


Home Is Where The Heart Is

by SnorkleShit



Category: The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Adoption, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Dissociation/Derealization/Depersonalization, Emotional Abuse, Eve is the school officer, Ezekiel centric, Fluff, Flynn is the quirky History teacher, Foster Care, Medical issues, Mentions of past self harm, Multi, Past Child Abuse, Polyamory, Stealing, Threats of sexual violence, drug usage, it says ot3 but the main relationship in focus is eve and ezekiel's familial one, non magical au, some random ocs - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-01 17:10:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 38
Words: 174,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5214053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnorkleShit/pseuds/SnorkleShit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake Stone has never asked for much, but always longed for a lot. Cassandra Cillian faces the looming threat of death, and struggles to find a reason to live at all in a world so soon to slip away.  Ezekiel is sent to live with a new foster mother, Eve Baird, but he doesn't expect to be there long. He doesn't expect to finally stop running, and he certainly didn't expect to fall in love with two people at the same time.</p><p>And none of them expected to help each other find what they'd each been looking for their whole lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. threshold of the setting sun

**Author's Note:**

  * For [saph](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saph/gifts).



> SOUNDTRACK: http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/home-is-where-the-heart-is
> 
> (the texts are all supposed to be in italics, please tell me if they screw up because it's being weird)

When Ezekiel Jones was first told he was being sent to Oregon, he had laughed and told the social worker that he was ready to meet all the west coast girls. And boys, for that matter. She had rolled her eyes and carried on with her explanation of where they were sending him, but he had tuned most of it out. It wasn't like it mattered, he wouldn't be staying there long.

The flight over and the drive there had been rather uneventful, since his social worker's laser hawk eyes and iron grip were on him the whole time. He still managed to steal four wallets, and put them back, just for fun. Took some money off the top, naturally, but it was more of an exercise in boredom than anything else. The most memorable part of the five hour drive was the scenery rolling past his window. Who knew somewhere could be so...tall and green? Even in New York, he had never seen this many trees and mountains in his life. The town they entered wasn’t the huge cities he was used to, but it wasn’t some tiny back road redneck nightmare. Which was a relief.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, they pulled up to the house of his new foster guardian. Ezekiel forced himself to appear indifferent, even though his heart was beating out of his chest. He stuck his hands in his pockets as he got out of the car, hoping the movement would seem natural. In reality, it was to hide his shaking hands. As he meandered after his social worker towards the door, he made quick work of casing out the basics of the house. Ranch style, what looked like 3 bedrooms, two car garage. Split roof with a bedroom or something above the garage, windows peeking up. Easy to climb out of, with the large old oak tree in the yard. There weren't any flower or decorations in the yard or on the porch. The grass was neatly cut, though. The house was painted a matte gray with white trim, and vaguely achromatic stone texturing over certain parts of the porch. There were three security cameras out front, Ezekiel noticed. Not quite hidden, but not in plain sight. Not super expensive ones, but not shitty ones. It made sense, since there was a cop car parked in the parking lot. But he’d already known this woman was involved in the law.

As they moved closer to the door, Ezekiel felt his skin crawl and his stomach churn. the urge to bolt grew stronger and stronger, and he struggled to control it. The door opened after his grouchy old social worker knocked three times, to reveal a smiling, beautiful blonde woman. Her hair was pulled back into a tight teacher bun, and she was wearing casual jeans with a plain blouse. Minimal makeup, but just enough to highlight her features. He couldn’t quite place her age - not young, but she looked like it. What Ezekiel noticed the most was the way she carried herself. With purpose, authority, strength. It made him want to turn on his heel and run as far away as possible. This house looming in front of him felt like a giant bear trap.

“Hello! Come in, would you guys like some water? It must have been a long trip.” The woman greeted, smiling widely. But her eyes were sharp, flicking over them as if it was instinct to gauge their presence. More than just a cop, Ezekiel guessed. Ex military. Fucking amazing.

“Thank you so much. It’s so good to see you, Eve. How have you been?” His social worker, Freya, said happily as she stepped inside. Ezekiel followed, flashing his biggest, most shit eating grin at Eve. He saw the appraising flash of her eyes, as she took in everything about him. All without missing a beat.

“I’ve been good, just working, and getting ready for Mr. Jones here to call this place home, I hope.” Eve said, pulling the door closed behind them. Ezekiel languidly moved forward, looking through the open doorways to the living room, dining room, kitchen and the hallway that lead to a stairwell. A few picture frames, some flowers, no knickknacks or anything like that. Books neatly stacked on the end tables next to the couch. Everything was tidy and organized, and he wrinkled his nose slightly at it before turning to Eve with another wolfish grin. He shrugged carelessly, reaching a hand out to absently run a finger along the wall.

“Home? I wouldn’t count on that, love. Sure a nice unit you got here, be a shame if someone robbed you off, wouldn’t it? Good thing you’ve got those security cameras, nice taste. ” He said brazenly. Eve’s smile faltered, and she cocked her head a little. Freya cleared her throat awkwardly, and they headed into the living room to finish talking about everything. Ezekiel didn’t do much talking, other than to give snarky answers to every question given to him. Eve Baird seemed...like someone who could go either way, nice or mean. Ezekiel decided then he wouldn’t let himself find out either way.

“I’ll be going now, thank you so much. Ezekiel, do you need help carrying your stuff up?” Freya asked as they walked her to the door. Ezekiel shook his head, walking past them to the door.

“No, I’ve only got one bag. I’ll go grab it.” He said, heading quickly down the stairs of the porch and out to the car. He pulled his bag out of the car and sighed, squinting up at the house again before he went back. He slowed down as he walked up the stairs, because he could hear voices. The door was slightly ajar. He crept forward as quietly as possible to hear what was being said.

“...every two weeks for the first few months, me or someone else will be by to see how things are going. You’ve got all the numbers if you need anything, and the number of the Reynolds, right?” Freya was asking. Ezekiel froze, blood running cold at that name.

“Yes, I’ve got it all. Don’t worry, I’m more than a match for Mr. Runaway. Thank you for this chance.” Eve replied.

“You might regret putting such a fight up over this, Baird. Even Jonathan and Maria were on board with sending him to the correctional facility to straighten him out, and you know them. They wouldn’t just give up unless he was a lost cause.” Freya said, her tone changing slightly.

Lost cause. That’s what he was. He clenched his jaw against a strange surge of emotion. It wasn’t like this wasn’t everything he already knew.

“Nobody’s a lost cause when they’re just a kid, Freya. He’s just a tough nut to crack. The fresh Oregon air will do him good, we don’t have anywhere for him to run here. John and Maria have done so well by so many foster kids, maybe it’s time to give them a break. I mean, they raised Ivy Leaguers for christ’s sake.” Eve replied firmly.

“Exactly. They took kids from way worse situations and lifted them up that high, I’ve seen them perform some god damn miracles. But...you just can’t help someone who doesn’t want help. But, you seem confident, so we’ll see. Maybe you’ll be what it takes to knock that kid down a peg. I’ll be in touch.” Freya sighed. Ezekiel took this to mean that the conversation was over, so he quickly backed up and then started forward as if he was just walking up. Freya opened the door all the way just as he was reaching for the handle. He smiled at her and stepped to the side politely so she could step past, swiping her wallet from her jacket pocket as she did. She smiled and waved as she walked off the porch and down the driveway. Eve came to stand next to him in the doorway, and the wallet was suddenly being ripped from his own pockets before he could blink.

“Freya! You dropped this!” Eve called casually, holding the wallet up. Ezekiel blinked at her in surprise. Freya turned around, and Eve tossed her the wallet. Freya caught it fairly easily and called out a thank you, before getting in her car and driving off. Eve crossed her arms and turned to give Ezekiel a smug smile.

“You’re pretty quick, kid. But I was in NATO. I’m the big leagues. From here on out, being a petty criminal isn’t gonna fly. Not on my watch.” Eve announced, turning and walking inside. Ezekiel followed her, shutting the door behind her.

“Well then it’s a good thing I’m not a _petty_ criminal, ain’t it?” He said, smirking. Eve rounded on him, raising an eyebrow.

“And what exactly is that supposed to mean, Jones?” She asked.

He pretended to look affronted, putting a hand to his chest. “Why, it means exactly what it does, Baird. I may be a runaway and a criminal, but I never lie.” He said sincerely.

Eve looked him over, nodding. “Maybe. But not telling lies and being _honest_  are two different things.”

Ezekiel furrowed his brow and pursed his lips thoughtfully, giving her a look. “No, I’m pretty sure they mean the same thing. Rather a straightforward definition of honesty.”

Eve huffed. A smart aleck to the bone. This ought to be fun. “You’re room is upstairs, the third door to the left. The one with the window overlooking the street, that’s super easy to climb out of and onto the tree. But I’m sure an honest fellow such as yourself wouldn’t use that to your advantage. Now, what would you like for dinner?” She asked.

“How good is the pizza in this town?” Ezekiel asked. Eve grinned, shoulders dropping.

“Oh, thank god, I’m a horrible cook. I know just the place. What do you like?” Eve asked, pulling her phone out of her back pocket.

“Anything that doesn’t have pineapple or anchovies.” He replied.

“Pepperoni and sausage it is. Go unpack, it should be here soon. I’m sure you’re tired after that trip, and you’re starting school early tomorrow.” She said. Ezekiel blanched.

“Really? So soon?” He asked, surprised.

“Yup. I’m the school officer. You’re already registered, and I’ll be driving you every morning. Although, the school is only a few blocks away. It’s a good school, you’ll like it.” Eve said with an upbeat tone.

“Yeah, says the chick who works there. What makes you think you know what I like?” Ezekiel asked, feeling a slight lash of anger.

“You’re smart.” Was all she stated as a reply.

“Street smart.” He countered in indignation. “I’m not some bookworm.”

Eve just shrugged and walked into the living room as she put the phone up to her ear and began to make the delivery. Ezekiel just stared after her for a moment, perplexed. Then he shook his head and started up the stairs.

HIs room wasn’t huge, but it wasn’t tiny. There was a small closet, a bed with white and blue bedding that looked super comfortable, a nightstand and a window seat underneath the big paneled windows that jutted out over the slanted roof. Ezekiel set his bag on the floor next to the bed, and walked to the window seat. He pushed his hand against the cushions. Pretty nice.

The glass was clean, all except a few specks smudges on the outside. Even though it was only a two story ranch style house, the window gave a fairly good view of the winding neighborhood. A bunch of mismatched styles of house, framed by an abundance of different types of trees. More evergreen trees than he was used to, for sure.

He hadn’t wanted to show it down there, but he was actually exhausted. He’d spent the entire trip on edge, trying to hid how terrified he was. He sagged a bit, sighing as he sat down in the window seat and put his back against the wood. He looked out the window at the slowly approaching sunset. The golden disc was casting a pinkish glow along the dark ridge of the horizon. He’d seen the sun rise over the ocean, all the time, back in Eastern Australia and on the East coast of America. But he’d never seen it set.

He promised himself then, that when he ran away from here, he’d go west. There were always great places to hide and steal on the coast. He’d been told that the Northwest had cold beaches. Washington was above Oregon, right? Seattle was on the coast. Maybe he’d go North. Seemed like a good place for a lost cause like him. Maybe he could find a way to get to Hawaii, or somewhere tropical and full of tourists. At the very least, he just wanted to get as far away as possible.

Far away from what, he didn’t wanna think about right now. Or ever. That was in the past, and as long as he kept running, he’d find someplace he didn’t want to run away from anymore. Somewhere he finally felt free, to steal and get as rich as possible, where nobody could ever hold him back or lock him away again.

No, he wouldn’t be here long. He had learned his lesson many times over. Leave before they hurt you. Maybe this time, those pesky social workers wouldn’t waste their time coming after him.

“Jones?” Came Baird’s voice through the door, followed by a knock. He whipped around in slight surprise, having been lost in thought. He blinked. She knocked. That was a first. He got up and crosses to open the door, putting on his best smile.

“Here you go.” Eve said, handing him a rather nice looking bag. He took it, and pulled it open. There was a laptop, a laptop cord, a bunch of spiral notebooks, a pencil bag and a graphing calculator. He stared up at her.

“This is a nice laptop.” Was all he could say.

“It’s the digital age. I haven't gotten you a phone yet, though. What kind do you like?” She asked, as if everything she’d just given him where the most normal things in the world. Ezekiel pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“Uh, I've already got one.”

Eve raised an eyebrow. “I'm going to go ahead and warrant a guess that I don't need to ask about your service plan.”

Ezekiel grinned. “It's the digital age indeed. But, really, you don't...buying me over isn't going to help.” He said.

Eve’s expression fell into a slightly annoyed look. “I don't buy people over. I’m your Guardian, now. Taking care of you includes giving you the things you need to succeed. In something other than stealing, that is. Take the win, Jones. It didn't even cost that much, I know a guy. It's already logged into the wifi, please try to refrain from cybercrime as well. I will know.” She told him firmly.

“I'm sure you will.” He replied. She gave him a pointe look, before turning away.

“I'll be downstairs if you need, and we’ll watch a movie when the pizza comes. I hope you like action.” She called over we her shoulder. Ezekiel watched her go, clutching the bag, not sure how to process all of this. After a moment of her absence, he slowly shut the door. He turned away and pressed his back to it, frowning down at the possessions in his hands, and then up at his new room. The last dying light of the sun was peaking through the window, casting rays of contrast into the space.

This was surely a Trojan Horse. He would be gone before he could find out the nasty truth behind such a pretty facade. That didn't mean he couldn't have a little fun while he was here, though.


	2. first day of forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake and Cassandra's days get off to a rough start, and Eve's already got a migraine from the actions of her new charge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOUNDTRACK: http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/home-is-where-the-heart-is

“Are you sure you want to go to school today?” Her mother’s feather light voice asked as her smooth hands fretted over Cassandra’s outfit. Cassandra clenched her jaw, and tried not to show it.

“Yes, mom. I’ll be fine. Yesterday’s tests didn’t take much out of me, I’m getting used to it all.” Cassandra tried to assure her. Her mother took a slight step back, her pinched expression full of sorrow and pity. She reached up and tugged Cassandra’s red beanie a little lower. She had to wear it all the time now, to hide the spot on the side of her head they had to shave during an examination. At least, until the hair grew back in. Not that she minded; she liked the beanie. 

“Getting used to it isn’t a very comforting point, dear.” Her mother said, almost like a reprimand. Cassandra tried to swallow the lump in her throat, and smiled. 

“Sorry, mother. I should, uh, be going now or I’ll miss my ride.” She said, wanting nothing more than to get out of this suffocating house already. 

“Have fun at school, dear.” Her mother called as she made a beeline for the door. Cassandra ducked her head as she let the door shut behind her. A year or so ago, she would have given anything for her mother to tell her to have a good day, instead of the mantra _”Work hard, pay attention, expand your mind!”_. But ever since the news about her brain tumor, that mantra had went out the window. Along with all her trophies, her scholarships, her extracurriculars, and basically her entire future. Her parents had even wanted to take her out of school, but she had refused.

She may be a dead girl walking, but she refused to be a drop out. 

\----------

Jake stretched his arms above his head as he waited for his toast to pop up. He must have slept on his neck wrong. 

As he was quickly buttering said toast, a noise behind him alerted him to the arrival of his father. His back instantly went rigid, but he didn’t turn around.

“Shouldn’t you be at school?” Came a gruff voice. Jake clenched his jaw.

“It’s only seven; I’m leaving now to go get Cassandra.” He replied.

“Real nice of that girl to waste her time tutoring you.” Isaac mused as he shuffled over to pour himself a cup of coffee, and then took out a flask and poured a rank smelling liquid into it. “Especially since she ain’t got much time at all.” 

Jake felt his gut spike and twist with emotion, and he took a deep breath before turning around and grabbing his backpack off the stool. “Don’t talk about her like that.” He ground out, unable to resist.

His father’s demeanor immediately changed to aggression. He sneered at his son over his coffee.  
“I’ll talk however I want, boy. This is my house and I’m your father. You need to learn some respect. Not that you’ve ever been good at learning anything.” He spat, turning and leaving the kitchen. Jake stood there for a moment, free hand clenched into a fist, trying not to scream or shake. He finally huffed and bit angrily into his toast, and heading out of the house to his truck.

\----

Eve’s car was just as tidy as her house, save an empty coffee cup collection in a bag on the floor. There was a grate across the back and on the windows, just like any other cop car. 

“I bet you’ve never been in the front side of one of these, eh?” Eve asked as she pulled out of the driveway. Ezekiel smirked, leaning back and kicking his shoes up on the dashboard.

“Assumptions, assumptions, Baird. I’ll have you know I’ve taken quite a few of these on some pretty memorable joy rides.” He said smugly. Eve glanced over at him incredulously, and reached over to shove his feet off the dash. 

“What, were you raised in a barn?” She demanded with a huff.

Ezekiel sat up straighter, adjusting to having his feet on the floorboard. “A shack in the Outback, actually.” He said, with a mock serious tone. “Raised by kangaroos. I’ll show you a family photo sometime. Reunions were hopping.” 

“Nobody likes a smart ass, Jones.” Eve said with a splendid smile.

Ezekiel feigned a look of effrontment. “Things must be different here in the West, because where I come from--” 

“We’re here! Huzzah, first day of a new school!” Eve loudly cut him off, as she parked the car in the teacher’s lot. Ezekiel turned and craned to look out the window, grimacing up at the tall building. By the time he turned back around, Eve was already out of car and walking around to open his for him. 

“Please refrain from whatever it is you think you’re an expert in, and have fun and all that jazz.” Eve announced, pulling out a piece of paper and handing it to him. It was his schedule. Ezekiel tucked it in his pocket as he climbed out of the car, pulling his satchel to his hip. 

 

“Yeah, right. I’ll try and keep that in mind. See you later.” He said, without even looking at her as he passed. He smiled to himself as his eyes flicked over the building, the cars, the landscape, and more particularly the people mulling about. As a whole, they all looked to be an even mix of wealths. His eyes were drawn to some of the guys leaning against an outdoor table, wearing Nike shirts and snapbacks, with bright shiny watches on their wrists. Then his gaze flicked to the student parking lot across the way, at the nice big trucks and shitty little carts on wheels, with their window’s left cracked. 

He’d _definitely_ try and have some fun. 

\---------

Cassandra fiddled with her phone for a while until that familiar red pick up pulled up to the curb. She grinned and hopped up into the passenger seat, giving Jake a big smile. 

“Do you wanna stay after today? We’re really making headway in pre calc, I think.” She asked. Jake gave her an appraising look as he pulled back onto the street. 

“You had a rough morning too, then?” He said as an answer. She shrugged, adjusting her beanie and pulling her seatbelt on. 

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still have a nice day ! I think it’s pizza pocket day at lunch, you know. They have a schedule they switch off and on every two weeks, it’s not that hard to predict.” Cassandra replied thoughtfully. Jake gave a small smile as he kept his eyes ahead on the road.

“I sure do like the way you think, Red. How did you do on that essay for Carson? Need any help?” 

“No, I actually got pretty into it! I’m not _that_ bad at history.” She replied.

Jake huffed. “That’s just because the prompt was about Marie Curie. You wrote three pages, didn’t you?” He asked with a knowing tone.

“....four.” Came the sheepish but somewhat proud reply, which earned a laugh from the boy behind the wheel. 

\------

During their lunch, Jake and Cassandra liked to hang out in Mr. Carson’s room. He was their mutual favorite teacher, and they had his class directly after lunch anyways. They actually had mostly the same classes. Being a medium sized town, most people were split into three class groupings, excluding advanced classes and most electives. 

Flynn Carson was an...eccentric man, at best. He had multiple PhDs, he knew something about everything, and he was a hilarious man that never seemed to stop moving. His room was plastered with maps, artifacts, trinkets and photographs from all around the world. Cassandra and Jake liked to sit in the far back corner away from the door, in cushy chairs next to the window while Mr. Carson went about doing whatever it was he did. The only times he wasn't working on something was when Officer Baird came into have lunch with him. Which was every other day. 

“Do you think he’ll ever actually ask her out?” Jake whispered to Cassandra, smirking as he jerked his head towards the two adults, who were sitting and talking at the desk. Cassandra glanced up from her notebook, and blushed.

“Lucy and the science club are placing bets, actually. Should I put you in?” She asked. Jake pulled out a five dollar bill and tossed it over to her with a laugh. He was about to say something, when Mrs. Lamia poked her head in the door. Jake and Cassandra immediately sat up straight, glancing at each other. Everyone was afraid of her.

Except for Officer Baird, that was. 

“Hey, Carson, do you have those forms for Kyle? The booster club needs them, like, now.” Lamia asked. Flynn held up a finger and began to shuffle through his messy desk for the forms in questions. The state of his desk earned a glare from Lamia, so Eve turned to her and smiled.

“Hey, how was your new student?” She asked. Lamia raised an eyebrow.

“You mean the Jones kid who’s supposed to be in my P.E class? He never showed. Hasn’t shown up to anything besides his homeroom, I think.” Lamia replied. Eve went rigid, and then stood up suddenly, throwing her napkin down onto her empty salad container. Her jaw was tense and her eyes were full of that look that sent the stoners and slackers running on a regular basis. Jake and Cassandra looked at each other and then back at the scene in front of him.

“Who?” Flynn asked, standing up with the form in his hand.

“My new foster kid, remember? Today’s his first day and he’s already _skipping_! I swear to god, when I find him…” Eve began to mutter to herself in exasperation as she strode swiftly out the door like a woman on a mission. Flynn blinked, before awkwardly holding the papers out to Mrs. Lamia. The darker skinned woman ripped them from his grasp with an indifferent yet slightly judgemental look, before spinning on her heel and leaving the same way Baird had. 

Mr. Carson rolled his eyes and sat back down. Jake and Cassandra leaned forward a little, both on the same thought.

“Officer Baird has a foster kid?” Cassandra asked, eager for the information. Flynn nodded.

“Yeah, she’s been talking about it for a while. Some problem street criminal from Australia or something, they wanted to ship him off to juvie and all that but Eve put up a fight. She’s real set on turning him around, I almost feel bad for him. Almost. He’s in your next class, I think, if he shows up. And if Eve hasn’t skinned him alive yet.” Carson shrugged, and turned back to his desk. Jake and Cassandra leaned back again, turning to raise their eyebrows at each other. Then, a sudden sound drew their attention back to the front desk. 

“Hey, do you guys wanna see something groundbreaking? I just got this flown in from my site in Nepal!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, come say hi to me at queerseth.tumblr.com!


	3. discipline and disregard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezekiel gets busted, and new friendships get off to a rocky start.

“Trust me, my good man, this is a great deal.” Ezekiel assured the younger kid, dangling the iPod in front of him. He’d stolen it off some girl who had been busy making fun of an allegedly less attractive girl with her shitty friends. Then he had wiped it, and set out to sell it fast,

The freshman wearing a hoodie and basketball shorts looked at him apprehensively. “How do I know you didn’t steal this? I’ve never seen you around before. And that’s a lot of money.”

Ezekiel put a hand to his chest and pretended to seem offended. “Well. I’ll have you know I’m new around here. Look, buddy, I’m just a new guy trying to get some cash so I can acheive my dreams. And this is a damn good deal, these things sell for thousands retail and used. I’m asking a tiny fraction of that, because I like you. But if you really don’t--” His speech was interrupted but the freshman’s eyes going wide at something behind Ezekiel’s back. The younger guy turned around and booked it down the hall.

Ezekiel shoved the iPod back into his pocket and moved forward, already knowing what was coming without having to turn around. But before he could get even a step away, he was yanked back by his hood and spun around to stare up into the hard, steely eyes of his foster mother. He smiled nervously. 

“Baird! You wouldn’t happen to be in the market for an iPod, would you? Family and friends discount, you know.” He said cheerily, trying to cover his shame at letting himself get caught. Although, maybe it would help the lady realize that turning him around wasn’t an option.

Baird’s eyes were blazing, and Ezekiel felt fear trickle down his spine. Instead of showing any of this fear or doubt, he just smiled like it didn’t matter.

“Office. _Now_.” She said, in a tone that Ezekiel was all too familiar with.  
_____

 

“ _Seriously?_ You couldn’t have waited, what, a day?” Baird demanded, as she paced back and forth in front of Ezekiel. He was seated in a chair in her office, while they waited for the girl to come reclaim her stolen property. Ezekiel just shrugged.

“What can I say, can’t fight nature.” He replied. Baird threw her hands up and rolled her head towards the ceiling. Luckily, she didn’t notice him flinch. 

“Stealing isn’t _nature_ , Jones. No matter what you apparently want to think. Stealing is something you have to work at, to choose, to learn. Just like everything else. And just like everything else, you can unlearn it.” Baird announced, spinning to look at him again, planting her hands on her fists.

Ezekiel swallowed past a lump in his throat, and leaned back in his chair to try to seem as casual and uninterested as possible. He gave her a helpless, almost pitying look.

“I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but I’m an exception to that rule. I’m the real deal, naturally talented. This is how things have always been, love. I’m not proud that stealing is the only thing I’m good at, but I’m proud I’m good at it. If you really--” He was interrupted by a blonde whirlwind bursting into the office. It was the girl he’d jacked the iPod from. She had a pinched expression and carried herself like she was the most important person in the world. She strode forward angrily, without even asking for Baird’s permission to enter, and snatched her iPod off the desk. Then she rounded on Ezekiel with pure rage and disgust in her eyes.

“I’m going to make your life a living hell, you pathetic little kleptomaniac.” She snarled. Something about the way she held herself, her voice, her sense of self importance grated against Ezekiel. He leaned forward.

“At least I’m not a bully who gets off on hurting people just because I think I’m better than everyone.” He spat right back at her. Her eyes widened, and her face went red as she sputtered for a moment. As if she were shocked anyone would speak to her like that. Then she spun around and strode out. He laughed as she did, leaning back in his chair.

“Oh man, she’s gonna be even more pissed when she finds out I wiped it.” He snickered as he craned to watch her storm out of the office. 

“Is that why you stole it?” Baird’s voice asked from behind him. But it wasn’t angry or tense anymore, it was suddenly calm and soft. Ezekiel turned back around, raising an eyebrow in confusion. Baird’s eyes weren’t blazing anymore, and her stance wasn’t rigid. She was just standing, her head cocked and her arms crossed with a distant expression in her eyes. 

“What?” He asked. He didn’t like that look one bit. 

“Did you take her phone because she’s a spoiled bully? We’ve had a lot of complaints about her.” Baird asked, gesturing towards the door where the girl had just left.

Ezekiel instantly scoffed, shaking his head. “Nah, I don’t put sentiment or anything like that into it. It was just an easy score. I’m trying to get back in the groove, things have been a bit jumbled, you know. Adjustment period. Otherwise you wouldn’t have caught me.” He said airily.

Baird rolled her eyes, shoulders sagging. The thoughtful, distant expression faded into exasperation. 

“Detention, for two days. I’ll make it two weeks, and keep adding on for every class you ever skip again. No more skipping, and no more stealing. Are we clear?” She announced. 

Ezekiel nodded. “No skipping. Detention. Got it.” 

“And no _stealing_.” Baird added firmly.

“Yeah, sure.” He said with a growing grin. She was not smiling. 

“Whatever, Jones. Go to the rest of your classes, and i’ll drive you home after an hour of detention in the library after school.” She said, just as the bell rung. He stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder. Then he gave her a mocking salute. Surprisingly, she gave a small smile at that. He turned away quickly and made his way out of the office.

John Reynolds would have had his hide for a mocking salute like that. But Baird wasn’t Reynolds, as his mind kept reminding him.   
_______________

“Now, the interesting thing about the Magna Carta was--” Flynn was explaining, as he gestured to the document on the projector, when he was interrupted by the door open. He whirled around, and everyone turned to look as well. A Korean boy in a red shirt and jeans was standing there, smiling awkwardly. 

“Ah, you must be Ezekiel Jones! So nice of you to show up.” Flynn said, snapping his fingers. Ezekiel gave a slight nod, and moved forward to find somewhere to sit. 

Cassandra, who had been staring at him the whole time, began to slap Jake’s arm. Jake, sitting next to her with his head buried in his notebook doodling, glanced up. 

“Is that the foster kid?” He whispered to her out of the side of his mouth. As way of reply, Cassandra stood slightly and waved her arm, and the gestured with a big smile to the empty seat at their table.

“Hi! You can sit with us if you want!” She called. A few people in the back of class snickered.

“Ah, yes, that’s a great idea. If you would take your seat, Mr. Jones, I was just getting into some little known facts about the Magna Carta. Do you know anything about the subject?” Flynn asked hopefully. Ezekiel strolled over to the seat and gave a perplexed, not-really-interested sort of look. 

“Ain’t that some sort of pasta, mate?” He asked, his voice saturated in an Australian accent. He plopped down in the seat next to Cassandra and winked at her, earning a frown from Jake. The class laughed lightly at what he had said, but Mr. Carson didn’t seem amused. He turned around and started to loudly go back into his lecture. 

 

Cassandra was practically vibrating in excitement and curiosity. Ezekiel glanced over the two of them. Some thickheaded thick and a weird overexcitable girl. Not the worst people to socialize with.

“So, you’re Baird’s new kid?” The boy asked.

“ _Foster_ kid, yeah. She’s alright so far. And you two are?” He asked, pulling a pack of gum he’d stolen out of his pocket and popping a piece in his mouth. He put it away without offering them any.

“I’m Cassandra, and this is Jake. What’s Officer Baird’s house like? What’s she like outside of school?” She asked after she made her introductions, talking at about twice the speed of the average person. 

“It’s an alright house, she’s a bit of a neat freak. Lots of security cameras, like a real cop. And she’s pretty much the same, but sassier and acts like she knows something you don’t. But I just got here, so I don’t really know how she acts around everyone else here.” Ezekiel shrugged. Jake nodded, giving a slight huff.

“Yeah, that’s pretty much how she always is, then.” The other boy replied. He had a Southern accent, he really was a hick. Cassandra gave a slight smirk and leaned closer to Ezekiel.

“Yeah, except when she’s around Mr. Carson.” She whispered, gesturing with her head slightly towards their teacher. Ezekiel sat forward in his seat, suddenly interested.

“Wait, the two of them?” He asked.

“Yeah, everyone knows it. They haven’t gotten around to going out yet, but it’s any day now.” Jake told him. 

“It’s so cute! They’re like lovesick teenagers, but not as annoying.” Cassandra said matter of factly. 

Ezekiel nodded, and then gave them a look. “So, are you two a thing?” He asked bluntly. Cassandra instantly turned bright red, and Jake looked down at his notebook. That gave Ezekiel all the answers he needed, and he grinned wider.

“No, we’re just friends. What about you? Do you have anyone? Back in Australia? How long have you been here, anyways? What part of Australia are you from?” Cassandra asked, questions shooting out in rapid fire. Ezekiel blinked, slightly overwhelmed.

“Damn, is this an interrogation?” He asked. Cassandra, stiffened, suddenly looking incredibly embarrassed, before she ducked her head and put a hand to her mouth. 

“Sorry…” She said softly. Jake shot Ezekiel an extremely harsh glare, and Ezekiel realized he’d made a blunder. The girl seemed nice, so he pulled out the pack of gum and offered her a piece.

“Nah, it’s all good. I’m from Melbourne, in the southeast. Been here about three or four years, I think. And yes, I have an entire brothel of beautiful supermodels waiting for me back Down Under. They write me weekly.” He said, good natured sarcasm lacing his words. Cassandra looked up at him, and gave a small smile as she took the gum from him. 

“Yeah, sure.” Jake replied with a huff, looking away from him and up at the board with an unimpressed expression.

“Do you miss it?” Cassandra asked, in a calmer tone. Ezekiel blinked. He hadn’t been expecting a question like that.

“Not really. I’m a go with the flow kinda guy.” He said.

“Does going with the flow include skipping all your classes?” Jake asked, glancing over at him with a judgemental look. Ezekiel felt slightly affronted that some hick who probably had less than half his IQ was harshing on him so much. 

“I had important business to attend to, mate. Besides, i’ve had a lot of first days, and this won’t be my last. Don’t get your knickers in a twist, Cowboy.” He snapped back, crossing his arms. Cassandra pursed her lips awkwardly and Jake gave him some weird expression. He just shrugged and turned away from them, pulling a notebook out of his bag and starting to doodle. He wondered if there was anyone in this town that wouldn’t be so judgy-judgy. Then again, it wasn’t like he cared what these people thought about him. Right?


	4. what's a heaven for?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Detention turns out more interesting than anyone expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOUNDTRACK:http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/home-is-where-the-heart-is

The rest of the school day passed without much event. He had another class with Cassandra and Jake, but he didn’t sit by them again. His last class was computer essentials and principles, and when the bell let out Eve was outside the door waiting for him. Even acting as casual and non-menacing as she was, Ezekiel was slowly starting to recognize a constant underlying rigidness, perhaps better described as strength. Nah, that was too poetic. 

“Detention is in the Library, supervised by Mr. Jenkins. He looks old, but don’t let his appearance fool you. He’s a great guy, but don’t go getting on his bad side.” She said as she lead him through the semi crowded halls. He guffawed in an over exaggerated manor at her words. 

“I’m very good at getting on people’s good side, when I choose to.” He declared, earning a sarcastic laugh from the woman. They headed up stairs and entered the library, which was a surprisingly large and expansive room. It had wood paneling and warm lighting, and the bookcases were tall and evenly placed, besides a large space full of tables in the middle.

There were more than a few kids at said tables, scattered throughout the area, all doing their own thing.

“They all got detention too?” He asked.

“ _Have._ They all have detention _as well_ , if you wanted to be truly proper.” Said a dry voice from behind, and they turned to see an older guy, with a square jaw and neatly combed white hair. He was wearing an old guy suit and holding a stack of books. Eve smiled.

“Jenkins! Good to see you.” She said.

“Always a pleasure, Miss Baird. Is this another delinquent you're putting into my care?” He asked, glancing over Ezekiel with a dismissive yet piercing gaze. Ezekiel felt slightly disgruntled, but didn't let it show.

“No, this kid is mine.” She replied. “Ezekiel Jones, my new foster child. He’ll be in here for two days after school, think you can handle it?” She asked. Jenkins laughed lightly, walking around them to set the books down on his desk, which was positioned perpendicular to the rows of tables.

“Oh, I'm sure. As for your question, Mr.Jones, no. Not all of these students have detention. Very few, in fact. Many perfectly respectful students spend their time here as a place to relax or study. As the library setting implies, please try and keep it down.” Jenkins informed him, sitting down at the desk and putting in a pair of half moon glasses. 

“I'll be by once the hour’s up to take you home. Give me your phone, you’ll get it back when I come to get you.” Eve instructed, turning to him and holding out her hand. Ezekiel didn't move to hand it over.

“What if there's an emergency?” He tried. Eve raised an eyebrow, and Ezekiel sighed as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and handed it to her. He slipped it in her own pocket and gave him a wide smile.

“Have fun, I'll order pizza when we get home if you don't cause any trouble.” She said as way of farewell, and then headed out the door. 

“If you would please take a seat, Mr. Jones.” Jenkins said, without looking up from his desk. Ezekiel turned towards the rows of tables, pulling his spare phone out of his bag as he did. He smirked to himself and winked at the dude at the closest table, who was staring at him after the whole exchange. Then he scanned the rest of the area. His eyes caught on two bodies at a table near the very back. Jake and Cassandra, those weirdos from his History and Math classes. They probably didn't have detention and just hung out here because they were nerds. Probably a good idea not to try and sit by them again, so he took a seat two tables away from them. 

He settled into one of the chairs at the empty table and lounged on his phone for a while, deciding to do a little research on the valuables of the surrounding area. 

\---

“Detention? I would have thought he would have gotten fucking suspended.” Jake muttered aside to Cassandra, whose eyes where glued to the boy a few tables down from them. She had a pinched, thoughtful expression. Jake didn’t like that look one bit.

“We are _not_ going over there, Cassie.” He said firmly before she could even open her mouth. She turned to him with a firm expression and big eyes.

“Oh, come on, Stone! Since when are you such a wimp. I’m supposed to be the socially awkward one.” She said.

“There’s a difference between being social and talking to people I don’t freaking like!” He whisper yelled, glancing around to make sure nobody was listening. 

Cassandra narrowed her eyes and leaned in closer to him. “You may be able to convince everyone else your a dumb jarhead, but not me, Jacob Stone. You’re smarter than most of the people that have ever stepped foot in this school, and you of _all_ people should be able to recognize when somebody is putting on an act, a facade. He’s obviously just the kinda guy who’s been hurt, and he’s leaning on a defense mechanism as a crutch. Officer Baird has never taken in a foster kid before, I didn’t even know she was registered. We should give him a chance, be his friends, everyone needs friends. That’s what I did for you when you first moved here, and your only friends were those stupid fake idiots who don’t actually care about you.” She said insistently. Jake frowned deeply. She had a point, and he hated it.

“They aren’t complete idiots, they’re good guys…” He muttered, in a defeated tone. Cassandra did a little jump in her seat and her serious expression turned gleeful. She knew she had won him over. Without further adieu, she quickly shoved all her stuff in her bag and Jake begrudgingly did the same. He followed her as she skipped over to Ezekiel’s table, and they took the two seats across from him. Ezekiel’s eyes snapped up from his phone the minute they drew near, and he gave them a confused look.

“What do you lot want?” He asked, leaned back in his chair and kicking his feet up on the table. “Stolen goods? Test answers? Pass codes to the school after hours?” He asked.

Cassandra opened her mouth, then stopped and blinked. “Wait, you really have all of that?” She asked, her original thought lost to the new information. Ezekiel winked at her, and Jake scowled.

“He’s full of shit, Cassie.” Stone replied to her question. Ezekiel looked offended.

“Hey, mate, I’m more than legit. I’ll work my reputation up around these parts soon, just you wait and see.” He retorted loftily. 

“Is that seriously how you want to spend your time, acting like a petty criminal?” Jacob asked with a judgemental edge to his words. Ezekiel put his feet down and leaned forward in his chair again. 

“For one thing, there’s nothing petty about me. For another, what the hell do _you_ do with your time?” He asked.

“Working at my his father’s internationally acclaimed business.” Jacob said, trying to fake a sense of pride.

Ezekiel raised an eyebrow. “And what business is that? Construction?”

“Oil rigging is different from construction, it’s a wealthy business.” Jake said defensibly. Cassandra pursed her lips as her eyes flicked back and forth between the two of them.

“Is that what you want to do?” He asked. Jake froze. Nobody had ever asked him that before. He could feel Cassandra’s eyes burning into him. Ezekiel huffed before he could think of a reply.

“That’s what I thought. A man’s reach should exceed his grasp, or what’s a heaven for? That’s what I like to live by. Gotta have dreams, man.” Ezekiel said loftily, but his voice had a more sincere weight to it than usual. Jake blinked.

“Robert Browning?” He said, surprised. Ezekiel nodded, frowning at him.

“I don’t read much, but I like poetry. I wouldn’t think someone like you would read at all.” Ezekiel said, glancing over him again, with thoughtful eyes. Jake sensed he had made a blunder.

“Uh, we had to read that one for a grade. I only remember like, three lines.” Jake scrambled to lie, trying to cover up a moment of what might appear to be intellectualism.

“I like some poetry, but not long stuff.” Cassandra quickly decided to enter the conversation. Ezekiel’s attention turned to her. 

“I’m not much a reader myself, actually. I prefer film.” Ezekiel shrugged. Cassandra looked a little offended. 

“But literature is where it all _started_. Not that I’m much of a bibliophile, I’m more of a science geek. But you have to admit, books are like, the apex of human achievement. Like the soul of everything, don’t you think?” She said passionately. Jake nodded, unable to help himself. Her words spoke right to his secret bookworm heart. Ezekiel scoffed.

“Oh, please. Books are a great milestone, but hardly the _apex_ of humanity or some bogus like that. What about those little bagels with pizza on them, eh?” Ezekiel argued, tone extremely serious.

Jake squinted at him in disbelief. “Pizza bagels? That’s your counterargument?“ 

“Have you ever had a pizza bagel?” Ezekiel demanded.

“No.” Cassandra said right as Jake replied “Yes.”

Ezekiel gave Cassandra a horrified look. “Oh my god, you poor soul, you are in my prayers.” 

“Pizza bagels aren’t that good, they’re processed garbage!” Jake announced.

“You, sir, can sod off straight to hell.” Ezekiel retorted.

“Will you all _please_ be quiet!” A distraught Jenkins finally exclaimed, slamming his book closed and glaring at them over his glasses. They all clammed up, and then turned to each other with wide eyed expressions before simultaneously starting to snicker. 

\----------------

About forty minutes later, Jenkins was relieved by the site of Officer Baird entering the doors.

“Thank _god_.” He said as she approached.

“What did he do, try and lead a mutiny? Steal your underwear out from under you?” She asked, dreading the answer. Jenkins rolled his eyes.

“No, nothing like that. That, I could handle. They’ve just been bickering and giggling the whole time. Giggling! Like a group of middle schoolers. This is a library! People come here for peace!” He said in exasperation. 

Eve frowned, turning to scan the room for her foster child. “They…?” She asked, and then her eyes locked onto him. Or, them, rather.

Ezekiel was sitting at a table with Jacob Stone and Cassandra Cillian, and they were all laughing over something Cassandra was showing them on her little pink phone. Ezekiel was smiling, but not his usual cocky, smug smile. A real, honest, humorous smile. It did something to Eve’s heart, and she found herself smiling too.

“He’s been with them the whole time?” She asked Jenkins.

“Yes. You would think from how loudly they argue, they’d move away, but it seems they’re bickering out of good nature, which I hate about teenagers these days. Very confusing.” He muttered.

Eve frowned down at the older man. “I’m pretty sure sarcasm and good natured bantering isn’t a newfangled thing, Jenkins. How old _are_ you?” She asked. Jenkins turned back to his desk.

“Too old to still be working here, that’s how old…” He said, and muttered to himself as his hands moved over an old book that needed to be repaired. Eve pursed her lips and nodded, walking over to the table where the three teenagers were sitting. They immediately pulled back and sat up straighter as she approached. 

“Officer Baird.” Jake greeted with a formal nod of respect. Eve smiled at all of them. 

“Hey, kids. Are you two in detention too? Did you behave _too_ well?” She asked incredulously.

“No, we just hang out here after school because we don’t wanna go home.” Cassandra said. There was a beat of silence as everyone realized the weight behind her words, and Ezekiel blinked at them. Eve opened her mouth, but was interrupted by Jake, who stood up abruptly with a smile.

“We’ve all gotta go though, it’s almost closing time. You guys drive safe. C’mon, Cassie, I’ll take us to Laura’s Burgers on the way home.” He said. Cassandra’s eyes widened in excitement and she jumped up and started to put her stuff in her bag in a hurry. 

Ezekiel, who hadn’t taken any of his stuff out besides his spare phone, just slung his bag over his shoulder and stood up. 

“Catch you guys tomorrow, then.” He said, walking towards Eve. Cassandra flapped her hands and fumbled to pull her phone back out.

“Wait! Can I have your number?” She asked. Ezekiel turned around and raised her eyebrow. Cassandra’s face went red, and she scrambled to backtrack. “Like, in a friend way, totally platonic, I don’t like you. I mean, I like you! But not like, romantically, you know, I just--” Her words accelerated out of her mouth, but where cut off when Ezekiel just reached for her phone and punched his digits into the contact window. He handed it back with a smile.

“I get it. See you later.” He said, winking at them both before turning away. Eve fell in line next to him and they walked out of the library and out of the school.

“That was a lot of fun for what was supposed to be detention.” Eve said after a moment.

“I didn’t ask for it, they kind just forced their presence on me.” Ezekiel said, shrugging as if it hadn’t really mattered to him. 

“It’s not a bad thing. They’re good kids.” Eve replied.

Ezekiel snorted. “What, are you hoping they’ll rub off on me? Motormouth and Cowboy?” He asked harshly. She could tell he was uncomfortable.

“Totally. I’m also hoping you’ll rub off on them. That’s how the world works, Jones. People learn from each other.” She said.

Ezekiel nodded, and turned his head away. “That’s not always a good thing.” He replied, and his voice had a strange hint to it. Eve noted it, but decided not to press it.

“So, same pizza order as yesterday?” She asked. 

“How about we do thin crust this time?”

“I like how you think, kid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Come see me at queerseth.tumblr.com!


	5. sweet dreams are made of memes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares and the interesting start to a new day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOUNDTRACK:  
> http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/home-is-where-the-heart-is

_”Hello?” Cassandra heard herself call out, her voice echoing strangely, as if it was far away from her mouth. She turned around, feeling dizzy and out of place. Everything looked strange - the geometry wasn’t right, the lighting, it was all like she was looking at it under moving water. From what she could tell, she was in a hospital hallway. Which was strange, because usually they were fairly busy. This one, however, was completely empty._

_She couldn’t remember how she’d gotten here. She’d been doing something, something important...she had to find it. She wandered through the warped and ever moving hallways, not encountering another soul. She searched every room for something she couldn’t remember losing, but they were all empty. She had the strangest sense that whatever she was looking for was in fact something she’d never actually possessed at all._

_Finally, she came across a room that wasn’t empty. The curtains were drawn all the way around the bed at the very far end of the room. Even though there was no evidence to support the theory, she was certain she wasn’t alone in the room. She walked slowly towards the curtained bed, and reached out a hand to pull the curtain back._

_Laying on the bed was....her. Or at least, her body. She knew it wasn’t alive. It was just laying there, in the burgundy colored dress her mother had bought for her the day they found out about her brain tumor. She stared down at her dead body, at her ashen skin and her bald head, the bags under her eyes and her sickly thin figure. The burgundy dress seemed like a paper bag around a pencil. Her eyes were wide open, staring lifelessly up at the pale off white ceiling. The most disturbing thing, however, was that her dead body wasn’t a day past her current age. The doctor’s said she was supposed to have years ahead of her, but the body in front of her was still seventeen. Cassandra felt her heart begin to pound, but that didn’t make sense, because she was dead. She was standing here, staring down at her own body. A ghost. She was a ghost, wasn’t she? Couldn’t nobody see her?_

_It was then that another detail brought itself to attention. Nobody was there. Not in the whole hospital. Her dead body was just lying there, and nobody was crying, nobody was here. Not even her parents. Her parents, no, they must be here. They had to be. She knew it, they had to be somewhere in the hospital, grieving. Maybe that was what she had to find! She raced out of the room, and ran as fast as she could down every hall, breathing getting heavy as she frantically ran up and down stairs, stumbled over equipment and ripped open doors. Nobody. She started to scream for them, beg for them to come out, to come say goodbye. She felt like she was screaming for eternity before something cried back to her._

_Suddenly, she wasn’t racing down warped, empty halls. She was standing in a solid, warmly and logically lit hallway. She was standing next to a smiling couple and an old woman, who were both peering through a large glass window into another room. Cassandra stepped up to the window, looking to see what was so interesting._

_It was a nursery. It was full of those little cradle box things, and a dozen babies swaddled in blankets. Worst of all, her parents were standing in the middle of the room as a nurse handed them a gurgling little baby girl. But Cassandra knew it wasn’t her. It was someone else. Her parents seemed older, this must be after she died._

_”Is this your first time as parents?” The nurse asked as her parents oogled over the child. Her mother shook her head._

_”No, but this is the first time it matters.” Her mother crooned happily, and Cassandra felt the world fall out beneath her feet, and she was tumbling, tumbling, tumbling down…_

Cassandra sat straight up in bed, heart pounding as she tried to pull herself out of the nightmare. She hated nightmares, because she could never forget them. No matter how hard she tried.

\----------------

_“Jake, c’mon! Hurry up!” His mother’s voice called, from somewhere he couldn’t see. Jacob whirled around, trying to make sense of where he was. He was in a library, and the bookcases seemed to go on forever in every direction. He tried to follow his mother’s voice, turning corners and corners, occasionally hearing her calling or laughing._

_He had to find her, he had so many questions for her, why was she running away? He ran and ran, calling after her and sliding a little on the tiled floor as he whipped around corners. Before he knew it, he was sliding right into a bookcase. Pain blossomed through him and he fell onto the ground with a grunt._

_When he looked up, he was shocked to see his father standing above all the bookcases, as if he were a giant. His father was sneering down at him in disgust. Jake felt suddenly paralyzed, as if he’d been caught committing a crime, surrounded by knowledge and chasing a ghost._

_“Dad, I’m just, tryna find mom, she was just over there I swear--” Jake tried to explain, had shaking as he reached it to point down the row. His father’s face twisted in disgust._

_“You’re a horrible liar.” An overwhelming, booming voice assaulted him. Then his father’s giant hand came into view, swatting over the rows of eternal bookcases in anger. Like dominoes, the bookcases crashed into each other, and Jake felt a scream rip from his throat as he watched the cases plummet down to crush him beneath their weight._

Jake woke up to a loud banging sound, and ripped away the covers to try and catch his breathe. The banging was his father, who was smacking his fist against the wall next to Jake’s doorway. The stench of whiskey hit Jake full force, and his stomach rolled.

“Don’t be late for school, Sleeping Beauty. I don’t want any calls from the office while I’m at work like the last time you were _late_.” His father said pointedly.

“I told you, the truck--” Jake tried to defend himself, and his father sneered at him.

“The truck only broke down cause you’re too much of an idiot to take care of it. Get to school.” He snapped, and then slammed the door behind him

\---------------

 

_Darkness. Darkness, darkness, everywhere. Ezekiel’s breathe dragged into his lungs like molasses, and he was dizzy and disorientated. He couldn’t see, he couldn’t see, why couldn’t he see?_

_He tried his best to breathe in deep as he reach out, hands fumbling through the darkness, searching, searching, searching…_

Ezekiel woke up slowly, blinking his eyes open to the waking world with a groggy groan. His mouth was dry and his gut was full of a cold, heavy dread. He sat up slowly, shaking the remnants of a vague dream away from his mind.

He then picked up his phone, and was surprised to find that he had _twenty_ new messages. He sat up in bed with a yawn, scratching his head as he clicked on the little speech bubble icon. He supposed it made sense. Cassandra talked a mile a minute in real life, it wasn't a far stretch for her to be an aggressive multi-messenger. Not that he was overly peeved about it or anything.

Once his messages opened up, he frowned in confusion for a minute. He had five messages from Cassandra’s number, and fifteen messages from something dubbed _hell yeah_ followed by four sunglasses emojis.

It was a group chat. Cassandra had already added him to a freaking group chat? Damn, that girl didn't just _talk_ fast, did she?

He clicked on the group chat, to see exactly what he'd been dragged into.

**Cassandra: Yay! I've always wanted to do this!!!- 9:32 PM**

**Unknown Number: What the hell is this Cassie??- 9:34 PM**

**Cassandra: It's a group chat for you, me, and Ezekiel, duh! I've never actually had enough friends to make a group chat. It'll be fun I promise!- 9:34 PM**

**Unknown Number: We literally met him yesterday, Cassandra - 9:40 PM.**

**Cassandra: He likes us, I can tell. He's probably asleep, it says he hasn’t read anything. Speaking of reading, did you finish our physics assigned reading? Need any help?**

After that the conversation dulled into their own conversation about homework and eventually saying good night. Ezekiel shrugged. He didn't mind the idea. He saved the Unknown Number into his phone as Bitchy Cowboy. Then he went to google images and saved a close up picture of Danny Devito, and sent it to the group chat with no context as a way of a greeting. He tossed his phone onto the bed and got up so he could get ready to go to school. Just as he was dressed and pulling on his shoes, a little beep alerted him to a reply.

**Cassandra: WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE THAT ON YOUR PHONE - 6:45 AM**

Ezekiel grinned to himself, and sent another random picture as a reply before his attention was pulled away by a knock on the door.

“Hurry up, I wanna stop and get coffee on the way!” Eve called through the door. Ezekiel’s eyes widened in enticement, and his started to frantically shove his stuff in his bag.

\-------------------------

Ezekiel took one sip of his triple shot latte and moaned obscenely, eyelids fluttering.

“Oh, my god, yes. I love coffee. I heard the west coast had good coffee, I heard right.” He said enthusiastically.

“Did they have good coffee back in Australia?” Eve asked, as they pulled out of the parking lot the espresso stand had been located in.

“Well, that usually depended on where you went. As I imagine it is with most places.” Ezekiel responded as he practically chugged the drink through the straw.

“What else do you love besides coffee and stealing, then?” Eve decided to ask, hoping her question came off with a casual interest instead of an interrogation vibe.

Ezekiel looked over at her, having not expected such a question. “What do you mean? Are you asking me about my love life?”

Eve rolled her eyes. “God, no. I meant hobbies, interests. Talents, weird bar tricks, anything?”

“Well, my only real talent is being ardently awesome and stealing, but that’s more of a lifestyle than a hobby. I used to skateboard, and I sure do love hacking. Being a cyber criminal really gets my knickers twisted, if you catch my drift.” Ezekiel winked at the woman in the driver’s seat. Eve pursed her lips as she pulled into the school parking lot, and parked her car before turning to look at him.

“Okay, I’ll admit, I brought that on myself. Skateboarding, then? I’m not surprised. It’s the exact kind of stereotype you would attribute to a charming self important teenage criminal, after all.” Eve said with a teasing smile. Ezekiel turned to her dramatically, putting a hand to his chest.

“You think i’m charming?”

“Just get to class, Jones. And don’t even think about skipping, or you’ll never touch pizza, a laptop, or caffeine for longer than you’re adolescent brain can compute.” Eve said with a more serious tone. Ezekiel raised both his eyebrows in acknowledgement, and climbed out of the car. Eve locked the car and then pointed her index finger at him over the roof of the car, and fixed him with a firm look.

“I mean it, Ezekiel. No funny business.” She called after him as he started to turn away. Ezekiel stuck his free hand in his pocket as he strolled towards the school building, and brought the coffee cup up to his lips with a grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra had the longest nightmare/dream sequence in this chapter, but that's cause dreams and nightmares are gonna be sprinkled throughout from now on, so don't worry!
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading, come say hi to me at queerseth.tumblr.com!


	6. better late than never

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra is determined to get through to Ezekiel, and Ezekiel discovers his new friends have more than their fair share of drama.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soundtrack:  
> http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/home-is-where-the-heart-is

“I checked, he’s supposed to be here!” Cassandra said in a hushed, near panicked whisper.

“I told you this would happen.” Jake said with a huff, opening his health textbook and leafing through it absently as Cassandra frantically wrung her hands together, craning to look out the door from her seat at the front of the classroom. Then she looked down at her phone and sent another rapid few texts to Ezekiel. Then the bell for class to start rang, and passing period was officially over. 

“Baird’s gonna toast him when she finds him skipping _again_.” Jake muttered, and his voice held no pity. Cassandra shot him a distressed look, before standing up and raising her hand almost explosively. Mrs. Laurens, their health teacher, blinked in shock.

“What is it, Mrs. Cillian?” The aged woman asked in alarm.

“May I please go to my locker, I forgot something.” Cassandra lied. Jake stared up at her, furrowing his brow in confusion.

Mrs. Laurens blinked. “I’ve never known you to forget anything, Mrs. Cillian, you’re one of my most focused and organized students.” She said suspiciously.

Cassandra flushed nervously, and everyone was staring at her now. “W-well, uh, everyone has their off days, Mrs. Laurens.” She stammered quickly. Mrs. Laurens nodded, satisfied.

“Alright, then. Be quick about it.” The woman said, waving her off. Cassandra scurried out of the health classroom and into the hall, and walked quickly. She pulled out her phone and texted Ezekiel again. She felt her gut twist all around. She didn’t want him to get in trouble, she was sure she could get through to him. But where would he be? Where would a self proclaimed criminal hideout while skipping class? Maybe she should--

Her thoughts were cut off by a familiar voice from behind her. She froze in her tracks. 

“Brain Bomb? Is that you?” A slick, sneering voice called. A few girlish giggles followed the voice. Cassandra felt her heart sink to her stomach. She wanted to run away, but her feet wouldn’t let her. Suddenly, they were surrounding her in a sort of semicircle. They all had long, pretty, straight hair, and had their hands on their hips. Despite their expensive makeup, their faces hide a sinister intent. Akin to a pack of wolves bearing down on their prey. Cassandra felt her heart speed up and she turned her back towards the lockers, backing up slightly.

“H-hi, Lily...I, uh, I’d appreciate it a lot if you didn’t call me that…” Cassandra tried to say calmly, in a polite fashion. She was supposed to stand up for herself, but she didn’t want to cause any trouble. Maybe they would leave her alone.

“Call you what? Brain Bomb? What else should I call you? Bald spot, Biopsy, Dead Girl Walking?” Lily asked, tilting her head with a fake pout. Cassandra flinched at every word, and back up until her back hit the wall. The girls only got closer, Lily like an alpha, leading them into corner the kill. 

“Why does she even bother coming to school? It’s just a bother to everyone. We should tell the administration that it’s a distraction to our learning environment, always waiting for this freak to have a seizure or some fucked up shit.” Lily’s best friend, Amanda, snarled. Cassandra kept her eyes downcast, heart hammering as she tried to hold back tears. Why here, why now? She wished Jake would come looking for her, get them to go away and hold her like he always did. She should be able to save herself but she couldn’t even find the will to breathe.

“Please, I’ve never done anything to you, can I-I just-” She tried to pipe up, but was viciously cut off. Lily slammed her hand into the lockers next to Cassandra, making her flinch again.

“You little freak, don’t pretend you're all perfect and innocent. You stole my fucking boyfriend. You ruined this school’s chance at the fucking championship last year by getting Jake to quite the team. For what, fucking book club? You think you can just come in here and do whatever you want just because you’ve got a tumor in your head? Newsflash, freak. Nobody gives a fuck about it, or about you. Why don’t you just drop dead already, you fucking whore?” Lily demanded viciously. Cassandra opened and closed her mouth, unable to form words to try and fight against the lies, but the only thing that came out of her were tears. Lily pulled back, and her and all her friends began to laugh. 

“I think we should--” Lily started to declare to the group, when a body bumped into her, and then took off running. Lily stumbled, and then patted her back pocket as she spun around. Her face contorted in outrage, and all her little henchman spun around too. 

“It’s that fucking squinty-eyed criminal douchebag from yesterday! He stole my fucking wallet!” Lily screeched, rushing to run after him, and all the girls followed in a flock of outraged yelling.

Cassandra looked up to see Ezekiel flashing back a grin as he sprinted around the corner, the girls a few feet behind him. Then, they were all gone, and Cassandra was alone in the hallway. She stared after them, and the reached a shaky hand up to try and wipe away her tears, taking a view deep breathes like Jake always told her too. 

“You really came looking for me?” Asked a voice from behind, and she yelped as she whirled around, startled. Ezekiel was standing there, leaning against the lockers, looking winded. She blinked at him.

“You did that on purpose, to save me, didn’t you?” She asked, realization dawning on her.

“I asked you first. And I don’t think it’s really something you can call _saving_ , it was as good an excuse to fuck with that bitch as any. I mean, talk about spoiled racist bitches. I guess they’ve got those everywhere you go.” Ezekiel shrugged, and then held up a pink clutch wallet with a grin.

Cassandra pursed her lips and nodded, using her sleeve to wipe the last of her tears away. Ezekiel’s grin fell a little, and he suddenly looked awkward.

“So, uh....I heard a lot of that. Was everything she said true?” Ezekiel asked, rocking back on his heels. Cassandra looked down, shaking her head.

“Her and Jake never really dated. He was only friends with that crowd because that’s what everyone expected of him, and he was always dodging her, he’s always hated her. She’s just...well, like that.” 

“And...what she said about the tumor thing?” Ezekiel asked, wincing but not stopping the question from leaving his mouth. Curiosity killed the cat.

Cassandra shrugged, swallowing past a lump in her throat, and looked up to give him a sad smile. “Yeah. But I’ve got years, don’t worry. Unlike you, if Baird finds you skipping. Would you please come back with me? I promise, the classes aren’t that bad.” She asked. Ezekiel gave her a skeptical look.

“All classes are bad.” He replied matter of factly. “School is prison, and I learn everything I need to on my own.” 

Cassandra nodded, giving him a look that made it seem like she could see right through him.

“Is that what you’re used to? Being on your own?” She asked softly. Ezekiel seemed taken aback by the question. His face slipped for a moment, but he quickly covered it up with a laugh.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” He replied with a grin. Cassandra smiled, knowing the real answer. Then she held out her hand.

“Well, I promise, the sentence doesn’t seem that long when you’ve got people to spend it with. Learning isn’t that tedious when you’ve got people to do it with. Why don’t you give it a shot?” She asked. Ezekiel hesitated, glancing behind him, before he seemed to sag a little. Then he puffed up his chest and took her hand with a suave smile.

“Why not? Not the best use of my time, but it’s certainly not the worst.” He said dismissively. Cassandra nodded to his other hand.

“Could you leave the wallet there? If she doesn’t find it, someone else will. Just because she sucks doesn’t mean you should take her stuff.” Cassandra said.

“That’s exactly what it means.” Ezekiel protested. Cassandra didn’t reply verbally, just stared him in the eyes until he sighed and tossed the pink wallet on the floor. Cassandra smiled in excitement and pulled him after her, and they headed down the hall. Ezekiel glanced over his shoulder, at the wallet on the floor, with a troubled expression. If Cassandra noticed it, she didn’t ask.

\------------------------------------------

“What took you so long, Mrs. Cillian? Did you find what you were looking for?” Mrs. Laurens asked when they returned to class, eyeing Ezekiel as he took the seat next to Cassandra.

“I did, thank you. This is Ezekiel, by the way. He got lost, this is only his second day.” Cassandra introduced, and Ezekiel forced a smile at the woman. She nodded with a suspicious expression, and turned to mark something on the attendance. Jake turned to lean across Cassie’s desk, looking over her face with concern. 

“Were you crying?” He whispered, and then he whipped to give Ezekiel a suspicious glare. “Did you make her cry?” He demanded, in more of a whisper yell. Cassandra opened her mouth to tell Jake what had happened, but an affronted Ezekiel got there first.

“I didn’t do shit, mate. Your spoiled psychotic girlfriend and her bloodthirsty lackies made her cry.” Ezekiel snapped back at him. Jake leaned back a little in confusion.

“I don’t--”

“I told you, Lily and him never dated, she’s just intense. And you shouldn't use psychotic like that, it’s harmful to people who are actually mentally ill.” Cassandra told Ezekiel. Jake’s face fell.

“Shit, Lily again? I’m really getting tired of her shit. I’m so sorry Cassie, I know it’s my fault.” Jake said apologetically to her, rubbing his temple. Cassandra gave him a tilted head and a knowing smile.

“You know it’s not. I--” She started to say, but was cut off by Mrs. Laurens standing up.

“Alright, class! If you could please turn to page thirty in the book, we’re going to be talking about the nervous system today, and the test will be on Friday, so don’t feel afraid to take you books home and study!” She announced. This was followed by the sound of everyone muttering to each other and opening their books. Ezekiel leaned back in his chair and ran a hand through his hair, trying to seem casual even though he felt awkward and out of place. He didn’t belong here, so he wasn’t going to bother asking where he was supposed to get a book. The teacher was preoccupied with another student, anyway. 

Why had he let himself be pulled into actually going to class? He’d made plans for today, and they certainly hadn’t included that. What was Baird going to think when she found out he actually attended his classes today, like she told him to? He shuddered to think of it. 

He was pulled out of his thoughts by Cassandra’s voice. He turned to look at her. She was pushing her open text book between them. 

“Wanna share? You can check one out at the library after school, since you’re gonna be there anyways.” She said with a smile. Ezekiel momentarily considered telling her no, because he didn’t want to bother. But the last thing he wanted to do was upset her or shut her down when she was trying to be nice, after she’d been crying so badly in the hallway. He sat up straighter in his desk and looked down at the book, and Cassandra moved her finger under the lines as she explained what it was talking about in hushed excitement. The things she was saying were going straight over Ezekiel’s head, so he just nodded like he was paying attention and glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.

It was funny, she was prettier than any of those girls who had been cornering her. He blinked to himself in surprise. Where had that come from? Well, it was true. He flicked his eyes down at the book, but soon he was looking back up at Cassandra. There was something extremely likeable about her excitement, her enthusiasm, her focus. She was in a whole other world than him, but at least he got to admire her from his. He felt a strange warmth, and everything she was saying all melted together, and all he could hear was his own heartbeat. 

And then, as suddenly as it came, it was snatched away as his mind started to work against him. He remembered the way Cassandra and Jake acted around each other, how they were practically joined at the hip. How protective Jake was of her. How she talked about him as if she knew him better than anyone. How Lily and the others blamed Cassandra for ruining Lily’s chances with Jake, as if they were convinced that Jake and Cassandra were…

They were a thing. It was obvious, he’d known it the first time he met them. He shoved the feeling that had brushed against him momentarily away.

There wasn’t any room for that in him, anyways. The only person who he liked was himself, because he was the only one who bothered to do it. Better to stick to that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Come see me at queerseth.tumblr.com!
> 
> Shout out to saph for beta-ing my stuff and being my best friend ~


	7. out of the cage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezekiel is troubled by his own conflicting emotions when Baird has to stay home sick, and a last ditch act of defiance leads him to meet Stumpy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soundtrack:  
> http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/home-is-where-the-heart-is

The next few days went a little more according to plan. He managed to skip out on a few classes, which earned him more detention time. But he stayed in the ones he had with Cassandra. Well, Cassandra and Jake. Those two were inseparable, as much as it made a part of Ezekiel want to shrivel up. But he pushed that away. He had better things to focus on. 

It was the end of his first week, and he went downstairs, expecting to get another Baird Lecture about his recent behavior. What he found instead, however, was Baird bent over coughing into her sleeve, her usually solid stance shaking and frail. Ezekiel froze in the doorway of the kitchen, suddenly unsure. Eve sensed his presence and immediately straightened up, turning and giving him what was obviously a brave face.

“Are you ready to go?” She asked, and her voice was scratchy. She had noticeable bags under her eyes. 

“You’re sick.” Ezekiel stated bluntly. Eve sighed, shoulders sagging.

“It’s just a cold, Ezekiel. I took some Dayquil and chugged a coffee, I’ll be fine by no--” She started to declare, but then another round of coughing cut her off. She seemed to stumble back against the kitchen counter, as if she was dizzy. Before Ezekiel knew it he was moving forward to hold her steady. She blinked up at him drowsily, and then shook her head.

“Let me just take some Alka-Seltzer-” She started to say, but Ezekiel cut her off.

“I’m pretty sure they can survive one day without you. You should rest. I can walk.” Ezekiel said with a raised eyebrow. Eve gave him a strange look, and opened her mouth, and Ezekiel narrowed his eyes at her.

“It’s not a very good example to set, pushing yourself to the brink instead of putting your health first.” Ezekiel said slyly. Eve sighed, and rolled her eyes.

“You’d make a good lawyer.” She said with a sigh as she nodded, turning towards the living room. He put a hand to his chest.

“You don’t have to insult me!” He said with a tone of being offensive that was only half faked. 

“So, I guess I’ll stay home today, and get some rest. Can you please at least go to school, instead of walking somewhere else? I’ll call it in that I’m not coming in, and that you’ll be a bit late. And please, please, just make it a bit.” Eve said in an exhausted tone. Something unfamiliar wrenched in Ezekiel’s stomach as he watched Eve collapse onto the couch. He turned and headed up the stairs, ignoring her call as to why. He grabbed a pillow and blanket off of Eve’s bed, and headed downstairs. She gave him an expression he didn’t recognize as he set the pillow and blanket next to her.

“You seem dizzy, you probably shouldn’t be walking up those stairs while you're alone. I guess I’ll get going now, see you later. Try not to choke on your own vomit or anything like that, who would pay for my pizza?” Ezekiel said, flashing her a smile before he turned and headed out the door. He didn’t look back, and locked the door behind him. As he started down the steps and down the road, he took in a breath of fresh air. He weighed his options as he walked. Today opened up a lot of opportunities. Wouldn’t it be stupid of him, not to take advantage of this? 

The way Eve had stumbled, and collapsed onto the couch in exhaustion...it ground at something in him, unnerved him, to say the least. It just wasn’t right. Baird was supposed to be strong, and rigid, and invincible. He should probably just leave it be today, actually go to class. The last thing Eve needed was another disappointing call from the school right now. 

He frowned to himself, feeling strange about the decision. Then he shrugged it away and walked faster. 

\-------------------

“Ezekiel? Are you alright?” Asked a voice, drawing him out of his thoughts. He turned and blinked at Cassandra, who was cocking her head at him. He red beanie stuck out like a red thumb in his field of vision.

“What? Why?” He asked. 

“Because the bell rung two minutes ago, and you haven’t moved a muscle.” Answered Flynn, who was leaning against his desk and spinning a ball in his hand. Ezekiel blinked, looking around. Most of the other students in his History class were already out the door. Ezekiel felt like he’d just woken out of a daze.

“Just distracted, no big deal.” He said, and started to put his notebooks back in his satchel. 

“Distracted by Eve being sick?” Flynn asked, a strange look in his eyes. Ezekiel scrunched up his features.

“Don’t project your feelings on me, Lover Boy. I’m sure she’d love a visit from you.” Ezekiel said, standing and slinging the bag over his shoulder. Jake and Cassandra snickered, and Flynn sputtered.

“I-I don’t, it’s not - oh, just get to class, you three.” He said dismissively, turning away. Ezekiel rolled his eyes and headed for the door, pleased he’d managed to change the subject so well.

“So, I work as an office assistant second period.” Cassandra said as they started to walk down the hall. Ezekiel raised an eyebrow.

“So?” He asked. 

“ _So,_ Mrs. Clarke in attendance says this is the first day you’ve attended every single class. So far, at least. Although, you mostly skip morning classes. The ones you don’t have with us.” Cassandra announced, with a smug expression, as if she knew more than he did.

Ezekiel felt himself stiffen, but forced it away. 

“Hey, hey. Don’t go acting like you know my plans. I have a very important deal that might be shaping up, so don’t be surprised if I’m not there sixth period.” He said in his defense. Jake snorted, and Ezekiel shot him a glare.

“Oh, that snort wasn’t directed at you. I have no doubt you’ll find someway to ruin the day.” Jake said with a huff. Ezekiel opened his mouth to reply, and then he shut it again and looked in front of them instead of at either of them. He didn’t know what he was feeling, or what he should be offended by. He just shoved it away. He had more important things to focus on. 

\---------------

Finally, the day was over. He had been distracted and uncomfortable the whole time. Conflicted, about things he didn’t want to admit he was conflicted about. Talk about an off day. He’d almost considered skipping sixth just to prove a point, but he somehow hadn’t been able to bring himself to do it. He didn’t want to think about the look Cassandra had given him when he’d walked in the door on time. He _really_ didn’t want to think about the way it made his stomach flip.

As he walked out the gates of the tennis courts on the far east of the school, he shuddered at the cold. It had seemed warmer on his walk this morning, that was weird. He pulled out a pair of full gloves and tugged them over the tight black fingerless leather ones he wore every day. Then he pulled his hood up and stuck his hands in his pockets. 

As he walked down the busy street that the school resided on, he couldn’t help but get lost in thought. He liked what he had chosen to do and he didn’t like it. Why should he care what these people thought of him? Then again, image was everything. His reputation was important. Couldn’t have these people start expecting him to be a good guy. He felt a sudden wave of anger, and made a decision. He turned away from the street that lead to ho- Eve’s house, instead turning towards the busy street that he knew lead to a marketing sector of the town. The time ticked by as he walked past houses until he started to reach stores and parking lots. He pushed his doubts away and started to stroll around, casing out the area. It was always a good idea to investigate his surroundings.

It seemed like an hour or more of wandering around before he found an interesting alleyway behind a strip mall. He had been around the game long enough to know you needed to get a feel for even the dirtiest parts of the city.

He moved slowly down the alleyway, eyes glancing this way and that. He kept his steps quiet and stayed on guard. The further he got down the dark alleyway, the more bored he got. He supposed this was a small town, there weren’t as many bums ready to jump you behind every pile of garbage. And boy, were their a lot of piles of garbage back here. He supposed the laziness and wastefulness of cheap rip off franchise stores didn’t change. 

He reached a dead end with two dumpsters pushed together, and he was about to turn back around, when he heard a noise. He froze and whirled around, scanning the area for a threat. Nothing appeared, but soon another noise reached his ears. It sounded like...whimpering. He moved forward, trying to find the source of the noise. He kicked a bag of garbage out of the way and leaned to peer behind the left dumpster. The whimpering got louder, accompanied by scratching noises. Ezekiel fished out his phone and used the flashlight app to see what was back there. 

 

There was a large wire cage, but it was bent half inward. There was a dog, a small dog, trapped in the open part of the cage. There was a padlock around the cage door, but it looked like it was welded and melted over. Who the hell trapped a poor dog in a cage, and then melted it shut and stuck it behind a dumpster? Ezekiel felt an overwhelming anger and sadness overtake him. 

At the sight of him, the dog cowered back against the twisted wires of the cage. He looked like some sort of mutt that was dominantly Beagle. He had matted white, gold and brown fur that looked like it was caked with mud. Or blood. Or both. The most noticeable features where the fact that the dog was missing one of his front legs, and his left eye. The poor thing looked so...afraid.

“It’s alright. I’m gonna get you out of here.” Ezekiel said, trying to make his voice as soothing as possible. He started to review his options. There was no way to pick a lock that was freaking _melted_. 

After a moment of his mind racing, he pulled out his phone. 

_To: Bitchy Cowboy_  
_Do you have wire cutters handy? - 5: 32 PM_

Ezekiel frowned at the three missed calls from Eve, but decided not to respond to them. He waited an anxious five minutes, trying to soothe the dog with meaningless words. Finally, his phone buzzed .

_From: Bitchy Cowboy_  
_I’m not helping you break into anything, stop texting me. - 5:37 PM_

Ezekiel huffed, glancing at the dog and then down at his phone before pressing the _Call_ button. 

“ _What the hell, Jones?_ ” Jake’s voice answered.

“I wouldn’t be calling you if it wasn’t for a good reason, dude. Look, I don’t need wire cutters to commit any crimes. I found a hurt little dog trapped in a cage, and I can’t pick the lock, so I need to cut it off so I can get the poor thing out. Or are you the kind of guy that will leave a poor, defenseless, three legged animal to starve in an alleyway behind a strip mall, hmm?” Ezekiel demanded, hoping the guilt would do the job.

“Jesus Christ you are a weird kid. How do you even - why would you - fuck, whatever, where are you?” Jake demanded in a huff.

“The alleyway behind the strip mall on 8th and Main. The one with the super shady glass blowers shop.” Ezekiel told him. Then he hesitated. “And-and could you come quickly? It’s kinda cold out.” Ezekiel asked, feeling a dread in his stomach all the sudden. 

“Yeah, be there soon. Why were you in an alleyway--” Jake asked in confusion.

“Just bring the damned wire cutters!” Ezekiel exclaimed in exasperation, and hung up. Another three missed calls from Eve, and now one from Cassandra. He frowned. Had Eve called Cassandra? He shook his head and used the flashlight to look at the dog again, trying to keep it out of the thing’s eyes. 

 

“Don’t worry. I’m going to get you out of here.” He assured it again, voice full of a sincerity he had never given another human being. 

It seemed like forever before he heard footsteps at the end of the alleyway. He turned to see Jake creeping forward apprehensively, holding the wire cutters like a weapon.

“I’m the only one back here, dipshit. Hurry up.” Ezekiel called in a whispered yell. Jake made a grumbling noise and moved forward faster, crouching next to Ezekiel.

“Give me the cutters.” Ezekiel demanded. Jake gave him a look.

“Yeah, right. Just let me do it.” He said, trying to fight for access to the opening. Ezekiel stood his ground.

“You’ll scare it!”

“Oh my god, Jones, you called me all the way over here, if you want this done fast just fucking move over!” Jake hissed. Ezekiel stuck out his tongue in indignation, but did as he was told. He moved back, and Jake got down on his belly so he could maneuver himself into the space behind the dumpster. A few moments of whimpering from the dog and grunting from Jake, and Ezekiel heard the clanging sound of breaking metal. Well, clipping metal. However that was phrased.

This was followed by a few moments of Jake trying to lure the dog into his arms in a hushed tone before Ezekiel heard a defeated sigh come from the other boy. Jake wiggled backwards out of the space and wiped grime off of him with a minor grimace. 

“Well, I’ve got the cage open, but you were right. The thing’s too afraid to come out.” Jake said with wave of his hand. Ezekiel gave Jake a look, and gestured for him to move aside.

“This is why you are a simple farm boy, and I am a world class thief.” Ezekiel declared. Jake scooted aside, but gave him one of his confused and exasperated looks.

“World class thief? Are you freaking kidding me? That’s the most ridiculous, pompous thing I’ve ever heard. Some world class thief, had to call a _simple farmboy_ to open a freaking lock…” Jake ended his words in a mutter as Ezekiel gestured for him to be quiet. Once there was silence, Ezekiel turned to kneel next to the opening. He didn’t try to get into the opening, however, He just craned down to the opening and held up the flashlight on his phone again. The cage door was open, but the dog was still crouched as far away from them as possible. The poor thing was trembling like a leaf.

“Hey, buddy. I told you i’d get you out of here. I won’t try to come back there, I know you don’t want me too. How about you come here, boy? It’s alright, I promise.” He crooned softly, offering the dog a gentle smile as he held his empty palm outright, hoping to show he wasn’t a threat. The dog’s good eye flicked up at his face and his hand, over and over. Ezekiel didn’t move or say anything, knowing that it was a waiting game right now. 

 

After what seemed like an eternity of remaining completely still, the dog started to slowly creep out of the cage and down the small space to the opening. It craned forward hesitantly to sniff at Ezekiel, before scuttling backwards with a growl. Ezekiel didn’t move, and ignored a muffled comment from the other boy behind him. 

The dog moved forward again, sniffing over Ezekiel’s hand, and then moving to sniff and nuzzle at his arm and his leg and torso, before it seemed to relax slowly and lick at his jacket, almost in an excited way. Ezekiel grinned in triumph, slowly putting his phone in his pocket and moving to pet the dog gently, scratching behind his ears. He stayed like that for a little, letting the dog get used to him before he slowly scooped him up and stood. The dog stiffened in his arms, but he scratched it behind the ears again with his hand and whispered reassurances that everything was okay.  


“We better go, I think Officer Baird might call in a SWAT team if you’re any later. I’ll drive you home.” Jake said, watching him with a look in his eyes that Ezekiel didn’t recognize. He didn’t like it.

“Sounds like a plan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! THE POINT OF SALVATION EPISODE RUINED MY LIFE. But it also gave me a really good idea that I think it's still early enough to properly integrate into the story.


	8. broken things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezekiel gets a little more emotional than he intended, and immediately regrets it.

Jake’s truck had a shitty paint job and was caked in mud along the bottom, but the inside was clean and tasteful. On the outside it looked like any old orange hick truck, but on the inside it was a little less cringe worthy. Ezekiel awkwardly crawled into the passenger seat while trying to cradle the dog in his arms still. Jake hopped in and soon they were pulling out of the parking lot of the strip mall. Ezekiel focused on the dog in his arms, trying to keep him calm and warm in his arms.

“I’ll call him Stumpy.” Ezekiel suddenly declared.

“You can’t call a three legged dog _Stumpy_. That’s just - that’s just insensitive.” Jake exclaimed in protest.

Ezekiel rolled his eyes over to give Jake a smug look. “So? It’s appropriate. I found him first, I get to name him.” 

“Do you even know how to take care of a dog?” Jake demanded.

“What makes you say that? Who doesn’t?” Ezekiel asked.

“People who only seem to want to take care of themselves. Besides, do you really think Baird is gonna let you keep it when you’re nothing but irresponsible? When you’re her responsibility and the one day she trusted you to do the right thing, you ran off and she’s been calling everyone in a panic? What the fuck were you doing out here, anyways?” Jake demanded.

Ezekiel felt anger rise up his throat, and guilt settle in his gut. “I had business to take care of. I don’t have to answer to you!” He scrambled to say.

Jake gave a harsh laugh. “Yeah, sure. But you do have to answer to her. She’s a good, kind, hard working woman. She cares about you, for some reason I don’t understand. Cassandra wants you around too, which I also don’t get. But the only thing you care about is yourself!” He snapped. Ezekiel felt like recoiling from the words, but he just sat up straighter.

“The only person who’s ever cared about me is _me_ , so sorry if I’m a little overzealous about it!” He snarled back in a lash of sudden emotion. He immediately regretted his words, because they spoke too much and not enough. Jake glanced over at him, and Ezekiel swallowed past a lump in his throat and tried to make sure his face didn’t betray him.

“You shouldn’t talk about things you don’t understand! If you really have such a fucking problem with me you didn’t have to come all the way out here! But I guess it’s just that _Southern Hospitality_ , coming to do someone a favor and then insulting them the whole time. Didn’t your mother teach you to be kind to your neighbors or some biblical bullshit value like that?” Ezekiel said, hoping to match Jake’s judgemental tone. 

Jake’s jaw clenched, and his knuckles went white as he tightened his grip on the steering wheel. His expression changed, and he was glaring at the road with a fire that suddenly made Ezekiel afraid. 

“My mother didn’t teach me anything, thank you very much. I came to help the dog, not you.” Jake ground out, not bothering to glance over at Ezekiel anymore. Ezekiel felt like he had hit a nerve, and didn’t know how to feel about the situation in general. He looked away, sinking back into the seat and gently stroking his gloved hand over Stumpy’s head. He wasn’t sure if the motion was to soothe himself or the dog.

“Look, Jones…” Jake’s voice spoke up, at a lower octave this time. Gentler, but still tight. Ezekiel wasn’t sure what was worse. “Cassandra cares a lot about you, she has a lot of faith in you. And she has a habit of seeing the best in people. Usually before they see it. So I wanna have faith in you too. I care about Cassandra a lot, and I respect Baird a lot. And I have a _problem_ with people that don’t respect others, or take any responsibility for anything. Rubs me the wrong way. I don’t trust you, because you don’t give anybody a reason to trust you. If you hurt Cassandra, you’ll regret it.” Jake said firmly. Usually, Ezekiel would brush a threat like that off. But Jake’s calm tone of voice made his mouth go dry.

“That being said, you can’t be a completely horrible person if you go to so much trouble to help a dog, so maybe Cassandra’s right. I’m not as easy to convince.” Jake finished. Ezekiel didn't quite know how to respond to all that, so he went with instinct. Hard earned, painfully learned instinct.

“I’m not trying to convince anyone of anything. I don’t care what you lot think, sorry to break it to you.” Ezekiel huffed. Jake shook his head.

“Whatever. Regardless, I doubt Baird’s gonna let you keep it. I’m glad we saved it, though. It could have died of starvation or hyperthermia back there. Some people in this world are real monsters, doing shit like that to animals and kids and their partners. Makes me sick.” Jake muttered.

Ezekiel found himself nodding, looking back down to the animal in his lap. He paused in his petting, and turned his hand up towards him, curling his fingers slowly into a fist to cover his palm. Which was already covered in two layers of gloves, but his mind’s eye saw differently.

“Yeah, me too.” He agreed, going back to petting Stumpy after a moment of thought. 

\-------------------------------

They pulled up to Baird’s house, and before Ezekiel could even finish trying to get out of the car without dropping Stumpy, Eve was in front of him. Her expression was fiery and she seemed to tower above him, even though she was obviously still sick and dizzy. He froze in sudden fear, and Stumpy stiffened in his arms and began to tremble.

“Where were you? Why didn’t you answer the phone? Why - why do you have a _dog_?” Eve’s tone changed from angry demands to genuine confusion, and she furrowed her brow at the animal in his arms. He opened his mouth, trying to fight through the sudden fear to respond. He wasn’t even all the way out of the passenger set yet.

Before he could reply, Jake was standing next to Eve. “He found it trapped behind a dumpster in a cage, and he had me come get it out. It’s obviously been abused, it probably would have died back there if Ezekiel hadn’t saved it.” 

Ezekiel turned his head slightly to stare at Jake in confusion. Jake had just ranted about responsibilities and morals the whole ride, why was he jumping to his defense now?

The rigidness in Eve’s frame melted a little, and she rubbed the back of her neck.

“That’s why you were gone? Why didn’t you call?” Eve asked.

Ezekiel tried to come up with a response that wasn’t a lie, but wasn’t the truth. He was usually good at instantly dishing those out, but he felt out of his depth at the moment.

“I, uh, my phone was on mute. I was distracted. I went for a walk to clear my head because I wasn’t feeling good and I guess I got sidetracked.” He said as way of an explanation. Eve raised a suspicious eyebrow.

“Are you sick, too?” She asked.

“No, I don’t think so. Just had an...off day. Can we go inside? I need to wash Stumpy off and see if he’s hurt.” Ezekiel asked, sliding out of the seat and walking around Eve. 

“ _Stumpy_? Why would you name it that?” Eve asked.

“Cause it’s missing a leg.” Jake explained.

“That’s not a good name, that’s horrible! Besides, you shouldn’t be naming it, we can’t keep it!” Eve called after him. Ezekiel froze. He had only gotten a few feet away from them.

“Seriously? The poor things traumatized, it needs food and a clean bath right now, and you’re just gonna toss it out?” Ezekiel asked, spinning around to face them. He felt a suddenly steel holding him, a solidness in his bones he was all too familiar with. Eve shook her head, putting her hands out.

“Jesus, no, nothing like that. I’m not heartless. We can wash it up, check it out, and give it some food and rest. But we’re taking it down to the shelter in town in the morning. We just can’t keep a dog, without a lot of work, and I’m really more of a cat person.” Eve explained. Jake nodded, as if this was a perfectly sound argument. But Ezekiel felt an overwhelming mix of emotions rise up to take hold of him. He pulled Stumpy closer to his body, as if to protect him.

“No! Nobody’s going to want him! He’ll waste away in a pen until he dies!” Ezekiel protested, with more intensity in his voice than he normally allowed. Eve’s expression twisted.

“Jones, come on, have a little faith. Lots of people would--” She started to say, but Ezekiel cut her off, taking a step closer.

“No! Don’t be so _naive_. Nobody wants broken things, Baird. That’s just how the world works. All anybody’s gonna see is what’s wrong with him, and nobody’s ever going to want him, unless it’s to hurt him again, or throw him out again.” Ezekiel felt his voice break a little, and he clenched his jaw to fight against the frighteningly strong feelings that had escaped him.

Eve and Jake were staring at him, seemingly shocked by his outburst. Then Eve’s expression changed, and it turned into that soft, distant look that he could never figure out. He hated it.

“Ezekiel, this isn’t just about the dog, is it?” She asked, in a gentle voice that made him want to turn and run. Instead, he leaned back, screwing his face up in confusion.

“What? Of course it is.” He said, all too quickly. It gave them all the answer they needed. Jake cleared his throat and turned towards his truck.

“I better go home, I'll see you guys later.” He said. Eve turned to watch him turn away, and Ezekiel felt frozen, waiting for her verdict. How he would respond to it, he didn’t know yet. 

Once Jake was out of view, Eve turned back to him. She still had that look, and he didn’t like it one bit.

“Do you really think you can properly take care of it - of Stumpy?” She asked.

“Of course.” Ezekiel nodded, not _sure_ why he was so sure. Eve sighed, and started to walk towards him.

“Okay, you can keep him. But I expect you to take care of it, do you understand? If I decide you aren’t taking good enough care of him, I will find him a better home. Not a shelter, but another home.” She said sternly. He nodded, and she lead him inside. 

“We should give him a bath, I think we can use normal shampoo for now.” Eve said as she shut the door behind him. Ezekiel was about to follow her up to the bathroom, when he hesitated, his mind racing with a realization. He cleared his throat, and Eve turned to look at him.

“I can wash him, you should rest. I’m sure that my...being late stressed you out a lot.” He suggested.

Eve rolled her eyes. “Giving a dog a bath isn’t going to take me down, Jones.”

“Well, you want to have the best chance of going to work tomorrow, don’t you? Besides, I think he’s still a bit scared of you, and the bath is gonna be scary enough.” Ezekiel reasoned. Eve gave him a skeptical look. Then she nodded.

“Alright, I’ll lay down for a bit, and take more medicine. Call me if you need me. Once you're done, we'll give him some lunch meat, since we don’t have any dog food. We’ll get some in the morning.” She agreed. 

Ezekiel carried the dog up the stairs and into the bathroom, and carefully set him in the bathtub. Stumpy stood up and started to sniff around, licking at the sides of the bathtub curiously before he made a small noise that sounded somewhat like a yip, but not quite so high pitched. Ezekiel turned and pulled shampoo out of the rack hanging from the shower head, and put it on the edge of the bathtub where he could reach it. He reached over and locked the bathroom door, just to be safe, before he took off his two layers of gloves and set them on the counter. His jacket came next, and he pulled his lanyard that he always wore under his shirt over his head. It had a usb that he guarded with his life, a key to the house, and a few other keys he probably wasn’t supposed to have. 

Then he rolled up his sleeves and kneeled next to the bathtub, where Stumpy was trying to get his paw up in the edge, as if to hoist himself up. Ezekiel pet his head and gently put him back down, trying to keep him calm and preoccupied while he reached over and started a little bit of water. Stumpy started at the sound and scrambled back a little, and Ezekiel made a shushing noise as he adjusted the water to a lukewarm temperature and plugged the drain. Then he turned all his attention to the dog, petting him and scratching behind his ears as he waited for the tub to fill to an acceptable point. 

Stumpy calmed a little and started to nuzzle his hands, turning and rubbing his good side against the raised burn scars on Ezekiel’s palms. Ezekiel found himself smiling softly, but his thoughts were troubled.

“I'm not staying here, and I can't well bring a dog with me…” He said out loud in a slow, thoughtful tone. Stumpy flicked an ear at his voice, and cocked his little head. 

“I think I’ll stick around to take care of you until I'm sure one of the others has fallen for you enough. Once I'm sure they won't boot you out once I'm gone, then I'll leave. That probably means I'll be here longer than I’d like, but you're worth it, aren't you, Stumpy?” Ezekiel said in a resigned voice, rubbing under the dog's chin. The action earned a pleased noise from the dog. 

“Then again, you're cute and sweet. Maybe not that long. I'm sure they'll see past the outside image soon enough. Which is a good thing in your case, not in my case.” Ezekiel added, brow furrowing in distress. “Today was way too emotional. I better work hard to make sure I don't regret it. I guess it really was an odd day.” 

The water finally came up to Stumpy’s chest, so Ezekiel leaned over and turned the valves off. Then he squirted a little bit of shampoo in his hand and started to splash water gently over the dog, rubbing and scrubbing the mud and grime out of his fur as best as he could. Stumpy seemed to enjoy the treatment a lot, actually. After a while, his fur was sudsy and clean, and the water was dark and murky. 

Then he turned the shower handle on, but kept it at a low pressure. He pulled the plug on the tub and rinsed Stumpy off as it drained. Then he pulled on his gloves, lanyard and jacket before pulling Stumpy up and wrapping him in a towel. He moved his arms to rub the dog down with the towel while he cradled him, smiling as Stumpy barked happily and squirmed against the towel as he shook the water out of his ears.

“Yeah, you’re worth sticking around a little longer.”


	9. the dog days are over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezekiel catches Baird's cold, but that's just the tip of the iceberg.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOUNDTRACK: http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/home-is-where-the-heart-is
> 
> (I really need to figure out how to hyperlink in notes)

Ezekiel woke up with a groggy groan, his throat dry and aching as he sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes. He frowned as he flinched against the light, and then leaned back in bed when the world started to spin.

Shit.

His head felt like it was full of mush that was forcibly trying to escape his skull. It had been a long time since he’d been sick. He turned his head and reached for his phone, squinting at the lock screen. Then he looked down at the bed. Stumpy had been sleeping by his feet last night, where did he go? Ezekiel looked around the room, and discovered the small dog was curled up on the window seat. Well, at least one of them looked like they had gotten a good sleep. 

“Hey, Jones, I’m feeling a bit better today, so how about we go early so we can grab stuff for the dog?” Eve’s voice approached from down the hallway, and was followed by a terse knock on the door. Ezekiel blinked, and sat back up.

“Uh, sure, just let me--” He tried to reply, his voice scratchy and raw. He was cut off by a sudden fit of coughing, and before he knew it Eve was through the door at his side, brushing his hair out of his face and putting a hand on his back. He flinched away from her, and she froze. He tried to say something to cover it up, something sarcastic and confident probably, but he was cut off by a painful cough and then a groan. 

“Looks like I passed on the curse, I’m sorry. But it feels like it’s passing quickly.” She said, trying to be helpful. 

“As quickly as it hit me…” Ezekiel muttered bitterly. He hated being sick.

“Well, I guess that scratches going to school. Maybe we can still go to the store though. At least, I can, and then come back.” She speculated. He blinked up at her.

“You don't need to stay for me, I'll be fine.” He replied. Eve gave him a look.

“I can't leave you alone like this.” She said. Ezekiel felt a prickle of anger.

“Yeah, right. Can't trust me to be left alone.” Ezekiel agreed, his tone a little bitter. He regretted it the minute he said it- he was supposed to be untrustworthy. That was the point.

Eve pursed her lips and gave him an exasperated expression. “Well, there's that. But mostly, I can't leave you alone all day because it's my job to take care of you.” She corrected. He didn't look up at her, but his throat clenched up weirdly. It was probably just the sickness.

Probably.  
“I'm going to get some medicine and some vitamins, and some water for you. You just lay back, okay?” She instructed, turning towards the door. He did as she sad, feeling strange as he watched her walk out the door, knowing she would come back.

\-----------

Cassandra slid into Jake’s passenger seat, turning to smile at the other boy. 

“It’s Friday!” She exclaimed in excitement. Jake smiled back at her as he pulled onto the street, turning to look at the road. As he did so, he was still smiling, but it was a tight expression. Cassandra narrowed her eyes in suspicion. She’d gotten very good at reading Jacob Stone, and he knew it. Frankly, she was a little exasperated he still thought she couldn’t tell. But these things took time, she knew. 

_Time you don’t have,_ whispered a voice that she tried to ignore. 

“What’s wrong?” She asked aloud, cocking her head at the boy. For someone her age, he had more worry lines than anyone she knew. For the most part, though, his skin was smooth. And his jaw was so strong...his hair was always so perfect…

She was getting sidetracked, oops, he was about to say something.

“Well, yesterday, you know how Jones didn’t go home and Officer Baird was freaking out and called us?” He started with. Cassandra nodded.

“I didn’t even realize she had our numbers, but it’s Officer Baird, so she can probably get anybody’s number. She texted and said that everything was fine, do you know what happened?” She asked in concern, worry sketched in her features over the Australian boy.

“Yeah, he called me out of the blue and had me bring him wire cutters in the middle of town, so he could get this dog out of a cage from behind a dumpster. Some asshole obviously screwed the thing up, it was missing a leg and an eye, and the damn cage was bent in and melted shut. It was fucked up.” Jake told her, voice heated in outrage. Cassandra’s eyes widened.

“That’s horrible! I can’t believe someone would do that! Is it okay?” She asked.

“Yeah, we got it out and took it back to Baird’s. Man, she wanted to help it, but she didn’t want to let him keep it. But he was like _really_ intense about it. Like, Cassie, it was kinda awkward I was there because it was kinda a private moment between them I think. Especially after I’d just argued him the whole ride home. Just, all this stuff happened and I really…” Jake stumbled through his words, and sighed with a distant expression on his face. Cassandra scooted closer, eyes wide.

“Tell me! Something’s on your mind, I can tell.” She begged. Jake glanced over at her and then back at the road. Then he told her about what Ezekiel had said about how nobody wants broken things and what not, and the obvious connotations behind it. Cassandra dug her fingernails into her palms.

“I knew it. I told you! But still...it’s sad. I’m glad he has Baird, I think if anyone can help him, it’s her.” Cassandra said, leaning back in her seat. Cassandra glanced over at him.

“You like him more now, don’t you?” She asked smugly. Jake huffed.

“I never hated him, I just didn’t trust him, I wasn’t a fan of how he acted. I’m still not.” He replied

“Buuuuut…” She prompted. He shot her a stern look, and sighed. He pulled into the school parking lot and parked the truck before he replied.

“I still don’t trust him. But I will concede that you were right about all that facade stuff. I respect whatever the hell he’s got going on, I guess, but I still don’t like him. I seriously doubt whatever he’s been through is a good enough excuse to act the way he does, it’s not all an act, you know he genuinely enjoys it.” He said. Cassandra rolled her eyes, and went to reply, when her phone buzz. She made a squeak of excitement and scrambled to pull it out.

“It’s Ezekiel, speak of the devil!” She announced. Then her eyes flicked over the message, and she frowned. 

“He says he’s sick and won’t be here today. That’s sad, Friday is the best day! They actually have good pizza, and he loves pizza, talk about bad luck.” 

“Sick. Sure.” Jake grumbled suspiciously. Cassandra tilted her head.

“I’m sure he caught whatever Baird has. That must suck, they're both sick, and they have a new pet to take care of…I know! We should stop by Alberto’s after school and get them a pizza and some soup!” She exclaimed, as if a lightbulb had popped up over her head. “I’ll pay, don’t worry!”

 

Jake climbed out of the driver’s side and grabbed his backpack off the floor, turning to her as he slung it over his shoulder. He saw the excited look on her face, and seemed to cave. 

“Okay, we’ll grab them something to eat later. But if he’s not there and Baird is steaming, I reserve the right to say _I told you so_. “ Jake announced. 

\------------------------------------------

By the end of the day, Cassandra was feeling pretty smug.  
“It doesn’t mean anything, we don’t know what we’re gonna find.” Jake attempted to maintain as they climbed into his truck. Cassandra just kept smiling.

“Eve would have called us again if something happened, and it’s been all day without a peep.” She pointed out. Jake had to admit that her logic was sound. Cassandra’s logic was always sound, even if it was in the midst of one of her episodes.

“Which street do I take to Armano’s again? Oscar or Riverside?” He asked. Cassandra made a little movement with her hands and her eyes flicked over the information that was floating in the air in front of her, the things only she could see.

“Take Oscar, then take a left at Riverside and follow it till you take a right on Bronze.” She instructed. “And watch out for the protected left on Bronze, nobody pays it any mind.” She added. Jake nodded as he pulled into the line of student vehicles waiting to exit the parking lot. The occasionally cast a glance over at her, watching her type something into her phone. Her phone case was red, nearly matching the beanie she always wore. His mind instantly followed to the reason she wore the beanie, and he felt a familiar pang of sadness. He turned his eyes back to the road.

\-----------

“How did you know what kind of pizza he likes?” Jake asked as he pulled up to the curb outside of Eve’s place. Cassandra got out of the passenger side door, then turned around and grabbed the pizza box.

“I notice things. And I guessed on the soup, I hope they like it. Will you grab it?” She asked, nodding to the plastic container. Jake did as she asked, and locked the door before slamming it. As they walked up the stone pathway to the door, Cassandra’s eyes were flicking this way and that.

“I never thought i’d actually be going to Officer Baird’s house.” She said aside to him. He nodded in agreement.

“It’s a nice place, though. Surprising, though.” He replied. As they came to stand on the porch, she gave him a questioning expression.

“What do you mean by that?” She asked. Jake shrugged.

“I’m not sure what I expected, but a big suburban house for a family of five wasn’t it. I mean, she doesn’t have a family. And her and Carson don’t live together. Yet, anyways.” Jake explained.

Cassandra shrugged, raising her hand to knock on the door. “Maybe she bought the house of her _dreams_ , as opposed to the house of the present. And she’s got a family, now. Even if Ezekiel doesn’t want to admit it yet.” 

Before Jake could reply, the door opened to reveal Officer Baird. She didn’t have any makeup on and her hair was down, but she looked less pale than Jake had seen her yesterday. She smiled at them, and her smile got bigger when she saw the food in their hands.

“You kids are just too nice. Come on in, Ezekiel’s in his room. You might want to keep your distance a bit, I would hate to get you guys sick, too.” She said, stepping aside and inviting them in. Cassandra’s eyes roamed around as they walked inside.

“You’ve got a beautiful home, Officer Baird!” She said politely. 

“I’m off the clock, and you’re in my home, Cassandra. You can call me Eve.” Baird told her with a smile. Cassandra nodded awkwardly.

“Eve. That’s pretty. I mean, you’re pretty, and your name’s pretty-” She started to stammer over herself, and Jake put a hand on her shoulder and smiled at Baird.

“How are you feeling?” He asked. 

“Me, i’m feeling a lot better than yesterday. It’s a quick working kinda thing, I guess. Ezekiel’s feeling thoroughly trashed, though. It was really nice of you to bring this, you didn’t have to.” She said, gesturing at the food. Cassandra shook her head.

“I’ve got more money than i’ll ever get to use in my short lifespan so I don’t really mind.” She said matter of factly. The air in the room turned awkward and tense, and Eve nodded slowly before clearing her throat.

“Well, how about you come set it on the counter and I’ll get plates and bowls, and we can bring some up to Jones? If he had his way we’d bring the whole thing up there, but that’s not going to happen.” Eve said, turning and leading them into the kitchen. They all got a plate of pizza and got a bowl of soup for Ezekiel, and headed up the stairs.

Ezekiel was in bed, surrounded by a frankly ridiculous amount of blankets, with Stumpy curled up at his side while he groggily typed on his laptop. He had bags under his eyes, and his nose was red. His hair was all mussed up and his side table was covered in medicine and cups of various drinks, ranging from tea to gatorade. He blinked over at them in surprise when they entered the room, slowly shutting his laptop and setting it aside.

“Seriously? He has the room... with the window... next to the tree... he can climb down?” Was the first thing Jake said when he entered the room. 

“Are you questioning my judgement?” Eve asked him, raising an eyebrow. Jake’s face immediately fell and he shook his head.

“No. Uh, no, _ma’am._ ” He replied in a more respectful tone. Eve smiled and turned to give Ezekiel a smug, pleased look. Ezekiel rolled his eyes, and turned his attention to the food in their hands.

“Is that…” He started to ask. Cassandra came to stand next to him, setting a plate and bowl on his nightstand next to him.

“Double cheese pepperoni and chicken sausage soup! I hope you like soup, I figured it would be good for, you know, sick people. It’s okay if you don’t though!” She added hastily. Ezekiel reached for the plate, looking down at the pizza with an expression that none of the people in the room understood. Even when he moved that same expression towards them.

“Uh, thank you. I like soup. Thank you, a lot. This was really..nice...of you. You guys are real lifesavers.” Ezekiel told them, voice somewhat strange. As if he wasn’t sure how to express genuine gratitude. 

“Is that Stumpy?” Cassandra asked in an excited tone, pointing to the lump of dog nuzzled under Ezekiel’s arm. When they had come in the room, Stumpy hadn’t freaked out, but he had huddled closer to Ezekiel. 

“Yeah. He’s probably nervous. You can come around and pet him, if you’re careful. Let him sniff you first, though, and try not to move in his blind spot. It freaks him out.” Ezekiel told her around a mouthful of pizza. As Cassandra moved to crouch next to the bed and try to make friends with the dog, Jake sat down on the window seat and took a bite of his own pizza, looking out the window skeptically.

“I went to the store and got some stuff for him, and we’ve been talking about what to do when we’re both gone for the school day, and how to make sure he’s trained. In the non abusive way, of course.” Eve told them, leaning against the doorframe. 

“There’s a doggy daycare obedience training place over by Trenton and Harrison. My friend Lucy’s brother works there. They’ve worked with animals with bad pasts before. I could pay!” Cassandra suggested. Ezekiel furrowed his brow.

“Why would you pay?” He asked.

“Cause she’s rich and too nice for her own good.” Jake piped up from behind her before she could answer. Cassandra shot him a good natured glare, and he shrugged. 

“I speak the truth, Cassie.” He replied. Cassandra sighed and turned back around, scratching behind Stumpy’s ear. 

“Well, yeah, i’ve got a lot of money that I don’t have a lot of time to use.” Cassandra said, glancing up to make eye contact with Ezekiel, who swallowed when he remembered what she was referring too.

“And I really like animals, but my parents never let me have any pets, and I have a feeling if Baird tries to pay out of her pocket Ezekiel will end up stealing things to pay for it so she doesn’t have to, and i’d rather not like that.” Cassandra announced matter of factly. Baird opened her mouth, then stopped, and pursed her lips as she nodded. 

“That is exactly something you would do.” Eve replied, shrugging at Ezekiel. Ezekiel looked offended.

“I-” He said, looking around the room at them as he tried to figure out some arguement. Then he snapped his mouth closed and looked down at his pizza with a grumpy, defeated expression. 

“It wouldn’t be stealing if nobody knew it was gone…” He muttered. Eve shook her head, quirking her mouth to the side.

“No, I think that’s still stealing.” She replied.

They spent another hour talking about things, mostly the dog, before Cassandra and Jake took their leave. Eve watched them pull away thoughtfully before she climbed the stairs again and knocked on Ezekiel’s door.

“Enter at your own risk.” He called, and she rolled her eyes as she poked her head in.

“Get some sleep as soon as you can, try not to stay up on that laptop too long.” She instructed him. He nodded at her, coincidentally not looking up from the screen. She leaned against the doorframe, mind distant.

“Those are some nice friends you’ve got.” She commented. Ezekiel’s hands froze over the keyboard, but he didn’t look up.

“They’re not my friends.” He replied.

“I’m pretty sure coming to help you at the drop of a hat across town, spending time with you, texting you, and bringing you food when you’re sick and then offering to help you raise a dog is a pretty strong pathway to friendship.” Eve countered.

“Cassandra cares about me because she’s naive and cares about everyone. Jake cares because Cassandra cares, and he’s totally in love with her.” Ezekiel said matter of factly, but he had a sour edge to his voice. Eve sighed, and turned away.

A problem for another day, she decided.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come talk to me at queerseth.tumblr.com, I promise I don't bite I love making new friends!
> 
> Happy Holidays, to those who celebrate them! 
> 
> (The next chapter is going to be great, and it might be a bit longer than usual. Stay tuned!)


	10. vulnerable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezekiel and Jake butt heads when left alone. And then get locked in a closet for hours, alone. At first glance, it seems like a funny, if inconvenient situation.
> 
> But there's something far more sinister boiling under the surface, ready to rear it's hideous head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this took way longer than usual! But that's because this chapter is TRIPLE the length of a normal chapter! 
> 
> Sorry for the wait, I hope you all enjoy!

Ezekiel spent the whole weekend getting better, a day or so behind Eve. She was raring to go by Sunday, whereas he was still sniffling a bit. He also spent the whole weekend feeling very conflicted, but he wasn’t sure what about. He just...felt out of place. He figured it was just a combination of the sickness and everyone’s weird behavior. He distracted himself most of the time with movies and Stumpy, seeing which toys he did and didn’t like. Eve and Cassandra set up his spot at the daycare place they’d talked about. Eve had shut him down every time he tried to protest Cassandra paying. Ironic, since he knew for a fact that Cassandra often had to shut Eve down on the matter. It was amusing, the power that the redhead’s stubbornness had over those around her. She got what she wanted when she wanted to, he supposed. 

On the matter of Cassandra, he did his best to ignore the unprecedented feelings he got about the girl. But sometimes he still caught himself with something akin to butterflies in his stomach. Which was just, absolutely unacceptable. Digest that shit, he had better things to do. 

Easier said than done.

 

As Monday rolled around, he was feeling back to himself. Physically, at least. The downside of that was school. And, for some reason, he found himself going to every class. Even the ones he didn’t have with Cassandra. He decided to blame it on the fact he was still fatigued from the cold, and couldn’t be bothered. Not that he payed attention in those classes, however. He got ten more levels into his favorite game on his phone and got a lot of dirty looks from his teachers, so he was feeling pretty smug by the time lunch pulled around.

Cassandra and Flynn were talking about something nerdy, while Jake read something on his phone as he ate. Probably something about sports. Or concrete.

“You can heat up your leftover pizza in the microwave, it’s back there behind the bust of Tesla and the map of Neverland.” Eve told him, pointing with her salad fork behind him. Ezekiel shook his head and leaned back in his chair, putting his feet up on the table.

“Cold pizza is life, Baird. Heating it up is sacrilegious, in my opinion.” He declared, pulling said pizza out of the lunchbox Eve had given him. Jake looked up from his phone to wrinkle his nose at Ezekiel.

“Leftover pizza is good, but you _gotta_ heat it up. How can you eat it cold, the cheese is like freaking wax!” He argued. Ezekiel shot him a genuinely offended look.

“It’s delicious!” He replied.

“It’s like chewing on wet crayons!” Jake spluttered. Ezekiel spun around in his chair, putting his back to Jake.

“Your face is like wet crayons and I can’t look at it anymore.” He said primly, continuing with his cold pizza. Jake made some incomprehensible noise and went back to his phone, and Eve snorted.

“That was a horrible insult.” Flynn commented. Ezekiel shot him a look, and everyone went back to their own business.

The rest of lunch went without noticeable event, and Ezekiel was feeling pretty satisfied with himself by the time the bell rang. He slung his bag over his shoulder and headed out the door after Eve and Cassandra. Jake was close behind him, but a noise caused the two boys to turn their heads.

“Mr. Stone, could I talk to you for a minute?” Flynn asked. Ezekiel took his cue and continued out the door, but found himself sticking around the door. His curiosity got the best of him, and he pressed his back to the wall, turning his ear towards the door.

“Ya wanted to see me, teach?” Jake said good naturedly. Ezekiel could hear shuffling papers.

“Yes, Mr. Stone - Jacob. Can I call you Jake?” Flynn sure did talk fast. Him and Cassandra had that in common.

“We’ve been over this, Mr. Carson.” Jake replied patiently.

“Right, right. Jake it is. Look, Jake - I was recently called by an associate of mine, from Cambridge.” Flynn started to say.

“Well, you’ve got the record for PhD’s, Carson, I don’t see why it’s weird Universities are calling you--” Jake started to say. His voice was nervous, and obviously pretending to be casual.

“The call was regarding you, Jake.” Flynn replied. There was a beat of silence, and Ezekiel frowned to himself in confusion. Why would some bloke from Cambridge be calling about the son of an oil rigger? 

“Look, Jake. I’ve tried to stay in my lane, as you kids would say, over this. But - this is your senior year. You need to start making some decisions, about your future. About what’s best for you.” Mr. Carson said.

“What are you trying to say, sir?” Jake asked, voice tight. 

“Jacob, you could literally be teaching this class. You’re the smartest student I’ve ever met - and not just in my teaching career here. As a professor at multiple universities, even as a student myself - I’ve never met anyone like you. You have an IQ of 190, and you begged your counselor not to tell anyone. You have so much passion, and potential, and intelligence. You could go far - arguably farther than me. Why do you hide it all, why do you pretend to be what you’re not? If you decide to, you could have all the opportunities in the world.” Flynn said, voice sad but hopeful. Ezekiel blinked in shock at the words he was hearing - no fucking way. Cowboy couldn’t be that smart, they must be fucking with each other, it must be a joke.

But he knew it wasn’t.

“Look, Mr.Carson - I’m not that smart, for one thing, I’m shit at science and math. For another, I like my life the way it is, my future is exactly what I want it to be. I’ve got responsibilities to fulfill and I enjoy them, I don’t want the world. I just want what i’ve got, i’m a simple guy. I don’t want attention.” Jake attempted to explain. Flynn sighed.

“Jake, if this is about your father--” He started to say, but he was immediately cut off. 

“With all due respect, Mr. Carson, don’t you say a damn word about my father. This isn’t your business.” Jake snapped lowly, his voice riddled with a sudden authority and tension. There was a long beat of silence, and Ezekiel’s eyes widened. Talk about some juicy drama. This shit was getting heavy, should he hit the road before Jake walked out and saw him? But Jake didn’t sound like he was walking anywhere, and Ezekiel was already invested in this Showtime level stuff, so he might as well stick around a little longer…

“My apologies, Jake. I just - you can talk to me, about anything. Within reason - you know what I mean. I care about you, and your future.” Flynn said, tone more reserved.

“I appreciate the thought. I better, uh, go catch up with Cassandra and Ezekiel before they get into trouble.” Jake said. Ezekiel started at the mention of his name, and then pursed his lips and turned away from the doorway, quickly and quietly making his way down the hall and around the corner.

What the _hell_ was that all about?

\-------------------------

Ezekiel found himself extremely distracted the rest of that day, and well into the next. Finally, he couldn’t take the burning curiosity anymore, and decided to glean more about the situation. The perfect opportunity presented itself in Calculus, which he had with Cassandra, but not with Jake. Which was one thing that did make sense, after the conversation he overheard yesterday.

Ezekiel leaned back in his chair, biting his lip as he turned to look at Cassandra thoughtfully. He waited a moment, thinking over how to start the conversation as he watched her. He liked watching her work, her intense expressions and her zeroed in focus. She looked like she was in a whole other world. Which she might as well be - she had already completed advanced math credits, and was retaking calculus for fun. For _fun_. Ezekiel wasn’t half bad at math, but even that was just ridiculous in his book. But when it came to Cassandra, it could probably be closer classified as ridiculously adorable.

“So, Stone’s kinda a weird guy.” Ezekiel decided to start with. Cassandra jerked slightly as she was pulled away from her train of thought, turning to look at Ezekiel.

“No, he’s not that weird. Well, I think what he thinks is weird is actually amazing, but he thinks it’s weird so he tries to act normal so that probably makes him seem weirder because he’s not that good at it, but nobody really notices. Probably because most people don’t really want to notice anything that isn’t normal. But what’s really normal, you know? I think it’s a social construct and we really shouldn’t let it hold us back. I try to talk to Jake about it and I’ve gotten a little far, but not much, sometimes I worry I’ll push too far and I don’t want to step outside my lane, you know.” Cassandra shrugged, looking conflicted, sad, and longing all at once. Ezekiel took a moment to process her fast words, nodding.

“You got him to drop the football team. I’m guessing that’s because he really wasn’t happy there, with those posers?” Ezekiel asked. Cassandra nodded vigorously.

“Not to talk badly about anybody, but, they really weren’t his friends and he really hates playing football. He only did it cause it’s what everyone thinks he’s supposed to do.” Cassandra sighed, putting her chin in her hand and propping it on the desk. Ezekiel raised an eyebrow thoughtfully.

“I’m starting to figure out that’s the only reason he does anything.” He said. Cassandra looked down at her notebook, tracing her finger absently over the numbers and lines.

“I wish I could make him see who he really is the way I do. He thinks he has to hide it, like it’s something to be ashamed of, but...he’s so amazing, and he’s just so...I don’t know how to make him realize how wonderful he is. I know it has to do with his family but he’s so guarded I really just don’t want to push my boundaries, you know? I guess it’s just complicated...Baird and Mr. Carson feel the same way, I know it makes Mr. Carson awfully sad to see all that beautiful intelligence and creativity go to waste.” Cassandra said wistfully, eyes distant and face blushing slightly. Ezekiel stared at her as she talked, feeling like his heart was a deflating balloon. 

He may not be the best person when it came to emotions, but he recognized love when he saw it. And there could be no disputing that Cassandra and Jake were definitely head over heels for each other. Ah, young love. Ezekiel suddenly felt like throwing up, but he pushed those feelings away. He didn’t have time to mope around about some unrequited crush, he was Ezekiel Jones.

He turned away from Cassandra and started putting his stuff in his bag, knowing the bell would ring soon.

“Well, if the bloke’s really that smart I’m sure he’ll figure it out.”

\-------------------------------

“What the hell, Jones?” Eve demanded, pacing back in forth in front of him. Ezekiel busied himself with casually picking at his cuticles instead of looking up at his foster mother. 

“I don’t know why you’re surprised.” He said smoothly. Eve huffed in righteous exasperation. 

“Because, things were going so well! You hadn’t skipped a single class in record time, the thing with Stumpy, your new friends, things seemed like they were fine, and then you skip the whole day twice in a row and don’t come back till ten at night, only because I went out and found you and brought you home in my fucking patrol car? I mean, honestly, I don’t understand! You weren’t even doing anything particularly nefarious when I found you, why are you doing this? Is something wrong? Because you don’t need to act out like this to get my attention, if that’s what this is.” Eve attempted as way of a hopeful explanation, looking at him with near desperation. 

“Oh god, no. That’s definitely not it, that’s not ever going to be it. I don’t need your attention, I don’t need anyone’s attention, don’t worry about that.” Ezekiel scoffed, offended at the very thought.

Eve made a disgruntled noise, flopping down on the couch across from him. She figured it might be better if she wasn’t towering over him, like an imposing figure, based on the suspicions she had on his past. After all, she’d been informed that before being arrested when he was thirteen, they had absolutely no record on him. A lot could happen in thirteen years. She took a deep breath, leveling her tone.

“Ezekiel, it doesn’t have to be like this. I won’t be angry or upset if you would just tell my _why_. I just want to understand, I want to know what’s wrong. Is something wrong with me? School? Your friends? Someone...from before you came to live with me? You can _talk_ to me.” She said as gently and earnestly as possible. Ezekiel’s eyes flicked up to meet hers for a millisecond, before flicking back down to his lap. He reached a hand to his chest and rubbed his thumb over the USB drive on his lanyard nervously as he picked at his jeans with his other hand. Then he rolled his shoulders and looked up at Eve with a cocky, casual expression. 

“There's nothing to talk about.” He replied simply, almost smugly. Eve clenched her jaw. How was she supposed to get through to this kid?

“This is unacceptable behavior, Ezekiel.” She stated firmly. Then she paused, thinking. It was obvious that this situation was delicate. She didn’t want to alienate him by severely punishing him or taking away his stuff, when it was obvious he was acting out for some reason. But she couldn’t just let it slide.

“Detention after school, two weeks, neither of your phones, and you can’t bring your laptop to school. You can have your phones during school, but not during detention. If you leave school again or skip again, I will take away all of your electronics. All of them. Don’t think I don’t know you think you’re clever, I know what you have.” She said sternly, pointing a finger at him. Ezekiel rolled his eyes, and Eve sighed before standing back up and putting her hands on her hips. 

“Now, I’ll give you rides to and from school every day, except tomorrow. I have an important meeting tomorrow, that’ll be all day till around eight at night. I would really, really, really appreciate it if I didn’t have to get called out of something as important as this unless it’s an actual emergency, okay?” Eve asked. 

Ezekiel nodded, holding up his hand. “Scout’s Honor, no trouble tomorrow.” He drawled, but he looked up at her like he meant it, so she took that as a win.

“Good. Now, get to bed, it’s almost midnight.” 

\--------------------------

Jake was on his way to his first period when Eve appeared out of nowhere, causing Jake to jump in surprise.

“Sorry kid, didn’t mean to scare you.” She said apologetically. “I was wondering if I could ask you something.” She added.

Jake’s eyes widened, and flicked to the badge on her chest. “Look, I don’t know anything about what Frank’s been selling behind the dumpsters, everyone keeps asking me but we aren’t friends anymore--” 

“What? No, nothing like that - Wait, what about Frank? Actually, scratch that, I don’t have time.” Eve contradicted herself, waving a hand before looking down at him.

“Look, Ezekiel’s got detention again today, but I have to go to this really important meeting all day, so could you and Cassandra drive him home today? You guys hang out in the library sometimes anyways, so I thought…” She asked, a little desperately. Jake blinked in surprise at the question. 

“Cassandra has doctor appointments today, she’s not here. But yeah, I’ll stay after with him and drive him home.” He agreed, nodding. Eve raised an eyebrow.

“Without Cassandra as a buffer? God, I am _so_ sorry.” She lamented seriously. Jake scrunched his face up and opened and closed his mouth, before clearing his throat.

“I don’t need Cassandra as a buffer!” He protested. The halls were started to thin out. Eve crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow.

“I know you don’t get along, and I don’t blame you, as long as you aren’t mean to him. You’re personalities grate like metal and cheese.” She replied. Jake huffed.

“I may not like the guy, but I respect him enough to be a decent human being and spend time around him without it being a big deal. Besides, no matter how much our personalities grate, I’m gonna cut him some slack after what we both know we heard the other night.” Jake told her pointedly. Eve pursed her lips, nodding as she glanced away with a distant expression.

“I appreciate the favor, I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” She told him, and then she was striding away. Once she was gone Jake let himself let out a groan into the empty hallway.

More alone time with Ezekiel without Cassandra? Just perfect. What could go wrong?

\------------------------

“What are you doing in this neck of the woods? Cassandra’s gone today.” Ezekiel asked Jake as he approached, not pausing in the game of catch he was playing with himself using a ball of rubber bands. Jake squinted at him as he took a seat at the table.

“This is a library, I should be asking you what _you’re_ doing here, but I already know it’s because you’re a troublemaker.” Jake pointed out, pulling his backpack off and setting it on the table next to him. Ezekiel laughed, tossing the ball in the air and catching it, not bothering to look at Jake.

“Troublemaker? Just because I like to have a little fun and make a profit?” He asked in a faux innocent tone. Jake felt a familiar bitter taste rise to his mouth.

“Having a little fun at other people’s expense you mean. And how _exactly_ is turning a profit going - cause, now this may be just because I’m a southern simpleton - but I don’t think I’ve actually seen you _gain_ anything worth gaining yet, stealing or scamming or otherwise.” Jake said, pinching his lips and raising both his eyebrows as he tilted his head. Ezekiel finally stopped tossing the ball and looked at him with an unkempt expression. There was a moment of silence, and Ezekiel huffed and tossed the ball in the air again.

“I’m just off my aim, gotta get back in my groove. New town, annoying southern hicks, nasty colds, you know how it is.” Ezekiel replied casually. Jake rolled his eyes.

“I’m not sure I do, because I don’t have anything to go off of. How about you enlighten me about what your _groove_ was before you came here?” Jake asked, folding his hands in front of him on the table. Ezekiel fumbled, dropping the rubber ball. It rolled away from them, and Ezekiel just shrugged, like he didn’t care enough to go after it. Then he turned his attention on Jake.

“You want to hear about my greatest hits?” Ezekiel asked skeptically. Jake shrugged, smiling at him.

“Why not? You say you’re such a good thief, you act like you don’t need school or the law like the rest of us. How about you give me some background so it all doesn’t sound like annoying white noise?” He asked, waving his hands and leaning back in his seat expectantly.

Ezekiel looked him up and down for a minute, and then cocked his head. “A straight laced guy like you wants to hear about the many exploits of Ezekiel Jones? Really?” He asked in a tone of disbelief.

Jake laughed a bit, rubbing his finger on his jaw and licking his lips. “Well, the more you keep stalling, the more I’m starting to decide that you’re nothing but talk.” He said smugly. Ezekiel sat up straighter, eyes glinting.

“Oh, trust me, mate. I am _not_ just talk. I once stole a gun out of cop’s hand with three fingers.” He stated. Jake stared at him in utter disbelief.

“Three? Why would you - why the hell with three fingers?” 

“Now _that’s_ a story.” 

\--------------------

“Okay, I’ve given you the benefit of the fucking doubt with most of this shit, but I’m sorry - there is absolutely no way that a nine year old broke out of a police precinct while it was in lockdown. That’s just - that’s absolutely ridiculous.” Jake was in the process of exclaiming as they walked down the hall after being released by Jenkins. Ezekiel rolled his shoulders.

“I may be a criminal but i’m not a liar, my good man. That’s about the only thing you can trust about me.” Ezekiel declared. 

“Yeah, like I’m going to believe that. You are so full of shit.” Jake snapped, shaking his head. Ezekiel stopped, whirling on him, eyes suddenly blazing with anger.

“Yeah, says _you_. I’m honest and I know who the hell I am and I don’t make any move to try to be what I’m not. All you do is lie! Your entire damn life is a lie!” Ezekiel snarled. Jake stared at him, affronted.

“ _Excuse me?_ What the fuck do you think you’re talking about?” Jake demanded, taking a step closer and drawing himself up to his full height. Ezekiel didn’t back down, just sneered up in his face.

“An IQ of 190, pretends he’s nothing but a _southern simpleton? You've got everything!_ You’ve got the brains, the passion, the potential, the morals, the looks, you’ve even got the fucking girl. You have everything and you just _waste_ it all living a lie and dooming yourself to some stupid dead end job digging holes because you have daddy issues or some shit like that. You’re a fraud and an idiot, so how about you stop walking around all high and mighty before _hypocrite_ gets permanently added to the list.” Ezekiel hissed at him. “Actually, it might already be--” He started to add, but Jake was suddenly closer to him, waving a hand in front of his face as his head whipped to the side, tense and alert.

“Shhhhh!” He whisper-yelled. Ezekiel swatted the hand out of his face in indignation. 

“You don’t get to--” He started, but was stopped by a hand slapping over his mouth. Jake’s skin was pale and his eyes were wide.

“ _Listen!_ ” He mouthed at Ezekiel, jerking his head to the left. Ezekiel took the hint, freezing and craning to listen for whatever the other boy was talking about. When they had left the Library, it was an hour or so after school, so everyone was gone. Jake had lead him down a short cut, which Ezekiel now realized was one of the maintenance hallways by the janitor offices, the boiling rooms, and the gym. 

And there were voices coming around the corner. Familiar voices. 

“The girls and I will give it our absolute best tomorrow, Tom.” Lily’s voice was simpering, followed by noises of female agreement. 

“I’ll be watching for those high flips, I love those. Your skirt goes all the way up.” A gruff unfamiliar guy’s voice replied, followed by loud giggling. Jake and Ezekiel’s eyes whipped to make contact. Lily and her preppy followers, and some jock, it sounded like. The people Jake had ditched for Cassandra. Jake looked pale as a ghost - they _really_ didn’t have a good parting of ways, did they?

Before Ezekiel could reach a hand up to pull Jake’s hand off his mouth, he was suddenly being dragged to the side and shoved into an unfamiliar space. He heard the door close before he could even turn the whole way around. They were suddenly plunged into complete darkness, and Ezekiel couldn’t even take on full step back before he crashed into a bunch of objects and a wall. A hand he knew was Jake’s whipped out to pull him back to the center of what Ezekiel guessed was a supply closet, pressed close to Jake’s warm body. 

“Be _quiet!_ They’ll pass in a minute and we can go!” Jake hissed in his ear. Ezekiel stayed frozen, Jake’s hands still twisted in his sweater, his shoulder still pressed into his chest and their knees bumping. For some reason he was afraid to move, tensely waiting in the darkness, straining to listen as the group of people Jake was so desperate to avoid passed by their door. It seemed like forever before their voices faded into the distance.

Like a spell breaking, they moved apart, and Jake moved towards the door and scrambled for the handle. Ezekiel raised a shaking hand to his chest and swallowed past a lump in his throat, trying to regain control over his strangely beating heart.

The sound of the jiggling handle rang out, and Ezekiel took a step forward, eager to get out.

But the door didn’t open. 

“It’s locked.” Jake said, voice horrified. Ezekiel froze in shock, mind snapping back to the sudden reality of their situation. Jake scrambled for the light switch, and soon the darkness was pushed back by a dingy light bulb dangling above their heads. Ezekiel looked around, appraising their surroundings. It was a tiny closet, with shelves above their heads and a jumble of mops and brooms and a vacuum against the wall behind them, taking up half the room. 

“It’s _locked_?” Ezekiel asked, whipping to stare at Jake. Jake turned to look at him.

“That’s what I just said!” Jake replied.

“You locked us in?” Ezekiel exclaimed.

“Can’t you just pick it?” Jake demanded, moving aside a bit. Ezekiel rushed forward, investigating the handle, the lock and the door. His heart sank to his stomach.

“It’s a code one.” He said.

“Shit, they installed those my freshman year all over, part of a big renovation. Didn’t you say you could crack any of these things by just getting in the worse or something?” Jake asked.

“From the outside! Where the actual panel is! Not the inside of an instantly locking one!” Ezekiel practically shouted back at him.

“That’s a horrible design flaw!” Jake cursed, turning away and running a hand through his hair.

“We can scream for help!” Ezekiel said, snapping his fingers.

“We’d be wasting our breath, nobody’s gonna be around these parts until tomorrow, and this school has the thickest walls you can imagine.” Jake told him. Ezekiel groaned, balling his hands into fists.

“We have to do _something!_ ” He said, voice beginning to be colored with hues of panic. Jake pulled out his phone and started to type.

“I’ll just called Baird, I still have her number after she called us the first time you vanished.” He said, voice triumphant. Ezekiel’s eyes widened, and he vividly remembered John’s hands around Ezekiel’s neck, and Maria’s hand holding him, John’s voice yelling so loudly his brain rattled - _you think you’re so important, you ungrateful brat_ \--

“ _NO!_ ” Ezekiel exclaimed, diving forward and ripping Jake’s phone out of his hand. Jake slammed back into the wall and stared up at him in shock and confusion.

“Dude, what the hell?” He asked. Ezekiel swallowed past a lump in his throat, squeezing the phone in his hands so that they wouldn’t start shaking. 

“S-she’s in a really important meeting. She’ll be angry.” He said. Jake’s expression only got more confused.

“I’m pretty sure getting us out of here is more important than a meeting she’s already been in for hours!” Jake responded. Ezekiel bit the inside of his cheek and tried to keep his mind calm.

“Even if we wanted to, she turns her phone on silent during meetings.” He tried to argue. Jake stepped forward and reached to snatch his phone out of Ezekiel’s hands. Ezekiel was too frozen to bother to put up a fight. Jake started typing again.

“People check their phones compulsively, especially during day long meetings. She’ll see it eventually. I’ll even try Cassandra. If nobody replies after too long I’ll just call the cops. It’s gonna be embarrassing but it’s better than being stuck here overnight.” Jake explained. Ezekiel nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets and turning towards the opposite wall. As if putting his back to Jake would help him hide the emotions taking him over. He took a deep breath as quietly he could manage. Calm down, keep a lid on it. The last thing he needed was to lose even more control over this situation.

“There. Texted them both. Guess we’ll just wait for now.” Jake declared behind him.

Wait. Yeah, Ezekiel could do that. Just stand here calmly, breathing deeply, staring at this one fixed point in front of him and try to ignore the part of his mind that was screaming at him. The walls weren’t closing it, it wasn’t even that small of a closet. Eve wouldn’t be mad, she wouldn’t, she wouldn’t hurt him. She wasn’t John.

 _Isn’t she? They were nice too, until you pushed them too far. What if this is the last straw for Baird? You’d deserve it, wouldn’t you? Those two served together in the military, they both became cops, they both have flawless reputations, there’s no reason to think she won’t snap just like he did. You’ve brought it on yourself._ His mind whispered to him, and he squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his fists tighter. 

“You might as well sit down, either way it’s gonna be a while.” Jake’s voice spoke up, and Ezekiel turned to see Jake had taken a seat with his back against the far wall. Ezekiel turned back away from him, and slowly lowered himself down, sitting cross legged with his back still to the other boy. 

“Oh, so I’m getting the silent treatment now?” Jake asked. Ezekiel didn’t reply, and Jake just huffed, and slide Ezekiel’s phone across the floor to him. It bumped into the back of his thigh, and he reached to shakily put it in the inside pocket of his jacket. He reached up and rubbed his thumb over the smooth side of the USB hanging from his neck as he tried to force the panic away. 

He tensed his whole body, bowing his head a little as he forced himself not to shake. No matter what he did, he couldn’t fight the panic clawing it’s way up his throat, the darkness at the edges of his vision, the vivid and inescapable memories flooding his mind, reminding him just how much pain he was bound for. 

It was like a thousand voices, a thousand noises inside his head, memories and sensations and the feeling as if he couldn’t breathe. The tension he’d been trying to tie himself together with snapped, and he scrambled up with a fever, aggressively and desperately searching the walls, the shelves, crashing into the mops trying to find any way out of this god forsaken death trap.

“Jesus christ, Jones, what the hell!” Jake exclaimed in shock at his behavior. Ezekiel didn’t stop, couldn’t stop, he whirled around and drove forward, hands roaming over the handle, the door, the hinges. Nothing, nothing, he couldn’t think of anything to do he couldn’t _think_ \--

Like a wave breaking over rocks, Ezekiel slammed his shoulder into the door, and then again, and then raised up a fist to punch it. A hand snapping out to grab his wrist in mid air stopped him, and he flinched violently, ripping away from the touch and slamming back into the other wall, body trembling as he tried to make sense past the darkness and the overbearing panic.

“Ezekiel, stop it! Calm down!” Jake begged, eyes wide in fear and confusion in front of him. But all Ezekiel saw was someone bigger than him, someone who he knew didn’t like him. He was trapped with someone who hated him and he was helpless against his own mind. Ezekiel suddenly felt dizzy, and his legs couldn’t hold him up and he slid down the wall. He started to gasp for breath, digging his hands into his head and squeezing his eyes shut. Trapped, trapped, he was going to die if he didn’t _get out of here_ , he was going to have to run when he did, she was going to be so angry--

“Ezekiel, Ezekiel? Jones, buddy, look at me. Look at me, I’m right here, I’m not going to hurt you.” Jake was kneeling in front of him, hands hesitating to reach out, ducking his head down slightly to try and make eye contact. Ezekiel’s eyes whipped up to stare at him, then looked away. He just wanted out, wanted to get away, he had to get away. Then another burst of emotion and suffocation came, and he dug his fingernails into his scalp. Jake reached out and grabbed his wrists, trying to pull him away from hurting himself gently, but Ezekiel ripped away from him, moving farther into the corner, eyes wide from fear and one of his hands held out in front of him, as if to protect himself.

In the process of ripping out of Jake’s hold, one of Ezekiel’s gloves had been pulled off. Jake’s wide eyes stared at the palm that was outstretched towards him. It was disrupted with raised scars, in a spiraling sort of pattern over his whole hand and even parts of his fingers. Jake swallowed past the large lump in his throat. Jones was having a panic attack - or was it an anxiety attack? Fuck, he couldn’t remember. Where was Cassandra when you needed her?

Touching him had been a mistake, scratch that. Jake slowly set the glove down on the floor.

“I’m sorry. It’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you, I won’t touch you again, I promise. Ezekiel, look at me, it’s okay. Look at me, see, how many fingers am I holding up?” Jake attempted, holding up three fingers, trying to get Ezekiel to focus on him. Focus on him and not whatever the hell was driving him out of his mind. Ezekiel’s eyes flicked between Jake’s face and his hand, and his face was scrunched up in confusion and panic. Ezekiel gulped, and shook his head.

“Okay, Jones, listen to me. It’s going to be alright, everything is okay. We’re going to get out of here just fine, and nothing bad is going to happen. Whatever it is that’s making you so scared, I know it’s hard, but I promise it can’t hurt you.” Jake said, trying to make his voice as clear and soothing as possible. 

Ezekiel heard what he was saying through the haze in his head, but it sounded distant. And it didn’t make any sense. Nothing made any sense. But one sentence broke through, awakening something in him. _I promise it can’t hurt you._ Ezekiel felt himself look up towards Jake, and it was as if the other boy was just coming into focus.

“How?” He struggled to ask, his voice tense and trembling, his mouth dry as tears leaked out of his eyes. It occurred to him how horrible it was that _Jake_ of all people always seemed to be around to see him when he was vulnerable. 

Jake’s eyebrows pinched together in momentary confusion, before he realized what Jones was attempting to convey. “How - how do I know you're not going to get hurt?” Jake guessed.

“I…” Ezekiel didn’t know how to respond, didn’t know what to say, why he would say anything. His throat felt like it was closing up, and he started taking faster, more shallow breaths. Jake panicked a little himself, afraid he would lose Ezekiel’s focus again.

“I know because Eve isn’t going to be angry, she’s going to understand. Even if she was, she’d be angry at me, I got us into this mess. And god, I am so, _so_ sorry. But I promise, nothing’s gonna hurt you, because I’m not gonna let them. It’s just me and you, nothing’s wrong.” Jake told him earnestly. Ezekiel swallowed past the tightness of his throat, letting himself stare into Jake’s sincere eyes instead of focusing on the walls around them. 

“After we get out, I’ll get use some pizza, alright? And breadsticks. And this weekend, how about me and Cassandra take you up to Portland, to the big city, alright? Lots of dopey people to pickpocket, go see a movie, go to the mall. Cassandra loves the mall. Have you ever been to Portland?” Jake asked, hoping that a question would pull Ezekiel’s thoughts onto him more.

Ezekiel shook his head slightly. “First time … on the west coast.” He said slowly, breath still coming hard to him.

“Oh, really? Where were you before you came here?” Jake asked, praying to whatever gods there were out there that this conversation would carry on.

“Ran from Denver...to Nevada.” Ezekiel replied, his gaze moving from Jake’s eyes to Jake’s hands, which were hovering in the air, uncertain.

“Why?” Jake heard himself ask, before he knew better. Then he realized that heavy questions like that probably weren’t the best idea at the moment. “Uh, no, forget that--”

“Afraid.” Ezekiel replied softly, cutting Jake off. The other boy blinked at him.

“What?” Jake asked.

“I was afraid. I am--” Ezekiel couldn’t finish the sentence, a sudden wave taking back some of his hold, and his hand that was still outstretched started to shake. 

Without really thinking, Jake reached forward and took a hold of his hand, wrapping it in his own. They were closer now, but Ezekiel wasn’t as scared of that fact as before. And his mind wasn’t as scattered. Ezekiel’s brain hesitated to consider the warmth of the contact, the gentleness of it. But it was a better thing to think about than everything else. 

“It okay.” Jake said. Ezekiel didn’t reply, but his face wasn’t twisted up in panic and fear like before. It looked tired, and Ezekiel was just staring down at the hand holding his. He slowly lowered his arm, letting their intertwined hands rest on top of his folded knees. Nothing else was said, but the silence wasn’t really that bad. Jake had the distinct feeling that this was what Ezekiel needed, and he dare not break the delicate solace he had stumbled upon. 

\------------

It seemed like forever yet a few seconds later, and Ezekiel’s phone buzzed. He jumped, and reached for it, staring down at the screen as the panic and fear he’d been starting to hold back came flooding back.

“She’s here, she...left the meeting to come get us.” He said out loud, still staring down at the screen in horror, swallowing. Jake reached up, and pushed the phone down a little, causing Ezekiel to look up into his face again.

“She’s not going to be angry.” Jake reminded him. Ezekiel nodded, but he didn’t look convinced.

Soon, but not soon enough, there were voices outside the door and the sound of beeping. Finally, the door was open, and Eve’s face was revealed. Looking very very concerned.

The minute the door opened, Ezekiel was out of it at the speed of light, stumbling across the hall and reaching out to lean against the far door. All the lights were out, and Jake walked out to find a very grumpy looking janitor standing next to Eve. Eve looked them both up and down. 

“Are you guys okay?” She asked, staring at Ezekiel, who was practically doubled over taking deep breaths of fresh air. Jake made eye contact with her, and tried to convey what he was feeling through a look as best he could. She must have got the message, because her face went grim. Jake stepped a little closer to Baird, clearing his throat. 

“We should get him home. And, uh, try not to touch him. Or do anything, uh, sudden.” He whispered to her, rubbing the back of his neck. Eve turned to look at him in alarm at what he was saying, and then her face fell even further as she started to realize what he was implying. Then he steeled herself and nodded, turning back towards her foster son.

“Ezekiel, my car’s right outside the front doors.” She told him. He stood up a little straighter, shoving his hands in his pockets, and nodded. But wouldn’t look at any of them. Jake and Eve exchanged a glance, and they bade the janitor goodbye.

The walk out to the parking lot was tense, and quiet. Out on the sidewalk, Jake jerked his thumb over his shoulder.

“I’ll, uh, take my truck. I’ll follow you. I’ve got something I need to...talk to you about, before I go home.” Jake told Eve, glancing towards the other boy. Ezekiel was already in Eve’s car, sunken in the passenger seat and staring out the window away from them. Eve nodded, putting a hand to her forehead.

“This isn’t your fault, I know it wasn’t on purpose. Is he mad at you about it?” She asked, jerking her head towards the car. Jake shook his head, and then nodded, and then shrugged desperately.

“I don’t think so, but... I don’t know. He should be. God, I really fucked this one up.” Jake said, running his hand through his hair as the events rolled over in his brain. Eve reached out and squeezed his shoulder, giving him a caring but firm look.

“Hey. Don’t do that. It was an accident, Stone. Don’t blame yourself for something as dumb as that.” She told him. He nodded, and turned away to head to where his truck was parked across the lot.

\----------

Eve wasn’t sure what to say, as they drove. Turning the radio on didn’t seem like the right move. Ezekiel was still just staring out the window. He barely moved, he wouldn’t talk, wouldn’t even look at her. It was terrifying. What the hell had happened in that damn closet? Jacob had seem pretty shaken up too. She knew they didn’t quite get along, but she was fairly certain Stone wouldn’t hurt Ezekiel. At least, not intentionally.

But if he had...a sudden fire sparked deep down in her, and she knew that if he had, she would make him regret it.

Not that she thought he had. She couldn’t help but entertain the possibility, though. She glanced up at the rear view mirror, her eyes considering the headlights of Jake’s truck behind them. Then she returned her gaze to the road ahead.

She could let Ezekiel have a little more silence, but it would be broken once they got home. However much she was afraid of what she was going to hear.

\-------------

Eve lead the two boys inside, flicking on the lights. Jake awkwardly stayed close to the door, but Ezekiel strode towards the stairs.

“Not so fast. I know you must want to crash, but I’m gonna want some answers.” Eve called out, causing Ezekiel to freeze in his tracks.

“It was just an accident.” Ezekiel replied, not turning around to face them. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry? There’s nothing to be sorry about.” Eve asked, frowning in confusion. Ezekiel turned his head a little bit, glancing at her. But didn’t say anything. He didn’t trust himself to say anything. Eve turned to Jake for an explanation.

“He thought you’d be angry. About having to leave the meeting.” Jake hesitantly supplied. Eve’s eyebrows rose up, and she turned to cock her head at Ezekiel.

“Well, I’m not. You’re way more important that a stupid meeting. It was boring anyways. Really? You don’t care if you're disappearing acts make me angry, but this you care about?” She asked incredulously. Ezekiel started to walk up the stairs.

“I need to sleep. Good night.” He said, voice lacking it’s usual animation and sarcasm. Eve opened her mouth to call him back down, but Jake’s hand on her forearm stopped her.

“Let him go.” He told her. She pursed her lips and did just that, and they watched his back disappear around the hallway corner. 

“What happened?” Eve asked Jake in a low voice, once Ezekiel was gone.

“We got stuck, and once we realized we couldn’t get out I went to text you and he just freaked out. It was really weird. Like calling you was the most terrifying thing on the planet, but I did it anyways. And then - I guess, he was really scared you’d be angry, and maybe he doesn’t like small spaces or doesn’t like me or doesn’t like being trapped - probably all of the above. But he just had an absolute _meltdown_. Full on attack of some sort, it was scary, it took a while to get him to calm down. Baird - Eve--” Jake stumbled over his last words, looking away and swallowing before looking back up at her.

“That kid’s been abused.” He told her in as level a voice as he could manage. Eve’s expression fluttered a little, and she clenched her jaw.

“I...It crossed my mind.” She replied.

“He was terrified of the thought that you would be angry about having to leave the meeting. He thinks that you’re going to hurt him.” Jake breathed. Eve’s eyes flicked up towards the stairs.

“I would never--”

“I know that. And he probably _knows_ that, he just doesn’t, you know, _know_.” Jake attempted to explain. Eve sighed like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.

“You’re probably right. It probably happened before he came to America, or at least, before he got caught the first time. That whole part of his life is a complete mystery, even to the authorities. It might explain why he ran away from John…” Eve said thoughtfully.

“John?” Jake asked. Eve nodded.

“John and Maria Reynolds. They where Ezekiel’s foster parents before. I served with John, he’s a good man, and his wife is an esteemed pediatrician. They’re great people, and very dedicated foster parents. When Ezekiel first popped up on the grid he was arrested for a being involved in a seriously high end jewelry heist. Nobody knew where he came from and they just wanted to get rid of him, but John asked to be given a chance. They're kind of miracle workers, they've turned what everyone else sees as lost causes into some of the best people I know today. And Ezekiel bailed on them so much he broke their hearts, and they gave up for the first time. But I won't give up.” Eve declared, voice steady and confidant.

Jake smiled at her ruefully, then turned towards the door.

“I better go, my dad’s probably wondering where I am.” He said. 

“Drive safe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, the plot thickens! Again, sorry about how long this took. It won't take as long for the next one!


	11. exposure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group deals with the fallout of the closet event, and Ezekiel is more confused than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOUNDTRACK:  
> http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/home-is-where-the-heart-is

Ezekiel woke up rather suddenly, and he was only allowed a moment of morning haze before the reality of everything that had happened descended on him. He rolled over in bed and groaned, curling and putting his head in his hands. He wished it had all been a bad dream. How was he supposed to face either of them again? He should run, get the hell out of here before this all backfired horribly on him. He’d learned his lesson the first time, he really really needed to get out of here. Especially since, somehow, he’d managed to fuck up and show his weaknesses to these people. This was an absolute disaster; he was mortified. What if they figured it out? Figured out what a fucking worthless mess he was way earlier than he’d been hoping for.

A loud bark disrupted his distress, and Stumpy scrambled up onto the bed, tail wagging as he licked and pawed at Ezekiel’s curled up form. Ezekiel pulled himself up a little, smiling as he rubbed the dog behind the ears and pet him enthusiastically. 

“Right. You’re the reason I can’t leave yet. Don’t worry, you’re worth it.” Ezekiel sighed, smile falling as he felt a heavy weight settle over him. A knock on the door spooked both him and the dog, and Stumpy made a growling noise, the hair on his spine raising up. Ezekiel shushed him gently, softly reassuring him.

“It’s okay, it’s alright, it’s just Eve.” He said, even though personally he didn’t feel alright whatsoever. Then he turned to the door.

“Come in.” He called, trying to school himself into looking casual and disinterested.

Eve opened the door, giving him and Stumpy a soft smile. “Good morning. How are you, uh, feeling?” She asked, rubbing the back of her neck.

“I’m fine.” He lied. She raised an eyebrow.

“Are you sure? Because, I understand if you’re not. And I understand if you don’t feel like going to school today, so if you want, you can stay home. Take a mental health day, I’ll excuse both you and Stumpy from where you’re supposed to be today.” Eve told him. Ezekiel blinked at her, taken aback.

“Wait, really? You’d let me stay home alone?” He asked in surprise. 

Eve smiled wider and nodded. “I trust you.” She told him earnestly. Ezekiel stared at her, disturbed.

“You _what_? How can you possibly trust me to not leave and go rob a bank while you’re gone or something? I thought you were smarter than that, Baird.” He asked in confusion. It didn’t make any sense, he’d done nothing but break her trust over and over on purpose. 

Eve shrugged, and gave him a look like she knew something he didn’t. “I trust you, because you just called this place _home_.” She informed him. Ezekiel realized he had.

“That - I - that was _not_ what I meant!” He spluttered to cover up. 

“Whatever you say, Jones. Would you like to stay home or not?” She asked. Ezekiel looked away from her, directing his attention back down at Stumpy. If he couldn’t run away from this issue right now, at least he could avoid facing Jake and Cassandra and all those people for as long as possible.

“Yes.” He decided.

“Alright then, have a good day. Don’t forget to take him out, there’s food makings in the kitchen, you can have whatever. I’ll be back right after school today.” She told him, turning to go. Then she paused and turned back, looking a little more serious.

“Ezekiel, if you need anything, please don’t be afraid to call me.” She said in a soft tone. Ezekiel didn’t look up at her.

“Whatever you say, Baird.” He replied, voice dismissive. Eve pursed her lips and nodded, and shut the door behind her.

\------------------------

“That is _awful_!” Cassandra whispered in horror, face pale as she sat back against the passenger seat of Jake’s car. He stared ahead at the road, not responding. He had told her the basics of what had happened, but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to go into detail. Besides, it felt a little too much like gossiping if he told her every little thing. But she got the message.

“Are you gonna talk to him about it?” Cassandra asked him. 

“I don’t know. I - I just don’t know. I’m still processing everything myself. Besides, even if I knew what I wanted to say to him, I seriously doubt that he’s going to want to even look at me.” Jake muttered.

“It wasn’t your fault, it was an accident. You don’t know that he’ll blame you. Even if he does, he’ll get over it, I’m sure.” Cassandra reassured him.

“Are you? How are we supposed to know how he’ll react, we haven’t known him that long. Cassie, I know you’re really really good at reading people, but I think you give some people too much credit. Myself included.” Jake said bitterly, squeezing the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white. Cassandra’s face looked distraught, and she reached out to lay a hand on his shoulder, scooching a little closer. He didn’t spare her a glance, instead he just kept staring ahead. There was a moment of silence, and it wasn’t until they were parked and about to get out that Cassandra spoke.

“Don’t do that. It really isn’t your fault. And if I do give people too much credit, then I guess that’s just me. But sometimes I think you don’t give people enough, but I understand why. Don’t worry about it, i’m sure it’ll be fine.” Cassandra assured him. Jake smiled at her, but it felt a bit forced.

“I hope you’re right, Cassie. Enough about me, how was your appointment? If you want to talk about it, that is.” He added, pulling away as he opened the door of the truck. Cassandra hopped out her side and pulled her little backpack closer to her shoulders as they started towards the school building.

“Well, Dr.Layna says that she knows some specialist in New York I could go to, but i’m not sure I want to…” 

\------------

Ezekiel heard his phone ding multiple times, alerting him to more text messages, all of which he was sure were from Cassandra. Asking where he was, if he was okay. He had no doubt Jake had probably told her everything. Another person who was going to figure out how weak and pathetic he was. He just curled up in bed a little tighter around Stumpy, petting the dog as his thoughts gnawed away at him 

He was going to have to face everyone again, for as long as it took to get the whole Stumpy thing in order and plan his next run. Eve really seemed to be warming up to Stumpy, so maybe it wouldn’t take that long. Once he was sure the dog would be alright without him, he’d go. But how should he go? On foot? Eve seemed resourceful enough to find him if he tried something slow like that. Stealing a car was too risky, with the authorities already on to him. He had to get out of this country, maybe Canada? The Bahamas? Mexico? 

He wanted to go west, go somewhere warm, somewhere bustling with people that were easy to steal from. Somewhere he could make a new life, where he couldn’t be found, where he could get rich.

But despite this having always been his plan, even thinking about it made him feel suddenly guilty. Why should he be guilty? 

He became frustrated with his own misery, and got out of bed. He went downstairs and ended up making himself a big bowl of pasta, and then sat with Stumpy on the couch eating it while he watched some animated Justice League show. He had always loved comic books, and superheros. Irony aside.

Ezekiel felt even more pathetic, sitting here curled up on a couch that wasn’t his, moping around. This was an absolute disaster. Shame was saturating every thought, and he couldn’t bear it. 

Ezekiel set his macaroni bowl on the coffee table and paused the TV, and leaned back into the couch, letting his head fall back and his eyes close. He just had to gather himself, and carry on like he always did. If he kept himself in check from here on out, this blemish on his image should hopefully fade. 

That was only part of his concerns, but he pushed the rest aside. Sometimes he couldn’t even make sense of his own secrets. 

Ezekiel Jones wasn’t a liar, but he hated the truth.

\-----------  
Eve was walking down the hall on the way to the gym to talk to a colleague, when a familiar voice from behind called her name.

“Officer Baird!” Cassandra called. Eve turned around to see Cassandra skid to a halt in front of her, a haggard looking Jake reluctantly coming to stand behind her. He gave Eve a forced smile. Cassandra was staring up at Eve in concern.

“Did Ezekiel skip again? He isn’t answering my texts.” Cassandra asked in concern. Eve raised her eyebrows, and pursed her lips, glancing away, then shook her head.

“No, don’t worry. I let him stay home today. He...needed it. He’s fully excused.” Baird told them. Cassandra frowned in worry.

“Is he okay?” She asked. Eve opened her mouth, then shut it.

“Did you tell her?” She asked after a moment, glancing at Jake. Jake looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Only the basics.” Cassandra answered for him. “So he needed some alone time? Are you sure he didn’t, you know...use the opportunity to run off again?” Cassandra asked in worry. 

“He seemed to think I was crazy for trusting that he wouldn’t, but I know he won’t. Not today.” Eve shrugged.

“Would it be alright if we stopped by after school to talk to him?” Cassandra asked. Jake’s head whipped around.

“Cassandra, no, he doesn’t want to see me!” He hissed urgently. Cassandra whipped to fix him with a firm look.

“You don’t know that!” She replied. “This is important.” 

Eve grimaced. “Uh...I suppose you can stop by. But be considerate, alright? And if he doesn’t want to see you, you _will_ leave. No buts.” Eve said, pointing a finger at them and meeting each of their eyes. Cassandra nodded solemnly, and then saluted Eve. Eve frowned in confusion.

“Don’t do that.”

“Sorry...”

\---------

Ezekiel spent most of the day in his room, his laptop with Stumpy next to him, doing research for his plan to run away. Around three in the afternoon, right on the dot, he heard Eve’s patrol car pull into the driveway. He didn’t get up. He hoped with all his soul she wouldn’t come up here and try and do something awful like _talk_ to him.

Unfortunately, soon enough, there was a knock on his door. He sighed, and shut his laptop, setting it aside. Stumpy growled at the sound of the knock, curling into him. Ezekiel hushed him.

“Don’t worry, it’s just Eve. Come in!” He called after he was done reassuring the dog. But the face that appeared in his doorway wasn’t Eve. It was Jake. Ezekiel felt himself freeze in surprise and panic, but forced himself not to show it, forcing his face to remain passive and his body not to clench anymore. 

“What are you doing here?” Ezekiel practically wanted to wince as the words came out of his mouth, they sounded harsher than he had intended. Jake was looking at the floor instead of him.

“Cassandra kinda dragged me here. But that’s not the point, uh, I need - no, I would _like_ to talk to you. If you want to. I’ll go, if that’s what you want.” Jake struggled to say, looking up into his eyes with an uncomfortable amount of sincerity. How had Ezekiel’s life come to this? Actual emotional discussions? Absolutely disgusting, he felt like throwing up at the entire situation.

His first thought was to instantly shut it down, and tell Jake to go. But, unfortunately, deep down Ezekiel knew that would just make things worse.

“Well, since you came all this way, what is it you want to say?” Ezekiel asked, trying to sound detached and casual. In reality he was more on edge than he’d ever been talking to someone his own age.

Jake cleared his throat. “Well, for starters, I’m really sorry about getting us stuck in there.” He began. Ezekiel scoffed.

“You should be, I don’t know how I’ll ever forgive you.” He rebutted. Jake’s eyes widened, and Ezekiel felt bad. He had no idea the guy was really so worked up over it.

“Oh come on, dude, it was a joke. Don’t get your cowboy boots in a twist, it was a stupid accident. Is that all you came here to say?” Ezekiel asked. _Please say yes please say yes please say yes._

“No,” Jake said. “I wanted to tell you...I know what I do is confusing. I know it probably doesn’t make sense, why I pretend like I’m something I’m not. But after what happened…” Jake looked back down at his shoes. “I was hoping maybe you’d be the first person who might understand.” 

Ezekiel felt like he’d been slapped. He stared at the other boy. This was _not_ what he had been expecting. Seeing this side of Jake, the weight of his words, it all felt so...exposing. Ezekiel thought back to how resentful he’d been, that the idiot pranced around playing the fool when he could have everything. And now, after seeing Ezekiel in a horrifyingly compromising situation, he wasn’t giving him pity. Or disgust. Instead, he was trying to...put himself on an equal footing? Connect their fucked up dots? Ezekiel had no idea what to think.

“I don’t know if what happened was because of maybe claustrophobia, or panic, or something - probably both, but I have no way of knowing. But I want you to know that I don’t think any less of you just because you weren’t the perfectly disconnected, self absorbed hooligan for a little while. I have reasons for not wanting people to know about-” Jake raised a hand to gesture at his head. “ _this_. And I guess you have your reasons for what you do to. I’m not going to say that’s okay for us to do because I don’t know. I just - for now, I want you to know that I think you’re a good person, and I respect the fact that you have reasons for trying to make people think you aren’t, because I understand what it’s like to try and hide who you are. That probably sounds stupid.” Jake sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. Ezekiel was still staring at him, trying to process his words.

“Uh, thanks, I guess?” Ezekiel said dumbly, swallowing past a lump in his throat. Jake gave him a small smile, and jerked his thumb over his shoulder.

“I’ll get going now. Take the time that you need, I guess, but don’t worry about me and Cassandra. Nothing’s gonna change. For the worse, I mean, everything is always changing - I’ll just go now, okay.” Jake cut himself off, shaking his head. Ezekiel looked away as Jake went to leave, turning to stare out his window at the sunset. What the fuck had just happened?

“Jones?” Jake’s voice called him, and Ezekiel turned to see Jake had stuck his head back in the door.

“What?” He asked. 

“Eve...Officer Baird would never hurt you. None of us would.” Jake said, far too softly for someone who looked like he belonged in a rodeo. Ezekiel felt like he’d been punched directly in the heart. Of course, Jake had put those two pieces together. Just great.

“Whatever you say, Cowboy. I’ll see you tomorrow. Not for long, i’ve got business in town at noon.” Ezekiel added, leaning back in bed and trying to calm his hammering heart. Jake just rolled his eyes, and then he was gone.

After a little while, Ezekiel turned to lay on his side, curling around Stumpy and staring out the window. He was feeling a whole mess of emotions. Deep down, there was an ache in his chest he was both familiar with and a stranger too. And it terrified him, more than any locked room or man with a belt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come talk to me at queerseth.tumblr.com!


	12. fun and education

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang goes to Portland, and Ezekiel is struggling to understand things he doesn't even know what to call yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOUNTRACK:  
> http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/home-is-where-the-heart-is
> 
> I added new songs!

Ezekiel spent the rest of the week going to school, without skipping once. Eve and the others all had decided it wouldn’t be a good idea to mention it, at least, not right now. He did his best to act normal, despite how weird he felt. To his surprise, things fell into a sort of ease that Ezekiel had never known before. Sure, there was this awful unspoken tension, but it also felt like some sort of barrier was being broken. Frankly, he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. He was hoping the unspoken tension would fade over time, or the rest of his duration in this town would become unbearable.

He was going to be here for a while, why not enjoy himself.

“So, were you serious about that Portland idea?” Ezekiel asked suddenly one day at lunch, looking up from his phone to cock his head at Jake. Jake blinked up at him from the poetry book he was reading. 

“The what?” He asked.

“Uh, in the closet.” Christ, that sounded weird. “You said something about us all going on a trip to Portland. Did you mean it? I mean, it’s cool if you didn’t, I don’t mind either way…” _Nice save, Jones._

Jake’s eyes widened as he remembered, and he smiled. “Oh, yeah! Yeah, I meant it. If we can make it happen. What do you think Cassie?” He said, turning to look at the girl reading an advanced physics textbook. She threw the book onto the table, jumping up and down in her seat in excitement. 

“That sounds like so much fun!” Cassandra exclaimed in excitement.

“What does?” Eve asked, and Flynn turned to look at them expectantly as well. Ezekiel froze. Shit, he hadn’t wanted her to know. 

“We want to all go on a trip to Portland, since this is Ezekiel’s first time on the west coast.” Jake said easily, as if it wasn’t a bad idea to tell Eve their plan. Ezekiel flicked to look at him in confusion. 

“I’ve been to Portland a few times to go to classical music concerts and fancy parties with my parents but I never actually got to see anything cool. They have a Museum of Science and Industry there, I’ve always wanted to go!” Cassandra gushed. “I can pay for gas and getting into places!” 

Eve nodded. “That actually sounds like a fun idea. But I don’t think you’re parents will let you all go alone without supervision, I know I wouldn’t. I could drive you guys, if you don’t mind. I can be cool.” 

“I’m sure my parents wouldn’t have a problem if you were taking us, that sounds perfect!” Cassandra exclaimed. Jake nodded.

“My dad respects you, sounds like a plan. I’ve always wanted to see the PIttock Mansion.” Jake said earnestly. Ezekiel stared between the two of them in Eve, confused as to what had just happened. He had assumed that the others would get permission from their parents, yeah, but he himself had been planning on sneaking out. He hadn’t expected Eve to be so...supportive of such a fun trip. He didn’t deserve to go out and have fun with his friends when he was skipping school, being disrespectful and failing all his classes. Was this some kind of joke? 

\-----------

Sure enough, the weekend came, and everyone was set to go. Jake and Cassandra’s parents had said okay, Cassandra had filled the tank of Eve’s car with gas and they were on their way. Eve was driving, Cassandra was in the passenger seat, while Jake and Ezekiel were in the back. Ezekiel was still confused about the whole thing, about how nice they were all being, but he tried not to let onto it. 

Once the initial excitement of getting onto the road passed, Ezekiel pulled out his trusty old PSP and started to play one of his favorite games to pass the time. Jake stared at him.

“How can you play that thing while you’re in the car? Don’t you get a headache? A sick stomach?” Jake asked. Ezekiel gave him a look.

“Cause I’m not a weak bitch.” He replied. 

“Language!” Eve called back. Ezekiel scoffed.

“Says you, I heard you cursing like a sailor when you stubbed your toe this morning.” Ezekiel replied. Eve just humphed, and Jake rolled his eyes.

\--------------------

“So, where do you guys want to go first?” Eve asked as they rolled through the outer streets of Portland. Ezekiel had abandoned his game to look out the window with interest.

Before he knew it, Cassandra and Jake were arguing about whether to go to that historical house first or the science center. Personally, Ezekiel wanted to go to the zoo. But they probably couldn’t do all three in one day...he thought about opening his mind and putting in his piece. But then an all too familiar weight settled on him. A rising, underlying dread. It was all too familiar, being treated well despite not deserving it. The Reynolds had given him so much patience, and kindness, at first, for a good while until his bullshit finally pushed them too far. He’d pushed them too far, he hadn’t been good enough. And he’d really been trying that time. This time he wasn’t trying at all, who knew what would happen when they snapped? Maybe he should play it safer while he got ready to leave. That being decided, he kept his mouth shut about what he wanted and kept looking out the window. Eventually Eve parked in a restaurant parking lot. They were still debating the issue.

“Ezekiel?” Cassandra asked, and he was forced to turn to them. 

“Where do you wanna go man?” Jake asked. Ezekiel shrugged.

“I’m fine with whatever you guys want to go.” He replied. Everyone in the car turned to stare at him.

“What?” He demanded.

“You’re usually a _lot_ more opinionated than that. Are you feeling alright?” Eve asked, craning over her seat to raise her eyebrow at him. Ezekiel rolled his eyes.

“Fine, I want to go to the Zoo. But it’s not a big--” He started to say, but was cut off by an excited squeal from Cassandra. 

“There’s a Zoo, I totally forgot! Let’s go there and then Jake’s history house, I can go to the museum of science another time.” Cassandra announced. Jake frowned at her.

“The Zoo sounds like a good idea for all of us, but we can go to the museum, really, Cassie. I can just drive up here any time.” He countered.

“I can get driven up here any time! You were really excited about the house!” Cassandra protested. Ezekiel rolled his eyes and got out of the car. Now they were fighting for the other to get what they wanted. What a married couple. He felt a sudden bout of sadness, of a familiar loneliness. He pushed it away. He was supposed to be having fun today, not pining over things he could never have.

“The Zoo it is! We’ll settle the rest as we go.” Eve announced as she exited the car and came to stand next to him with a smile. He forced himself to return the gesture.

“Food first?” Jake asked.

“I’ll pay!” Cassandra called as she scrambled out of the car. 

\-------------

“This place is huge! It covers 64 acres, can you believe it?” Jake exclaimed. Cassandra replied with the exact amount of feet that were in an acre, and started to calculate the amount of square centimeters inside of 64 acres out loud. 

“So, you like Zoos?” Eve asked, as they walked through the pathways of the Oregon Zoo. Ezekiel let his eyes roam over the people and structures around them as he spoke.

“I’ve never been to one before.” He replied. Cassandra cocked her head.

“You’ve never been to a Zoo? Not even on a field trip in elementary school?” She asked in surprise. Ezekiel shrugged.

“School and I have never gotten along, it’s not a new thing.” He said casually.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jake asked in confusion. Ezekiel took the first exhibit up ahead as an excuse to change the subject, and the conversation was soon forgotten as the group explored the largest Zoo in the state. Ezekiel eventually forgot all about his unsettling dread, and was caught up in excitement.

“You really like animals, don’t you?” Cassandra asked, while the two of them waited by the bathrooms for Jake and Eve. Ezekiel shrugged.

“They’re cool. I like them better than people, that’s for sure. I used to watch the Discovery Channel a lot when I was a kid, it was the only decent channel the home got.” He explained. Cassandra’s expression changed.

“The home?” She asked. Ezekiel felt a stab of anger at the slip up, and turned away from Cassandra to clumsily change the subject.

“Do you think I could steal a decent amount of that kettle corn before Eve gets out of the loo?” He asked. Cassandra seemed to sense the subject should be dropped for now, and carried on to lecture him on the morality of stealing kettle corn from a woman who’s been standing in the sun all day. Once Jake and Eve came back out, they headed to the Pacific Shores exhibit, before they had to leave. If they wanted to go anywhere else during the day, they couldn’t see every single thing.

“Have you two decided?” Eve asked as they climbed back into the car, with a few souvenirs to each of them.

“The Museum of Science and Engineering, and I agreed to give Jake gas money to get back up here to see the house some other time.” Cassandra informed Eve. “In fact I’ll probably just go with him. I’m no history buff but I still think it would be fun.” 

Ezekiel’s good mood was slightly soured by a bitter taste in his mouth as he watched Jake and Cassandra smile at each other, but he pushed it away and opened the booklet about penguins he’d stolen out of the gift shop.

\-------------------

“That was surprisingly less boring than I thought it would be.” Ezekiel announced as the exited the museum. Cassandra had been practically jumping out of her skin the entire time, while the rest of them had done their best to keep up with them. Eve and Jake had wandered off to the more Engineering side of the place, but Ezekiel stuck with Cassandra while she talked about astronomy and physics at the speed of light. He didn’t really mind it, he was glad she was having a good time. She deserved to have fun. 

_Unlike me._ He found himself thinking rather often, but he always pushed those thoughts away. And, without fail, they always came back. But he didn’t let it bother him; he was having too much fun for that.

The drive home was beautiful. Ezekiel found himself setting down his game to watch the sunset and the scenery rolling by his window. Jake’s side wasn’t as pretty, so the other boy scooted closer so they could both look. Ezekiel’s eyes flicked down to a singular speck on the car window, the orange and blue hues blurring out of focus. Like a dream. Jake’s hand had settled on top of his. Ezekiel was sure Jake was too interested in what he was looking at to notice. But suddenly the view out the window was nothing compared to the warmth of the hand on top of his. Jake was leaning forward, and their shoulder where pressing together. Ezekiel felt like he was suddenly hyper aware of his body, of the beat of his heart and the heat of Jake’s presence brushing against the edge of his own. When had the car started moving so fast?

His mind was drawn back to the closet, but not to the terror or the darkness or the panic. He felt like he was just realizing how strange it had felt, to sit there holding Jake’s hand. How Jake’s touch and his words had done more to push the darkness away than any other thing ever had. For the first time in Ezekiel’s life, he had felt like maybe he didn’t have to be in control all the time. He tried so hard to make everyone think he didn’t have a care in the world, when the opposite was the truth. But right now, right here, all he could find himself caring about was the weight and the heat of another hand on top of his. Another body so close to him, but not hurting him. 

Jake. Jake had been the one to get him stuck in that dumb closet, but he’d also been the one to draw him back to reality and make him feel alright. Ezekiel had never really been mad at the other boy, had he? He’d only ever been jealous. And frustrated with that jealousy. Frustrated that someone who could have so much chose to have nothing, when Ezekiel was here, pretending he had everything when he was doomed to always have nothing. 

But what did he really know about it?  
“Oh, sorry.” Jake had noticed the situation, and moved away, pulling his presence and his warmth to a safe distance. Had Ezekiel’s hands always been this cold? He felt something strange drop to the pit of his stomach, but he said nothing and just kept looking out the window. But all his eyes seemed to be able to focus on was that one little speck of dust, passing by a world of color without being able to touch it.

\----------------

It was getting dark, and they were almost home. They stopped at a gas station in some random, less than desirable looking town on the coast. Eve and Cassandra went inside to go to the bathroom, while Jake and Ezekiel filled up the tank. Well, mostly Jake. Ezekiel was just standing there. He turned away from the other boy and the building, shoving his hands in his pockets as he looked out over the dismal streets lit only by neon signs and flickering street lamps. It was the color scheme of his life, he felt like. Dark streets and dirty broken business signs making enticing, yet empty promises. He supposed cities were the same at night everywhere. 

It would be so easy just to slip away at any time. Now, on the trip. While they’d been in Portland. When they got home. Any time, he could just...disappear and be on his way. He only had two things to consider. Eve coming after him, and whether Stumpy would be in good hands. The second problem seemed to be less of a concern every day. He had been spending a lot of time thinking about the best way to run without anybody tracking him down. No matter how determined they were. 

But when he thought about it, about running away...a strange feeling twisted through him, like a heavy hand was reaching into his chest and clawing at his heart. It was a feeling he had never felt before, unique in the way it made his head hurt and his body feel heavy. 

“Do you think we could steal the car with the time we still have before they come out? I can hot wire.” Ezekiel called back casually. Jake looked up at him, still holding the pump and nozzle.

“What the hell is wrong with you man? Who even thinks about that?” Jake exclaimed in confusion. Ezekiel just started to laugh, leaning against the front of the car and crossing his arms. 

“C’mon, dude. Drop the act. You can’t tell me you don’t think about things like that sometimes.” Ezekiel said, rolling to give Jake a look over his shoulder. Jake stood a little straighter.

“What do you mean? No, I don’t have intrusive thoughts about stealing a car.” Jake replied. 

“That’s not what I mean.” Ezekiel sighed, rolling his eyes in irritation as he turned to face Jake again. He raised an eyebrow and gave Jake a cocky look, as if he knew something Jake didn’t.

“I’ve been a lot of places and met a lot of people. Wanna know the one thing I’ve learned?” Ezekiel asked. Jake pursed his lips.

“Please, enlighten me.” Jake said, sure this would either be insulting or aggravatingly self absorbed. Just like everything Ezekiel willing said to make people think he didn’t have a care in the world. It was so easy to see through, it got on Jake’s nerves.

“Everyone is running. They’re either running towards something, or away from something else. Even if it isn’t in quite the chronically physical sense, such as myself. What do you call what you do?” Ezekiel accused, gesturing up and down Jake’s form. Jake put a hand on his hip.

“What do mean, what I _do_.” Jake asked, a little hostile.

“This little act you put on for everyone. There has to be a reason. You’re running away from like, who you are. And you lot think _I’m_ the secretly angsty one. For the life of me, I cannot figure out why the hell you wouldn’t want people to know.” Ezekiel threw his hands in the air. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

Jake looked away, shuffling a little, and then glanced to check the pump. “It’s not that deep.”

“Do you know how many people would kill to have an IQ of - what was it? 190?” Ezekiel exclaimed in disbelief. 

“It’s just a number! Besides, everyone’s smart in their own ways. It’s not that complicated, Jones.” Jake turned to make direct eye contact with him. 

“I’m happy where I am. That’s it.” Jake said, earnestly, with a slight edge of desperation. Ezekiel nodded, and turned back around to lean against the car again. There was a resonate beat of silence.

“Happy where you are.” Ezekiel repeated, in a softer tone, as he looked out at the familiar lights of a city he’d never set foot in before. Jake was watching him, not sure whether the statement was one of questioning or considering. 

Ezekiel watched the different shades of darkness move in the night, feeling like he was the echo of something nobody wanted to say. Then he slowly turned back to give Jake an ironic smile.

“Do you know how many people would kill to have _that_?” He asked. Jake just stared at him, but before he could reply, they both turned to the sound of Cassandra’s voice exclaiming excitement about how Eve had gotten them slushies.

The drive home was silent, and there was a wide space in between the passengers in the back seat. They both spent the rest of the time thinking about how they wished they could understand the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come talk to me at queerseth.tumblr.com! 
> 
> I would like to dedicate this chapter 2 bran, light of my life~


	13. fables of doom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezekiel is finding it harder and harder to understand how he feels about himself, and about his future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOUNDTRACK:  
> http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/home-is-where-the-heart-is

Ezekiel sat up with a jolt, terror racing through him and heart pounding against this chest. It took a few minutes for the grip of the nightmare to loosen. He was in his bed, not locked away somewhere dark and suffocating. The moonlight was filtering through his blue curtains, and Stumpy was curled up on the window seat, a little silhouette through the sheer fabric. Ezekiel felt the tension ease out of him, bit by bit.

It was four in the morning, according to his phone. Cassandra and Jake had been having a conversation in the group chat last night about the difference between funnel cakes and elephant ears. Whatever those were. Ezekiel rubbed his hands over his face, and laid back down in bed.

It had been a few days since the Portland trip, and things had been going fine. Depending on your perspective. Ezekiel was in a constant state of gnawing dread and dizzying confusion. About a lot of things, he was confused about his whole situation, of course. But lately he was perplexed, in particular, about an unprecedented amount of romantic feelings. Towards Cassandra, _and_ Jake. Both of them. At the same time. It just didn’t make any sense.

But considering that anything coming from those feelings in any way was absolutely impossible, Ezekiel decided it would just be best to ignore them.

Which was, naturally, easier said than done.

\----------------------------------

“Ah, yeah, who’s a good boy? You’re a good boy, isn’t that right, yes it is…” Eve cooed as she rubbed Stumpy’s belly. Stumpy was on his back, wiggling back and forth as he rubbed against her, his tail beating happily against the floor. Ezekiel watched the giant smile spread across Eve’s face, and found himself smiling in between bites of his breakfast.

Another set of emotions lurked behind the easy domestic feeling of contentedness. Eve and Stumpy were sure getting along.

Maybe he wouldn’t be stuck around here as long as he’d thought.

How did he feel about that? He didn’t know. But it didn’t matter how he felt about it, it was just facts.

“Are you ready to go?” Eve’s voice broke him out of his thoughts, and he blinked up at her. She was standing now, and was leaning against the counter holding a cup of coffee.

“Yeah.” He lied easily.

\-----------

“What are you _doing_?” Jake asked incredulously. Ezekiel looked up over the table. Then he looked around. They were all in Flynn’s room for lunch, per usual. But everyone was staring at him, even Flynn. He furrowed his brow.

“What?” He demanded. Jake gestured to the papers in front of Ezekiel, and the pen in his hand.

“What is that?” Jake asked. Ezekiel blinked down at it.

“It’s my math homework. What about it?” Ezekiel asked, even though he knew exactly what the answer would be.

“You _never_ do your homework.” Eve said. “Are you feeling alright?” She asked, as if genuinely alarmed. Ezekiel went rigid and shoved the papers back into his notebook, then leaned back in his chair.

“I’m fine. I was just bored.” He snapped, heat flushing up his face.

“Look who’s a good student!” Jake said gleefully, a teasing tone to his voice. Ezekiel frowned, and stood up.

“Yeah, sure. I’m gonna go buy a drink.” Ezekiel announced, pulling a wallet out and holding it up before turning towards the door.

“Hey, wait, that’s mine--” Jake exclaimed, scrambling to get out of his chair and chased Ezekiel out of the room. Cassandra laughed, and shook her head fondly. Then she reached forward and pulled the stray papers out of Ezekiel’s notebook.

“You probably shouldn’t--” Eve started to say, but was stopped when Cassandra’s eyes widened. Eve and Flynn exchanged a look, as Cassandra leafed through the papers.

“Only one of these sheets is our homework. The rest of it is the challenge worksheets Mr. Smith puts out in front of his room for all his math classes. Practically nobody tries, and only one person gets them all right.” Cassandra exclaimed, pouring over the figures scratched out in Ezekiel’s handwriting.

“Last I heard, that person was you. He probably grabbed them because he liked the challenge and then gave up.” Flynn shrugged, taking a bite of a burrito. Cassandra looked up at them, and an awe stricken gleam was lighting up her expression.

“These are all right! I didn’t know he was this good at math! Why is he failing Mr. Smith’s class, why wouldn’t he try, it looks like these didn’t even take him that long!” Cassandra exclaimed. Flynn looked taken aback, but Eve just sighed and shook her head, pushing some leaves around in her salad before fixing Cassandra with a knowing expression.

“Ezekiel’s smart, smarter than even I probably know. But it doesn’t matter how smart someone is if they never care enough to try anything.”

Cassandra frowned thoughtfully, before jumping up and racing for the door, clutching the papers.

“I’ve got to talk to him!” She exclaimed, red hair flouncing behind her as she went.

\---------------

“They’re right, you know, if you put your mind to it you could--” Eve started, as they walked into the door. Ezekiel cut her off with a sigh as he set Stumpy down on the floor, his back turned to her.

“That’s the problem, I just don’t want to. I just don’t care. I was bored, leave it at that.” He said, getting a little fed up with being harassed over it all day.

“I don’t appreciate your tone.” Eve said, frowning sternly, putting her hands on her hips.

Ezekiel felt a chill run down his spine as the words rolled over him from behind. He felt like he’d been dunked in cold water.

_”Is that the kind of tone you think I deserve to hear?” John demanded angrily, and Ezekiel’s breath rushed out of him as he was slammed back into the wall with a large hand around his neck. Panic crawled up his pinched throat as pain blossomed through his body. He clawed at the fingers squeezing his throat as tears leaked out his eyes, legs kicking weakly._

_“I think you deserve to have that disrespectful tongue ripped out if that's how you feel.”_

Ezekiel slowly out his hands in his pockets. “I’m sorry. I didn't mean to be rude.” He replied softly.

Eve blinked, taken aback by the sudden change in attitude. Then she decided to accept it, and nodded.

“Uh, well, apology accepted then. So, what do you want for dinner?” She asked, more upbeat.

Ezekiel was quiet for a moment, watching Stumpy scamper off. Then he turned to look at her, and smiled brightly. It was fake, and she was strikingly aware.

“You don’t have to worry about it. I’ll make dinner tonight.” He announced. Eve blinked.

“You can cook?” She asked in surprise.

 “Maria taught me.” Ezekiel shrugged, looking away. Eve pursed her lips.

“Well, uh, I guess if you want. We can--” She started to say, but was cut off.

“No, not we, just me. I’ll make dinner. I don’t like other people in the kitchen with me.” Ezekiel replied.

Eve was slightly confused, but she had a good feeling, so she shrugged, smiling and putting her hands up.

“Alright, alright, I surrender. I’ll go work on some paperwork, but if you need me, don’t be afraid to ask, alright?” She asked. Ezekiel turned away, heading towards the kitchen.

“Whatever you say, Eve.” He called back as he exited the room. Eve hesitated for a moment, before heading up the stairs.

\--------------

“That was delicious, Ezekiel, thank you.” Eve exclaimed as she carried her plate to the sink, where Ezekiel was rinsing off his own.

 “Thank you, I’m a regular Guy Fieri, I know.” Ezekiel drawled as curled slightly inward, keeping his back to her as he fussed over the dishes.

“I don’t know who that is, but I’ll take your word for it. Look, Ezekiel, you made me a fully fledged meal, you don’t have to do the dishes to.” Eve interjected, trying to maneuver her way around Ezekiel to open the dishwasher. He seemed too tense, and pulled his arms in towards himself. Eve took a step back.

“I can do it, I don’t mind cleaning dishes that much. It’s cleaning rooms that makes me want to hop fences and steal cars.” He said, turning his head to wink at her, his forced humor holding a hint of desperation. Yeah, he was definitely acting weird.

Eve decided it was probably a good idea to give him his space over this for now, especially when it was something positive. Or at least, not necessarily destructive.

“Uh, well, okay then. Thank you. Want to watch a movie when you're done?” She suggested. “I think there's a new Vin Diesel one out!”

Ezekiel hesitated, before shaking his head and turning back towards the sink.

“No, I’ve got some reading to do for my language arts class. Maybe tomorrow. Sorry.” He replied.

This was beyond strange. Wanting to do the dishes? Being civil and soft spoken? Wanting to do homework instead of watch an action movie? It was all just…

But should she really be protesting against good things? Even if they seemed peculiar in context? Maybe this was the change she’d been praying for, and Ezekiel was starting to realize he really could have a successful life here. Better react positively to this kind of thing, right? Reinforce it?

“That sounds great! I’ll be in my office if you need me, and I’ll take Stumpy out on an evening walk so you can study in peace and quiet for a little.” She said cheerily, reaching to hesitantly pat him on the shoulder. He cast her a half assed smile over his shoulder, instead of flinching away. She felt suddenly like maybe she was dreaming, and turned to leave. Maybe things were looking up around here.

\--------------

Ezekiel hadn’t skipped class for a whole week. Not a single one. He was turning in his work, and his teachers were all approaching Eve in the teacher’s lounge to tell her that he wasn’t doing very well, but he was doing something, and that gave them hope. She felt like a weight had been lifted off of her. Ezekiel still bantered with her and was a sarcastic little shit, but they’d gone out to dinner together yesterday, and it had been...relieving. Relaxed. Happy. As if the air between them was blooming with a relationship Eve was overjoyed to feel.

Cassandra and Jake had been coming over more often, and Eve was pretty sure that Ezekiel had a crush on the girl in the red beanie. Which carried a lot of things with it, and had a lot of connotations, so Eve just left it alone. Wasn’t her business . Not yet, anyhow.

“So, I have a present for you.” Eve said, as they were getting into her car after school. Ezekiel blinked at her as he took a drink of his energy drink, which she was aware he had probably stolen from the student store, but it was better than stealing phones, so she decided to take things as they went.

“A present? For what?” He asked in confusion. Eve cast him a warm smile as she pulled out of the school parking lot and headed for downtown. Well, the part of this small town that could be considered downtown.

“Good behavior is rewarded, Jones. You’ve been doing well in school, and I’m proud of you, and you deserve something for it.” She announced. Ezekiel looked at her, then looked down at his lap, and then adopted a casual demeanor and leaned back in his seat.

“Where are we going? The bank?” He asked.

“Yeah, you keep going with that.” Eve drawled.

\---------------

“Really?” Ezekiel exclaimed, as he got out of the car, staring up at the store in front of them.

“You said you liked to skateboard, didn’t you?” Eve replied.

“I didn’t think…” Ezekiel seemed dumbfounded. Then he turned to look at Eve.

“A good board costs a lot, you don’t have to--” He started to say, but Eve held up her hand.

“Don’t worry about the money, Ezekiel. Let’s go.”

The store smelled like axe cologne, had obnoxious name brand merchandise everywhere, and was playing a Foster The People song. But Eve didn’t mind, because all she had eyes for was the way Ezekiel’s face lit up when he looked at the racks of different boards. He seemed to forget his apprehension, and rushed to the wall, to look over them. Eve stayed back, meandering around a rack, looking at the art and designs. She didn’t know much about these things, but it appeared Ezekiel did.

“Get whatever one you want, whatever you need to maintain it, and a helmet.” She called to him.

“A helmet? That’s lame.” He lamented.

“Safety is never lame, Jones.” She replied.

“Your mom’s right!” The store attendant said, as he came to stand next to Ezekiel. Eve halted slightly. Ezekiel didn’t correct the attendant.

“So, what do you prefer?” The smiling young man with gauges asked.

“Shortboards.” Ezekiel replied.

“You like catching the air?” The attendant asked, with a knowing smile. Ezekiel shrugged casually.

“I’ve eaten the dust more than a few times, but all in the name of glory, am I right?” He replied. The attendant laughed, and the two of them launched off in a conversation that flew over Eve’s head. In the end, Ezekiel chose a board - something called a shortboard, whatever that meant - with bright blue wheels. On the bottom of the board was an intricate design of a valley of skeletons, with a man holding his glowing hands out over them as vines interwove through the bones. He got all the extra bits for the board and a plain black helmet. When the cashier rang them up, Ezekiel blanched at the number and opened his mouth to say something, but Eve paid quickly and shot him a wink.

“So, since the school’s so close, sometimes you can probably skate too and from school if you want, and you can just leave your board in my office for safekeeping.” Eve suggested as they climbed back into the car, having put the board in the trunk.

Ezekiel gave Eve a quizzical look at that, and she raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“You trust me enough to go to and from school on my own?” He asked incredulously.

“Yes.” She replied instantly, firmly, and without any sort of questioning to the tone. Ezekiel blinked at her, with that expression he always had when he was taken off guard. Then he quickly turned to look out the window instead, brow furrowing and mouth tightening as if that had upset him.

\-------------------

 

“Can you teach me how to skateboard?” Cassandra asked eagerly, after he told them what happened the next day, as they all sat down in their language arts class.

“Yeah, sure. Are there any parks around here?” Ezekiel asked. Cassandra shook her head, as if she didn’t know, and they both turned to look at Jake. But his eyes were rapt towards the front of the room, where the teacher was talking. This was his favorite class besides Carson’s, after all. Ezekiel rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone.

“I’ll just google it.” He said to Cassandra, who nodded and then pulled out her book for the class like everyone else was.

“Does anyone want to come up and read our pages for the day?” The teacher, Mr. McGuire, called out. He was a feeble old man, with a heavily wrinkled face and a bright smile. But that smile held a fervent resentment for youth, and for the new generations choice of hobbies. His eyes zeroed in on Ezekiel, who was typing away on his phone, per usual, and didn’t even have his book out.

“Mr. Jones!” His voice demanded across the room, causing everyone to look back at the three of them, as Ezekiel raised his head.

“What’s up?” Ezekiel asked, as if he had no idea why the teacher would be calling on him. Mr. McGuire’s jaw clenched, and he sat up a little straighter in irritation.

“Mr. Jones, for the hundredth time, I would greatly appreciate it if you put away that infernal device before I take it from you. This is not an electronics class, but I doubt you would have paid enough attention to notice either way.” Mr. McGuire said, his voice almost a sneer. Ezekiel huffed, but slide his phone in his pocket anyways. A few people snickered.

“Since you seemed so invested in reading your silly little screen, how about you direct that energy into something useful, and come read today’s pages for the class.” Mr. McGuire ordered, his smile returning tenfold. Ezekiel blanched, and shook his head.

“I’ll pass, thanks, mate.” He replied, leaning back in his chair and putting his hands in his pockets. More giggling followed, and Mr. McGuire looked more put off than ever. His usually gentle demeanor turned remarkably cold.

“That was not a request. If you refuse to participate in class without a suitable reason, iI’ll have you removed, and report you to the office for disrespect and disruption of the learning environment. Now, get up here, and read aloud pages fourteen to eighteen. Four meager pages, however will you manage.” Mr. McGuire said dryly.

Ezekiel glowered with dissatisfaction, but he was hesitant to outright refuse. If he got reported to the office, Eve would be mad. But maybe there was still a way he could work around this.

“Well, I would, but I don’t have the book.” He admitted, pretending to look sad over the fact. McGuire narrowed his eyes, straight up _glaring_ at him.

“You have been here for weeks now, Mr. Jones. And according to what I hear, a delinquent like yourself spends almost every day in detention. Which is, I believe, in the library. And in all that time, you couldn’t find a moment to check out your required reading?” McGuire demanded in disbelief and something akin to disgust. His raw disgruntlement rubbed Ezekiel the wrong way, and he was about to open his mouth to retort, when he was stilled by a hand on his forearm. Cassandra’s hand.

“You can borrow mine.” Jake said, when he looked over at them. The other boy held out his copy of the book.

“Mr. Stone, you need--” McGuire began, but Jake cut him off.

“I already finished it, sir. It was an excellent read, I got caught up in it.” Jake said, holding up a notebook covered in intricate notes to appease the teacher.

“Well, alright then. Problem solved. Mr. Jones, you’re up.” McGuire demanded, gesturing to his special reading stool.

Ezekiel slowly took the book from Jake. It was a small book, something about fahrenheit. He slowly stood up, swallowing past the lump in his throat. He made his way up to the dreaded stool, and kept his eye cast down on the book as he took a seat. He cleared his throat and tried to appear casual.

“Page fourteen, coming up…” He said slowly, as he leafed to the page. Then he stared down at the words printed on the page for a few moments, trying to piece them together. His mind also trying to figure a way out of this situation.

“We do _not_ have all day, Mr. Jones. Some of us have lives worth living after this.” McGuire sneered angrily, earning a few more snickers and a dirty look from Cassandra and Jake alike.

Ezekiel swallowed again, and opened his mouth to start. His mouth formed awkwardly around the words, and they came slowly, because it took him an excruciating amount of time to make out each conjecture of letters.

“Being people--” He started, then stopped. Those of the class that were actually reading along looked up at him funnily, but he just cleared his throat again and tried to get the words to stop swimming in front of him.

“Being... with people..” He got the order correctly this time, but the words were coming out slowly, and awkwardly, as if he had to sound out every syllable. People began to laugh, and Ezekiel felt his face heat up with shame. His knuckles turned white clutching the book.

“Being...with...people is...nice.” He’d gotten through a sentence. Maybe there was a God. “I bu-but, no, shit--” He cursed, interrupting himself, getting frustrated as the letters practically tangled themselves.

“Mr. Jones, is this some sort of joke? Are you trying to act like an idiot?” McGuire sneered. Laughter erupted across the class, but Cassandra was suddenly standing, hands balled into fists, looking outraged. And a little ridiculous, in her poodle skirt dress and red beanie.

“You can’t say that!” She exclaimed.

“Why, it’s true. The dumbass can’t even fucking read.” Chortled one of the guys in front, who Ezekiel recognized as the guy who hung around Lily a lot. Ezekiel clenched his jaw and stood up, slamming the stupid book down on the school and stalking out of the room, trying to contain any sort of emotional outburst. The last thing he needed was to embarrass himself more.

Cassandra went to walk after him, but McGuire held out his hand. “Mrs. Cillian, one student leaving class is regrettable enough, but I shall not allow two. Sit down. And _somebody_ come up here and at least finish this page, or I’ll double everyone’s homework!” He announced. Cassandra glared at him, but sat down in a huff, looking up at the clock. A girl went up to finish the reading, and Jake leaned over to whisper to her.

“He’s probably already off the campus. We’ll go talk to Eve as soon as the bell rings.” He assured her. She could only stare at the door Ezekiel had left out of, her face contorted in worry.

\----------------

“ _He what_?” Eve exclaimed, standing up at the words of the two teenagers that had just burst into her office.

“He made him go up there and read, he was really really mean about it, Ezekiel tried but he was having a really hard time, but everybody just kept laughing at him, and then Mr. McGuire called him an idiot! Because he was reading slowly! In front of the whole class! And then he just left! And McGuire wouldn’t let us go after him, and he says he’s going to report him for ditching!” Cassandra ranted, steam rolling out her ears and concern pouring out of her eyes.

“He called him an idiot? For that? He--” Eve felt like a sudden fire of rage had swelled up in her, but she took a deep breath and quenched it with an ocean of concern.

“Okay, first thing’s first, I’ll go find Ezekiel. You two go back to class, I’ll take care of him, and _then_ \--” Eve stood up a little straighter and adjusted her suit. “I’ll take care of McGuire.”

“I’ll try and text Ezekiel.” Jake said, as Eve ushered Cassandra and him out of her office.

“Don’t bother on my behalf. I have a feeling I know where he went.” Eve sighed.

\------------------

Eve walked up her stairs slowly, the air of her house feeling more charged with presence than it ever had. Like the very atmosphere was churning with the foundations of the bond she was trying so hard to form.

She reached Ezekiel’s door, which was cracked slightly open. She took a breath, before reaching up and knocking softly on the door. There was a beat of silence.

“Come in.” His voice called out. She slowly pushed open the door. Ezekiel was sitting in his window seat, knees drawn up to his chest with his head turned out the window. Stumpy was curled at his feet, nuzzling against his ankles.

“Hey, kiddo.” She greeted as she stepped into the room.

“Here to take the village idiot back so you can put the dunce cap on?” Ezekiel muttered.

“You are _not_ an idiot. McGuire is. Trust me, I’ve always hated him, and he’s going to pay for humiliating a student like that.” Eve said firmly.

“Yeah, whatever you say.”

“Look, Ezekiel...having a hard time with some things doesn’t make you stupid. You’re really smart when it comes to a lot of things.” Eve said, taking a seat on the edge of his bed.

“But I’m not!” Ezekiel burst out, turning to look at her. “I can’t read, I don’t know anything about history, I didn’t even know that the earth was tilted on an axis or who the hell Napoleon was until last week! I’m sub par at math, I can’t play any instrument, I’m tone deaf, I can barely cook, I…” Ezekiel sighed, slamming back into the wall and rolling his neck.

“Stealing and hacking are the only things I’m good at. And I’m not even good at that.” He muttered.

“Hey, you’re a great thief.” Eve couldn’t believe she’d just said that, and it hadn’t even been ironic.

“Yeah, says the woman who keeps catching me.” He replied.

“You’re in a new environment, remember? You’ve got to readjust.” Eve tried to say in an upbeat tone.

Ezekiel shook his head, and laughed a little, looking up at her incredulously. Then his face fell again, and he looked away.

“Jake and Cassandra are both practically geniuses.” He muttered. “And they’re nice people who have their own problems.”

“So are you.” Eve said, and stood up. She reached out and softly put a hand on Ezekiel’s shoulder. He didn’t pull away.

“We can work on your reading. Based on what Cassandra told me...do you have dyslexia?” She asked. Ezekiel looked up at her, raising an eyebrow.

“Isn’t that a bowel problem?” He asked.

“It’s a learning disability, to do with reading. Words all jumbled around, and look like they’re blurred on the page? That’s what I’ve heard it as, sound familiar?” She asked. Ezekiel stared up at her, a look of recognition on his face.

“Yeah, it does...I mean maybe…” Ezekiel frowned. “I always thought it was because I didn’t uh,” He paused, before looking back up at her. “I didn’t really learn to read, uh, at all, until a while after most people did.”

“And you’re still as good at texting and hacking as you are? That’s impressive.”

“I guess.” Ezekiel shrugged.

“Well, I’ll talk to some people about getting you tested, and we’ll go from there. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, either way. As for today, I checked you and me out from school. We’ll stay home the rest of the day, unless you wanna go out and do something. I’ll deal with McGuire tomorrow.” Eve explained.

“I almost feel sorry for him.” Ezekiel muttered. He appreciated how nice Eve was being, but he couldn't’ seem to let himself accept the warmth in her smile. This was all just so alien, yet so familiar. And it terrified him more and more every day. He turned to look out the window.

“I’d rather just chill out on my own, I have some stuff to do anyways.”

“Oh. Okay, that’s alright. I’ll be downstairs, and i’ll order pizza for dinner, alright?” She said, as she backed out of the room.

“Whatever you say, Baird.” He replied. He really was an idiot, letting himself go soft again and start trying to do something he knew was a waste of time. It was Maria all over again. But he wouldn’t make the same mistakes he had then. He had to put his walls back up, he had to get back on track, make sure nobody doubted him. He needed to stop being afraid of the consequences of who he really was, because the consequences that would come from failing to be something he wasn’t would be far more painful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to Summer!!! Thank you for some of the ideas in this chapter that will play a bigger role than even I thought at first in the chapters to come!


	14. skate or die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezekiel and Cassandra re enact a scene straight out of every 2000 era teen romance movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOUNDTRACK:  
> http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/home-is-where-the-heart-is

_”How’d you do on the test, Zeke?” Maria asked with a charming smile as he got into the passenger seat next to her. He kept his head down, glancing at her before looking away. She didn’t turn the car on, she just waited._

_” I failed it. Hard."_ _He finally admitted, hand curling to clutch at his jeans. Maria pursed her lips, reaching out a hand. Ezekiel flinched back from it, slamming slightly into the door. Maria didn’t even react to that, as if it was normal, and kept her movement going to squeeze his shoulder, despite how obvious it was that he was fearful of the touch. She gave him a warm, dazzling smile._

_”Don’t worry, sweetie. It’s just one test. There’ll be others. Me and John will make sure you’re good enough to ace those, don’t worry.” She assured him. He gulped._

_Ezekiel looked at her desperately, and leaned into the touch after a moment. “But what...what if I’m not?”_

_Maria reached to brush his hair out of his face gently. “Don’t worry about that. If you aren’t, it’ll hurt us more than it’ll hurt you.” Then she pulled back her arm and folded her hands in her lap, giving him a sympathetic look. “And you don’t want to hurt us, do you?” She asked, already knowing the answer._

_Ezekiel shook his head empathically. “No, of course not, never.” He said earnestly._

_Maria smiled happily. “And why is that?_

  _Ezekiel smiled back at her, a softer, more desperate smile. “Because I love you.”_

_Maria’s smile widened. “And why is that?” She continued, reaching for the final apple at the highest branch. She really was enjoying this one, he was just so very vulnerable. Ezekiel swallowed._

_”Because you deserve to be loved."_ _He recited. She nodded, satisfied, and reached to turn the key in the ignition._

\-------------------------

“Ezekiel?” Eve’s voice pulled him out of a memory, and he turned to blink at her. She was sitting behind the wheel at the stoplight they were at, looking at him quizzically.

“Sorry, zoned out. Did you ask me something?” He asked.

“I asked why you skipped all your classes today. Things have been going so well. Is something wrong? Is it McGuire? I can get you put in the other language arts class-” She started to say, but Ezekiel shaking his head cut her off.  
“No, it’s fine, I don’t care about that anymore.” He lied. Then he turned to look out the window.

“I just didn’t feel like going.” He lied again, shrugging. Eve pursed her lips, turning to look at the road as the light turned. She was upset, but this was...a delicate situation. Shouldn’t she take things in steps? Ezekiel had been doing so well, and it made sense he would be upset over what happened. And skipping one day was nothing compared to what he used to do, so, maybe she should let it slide a little. Give a little compassion.

\---------------

It had been three days. Three days, of Ezekiel skipping at least four of his classes. Eve had to say something.

“Look, I know school sucks, but…” Eve sighed, swirling her spaghetti around her plate as she looked up at the boy across the dining table. “I’d really appreciate it if you tried to, uh, lay off the skipping. Please?” She asked, as sincerely as she could.

Ezekiel looked down at his plate instead of her. “Whatever you say, Baird.”

Eve sat up a little. She hated that phrase, and she hated the way he said it. It felt, frankly, like a stab to the heart. The dismissive distance he tried so hard to put between them, it hurt her. It really did. But she didn’t respond with anything other than a nod, because she knew he was putting it there for a reason.

When they were done with their meal and had put the dishes away, Eve jerked her thumb over her shoulder.

“Wanna go watch a movie?” She asked. Ezekiel hesitated, and shook his head.

“No, I’ve got, uh, homework.” He replied. Eve’s smile fell a little. Homework when he hadn’t been to class in days? Yeah, sure. But she just shrugged, and reached a hand out to squeeze his shoulder, opening her mouth to reassure him. But he started to step away as her arm moved, eyes flicking downward at it. Eve let her arm fall back at her side instantly, and took a step back.

“Well, that’s okay, good luck. I’ll be down here if you need me.” She said, smiling again. He just nodded and turned away, heading up the stairs.

\-------------------------

The next day, Ezekiel hesitated in the morning. He didn’t want to go to school. What was the point? Besides, he needed to make these people remember he didn’t care. Needed to undo the damage. But Eve...deep down, he didn’t want to disappoint her. She’d asked so nicely.

But he didn’t owe her anything. He didn’t ask to be believed in. Besides, she didn’t know what she was getting into. If she knew the truth, she would have given up on him already. It was better if he didn’t try to pretend anymore than he already was. He should just skip, go across town and talk to this guy Tony he’d met a while ago. Networking was important, after all.

He headed down the stairs, board under his arm, but was halted by Eve with her arms crossed.

“Sorry, you’re not skating to school. You can bring your board and skate home, but I’m driving you there.” She announced. He opened his mouth, but then decided better, and followed her to the car.

It was his lucky day, it seemed, because the minute they walked into the school, Eve got swept away by a horde of distraught administrators and teachers. He watched her go, grinning, and turned around to head right back out the door, clutching his board a little tighter.

Just when it appeared he was home free, the door in front of him opened, to reveal Cassandra. They both froze. Her cheeks were stained with tears, and she was wearing a hideous black hoodie, her normal clothes and her beanie missing. Jake was nowhere in sight. His own thoughts and plans rushed from his mind.

“Cassandra? Have you been crying? Are you okay?” He asked in concern, reaching forward. She reached a hand up to scrub at her cheeks, and opened her mouth to reply. But then she paused, looking him up and down.

“You’re leaving, aren’t you?” She asked, looking up into his eyes. Ezekiel felt like a deer caught in headlights. He rubbed the back of his head, glancing behind him.

“I, uh-” He started to say, wondering how to get her off his case without making her more upset. But before he could, Cassandra stood up and little straighter and forced a strange smile at him.

“Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go.” She announced, stuffing her hand in her jacket pocket. He stared at her, eyes widening in confusion.

“What?” He asked, bewildered.

“I want to come with you. If you’d let me. I promise I won’t be a bother.” She asked, a little bit of a trembling desperation to her tone. Ezekiel blinked. He looked at her, and then down at his board, and reached to touch the helmet he’d put on his head just for the hell of it. And idea struck him, and he gave her a sly smile.

“I didn’t have anything planned in particular today, actually...but how about I teach you to skateboard? You wanted to learn, didn’t you?” He asked. Her eyes brightened up, and he felt relieved to see her smile.

“Yes! Let’s go, quick, before we get caught!” Cassandra gushed, glancing around furtively before grabbing his hand and pulling him out the door. He laughed, but let her pull him along.

“Trust me, Cassie, nobody’s watching. The bell doesn’t ring for another twenty minutes.” He assured her.

“Where should we go?” She asked, as they hurriedly crossed the parking lot.

“Well, I don’t really know of any skate parks around here, so we should probably just roll through the streets wherever we please.” He said, shrugging.

“Shouldn’t we at least have some sort of destination in mind?” Cassandra questioned. Ezekiel tweaked his lips to the side, then an idea struck him.

“We could skate across town and get something to eat at Anthony’s Pizza.”

“Yes!”

\-------------

As the sun grew brighter in the sky, Ezekiel coached Cassandra on stance, how to push off as hard or soft as she wanted, and then movements. They laughed, and laughed, and he ran after her trying to make sure she didn’t fall when she started looking unsteady.

But eventually, there came a time when he couldn’t run to steady her fast enough, and she crashed into the curb. Luckily, she just rolled into someone’s plush grass yard. That didn’t stop Ezekiel’s heart from skipping. He rushed forward and reached to help her up, worrying over the smaller girl as she sat up.

“I’m fine, I’m good!” She assured him, rubbing a bruise on her leg. He nodded, but then his eyes were drawn up to her head. Specifically, the patch of shaved, barely regrown hair with a scar in the middle.

She watched his sight move, and felt her heart drop. She swallowed thickly, and reached to pull her hood back up, turning her head away from him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to look…” Ezekiel apologized, snapping out of the slight surprise.

“No, it’s alright….” She sighed, moving her head towards him again a little, staring down at her lap. There was a beat of silence, and then Cassandra stiffened. Ezekiel’s hand had stretched out to rest on top of hers.

She looked down at his hand on top of hers, and then up at his awkward expression.

“My parents don’t want me to come to school.” She admitted. Ezekiel blinked. To him, that didn’t sound like a problem. But she seemed to say it like it was some terrible thing, so he frowned.

“Why...not?” He asked hesitantly, not sure how to go about this situation.

“Because there’s no point, and because it’s dangerous. I’m just going to die before I can do anything anyways, and the only thing I was ever good for was math and science, but I was only good because this _thing_...” She gestured to her forehead. “Was pressing on my brain in all the right ways, I guess. But then the bad things started coming along with the good, and i’m not allowed to think too hard about things, or i’ll get hurt. I’d already be in college classes if not. But they want to take me out of school all together, and I just-” Cassandra’s eyes filled up with tears.

“I just want one normal thing!” She exclaimed, slamming her fists down on her own legs. “I want to graduate. They keep trying to pull me out, they keep trying to stop me. They say it’s for my own good, but…” Cassandra sighed, and gestured to her hood. “This morning they took all my nice clothes, and my beanies and hats, so I couldn’t look nice over cover up the biopsy spot. But I came anyways, I had to borrow Jake’s jacket...but then I got to school and I just...couldn’t.” Cassandra sniffed, rubbing her nose, and gave a harsh laugh.

“Could you imagine what a field day Lily and her goons would have if they saw me like this?” She muttered.

Ezekiel fretted internally for a moment, unsure. Then he squeezed Cassandra’s hand.

“I’m sorry that...that things are so unfair. But if it helps, you’re probably the bravest person I know. You will graduate, hell, you’ll probably be valedictorian.” He said, smiling. She sniffed again as she looked at him, and returned the smile.

“Actually, the principal talked to me about that…” She said. Ezekiel nodded, and then he stood up, offering a hand to pull her up. She took it, and he kicked his skateboard into his other hand once they were face to face.

There was a moment of silence as Ezekiel reached out and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, under the hood.

“See? You’ll show those goons and your parents that you _can_ do it.” He said in an upbeat tone. Her smile widened.

“And what about you? Will you be there to cheer me on?” She asked. Ezekiel hesitated, glancing away.

“You know I won’t be around that long. But, uh, maybe i’ll stop back by in town to see it.” He shrugged.

Cassandra gave him a knowing look. “Don’t be so sure.” She said, reaching down to take his skateboard before he could reply to that.

“Now, how about you teach me how to do that kick thingy?”

\----------------------

It must have taken them hours to get across town at the pace they were going, but it seemed like a timeless instant. They got to Anthony’s and ordered a small pizza, and sat outside on the curb while they ate it, laughing.

They’re fun was cut short, however, when a familiar car rolled up. Ezekiel felt his heart drop to his stomach. But then Cassandra was laying a hand on his arm, and he blinked over at her.

“I’ve got this, don’t worry.” She whispered aside to him as an angry looking Eve climbed out of the car.

“Ezekiel, I can’t believe this! You dragged Cassandra down with you? After I practically begged you not to do this? No more Mr.Nice Guy, young man, i’m going to-” She stalked over, ranting in all her furious glory, but was cut short by Cassandra popping up in front of her. Cassandra folded her hands in front of herself and looked sheepishly up at Baird.

“Don’t be mad at Ezekiel, please, Officer Baird. He really wasn’t going to skip today, like you asked him too. But I had a really really bad morning, and I just needed an escape, so I asked Ezekiel to come with me because I was scared. If you’re going to be mad you should be mad at me, it was selfish and I shouldn’t have and i’ll take detention. And i’ll make sure Ezekiel stays in class from now on, I swear on my life. Even if that really isn’t much to swear on…”

Eve stared down at Cassandra, blown away by her long winded confession and her earnest promise. Ezekiel felt like his eyes were bugging out of his skull. _Why the hell was Cassandra lying for him?_

Eve was silent for a long moment, wrapping her head around everything Cassandra said. Then she glanced between the two of them.

“Uh, alright...well, if that’s the case, then i’m very disappointed in you, Mrs. Cillian. Detention for a week. And for you as well, Ezekiel. But I won’t ground you like I was planning, I suppose, unless you pull something again. Now, both of you, in the car. There’s still about half a day left.” Eve announced, jerking her thumb over her shoulder. Ezekiel snapped his jaws shut and hesitantly picked up the pizza box. He had no idea what had just happened.

Eve pointed a finger at Cassandra before the girl could move past her. “And _you_ better stay true to keeping that promise.” She said sternly.

“Yes, ma’am!”

\------------------

Jake had stuff to do for his dad after school, so it was just Ezekiel and Cassandra in detention.

“I think Jake’s mad at me for skipping.” Cassandra sighed as she flopped down at their library table next to Ezekiel. He shrugged.

“Well, you know how he is. He’s used to it from me, it’s a surprise from you.” Ezekiel shrugged. Then he paused for a moment, looking down at his phone instead of at her.

“Speaking of surprises...why did you do that?” Ezekiel finally worked up the courage to ask. Cassandra pulled her hood down a little more around her head, looking at him quizzically.

“Did what?” She asked.

“Stick your neck out like that, straight up lie to Baird’s face for me.” He prompted, still blown away by the act. Cassandra grinned.

“What are friends for?” She said simply, as if the answer was something he should have already known. Then she pulled out her book and carried on reading it as if everything was perfectly normal. All Ezekiel could do was glance at her from the corner of his eye, heart jumping hoops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come talk to me at queerseth.tumblr.com!
> 
> My youtube : kird0
> 
> haha the reynolds sure are some interesting characters I hope you guys are ready


	15. promises, promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra and Jake try and convince Ezekiel to give school a shot, not knowing just how familiar the situation is to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOUNTRACK: https://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/home-is-where-the-heart-is
> 
> [I added new songs yay ~]

_She was cramped inside of a coffin, and the plush satin inside seemed to grate against her as she struggled, beating against the lid. How could they put her in here, she wasn’t dead yet, she wasn’t dead yet, she wasn’t…_

_She struggled to turn onto her side, trying to find a weakness in the wood around her. But then suddenly, a cold feeling crept over her, and the darkness wrapped itself around her. Slowly, she turned around, feeling herself slowly go numb. There was another body lying next to hers, one that looked nearly identical to her. Nearly being the operative word. It had her face, her hair, her body...but her skin was falling apart and sunken in, and her eyes were dark and hollowed out, empty sockets with bits of eye and optic nerve shriveled up and hanging out._

_The demented look-a-like slowly smiled. Half her teeth were missing, gums rotted and peeling. Cassandra was frozen, terrified, transfixed._

_”Haven't you wasted your breath enough?”_

\-----------------

Cassandra woke with a start, heart hammering, and head hurting. She reached up to wipe the blood out from under her nose, and rolled over in bed. Her hands were shaking, so she wrapped her arms around herself and squeezed her eyes shut.

After a long while of laying in the dark, she sighed and got up, stretching her arms above her head. She picked up her phone, the pink case familiar in her palm.

 **Good Morning!!** She sent to the chat, with a bunch of her favorite emojis after it. To her surprise, both of the boys replied rather soon. Jake with a likewise greeting, Ezekiel with a random picture. Cassandra glanced at the clock. It was 4:09 AM.

 ** **You guys couldn’t sleep well either?** ** She asked.

 ** **Sleep is for da weak.** ** Ezekiel replied.

 ** **No, I just like getting up early.** ** Jake countered.

Cassandra got up to get dressed, but when she opened her closet, it was empty. The reality of what her parents were attempting crashed down on her. She wrapped her arms around herself, feeling like she’d been dunked in cold water. She thought for a few moments, before picking up her phone again.

 ** **Since you’re up so early, do you mind driving me to go buy some new clothes? My parents can’t take what they don’t know I have, right?** ** She asked **.**

 ** **Yeah, sure! Let me pull on some shoes and I’ll be right there.** ** Jake replied nearly instantly. Cassandra smiled.

 ** **What about you, Ezekiel? Would Baird let you come?** ** She asked.

****Probably not. I’m technically still grounded. But I’m not. I think it’s kind of a probation thing....tbh not the first time I’ve been on probation. Besides, why would you take me shopping, unless you’d like a lesson in how to wipe a store clean without buying a thing?** **

**Yeah, seriously, he’d get caught for shoplifting a dumb keychain or something and we’d be accomplices.** Jake butted in.

Cassandra rolled her eyes. She didn’t want them to start fighting, so she decided to change the subject.

 ** **Getaway driving aside, thanks so much for driving me everywhere Jake, I might just buy you a new car to pay you back.** ** She suggested.

 ** **Oh no, what will that do to his strong male ego? Better not risk it.** ** Ezekiel said, at the same time as Jake started rapidly double and triple messaging about how she really shouldn’t do that and how his truck was perfectly fine, thank you very much.

****\-----------------------------** **

Jake and Cassandra didn’t have time to go all the way to any nice places or the mall, so they settled for the nearest superstore that had a clothing section. She bought some cute dresses and leggings, and two new beanies. Jake gave her the thumbs up to everything she showed him, and she eventually rolled her eyes.

“You don’t really have an opinion at all, do you?” She asked. Jake leaned forward a little, clasping his hands together and giving her a warm smile.

“My opinion is that you look amazing in everything, so…” He admitted, shrugging. She felt her face flush and her face split into a grin, and she ducked her head a little to try and hide it.

They finished up once she had around a week’s worth of outfits that could be mixed and matched together, and then they checked out. Despite the fact they were just at a glorified grocery store, Jake blanched at the price. Cassandra just handed over her debit card without a sweat. She usually asked her parents before she bought anything over fifty dollars, but after what they’d done, she didn’t feel much remorse.

She made a struggle of changing into one of the outfits in the bathroom of a nearby gas station, while Jake waited outside.

“You look great!” Jake exclaimed, when she came out. She grinned and did a little spin so her skirt would flare up, then rocked back on her heels. Which seemed a silly thing to do, in the middle of a gas station.

“Want anything before we go?” Jake asked, jerking his head at the convenience store around them. Cassandra pursed her lips, and cocked her head.

“No, but maybe we could grab something for Ezekiel? To entice him to stay in class today? I feel kinda bad for enabling him the other day…” She sighed.

 **“** Why is him staying in class our problem?” Jake asked. Cassandra gave him a knowing look.

“You know why. Why do you think he doesn’t come to class, Jake? Have you actually seen him do anything nefarious of note yet?” She asked. Jake frowned, and then his shoulders sagged.

“Yeah, I’ve noticed. I think he doesn’t come to class...because he doesn’t think he’s smart enough, you know? Like with all that stuff with reading, and how he’s obviously been hurt...well, I don’t want to like, psychoanalyze anyone, but...it just seems to me like he thinks he isn’t good enough.” Jake shrugged. Cassandra nodded.

“He’s smart at the things he’s smart at, but if he tries hard enough I think he can get a good grasp of everything else. He just has to try, like Eve says.” Cassandra said, and they started to walk through the aisles, while Jake looked through the food and the candy before grabbing some beef jerky.

“You’re right, we’re his friends, even if he doesn’t really believe it. I think we can help him realize that it’s worth it to try.” Jake said, turning to smile at her. Cassandra rocked up on her tip toes in a burst of happiness at the emotions she was feeling.

\---------------

Ezekiel went to his first few classes, but he didn’t bother to do anything in them. Eve had been on him like white on rice, so he’d decided he’d lay low for the first few periods. But this guy Liam had wanted to talk to him about a job downtown, so he made his way for one of the maintenance doors during passing period, just to be safe.

And just when he thought he was in the clear, suddenly Cassandra had appeared in front of him, Jake by her side.

“Where are you going?” She asked. He blinked, feeling accosted.

“Uh, I’ve got some business to take care of, you can’t come this time, sorry-”

“What kind of business?” Jake demanded, raising an eyeball suspiciously. Ezekiel narrowed his eyes at the other boy.

“None of your business, that’s what kind of business. Now, if you excuse me-” Ezekiel pushed through the two of them towards the door, but was stopped by Jake grabbing at his wrist to stop him. Ezekiel flinched almost violently, knocking into Cassandra as he practically flew back. Cassandra hurried to put space between them, and Jake looked frozen, face full of regret.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to grab you, I just-”

 **“** What? You think you can just pull me around? Just because you don’t like what I do, you can drag me back and sit me down where you want me to be? It’s not going to work! What are you going to do, hold me down? _Tie me down?_ ” Ezekiel’s voice wavered slightly on that last note, but he swallowed it and stood up a little straighter, doing his best to look self important. “I didn’t ask to be here, I didn’t ask for your judgement!” Ezekiel said angrily, glaring at Jake, holding his own hand as if he’d been burned by the contact.

Cassandra wrung her hands together and opened and closed her mouth, distressed. Jake lowered his hand and let his shoulders sag a little, wanting to look less like a threat. He swallowed, and shook his head, and gave Ezekiel a surprisingly earnest smile. The kind of smile that he gave Cassandra all the time. Ezekiel’s anger was momentarily forgotten, and he felt his heart skip a beat to have that kind of look directed at him.

“I’m sorry, that was dumb. I - _we_ don’t want to force you to do anything. I want you to come to class with us. I want to be with you. I want to see you try because I know you can do more than you give yourself credit for.” Jake said, gesturing down the hallway, back the way Ezekiel had come.

Ezekiel furrowed his brow in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“You could get good grades if you tried! And we can help you! You can do it, if you believe in yourself as much as we believe in you.” Cassandra said empathetically, doing a little hopeful jump as she looked at him imploring. The bell rang, but none of them moved. Ezekiel stared at her for a moment. He didn’t want to do anything to show that they were right, but, they were. They were right, at least, about part of it. Damn, was he really that transparent?

 **“** Let me get this straight. I’m getting a _believe in yourself, work towards your dreams_ speech from _you?_ Are you fucking kidding me?” Ezekiel asked incredulously, turning to point a finger at Jake. Jake opened his mouth to reply, but then froze, and then shut it. Then he turned his head away. Cassandra and Ezekiel exchanged a glance. Ezekiel had expected an angry retort.

“You’re right, I’m a hypocrite. I-” Jake seemed to suddenly get emotional, looked at them, and then looked down at his boots. Ezekiel raised his eyebrows in alarm at how emotional the tension between them had suddenly gotten.

Jake stuck his hands in his pockets and then look up at him, locking him into a very heavy eye contact.

 **“** How about we make a deal? I’ll stop dumbing myself down in my classes if you start going to them, and _trying_.” Jake announced.

“How much do you dumb yourself down?” Ezekiel asked incredulously.

“I have a C+ average, that I pretended to struggle to get, but I did it on purpose. Math is the only class I actually have a hard time in.” Jake admitted. Cassandra’s eyes widened, and she looked between the two of them with an extremely excited gleam in her eyes.

Ezekiel bit the inside of his cheek, and glanced towards the access door. Then he huffed, and crossed his arms.

 **“** Fine, whatever. But only to get you to stop being a hypocrite, I’m not making any promises I’ll suddenly become an A student.” He said, shrugging casually, as if it wasn’t a big deal.

“But you’ll try?” Jake asked. Ezekiel was silent for a minute.

“Yeah. I’ll try. If you do.” He added, trying to keep the commitment he’d just made a mutual lock and key. Cassandra squealed and threw her arms around Ezekiel in excitement, making him stumble slightly. He let out an awkward laugh. He felt a sort of...weight lifting off him. But at the same time, his stomach churned with dread.

\-------------------

Cassandra and Jake joined in Eve’s crusade of keeping hawk-like eyes on him. Ezekiel did his homework every night, but he only got more confused and more stressed out. His teachers were letting him catch up on everything he’d missed, because of his _special circumstances_. Which really just meant pity. But regardless, he had a mountain of work and the only thing he was making any headway in was the math. The history was tedious, and hard to remember, science was complicated and he couldn’t make heads or tails of it. His electives were aright, since those were the only classes he was actually decent in. They were computer based, was the thing. But even then, he was behind, because all the time he’d been here he hadn’t done any work.

The worst was language arts. Now he had to read the dumb book about the firefighter who burned things _and_ the book the class was starting, which was about killing birds or something. Public school was fucking weird.

The words swam in front of his face and his head hurt, and he just- he just didn’t care! What was the point?

Ezekiel groaned, putting his head in his arms on top of his desk. This was pointless. Didnt he have better things to do?

But he’d made a promise. But since when had he ever been good at keeping promises?

\--------------------------

_”What are you doing home before me?” Cam John’s voice from behind him. Ezekiel as sitting at the kitchen table, hunched over slightly. He didn’t turn to look at his foster father._

_”There wasn’t any point in staying at school, so I left.”_ _He clarified, trying to sound casual. There was a beat of heavy silence, as John sighed, and slowly walked around to sit across from him at the table. Ezekiel glanced up at him. John folded his hands in front of him, and gave Ezekiel a serious look. John was a large, sturdy man, with salt and pepper hair and a perfectly groomed, plump moustache. He had smile lines around his eyes, and the calluses of a military man on his hands._

_”Why do you insist on blowing off your education? This is the last time i’ll allow this without serious consequences, Ezekiel. You can tell me why, Ezekiel. I’ve gathered you don’t think you belong there, but that’s bullshit. Everyone belongs in a learning environment and you know it, it’s how humanity works. You’re human, aren’t you? You want to learn.” John said quizzically._

_“I want to, but I can’t.” Ezekiel muttered, casting his eyes downward. John raised his eyebrows._

_”Ah, there it is. Well, you’re wrong. You learned to steal. To skateboard. You learned to hack. You learned to talk, to walk, to be a pain in the ass to people who are trying to help you. That was a bad joke, i’m sorry.” He added. Ezekiel gave a weak smirk._

_“Nah, it was a good one. Goes to show an old horse can still kick.” He replied dryly._

_John huffed. “Trust me, I can do more than kick. And that’s the side of me you don’t want to meet. But that’s besides the point, let’s not change the subject. You obviously can learn, and learn to do things well, at an extraordinarily young age. Even if the things you learned to do aren’t good things. So why do you refuse to try with the important things? What makes you so sure that you can’t accomplish what we ask of you?”_ _John implored, voice both firm and gentle. Ezekiel looked up at him, feeling as if he was on the precipice of a great divide. His heart ached with the heavy weight on it. A weight nobody had ever cared about, a heart nobody cared about. Before now. Didn’t that count for something?_

_**”** I didn’t know my mother. I can’t remember her at all.” The words came out of him before he even realized it. He clenched his hands together, but didn’t take this action back.John nodded slightly, making no sudden movements, and still looking imploringly into his eyes with the kind of attention Ezekiel had never before been offered by another living thing. That called to him and made his soul ache, and he never wanted it to stop._

_”Is she…?” John asked gently, words meandering away into a realm of implications._

_”Dead?” Ezekiel filled into bluntly. He shook his head, shrugging at the same time. “I don’t know. She could be. Or she could have left. Or she could have been in jail, or my father left with me and never told her, I don’t know. I don’t know a single thing about her, besides the fact that she named me. I don’t know her. But I knew my father.”_ _He explained, breath painful as it exited his lungs. He had never opened up about this, or about anything, to anyone. Because he’d never had anyone to open up to. It was a sharp, yet soothing feeling. As if the pain of the act was relieving the long standing pain inside of him, even if only a tiny bit._

_”Your father? Did he raise you?” John asked. Ezekiel chuckled, shaking his head, the laughter of a dark, bitter breed._

_”No, he didn’t. It’s a miracle I survived being a baby. He was an addict, and a prostitute, and I don’t think he even looked in my direction as long as I can remember. He didn’t care about me at all. I wasn’t even there to him. I was nothing. I didn’t even...exist. I just didn’t matter. I never have, and I never will. I didn’t go to school until I was like ten, and got put into my first foster home, back in Australia. Even those people didn’t care. It’s just how thing are. The only things I can do are steal and hack and cheat, so, why bother trying to be anything else? It’s not like i’ll ever be able to do anything that really matters. It’s nice of you to think that I could, but, I...just can’t.” Ezekiel shrugged, looking back down at his hands. “You’re just wasting your time.”_

_ ”I beg to differ. I’ve met a million cases like you, Ezekiel. Kids who didn’t matter, who where screw ups, who didn’t care, who were hardwired to do the wrong thing. If you put your faith in me, in us, you won’t regret it. If you do what we tell you, and work with us, you’ll become someone who matters, I promise. You can be that person, you can be someone worth caring about. All you have to do is what we say.” John said firmly, earnestly, reaching across the table to squeeze Ezekiel’s hand. Ezekiel looked up at him in surprise, and slight disbelief. It sounded too good to be true. But John...looked so sincere. Like he really could change Ezekiel. _

_“I’m willing to put in the effort if you are, Jones.” John finished. Ezekiel swallowed thickly, and hesitantly squeezed his hand back._

_“I’ll try.”_

_“You promise me?”_

_“I promise.”_

\----------------------------------------------

Ezekiel leaned forward and put his head in his hands as waves of emotions rolled over him, and something deep inside of him twisted. He’d broken his promise. He’d let John and Maria down. He’d turned them into something else, driven them to do...things. But it was all his fault. He’d been too stubborn, too stupid, too selfish. He hadn’t been worth their effort. They’d believed that he could be someone worth caring about, they had believed they’d be able to change him. But they’d been wrong. He hadn’t been worth their effort. And he certainly hadn’t been worth the toll it had taken on them.

And here he was, like an idiot, repeating the process. It wouldn't be long before he drove these new people in the same direction. And they deserved better than that.


	16. stirring up the dust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake spends the night at Ezekiel's, to help him with his History.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOUNDTRACK:  
> http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/home-is-where-the-heart-is
> 
> [I have, once again, added new songs!]

Eve hummed happily to herself as she flipped the finished pancakes onto the plate in her hand, and slide it in front of Ezekiel. Then she loaded her own plate and sat down next to him to grab the syrup.

“Are you excited for school today?” She asked. This earned her an incredulous stare, and she shrugged.

“What? You’ve been doing well recently.” She said. Ezekiel looked back down at his plate as he cut into the pancakes with his fork.

“Doesn’t mean I’m enjoying it.” He muttered.

“You will.”

“Whatever you say, Baird.” He replied, and she decided to change the subject.

“So, when are you going to have Cassandra and Jake over again?” She asked.

He gave her a strange look. “They only ever came over here of their volition, without even asking me. I didn’t _have_ them over.” He corrected. Eve raised an eyebrow.

“Why not? They’re good friends. Those video games you play are multiplayer, aren’t they?” Eve suggested. Ezekiel just gave another weird look, and returned his attention to his pancakes.

“I think you should invite them over. I’ll even make myself scarce, if that would make it more comfortable.” Eve suggested. Ezekiel’s gaze flicked back up to her.

“You’d trust three teenagers alone in your house, one of which has an extensive criminal record?” He asked.

“I trust a girl who see’s the best in everyone, a boy who pretends he’s dumber than he is and taught himself Greek in secret. And I trust the kid that went out of his way to take care of a hurt animal and bit off my head about keeping him. So, yeah, I think my livelihood will be safe in the hands of those kids.” Eve said primly. Ezekiel felt himself flush slightly, then narrowed in on another part of that sentence to change the subject.

“Wait, Jake taught himself Greek?”

“And Latin. And French. And Spanish, Russian, German. And a bunch of ones I’ve never heard of. Him and Flynn talk about it all the time. Flynn’s the only teacher he let’s see the real side of him. That boy’s fluent in more languages than I can read subtitles for.” Eve sighed, shaking her head.

Ezekiel frowned down at his pancakes, thinking about the other boy. He really did act so dumb. He was a genius, and Ezekiel had _known_ that...but it blew him away the more he really got proof of it. He must really like his family business and this town, if he went to such an effort to make it seem like he belonged here. But that just...it didn’t make sense to Ezekiel. What was the point of living a life where you weren’t striving for something?

He knew what he wanted, what he could do, what he was striving for.

…did he really, though?  
\-----------------

A few days later, and Ezekiel felt like someone was trying to scalp him. He stared down at the history textbook in front of him, and at the pile of worksheets in front of him. As the hours of the night ticked by, it felt more and more like a looming mountain. It had to all be done by Monday, and it was Saturday night. He suddenly felt so hopeless he wanted to scream and cry and sleep all at once. What was the _point?_

But he’d made a promise, he had to do this. If he didn’t get all of this late work done by Monday he’d fail the class. It was a make or break situation. He wanted to just give up, but he couldn’t. Jake’s grades had all suddenly skyrocketed from C’s to A+’s, even in math. He was keeping his part of the bargain. The worst part was, Flynn had already given him more time than he should have to do this work. The guy was giving him beyond special treatment and Ezekiel was still floundering like a fish out of water.

Ezekiel’s eyes roamed towards his phone, and then towards the clock at the bottom of his laptop screensaver. It was six in the afternoon. Was Jake busy? Should he really ask for help? What if Jake didn’t want to help him?

Only one way to find out.

He reached towards his phone, and then pulled back again. His heart fluttered slightly. His mind started to think about what if Jake _did_ come over. Just them. Alone, in Ezekiel’s bedroom. As the sky got darker and darker. He could already see the way Jake’s face would light up the more he started talking about this history stuff, the way he couldn’t help but get excited as he explained just how important some event or discovery was. They’d both be sitting at the desk, they’d be close...he’d probably be able to smell that cologne Jake used, that smelled like leather and something unnameable.

Ezekiel’s face was already heating up, and he ran a hand through his hair. Too many things could go wrong in a situation like that. But then again...wasn’t having to control himself around that adorable jerkface for a little worth not letting him down on their promise?

Ezekiel scrubbed his face and tried to compose himself, and then grabbed the phone and hit Jake’s contact. He thrummed his fingers nervously against his desk as it rang a few times. Ezekiel couldn’t decide what he was hoping for - Jake picking up, or him not.

But regardless, he picked up. **“Hello? Ezekiel? Are you in trouble? Did you find another dog?”** Jake immediately investigated. Ezekiel blinked.

”Uh, no. Nothing like that. It’s all good in the hood.” He said with a nervous laugh. Then he silently cursed himself - _good in the hood?_ Who the hell said that anymore? He didn’t even live in the hood right now!

**“Oh. Well, that’s good...so, what do you need? What’s the word?”** Jake asked. Little did Ezekiel know, across town, the southern boy silently cursed himself for using such a phrase. It sounded even more awkward in his accent.

“Well, uh…” Ezekiel cleared his throat, glancing towards the stack of homework on his desk. “You know how I have to have all my late work for Carson in by Monday, last chance?” He asked.

**“Yeah, you were talking about it at lunch. You told him it was almost done.”** Jake recalled. Ezekiel pursed his lips and swallowed, raising his eyebrows as he spun around aimlessly in his computer chair.

“Yeah, well...I may have stretched the truth just a tiny bit. And I’m...well, I’m really stuck. I just...I can’t-” Ezekiel sighed, and closed his eyes, scrubbing a hand over his face. He felt shame and fear bubble up in him, and he suddenly felt far too vulnerable.

“Actually, I’m sorry, this was dumb, I’m sorry for bothering you-” He started to retract hurriedly, but Jake cut him off.

**“Jones. It’s not dumb. It’s important, and I’m really happy you’re trying. There’s nothing wrong with having a hard time. Almost everyone does.”** Jake said, voice soothing. Ezekiel looked down at his shoes.

_You don’t._ He said to himself, but didn’t dare say it out loud. He bucked himself up again, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Uh, yeah. The point was...I was wondering if, maybe, if you wanted to, of course, you might be able to, uh...come over and give me a hand?” He asked, and then practically threw himself out of the chair in regret. _Give me hand?_ That was the gayest thing he could have said! This sounded like the beginning of every porno _ever_. Why was he being so god damn awkward? He, Ezekiel Jones, who had once seduced two rival gang lords into a threesome, then crawled out the window of the bathroom while pretending to wash up before they even got down to business whatsoever.

Jake gave a breathy laugh, and Ezekiel froze. He didn’t know what he was waiting for, but suddenly felt on the edge of his seat.

**“Yeah, sure, I’d love to. Although, it’s pretty late…”** Jake said, sounding like he was reconsidering.

“You could spend the night?” Ezekiel blurted out, before he could stop himself. He slapped a hand over his mouth. What the fuck? What the fuck was he thinking? He’d never had a sleepover in his life, did teenage boys even have sleepovers? Would Eve be okay with it? How did sleepovers work, oh, god, would they both sleep in his room? The same house was bad enough, holy shit, what was he thinking. The only thing that would make this situation worse was if Cassandra joined them. Jesus, if that happened he’d definitely resume his long standing habit of climbing out windows and bailing into the night.

**“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea, if Baird’s cool with it.”**

“I have a feeling she’ll be alright with it.” Ezekiel swallowed, heart pounding it’s way up into his throat. “She’s been bugging me about having friends over.” Oh, shit, did he just say friend? He wasn’t supposed to say that! Maybe he wouldn’t notice. Better change the subject. “Uh, what about your dad?”

The air on the other side of the phone grew tense, and there was a beat of silence, and Ezekiel suddenly felt horrified he’d said the wrong thing.

**“My dad ain’t been home from the bar, in like, a week. A big deal went through...I text him telling him if I’m going somewhere, ya know, in case something happens, but otherwise it doesn’t really matter.”** Jake said, trying and failing to sound casual. Ezekiel frowned. A week? The bar? Better not to press.

“Well, uh, then let me run and ask Baird, hold on.” He said, and pressed the phone to his shoulder as he jumped up, and headed down the hall to Baird’s office. He knocked on the door. She answered, raising an eyebrow. He rarely came to seek her out. He gave her an awkward smile, rubbing the back of his neck.

“What’s up, kiddo?” She asked, leaning against the doorframe.

“Uh, would it be cool if Jake spent the night? To, just, help me with my history work and stuff. I’ve gotta get all this done by Monday and-”

“It’s great!” Eve interrupted, grinning. “I don’t have a problem as long as his folks say it’s alright. Those two are welcome anytime.”

Ezekiel nodded, and moved to go back down the hall. He froze when Eve grabbed his shoulder, whipping to look back at her. She was looking at him with an unfamiliar grin.

“Although, this should go without saying, but no funny business.” She said sternly, with a twinkle in her eyes. Ezekiel felt his face go uncharacteristically red, and he opened and closed his mouth.

“What is that supposed to mean?” He finally asked. Eve raised an eyebrow.

“You tell me, Lover Boy.” She replied primly. He stared at her.

“That is _not_ -” He exclaimed, but was cut off by Eve laughing and shutting the door in his face. He huffed, shaking his head, returning the phone to his ear.

“She said yes.”

“I heard.” Jake replied, sounding amused. Ezekiel felt the world drop out from under him.

“You- you heard all of that?” He asked, petrified. But Jake only laughed.

**“Don’t worry about it, dude, family teases you. I’ll be over soon. Want me to pick something up to eat, cause I haven’t eaten...but if you have that’s cool.”** Jake offered. Ezekiel forgot his own mortification, as an idea suddenly nagged at his mind.

“Have you been eating out all week?” He inquired.

**“How did you know that?”** Jake asked, surprised.

“Well, you’ve only had lunch with you like, twice, and each time it was a burger. Why would you be eating out so much, don’t you hate fast food?” He asked.

**“I don’t _hate_ it. I just prefer home cooked food. Fast food settles wrong, you know?”** Jake explained.

“That gets harder to believe every time you tell it to me. Why are you eating it then? Cassandra says you’re a great cook.” Ezekiel said, frowning thoughtfully. There was a beat of silence.

**“Well, uh, you kinda need food in order to cook…”** Jake explained hesitantly, sounding very uncomfortable. Ezekiel blinked, feeling even more like an idiot. Once he realized what Jake was talking about, he wanted to find whatever bar that asshole was holed up in and give him a good ass kicking.

“Yeah, well, forget it for tonight. You don’t have to pick anything up, I’ll make us dinner, Baird practically hoards food she can’t cook well here, so it works.” Ezekiel announced.

**“What? You can cook?”** Jake exclaimed in surprise. Ezekiel headed back into his room, picking up a few stray pieces of clothes.

“Why does that surprise everyone so much?” He demanded.

**”You literally consider pizza bagels to be a gourmet dish.”** Jake drawled. Ezekiel could practically hear the exact expression the other boy had adopted, and he grinned.

“Are you really going to keep insisting they’re not?” He asked. There was a beat of silence, and he could imagine Jake shaking his head.

**“Whatever, sounds like a plan. I’ll be over there soon, so i’ll have to let you go.”** Jake said, as way of bading farewell, for now.

“Alright, bye. See you soon. I’ll get the bagel bites out to thaw.”

**“You- you know what? I’m just going to hang up.”** Jake said, and the line went dead. Ezekiel tucked the phone into his back pocket, and turned around. In the reflection on his window, he saw that his face was split into a giant smile. He dropped it, and then looked down at Stumpy, who was curled up on the window seat. The one-eyed dog cocked his little head up at Ezekiel, as if silently asking him a question. Ezekiel sighed.

“Stumpy, I am completely screwed.”

\---------------------------------------

Jake packed a bag with his history notes, a change of clothes, along with his laptop and chargers. Then he threw his laundry into his closet and shot his dad a text about where he was going for the weekend, in case his dad came home while he was gone. Not that he cared.  
He paused at the living room door, and took a moment to look back at the dark, empty house. On the mantle, in the glint of the moonlight coming in from the window, he could make out the faded picture of his mother. Back when he’d first been born. It had been years since anyone had touched anything on the mantle, and it was all covered in layers and layers of dust.  
Jake’s eyes moved over to the empty space at the side of the room, where a rocking chair had only just recently been. His father had broken it in a drunken rage the first night after the deal went through, and then he’d stormed out, leaving Jake to pick up the pieces and throw them away. His father would never say it, but he was always going to regret breaking that chair. It had been one of the first pieces of furniture he and his wife had bought for their new house. It had been the chair his mother had nursed him in as a baby, Jake knew, from the pictures in the photo album. A photo album which he hid under his floorboards, for fear his father may someday destroy it in another fit of drunken rage.

**J** ake sighed, and turned his back on the empty house, locking the door behind him. The drive to Baird’s house wasn’t long, but it gave him far too much time alone with his thoughts. It was with the utmost surge of relief that he parked in front of his destination, and made his way quickly up the pathway. He took the front porch steps two at a time, and rapped his knuckles on the door. Almost instantly, Ezekiel was opening the door, and he was…

“Is that...an apron?” Jake asked, dumbfounded as he stared at the other boy. Ezekiel’s eyes widened and he looked down at the pink cloth.

“It was the only one she had, alright? These pants are worth a hundred dollars, thank you very much, i’m not getting spaghetti sauce on them.” Ezekiel said primly, moving aside to let Jake in. Jake laughed.

“No, no, I think it’s cute. Wait, a hundred dollars? Who the hell spends a hundred bucks on _jeans?_ ” Jake exclaimed as he followed Ezekiel through the foyer. Ezekiel shrugged.

“Not me. Stole these, fair and square.” He replied over his shoulder.

“Well, if they were going for a hundred bucks, i’ll give you that one. They’re the crooks in that situation…” Jake muttered, forever flabbergasted by the amount of money people spent on supposedly better clothes. Ezekiel led him into the kitchen, and he stopped as his sense where assaulted with the alluring scent of garlic and simmering sauce. His stomach audibly growled, and he took a seat at the island counter as Ezekiel went to stir the sauce.

“That smells amazing.” Jake sighed.

“Not as amazing as bagel bites.” Ezekiel said haughtily. Jake rolled his eyes.

“Agree to disagree. So, you’ve been doing pretty well in school.” Jake said, sitting up a little straighter to address a serious matter. Ezekiel paused in his stirring, a bitter taste stinging the back of his mouth.

“Yeah, don’t humor me.” He muttered.

“I’m not. I’m serious. You’ve come really far, you’ve been trying really hard, and that’s what matters. Grades are important, but they don’t define you. I hope you don’t get confused by that, that’s not what we wanted.” Jake said, propping his chin on his hands. Ezekiel didn’t reply, instead busying himself with pulling down the dinnerware they needed and dishing them both up. He turned to Jake, holding up the plates.

“Wanna eat in here, in the living room, or in my room?” Ezekiel asked.

“Where are we gonna be working?” Jake asked.

“My room. Unless you don’t want to.” Ezekiel added quickly. Jake shook his head.

“No, sounds like a plan. We should eat up there, so we can get started as soon as possible.” Jake said, sliding off the kitchen stool and stooping to grab his bag and sling it over his shoulder. He followed Ezekiel and the wafting scent of the pasta up the stairs, and moved forward as they entered the hallway to open the door for the other boy, since Ezekiel was carrying both their plates.

The two of them settled in the two computer chairs, Ezekiel having brought another one in from the office, and enjoyed their meal as Jake started to look through Ezekiel’s work.

“Yeah, these worksheets aren’t hard to finish, but it’s a lot of information to take in. Carson has a tendency to get really...into things.” Jake said, leafing through the papers. Ezekiel swallowed his mouthful of food and quirked his eyebrows as he replied.

“Yeah, i’ve noticed.”

And so they started working, with Jake doing his best to explain the key concepts to Ezekiel in ways he would understand and remember. Just as Ezekiel had predicted, he got swept up in it, and his eyes sparkled. His hands moved like he was trying to paint the very picture in front of them, and the passion in his voice made Ezekiel feel like maybe history wasn’t so dumb after all. Jake could be a stubborn asshole, and a hypocrite, but he only wanted the best, for everyone besides himself. And Ezekiel was starting to get the idea that that drunk father of his was to blame. Why were there so many shitty parents? People like Jake and Cassandra deserved better than to have people crush their passions and dreams, or take away the only good things they had when they had a death sentence ticking away. And here Ezekiel was, with someone like Eve. He didn’t deserve any of them, did he?

Eve stopped by to say goodnight after a while, and took their cleared plates down to the kitchen for them. Jake was very sincere in his thanks to her, and Ezekiel decided not to thank her at all.

As the night wore on and they grueled through chapter by chapter, Ezekiel found he could focus less and less on what Jake was saying, and more and more on just how little space was between them. By the time nine hit, Eve popped her head back in the door. This caused Stumpy to wake up from his nap, and he started to beat his tail against the window seat when he saw her.

“You two need to get to sleep, you can finish the rest tomorrow. Are you both sleeping up here, or should I put some bedding on the couch? Which I wouldn’t recommend, that couch needs to be replaced…” She added, grimacing. Ezekiel and Jake looked at each other, awkardly, both waiting for the other to say something. Ezekiel was so tired, he felt like his eyes here trying to claw themselves closed.

“I’ve never had a sleepover before, I don’t know, up here’s fine if that’s not weird? I could sleep on the floor.” Ezekiel finally said, throwing his hands up a little.

“No, no, i’m the guest, i’ll sleep on the floor.” Jake said, in all his pristine southern manners glory. Ezekiel just shrugged.

“Alright then, i’ll bring some spare bedding in. Ezekiel, have you fed Stumpy yet tonight?” Eve asked. Ezekiel blinked at her, then over at the dog.

“Shit, no, i’ll get on that.” He said. Eve disappeared from the doorway, and Ezekiel shut the history book as the two of them stood up.

“I’ll go feed the dog, you can change in here or in the bathroom, it doesn’t matter. C’mon Stumpy, c’mere…” He turned from Jake to the dog, adopting his slightly higher pitched, baby voice that he used for animals, patting his hands against his thighs. Stumpy cocked his head for a moment, before his ears perked and he scrambled off the window seat and over to rub against his legs. Ezekiel led Stumpy out of the room and down the stairs, trying not to think about the possibility of a naked Jake in his very room while he poured the kibble in the bowl. He pet Stumpy a few times while the dog started to chow down on his dinner, before returning to his room. He paused at the doorway, deciding it would be safer to knock.

“I’m decent.” Jake called, and Ezekiel entered the room to find Eve had delivered the extra bedding in his absence. Jake was in plaid pajama pants and a gray t shirt, spreading the blankets on the floor. The second computer chair had been taken out, most likely by Eve, to make space.

“Aren’t you going to change?” Jake asked. Ezekiel realized he’d been kinda, just, standing there. He blinked again.

“Oh, yeah.” He remembered, and headed over to the closet. The closet was empty save for his suitcase laying on the bottom of it, and a laundry hamper. Ezekiel ruffled through his suitcase for a pair of sweats. The shirt he was wearing was the kind he could wear to bed without any problems, why bother changing it?

“You still have all your clothes in your suitcase?” Jake asked from behind him. Ezekiel turned to look at him, frowning.

“So?” He asked, not understanding the question. Jake looked up at him with an unrecognizable emotion in his eyes, furrowing his brow.

“It’s been...months.” Jake carried on, tilting his head slightly up at the other boy. Ezekiel decided to leave that bridge unfinished, and crossed the room.

“I’m going to go change in the bathroom, i’ll be right back.” He explained, as he headed into the hall. When he returned, Jake was lying in his makeshift bed, scrolling through his phone. Ezekiel switched the light off and shut the door behind him. He tossed his jeans into the hamper, and stepped around Jake to crawl into his own bed. He wiggled under the covers and then collapsed back onto the pillow with a huff.

“I hate education.” He lamented into the moonlit room.

“Knowledge loves you. The American Education system? It wants to break your kneecaps and step on your spine.” Came the drawing, dry reply from the floor. Ezekiel laughed, a tired, yet appreciative laugh. There was a beat of silence.

“What was school like Australia?” Jake asked. Ezekiel hesitated. A large part of him wanted to lie, because telling the truth might reveal too much of himself. Which was something he always hoped to avoid. But he also hated lying.

“I wouldn’t really know.” He answered, swallowing thickly. Another breath of silence.

“Did you leave there young?” Jake questioned, tone of voice betraying how he was trying to paint a picture in his mind. Trying to compose and understanding of Ezekiel, which was something the thief was terrified of. And something he longed for, not that he would admit it. He really didn’t like this, this exposure, when he was so tired and so infatuated, how could he stand to find some web to weave? The darkness made everything seem so much more confidential.

“Not relatively, no.” He said, voice soft. He stared at the ceiling, eyes drawn sluggishly by how the shadows changed as clouds swam through the sky, choking off the moonlight in an aimless pattern. Clouds rarely had a pattern. Save, perhaps, the water cycle. The way they gathered up the lifeblood of the world, and then cried when they could no longer bear the weight.

This silence settled for a longer time, as if Jake were hesitant to speak what he longed to speak. But the tension radiating from the other boy was obvious. Try as he might, the curious cat could not be deterred.

“Then how could you not know-” He finally asked, desire to understand breaking the dam between them. Ezekiel felt raw, exhausted, like he was sinking into the mattress. The emotions he so-well kept in check burned his throat, and he just didn’t have the composure or the strength this late to give a damn.

“I didn’t go to school!” Rang his angry reply, snapping out of him like an arrow from a bow. The lack of noise between them that followed was less silence, and more a pulse of something unhearable.

“I didn’t start school till I was like, eleven. And then I ran away, then I got caught, and had to start again. Over and over. Start, stop, start, stop. So excuse me, _Mr. IQ of 190_ , if I didn’t really ever get enough time to pay attention to what school was even like.” He muttered bitterly, words curt and cut off, as he regretted every one that flew out, but could not seem to reel them back in. He crossed his arms, as if to pull himself back in, and curled onto his side with his back to Jake’s side of the room.

And then the silence settled like dust, like the same ancient dust that coated everything in Jake’s house that wasn’t a bottle or a tool. Sometimes, Jake felt like that dust was underneath his skin, choking who he was and providing a place for the lies to grow.

“I’m-” Jake started to apologize, after what seemed like an eternity of remorse, even though he had no way of knowing if the other boy was even still awake. But he was cut off.

“Don’t be. I’m just being crabby. Once I get tired, I’m more than a little bitchy.” Ezekiel muttered.

“I don’t blame you. But i’m still sorry. I should have left you alone.” Jake finished. That seemed to sate the monster of tension that filled the room, and the pressure eased away. Jake turned over to find a more comfortable position, sated with his stance on the matter.

Ezekiel stared at the back of his eyelids, feeling like he had never been sure of anything in his life. But one thing he did know, was that being left alone was something he asked for in everything he did. Everything he said, everything he stole and every impression he gave. It was all a cry into the wavelengths of human communication, _leave me, leave me, leave me_.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[I made an aesthetic edit thingy for this fic, warning for like, slight spoiler at the bottom? Other wise I hope you guys like it!]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	17. the first rule of fight club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a moment of weakness, Ezekiel steps right into a giant pile of trouble, which will have repercussions nobody could predict.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOUNDTRACK:  
> http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/home-is-where-the-heart-is
> 
> WARNINGS: lots of slurs, vulgar language, and violence

The weekend went smoothly from then on out. They worked hard, with the occasional interruption of Eve checking in on them. Despite his raging headache, Ezekiel was surprised to find he actually retained the majority of what Jake explained to him. Despite how distracting Jake himself might have been. All in all, it was a successful two days. They finished a little past noon on Sunday, and then had some sandwiches. 

“I suppose i’ll be going home now.” Jake said, as he set his dishes in the sink. He said so with a heavy heart. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to come home to an empty house again, or if he wanted to come home to his drunk father. 

Ezekiel was sitting at the counter, and tried not to show a reaction to the idea. “Only if...you want to.” He replied, shrugging. Jake didn’t seem that keen on going home, his shoulders sagged the minute he mentioned it. Jake turned to look at him.

“Really? I mean, it’s not a big deal. Do you have more work you need help with?” Jake asked, trying to sound casual.

“We don’t have to do work, we can just...hang out. I just got the new Star Wars movie.” Ezekiel mentioned. Jake’s eyes lit up.

“Shit, really? Cassandra was just about to buy that so that we could watch it.” Jake said. Ezekiel sat up straighter.

“Then why don’t you invite her over? We can all watch it.” Ezekiel suggested. Jake smiled at the idea, and then hesitated. 

“Three’s a bit of a crowd, are you sure Eve would be alright with that? And alright with me be over past my welcome, I was only coming over to help-” Jake worried, shifting uncomfortably. Ezekiel held up a hand.

“Dude, seriously. Get your knickers out of ya twist. She’s been legit bugging me constantly about having you guys over.” Ezekiel explained.

“Well, sounds like a plan, how about you text her?” Jake suggested. Ezekiel frowned.

“Why not you? You’re her boyfriend.” Ezekiel replied. Jake’s eyes widened, and he seemed to go rigid.

“What? No! We aren’t dating! We’re just friends, you know that!” Jake exclaimed. Ezekiel huffed, rolling his eyes as he stood up, turning to walk into the living room.

“Sure. Keep telling yourself that, Cowboy.” Ezekiel snickered, despite the bitter taste at the back of his throat. Jake watched him leave the room, frowning uncomfortably. Then he decided to shake the accusation away, and pulled out his phone.

 **Hey, Cassie, what’s up?** He shot over. And, of course, got a near instant reply.

 **Rereading some Einstein. What about you? Still at Ezekiel’s place?** Cassandra asked. 

**Yeah, but we finished our work, and now we just want to hang out. Thing is, Ezekiel has the new Star Wars. Wanna come over and watch it?** Jake explained. 

**I’M ALREADY HALFWAY THERE!!** Came the response, and Jake laughed, and called to Ezekiel that she was coming.

\-----------

They had a great rest of the day, until they eventually had to part ways. Jake returned to an empty house, while Cassandra returned to a home full of people with empty hearts. Ezekiel laid awake that night, worrying over both of them. And worrying over his own heart, and the trepidations that would not cease. He hugged Stumpy tightly, letting the dog’s soft warmth and affectionate nuzzling comfort him from the coldness. The coldness that lived, deep down inside of him. Like a sliver of ice kept his heart from bleeding.

Monday, Tuesday came and went, and the three of them spent hours after school each day, bothering Jenkins with questions about his time travelling the world when he was younger. Jenkins did a good job of presenting a grouchy, reclused facade. But eventually, he couldn’t help but melt a little around them. He slowly got more and more caught up in retelling the exploits of his youth. His eyes would acquire a gleam, as he stared off into the distance, a nostalgic smile tracing it’s way over his weathered features. Not only were his stories themselves entrancing, but he told them with such graceful words. Ezekiel sometimes felt like he was really there, like for a moment, it was he who was in the front row of an AC/DC concert next to the President’s daughter, or it was he who was standing on a mountaintop in Nepal with nothing but a broken flute and a reformed drug addict named Loraine.

It wasn’t until Wednesday that things took a turn. The night before, he’d been supposed to finish reading the firefighter book. He was barely even started, and the rest of the class was nearly done with murdering a mockingbird, whatever that meant. But he’d been so busy trying to finish his late math work, he’d said fuck it to the books the night before. Which he now regretted, immensely, because he was sitting in language arts, debating what to do. He knew McGuire hated him. He hadn’t liked him before, with how much of a lazy teenage stereotype he was, but now that Eve had busted his balls over the reading incident, McGuire held a hate in his heart for Ezekiel Jones that could rival the heat of the stars. And he had been reluctant to give Ezekiel the extension he already had on the reading. And now that Ezekiel had blown that off? He was fucked.

The class was almost drawing to a close. McGuire had told him to stay after class today, to turn in the assigned reading comprehension worksheets. However, when the bell rang, Ezekiel made a last ditch effort, slinging his bag over his shoulder and trying to head casually towards the door.

“Mr. Jones, stay to see me!” McGuire called. Ezekiel froze in his tracks, dreading his very existence. Jake clapped him on the shoulder and Cassandra tilted her head as they kept walking.

“We’ll wait for you!” She called, as they exited the classroom. Ezekiel adjusted the strap of his messenger bag, spinning around on his heel and approaching the desk. McGuire fixed him with eyes that poured poison, and Ezekiel gulped again. McGuire had a hard time keeping his rude, entitled mouth shut in front of the entire class. What was he going to unleash on Ezekiel, alone, knowing Ezekiel was less than likely to report anything? Ezekiel suddenly wished Cassandra and Jake had actually stayed in the classroom with him. 

McGuire crossed his arms. “I’m judging by your expression, you haven’t done a damned thing.” 

Ezekiel swallowed his pride, and rubbed the back of his neck. “Look, I was going to, but it’s just...really hard, when I try to read, it just doesn’t make sense with those long pages of nothing but words and I had other homework to do-”

McGuire’s expression turned sour, and he leaned forward. “Cut the excuses. You didn’t do it because you didn’t care. These newfangled _”learning disabilities,”_ ” He spat the word with venom, “are just ways to make money off of lazy, good for nothing youngsters like yourself. You’re going to fail this class, Mr. Jones. And based on what I know from your other teachers, you’ll fail the rest of them. You’re the kind of people that get spit out of highschool. You’ll end up back in whatever gutter you came from, and you’ll get sent off to jail one day and I have a serious feeling nobody’s going to care, so how about you get out of my sight and stop wasting my time and space.” He hissed angrily. 

Ezekiel stared at him, blown away by how utterly unadulterated his words were. They hit him right in the gut, and they rang with truth. It was like suddenly, he could hear John in his ear, he was back in that house, and his heart started to sink. His hands began to shake, so he shoved them in his pockets. He clenched his jaw, spun around, bowing his head as he made for the door as quickly as possible. 

Cassandra and Jake were at the end of the hallway to the left, talking to some girl named Lucy. He walked fast, head bowed, in the opposite direction. By the time they turned to see him, all they saw was him whipping around the corner with a vengeance. They turned to look at each other in confusion.

“Isn’t that you’re friend, the thief, who keeps getting caught because he really wants to get caught?” Lucy asked casually, cocking an eyebrow. The two teenagers turned to blink at her.

“What? What makes you say that, you’ve never even met him.” Cassandra said, affronted. Lucy shrugged.

“I may have eavesdropped on one of the many times Officer Baird caught him trying to get out of the school. It was pretty obvious.” She shrugged. Jake and Cassandra blinked at her a little more.

“Uh, yeah, well, we better go meet him in our next class then.” Jake said, as way of biding goodbye.

“You might not have much luck with that.” Lucy replied. 

“Why do you say that?” Cassandra asked.

“Because he’s going the opposite direction of your next class. Bye, then.” Lucy said, turning and waving goodbye. Cassandra and Jake whipped to look at each other again, before they both sagged and started to jog the way Ezekiel went. 

\-------------

“We’re like fifteen minutes late, where the hell is he?” Jake hissed angrily as they searched the maintenance hallway behind the kitchens. 

“Do you think he’s already gone?” Cassandra asked, worrying.

“He better not be, not after the deal we made.” Jake muttered angrily.

“Should we try the Library?” Cassandra suggested.

“It’s full of freshman taking aptitude tests right now, not a good place to hide.” Jake countered. Cassandra sighed, reaching to wring her hands together. They were walking so fast, Cassandra’s cute little backpack was bouncing up and down with her curls vigorously.

“What about the space between the fields, the gyms, and the building? A lot of stoners hang out there to skip.” Jake suggested. Cassandra nodded, then looked to squint at him.

“How do you know that? I didn’t know that.” She asked. Jake huffed.

“You know my old friends--” He started to say.

“--not really your friends, yes--” She added in.

“--well, most of them smoke weed. All those preppy girls do too. They think it makes them cool.” Jake muttered. Cassandra wrinkled her nose. 

“It really doesn’t…” She muttered. Jake quirked his eyebrows in agreement.

“Well, they’re already uncool with their shitty personalities, so, it’s not like it would make much difference anyway.” He replied. This earned a laugh from Cassandra, and then they hurried as fast as they could to the space between the different buildings. 

\-----------

Ezekiel leaned against the wall behind the gym, arms crossed, brooding. McGuire was right, the Reynolds had been right. Why was he even trying? He was just wasting his time. And everybody else’s time.

But he’d made a promise. The last time he’d broken his promises, it hadn’t ended well. The overall promise he’d broken to the Reynolds, the way he failed them...but there had been lesser promises he’d broken, and he had been made to regret it. Yet the next time, he’d do the same thing. 

 

He stared down at his shoes as he thought back to the first time he’d promised Maria and John that he’d stop skipping school. He’d sworn to them, he’d stay in class. And it had lasted for a few weeks. They’d rewarded him at the end of each week, taking him out to eat, to the movies. John could be so funny, Ezekiel remembered walking out of theaters side by side with the man, riding the movie high and laughing carelessly. John had that way of making him feel like the weight of the world was lifted off of his shoulders. 

He remembered the long drives John would take him on in his truck, down the coast, because he knew how much Ezekiel liked the ocean. They’d listened to classic rock, because it was the one genre they both agreed on. He remembered telling John about his time in Australia, and they’d laughed about how Ezekiel had made a habit of screwing over gangbangers and never pledging his loyalty. 

At the end of his first month of not missing school once, John had taken him to the gun range, and taught him how to use a pistol. Maria had taken him to a special culinary lesson she’d reserved the next day, to learn how to make baked alaskans. Which had been a bitch, but they’d had fun learning it. 

Ezekiel smiled to himself, kicking the dirt as he remembered how exhausted his arm had been from whipping the meringue. Maria had reached and swiped some up on her fingertip, before booping it onto his nose. He remembered how he’d just stared at her in confusion, and she’d practically double over laughing. Maria had a...unique sense of humor. But she had had such a beautiful laugh. That laugh rang through his memories, accompanied by the smell of spices and baking goods. Of golden sunlight filtering through the kitchen curtains. Everything a mother was supposed to be.

Ezekiel’s heart began to sink back into the dull ache of reality again, as the trail of memories led to a broken ended path. He’d skipped again, and then he’d nearly been arrested. John had to come and save his ass, and the drive home had been heavier than any weight Ezekiel had ever born before. 

Ezekiel closed his eyes against the memories. He could still feel the slam of John’s fist against his face, his stomach, his shoulders and arms. He remembered raising his arms against it, but that had only made it worse.

 _”Let me help you, don’t fight it.”_ John always used to tell him, until he would let go of the urge to protect himself and just take it.

That day, that horrible day, he could remember falling down, and fighting the urge to beg him to stop. He remembered biting his tongue till it bled as John kicked him. He remembered John shoving him onto his back, and then stepping on his neck. Ezekiel had started to struggle then, terrified. They’d never done this to him before. At that point, at least. He vividly remembered the pressure of the man’s steel toed boot bearing down on him, cutting off his oxygen. He’d tried to croak out an apology, a desperate begging, but nothing came as he clawed at the foot suffocating him. 

The most memorable thing, though, from that moment, had been looking over to see Maria calmly looking down at her watch. As if this was the normalist thing in the world. She seemed to count a certain amount of seconds, before coolly telling John to step off. He had gasped for breath, tears in his eyes as he coughed. John had leaned into his swimming field of vision, and Ezekiel would never forget that John was crying to, although his face had been red in rage. 

 

A noise drew Ezekiel’s mind back to the present. There was laughter and giggling from around the corner, near the back of the bleachers. He frowned, and had the urge to follow his hunch on what it was.

He turned the corner, to find the group of girls that hated Cassandra and the group of jocks that hated Jake. They were all in a little circle, giggling, half of them on their phones, joints in half of their hands. Ezekiel was no stranger to weed. It surprised him, though, in a town like this. Not that he should be surprised, it was kinda everywhere these days. Not that he was complaining.

They caught wind of his presence, and immediately all turned to give him the most dead ass glares they could muster. 

“It’s that squinty eyed freak who stole my damned phone!” Lily cried angrily, narrowing her eyes even more at him. 

“You’re the guy who’s been hanging out with that fucking queer traitor and that annoying dead girl. Why do you even bother? Are you a faggot too?” One of the jocks asked, in an extremely thick southern accent. Must be that guy Jake avoids. Ezekiel blinked at him in confusion at what he was saying for a moment, and then drew himself up a little taller, and adopted a cocky expression.

“Why yes I am, you looking for a roll in the hay, honey?” Ezekiel asked, in a mockingly terrible southern accent, putting his hand on his hip in the gayest way possible. This earned many a disgruntled, angry glare and shuffle. 

“The fuck did you just say to me?” The jock demanded, flicking his joint over his shoulder and standing up straighter to make himself look more intimidating. And boy, he sure was intimidating. Ezekiel swallowed thickly, but kept himself composed. Don’t show weakness. 

“Well, you seem so interested.” Ezekiel replied haughtily. 

“I ain’t a fucking cocksucker, you deadbeat orphan!” The jock snarled. Ezekiel’s playful, antagonistic urge suddenly morphed into a coldness deep down inside of him. He let his hand fell away and slowly stood normally again, face falling to a more serious expression.

“Excuse me?” He demanded, in a low tone. 

“What, are you deaf as well as blind? You can’t even fucking read, nobody fucking loves you. You and those two losers deserve each other.” The jock hissed. The other boys started to stand straighter, moving forward a little, scowls on their faces and glints in their eyes. The girls, sensing a fight scurried to the side. And then they took out their phones to record whatever came down.

Ezekiel knew this situation wasn’t balanced in his favor. He didn’t fight, he didn’t do punchy. He ran away from things. He wasn’t a coward, per se, he was just practical and self concerned. Even if he did want to fight - seven jocks, high as balls, with a vendetta against him? Not the best odds. He let his expression turn disinterested again, waving a hand.

“Whatever, enjoy your pot and meaningless hatred. I’ve got better things to do.” He said dismissively, turning his back on them and starting to walk away.

“What, you gonna go do that dying slut? Fuck her as hard as you can, she might finally drop dead, you’d be doing everyone a favor.” The lead jock called after him. Ezekiel froze in his tracks, ears ringing with those vulgar words against Cassandra. The mental image forced itself upon him, and he felt a deep set rage he’d never felt before take a hold of him. 

He spun around, charging towards the lead jock, who was busy laughing with his friends over what he’d said. Ezekiel shoved against his large chest, causing the line of jocks to break slightly as the guy stumbled back.

“Shut your fucking mouth! You don’t even know her, you fucking asshole! How about _you_ drop dead!” Ezekiel practically shouted at him, seething. The high boy’s face turned from surprise, to deadly rage. He surged forward, and slammed his fist into Ezekiel’s face. Ezekiel stumbled back, head whipping to the side. The guy hit him with such tremendous force he felt like his jaw had popped out of place and then back in, all in the same move. 

The pain blossoming across his face shoved him backwards, backwards in time, way into a memory. John was standing over him, face red in rage, fists raised. 

_”Let me help you, don’t fight it.”_ Rang through his mind, and everything started to blur. In reality, another fist slammed into his stomach, and then another boy’s fist slammed into the other side of his face, from the left. 

For a moment, he was back in the grass behind the bleachers, the smell of weed and fists swarming him as girls cheered in the distance. And then he was back in the Reynold’s house, and John was so disappointed in him. For a moment, Ezekiel’s arms raised to defend himself. Then they slackened, those words ringing in his mind, reminding him where he belonged. _Don’t fight it. Don’t fight it._

But that was John, this- this wasn’t John - was it? Where was he? 

Hands grabbed his jacket and practically threw him against the building brick wall, snapping him back into reality slightly. Lily was screaming in delight, somewhere. One of the lead jock’s hands stayed at his jacket, at his chest, holding him against the wall. The other rose and curled into a fist, then slammed into his face. His head whipped to the side again, and he was back in John’s arms, John’s hands wrapping around his neck as he tried not to struggle. _Don’t fight it._

At being slammed into the wall, his fists had started to panic, but John’s words lulled them back into indifference. 

“Fuck him up, babe! Dumb fuck can’t even fight back, what a faggot!” Lily cried, moving forward to see the event more clearly. Laughter echoed, and the lead jock slammed his knee up into Ezekiel’s stomach. Ezekiel doubled over, breath knocked out of him, world still flickering in a daze of confusion. 

John was kicking him in the stomach, with those steel toed boots, and sometimes Ezekiel would throw up on the floor. Maria always made him clean it, scrubbing, scrubbing, he needed to… no, he needed to get away, this wasn’t….

The jock backed away a little, just to let him fall to his knees in the grass. Then a good few guys started wailing on him, fists and feet galore. It was all so familiar, the two situations in his head blurred together. The only thing he could seem to think straight towards was that he couldn’t fit it, he wasn’t allowed to fight it…

\---------------

Cassandra and Jake crept out the gym exit door, hesitantly making their way down the pathway.

“I hope we don’t get in trouble…” Cassandra muttered, wringing her hands together. 

“Let’s just find-” He started to say, but was cut off by shrill laughter, grunts, and noise coming from around the corner. It sounded all too familiar to Jake, and he burst into a run as dread filled him. Cassandra jumped in surprise and then ran after him. The skidded to a halt on the wet grass around the corner, staring down the strip of grass between the bleachers and the gym wall. A bunch of football players while wailing on a knelt over person against the brick wall, while the huddle of girls recorded it and doubled over in obviously intoxicated laughter, yelling encouragement. It only took a second to see the person they were wailing on was none other than Ezekiel. Cassandra was frozen, but Jake moved near instantly. He roared forward like a wave crashing on cliffs, and tackled three of them at once, sending the lot of them tumbling into the grass. The group scattered slightly in shock, and then the guys got even angrier to see Jake. Jake pulled himself up, and socked the closest one in the nose. Another came and tried to kick at Jake, who was still on his knees, but Jake grabbed his ankle and shoved him back on his ass. 

Jake tried to stand fully after that, but the lead jock was standing now, glaring at him with such hatred to boil blood. Jake took a breath, staring him down all the same as he slowly stood.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Tom?” Jake asked. The lead jock, Tom, spit in his direction.

“You’re friend fucking started it, you fucking faggot!” Tom snarled. Jake’s face contorted into rage, and he charged forward. But before he could reach Tom, the other guys were up, and grabbed onto his arms. They twisted his arms behind his back and he struggled against them. Tom moved forward and hit him in the face, with each fist, back and forth. Before he could land a third strike, however, a red blur flew out of left field and flung herself onto his back. Cassandra wrapped her arms around his neck and flung her weight to the side, and Tom fell back onto the grass with an indignant squawk. Jake used the surprise to wrench himself out of the grasp of the others, spinning around and kicking one in the knee before punching the other in the ear. 

Some of the other boys decided to join in, and Jake was stuck trying to keep them all at bay, but he couldn’t hold it. He went down in a flurry of fists, while Cassandra and Tom wrestled, and he cried out as she yanked at his hair and bite his hand when he tried to hit her. 

“What the hell is going on here!” Came a booming female, voice, and the crowd of girls screamed in shock, before grabbing their bags and racing away. Eve let them go, instead striding forward and pulling the jocks off of Jake. The boys startled at the sight of her, and tried to take off running, but other teachers had followed Eve - Mrs. Lamia, Mr. Carson, and Mr. Carlile, the vice principal. 

Tom crawled off of Cassandra and tried to make a break for it, but she reached and grabbed his ankle, and he slammed face first into the dirt.

“That is _enough!_ ” Eve boomed, holding two of the terrified football players by the back of their shirts. 

“That asian kid started it!” The one in her right hand exclaimed. Eve whipped to look at Ezekiel. This whole time, Ezekiel had been sitting with his back pressed against the wall, staring forward at nothing as his friends fought right next to him. He hadn’t even made a move to help them, it couldn’t register with him. He knew Eve was looking at him, but he just kept staring ahead. Was this even real? Or just some memory? He didn’t know.

“He attacked Tom!” The others started to chime in. “We were defending our friend, then the other two showed up!” 

“That’s bullshit!” Jake cried out, as he struggled to stand up even though his leg had been stomped on. 

“We’ll take care of that later, all of you, to the nurse’s office!” The vice principal shouted. 

“We may have to call an ambulance, this one looks like he got his head knocked in.” Mrs. Lamia said cooly, tilting her head at the inert Ezekiel. 

“No, I can’t see any broken bones on any of them, best we can check for is concussions. Although, he looks more like he’s in some sort of shock…” Flynn said. Eve’s heart twisted and she let go of the football players, abandoning Mr. Carlile and Lamia to deal with them as she rushed to the kid’s side. Mr. Carson, on the other hand, moved past her to help Cassandra and Jake stand up, checking them over.

“Ezekiel? Can you stand?” Eve asked as she worried over him. Ezekiel didn’t reply, but he stood up, without any trouble. Despite the beating he’d just received. Practice makes perfect, after all. 

\-------------

After they all got checked out by the nurse, they were forced to sit in a row of chairs against the principal’s office while each of their parents were called, and told that their child was suspended for a week and why. The only person that _wasn’t_ sitting in silence against the principal’s office with ice packs was Ezekiel, who the nurse had demanded stay in the nurse’s office. Eve had stayed with him, leaving the disciplinary action to the principal and vice principal. 

At the other end of the row, Lily was sobbing into her hands softly, sniffling and whimpering pathetically. Cassandra stared at her, then turned to exchange an exasperated look. Just like her to play the victim when she’d been cheering the thing on like she was getting off on it, before running off. She was only here because she was the only girl Jake for sure saw before they all ran, and he’d reported her. In order to save their asses, the football players had sold each other out instantly. The only story of theirs that lined up was that Ezekiel had started it. Jake and Cassandra doubted that.

The principal, Mr. Ray Bradbury, set down the phone to Cassandra’s phone, but before he could go to ask for Jake’s number, he sat up straighter. 

“Sir, once again, with respect - why should we be suspended for a week, we were just trying to help our friend!” Jake protested.

“There are other ways to stop a fight, Mr. Stone!” Mr. Bradbury said sternly.

“They were beating our friend, and he couldn’t even defend himself!” Cassandra butted in, balling her hands into fists. 

“He chose not to!” One of the jocks intercepted. 

“All accounts say your friend started it. You weren’t there, and he has yet to say anything on the matter. I’m sorry, but it’s policy that all participants of violent acts be suspended. That’s just the rules.” The vice principal announced, shaking his head. 

“He didn’t start it!” Cassandra cried, standing up in anger. Her nose began to bleed. That seemed to be too much for Lily, and the “crying” girl stood as well.

“Yes, he did!” She huffed. “I have proof!” She exclaimed, holding up her phone. Tom stared up at her.

“Lily, what the fuck?” He hissed. 

“Can it Tom, they didn’t believe you anyways.” She huffed. Then she put her hands on her hips, and strode over to the principals desk, holding up her phone and clicking on the video. Cassandra raced forward to watch it, and Jake followed. The vice principal gave them a look, but moved aside for them to crane over the screen.

Ezekiel was standing there, and the jocks were facing him down. Ezekiel spun away, saying something about meaningless hatred. For a moment, Cassandra thought he was walking away, and it would prove he hadn’t started it. But then Tom’s booming voice cut through the recording, right into the room.

 _“What, you gonna go do that dying slut? Fuck her as hard as you can, she might finally drop dead, you’d be doing everyone a favor.”_

“Jesus, Tom!” The vice principal exclaimed, horrified. Tom and the jocks looked frozen in place, their misdeeds now being fully exposed. 

“ _Watch!_ ” Lily hissed, and all eyes turned back to watch a furious looking Ezekiel strife forward and shove the football player as hard as he could, shouting for him to drop dead instead. Cassandra reached to put a hand over her mouth as Ezekiel’s defense of her earned him a blow to the face. Lily paused the video, and moved back, looking triumphant. The principal looked grim, and practically glared at her.

“You’ll be sending that entire video, unedited, to Officer Baird. Her email is on the school website. If you don’t, you’ll be suspended for two weeks.” The principal announced. Lily’s red eyes widened in shock, and then outrage.

“But- but - I didn’t do anything! I was only recording for evidence!” She screeched, voice like a harpy. 

“Doing nothing is just as bad. Not to mention, each one of you took a drug test in the nurse’s office. And the only ones who passed were Mr. Jones, Ms. Cillian, and Mr. Stone here. On that note, Officer Baird will be contacting her associates to charge you lot for that fact. You boys, you’re off the football team for good, and Lily is off the cheerleading squad. We do not tolerate drug usage or violence at this establishment.” The principal said primly. Lily stared at him, going pale, and Cassandra giggled before she could stop herself. The boys all stood, starting to shout in protest, but one step forward from the vice principal made them freeze.

“Do not make this an expulsion, boys! Take what you’re due! Hopefully this will teach you a listen!” Mr. Carlile exclaimed. They all looked like they were going to be sick. Jake tried to hide his smile. 

“Thank you, Monty.” The principal said to Mr. Carlile. “Now, all of you besides Mr. Stone and Mrs. Cillian, you’re parents have been called. Wait outside in the main office while they come to get you.” He instructed. All of them numbly allowed themselves to be led out of the room by the vice principal. Tom was the last one out, and he turned to give Jake and Cassandra a venomous glare.

“You’ll pay for this, you fucking queers.” He hissed, before the door shut behind him. Jake felt like a hole had opened up and swallowed his heart. Cassandra gave him a sympathetic look.

“If you two would sit down, please.” The principal said calmly. They did as they were told. The large man folded his hands on the desk in front of him. He was a jovial and eccentric man, usually, but he could be serious when needed. He was old friends with Flynn, Jake knew. There were pictures of them in Egypt on the wall behind Mr. Bradbury’s head. 

The principal sighed, and gave them a smile. “I’ll be straight with you. Despite our...policies, I think you did the right thing. Yes, there were other ways to handle it. But I understand. And I don’t blame Mr. Jones for his reaction to their behavior. Hopefully, this will deter them from making poor and cruel choices in the future.” He said.

 _I doubt it._ Jake thought to himself, bones heavy with dread. 

“Unfortunately, I still have to follow the rules. But it’s only a week. As for Mr. Jones…” Ray looked towards the window, looking out into the main office, before looking back at them.

“He has problems, but he seems like a good kid. Tell him I send him my best. You two can go outside, if you don’t wanna listen to me calling your parents. In fact, you can wait in the nurse’s office with your friend. And don’t worry, i’ll explain to them that you were only helping your friend, but I have no choice.” Mr. Bradbury assured them. 

“Thank you.” Cassandra said sincerely, and they filed out the door silently. 

\----------------------

Eve and Ezekiel only left after Cassandra and Jake’s parents had come and gotten them. Eve had made it her personal responsibility to explain to them their kids weren’t in trouble of fault, but out of policy. Cassandra’s parents, in their perfect jewelry and tight smiles, nodded and then cooed over her broken eye as they ushered her out the door. 

Jake’s father was a man who looked like he was sucking on a lemon, and he smelled like he’d had enough tequila to warrant it. He’d just glared at Jake, and told him to get his _dumb ass_ in his truck and follow him home. Eve had watched them go in concern, narrowing her eyes at the man’s back.

Ezekiel had yet to say anything. He seemed less shocked, but now he was just quiet. Eve was steaming mad, and trying to keep it in check. Before they left, she’d tried to speak to Ray about how Ezekiel shouldn’t be suspended for so long when he was already so behind. Not to mention, her kid was the one that hadn’t been freaking intoxicated on school grounds. But, she knew it was to no avail. She tried anyways, though. She didn’t know why. She hadn’t expected him to change his mind, she knew he wasn’t allowed to. She supposed she just couldn’t stand by without trying. That was how Ezekiel had entered her life in the first place, anyways. 

Once the nurse had assured her for the hundredth time Ezekiel was just battered, and didn’t need to go to the hospital, Eve led the silent boy out to her car. They had to go pick up Stumpy from dog day care before they got home, she informed him. He didn’t reply. They got in, Eve in a huff, Ezekiel gently. As she pulled out of the parking lot, Eve’s knuckles were white on the steering wheel. Her kid was covered in bruises and pain, he wouldn’t talk. Not to mention, this was probably bringing back bad memories, based on what Eve had deduced about Ezekiel’s past before the Reynolds. 

And now he’d be suspended? He was already having a hard time in school! He’d done the right thing, in Eve’s opinion. But, as an officer, she knew the law. And she knew, if it was any other kid, she’d do the same thing. But this...she couldn’t help but be fucking pissed off, even though she knew how hypocritical it was. She wanted to grind that punk Tom’s face into a fucking sandpaper belt. Which was probably not something she should be thinking about the students she was in charge of watching over and protecting. 

She glanced over at the battered boy in the passenger seat. He was staring out the window, facing away from her. She wanted to say something...but he’d been through a lot today, she ought to let him have this silence for now. They’d have plenty of time to talk, since Eve had told Mr. Bradbury she was taking a week out of her vacation pay to stay home with Ezekiel. Her last ditch form of protest, she supposed. She gritted her teeth together in outrage, and turned her eyes back to the road. She pushed herself back into the seat a little, body tense, practically glaring at the asphalt in front of her car. This was ridiculous. 

They stopped and got Stumpy, who instantly started to whine and lick Ezekiel’s face when Eve brought him out to the car. Ezekiel didn’t crack a smile, but wrapped his arms around the dog and softly pet his head for the rest of the ride. Stumpy made content noises, curling up in his lap. 

Ezekiel may have been silent, but his mind was a war zone. 

_The gray walls offered no reprieve from the crushing fear that approached from all sides. The handcuffs keeping him trapped at the interrogation table where cold, and no matter how he let his wrists rest on them, they would not warm up. He stared down at the way the fluorescent light gleamed against the scratched metal table. It reminded him of an ice rink. Not that he’d ever been to one. A cop was standing by the door, guarding it, staring at the wall behind Ezekiel’s head. He hadn’t said anything yet. Ezekiel doubted he cared enough to._

_He’d been caught making a deal with some guys over some diamond earrings and some prescription pills, but the guys had fucking sold him out. What was with American criminals, and selling him out? That was his job! That’s why he’d had to leave Australia, bailed on too many people._

_And here he was, waiting for the consequences of bailing on the only people who’d ever loved him. The angry police woman had told him the Reynolds flight from New York to Denver had landed. This all served him right, trying to make a score in somewhere like fucking Denver...but he’d needed money to keep going west, and he really wasn’t a fan of the idea of turning tricks. Not that a sixteen year old asian wouldn’t attract a lot of attention. Growing up on the streets, he’d been avoiding that attention his whole damned life._

_He felt like he’d been drowning forever in anticipation and dread, and soon, he would let go and breath it in. Would the Reynolds take him back? What would they do to him if they did? Did he want them to? He did. He desperately wanted them to take him back. But he also feared it more than anything, he wanted to run and never look back. He felt torn apart between the two._

_Soon, the door opened. Ezekiel whipped to stare as Maria entered. No John. Her brown hair was drawn in a tight bun, and she was wearing one of her sharpest and darkest pantsuits. She looked like the angel of judgement, come to weigh his heart with those scales in her pale eyes. And his heart felt heavier than ever, as she stared him down with what could only be called disgust. It made something inside of him shrivel up, something he’d never even known was there._

_Maria turned to the guard, and jerked her head towards the door. The guard glanced at Ezekiel, and then her, and then nodded before taking his leave. Ezekiel frowned. He was pretty sure that was against the rules. Then again, she was the prestigious wife of one of New York’s retired Chief of Police._

 

_Maria then turned towards him again striding to take the seat opposite him. She sat with regal stature, and folded her hands in front of her coldly._

_”Ezekiel. You’re a very, very stupid kid. But I didn’t think you’d be this dumb.”_ She said primly. He blinked at her, and then looked away, heart twisting.

 _”I’m sorry, I just...I couldn’t. I couldn't do it. I’m sorry.”_ He confessed, voice breaking. Her face betrayed none of it’s usual sympathy.

 

_”Oh, you aren’t sorry. But you will be. I’m the one that’s sorry, John is sorry too. Sorry that we wasted our fucking time on a project as worthless as you. We thought we could turn you around, but you’ve only taken and taken and taken. You’re a selfish, worthless piece of shit, Ezekiel Jones. And you’ll never be worth anything at all. And now you’ll get what you deserve.” She snarled, anger bleeding through her cold exterior as her mouth twisted around fangs. Ezekiel stared at her, eyes wide at the pain of her venom piercing his heart. The only people who’d ever believed in him, finally realizing the truth. The world shattered at the edge of his vision, but he couldn’t look away from the hatred in her eyes._

_”W-what? What do you mean?” He asked, confused and terrified. She sat back a little, her snarl fading into a smug, pleased look. A dark glint lingered in her icy eyes._

_”They’re going to lock you away, Ezekiel. You think what we did was bad? You’ll spend months behind bars, in a tiny brick room all alone, and there’s no way someone as stupid as you can escape from prison, I don’t care how sneaky you think you are. John’s vying for two years, actually. And no matter when they let you out, we all know that’s exactly where you’ll end back up. John will be waiting, he’ll make sure of it.” Maria said. It was not an explanation, it was not just matter of fact. It was an unwavering promise. Ezekiel felt like his heart had stopped beating. She smiled wider at his horror, and leaned forward again, as if her next words were more of an intimate nature. He couldn’t bring himself to move at all._

_”You will never ever see the light of a free day again, Ezekiel Jones. I can promise you that, on my word.” She whispered, putting the last nail in Ezekiel’s casket. Then she stood, and turned her back on him. He snapped out of his frozen horror, bolting forward over the table, only for the handcuffs to stop him short. She turned back at the noise, and wrinkled her nose at his desperation._

_”Maria! Maria, please, i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’ll do anything, i’ll make it up to you, please don’t, i’ll try harder-” He begged, tears pricking his eyes. She only turned her nose up at him._

_”We gave you enough chances, Ezekiel. You shouldn’t have broken your promises.” And with that, she was gone._

\------------

Ezekiel shook himself out of the memory’s grip, and petted Stumpy a little faster, trying to ground himself in the present. The last thing he needed was a repeat of earlier today. Occasionally, he fearfully glanced at the woman driving. She was so angry. She’d been angry since she’d found them behind the bleachers, she’d given Ezekiel the most wrathful look. She’d paced back and forth in the nurse’s office, endlessly. He had had to keep himself from flinching every time her shoes clacked against the tiles. 

Everyone was in trouble because of him. He’d really fucked up this time. Something like this, back at the Reynolds...Eve would never be as bad as them. At least, not yet. He constantly found his mind warring on whether to trust whether she may really never turn to hurting him. But, maybe she’d turn to something else. When Eve had swooped in and saved him from the impending correctional facility sentence, she hadn’t even known him. She’d done it because that was just what amazing people like Eve did. But he’d overstayed his welcome, he’d started to believe that maybe he could do it this time. He’d started to try, and then he’d failed, over and over, just like always. He was nothing but a worthless troublemaker and now Eve was realizing what a waste of time he was. She was so angry...if she _wasn’t_ going to hurt him, what was she going to do? Give up? Send him away? 

_You’ll spend months behind bars, in a tiny brick room all alone._

He felt his heart speed up just as he started to think about it. There was nothing he was more afraid of. And he had a feeling, with whatever Eve knew from the Reynolds, and with the closet incident...Eve would know it was just the right thing to do. It was where he belonged and he couldn’t stand to admit it, it made him want to die. He’d much rather die than go to prison, to be locked up forever.

He glanced over at Eve again. At the white of her knuckles around the steering wheel. Maybe, if he played this right, she wouldn’t send him away. Maybe she’d hurt him instead, like she was supposed to. Maybe this time he’d learn from it like he was supposed to. 

It was running away that had gotten the Reynolds to give up on him...giving up on them, closing off, how he’d stopped caring. He couldn’t do that this time. He had to do the opposite. He had to press on it, push against her, get her to snap towards him instead of letting him go. 

Ezekiel looked back out the car window, hand petting Stumpy hesitating slightly before curling to run through the dog’s course fur. Stumpy snuggled against him softly. 

Maybe this time he’d get it right, maybe this time the lesson would sink it. Maybe this time he could become someone that mattered.


	18. birds of a feather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Jake's life takes a turn for the worst as a result of the fight and it's repercussions, Ezekiel is faced with a decision. What will the so-called thief do, when he's faced with Jake going through something all too familiar to him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: SLURS, HOMOPHOBIA, VIOLENT ABUSE

When they got home, Ezekiel headed up to his room, ignoring Eve’s call for him to wait and talk to her. She let him go, despite her frustration. She didn’t want to add to his pain. She knew kids needed space sometimes, especially in situations like this.

Not too much space, however.

The next morning, she hoped that the subject may have softened. She knocked on the door with her free hand, holding a plate stacked with eggs, bacon and waffles in the other. Ezekiel didn’t answer. She could hear him typing on that laptop of his. She frowned, and knocked louder.

“Jones? I’ve got breakfast for you.” She called. This earned no response for a good few moments.

“Come in.” The boy’s voice finally allowed. He sounded remarkably disinterested, but she knew better. She pushed open the door with the combined movement of her hand and hip, gliding into the room with a grand and gentle smile. Ezekiel was in his window seat, back against the window, on his laptop. He shut it as she entered, but did not look at her. She hoisted the plate in the air.

“Wanna eat up here, or do you wanna come down and watch Deadpool with me? It just came out on Amazon Prime.” She offered, hoping the news would entice him.

“I’ve already seen it. Snuck into the theatre.” He said bluntly. She nodded, and set the plate down on his desk, assuming his answer to the question from his tone.

“Well, have Cassandra and Jake seen it? You could invite them over.” She offered.

“I doubt they’ll be allowed out, since I got them suspended.” Ezekiel said, with a harsh, condescending tone, looking at Eve as if she was stupid. She really didn’t appreciate that tone, but gritted her teeth instead of biting back. She smiled wider, not letting the daggers in his eyes cut her. She knew who they were really directed at.

“You didn’t get them suspended. They were helping their friend, it was their choice, and I doubt they regret it.” She said firmly. He shook his head, scoffing.

“They should.” He muttered. He then eyed the food, and opened his mouth again before she could reply. “Thanks for breakfast. You can go now.” He said shortly. She gave a start at the abrupt and extremely disrespectful dismissal. But then she steeled herself, and forced herself to turn and leave. Forcing her presence on him probably wouldn’t help.

\----------------

When Cassandra’s parents came to get her, they fretted and tutted the whole way home. They didn’t yell. They didn’t scold her. They weren’t angry, or even that overly worried, but . They weren’t proud she’d done the right thing either..

They were just disappointed, and annoyed. When they got home, they gave her a huge lecture on proper behavior.

“Just because of this change of plans,” Her mother said shrilly, gesturing to Cassandra’s head. “Doesn't mean you can go out and be reckless and do whatever you want! Image is still important, even now!”

Cassandra felt anger rise up in her, and her eyes reacted with hot tears.

“Change of plans?” She exclaimed, balling her hands into fists. “I'm dying! My own body is going to kill me, slowly and painfully. And you think I still care about image? About behavior?”

“Dignity in death, Cassandra.” Her father said, with a sad drop of his shoulders at the word death. It was like a constant pressure, suffocating them all. She felt those hot tears spill over her cheeks.

“I don't care what you want!” She cried out. “I'm dying! But I'm going to live my life before I do! And I'm going to live it the way I want!”

“Cassandra Cillian, this is unacceptable-” Her mother began to say in outrage, but the young girl cut her off.

“No! I don't care what's unacceptable! I don't want to hear it anymore! Your-your-” She summoned up all her will to say something she would usually never, especially to her parents. “Your bullshit expectations are wasting what little time I have!” She screeched. This shocked her parents for a full minute, before her mother’s face finally shifted into outright anger.

“Cassandra-”

But she was already gone, up the stairs. She slammed the door behind her. Her anger made her vision red, and then she started to see things - picture perfect images of the days leading up to today, the smell of pizza, and exact map of the city streets. She swatted them away, trying to block out the flashes of light. She could feel Lily’s hands as she remembered the fight, and she swayed slightly, blood trickling from her nose.

Eventually, it faded back to some semblance of reality. She slowly sank to her knees and started to cry, not bothering to wipe her nose.

The rest of the day they did not attempt to speak to her, and when she went back downstairs in search of dinner, the maid had a plate for her and a message from her parents, explaining they’d went out with friends. She gave the woman a smile and thanked her, but did not eat the dinner. Instead, she went back upstairs and started reading her book. She hoped that Ezekiel and Jake were having a better time than her. Especially Ezekiel. She was so worried about him, the way he’d just...gone limp, essentially. She knew enough to know it was more than just regular shock.

Suspended for a week. First time for everything, she supposed.

\---------------------

Jake’s drive home was filled with incessant yelling. His father’s voice ricocheted against the cab of the truck like an onslaught of bullets. He had forced Jake to leave his own truck at the school - he wasn’t allowed to have it back anyways, until he went back to school anyways.

“The only reason you’re wasting everyone’s time going to that damned school is to get a damned diploma so you can take over the business when i’m down in my damned grave, boy! We moved out here to expand the business, not for you to run around with a dead bitch and a good for nothing chink.” His father snarled. Jake clenched his jaw against the derogatory words. He was used to his father calling him every shitty word humanity had ever coined, but slurs against his friends made his blood boil.

“You don’t know them!” Jake found himself snapping back. His father shot him a glare that made his bones shake, but he did not let himself show it. “You don’t know anything about them!” _You don’t even know me._

“I know you’re getting yourself in trouble chasing after that girl. And you may be dumb, but I didn’t think you’d be dumb enough to run around with that chinese criminal. You been stealing shit? Getting your rocks off being a getaway driver?” His father accused. Jake stared at him in anger, shaking his head. There were so many things wrong with that he didn’t even know where to start.

“He’s not even chinese- I haven’t been stealing anything! What the hell, dad, I just got in a fight because some asshole was hurting my friend. You’re the one getting in brawls every night at the damned bar.” Jake leaned forward over the console dividing their seats, anger coursing through him.

His father’s face, tilted toward the road in attention, twisted in outrage as his son spoke. “You don’t know shit about what I do! This ain’t about all that, i’m pissed as the devil you’re wasting all your damned time. The only thing you were’re good at was football and you quit that to bang some redhead, the only thing you do right at school is your damned attendance record and now you’ve fucked that up just like everything else!” His father shouted.

“I’m the one that fucks everything up? You’re the one who can’t fucking keep the finances together! You think I don’t know how badly this expansion is going? You think I don’t hear your phone calls? I’m wasting my time up here? You’re running your precious business into the ground!” Jake yelled back, heart hammering in a furious chest.

Like a snap of a whip, Jake’s head snapped to the side, and he was pushed back into his seat with a grunt. Pain exploded across his face where his father’s fist slammed into it. His ears rung for a moment, and he found himself staring down at his shoes, raising a hand to his face. The anger in his chest turned sour and he resisted the urge to shrink into the seat. He just stayed still, clenching his jaw and staring down at the floor. His father’s hands returned to the wheel, and he had an air of pride as he regained control of the tension in the atmosphere.

“Watch your tongue, you son of a bitch. You’re too thick to know shit. Don’t make me kick some fucking sense into you.” His father snarled, and the conversation was ended. If you could call anything between them a conversation. “And don’t think you’re going anywhere this fucking week. You’re going to work until you can’t stand, and then you’re going to fucking work some more. Do something fucking useful with your worthless hide.”

\------------------

The next morning, Cassandra woke up to find her door open, and all her new clothes gone. When she went downstairs, intent on confronting her mother, her parents were nowhere to be found.

“Went to a charity event, miss.” The maid, Lara, explained, twisting her hands in sympathy. She’d been with this family for a long time, and she had her own opinions on how Cassandra’s parents treated her. But, alas, it was not her place. She could only watch as the young girl’s face started to tremble. She’d practically helped raise the poor girl. Her heart twisted, and she took a step towards her.

“Oh, honey, don’t cry. It’ll be alright. I...would you like me to run and buy you some more? Just between us.” Lara offered. Cassandra hesitated, considering her offer. She considered the woman more of a friend, more like family, than a servant. Her parents didn’t feel the same way. If they found out, they may well fire her.

“No, Lara. But thank you, that means a lot to me. I’ll...figure something out.” Cassandra said.

“Will you be going anywhere today, than?” Lara asked. Cassandra tilted her head, reaching to run her fingers over the patch of short, still growing hairs on the side of her head.

“I...my parents didn't say I couldnt. And I don’t want to stay here...Ii’ll go see, and then Ii’ll tell you if Ii’m leaving.” She told Lara with a smile, and then returned upstairs. Lara watched her go sadly, wishing there was some justice in the world. The good always died young, she supposed.

Cassandra plopped down on her bed, pulling her phone from her nightstand.

**How are you guys? - Cassandra Sent 7:03 AM**

It was a good while until she got any sort of reply. She looked through cat videos on Vine until a push notification gave her a response.

 **I’m fine. - Ezekiel Sent 7:46 AM** Cassandra huffed, doubting that. It looked like Jake hadn’t seen either of their messages yet. She assumed he was still asleep.

 **how are u?- Ezekiel Sent 7:47 AM** Came next, before Cassandra could formulate a reply to his initial response. She frowned, considering lying and saying she was alright. But she didn’t want to be dishonest.

 **My parents are worse than ever. They took all my clothes again. They’re just disappointed i’m not dying in the right way. I think it’s funny all they care about my image and then they take all my clothes. - Cassandra Sent 7:52 AM** She sent, sighing as she did. The reply took a while, and she guessed he didn’t really know how to respond.

**I’m sorry. Want me to steal you more? - Ezekiel Sent 7:58**

**No, i’ve got too much money for that. Besides, i’ve decided. If they care so much about image, i’m not going to care at all anymore. I’ll go to school in sweats without a hoodie on for the rest of the year, but i’m going to go to school no matter what they do. - Cassandra Sent 7:58 AM**

**good on you, mate - Ezekiel Sent 8: 00 AM**

Cassandra hesitated, wondering if she should just stay home today, since she was sure Ezekiel probably needed space. But, then again, maybe space was what he had too much of. And she really didn’t want to be here when her parents returned to lecture her again.

**Are you doing anything? Could I come over? - Cassandra Sent 8: 00 AM**

**Uh, I don’t know....Baird’s pretty mad at me. - Ezekiel Sent 8:05 AM**

Cassandra tilted her head at her phone with a frown.

**Really? I didn’t think she was. The only person she’s mad at is the jerks and the principal. - Cassandra Sent 8:06 AM**

It took a while for a reply to be given to that.

**She said you can come over. Jake can too, if he sees this. - Ezekiel Sent 8:20**

Cassandra hopped out of bed, and pulled on a sweatshirt over her pajama shirt and sweats. She tied her hair in a ponytail, which displayed the bald patch loud and clear. She clenched her fist against it and turned to the door, slinging her purse over her shoulder as she went.

 

Ezekiel had an easy time not looking at Cassandra’s bald spot, because it turned out, he was very set on not looking at her whatsoever. In fact, they ended up in the living room watching movies, and Ezekiel put as much space between them as possible.

Cassandra didn’t press on it, though. And they still had a nice time. She left mid afternoon, returning home to get a lecture from her waiting parents. But nothing they said had as much of an effect as it usually did. She felt a surge of confidence, of assurance in herself. She left in the middle of their rant, paying their calls no mind as she headed up to her room.

They would not dictate her image any longer.

\--------------

The day after getting suspended, Jake worked from dawn till dusk. His father dropped him off at home and then left for the bar. As the night drew closed, Jake finally had time to look at his phone. Cassandra and Ezekiel had hung out, that was nice, he supposed, but for. For some reason it left a bitter taste in his mouth.

Jake went into the kitchen, and opened the fridge to find nothing besides bottles of Jack Daniels and rotten fruit. He sighed, and decided to just take a shower. He needed to wash off all the grease and sweat caked on him and his clothes. Not that he wasn’t used to the sensation.

Once he was done with a shower and throwing laundry in the washer, he settled in his room and pulled out his laptop. It was an old shitty PC from the dawn of the millennium, but it was all he had. He had a feeling Ezekiel would have a field day mocking him if he ever saw it. The brightside of his father being gone half the time, was that he could teach himself Greek in peace. It had been his project since moving to Oregon, and it was going well so far.

As he slipped into the world of letters and conjugations and roots, he forgot about the fight, about his father, and the world. Whenever he got caught up in these things he just felt so at peace. Finding beauty in everything wasn’t always a burden to him.

He was so lost in picking apart the language, time lost it’s track, and it was near midnight when he heard the door slam. It slammed so loudly he jumped, and hurried to shut his laptop and shove it under his pillow. In a haste, he grabbed a car magazine off of his nightstand, and reclined in bed as if he was leafing through it.

Sure enough, his bedroom door ripped open, to reveal his father. His father was red in the face, smelled like a brewery, and looked angry as the devil. Jake’s eyes widened in fear and slight confusion - he couldn’t think of anything in particular he’d done for his father to be that pissed about. Was this a late reaction to being suspended?

“Dad-” He started to say, but was cut off by his father storming forward and grabbing onto him, yanking him out of bed and throwing him right into the wall. Jake cried out as his head snapped back into the wood, and once he had steadied himself he stared at his father in terror and confusion. His father had shoved him around sometimes, but this was different.

It was as if his father was growing, rising up, looming over Jake and blocking out the light. The man was seething, and held so much disgust and anger in his drunken gaze, Jake felt like it may just burn him.

“Dad, what the hell?” Jake exclaimed, swallowing in fear and curling his own hands into tight balls.

“I’ve tried to raise you right. Even when you’re good-for-nothing whore of a mother bailed, I didn’t give up on your useless fucking ass. You’re nothing but a dumb, ungrateful meathead, but I thought I could drive home enough sense to leave you running the business like it should be.” His father exclaimed, swaying on his feet slightly. Then he stabbed his left fist forward, into his son’s abdomen. Jake slammed back into the wall with the force of the punch as he doubled over, wheezing as the wind left him. Pain exploded over his torso, and he choked on a halted cough of pain.

His father leaned down to yell in his ear. “Even if you are as stupid as a pile of fucking bricks, I thought you’d at least be a half decent son of a bitch, but no! You’re a fucking faggot, your head’s on as backwards as your dumb ass!”

Jake’s blood ran cold, and he turned his head up to stare at his father in horror. “W-what?”

His father’s face was contorted in disgust, and he grabbed Jake by the hair and pulled him up a bit more, just so he could land a harsh blow directly onto his face. Jake dropped to the floor with that one, and reached a shaking hand to his face. He’d never been punched that hard before, he felt like the world was spinning.

“I went to the bar to have a damn god given drink after a hard day's work, and what happens when I get there? Joe Gable comes up and tells me that his son has pictures of my fucking son, kissing a damned guy like the fucking queer piece of shit I always knew you’d end up! I did my damndest but it didn’t fucking work, no matter what i’m going to do you’re going to burn in hell where you fucking belong.” His dad hissed, kicking one of his steel toed boots directly into Jake’s ribs, causing him to cry out in pain. Jake stared up at him, unbidden tears in his eyes, and started to shake his head.

“No, I don’t-” He started to say, but was cut off by another kick.

“Shut the fuck up! You fucking worthless, good for nothing sinner, you think you’re going to get away with this shit?” His father exclaimed, and started to slam his fists down onto his son, over and over, harder and harder, like brimstone reigning from a vengeful sky. If it was any other man attacking him, Jake would have fought back, would have evened the field. But all he did then was squeeze his eyes shut and pull his arms over his head, wishing he were as dead as his father apparently wanted him.

\---------------------------------

For the next few days, Cassandra and Ezekiel hung out. Jake saw all their texts, but he didn’t respond. It started to worry Cassandra.

“I’m sure he’s fine. He’s probably just pissed I got him suspended.” Ezekiel said, as they sat at his table with Eve eating stroganoff and french bread.

“Ezekiel…” Cassandra sighed, and exchanged a look with Eve. They’d both been doing their best to try and convince Ezekiel that it hadn’t been his fault, but he was remarkably stubborn on the idea.

“According to Mrs. Lamia,” Eve decided to mention. “His father made him leave his truck at the school.”

Cassandra frowned. “Do you think his dad’s still mad at him about it, even though he didn’t do anything wrong?”

“Or maybe he won’t reply to us because Tom plastered that picture of him kissing a guy at that kegger.” Ezekiel shrugged. Cassandra grimaced. They had both seen it all over Facebook and every other social media. Now the whole town knew Jake’s affections were not exclusive to the female gender.

“Do you think...his dad’s mad about that? I mean, they are from the South…” Cassandra said, starting to wring his hands. Eve’s frown deepened as she remembered her meeting of the man.

“He did seem the type. He better not be giving that boy any shit over it or he’ll have me to answer to…” Eve muttered darkly, staring down at her food as she thought distantly about the boy. Both Cassandra and Ezekiel turned to blink at her. She looked up at them, and straightened in her seat.

“What?” She demanded. Ezekiel and Cassandra exchanged a look.

“You’d really get involved?” Cassandra asked. Eve lifted her chin, and her eyes flashed.

“If any kid in this damned town is getting hurt, I’d get involved. Especially kids I care about.” She said sternly. Cassandra smiled and nodded at that, but Ezekiel looked away.

\------------

Jake woke up from yet another nightmare, and the minute he woke up, he wanted to go back to sleep, nightmare or no. His whole body ached and screamed at him in agony. He groaned as he curled onto his side, reaching to press his hands over his bruised torso. He hissed, as the inflamed bruises throbbed against his palm. He sighed, laying there for a little while longer, before he reached for his phone. He’d deleted the meager amount of social media accounts he had, after Tom had made it his personal vendetta to spread the picture and the story from the kegger. God, how was he supposed to go back to school? Well, at least this was Oregon, and not Oklahoma. But, still… he’d spent his whole life hiding who he was, including the fact he liked boys and girls. If his father reacted like this to that, he abhorred to think how his father would react if he knew the rest of the truth.

Everything Jake really was, was wrong. His father hadn’t taken him to work since the first day. He didn’t want to take a faggot to the work place, apparently. And every day, when he came back, it was always the same. He was just as angry, and he punched Jake just as hard. Jake wondered when it would stop, or at least die down. But, his father was a particularly stubborn son of a bitch. What if it never stopped? What if his father never let him take over the business now?

And that was just with this. What if his father found out the rest? Jake was starting to worry, way down in the darkest part of his heart, that his father might just kill him instead of letting him live as a failure. Jake had recently been wondering if his father had hurt his mother like this. Maybe that was why she’d left.

But if she had...why had she left Jake behind? Doomed him to face the same abuse? Did his own mother really not care about him at all?

Because Jake wasn’t stupid. He knew this was abuse, he knew it was wrong. And, well, mentally...he knew he didn’t deserve it. Nobody deserved to be abused.

Try telling that to the twist in his heart. God, he just didn’t know what to do. His best hope was that it would die down, and his father would go back to just glaring at him and telling him what a worthless failure he was. Things could go back to some semblance of normal, and nobody would ever have to know about this. Jake had a plan for his life and he knew he couldn’t leave it, even now. He’d just have to bear this bump in the road.

While he’d deleted his social media, he still had his phone’s built in messenger, and therefore the groupchat with Ezekiel and Cassandra. He knew from it that they’d been hanging out all week. It was Wednesday, he wondered if the trend would carry on.

He clicked on the group chat, and read the messages he had yet to see. A conversation about some new movie, some homework, memes, about Jake and how worried Cassandra was about him, and then Cassandra biding goodbye around ten this morning, because she had to drive all the way to Portland for the next few days for some blood tests. Jake blinked. He knew how much she hated getting tests done. And he felt guilty for being so distant and worrying her.

**Sorry, i’ve just been busy. I’m fine. Dad’s not happy about the whole bisexual thing, but he’s never happy, so, it’s no big deal. Good luck Cassandra, we’ll be here for you when you get back! - Jake Sent 7:08 AM**

**OMG Jake hi i’ve missed you!!! Oh my gosh i’m so sorry I hope he’s not being 2 mean….it was so shitty of Tom to do that when he promised not to but I guess all bets were off. Thanks, it shouldn’t be too big of a thing! Are you two going to hang out today? Ezekiel misses you! - Cassie Sent 7:09 AM** Came an excited reply, accompanied by various emojis. Jake blinked at the message in surprise.

 **I never said that - World Class Idiot Sent 7: 09 AM** Ezekiel quickly sent, in an attempt to head off any assumptions that he cared. Jake rolled his eyes.

**Whatever you say, Ezekiel. - Cassie Sent 7: 09 AM**

Jake actually laughed out loud at that, which hurt, but he paid it little mind. He’d dealt with pain before.

 **A+ usage of his own catchphrase, Cassie - Jake Sent 7: 10 AM** He commented.

 **Thx, i’ll be here all week. Metaphorically speaking, since i’m actually out of town right now and will be for the rest of the week.- Cassie Sent 7: 12 AM** The redhead’s bubble of text recited.

**That’s not my catchphrase! I barely say tht! - World Class Idiot Sent 7: 13 AM**

**Dude, you say that at LEAST two times per day. - Jake** Replied the southern boy. Then Jake rolled onto his back, getting more comfortable.

**You guys suck. - World Class Idiot Sent 7: 16 AM**

**Whatever you say, Jones.- Jake Sent 7: 16 AM**

**s t o p - World Class Idiot Sent 7: 17 Am**

Jake gave another slight huff of laughter, and was surprised to find an effortless smile had made its home on his features. He paused, thinking about what Cassandra had said earlier. He knew his father had already left for work. He considered the heavy ache inside of him, and everything that had happened.

He glanced towards his closet. He had a bit of money. Enough for a bus to the stop next to Ezekiel’s street. The next bus came in about twenty minutes.

But his father would be angry. Then again, his father was already angry enough to kick his ass on sight every time he got home and tell him how he was going to burn in hell, and what a failure he was. He was so sick of being alone in a house with nothing to do, nothing to eat, besides homework and extra research for all the things he wasn’t supposed to know about. Waiting all day to get hurt again.

On that note, if he went to Ezekiel’s house, he’d probably notice the amalgamation of bruises on his face and his black eye.

Then again, neither Ezekiel or Eve had seen him since the fight. If he made sure they didn’t see anything besides his face and his bruised knuckles, it was entirely feasible the bruises were from the fight, and they’d just surfaced slowly. If he acted as normal as possible, they might just assume as much and not even think much of it.

He made up his mind, and returned his gaze to his phone screen.

 **So, uh, what are you doing today Jones? - Jake Sent 7: 20 AM** He was surprisingly nervous as he hit send.

**Playing Zelda. Why? - World Class Idiot Sent 7: 21 AM**

Jake bit the inside of his cheek, digesting the butterflies in his bruised stomach.

  
**I’m bored and a little stir crazy. Would hanging out today be the worst idea? - Jake Sent 7: 22 AM**

**No, just on the top ten list. Yeah, you can come over. Eve’s making pot roast, she demands you take some home. Does that mean you’ve got your truck back? Eve said Lamia said it was still at school. - World Class Idiot Sent 7: 24 AM**

**Jake blinked. I’ll just take the bus, it lets off near your house. - Jake Sent 7: 24 AM**

The walk to the bus stop hurt a lot, but the bus ride itself was rather smooth. Jake had ridden the bus a lot when he first got to this town, before he got his truck. He wondered now if his father would ever give him his truck back. Knowing his father, probably not, or at least not for a really long time. Jake stared out the window, minding his own bussiness, nervous that others might be staring at his bruised visage. But that was probably just his nerves talking, people didn’t see what they didn’t need to most of the time.

Jake’s nerves increased exponentially as he made his way up the street and up the stairs to knock on Ezekiel’s door. He took a deep breath and did his best to adopt a casual expression. They wouldn’t even suspect anything if he didn’t give them a reason to.

Eve was the one who opened the door, and her eyes instantly fell on the injuries across his face. Her smile turned into a look of sharp and immediate concern, and she stepped across the threshold to get a closer inspection.

“Jesus, kid, what happened?” She asked in surprise. Then her eyes flicked to meet his, a deep and resounding presence in her gaze.

“Did your dad do this to you?” She asked, outright, but in a lowered tone as not to be overheard. Some fearful and serious secret.

He screwed up his face as if he was surprised by her accusation, and scoffed, like it wasn’t a big deal. “What? No, nah, this is from Tom. They should fade in a while, bruises always take a while to rise up and a while to go away with me. Slow southern blood, my uncle used to reckon.” He said, in a near chipper voice, as if he didn’t have many cares in the world. Then he leaned forward with a grin and winked at her. “Bit more of a badge of honor than anything else, if you’d please.” Why did his accent always get thicker when he was nervous?

Eve leaned back, looking him up and down. There was a moment, as he waited with bated breath, to see if she would buy his lie. Then the tension broke, and she smiled at him, stepping aside to let him in.

“Well, you did quite a number on him too. Not that i’d ever say a kid deserved a beating, but if I did, i’d be that guy.” Eve muttered. Jake quirked his eyebrows as he entered, not being able to help but agree. Tom had practically ruined his life, Jake had entertained more than a few violent thoughts about the boy over the past fews days.

“Listen, Jake…” Eve shut the door behind him, and he turned to attention. She gave him a smile.

“About the picture, and the kegger, and Tom telling everyone you like guys-” She started, and Jake swallowed, suddenly afraid. What if Eve wasn’t as open minded as she appeared? Jake’s grip on the strap of his backpack tightened. His dread must have shown on his face, because Eve quickly hurried to get to her point.

“-No, no, no, it’s not a bad thing. I’m not some homophobic bitch, trust me. I just wanted to tell you that it’s okay. And that if you need anything, i’m here. I know with certain people, things might be hard after this, so if you ever need anything, i’m here.” She told him, her words and expression so sincere it almost hurt. Jake relaxed, and his face spread into a smile. He ducked his head a bit.

“Thank you. That, uh, means a lot. Is Ezekiel…?” Jake asked, question dwindling into implication.

Eve nodded. “Oh, yeah, you won’t have any trouble with it from him. If anything, he was probably happy when he heard.” She said smugly. Jake nodded, relieved, but then cocked his head in confusion when he processed the second half of her statement.

“Wait, why would he-” He started to ask, but Eve was suddenly turning and walking up the stairs. He blinked as he watched her go, then shook his head.

Ezekiel was in the living room, he found, surrounded by a few bags of chips as he slashed and hacked at the game on the big screen. He paused the game when he saw Jake enter, jerking his head in acknowledgement. Then he froze, eyes flicking just as sharply as Eve’s had over his face.

“Damn mate, what happened to your mug?” Ezekiel asked, in a more abrasive form of concern, but concern nonetheless. Jake plopped down on the couch next to him, ignoring how much his entire body protested against any movement.

“We got in a fight, remember? You’re the one with two matching black eyes.” Jake pointed. Ezekiel was rather battered, but his bruises were already on the way to fading. Ezekiel furrowed his brow at Jake.

“Yeah, but, I don’t remember you having those while we waited in the office.” He said slowly, eyeing Jake with the kind of thoughtful expression that was rare on Ezekiel. Jake shrugged, reaching to grab a handful of chips.

“Not all bruises pop up within a few minutes, man. So which Zelda game is this?” Jake, hoping his casual tone and change of subject would divert Ezekiel’s attention.

“Those look fresher than the fight with Tom. And there’s more bruises than I remember him landing punches on you.” Ezekiel kept going, and his tone was more skeptical than Eve’s had been. It rang with irony to Jake, that Ezekiel was the one pursuing the issue. Then again, it was fairly obvious Ezekiel had been abused before he came here. It may be harder to hide it from someone who’d been through it. Jake felt a stab of fear at that, and he reacted in kind.

“Oh, sure. Because you were totally paying complete attention.” Jake snapped. Ezekiel blinked, and then turned his head away. Guilt diffused through him, burning at his eyes and his chest. Ezekiel Jones regretted a lot of things in life, but not doing a single thing to help Cassandra and Jake in the fight was rather high on the list. Not that he could show that.

“It’s Skyward Sword, the new one. Wanna start a new game?” Ezekiel said, deciding a change of subject was a rather good idea.

They spent the next few hours playing that and eating chips, and their individual issues were momentarily forgotten as they bickered jokingly over Zelda lore and worked together to get through various puzzles. Apart, both of them were pretty good at video games, but together, they got through stages in remarkable time. It was nice, just for a little while, to forget about everything and just have fun. And eat their weight in various fried and flavored potato slices.

“So, uh,” Ezekiel said, while they had reached a calmer spot in the game. “What exactly happened with Tom and them? I’ve gotten bits and pieces, and then suddenly he’s got some picture of you making out with some guy from the other school at a kegger?”

Jake sighed, groaning slightly as memories returned to roost. “Well, when I first moved here, I joined the football team. I’m pretty good. And it’s what everyone expects of the southern meathead, so. Obviously they became my friends. And I, of course, use that term lightly. Very lightly. Feather light. And…” Jake sighed, his words resonating with the deepest shame and regret. “I may or may not have had a giant crush on Tom, at one point in time. ” He admitted.

Ezekiel made a snorting noise, turning to stare at him with comically wide eyes. “WHAT?”

Jake rolled his eyes. “He wasn’t as much of an asshole to me then! I thought he was nice. Dumb, but nice. And hot. Really, really, really hot. Anyways, the point is, I liked him. And this is the Northwest, not the South. So it was hard to tell how any of them felt about the topic.” Jake explained.

“The topic of guys liking guys.” Ezekiel filled in.

“Yeah. Apparently, even the North isn’t all the way over the bigot hump yet.” Jake muttered. Ezekiel huffed.

“Nowhere fully is. I don’t let it bother me, people can think what they think about who I like.” Ezekiel said. Jake paused, and turned to look at him.

“Wait, what?” He asked. Ezekiel blinked at him.

“Dude, I was literally hitting on that goth boy in our history class Friday. Right in front of you. And then the next period I managed to get that brunette’s number, when Cassandra bet me ten bucks I couldn’t. You really don’t pay attention in class, do you?” Ezekiel asked incredulously.

Jake shook his head. “I pay attention to the actual teacher, not your shenanigans, thank you very much. Wait, so, you...also like both? Cassandra does too, she told me, does that mean we’re all…” Jake started to realize. Ezekiel cocked an eyebrow at him.

“By jove, I’ve think he’s finally got it!” Ezekiel said in a mock accent, referencing something Jake recognized but couldn't place. Ezekiel turned back to the game.

“Birds of a feather flock together, man. So, the kegger?” He prompted. Jake cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair.

“Ah, well. I’m not much of a drinker. But we went to this big kegger party out in the west fields...nearly everyone was there. It was pretty fun. I kinda let loose a little, I guess. Got a little drunk. A lot drunk. And decided, in what I remember as a haze of shotgunning and whiskey slaps,” Jake carried on.

“Whiskey slaps?” Ezekiel interrupted.

“You take a shot, and someone slaps you in the face.” Jake paused his story to explain.

Ezekiel nodded. “Sounds like fun.”

 

“Apparently. Anyways, I decided when I was thoroughly plastered, making out with some gay drama student was a great idea. And then I remember, when Tom asked me what the hell I was doing, I spilled the bisexual beans and confessed to him how he was the one i’d really prefer to be kissing.” Jake sighed, squirming in his seat in embarrassment. Ezekiel pursed his lips.

“I imagine that went swimmingly.” The Australian boy said. Jake’s shoulders sagged, and his face burnt red.

“Oh, yeah. They all turned out to be as homophobic as they were dumb. I begged them not to tell anyone else. They saw an opportunity and and the took it. You see, I always started talking about another can of worms when I was drunk. The whole, i’m actually a certified genius beans. So, uh, they agreed not to tell anyone if I did all their homework. And paid for team lunches and drove them around. And anything else they wanted.” Jake muttered, voice bitter.

“You were their bitch!” Ezekiel exclaimed, in sudden understanding. Jake shot him a glare. “And that’s what Cassandra pulled you out of. And with the fight, they had no reason to keep your secret anymore.” Ezekiel carried out, piecing it all together. Jake nodded, crossing his arms. Ezekiel grinned, proud he finally understood all of it. Well, almost all of it.

“Wait, if you where the bottom of the food chain, why is Lily so out for your dick?” He asked. Jake grimaced at the thought of the vindictive girl.

“She didn't have any interest in me until I fell to the bottom of the pack. She gets off on control. But she’s so high and mighty and shallow. So, someone who has some level of coolness about them, that’s still beneath her? Who she can take advantage of? And is still attractive in some way? Right up her alley.” Jake explained.

“So, she’s the alpha looking for an omega that’s not too hideous. Man, you were whipped! It all makes sense now.” Ezekiel nodded to himself. Jake looked down at his shoes. Ezekiel’s grin of understanding fell as he realized the insensitivity. He cleared his throat.

“Ah, well, fuck them. Fuck anyone who gives you shit. They weren’t real friends, good riddance.” Ezekiel said, giving Jake an awkward shove on the shoulder. That was something guys did, right? Jake looked over at him, and Ezekiel suddenly felt like he’d been way to open today. He stood up, intending to go to the bathroom. “Not that i’d know anything about real friends.”

Jake furrowed his brow as he watched Ezekiel start to walk across the room. “Seriously? I’m sitting right here”

“Not your friend, bro! Just passing through. I tell you guys this, so don’t go crying when I bail, I warned you!” Ezekiel called over his shoulder. Jake rolled his eyes, not bothering to push the issue further.

“Whatever you say, Jones!” Jake called as Ezekiel disappeared up the stairs. A muffled “fuck you” drifted back down to him, and he laughed. Then winced, as the laughter pained him. He was grateful Ezekiel wasn’t there to see it, the boy already seemed to be hard to pull the wool over on.

Eventually, they got a bit tired, and decided to save the game and switch to just watching movies. The movies were less engaging, which was the point, but it left time for each of them to think about the other a little more. Jake knew that Ezekiel kept stealing glances at the bruises on his face, but he pretended he didn’t notice. If he didn’t give anything else for Ezekiel to go on, the boy’s hunch might fade.

Cassandra texted them a few times, from Portland, mostly pictures of various dogs she saw in the streets.

“Where’s Stumpy?” Jake asked, reminded of the animal after Cassandra’s fourth picture came through of a woman walking a beagle.

“Upstairs with Eve. He likes to lay in her lap while she does paperwork.” Ezekiel replied. Jake nodded.

“They’re sure getting along, then?” Jake asked.

“Yeah, she warmed up to him pretty quick. We practically fight every night over who gets to sleep with him.” Ezekiel told him, eyes still ahead on the movie. Jake grinned at that.

“That’s too cute, dude, I may have to punch a wall to feel manly again.” Jake said.

“Oh, shut up. You’re the second manliest man I know.” Ezekiel replied. Jake cocked his head.

“Oh really? And who’s the first?” Jake asked. Ezekiel gave a slight smile as he reached for another handful of chips.

“John Reynolds. Manly Man Extraordinaire.” He replied. Jake recognized that name.

“You’re old foster dad?” Jake asked. Ezekiel nodded as he popped a chip in his mouth.

“Yeah. Taught me how to shave and how to shoot a gun. And how to drive a truck. And how to pick up girls. He was the apex of masculinity. It was almost ridiculous. We’d go to all this events, charity and societal things, and all the wives would giggle and swoon if he so much as took a drink of his whiskey. Me and Maria used to make a game, taking bets how many women would give their own husbands disapproving looks after looking over at John.” Ezekiel told him, grinning as he recalled the memory.

“They sound cool.” Jake said, giving Ezekiel a thoughtful look. He watched as Ezekiel’s expression fell from a reminiscent smile to a distant flicker of something unnamed.

“Yeah. They were.” He said softly. Neither of them were paying attention to the movie now.

“Why did you leave?” Jake asked, after a moment of hesitation.

“I already told you.” Ezekiel said curtly. Jake frowned in confusion, trying to recall what instance Ezekiel was referring to. He opened his mouth to ask further, but suddenly Ezekiel stood up.

“Want something more than chips to eat, it's getting late.” Ezekiel said loudly, moving towards the kitchen. Jake watched him go, knowing that the fleeting moment of openness was gone.

Ezekiel had looked so happy, so fond, as he was talking about his old foster parents. Why would he have run away from them? Eve talked about them fondly as well, she talked about how Ezekiel had broken their hearts. Jake wondered if Eve’s determination to get through to Ezekiel was less about getting him to stay here, and more about getting him to go back there?

“Uh, yeah, sure. You have anything in mind?” Jake asked, standing and following the other boy into the kitchen.

Ezekiel paused at the stairs. “Yo, Colonel!” He called. Eve stuck her head out her door, to look down at them. Stumpy came out at a mile a minute and scrambled down the stairs to weave between Jake’s legs.

“Yes?” Eve called.

“What do you want for dinner?” Ezekiel asked.

“Actually, I was about to leave, Sharon needs me at the station for an opinion on a case.” Eve said, walking down the stairs. “I don’t know how long i’ll be gone, so you guys can have whatever you want. Are you spending the night, Jake?” Eve asked, turning her eyes to him. Jake’s mind turned quickly. He really, really, really didn’t want to go home to another beating.

“Yeah, if that’s cool with you.” He said, against his better judgement. His father would be pissed. But then again, his father was already pissed. And his father had not come home with no explanation plenty of nights, why couldn’t Jake do it?

“Of course. I’ll see you two later, have fun!” Eve said, pulling her jacket off the rack. She kneeled to give Stumpy a kiss on the top of the head, and then she was gone out the door.

“So you really want to stay over?” Ezekiel asked, once she was gone. Jake nodded.

“I mean, unless you don’t want me to.” Jake added quickly. Ezekiel was already walking past him to the kitchen.

“I don’t care either way. You cool with grilled cheese and apple soup?” Ezekiel asked.

“What on God’s green earth is apple soup?” Jake exclaimed. He took his usual seat at the island as Ezekiel started pulling various ingredients out.

“I always get that response. You’ll see, i’m not good at explaining things.” Ezekiel replied.

“Okay then, new question, why do you make such obscure dishes?” Jake asked.

“I don’t make only obscure dishes.” Ezekiel protested, pulling pans out of a cupboard.

Jake scoffed. “Last week you brought something to school with a name I couldn’t even pronounce. And i’m fluent in three languages, passable in five.” Jake reminded him, as he got up from the island to grab a cup of water.

“Well, Maria wasn’t the only one who taught me how to cook. Technically.” Ezekiel explained. “I used to watch my Aunt Rain cook. She had strange tastes, even for an Australian prostitute.”

Jake, who had been taking his first drink of said cup of water, spit it out back into the sink. Ezekiel fliched so hard at the noise he dropped the bottle of curry he was holding. He stooped to pick it back up, shooting Jake a look.

“Don’t ask, it’s a long story. But you’ll like the soup, trust me.”

Jake indeed did enjoy the soup, much to his surprise. It was creamy, tart and warm. They ate their dinner, and were about to start another movie, when Jake’s phone rang. His blood ran cold when he entered his code. It was his dad. He turned to Ezekiel and gave an extremely forced smile.

“I’ll take this in the other room.” He said, and then walked quickly into the kitchen before answering it.

\----------

Ezekiel watched Jake go. He’d seen the contact Dad flash across the other boy’s screen. Ezekiel stood quietly, and crept out of the living room and into the foyer, pressing himself against the wall next to the doorway to the kitchen. Did he enjoy eavesdropping? Probably more than he should. But in this instance, he was fairly sure it was actually needed. Jake’s whole situation, the bruises on his face, it just didn’t sit right with Ezekiel.

He listened, and could hear Jake’s dad yelling something over the phone. He must have been yelling very loudly for Ezekiel to hear him all the way around the wall.

“Dad-” Jake started to say, voice low. He was cut off by more yelling. Then the boy attempted to speak up again. “Dad! If you want what you’re doing to me to stay between us then just fucking let me stay the night. I know no matter how drunk you are you know better than to want the police knocking. I’ll be back tomorrow. I won’t say shit if you just keep it together. Go drink yourself to sleep and leave me alone just for fucking once, alright?”

This was responded to with more yelling, and a pained sigh from Jake as the boy hung up. Ezekiel, alarmed with what he’d just heard, quickly hurried to plop himself back down on the couch before he could get caught eavesdropping.

A few moments later, Jake walked back in. He looked perfectly unbothered.

Ezekiel knew better. His mind whirred like an overheating laptop. They watched another movie, but Ezekiel wasn’t paying attention whatsoever. So it had been Jake’s dad who had given him that black and blue checkerboard of a face. What else was he doing to him? What else was hurting underneath the boy’s clothes? Ezekiel knew all too well to imagine.

It just. It didn’t make any sense. Jake was a good person. He was a genius, a hard worker. He was nice, and moral, and passionate. He was self sacrificing, and funny, and he cared too much for his own damn good. He didn’t deserve to get beaten up by his dad for liking guys and art. He didn’t deserve to get hurt by someone that was supposed to be caring for him.

Ezekiel, on the other hand, he deserved what was coming to him. Someone like Tom probably warranted it, he imagined. But people like Cassandra and Jake? They didn’t.

He worried over what to do. The idea of asking Jake outright seemed like it just wouldn’t work, and it might make things worse. Should he tell Eve? He was sure she’d do something about it, like she’d said. But...it didn’t sit right with him. Jake should be the one to tell her. Going behind his back felt like some sort of betrayal. Which left him at the drawing board- how to get jake to admit to Eve what was happening?

Ezekiel’s mind walked him in circles, until it finally hit him.

Cassandra.

Ezekiel confronting Jake about it wouldn’t work out, it had too much room for error. After all, they weren’t really friends. But if Ezekiel told Cassandra, and Cassandra talked to Jake...she would have far better chances of success, Ezekiel was sure.

Ezekiel glanced over at the other boy. It still felt like going behind his back, but...less so to tell Cassandra then to tell an authority figure. Ezekiel made up his mind - when he saw Cassandra next, he’d tell her everything he knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late, i've been having a really really really bad time life wise...but to make up for it, this chapter is again triple the length!
> 
> IMPORTANT NOTE: Ezekiel's worldview regarding abuse is warped due to his own toxic life experiences. NOBODY deserves to be abused, not him, not Jake, and not Tom.


	19. ezekiel is a hypocrite more at eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezekiel, after deciding that he's going to retract emotionally from people and get Eve to hate him, is having a not so surprisingly hard time doing that.
> 
> Ezekiel tells Cassandra to get a life and Jake needs master to give him a sock.

The next few days of suspension went as smoothly as could be imagined. After the tests in Portland, which her parents let her wear a dress for, Cassandra refused to go buy more clothes. She is wore sweatpants and a hoodie and displayed the shaved part of her head without shame. At least, she didn’t show whatever shame she felt. The mind games with her parents seemed endless, but she was determined to win out. 

Ezekiel was increasingly cold shouldered and rude to Eve. More than he ever had been before. She knew he was going through things, but she was really starting to get fed up with it. She’d been nothing but patient, and kind, and he just seemed determined to hate her. The other day, he’d told her outright she shouldn’t bother wearing makeup. Which was random, and ridiculous, since she was fully aware how good looking she was. Attacks at her looks fell short. It didn’t really hurt her, it was just confusing as to why he seemed so set on finding anything to insult. She had been doing reading about what to do in these kinds of situations, and getting all kinds of mixed answers. She hoped maybe once he got back to school, and things blew over, he’d stop taking whatever was bothering him out on her. She’d been trying to take it all in grace, but her patience was running thin. She considered grounding him from his friends, but worried isolating him from the only people he actually seemed to enjoy might not be the best move. But grounding him from anything else, he just didn’t seem to care. So, she let Cassandra keep coming over. Jake hadn't been over since that night he spent the night. 

Jake regretted spending the night at Ezekiel’s, because when he got home the next day, his father had taken away his bed and given him the beating of a lifetime, then left him alone in his room. And told him stay there, the next day. Leaving his room would incur further wrath. Jake made up excuses as to why he couldn't come to hang out with the Ezekiel and Cassandra. The first night, he had found lying on the hard floor with a severely battered body proved unbearable, so he pulled all his clothes and coats out of his closet and laid them down as best he could. 

Saturday came, and Jake wondered how long his father was going to make him stay in here. It wasn’t like his father had _locked_ him in. He could leave whenever he wanted, especially since his father was gone most of the day. He clung to the hope he could ride this out. His father only opened the door to come in and deliver another daily beating. He didn't bother to avoid his face, and soon Jake’s mug was so bashed to hell he knew he’d never be able to make an excuse to cover it up. He brought this point up to his father, just as the man was heading to leave. 

His father, holding a whiskey bottle in one of his hands despite it being an early Saturday morning, turned and started to laugh. It was a rough and bitter laugh. Then he took another chug of the bottle, to burn away the darkness in his heart. But he was only feeding a toxic fire. 

“Don't worry about making no excuses, kid. You ain't gonna be talking shit to nobody for a damn while.” His father huffed. Jake was sitting against the far wall, trying to take deep breaths after all the kicking of his stomach. He furrowed his bleeding brow. 

“I have to go back to school Monday…” Jake said, confused. His father laughed again, swaying slightly. Then his whole demeanor changed, and with a shout his father throw the bottle of whiskey at him. Jake flinched and cowered as it smashed against the wall above his head, raining whiskey and broken glass into him. Then he stared at his father with raw terror. That could have seriously killed him had it hit him in the head, those bottles were heavy. _He’s too drunk to know what he's doing._ His mind told him, but he was beginning to doubt that voice.

“You ain't goin’ anywhere until I say. I’ll tell ‘em you’re sick. Which you are, you good for nothing faggot.” He snarled. Jake flinched again at that word, and then felt anger rise up in him. He struggled to stand, glaring at his father.

“I have to go to school!” He protested. His father's anger tripled at his defiance, and he strode forward to beat him down again. But this time, Jake tried to fight back. He landed a few punches, and even a kick to his father’s shin. It felt good to fight back - it felt like it was mutual, more of a brawl than abuse. But Jake was too smart to fool even himself, when it really came down to it.

Unfortunately, he was rather weak from the constant bearings and lack of food, so his father soon got the upper hand. He found himself on the ground, the dirty bottom of his father’s foot against his neck. He stared up at the towering man with wide eyes, reaching to try and push the foot away. It didn’t bear down enough to cut off his oxygen, but it was a threat unto it’s own, and would not move, no matter how hard Jake pushed. 

“If you ever want to leave this house again you’ll fucking shut up and stay here.” His father growled. Jake nodded, fear coursing through him. His father lifted his foot, leaving Jake shaking on the floor. 

Once his father was gone, Jake curled in on himself, sighing. He could ride this out. 

\------

Cassandra and Ezekiel had been out skateboarding all Saturday morning - she’d bought herself one so they could do it together. She was getting a lot better, she was a quick learner. They ended up in the school parking lot, and Cassandra decided she wanted to try a jumping trick Ezekiel always did. Ezekiel did his best to coach her through it, but on her first try, she landed flat on her back. 

Ezekiel hurried over to her as she struggled to sit up, blowing a strand of hair out of her face. Ezekiel crouched next to her, hands reaching to check for anything wrong. His face was twisted in outright concern.

“Are you okay, that was a hard fall, did you hit your head?” He asked in alarm. Cassandra didn’t respond - she was too busy smiling at him. He paused, confused, looking her up and down.

“What?” He asked. Maybe she had hit her head. 

Cassandra’s smile only widened. “You’re emoting!” She exclaimed with a spark in her tone.

“What is that supposed to mean?” He demanded. 

“You’ve been closed off all week, but the minute I land on my butt your face muscles suddenly know how to work again.” She teased. Ezekiel opened his mouth, and then shut it. He’d been trying as hard as he could to pull back from the others, despite his confliction over it. 

“Well, that’s just because my face muscles really like your face muscles.” He said, before he could think of anything else to say. Cassandra blinked at him, grin fading into surprise.

“What-” She started to ask, but Ezekiel had already grabbed her hand and yanked her to her feet.

“You just jumped too soon, wanna try again?” He asked, voice a little tense, desperate to change the subject before she analyzed the meaning behind his bizarre statement. 

“No, I-” She started to say, but her eyes and attention were drawn away by something over Ezekiel’s shoulder. “Is that Jake’s?” She asked, train of thought switching tracks. Ezekiel turned, glad for a the change of conversation. His eyes fell upon one of the only vehicles in the parking lot. 

“It is. Why?” Ezekiel asked. Cassandra frowned.

“Yesterday, I asked him why he couldn’t come over. He said his dad was taking him to get his car, and then to go work at Stone Pipeline again. Make use of his time.” Cassandra explained, moving around Ezekiel to walk towards the car.

“He lied to me.” She said, disturbed. Ezekiel huffed.

“He lies to everyone.” The thief said, as he followed her.

“I know, but...not to me. At least. That’s what I thought.” She said softly, reaching to run her fingers over that horrible paint job. A soft smile graced her lips.

“I remember the first time he took me out in this, and we drove to the lake and swam all day. He may look like a country boy, but he’s got an eclectic taste in music that he blasts on long drives. He sings along to them, and he’s got the most amazing voice, you know. His voice sounds like the color of sunlight through fresh green leaves in the spring.” Cassandra recalled, voice dripping with nostalgic affection. Ezekiel’s heart did a flip, and his stomach tied itself in knots. He was caught between the pangs of heartbreak and the butterflies as he thought about Jake’s voice. He had to agree with Cassandra. Which was why the heartache was doubly painful. Ezekiel had done a lot of stupid things in the past, but having feelings for two people who had feelings for each other and not him - it took the cake. And his sanity. 

“You really like him.” Ezekiel said softly. She whipped to look at him, her face flushing. It nearly matched her hair. God, she was adorable.

“Of course I do. He’s my best friend.” She said nervously. Ezekiel stuck his hands in his pockets and smiled at her ruefully. And maybe with a little bit of bitterness, but hopefully the air of _“I know you’re lying”_ outweighed that.

“C’mon, kid. I’m the patron saint of liars and fakes. Don’t try and fool me. You’re head over heels for the guy. And you _know_ how much he likes you. I know you know.” Ezekiel stated firmly. Why was he saying this? Why was he trying to get her to admit it? It was only hurting him more. But he couldn’t help himself - something urged him. Some warm, soft feeling, way deep down in him. Where all warmth had once died. 

Cassandra opened her mouth to deny, but then slowly shut it as her face heated up more. She ducked her head, shaking it slightly.

“I do. There, I said it. And I know...I know he likes me. But...it’s more complicated than that.” She sighed. 

_Don’t ask, don’t ask, don’t ask…_ ”Please, enlighten me.” _Fuck._

Cassandra crossed her arms, turning her head away. She looked like the weight of the world was suddenly on her shoulders, and all Ezekiel wanted was to take it off.

“Well, I...feelings are confusing.” She started to say slowly. Ezekiel bit the inside of his cheek.

“Thanks for the update, Captain Obvious, more at eleven.” Ezekiel snarked. _If only she knew._

“And my feelings are all mixed up about...a few people.” Her eyes flicked up to him for a split second, then away again. His frown deepened. “But, none if it matters anyways.” She sighed, shoulders dropping. A great sadness twisted her face, as if she was about to cry. Ezekiel’s own conflictions where forgotten.

“What do you mean? Of course it matters.” He asked in confusion. She looked back up at him finally, a great misery behind her ice blue eyes.

“I’m dying, Ezekiel.” She stated, as if he had forgotten. He swallowed past a lump in his throat.

“I know. But what does that have to-” He started to ask.

“How can I start anything with anyone, knowing how it’ll end? It’s not going to be a pretty death! My head will either implode or i’ll waste away, and both before i’m middle aged! How can I let someone love me just to make them suffer through that?” She exclaimed, voice cracking, tears spilling over her cheeks. Ezekiel stared at her, at a loss for words for a long moment as she reached to scrub her face. Ezekiel swallowed again, looking up at the sky. He momentarily prayed, for strength or for a swift release from all these emotions, he didn’t know. Then he took a deep breath.

He’d promised himself he’d pull away from these people, stop being so close to them, make them think he didn’t care. Which he was still going to do. But...this was more important, right now. This was something he had to do.

“Cassandra.” He said, voice uncharacteristically serious. This drew her attention, and they locked eyes. “Not to be insensitive- Actually, yes. Insensitive is my middle name. Do you really think all that matters?” He asked, steeling his conviction to what he planned to say. 

She stared at him, taken aback. Her whole life, she’d been either given pity or instructions on how to behave. “What? Of course it does!”

 

Ezekiel raised his eyebrows.”Everybody is going to die. No relationship is ever fixed. One of them could die. Both could die. They could break up. They couldn’t get married and live their whole lives together. That’s not the point.” 

“Well, yes, but - this is different! This is fixed!” She exclaimed in frustration.

“So what if it is? If every person knew when and how they were going to die, would they never get close to anyone? Would they never do anything with the time they had?” He asked. She stared at him, opening and closing her mouth at his bluntness. 

“But-”

“Everyone is on death row, Cassandra!” Ezekiel cut her off, swallowing again. “The only difference is that you’ve been given the approximate date and method of your sentence. Are you going to enjoy your last meal or die with an empty stomach and a plate full of regrets? Shit, Cassandra - if you don’t live before you die then you might as well already be dead. You’ve got to be the one to help yourself. You have to make your own choices and take your own risks, you’ve got to do something with yourself or - “ His words caught in his throat, and his sudden pace of passion simmered down into an echoing sorrow. “Or you’ll spend what little time you have locked away in the dark. Is that what you want?” Ezekiel asked. 

Cassandra stared at him, drinking in his words with wide eyes. Tears started to well up again, and she tried to blink them away. 

“I-” Her words strangled themselves inside her trembling throat. “I don’t know. I just...I don’t know. It’s not fair. It’s just...not fair.” She whispered, spirit of misery possessing her. 

“I know. You deserve better, and I can’t fathom how it must be to grapple with it but...not getting close to anyone isn’t just unfair to you. It’s unfair to everyone else.” Ezekiel told her, tension starting to fade from his spine. Cassandra’s eyebrows furrowed at that, and she shook her head.

“What? That doesn’t make any sense, i’m trying to protect everyone else!” She protested. Ezekiel felt remarkably hypocritical. The irony of his words was not lost upon him, but he politely told that irony to fuck off.

“You can’t help how people feel, Cassandra. If someone loves you, they’re going to love you. If you die, people are going to be upset, you can’t stop that by not getting any closer to them. They’re still going to care about you, they’re still going to be devastated. If anything, you’re just hurting them more. You’re afraid of hurting people by dying, but you’re perfectly content to hurt them while you’re alive? And hurt yourself?” He asked. Her eyes widened, as if the light had just clicked on over her head, and it terrified her. She started to shake her head, turning away from him, looking every which way in confusion and alarm.

“Oh god, you’re right...you’re right...shit, I -” She put her face in her hands, and Ezekiel winced as she tried to cover up her sobs. His heart wrenched - he hadn’t meant to make her upset, he’d just meant to tell the truth as best as he could feel it. He couldn’t stand for her to cry, it made him want to take the world, crumple it in a ball, and throw it far away so it couldn’t hurt her. 

“Look, Cassandra…” He swallowed once more, his throat growing tighter by the minute as he took a step closer to her shaking form. “You are a good person. You’re the most wonderful, kindhearted person I know. You make me feel like the world isn’t a giant shit hole headed for the drain.” He admitted, confessing this all with her back turned to him, hoping she wouldn’t turn around and see the love on his face he knew he’d be unable to hide. “It’s no wonder people can’t help but love you. They get one taste of you and it’s like everything else is worth it. How close you get to them isn’t going to change how much they love you, just how much it hurts to do so. Yeah, the world’s unfair, but you could be happy. You could make people happy. You already do, so much. It’s no wonder Jake’s over the moon about you.” _As am I._

There was a long moment of silence, as Ezekiel agonized over how open and emotional he was being. It made him want to run off down the street and keep going till he hit the coast. But he forced himself to stick to it, stay still, and wait for the fallout. Cassandra deserved someone to tell her this. It was practically a joke it had to be him, but what could you do? He may be a worthless good for nothing piece of shit, and he may be about to hit the road and blow this popsicle stand, but maybe he could do some good first. Fuck, if he could get Cassandra to let herself be happy, maybe his whole garbage pile of a life might be worth something after all. 

Cassandra forced herself to stop crying, and started muttering, squeezing her eyes shut against flashes of light and counting down from ten. Ezekiel became increasingly ancy, but bite the inside of his lip to stay still.

Suddenly, Cassandra turned, and flung her arms around Ezekiel, burying her head in his shoulder. Ezekiel stumbled a little bit, flinching as she hugged him. But he didn’t pull away. He hesitated, before he slowly wrapped his arms around her. She started to sob again, this time into his shoulder. He squeezed her a little tighter and started to whisper reassurances, unsure if he was whispering the right things. He wasn’t used to comforting people, but this was how people did it on TV. And it...felt right. Not that he could really trust his own emotions often.

They stayed like that a for a little, before Cassandra pulled back. She wiped her face, and he felt guilt rise up in him. But then she smiled up at him.

“Thank you. I needed to hear that. I...i’ll figure things out. With Jake. It’s all just...so much, you know?” She explained. Ezekiel nodded, eyes moving to the truck behind them. He bite the inside of his cheek again. 

“Uh, speaking of Jake. There’s...something i’ve been meaning to talk to you about. I just couldn’t figure out what to say, but after my super impressive speech there, now seems like a good a time as any…” Ezekiel announced, pursing his lips. Cassandra cocked her head, face still puffy and red.

“It was very impressive. What is it?” She asked. 

“It’s...about his dad. What do you know about the guy?” Ezekiel asked. Cassandra’s face fell again.

“I know his mom is out of the picture. He doesn’t talk about it much. His dad runs the pipeline business and all that, and wants him to take it over. And...he’s an alcoholic. He’s at the bar every day.” She said. “Why? What about him?” 

Ezekiel hesitated, before he told Cassandra about how beaten up Jake had been, and about the conversation on the phone he’d overheard. Cassandra frowned down at the pavement as she drank in the information, her mind naturally reaching all the same conclusions. Especially considering Jake’s truck was still here, and his strange lie about it.

“Something’s going on for sure.” Cassandra stated firmly, worry etched all over her. Then a spark lit up in her eyes, and she turned to look at the truck, before whipping to look at Ezekiel.

“Can you hotwire a car?” She asked. Ezekiel blinked.

“Of course I can. Why?” 

“Because I know for a fact his dad isn’t home right now. And I have a feeling he is. This thing has been here long enough, let’s go get answers.” Cassandra announced firmly. Ezekiel stared at her in shock for a moment, then his face split into a wide smile.

“You’re really not as docile as people think.” He said, pleased. She stood a little straighter, lifting her chin.

“I’m a wild card, Ezekiel Jones. Don’t forget that.” She said primly. Ezekiel felt his heart flutter in his chest. 

“Oh, I won’t. C’mon, throw our boards in the back while I open this puppy up.” Ezekiel said, excitement sparking in him. He rubbed his hands together and approached the driver’s side door while Cassandra set their skateboards in the bed of the truck. It took all of three seconds for Ezekiel to unlock the truck, and the both got in. Cassandra watched as Ezekiel ducked under the dashboard, and after a few moments and the sound of sparks, the engine revved up. 

“Can you drive this thing?” Cassandra asked, as Ezekiel rose back up and put his hands on the wheel.

“Would I be able to hotwire if I couldn’t drive?” He asked incredulously.

“Well I don’t know! I’m new to the criminal scene.” She replied. Ezekiel laughed as he pulled in the gear and started to move out of the parking lot.

“Everyone’s gotta start somewhere, I guess.”


	20. confrontations and correspondence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezekiel and Cassandra aren't going to take no for an answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day! Huzzah!

Jake was reading a book on the French Artistic Revolution, trying his best to be comfortable in his pile of coats, when he heard a scratching noise. He whipped to stare at his window, which bleed the shadows of moving figures across his floor and wall. He tended, remaining very silent, straining his ears for answers. He heard familiar voices, muffled by glass, wood and insulation. 

_”Why can't we go in front again?”_ Fuck, that was Cassandra! What was she doing? If she was here that meant-

 _”We don't know what we’re walking into, trust me.”_ Came Ezekiel’s Australian accent. 

Jake’s heart seized up, and he sat up, terror racing through him. Shit, they'd caught on that something was up. They couldn't see him! Not like this, there would be no way he could talk his way out of this. His face looked like the inside of a blackberry pie. 

Maybe he could rush out of the room? No, they'd come find him, and they'd see him passing the window. He had to make them think he really wasn't here, since he’d lied and said he was working at the pipeline.

Jake found his solution by scrambling to the closet and shutting the slider door behind him. He leaned against the back of the closet and drew his knees up, heart pounding as he heard the window open and the two of them tumble into the floor. He waited, afraid to even breathe, listening to what was happening. 

“What the fuck is this? Where’s his bed?” Ezekiel asked. Jake winced, embarrassed for them to see how is room was.

“Has he been sleeping on this? He had a bed the last time I was here…” Cassandra’s voice said in confusion, and he could hear her kicking at the pile of clothes. 

“Stay here, I'll go look for him.” Ezekiel said, and Jake bit his tongue as the boy’s steps faded out the door and down the hallway.

The room was silent, and he heard Cassandra sigh. “Oh, Jake…” She said, voice extremely sad. She seemed to be walking slowly around the room, her steps soft and hard to follow. Then try stopped all together, and she gasped. Jake’s heart rate sped up as he heard Ezekiel re enter the room.

“We were wrong, he’s not here, Cass- what is it?” Ezekiel stopped his announcement to ask, sounding concerned. 

“Blood, on the floor. And it's not that old.” She said, and Jake could imagine her pointing to the spot on the floor. He squeezed his eyes shut - stupid, stupid, he should have cleaned that up. It came from what he was pretty sure was a broken nose. 

“Shit.” Ezekiel muttered. “Well, at least it's not a lot of it…” 

There was a beat of silence. 

“Jake's dad still doesn't know about the whole actually being a genius thing, right?” Ezekiel asked.

“I doubt it. He’s gonna take that to the grave I think.” Cassandra said sadly.

“Then if he was really not here,” Ezekiel said slowly. “Then he probably isn't stupid enough to leave this floorboard full of books open, right?” 

There was silence, and Jake felt fear rise in him as dual footprints approached his position. The slider door opened, and light poured over him, interrupted only by the towering forms of his two friends. He blinked up at them. Busted.

“Heeeeeyyyy guuuysss…” Jake greeted with a nervous smile, trying to act as if didn't look like a pile of mincemeat. His throat closed up as Ezekiel looked down at him with a deep sadness, because he knew just how hard Ezekiel tried to look as if he felt nothing at all. Cassandra had a hand over her mouth and it looked like she had been crying, and was about to start again. Jake's attempt at a smile dropped away. That was never going to work in a million year anyways. 

“You shouldn't be here.” Was all he could think to say, tone defeated and solemn.

“ _We_ shouldn't be here - you shouldn't be here!” Cassandra exclaimed. Ezekiel deduced that the other boy probably had more than a few bruises under his clothes, so he reached a hand down to help him stand up. Jake took it, and stood with a wince, and wouldn’t look them in the eyes. Cassandra and Ezekiel backed away a little to give them space as he exited the closet. Jake turned his back to them, crouching with a pained grimace to start putting his books back under the floorboard. 

“Jake, we need to tell Eve. She’ll know what to do.” Cassandra said. Jake closed his eyes at her words.

“I can’t do that.” He replied softly. “They’ll send him to jail, he’ll lose everything. It’s not a big deal, it’ll die down.” He said, but he wasn’t sure if he was assuring himself or them. Ezekiel stuck his hands in his pockets and rolled his eyes, giving a shake of his head. Cassandra became increasingly emotional. She took a step towards him, and he still wouldn’t turn to face them.

“Jake, this isn’t okay! He’s abusing you, he deserves to go to jail!” She exclaimed. He stood, finally whirling to look at her, face contorting in it’s own storm of trepidation. He was like a ship on the raging sea, tossed about and just trying to stay above the surface. Ezekiel wasn’t looking at either of them, silently interested in the floor.

“I’m not as stupid as I act! I know! I know this isn’t okay and I know it’s abuse. I’m not in some sort of denial about it, okay? I know.” He huffed, crossing his arms.

“Do you know you don’t deserve it?” Cassandra asked, voice raw, face afraid of what he may answer. Jake opened his mouth, and then he closed it. And then he turned his back on them again. This brought Ezekiel’s unhidden attention, and he exchanged a look with Cassandra. She was crying again. He was really getting tired of that.

“Jake…” Cassandra said slowly, inching towards him. Her voice and demeanor was just as emotional, just as desperate. But now it was softer. Gentler. She reached to put a hand slowly on his shoulder, and his figure sagged a bit as she did. Ezekiel stayed rooted where he was, watching the tender moment unfold. Cassandra slowly circled around to where her and Jake were facing, coaxing his gaze to embrace her own. And for a moment, they stay like that, as Cassandra’s hand trailed lightly over his shoulder, up his neck, to cup his face gently. Ezekiel felt strongly as if this was a tremendously intimate, and emotional moment, and shifted uncomfortably. Both in discomfort at all the openness and the emotions this day had brought up, and with the discomfort of feeling like he was sitting in on someone else’s Hallmark moment. He really had to get out of this town.

“You don’t deserve it. You deserve better. And I…” Cassandra swallowed, and rose a bit, as if gathering her courage. Over Jake’s shoulder, her eyes faltered and flicked to look at Ezekiel. Ezekiel looked away from her. She gulped, and looked back at Jake. “I love you too much to let you stay here. And I don’t mean platonically.” 

Ezekiel clenched his jaw. There it was. He turned back to look, unable to deny his need to see this scene. He watched as Jake’s eyes widened, and for a very very long minute, all that could be heard was three hearts, pounding as if one. Jake glanced at Ezekiel. Ezekiel prayed his face wouldn’t betray him, just this once. Ezekiel raised his chin to Jake.

“She’s right. You don’t deserve it. You’re a good person. Annoying, but good.” Ezekiel shrugged. Jake’s expression changed, and he glanced again at Cassandra, and then back at him. Then he looked at the floor between them. 

“I know. In my mind, I know that nobody deserves this, let alone me.” He admitted. “But the heart’s not all on the same page.” 

Ezekiel raised an eyebrow at that statement. _Nobody deserves it._ “Well, that’s debatable. But there’s no doubt you don’t. So let’s blow this joint.” He suggested, jerking a thumb towards the door. Jake’s face faltered, and he turned back to Cassandra. Cassandra reached to curl her fingers in the material of his shirt. 

“I can’t. He’s my dad, Cassandra. My family. I have… I have responsibilities. I can’t leave him. I can’t just...betray him. I can’t leave him...like my mother left us.” He said lowly, with an agony like it was some terrible, awful truth. Which it was, in many ways. Ezekiel blinked, struck by it. So _that_ was the deal. Suddenly, a lot of things made sense.

Cassandra’s heartache was evident in every movement and expression she made. “Jake...you don’t have to give up your whole life to make up for a crime you didn’t commit. It wasn’t your fault she left, you don’t owe him anything.” 

There was silence once again, and Jake started to shake his head. “I don’t-”

But his sentence was cut off by the door opening. They all turned to see none other than Isaac Stone, who stared at them, eyes bloodshot. The smell of booze rolled into the room. There was a pause, and Jake stared in horror as his father’s face darkened.

“What the fuck are they doing in my house?” He demanded. 

“Just leaving, actually!” Ezekiel said in an upbeat tone, reaching to grab Jake’s arm and trying to tug him towards the window. “Don’t mind us, just gonna take Jake here and-” 

“What the fuck is wrong with you, you fucking worthless pile of shit, don’t you listen to anything I fucking say?” Isaac roared, striding forward and reaching to wrap a large, callused hand around his son’s neck. Ezekiel’s eyes widened from behind Jake as the other boy started to choke, eyes going wide. Jake reached to claw at his father’s hand, and Ezekiel started to back away, looking around for an answer as to what to do.

Cassandra already had her answer. She dove forward, pulling at the man’s arm, trying to get him to let Jake go. “Don’t touch him!” She shouted angrily, attempting to kick at him. 

And let Jake go is exactly what Isaac did. He released his hold around Jake’s throat, and the southern boy dropped to his knees, gasping for breath. Isaac whirled, bringing the back of that same hand crashing against Cassandra’s face, sending her sprawling to the ground. The back of her head smacked against the hardwood floor, and he nose started to bleed. She started to shake, and her eyes went wide with visions of things only she could see. 

Ezekiel’s eyes widened as he watched the man send both of them to the ground, and he heard Jake yell at his father to leave her alone, but it sounded so very distant. 

_”Let us help you, don’t fight it. Don’t fight it. Don’t fight it.”_

Jake didn’t need _help_ in the form of fists. Ezekiel did, but not Jake. And certainly not Cassandra. 

Isaac started to stalk towards Cassandra, hands balling into fists, but he never even got to finish whatever sinister thoughts he had in store for her. Ezekiel had found himself picking up the lamp from Jake’s desk, which had a ceramic base, and before he knew it he was swinging it at the back of the man’s head as hard as he could. Shards went everywhere, and the metal and glass parts of the lamp dropped out of Ezekiel’s hands to clatter against the floor. Isaac didn’t move for a moment, and then collapsed in a heap. Jake scrambled over to Cassandra and started saying things, his way of pulling her back to reality, but Ezekiel didn’t pay attention to that. He frowned down at the man, and then left the room. He came back a few moments later, as Jake was starting to make progress calming Cassandra. He was holding a ball of nylon hiking rope. Jake paused in his talking to look up at him.

“What’s that for?” Jake asked.

“Tie him up in case he tries to come after us again when he wakes up.” Ezekiel explained, crouching next to the unconscious man. Then he paused, and looked at Jake seriously. “Unless you’d prefer I tie a noose and fake his suicide.” 

Jake stared at him. “What? What the fuck, are you fucking joking?” He exclaimed in alarm. Ezekiel shrugged, and started to tie up the man’s wrists. 

“Sure, I was joking. So, am I going to call Eve, or are you going to insist you deserve what you don't deserve?” Ezekiel asked. 

Jake stared at him, and then looked down at Cassandra, who was leaning against his shoulder trying to catch her breath. A large bruise was blossoming across the side of her face, and it wrought a twisted, guilty rage in Jake.

“Call Eve.” Jake decided. Ezekiel finished tying Isaac wrists and ankles. Then he stood and pulled out his phone. 

“Ezekiel? What's up, you guys need a ride back?” Eve’s voice came through once the ringing ceased. 

“Uh, that depends.” Ezekiel said, suddenly not sure how to start in on a situation like this. 

“What do you mean? Is something wrong?” She asked. He decided it was probably better to just rip the band aid off.

“Well, Jake’s dad was beating him so we stole his truck and came to get him. But then his dad came home, and, uh, I may or may not have knocked him out.” Ezekiel said bluntly. 

“ _What?_ ” She exclaimed. 

“I knocked his dad out, not Jake.” Ezekiel clarified. “I tied him up to be safe. He's still breathing. I think. Anyways, I don't really know what to do in a situation like this, so…” 

“I- okay. Okay, stay there, I'll be right there. Lock him in another room while you wait if you really think he's that dangerous. Is anyone badly hurt?” She asked. Ezekiel tilted his head, inspecting the others.

“Cassandra hit her head and started having one of those attacks, but she's coming down from that. Jake's about as busted up as roadkill. And I'm naturally a perfect specimen of human health.” He informed her. He didn't know why he was trying to detach himself from the situation with humor, but it seemed he was failing either way.

“I'll be right there.” Eve said, and then hung up. Ezekiel tucked his phone away into his pocket.

“C’mon, let’s go in the other room. She'll be here soon, we should put distance between us and Satan himself here.” Ezekiel said, nudging the limo man with his toe. Jake nodded solemnly, and helped Cassandra to her feet. Cassandra groaned, but followed the two boys out to the kitchen. Jake had her sit down at the dining room table, and went to get her an ice pack for her face. Ezekiel crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway.

“So,” Ezekiel said softly, after a while of them all just sitting there, drinking in silence. “Your mom.” It sounded more like a statement then a sentence. He just couldn't seem to help himself today. All these emotions, he was going to have to take a long shower to wash the stink off

Jake was very interested in the nicks on his dining room table. Cassandra gave him a sympathetic look.

“You don’t have to talk about it right now.” She told him. He looked up at her. 

“Not now. But later. How about uh...we talk about something more pleasant. Us. About what you said earlier…” Jake said, and Cassandra’s face blushed from behind the ice pack. A bitter taste rose in Ezekiel’s mouth. He pushed himself off the wall and turned, heading towards the living room.

“That’s my cue. I’ll chill out here.” He called, desperate to escape. 

The two others watched him go.

“He’s the one that told me to tell you.” Cassandra said. Jake turned to look at her, confused. She looked over at him sadly.

“I told him...I told him that even though I have really strong feelings for you, and even for other people...that I could never act on them, because it was always just going to end in me dying. And he told me, rather abruptly, that I needed to get my head out of my ass and live my life because everybody’s going to die anyways.” She nearly quoted. Jake’s eyes widened.

“Uh, tact isn’t really his strong suit, is it?” Jake said, blown a bit back. She smiled fondly.

“Actually, I think he’s exactly what I needed. He told me what I needed to know and he didn’t beat around the bush. And after I got over that shock it was...so easy to finally realize how right he was. I’ve been in love with you for months and I know you feel things too, but I....” Cassandra shrugged, letting him follow the conversation’s point. He nodded.

“I understand. I didn’t say anything because I always…” Jake sighed. “I always thought you deserved someone better. And then Ezekiel came along, and, well, I kinda thought you liked him. ” Jake added. Cassandra opened her mouth, then shut it. She looked at the door Ezekiel had left out of, and then back at Jake with a helpless expression. Jake’s eyes widened.

“You _do_?” He asked. Cassandra’s face trembled, and she looked down at her lap, as if ashamed. Jake realized it sounded like he was hurt or offended, and he quickly rushed to clarify. “No! Don’t, don’t feel bad. I understand. I _really_ understand.” He empathized. She stared at him, eyes widening in realization.

“You do to?” She said. Jake shrugged in confusion.

“I- I don’t know. There’s definitely something there, it’s been driving me crazy. I just can’t help it, and then I feel so much for you at the same time, and I always thought neither was ever in my future, so…” He let his words die away.

“Same! I just...I don’t know what it is. But I know what I have for you. Why would you think you don’t deserve me?” She asked, saddened.

“Well, obviously, i’m more than a little mixed up on how I see myself. And I...I’ve always been so sure that I was never going to go anywhere. Stay at the pipeline my whole life. And I was always under the impression, once you got out of high shool, you’d go see the world and well...live your life. But now I...I'm not sure about anything.” Jake sighed, reaching to rub his eyes. 

“We’ll figure it out. Let’s just get through this first.” She said, giving him another rueful smile. 

Their discussion was cut off by the door opening and the sounds of voices. Eve was suddenly there, in the doorway, eyes blazing. She drank in Cassandra’s bruised face, before turning to see Jake. She went pale right before his eyes. Then she walked over to him, face contorting. 

“I'm so, so sorry. I promise, I won't let him hurt you anymore. Where is he?” She asked. 

“Bedroom, down the hall to the -” He started to tell her, but they were all cut off by the sound of an engine revving and then roaring away at high speed. Ezekiel raced to the living room door, and ripped it open just in time to watch Jake father’s truck peel away down the street.

“That fucker! He must have gotten out of the ropes and went out the window!” Ezekiel cursed.

“He knows there’s no way her can get out of this, he’s running.” Cassandra said, as the other’s had followed him into the living room. 

“Oh god. He’s gonna kill me. He’s really gonna kill me this time.” Jake said, staring out the window grimly. 

“No, he won’t. You’re coming with me, i’m not letting you out of my sight.” Eve announced. Then she turned away from them, ripping her radio off her belt. Her badge gleamed in the light as she spoke into it, asking for someone at the station to put an APB on the truck. 

Ezekiel and Cassandra turned to look at Jake, but Jake only had eyes for the trail of dust his father had left behind.


	21. settle in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake tries to stay calm in the aftermath of the events with his father, and Eve's ignorance regarding the Reynolds is going to make you all scream.

Jake was used to migraines. Working in the hot sun, with power tools and screaming men. Playing football. Living with a dad like his. All of that added up to some pretty common aches in the head. But this one, right now, had to take the cake. 

Eve had taken them back to the station, all three of them. She’d already called Cassandra’s parents by then, so they were waiting for them at the station, and _boy_ were entitled rich people fucking annoying. No matter how many times Eve explained the need to keep Cassandra out of harm’s way, they insisted on taking her home. They finally agreed to to allow a police car to be parked be outside their house for the next few days. Who knew what Isaac was going to do, who knew who he might come after?

As Cassandra’s parents had ushered her away out of the station, she had shot the two boys a smile, as if trying to send her love and support their way. Lord knows they’d need it - Jake spent the next hour struggling to give a report. At first, they’d tried to have a nice policewoman with bright eyes take it down, but he just hadn’t been able to tell her. Then Eve had come in to take his statement, thinking maybe someone he trusted would be easier. Which is was, but it was still damn hard. His skin crawled with shame and he just wished everything could go back to normal. 

But what was was normal, anyways?

 

Eve tried to remain professional, but peppered in her own personal brand of support a few times. Once she was done, she contacted his aunt, the only family he had left he trusted. Jake held his breath as he listened to Eve’s conversation with her. Eve told her all the important stuff, and then his aunt wanted to talk to him. Eve offered him the phone, and it took all of Jake’s willpower to reach out and pull it to his ear. He swallowed thickly.

“Hey, Aunt Laurie…” He said uncertainly, anxiously. 

_”Oh, sweet cheeks! I’m so sorry. I should never have let that good for nothing drunk father of yours take you away up North where I couldn’t beat his damned ass if he touched you like he touched my sister! I should have known better, this is all my fault…”_ She lamented over the line with all the weight of a southern heartbreak. 

The mention of his mother brought a new tightness to his throat, and he squeezed his eyes shut. “It’s not your fault, don’t worry.” He assured her. 

_”Well, regardless, i’m coming up there on the next plane out!”_ She exclaimed. Jake’s eyes snapped back open in alarm.

“What? No, Auntie, you don’t have to-” He started to say, but her voice cut him off sternly.

 _”Jacob Stone, do not go thinkin’ you can tell me what I don’t and do have ta do! Jessy and Jamie have already agreed! We’ve got enough money, don’t you fret, and Jamie’s got work up there that might be even better than down here. Jessy doesn’t get on good in none of these damned schools down here, still tryna teach creation in school and what not. We’ll have to take a while to work out how to move up there, getting a house and switching jobs and all, so you’ll be staying with that nice policewoman friend of yours. Unless you don’t want to? Is she trustworthy?_ ” Laurie demanded. 

Jake opened and closed his mouth for a moment, and looked across the station at Eve, who was filing some sort of paperwork. Ezekiel was sitting on a bench next to a drug addict in handcuffs, typing away on his phone. But his leg wouldn’t stop bouncing up and down, and he kept glancing up to look around the room. And upon this beat of an instance, he looked up just in time to make eye contact with Jake. There was some bared emotion, deep in his eyes, that Jake could see from all the way across the room. It gave him courage, somehow.

“I trust her. She’s great, don’t worry.” Jake told his aunt. 

_“She better be. Once I get up there, ain’t nobody gonna hurt you anymore, you hear me? Over my dead body.”_ His aunt announced. 

”I appreciate it, but, you don’t have to uproot your entire life-” Jake started to say, but was once again cut off.

 _”What, and make you uproot your life after everything you’ve been through? At such a volatile time? Moving up there was bad enough. I ain’t gonna make you move back down. Besides, we both know the south just ain’t for you. And don’t worry, we don’t give a single damn on whether you’re kissing boys or girls or both. There isn’t anything wrong with that, and there isn’t a single thing wrong with you. And if your mother were here she’d tell you the same, she didn’t blink an eye over all this homophobia and what not, she wasn’t as ignorant as her damned husband. That Eve woman told me your friends helped you knock out that big drunk idiot, and i’m not going to make you leave your friends you’ve made up there. They sound like fine people and i’d like to buy them dinner when I get there.”_ Jamie said firmly. Jake felt warmth fill his twisting gut, and he reached a hand to wipe away some stray tears. 

“Thank you, Aunt Laurie.” He said, and his voice broke embarrassingly. She continued to assure him everything would be alright, but soon had to go. After that, Eve took them both home to her house. 

“I’ll have a police car outside, just in case.” She said, typing away on her phone as they entered the house. “And Jake, I don’t want you sleeping in the living room. You and Ezekiel can share a room for a while. Worst case scenario, someone breaks in, if you’re all the way up there it takes them longer to get there, and my room’s between you and them.” She told them. Ezekiel felt a slight flush at spending a prolonged amount of time sharing a room with the guy he had feelings for. But that was immature - he needed to stop thinking like that. Jake was going through stuff right now, Ezekiel shouldn’t be thinking about his own feelings.

“You guys can go get settled, and I need to go to my office to finish some paperwork. But I promise it won’t take long, and then I’ll make some dinner.” She said, as they walked up the stairs.

“I can make dinner.” Ezekiel offered, wanting to do something to relieve this situation. 

“Honey, no, you’ve been through enough. You knocked an abusive prick over the head with a lamp, I think I can make some mashed potatoes and macaroni.” Eve insisted. Ezekiel felt a strange pang in his heart - Maria used to call him honey. But he just nodded, and soon Eve was gone into her office.

“You can take the bed.” Ezekiel said, as he opened the door to his room. Stumpy, who was curled up on his bed, hopped up and hurried towards them. Ezekiel crouched down to the floor to greet him, letting the dog lick his hands and face. 

“No, you can-” Jake started to say, but Ezekiel craned his head up to fix Jake with a firm look.

“You’re the one that’s banged up, bro. Take the bed. Sleeping on the floor covered in bruises is the worst, I know. And you’ve already done enough of that.” Ezekiel told him.

“You know?” Jake echoed. Ezekiel hesitated, cursing the slip. Cursing it’s implications. But then he looked up at Jake - Jake had looked so unsure, so ashamed. This whole thing. Like he just wanted the floor to swallow him up. It was unnerving, to see the usually fairly confidant boy unable to look anyone in the eye. 

Ezekiel swallowed, and looked down at Stumpy as he scratched behind his ears. “I’ve been roughed up in my time.” He said, trying to make it sound casual. He hoped it would give Jake a sense he wasn’t entirely alone.

But he couldn’t give away too much of that feeling, because for the most part, it would be a false feeling. He and Jake - they weren’t the same. It wasn’t the same. Jake didn’t deserve it, Ezekiel did. But the last thing Jake needed right now was to feel even more like a fish out of water.

Jake nodded, accepting the slight gift. He let a little bit of the tension leave his spine. 

“I’ll have to go get my stuff tomorrow.” Jake said, sighing. He frowned down at his shirt. It was a button up. Not the best thing to sleep in. But sleeping with no shirt on would reveal just how banged up he was, and he really didn’t want to do that. 

“I bet Eve has something you could borrow, she likes men’s t shirts. Head into the bathroom and like, brush your teeth and shit, there’s a bunch of spare toothbrushes. I’ll go look for something for you to change into.” Ezekiel offered, standing up. Jake nodded, and they both headed into the hall. Jake headed to the right, towards the bathroom, and Ezekiel to the left. He knocked on Eve’s door. 

“Come in!” She called. Ezekiel pushed open the door, stepping in. 

“Hey, do you have anything Jake can-” He started to say, but then froze when he laid eyes on her desk. Her large monitor had Skype open, and Maria Reynolds was staring directly at him. Eve must have noticed his shock, or maybe she noticed how pale he suddenly got. She turned in her computer chair towards him.

“I called her to ask a bit about legal things involving situations like this. I figured she’d know. What did you need?” Eve asked. Ezekiel swallowed. He opened and closed his mouth, still staring at the screen with Maria’s smiling face on it. Maria tilted her head at him, smiling wider. Her eyes were sharp, even on camera. Her movements lagged just a little bit. 

“I’m well versed in dealing with kids that have been beaten up, after all.” Maria added. Her voice sounded strange, coming through the video feed, but it held all the same power it always had. Eve nodded. Ezekiel felt like he was going to throw up. He swallowed past the lump in his throat, blood pounding in his ears. He pulled his eyes away from the screen, and focused in on Eve. 

“Do you have any shirt Jake could borrow to sleep in?” He asked, voice coming out a little harsh. His mouth was suddenly very, very dry. Eve frowned thoughtfully.

“Yeah, some old oversized t shirts in the box in the back of my closet.” She said. “You can go grab them.” 

 

“Thank you.” Ezekiel said, and then turned and hurried back out the door, shutting it a little too hard behind him. Eve frowned remorsefully as he went. She knew that seeing Maria probably brought up a lot of feelings. Eve turned back to the screen, offering Maria a smile. The woman’s grey eyes were on the door behind Eve, her expression thoughtful. 

“You’ll let him go into your room alone?” Maria asked. 

“I trust him.” Eve said simply. Maria turned to stare at her, blinking. Then she pursed her lips.

“So, how’s he been doing?” She asked. Her expression trembled just slightly. Eve felt a wave of sympathy. It must have brought up a lot of feelings to see Ezekiel. She knew how much it had broken their hearts for him to run away from them.

“Well. We’ve had some rough patches, but it’s an uphill walk. He’s trying really hard in school. Did you know he was dyslexic?” Eve asked. She couldn't help but be curious.

Maria blinked again. “He is? No, he never said anything, I never knew. I always thought he had a hard time reading because he’d never been in school much.” She said. Eve frowned.

“He hadn’t?” She asked.

“He didn't tell you?” Maria asked. Eve shook her head. Maria raised an eyebrow.

“How much has he told you?” Her voice held a sharper edge to it.

“Not much. I don't think he trusts me enough yet.” Eve admitted. She ran a hand through her hair.

“Did he...trust you?” She asked. Maria smiled sadly. 

“With his life. He trusted me more than anything in the world.” Maria sighed, wistfully. Nostalgically. Eve was surprised to hear that, and felt a sadness well up in her.

“Why did he leave, then?” She found herself asking softly. It just didn't make sense. Maria shrugged, shaking her head sadly.

“Because,” Maria said with an air of tragic fact. “He doesn't trust himself.” 

There was a long silence. 

“So, about that custody loophole-”

\---------------------------------

Ezekiel hurried to Eve’s room, and made a beeline for the closet. He got down on his hands and knees, and pushed his way through the hanging dresses and coats. He reached a hand towards the cardboard box- and then his body stilled. His fingers curled backwards into his palm, his outstretched arm started to shake. He squeezed his eyes shut and bowed his head, curling in on himself. 

He breathed in deep. Trying to resist the trepidations of his uncertain heart. He had to focus. Focus on now, and on the future. 

But the past was oh so eager to cling to him. 

_Ezekiel strained up against the handcuffs, ignoring how it hurt his wrists and ankles. But he only succeeded in flopping back down onto the bed with a pathetic whimper of helplessness. He had been struggling for two whole days against the confinement, he hadn’t even been able to sleep. But he was surely growing tired now._

 

_The door creaked, the padlock on the other side loudly undoing. Ezekiel froze in fear. The door opened, letting harsh light from the hall into the void of the empty, suffocating room. A breath of fresh air flowed in, and Ezekiel gasped it in as if he was drowning. The windows were taped over with trash bags, and there was no ventilation. Otherwise, the room appeared normal, if dark and bare. A bed. A nightstand. A dresser, and an armoire. But as empty as it was, it felt full. Full with an overbearing pressure. Drawing in on him from all sides._

_The silhouette of an angel stood in the doorway, a soft cotton shirt loose around her. It was white, so the light made it glow. Her long white skirt flowed behind her, trailing like a river of innocence. Maria smiled at him warmly as she approached, carrying a tray of food in her hands. His stomach heaved and begged loudly, but his mouth remained clenched shut in fear. John was not with her._

_”Good morning, honey.” Maria said softly. Her hair, loosely curled, fell over her shoulder as she leaned to set the tray gently on the nightstand. He watched her apprehensively. Maria leaned over him, and Ezekiel held his breath as she leaned to inspect his wrists. Bound by handcuffs to the metal frame, she tutted her tongue as she saw how raw and inflamed they were._

_”You really should stop struggling. It’s not your job to be hurting yourself, it’s your job to be learning your lesson and reflecting.” She told him. Ezekiel watched as she walked across the room, pulling the simplistic chair next to the dresser over to the side of the bed. She sat down, and leaned to pick up a piece of toast. She offered it to him, using her other hand to gently brush the hair out of his face. He trembled under her touch._

_”If hurting yourself was what I thought would help,” She continued. “I would tell you to do it. You know that.” She said. Then she held the toast close to his mouth._

_”Eat.” She commanded, urging him to take a bite, as if she was talking to an animal. He slowly did, relishing in finally having food. Some of the fear and tension left his frame, as embarrassing as it was to have her have to feed him. It only served to drive home just how helpless he was, just how at her mercy he was. She smiled, and continued to run her hand through his hair._

_”Good boy.” She cooed._

\--------------

Ezekiel breathed in deep, trying to calm himself down and shove those memories away. Of course Eve would be talking to Maria. She had no reason not to. Maria was her friend. Maria had done nothing wrong. It was Ezekiel who had failed her.

But right now, he shouldn’t be focusing on that. He reached into the box and rummaged around until he found a t shirt that he figured would fit Jake. Then he crawled out backwards, and stood up. To find Eve walking into the room. He froze, clutching the t shirt. Why he froze, he didn’t know. He hadn’t done anything wrong in here. 

“You’re still in here? That was like, five minutes ago.” Eve asked, stopping to look at him quizzically.

“I didn’t take anything.” Ezekiel assured her instantly. 

“I know.” She said without hesitation. Then her face twisted up with a bit of remorse. “Look, uh. I’m sorry about that. In there. I know it must be hard to see her.” Eve apologized. 

“Why would it?” Ezekiel asked, swallowing the tightness in his throat. 

“I know things must not have ended well with you guys.” Eve provided. Ezekiel bit the inside of his cheek. He looked down at his shoes and shrugged.

“She didn’t do anything wrong.” Ezekiel said awkwardly. 

“Did John?” Eve asked, curiosity painfully evident in her voice. She couldn’t hold it back - Ezekiel was the first foster child the Reynolds had ever had that had ever run away. And they had taken in some pretty messed up kids before. 

“No.” Ezekiel nearly snapped. The room was tense. Eve nodded - from this, the conversation she’d just had with Maria, and her general understanding of Ezekiel...she was beginning to gather an inkling as to why Ezekiel had run.

“Well, you better take that shirt to Jake.” Eve said, jerking her thumb over her shoulder. 

Ezekiel took the out, hurrying towards the door. He headed down the hall, trying to clear his mind. He opened the door - to see Jake on the toilet.

“Shit! Sorry!” Ezekiel exclaimed, panicking and slamming the door before a surprised Jake could say anything. He stared at the opposite wall, mortified. Hadn’t they already had a hard enough day without embarrassing shit like this?

A few moments later, the door opened. “It’s alright dude, we’ve all walked in on someone on the toilet. You got that shirt?” Jake asked. Ezekiel turned to him, awkwardly smiling as he handed him the t shirt. It had the logo of some construction company on it, and was green. Jake took it with a smile, and shut the door again. Ezekiel sagged, groaning and rolling his eyes. He was such an idiot. He headed back to the room and started to lay blankets out on the floor. 

 

Everytime he pushed a blanket flat on the floor, Stumpy jumped on it, pushing it back in. Ezekiel quickly became distracted, and soon he was using the blanket as a lure for Stumpy to chase around the tight square of empty space. 

“You’re a huge nerd, you know that?” Jake’s voice came from the doorway. He turned to see Jake smiling at him. It was an easy smile, a relaxed smile. Ezekiel rolled his eyes.

“I think you have to be smart to be a nerd.” He protested. Jake frowned at him in protest.

“Hey, you’re a world class thief, remember?” He said encouragingly. Ezekiel felt a flush spread over his features. 

“Not to mention my expert hacking skills. The NSA better watch out.” Ezekiel said, drawing himself up a little bit. Jake laughed, and headed forward to grab another blanket from the closet to help Ezekiel make up a bed. 

Once they’d set up the bed on the floor, Jake got into the real bed, but Ezekiel headed towards the window seat. Ezekiel smiled slightly as he watched Jake sink into the bed with a happy sigh. 

 

“Aren’t you tired?” Jake asked, as he pulled blankets on top of himself. 

“Not really. I like the view. I’ll go to bed soon.” Ezekiel explained, as he leaned against the wall and drew his knees up to his chest. The moonlight was blossoming on the horizon, gracefully sculpting a landscape of twinkling lights between the thick trees. 

Jake laid awake, watching Ezekiel watch the night. He had no idea how long he laid there, contemplating so many things at once as he appreciated the curve of Ezekiel’s jaw. 

“Were you serious?” He finally asked. Ezekiel’s head turned towards him, painted in long shadows.

“What?” He asked.

“Were you serious, when you suggested straight up killing my dad?” Jake asked, slightly concerned over the matter.

What he could make out of Ezekiel’s face became somewhat guarded. He turned back to the window, shrugging.

“He hurt you.” Was the only reply Jake got.

“Doesn’t necessarily mean we should stage his suicide.” Jake carried on.

“You didn’t deserve it.” Ezekiel added, as another bullet point.

“As everyone keeps telling me. But, still-” 

“Not everybody had the Southern All-American values family home life you did.” Ezekiel said curtly, cutting him off. “Some people have a harsher world view.” 

Jake blinked. He drank that information in for a moment, then he laid back onto the bed. 

“Well, I appreciate it.” He announced. Ezekiel’s head turned back towards him.

“What? Home-grown goody two-shoes says _what_?” Ezekiel asked. 

“Well, i’ve never had anyone care enough about me to outright offer to stage a suicide.” He said matter of factly. 

Ezekiel chuckled slightly, and made no move to deny the fact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've worked out a super in depth outline for this, and i've worked out that this fic is going to be around 34-36 chapters long! And then i'll have 3-5 timestamps after that, so I hope you're all enjoying what i'm dishing out, cause there's gonna be a good amount :D
> 
> Come talk to me at queerseth.tumblr.com i love people pleas e


	22. normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake struggles with keeping it together, and Ezekiel just struggles in general.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOUNDTRACK:  
> http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/home-is-where-the-heart-is
> 
> Don't forget to come talk to be at queerseth.tumblr.com!

Ezekiel tossed and turned, as the waking world assaulted his conscience. He frowned, groaning as he sat up. Some noise had brought him forth, scratching at the edge of his sleep. Tearing little pieces of the surrounding darkness asunder, so that irritating light could reach him. It beckoned insistently, and noises pierced through the darkness. Ezekiel sat up, groaning as he pulled away from the void of sleep. He blinked the fog out of his eyes, and looked around for the source of the noise that had awoken him. 

Before he had gone to sleep, he had pulled both the inner curtains and the outer curtains closed over the window. Thus, not even moonlight parted the reality of the room. Only shadows surrounded him. It was a soft darkness, like velvet. Like the sheer scarves his aunt Rain used to drape over her lamps and mirrors. A gossamer, fluttering atmosphere pervaded the night. As if at any point in time, the slightest breeze could push it all away. 

After an echoing, hazey instant, the noise that had beckoned him grieved once more unto the air. It was a mutter, a pained one. A grunt of distress, laced with unintelligible words. 

Ezekiel knew without needing to think that it was Jake making the noises. He struggled to get out from under the blankets, standing and leaning over the side of the bed. 

Jake had thrown off his own covers, and they lay tangled up between his legs. He was curled at the farthest side of the bed, against the wall. His face was screwed up in what seemed to be pain, or fear, or perhaps both. Ezekiel stayed there for a moment, frozen, unsure of the procedure in a situation like this. Maybe he should just let it alone? People had bad dreams all the time. He was under no obligation to- 

Jake made another sound, body shifting in a watered down panic. He began to murmur apologies - _i’m sorry, i’m sorry, try harder, sorry_ \- and Ezekiel’s heart stalled a beat. He bit the inside of his cheek, and walked around the bed to where he could be the closest to Jake. He leaned forward, pressing one knee into the bed as he reached to shake Jake’s shoulder.

“Hey, Cowboy? Wake up, mate.” Ezekiel called as loudly as he dared. Jake did not wake, but seemed to react to Ezekiel’s touch. He tried to move away, movements becoming more frantic. His muttering increased, and he kicked at the blankets tangled between his legs. Ezekiel frowned, and leaned a little closer, shaking a little harder.

“Jake, it’s just a dream, wake u-” He started to call, but was cut off when Jake did just that. But he did so with a heaving jolt, ripping away from the dream and from Ezekiel all in one go. He was saturated in panic, but not one of cowering and scrambling away. No, Jake’s wild, nightmare ridden gaze took in Ezekiel’s presence in an instant, and interpreted it as something entirely different. 

Jake made some sort of shout, and his fist whipped out to defend himself. Ezekiel was hit square in the jaw, and he fell back off the bed. He landed flat on his ass on the floor. Luckily, the mound of blankets and pillows he’d been using as a bed made the fall a little more bearable. Ezekiel took a moment to realize what had happened, and reached a hand to touch his face where he’d been stricken.

Almost right after the action, Jake’s mind cleared fully, and he realized what he’d just done. He scrambled to the edge of the bed, wide eyes piercing the velvet shadows to stare at Ezekiel in horror. Ezekiel blinked up at him as pain throbbed across his jaw.

“Oh my god, oh my god, fuck, i’m so sorry, I didn’t- i’m sorry, fuck, shit-” Jake’s throat started to close up in absolutely overwhelming guilt. His heart felt like every beat was a self-inflicted stab. He’d hit Ezekiel! How could he fucking punched his friend in the face like that? How could he just hit anyone like that with no reason? Not to mention Ezekiel had obviously been abused and now he’d probably hate Jake and Jake probably deserved it and-

“Dude, it’s okay.” Ezekiel’s voice pierced through the whirlwind of Jake’s thoughts. “You didn’t mean to, you were having a nightmare. Probably thought you were punching your dad. So, kudos, actually.” The other boy said, rubbing his jaw as he offered Jake an impressed smile. Jake stared at him, now in surprise, and started to furrow his brow.

“No, no, it’s not okay! I hit you! I didn’t-” He started to protest, but they were both pulled away from the conversation by the bedroom door opening. The light flicked on, and there stood Eve, in matching plaid pajamas, with a gun in her hand.

“I heard yelling, is everyone alright?” She demanded, analytical gaze sizing up everything that was happening in the scene in front of her.

“I hit Ezekiel!” Jake admitted loudly, face twisting up in guilt. As if hoping Eve would be on his side, and would be appropriately angry at him. Eve frowned in confusion, and opened her mouth to demand an elaboration, but Ezekiel cut her off. 

“ _No,_ ” Ezekiel announced, standing up and sighing. “He didn’t. He was having a nightmare and he reacted before he was all the way awake. And now he’s all butthurt over it. It’s not a big deal.” 

Eve blinked, understanding that, and then opened her mouth to tell Jake to let it go. But again, she was cut off by the opposing teenager.

“It is a big deal! And honestly I’m butthurt that you’re _not_ butthurt.” Jake exclaimed. Ezekiel turned to him.

“You don’t have to blame yourself for everything like everything is the end of the world. You need to stop being so butthurt!” He replied. Jake’s face screwed up in anger, guilt, and confusion.

“Well - well - you need to start being _more_ butthurt! I bet you would say it wasn’t a big deal if I hit you on purpose! That’s the real problem here! You didn’t even defend yourself against Tom, let alone helped us help you!” Jake said, throwing his hands up in exasperation. His words were, Eve noted, tinged with more concern now than anger. Ezekiel’s eyes glinted with that look, the look that meant his perfectly cultivated appearance was being threatened. Her foster son opened up his mouth for some swift, emotional retort he would surely regret, but this time it was Eve’s turn to cut them off.

“Can we _please_ stop using the word butthurt?” She exclaimed, tucking her gun into the back of her pants and raising her hands in a sign of peace. 

They both looked at her, and seemed to take a moment to step away from their emotions. She took this opportunity to sort things out the best she could. 

“Jake, it wasn’t your fault, people who’ve been hurt like that are bound to have nightmares, and waking up from that isn’t pretty. You’re not the only one, trust me. I know more than my fair share of soldiers who wake up every morning thinking they’re under fire.” She told him, and he drank in her words, looking down at his feet to think over the truth of what she was saying. She turned her direction to Ezekiel to let Jake simmer over that.

“And Jake’s right about you, too.” She said, swallowing past a sudden lump in her throat. She didn’t let it alter her calm, authoritative demeanor. “You didn’t defend yourself against Tom, and you didn’t help them. And you didn’t even talk for hours after the fact. There’s something going on there, and we haven’t talked about it.” Eve said. Ezekiel looked a little paler, and a wall fell down around him. She decided to let that breath.

“But we don’t have to talk about it right now. Both of you calm down, no one is at fault here.” She announced in finality. They both took this with a grain of salt, looking anywhere but at each other. 

“Now, get back to bed. It's only midnight.” Eve instructed. As if anything about their situation could be labeled _only_. And as she left, the soft, gentle warmth of the darkness went with her. Leaving behind only cold, unforgiving hues. 

They both returned to bed, nothing to be said. Not to say words did not give breath into their minds, echoes of what they had already said and utterings of a still untold, incoherent conversation. 

As they lay, brewing in silence, they did not sleep. They were not deceived by each other, for that matter. A tense awareness reigned, a mutual knowledge that sleep was beyond them. 

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of the ticking clock on the wall and the creaking of the house, Jake broke the cold air.

“Wanna go watch TV downstairs?” He asked. Finally able to breath properly, Ezekiel practically flew into a sitting position.

“I thought you’d never ask.” He replied. Jake hopped off the bed as Ezekiel stood. Ezekiel stopped to grab his phone, and then turned to open the door for Jake. As Jake walked towards him, the sun’s first rays of morning pierced the curtains. The warmth of better mornings slowly filled the house as they headed downstairs, each taking a side of the couch. They debated over what to watch, and settled on Leverage. 

Relaxing and focusing on something else, the tension of the night was soon forgotten. The tension of the entire situation still lingered, but for a few hours, they allowed themselves to forget it. 

Ezekiel was making coffee in the kitchen, with Jake sitting at the counter looking at his phone, when Eve finally came down, and greeted them.

“We should get some breakfast, and then we’ll go over to Jake’s old house, and pack up his things.” She announced. Jake felt his throat tighten up, and looked down at his phone as if it was the most interesting thing he’d ever seen. Ezekiel had a feeling that wasn’t going to be fun for Jake.

“And you guys don’t have to go to school today if you don’t want to.” Eve added. Ezekiel blinked, turning to her. Jake looked up from his phone in confusion.

“What?” He asked.

“It’s Monday. Your suspensions are up.” She informed him.

“It slipped my mind, damn.” He said, as Eve stooped to open the pan cupboard.

“Hey, hey, you don’t have to make breakfast.” He said, stepping towards her. She stood, setting a pan on the stove. 

“You’ve been up all night.” He said, before she could argue. 

“So have you two.” She countered. Ezekiel tilted his head, giving her a look.

“We got a few hours. You haven’t hit the pillow.” He said matter of factly. She sighed, unable to deny it.

“Well, what would you make?” She asked.

“Who’s up for apple soup?” He suggested. Jake’s head shot up, and he sat up straighter. 

“Yes!” He exclaimed, in excitement. Eve furrowed her brow.

“What the hell is apple soup?” She demanded.

“The best thing ever, trust me.” Jake assured her. She shrugged, and moved to join Jake at the table while Ezekiel started to cook. 

“How can you cook with those gloves on?” Eve asked. Ezekiel glanced down at the black leather, fingerless gloves he always wore. 

“Very carefully.” Was the only reply he offered. 

“Dude, he sleeps with them on.” Jake informed Eve. She cocked an eyebrow, and Ezekiel had to cut back a scathing remark. If he over-reacted towards them questioning his gloves, it might raise a more prominent suspicion. 

Silence fell, as Ezekiel didn’t reply and nobody had much to say. Especially this early in the morning. Jake watched him cook, mind roaming back to the last time he’d been here, watching Ezekiel make the strange dish.

“Are you ever going to tell me about that prostitute aunt of yours?” Jake asked suddenly, while Ezekiel was pouring the liquid he’d concocted into the pot. Eve turned to Jake.

“ _What?_ ” She asked. Ezekiel kept his back turned to them. 

“I don’t know man, he said his prostitute aunt taught him how to make this.” He said, gesturing towards Ezekiel at the stove. Eve looked over at the boy, wheels churning steadily in her head. 

“An aunt, you say?” She asked, trying not to seem to desperate for information. She thought back to her conversation with Maria earlier. 

_How much has he told you?_

Ezekiel had been open with John and Maria. Ezekiel seemed to tell even Jake and them more than he ever told her. She tried not to feel hurt over it, but she couldn’t help it. 

“Well, sort of.” Ezekiel said curtly. There was a beat of silence, and they waited for him to carry on. But he didn’t.

“Sort of?” Jake prompted. Ezekiel swallowed past the lump in his throat, concentrating on stirring the soup. 

“She wasn’t my aunt by blood. She was my mother’s best friend.” He clarified, trying to let any emotion into his voice.

“Was your mother a…” Jake started to say, then trailed off, and the tension doubled.

“So, do you guys want toast with this?” Ezekiel said, a little louder than normally, an announcement that the conversation was over. Jake and Eve exchanged a look, their interest peaked, but feeling slightly guilty for pressing the issue.

They ate breakfast quickly, and then got in the car and headed to Jake’s. The car ride was awkward at best, abysmally tense at worst. There was a police line around the house, and a patrol car there, with people looking over the scene.

“You two grab whatever Jake wants for right now, i’ll be over here.” Eve instructed, heading to talk to one of her colleagues. Jake was sullen and silent as he led Ezekiel back to his room. Eve had had some cardboard boxes in her garage which they had brought with them, and now set down on the ground. A policewoman was already in the room, and watched them silently. Ezekiel held a box for Jake to toss his clothes into, noting how Jake was moving as quickly as possible. 

They moved from Jake’s clothes, to some knickknacks on his shelves, and then Ezekiel watched as Jake crouched down on the floor. The policewoman raised an eyebrow as Jake started to pull up floorboards. It was Ezekiel’s turn to raise an eyebrow as the boy pulled books upon books and countless notebooks out from underneath of them. 

“Seriously? Hiding your secret life under the floor? What is this, Gilmore Girls?” Ezekiel asked. Jake turned to look at him.

“Says the guy who watches Gilmore Girls.” He huffed.

“Hey, fuck you, Lorelai Gilmore is one of the best fictional characters there is. She’s like the greatest mom in the history of fictional moms.” Ezekiel protested. Jake rolled his eyes and went back to pulling up books and stacking them in the box next to him. The policewoman left to go do something, and they were left alone for a moment. 

“Hey, Jake?” Came a voice, and they turned to see Eve sticking her head into the doorway. She blinked for a moment at the open floorboards, then jerked her thumb over her shoulder. “Can you come talk to the Lieutenant for a moment, it’s about your dad.” She asked. Jake swallowed.

“Is he back?” Jake asked. Eve shook her head.

“Uh, no. That’s what they want to talk to you about. They want to know if you know where he might run to.” She told him. Jake nodded, and stood, following her out the door. Ezekiel felt, in the air of that exchange, that he should stay here. 

Alone in Jake’s room, Ezekiel rocked on his heels for a little while, feeling awkward. He looked at vines on his phone for a while, which earned a few laughs, but his phone soon died. Jeez, how long are they gonna talk about that asshole? Why not let him stay gone? 

Ezekiel’s restlessness soon pulled his eyes towards those gaps in the floor. Mostly it was just books, but in the farthest one, near the closet, Ezekiel spied another shape. A lock box. With a _lock_

Ezekiel glanced towards the door. Wooden floors like this, he’d surely hear them coming. And it was just sitting there, calling his name. What was the worst that could be in it? Notes about art and history and languages? Porn? 

The more he thought about it, the more it pulled at him. What _was_ so bad it had to be locked up? So bad hiding it under the floorboards wasn’t safe enough? Money, maybe? Human eyeballs? 

Ezekiel, giving into his curiosity, moved forward and kneeled to pull out the box. He rattled it slightly. It sounded like paper. And not like currency paper. 

He glanced again towards the door, biting his lip. Then he reached under his shirt, and pulled out his lanyard. For a moment he paused, rubbing his thumb over the black flash drive that hung from it, before he moved on to pull his trusty lockpicking set off. He made quick, satisfying work of the small padlock. He hesitated again, tucking the kit in his pocket, before he made his decision and pulled open the lid of the metallic box. 

What he found was not what he was expecting. Not that he’d been expecting anything in particular. In the box he found the plastic pages of what was once a photo album, he assumed. Why the pages where in a box instead of bound in the album itself, he had no guess. Next to the plastic pages was a single silver ring, with the diamond missing. It looked expensive - a classic wedding ring. It looked like the stone had been pried out. He had no idea why someone would do such a thing. It only made the stone and the ring less valuable, to part them. 

His attention moved to the plastic pages, and he pulled them up, sifting through them. They had pictures of Isaac, with a woman he didn’t recognize, what he assumed was a younger Jake, and a bunch of Southern looking white people he didn’t recognize. Doing all sorts of things. Weddings, what looked like family reunions, vacations, barbecues, at bars. There was what seemed to be pre-teen Jake, sitting at a bar with his dad, drinking a root beer. They were wearing matching cowboy hats. 

Some of the pictures had been ripped up, and someone had carefully tried to tape them back together. All the ripped picture seemed to be of the same smiling woman, with wide hips and dark hair, and sparkling eyes. Jake’s mother, Ezekiel realized. Who had ripped up the pictures? 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Came an angry exclamation, and Ezekiel jumped, practically flying out of this skin. The pages flew out of his hand and scattered across the floor, the plastic glinting in the light. 

Jake was stalking towards him, red in the face. He glared at Ezekiel as he quickly stopped to start picking up the pages. Ezekiel was frozen, caught red handed, multiple emotions compiling as he tried to decide between fight or flight. 

“What the fuck, Jones?” Jake demanded again, as he stuffed the pages back into the lock box and relocked it. Ezekiel gulped, glancing around the room. 

“I, uh, well -” He really wasn’t a fan of lying, so he should probably just bite the bullet. He gulped, and spoke clearer. “I shouldn’t have done that.” 

“What the fuck is wrong with you then?” Jake demanded, shoving the lock box into the large cardboard box. His voice, strong in anger, shook slightly regardless. Ezekiel sat up straight, and pushed his nerves over it away. Own up to it.

“I’m sorry.” He said, surprising himself. But, well, he was. Jake looked up at him, not expecting that. Ezekiel must have looked genuinely sorry, because most of the anger left Jake’s frame.

“Whatever. Just don’t do it again. My privacy’s all I got man.” Jake muttered, looking away from him. Ezekiel felt even worse now. 

“Well, that and an IQ of 190.” He commented dryly, earning a roll of the eyes from the other boy. 

“Have you ever been tested for IQ?” Jake asked, looking over at him again as he picked up the heavy box. Ezekiel stood, scoffing.

“Are you kidding? I’d get a score of like, three. And that would be entirely via cheating.” He huffed. Jake took a moment to look at him, furrowing his brow slightly.

“You’re not stupid, Ezekiel.” He said seriously. Ezekiel felt a tightness, where his neck met his chest. 

“Are you kidding? I’ve got _street smarts_ , my man. Can’t test that on paper.” He said, hoping to push the subject away. Jake rolled his eyes again, and Ezekiel followed him back out the door.

“So, uh, you gonna go to school?” Ezekiel asked, as they made their way down the hallway.

“I...don’t think it’s a good idea. I’m a bit under the weather.” Jake replied. Ezekiel nodded, understanding all too well what he really meant by that. He couldn’t imagine how banged up Jake was on a whole, based on the bruises he _could_ see. 

“Then I won't either.” Ezekiel decided. Jake stopped suddenly, causing Ezekiel to nearly run into him. The other boy turned to him.

“Look, Ezekiel…”Jake seemed thoughtful. “What you did in there was pretty shady.”

“Uh. Hello. Thief? Vagabond? Why haven't you people gotten the memo?” Ezekiel huffed, throwing his hands up. Jake fixed him with an unimpressed look. 

“Yeah, sure, whatever. You should make it up to me by going to school today.” Jake continued. If Jake was being honest, Ezekiel’s opinion of his mental capacity really bothered Jake. As hypocritical as that might be. 

“What?” Ezekiel asked, furrowing his brow. Jake adjusted his grip on the box he was holding, which seemed to be growing heavier by the minute.

“Ezekiel, please, okay? Just go to school. It won’t be that bad, and you’ve already missed so much. Besides, you don’t want to leave Cassandra all alone, do you? With Lily and Tom on the prowl?” Jake asked. Ezekiel frowned, cursing how right he was. He huffed, gesturing down the hall.

“Fine, i’ll go, but I won’t do anything.” He said, urging Jake to keep walking. 

“Sure you won’t.” Jake replied, as they moved back into the living room with the cops and Eve. Ezekiel scowled at the remark, sticking his tongue out at the back of Jake’s head.

They soon returned to the house, and Eve decided that if Jake was staying home, she would too. Just to be safe.

“I can drive you.” She offered, when Ezekiel announced he indeed was going to go anyways. He was going to be a period or two late, it was already mid morning. But Jake’s expression told him what he had to do. 

“Nah, i’ll skateboard. I haven't done that in a while, I'll go grab another coffee on the way.”

“Please be careful.” Eve sighed.

“No promises.” Ezekiel replied cockily, as he bounded up the stairs to go grab his bag and board. He slapped his helmet on his head, and then said goodbye to Stumpy on his way out the door.

It was a cold morning, and the sky was overcast. He didn't bother looking around much and meandering like he usually did on his way to school. He did not stop to get a cup of coffee, either. He concentrated on getting to school as fast as possible. Not that he particularly cared about school for himself. No, it was what Jake had said about leaving Cassandra alone at the mercy of Tom and Lily. She’d already been alone for two periods, and she hadn't been texting them like she usually did.

He got to school and quickly checked in with the attendance lady, just in time for math. When he got there, Cassandra was sitting in the back, in Jake’s hoodie and sweatpants. Her bald spot near proudly on display. Her eyes were buried in some book that was larger than the dictionary. He hurried to sit next to her, and her eyes widened as she took notice of his approach. 

“Ezekiel! How’s Jake?” She asked earnestly. He slid into the seat next to her.

“Staying at Baird’s today. We went and got some of his stuff. His aunt is moving up here to take care of him. What about you?” He asked.

“What about me?” She inquired. He frowned.

“You haven’t been texting us. And, plus, this is Lily and Tom’s first day back too.” He muttered. At the names he turned, scanning the room to make sure neither them or their goonies where gearing to pop out of the shadows.

“Lily tried to give me shit earlier, but I handled it. Tom isn’t here today, I don’t know why. The rest of them are kinda hiding behind Lily, even the guys. And she couldn’t even be as mean as I think she wanted to be, they’ve got an eye on those guys.” Cassandra shrugged. Then she looked away, swallowing visibly. “And the reason I wasn’t texting you guys...is because my parents took my phone away.” She admitted. Ezekiel blinked at her.

“What? Why?” He asked in confusion.

“...they weren’t very happy about the incident. With Jake’s dad. And all the police.” She said hesitantly. Understanding clicked in Ezekiel’s head, and he took a moment to press himself into the back of the chair he was sitting in.

“They...punished you...for helping him escape an abusive drunk piece of shit?” He asked in disbelief. She turned the page of her book, watching it fall down as if it were supremely interesting. 

“I tried to argue but, it didn’t work very well. It’s like they just don’t get a word i’m saying. Like we’re speaking different languages.” She sighed solemnly. Ezekiel could only shake his head. 

“Do they not like Jake? Do they think he deserves it?” He asked. Cassandra turned to look at him in alarm.

“What? No, of course not. They said it was the right thing to do, of course. Nobody deserves to be abused. At least, physically. Which is the only way they think someone can be abused, I think. I mean, they don’t _love_ Jake, but...they’re not monsters. They don’t think anyone deserves that. They just...really weren’t happy I was so reckless, apparently. I don’t know what else they _expected_ me to do, but, at this point I just don’t care.” She sighed. Ezekiel frowned a little bit more, confused by what she was saying. Nobody? That didn’t quite add up. But he decided not to think on it.

“So, uh…” Ezekiel cleared his throat, trying to seem casual about the matter. “Speaking of you, and Jake. How’s that going?” The words were bitter in his mouth.

“I don’t know. I mean,” She gave him a glance out of the corner of her eye, one he didn’t understand. “I know we both...like each other. A lot. But things are a bit complicated, so, i’m not sure where we’ll go from here. And it’s not really the most important thing going on right now, I don’t want to put anymore pressure on him.” She explained. Ezekiel nodded. 

“Complicated…” He cocked his head. “Is this about the whole, you know, brain grape thing?” He asked. Cassandra tilted her head to glare at him.

“Just because I told you it’s the size of a grape doesn’t mean that’s an appropriate name to call it.” She huffed.

“Okay, okay, sorry…” Ezekiel said in surrender. There was a pause, and he knew he was going to hate himself forever for what he was going to say next. “Because I think you two should go for it.” 

Cassandra’s glare fell away, to a look that was full of emotions he didn’t recognize. 

“You do?” She asked softly. 

“Yeah. You two are perfect for each other. I knew you liked each other since my first day here. You gotta hold on to the happiness you’ve got, mate. The world fucking sucks.” Ezekiel said, sentiment ringing all too true for him, just in that moment alone. But his own heartache was worth it as he watched Cassandra’s face split into a blushing, giddy smile. 

Cassandra came home with him after that school day, and they found Jake in the living room, cross legged on the ground as he played fetch with Stumpy. Despite the bruises that painted every inch of his face and where littered over his bare arms, he was smiling happily as the dog nuzzled the ball back at him. 

“My two favorite animals!” Ezekiel exclaimed as they entered the room. 

Jake looked up at this, and his smile widened at the sight of Cassandra.

“How was school, guys? Did those assholes give you a hard time?” He asked.

“No, it was alright. Boring without you.” Cassandra said, kneeling to sit on the ground next to him and rub behind Stumpy’s ears. Stumpy made a pleased sound and let his eye fall closed as he enjoyed the attention, his little tail wagging enthusiastically. 

“I'll go tomorrow. Just tired today.” Jake told her. Ezekiel decided it would probably be best to leave them to it, so he silently exited the room and headed up the stairs to find Eve. 

She was in her office, and luckily, she wasn't having a conversation with his old foster mother. No, she was passed out on the desk, surrounded by paperwork. She had three empty coffee cups next to her, and a bajillion tabs open on her computer. Ezekiel should probably let her sleep. But that position couldn't be comfortable… 

Hesitantly, he walked forward, and shook her shoulder. “Colonel Baird?” He called. Her face twitched and she groaned, slowly pulling herself up to blink the sleep out of her eyes. 

“What are you doing home?” She asked with a yawn.

“It’s like, 4:20 in the afternoon.” Ezekiel told her bluntly.

“‘Mmm...blaze it?” She asked. Ezekiel stared at her for a moment, before he burst out laughing, doubling over to hold his stomach. This seemed to finally wake her all the way up, and she smiled. 

“Oh, cut it out. I'm _with it_. I'm still young. I've listened to Beyoncé.” She teased. He only laughed harder, tears of mirth pressing at his eyes, slapping the wall and turning away from her to try and collect himself. As perturbed as she attempted to be, she could only enjoy the way her heart warmed up as Ezekiel truly, all out laughed himself hoarse. Even if it was at her expense. 

Soon his laughter died down and he wiped his eyes, leaning against the wall. 

“Oh, that was too good. Shit.” He sighed happily. She rolled her eyes and stood up, stretching. 

“How was school?” She asked.

“Mostly okay. Cassandra came home with me. Her and her new boyfriend are making heart eyes downstairs.” Ezekiel informed her. Eve blinked.

“They’re finally a thing?” She asked.

“Starting in it, apparently.” Ezekiel shrugged. Eve nodded, and then narrowed her eyes slightly. 

“And…how do you feel about that?” She asked. Ezekiel screwed up his face at her.

“What is that supposed to mean? How am I supposed to feel?” He asked. Her eyebrows approached the ceiling.

“Alright, nevermind. Should I order pizza?” 

\-------------

After they ate dinner, Cassandra’s parents came to pick her up. She pecked Jake on the cheek gently before she left, and Ezekiel felt his heart get all… _twisty_ again. And it seemed surreal, because he couldn't seem to decide if he wanted to have Cassandra kissing his cheek with those soft, strawberry lips - or if he wanted to be brushing his own mouth over Jake’s purple bruises in a show of gentle affection.

God, when did he get so _soft_? He really needed to get these thoughts out of his head. 

Eve had more legal things to work out, and she took Jake into her office to talk over more things with him. Ezekiel hesitated for a little, before he made up his mind - he would eavesdrop on their conversation. For one thing, it was sure to be very private, and very juicy. For another, if he got caught eavesdropping, after the lockbox incident- it would _really_ piss them off. People didn't like to have their privacy violated more than anything else. So if Ezekiel really wanted to go through with getting them to hit him like they were supposed to, this was a good place to start. 

He crept down the hall silently and crouched in front of the door, pressing his ear to the crack and straining for the voices inside.

“...and when did your mother leave?” Eve was asking. In her strange, half-cop, half-mother voice. Ezekiel assumed she was taking down more information for the case, but making it more comfortable for Jake. 

“When I was twelve.” Jake replied, sounding like he was trying very hard to be calm.

“Did your father begin the drinking after that?” Eve inquired.

“No, he drank for as long as I can remember. But...it did get more intense.” Jake replied.

“Was your father ever violent before your mother left, with either you or your mother?”

“Yes. But only when he was really, really drunk. And even then...it was rare. But...sometimes. But it wasn't bad. It was normal.” Jake explained.

“Normal?” Eve seemed slightly alarmed by the description.

“For the area, I mean. For his type of guy.” Jake added. There was a beat of silence, broken only by the scribbling of a pen. 

“And these rare outbursts. Where they towards you, or your mother, or both?” She carried on. 

“Well, I only...I only remember the ones towards me. I never saw any towards her. But I think they happened, now. More than I knew, I guess…”

“We can stop, I'd you’d like.” Eve offered, and Ezekiel assumed she could tell Jake was struggling. 

“Uh, for now, I think we should. I'm just tired, I mean. We can finish later.” Jake agreed, sounding relieved. 

This was it. Ezekiel could hear them approaching the door. If they opened it, and he was still here, leaning over and obviously listening in. They’d be livid. 

He steeled himself, and did not move.

The door opened, and he jumped back as if he was surprised. And then he froze, as if he was a deer caught in headlights. 

Eve and Jake stared at him for a moment. Then understanding clicked. 

“Where you _eavesdropping_?” Eve demanded in offended outrage. Ezekiel shrugged his shoulders, now trying to appear as if he didn't care.

“I've got a curious nature.” 

Jake’s face screwed up, turning red in a mixture of mortification and fury. 

“Seriously? First - first the box, and now _this_? What the fuck? What the fuck is wrong with you? Why can't you be a half decent person for one fucking day?” Jake exclaimed. This was it. Push them a little bit farther and you’ll hit the pressure point.

“What the fuck is wrong with _me_? You’re the one that hides an entire life away under floorboards!” Ezekiel retorted. Jake balled his hands into fists. 

“Says the guy who still hasn't moved into his room and lives out of a duffle bag!” The other boy snarled in opposition.

“That's not the same! You’re never going anywhere. I'm always ready to go.” Ezekiel said proudly, putting his hands on his hips.

This really seemed to strike a nerve with Jake, and a display of emotions ranged across his face. But no outburst ever came, no fist swung.

“I don't know _what_ I saw in you. You’re the last thing I need right now.” Jake huffed, pushing past Ezekiel and storming down the hall. Ezekiel watched him go. He was somehow disappointed and relieved at the same time. 

“Seriously, Jones?” Eve demanded, putting her hands on her hips. Ezekiel returned his gaze to her, and decided to give her a carefree, smug look. He crossed his arms.

“Seriously, Baird? I don’t know what you expect of me.” He dismissed. Eve’s eyes narrowed.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know exactly what I expect of you. Don’t pull that. That was seriously uncool, and by the sounds of it, it’s not the first uncool thing you’ve done. You need to cut it out, at least just for a little while. I know you care about Jake. You need to do your part in making this go as smoothly as possible.” She said sternly. He rolled his eyes.

“I don’t _need_ to do anything.” He countered stubbornly. Eve’s jaw clenched. 

“Go to your room!” She ordered. He blinked at her for a minute, before he started to chuckle.

“Sorry, sorry, that’s just so cliche!” He snickered. She was not amused.  
“No, it’s not. _Cliche_ would be grounding you. And I really don’t want to do that, but I will. So go to your room, apologize to Jake, and get some sleep. And Stumpy stays with me tonight.” She announced.

“How effectively could you _really_ -” He started to scoff, but her eyes narrowed even further before he could finish.

“I’ll get rid of the wifi.” She stated, in a no nonsense tone. That shut him down pretty quickly. Damn, she’d really do it. He blinked at her for a minute - she was really going in all directions of punishment besides the physical. As if she were avoiding it. She really was too good for him. It seemed he’d have to try something else to get her to do what she was supposed to do. Until then, he was getting tired of this game, and tired of the guilt gnawing at him on the inside.

“Okay, okay, calm down. I’m going.” He put his hands up in surrender, and turned to head down the hallway towards his room. He swallowed past a strange lump in his throat as he did, feeling like he had accomplished nothing. 

When he got to his room, the lights were already off. Jake was in bed, and he was curled over so that his back was to Ezekiel. There was no way he was already asleep, but Ezekiel knew there was no way he was going to acknowledge him. He stood in the doorway for a minute, thinking. He really did feel bad - with the lock box thing, and this, he was only making it harder on Jake. And Jake wasn’t reacting the way Ezekiel had hoped he would. This left Ezekiel only feeling like the biggest asshole on the planet.

How would he feel, if someone tore through his private belongings, and eavesdropped on him baring his tragic past? Granted, he would never ever voice his past in the first place, and he only had a few things in the world he would call his own that he wouldn’t want someone to see. 

That train of thought brought him to an idea, but he quickly pushed it away. Jake and him weren't the same. That wouldn’t make up for anything, for Ezekiel to show him that… 

Or would it?

Ezekiel suddenly found, in the cold rays of twilight, that he wasn’t sure of anything anymore. But he found himself feeling that way often. Not that he would ever admit it. 

Ezekiel sighed to himself and closed to door, walking across the room to curl up in the window seat for a while. As good a place to think as any. And contrary to popular belief, Ezekiel Jones did a lot of thinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a little longer, because something really bad happened to me, but - it's ANOTHER TRIPLE LENGTH CHAPTER


	23. frenemies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezekiel is conflicted. What's new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! Another chapter the day after a triple length chapter! I'm on a roll!

The next morning, Jake gave him nothing but glares and the silent treatment. Which was new. Ezekiel found he really didn’t enjoy it. Eve offered no sympathy, and seemed to be giving him as much of a silent treatment as she could while still getting things done. They didn’t have breakfast at home, instead hurrying to get into the car, and grabbing some fast food and coffee on the way to school. Jake sat in the passenger seat in front, instead of sitting in back with Ezekiel. Ezekiel pretended like it wasn’t bothering him, like guilt at making Jake’s situation worse wasn’t eating away at him.

They got to school, and found Cassandra waiting for them outside the doors. Her smile fell as they approached, as she could tell something was up.

“Is everything alright?” She asked in concern.

“No. Jones here is a fucking prick. He thinks this whole thing is a joke.” Jake snapped angrily. Cassandra blinked. 

“I don’t think it’s a joke!” Ezekiel retorted, slightly put off by that accusation. He could be accused of a lot of things and he wouldn’t be bothered, but that didn’t sit quite right. 

“Then you must really not care about me at all, then.” Jake snapped. Cassandra’s eyes slide to Ezekiel, and even she looked disappointed in him. Of course she would take Jake’s word without any explanation. Why wouldn’t she? Besides, Jake was right to be mad at him. 

“Whatever, i’ve got stuff to do.” Ezekiel huffed, turning and striding across the parking lot.

“Ezekiel, please don’t skip!” Cassandra called. But neither of them came after him. When he looked back a few moments later, they were gone. He left campus in a hurry, and headed towards the park a few blocks away. 

He arrived at said park and leaned against the brick wall of the bathroom. He intended to sell some stolen goods to the teenagers that hung around here instead of going to school. But the first person who crossed his path was _not_ who he was expecting.

He felt himself stiffen slightly, as Tom approached. He was frowning, but his eyes held a certain glint that alerted Ezekiel to danger. Ezekiel kept himself appearing uninterested, and even smiled at Tom as he grew closer.

“What’s up, _Lover Boy?_ ” Ezekiel called, batting his eyelashes. Tom’s face contorted slightly at that, and Ezekiel’s self-satisfied smile widened. Making homophobes uncomfortable was a lovely pass time. 

“Skipping school, dunce?” Tom asked, coming to stand in front of him in an intimidating matter. Even without his little crew, the boy posed a formidable threat. 

Ezekiel tutted his tongue. “Such a pretty face for such an ugly personality.” He said snidely. Tom’s face reddened.

“If you keep hitting on me like some faggot you’re going to get more than you asked for!” He snarled. Ezekiel only reacted by raising his eyebrows.

“Oh yeah, big boy?” He asked, trying not to snicker as he did. Tom’s face got redder as he realized the innuendo behind what he had said. 

“No! I didn’t - you - stop it!” He exclaimed in frustration. It was so priceless Ezekiel couldn’t help but laugh, shaking his head and kicking the dirt.

“You’re too easy, mate. Your parents teach you that bigoted worldview?” Ezekiel asked. Tom’s eyes narrowed.

“Like you’d know anything about having parents.” He spat viciously. That struck the cord. 

“What the fuck do you want, anyways?” Ezekiel demanded, no longer in a joking mood. Tom’s face shifted, and he glanced away. He rocked back on his heels. 

“I heard Stone’s old man beat him up. Is it true?” Tom asked. Ezekiel narrowed his eyes.

“Why do you want to know? Wanna mock orphans and abuse victims simultaneously? Do you have a quota or something?” Ezekiel demanded. Tom screwed up his features again and stuck his hands in his pockets. 

“No! Fuck, jesus, sorry about the parent jab. Calm down. I’m not the devil!” Tom exclaimed.

“That’s debatable.” Ezekiel muttered. “So, what _do_ you want to know for?” He asked.

Tom’s posturing faltered a little, his broad shoulders falling. He glanced away again, shrugging. 

“I was just wondering...if it was because of what I, uh, you know…” His voice wandered away, and it was the first time he didn’t sound like he was either constipated or about to get some when he talked. Ezekiel leaned back against the wall a little bit more.

“That’s exactly why it happened. Good fucking going, asshole.” Ezekiel said, genuine bitterness in his voice. 

“I didn’t know!” Tom snapped defensively. 

“What, that outing someone to the world might not have the best fucking consequences? You wanted to hurt him, that’s why you did it. Beating him up yourself could never have been as effective, so I applaud you. You sure know how to ruin someone’s life, if nothing else.” Ezekiel said scathingly, crossing his arms. Tom glared at him, and then glared down at his shoes. There was a silent moment, and Ezekiel felt awkward. Why was he still just standing there? Was he going to go? Was he going to beat Ezekiel up again? Honestly, Ezekiel would be fine either way. Maybe everyone else would follow the guy’s example and get the picture. 

Just as Ezekiel was pondering starting a fight with the boy, Tom spoke again. 

“So, you’re a thief?” Tom asked. Ezekiel blinked.

“Why, you looking for something you lost?” Ezekiel asked. 

“No, but i’m looking for a drink. You good enough to snag some booze from the store without getting your dumb ass caught?” Tom asked. Ezekiel raised a singular eyebrow this time. 

“It’s nine in the morning. Alcoholism run in the family, then?” He asked.

“Oh, shut the fuck up, you can’t even read.” Tom dismissed. Ezekiel pursed his lips.

“Fair enough.” He considered the idea for a moment. 

“So, you _aren’t_ good enough?” Tom filled in. 

“What? Of course I am! That’s child’s play!” Ezekiel replied. 

“Then prove it. Let’s go, i’ve got a car. Try not to get too much gay on the interior.” Tom said, turning to start walking towards the parking lot. Ezekiel hesitated, before following. 

“That doesn’t even make sense, dickbag!” He called. 

 

Tom’s car was fucking _sweet_. It was a black 2016 Challenger, with red rims. 

“Overcompensating, much?” Ezekiel asked as he slide into the passenger seat. Tom just rolled his eyes, and turned the stereo on blast as he pulled out. 

Tom drove too fast, and his music wasn’t half bad, but the ride was still insanely awkward. The store he wanted Ezekiel to steal from wasn’t far, luckily.

“I’ll stay here. Don’t fuck it up.” Tom said, as Ezekiel got out of the car. 

“What do you want?” Ezekiel asked.

“It doesn’t matter.” Tom replied.

“Alright, then how much do you want?” He asked. Tom frowned.

“How much can you get?” He asked. Ezekiel only laughed and turned away, heading towards the store. 

Only a few minutes later, Ezekiel was sliding back into the car. Tom blinked at him.

“That was fast. Did you chicken out?” He asked. Ezekiel gave him an exasperated look, and pulled off his backpack. He pulled out two fifths of whiskey, and a six pack. He leaned over the console and put them on the floorboard of the back seat, so they weren’t in plain view. Tom’s eyes were wide as saucers.

“What the _fuck_ , bro?” Tom exclaimed, with a half giddy laugh. Ezekiel held up his index finger, to indicate he wasn’t done. Then he pulled two tall cans of some fruity vodka drink out of his sweatshirt pockets, a total of nine airplane bottles of hard liquor out of the inside of his jacket, and a small bottle of rum out of the big stomach pocket of his sweatshirt. 

“What’s that?” Tom asked, pointing to the wide jar of some cosmetic cream Ezekiel had pulled out of his jacket in the process of relieving himself of the airplane bottles. 

“Nothing.” Ezekiel said, shoving it back into his now empty pockets. Tom paid it no mind. He slapped Ezekiel happily on the shoulder, absolutely alight with glee.

“Dude, holy shit! I’m keeping you. This is fucking great.” He exclaimed. Ezekiel frowned awkwardly.

“Uh...thanks?” Was all he could think to say. 

“Shit, I gotta call my guys. We gotta party. You wanna come?” Tom asked. 

“Uh, not today. You can drop me off at school.” Ezekiel told him.

“Seriously? We’ve got language arts next. You really want to go to _that_ with your dyslexic ass?” Tom asked incredulously. Ezekiel glared at him, sticking out his tongue.

“I just got you like, a week’s worth of booze. You could stop making jabs at that.” 

“Fine, i’ll make jabs at your weird gloves.” Tom stated, in a tone of compromise. Ezekiel rolled his eyes. 

“What do you suggest, then, Mr. Peer Pressure?” Ezekiel asked. 

“Why stop here?” Tom asked, a glint in his eyes. “The gas station has booze.” 

“They’re going to notice all the booze I take from each place. And eventually, if I take too much from the same area, especially on the same day, they’ll look at the cameras. They won’t see me taking it - i’m too good for that - but they’ll see me at each store one after another. You gotta space it out, man.” Ezekiel explained. Tom considered his words for a moment.

“How about the liquor store a town over? It won’t take long. And then we’ll come back here, pick up the fam, and party at my guy John’s. His parents are never there, and they don’t care.” Tom said. 

“I’d really rather not party with you lot today.” Ezekiel repeated.

“Then come snag some booze a town over for me and i’ll have you back before school even lets out.” Tom offered. Ezekiel shrugged, leaning back in the seat.

“Let’s go, before Baird combs the area for me.” 

\---------------------

Tom may be a dick, but he kept his word. He had Ezekiel back to the school right as the bell for sixth period rang. 

“Where have you _been_? Eve’s been looking everywhere for you. She has enough to deal with!” Jake hissed, when he slide into the seat next to him. 

“I was busy! I didn’t ask her to look for me. You think I care?” Ezekiel retorted. Cassandra frowned at him, the expression hinted with some form of empathy he really didn’t like.

“You know you do.” She said. 

“Whatever. How are you guys?” He asked, trying to be casual. Jake turned to stare up towards the front of the classroom, pointedly giving Ezekiel more of his unbearable silent treatment. Cassandra gave Ezekiel a shake of her head. Ezekiel huffed, and turned away from them, pulling out his phone instead.

Eve gave Ezekiel a huge lecture and grounded him from his laptop for skipping, and Ezekiel was more dismissive of it than ever. Cassandra came home with them, but it was obvious it was for Jake more than Ezekiel.

The silent treatment carried on, and Cassandra seemed to have joined in. Which was as annoying as it was justified. 

“Okay, seriously, guys,” Ezekiel said, after a while of them all sitting in the living room saying nothing on their phones. “You’re being childish.” 

Jake and Cassandra turned to look at him, and Cassandra grimaced as she watched Jake’s expression shift.

“ _Us?_ ” He demanded. “ _We’re_ the ones who’re being childish? You’re the one snooping through my stuff and eavesdropping and then not apologizing!” Jake snapped, looking back down at his phone with an angry expression. Ezekiel’s guilt finally wore away at him.

“I am sorry.” He confessed, a bit sullenly. Cassandra’s expression softened a bit, but Jake’s didn’t.

“Yeah, right.” Jake muttered. 

“I am!” Ezekiel protested. Jake returned his angry gaze to the boy.

“How are we supposed to trust anything you say?” Jake demanded harshly. Ezekiel opened and closed his mouth, unable to form an answer. He had really dug himself a hole. He looked to Cassandra for help, but she offered none. 

Finally, the only thing he could think to do presented itself. Ezekiel stood up with an angry huff, and stormed out of the room.

He stomped to his room and headed to his closet, kneeling down to dig through his duffelbag. He finally found what he was looking for, and then he hesitated. But he couldn’t stand it anymore.

He returned to the living room with a guarded scowl, and a rather old looking shoebox in his hands. He shoved it towards them, wordlessly. As if it was burning him. 

They stared at him, confused and startled.

“What is this?” Cassandra asked.

“Just take it.” Ezekiel huffed, swallowing past the tightness in his throat. “Open it. An eye for an eye.”

“I’m not sure…” Jake started to say, but Cassandra’s curiosity was already pulling her to pull the box from Ezekiel’s hand and set it on the table. After that, Jake caved, leaning in with her as she opened the box. Ezekiel watched them, feeling frozen. He had half a mind to leave the room instead of facing this, but he had a feeling that would defeat the point. 

Inside the box was a sheer, purple scarf. Cassandra lifted it up, running her hands over it. Underneath it was a stack of polaroid photos, bound in a rubber band, a small pocket bible, a CD in a cracked case, a book of what looked like pressed flowers, and another small leather bound book with little sticky notes sticking out of it. Underneath all of this, filling the bottom of the box, was stacks of weathered, yellow, stained envelopes. 

“What is all of this?” Cassandra asked, reaching to pick up the stack of photos. She carefully took the rubber band off, and inspected the faded images. They were mostly of a woman who looked to be of Korean descent, with long hair that was dyed blonde, covered in tattoos. A few other people appeared in the pictures - most notably, a man with long - no, that was a woman, maybe? A woman with dark skin and elaborate eye makeup, and long blue hair. Much longer than the other girl’s. Various men and woman where in some of the photos, and most of them were taken in what looked like a tropical setting. 

“My mother’s.” Was all Ezekiel could muster as a response. Jake looked up at him in surprise.

On the back of one of the photos was some scrawled writing.

“Angel and Rain, Hawaii, 1989. Summer lovin! xoxoxo.” Cassandra read out loud. Jake leaned to look at the picture, of the two girls sitting on a log, with the blue sky and the long beach rolling out behind them.

“I’m assuming the one with the blonde hair is your mom?” Jake asked. Ezekiel didn’t reply. 

“She’s beautiful. They both are.” Cassandra whispered. She set the photos down, and picked up the bible. She leafed through it - a lot of passages were highlighted. Mostly, Jake noticed, in the Book of Ezekiel. 

“She was religious, in her own special way, Rain used to say.” Ezekiel said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“What’s on the CD?” Jake asked, holding it up.

“Her mix of favorite songs, for road trips.” Ezekiel explained.

“Have you ever listened to it?” Cassandra asked. Ezekiel looked down at his feet, shaking his head. 

Jake and Cassandra looked down at the box, looking through the rest of the photos, the flower pressing book, and the other book - which had a lot of handwritten recipes. Apple soup being on the first page. Both of their hearts twisted as they looked through the box, and it felt like some tremendous sorrowful honor to be allowed to see this. To be allowed this glimpse into a past that they both knew had not ended well.

“You didn’t have to show us this.” Jake said softly. 

“I kinda did.” Ezekiel replied.

“You’ve got her smile.” Cassandra murmured. 

“Jake’s got his mother’s eyes.” Ezekiel replied. Jake swallowed. 

There was a huge, heavy beat of silence. Cassandra tucked everything neatly back in the box, and slipped the lid back on. Ezekiel ran a hand through his hair. Nobody really knew what to say.

“Anyone want dinner?” Jake asked.

“Starving!” Ezekiel exclaimed.

“I could eat.” Cassandra rang at the same time.

\------------------------------  
Jake drove Cassandra home after a dinner of chicken and salad and a movie. They seemed to have forgiven him. 

Their absence and Eve being busy left him with time alone to think. Which was not the best thing. He felt extremely conflicted - not that that was new. He shouldn’t have shown them that. He was supposed to be distancing himself from them, making them mad, making them realize he needed discipline and that he couldn’t be better on his own. 

But he just… disappointment was the one thing he couldn’t stand. He supposed he was a lot weaker-willed than he liked to think. 

He cleaned the kitchen and tidied up the living room, and then gave Stumpy a bath. By the time he was drying the dog off with a towel, Jake pulled back into the driveway. 

“I’ll take a shower, and then i’ll head to bed.” Jake told him, as they passed each other in the hallway. Ezekiel only nodded silently. Jake paused, in the doorway of the bathroom, and turned back.

“That was...really cool. What you did. I’m glad you opened up.” Jake said.

“I didn’t _open up_. I just...evened the field.” Ezekiel protested. Jake smiled, rolling his eyes in a good natured way.

“Whatever you say, Jones.” He sighed, disappearing into the bathroom. Ezekiel watched him go, frowning. He hated when they mocked that. He didn’t say it _that_ often…

He headed into his room and curled up in the window seat, and decided to distract himself from his thoughts with the one fire 451 or whatever book he had been assigned to read ages ago. Despite his hatred of reading, he secretly really wanted to get a handle on this whole dyslexia thing. His counselor at school had gone over all these methods with him, and he had been trying them. Mostly to no avail. And this book was the shortest of all the books he’d been assigned, so…

After what felt like an eternity of agonizing through words that swam around the more he tried to focus, Ezekiel’s frustration burst. He threw the book across the room, crossing his arms and practically pouting out the window. The sun was approaching the horizon in a steady fall, painting the sky orange. 

Without an albeit frustrating distraction, he found his train of thought speeding towards his situation. He thought about the confusing outing with Tom, and how he really, really wasn’t good enough to be friends with Jake and Cassandra. 

This line of thinking drew him to remember one item he’d stolen in particular today. He got up and crossed his room to his coat hanger, rooting in the pockets of his jacket. He had forgotten about the jar he’d snatched. 

He took it and hurried across the hall. He had heard the shower turn off a while ago, but Jake was still in the bathroom, so he was probably brushing his teeth. Ezekiel pulled the door open.

“Hey man, I-” He started to say, but froze once he had fully opened the door. Jake was standing there, in nothing but plaid boxers, twisting around as if trying to see his back in the mirror. For good reason, holy shit. Ezekiel’s eyes widened as they flicked over his friend’s torso. The bruises on his face and arms where _nothing._ Jake was practically a canvas of swollen, horrifically painful looking bruises. Ranging from a deep purple, to a sickly green. 

Jake also seemed frozen, exposed. 

“Uh...sorry. I thought you were like, brushing your teeth.” Ezekiel found himself apologizing, even as he was still staring at the boy’s painful looking abdomen and chest. 

“It’s...okay…” Jake said awkwardly, voice forced. Ezekiel swallowed.  
“Are you, uh, sure you don’t have a broken rib? Or two?” He asked in concern. Jake shook his head.

“No...they had a medic at the police station, when they were taking pictures of it all for, you know, evidence.” Jake explained.

“Well, that’s good, I guess. Still hurts like a bitch, though.” Ezekiel said, knowing all too well himself. “Good thing I stole this, then.” He said, holding up the jar. Jake’s brows furrowed.

“What is it?” He asked.

“Arnica cream. Bruise salve, it makes it hurt less, brings down the inflammation. I had a foster mom who swore by it, used to use it on me all the time. Good stuff.” He explained. “I thought...you might need it. Guess I was right.” He said, and held it out to the other boy. Jake took it, looking over it in pleasant surprise.

“Damn. Thank you.” He said. Ezekiel nodded, and stuck his hands in his pockets. Jake was silent for a moment.

“You know, the worst of the bruising it on my back. But I don't know if I can't reach that…” Jake said, frowning down at the jar as he thought over the problem.

Ezekiel swallowed. “Uh, I could. You know.  
Help you? If you’d like.” He found himself offering. Jake looked up at him.

“Would that be weird?”

“Nah. I mean, it’d be like a back massage. Not like a dick massage.” Ezekiel said. Jake laughed a little. 

“I guess, if, uh, you wouldn't mind…” He replied. Ezekiel nodded.

“We should probably go in the bedroom, sitting in the toilet would be an awkward position in here. In there you can sit on the edge of the bed.” Ezekiel suggested.

Jake grabbed his clothes and did as Ezekiel said. Soon, Jake was sitting on the edge of the bed while Ezekiel stood.

Ezekiel grabbed the jar, and opened it. But then he froze, and stared down at his gloves, realizing he was going to have to take them off. Jake saw this, understanding.

“I've already seen them.” Jake said softly. Ezekiel’s head whipped to look at him. 

“What?” He asked in surprise.

“Your palms. I saw them. In the closet. I've already seen them. It's okay if you don't want to do this, it's fine. But just know that I won't say anything. And you don't have to say anything.” Jake told him. Ezekiel swallowed visibly. Then he turned his head back away, and set the jar down on the bed. He peeled off his gloves, setting them on the bed as well.

Jake knew he probably shouldn't look, but he couldn't help it. The knarly, raise scar tissue glistening like white lines of lightning in the moonlight. Jake couldn't imagine how painful they must have been. The pattern was symmetrical on both hands, which Jake found interesting. 

Ezekiel quickly climbed onto the bed and positioned himself to be kneeling behind the other boy. He scooped up some of the cream, which he frankly enjoyed the smell of. Then scent brought him back to when he used to stand in the bathroom while Maria rubbed it into the bruises John had given him, telling him what a good boy he was for not fighting back.

He warmed up the cream on his hands a bit, and then hesitated, before starting at Jake’s left shoulder, which was bottled with a wide, fainter bruise. Ezekiel recognized the pattern, it was from being thrown back into things. He went as gently as he could, feeling Jake flinch under his hands. He tried to recall the way Maria had been with him - it had always started out hurting, but felt good as she carried on. 

“Tell me if it hurts too much.” Ezekiel said, with the kind of uncharacteristic softness he rarely showed in public. 

“It’s alright.” Jake replied, letting his fall closed as Ezekiel massaged the cream over the hot, inflamed skin. Taking a deep breath, the ache gave way to a cooling feeling. 

Instead of focusing on the ache itself, Jake decided to focus on the feeling of Ezekiel’s hands moving over his skin. That is, the scars on his palms, and how the texture was off putting and hard to ignore. Not bad, but just...very noticeable. But once he grew used to it, his attention moved to the hand themselves, how warm they were. How gentle, and sure in their movements. Which shouldn’t be surprising, he was a thief, after all. Deft hands came with the job. 

Ezekiel gathered more of the cream, and his hands moved further over Jake’s back. The places he had first rubbed the cream into started to tingle, and grew a bit numb. Ezekiel’s hands moved from the middle of his back, to the bottom of his lumber. Then he moved around to his sides, where the bruising was the worst. Ezekiel shifted closer, to rub his hands over the sensitive, tender skin above his hips. Jake bit his lip to hold back any noise. Underneath the pain where sparks of sensitivity, and heat flushed over him. The reality of the situation became painfully evident. Ezekiel was pressed closer to him, he was in nothing but his boxers, Ezekiel’s hands rubbing all over him while they were on his bed, all alone in the dark….Jake felt the heat rise to his cheeks, and move lower to earn the stirrings of an embarrassing reaction. Jake tried to push the arousal away - this wasn’t even sexual! It was just a friend helping a friend out. Besides, just because Ezekiel said he liked boys, didn’t mean he liked Jake the way Jake liked him. He really needed to keep a lid on it. 

“That should be good. You can do the rest yourself. If we do it every night, it should speed up the healing process.” Ezekiel said from behind him, pulling his hands away. Jake swallowed, trying to quell the heat in his face. When he stood up and turned around, he was surprised to find Ezekiel’s face was red as well. Jake picked up the jar of cream, gathering some on his thumb. Then his eyes flicked up to Ezekiel, and before he realized just what he was doing, he reached out and rubbed his thumb gently over the bruised part of Ezekiel’s cheek. Jake had given him that bruise, after all, even if it had been an accident. Ezekiel let him, not moving, and their gazes were locked. In the silence of the room, Jake could hear the hitch of the other boy’s breath. He let his thumb run over his cheek back and forth a few times, far more of a caress than an effective massage. 

Jake pulled away, and there was a moment of silence, as both their hearts pounded. Then Jake cleared his throat.

“Thank. Uh, thank you. For that. And for the cream. Even if it’s stolen.” Jake said, swallowing again. Ezekiel nodded, and climbed off the bed. Jake finished applying the salve on the rest of his bruises while Ezekiel got into bed. Jake noticed this was the first night he had seen Ezekiel not curl up in the window seat first. But he didn’t ask why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually have a playlist of the songs that are on Ezekiel's mother's CD: 
> 
> http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/i-m-just-crazy-bout-you-babe


	24. bad habits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezekiel starts to stick to his convictions. Alternatively : Ezekiel goes off the rails.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! My life kinda imploded! But to make up for it, this chapter is not double length, it's not even triple length!
> 
> ITS QUADRUPLE LENGTH!

“Are you sure?” Eve asked, grimacing at the idea before sipping her coffee . Jake offered her a reassuring smile.

“It’ll be fine! I like school,” Jake said, waving his hand dismissively.

“Okay, but if you need to go home at any time, just tell me,” she said, before craning to look up the stairs.

“Ezekiel, are you ready? We have to drop Stumpy off at dog care before we go!” She called.

“Coming! One minute!” Ezekiel’s voice echoed down. Eve rolled her eyes, and she and Jake sat awkwardly for a moment, rocking back on their heels and sipping their coffee while they waited for the Australian boy to join them.

“So, your aunt. She seems nice. She’s been texting me about real estate in the area. There’s actually a four bedroom a few blocks over, for a good price,” Eve told him.

“There’s good housing in this town,” Jake agreed. There was an awkward beat of silence. Luckily, Ezekiel soon made his way down the stairs, Stumpy hopping along after him. They headed out to the car, got coffee on the way to drop off Stumpy, and made it to school in the nick of time. 

They were a few moments past the bell, so most people were on their way to class, or already there. Jake and Ezekiel hurried down the hall, and Jake turned to look Ezekiel up and down.

“You coming to class today?” He asked. Ezekiel kept his eyes straight ahead, hesitating. He was supposed to be distancing himself, after all…

Before he could answer, they turned the corner, only to come face to face with the worst possible people.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite fags!” Lily said shrilly, eyes narrowing. She put her hands on her hips, and the two girls behind her did the same. The boys behind Tom all narrowed their eyes, but Tom’s gaze fell onto them with something more akin to dread. His eyes widened when he looked Jake up and down, staring very obviously at the bruises on his face, around his neck, and arms...Jake paled slightly, frozen in a semblent mixture of shame and offense.

“I’d bite your tongue if you ever want to see any of your valuables again,” Ezekiel spat back at Lily. She riled up, venom flooding her eyes.

“You fucking _lowlife_ -” she started, when suddenly there was a hand on her shoulder. 

“Jesus, Lily, just let it go!” Tom said, shoving her shoulder slightly, shaking his head and starting to stride past them. Lily stared at him for a moment, but everyone else in the group scrambled to follow Tom, so she cast one more glare at Jake and Ezekiel before she herself gave in. 

As Tom pushed past them, his eyes slide to the side to linger on Ezekiel, and Ezekiel’s head turned to watch him go. Their gazes met, dragging out in a slower moment than normal. And then they were gone.

“That was...weird,” Jake said, starting back down the hallway.

“Yeah,” Ezekiel agreed softly  
, eyes still locked on Tom’s retreating back. Then he shook himself out of it and followed the other boy to health.

There, they earned a glare from Mrs. Larson for their tardiness as they slide into their seats next to Cassandra. Cassandra immediately leaned to talk lowly to Jake as class started, both their faces splitting into smiles. Ezekiel tasted something sour, and swallowed against it. He pretended to be looking on his phone while he eavesdropped on their conversation. It turned out they were planning their first official date as a couple, and had been texting about it. Chinese or Italian? Sunday or Saturday? Ezekiel was going to be sick.

At the same time, he felt a strange relief. They were finally together; they’d gotten over themselves. Now they could be happy, and help each other through hard times. Which they both needed, and deserved. When had he gotten so selfish when it came to _other_ people? 

The rest of the next few periods went the same way. Ezekiel, unable to withstand their giddy honeymoon phase _and_ Mr. McGuire’s blatant hatred of him, he decided he’d skip language arts, and probably the rest of the day after it. As he headed out the access door of the gym, he was bitterly certain the new couple wouldn’t miss him much. 

Why he decided to go this way, he wasn’t sure. He knew most likely what was waiting around the corner, behind the bleachers -

And he was right. 

“Hey, Lover boy,” Ezekiel called, hands in his pockets as he strolled towards Tom and his group. They weren’t smoking weed this time, and looked worse for it. The girl’s narrowed their eyes to burning slits at his approach, and Lily’s hackles visibly rose. The boys grumbled and shuffled, loosening their shoulders like they were about to walk into a boxing ring. Ezekiel half hoped that they would. 

Tom, however, smiled at his approach. It was a tight, nearly sarcastic smile. But it was a smile nonetheless. It took Ezekiel a little off guard.

“Told you not to call me that, Jones,” Tom called back but it lacked venom.

“What’s this fucking asshole doing here?” Lily demanded in a shrill voice, her sentiment mirrored by the expressions of the others.

“I’m here,” Ezekiel said, sauntering up to stand in front of them as he popped all his knuckles at once, “to ask how you liked your booze.” 

 

“That’s right, didn’t he steal all that alcohol Tom brought us?” one of the boys remembered, nudging Lily. She whipped to give the boy a heated glare, and he knew it had been a mistake to touch her whatsoever.

“I sure did, compliments of yours truly. Did you like it?” Ezekiel asked. Everyone started to nod, besides Lily.

“So what, you can jack booze. You’re still a lowlife creep!” Lily snarled, crossing her arms. 

“Hey, Lily, shut up. All you do is shoplift from the mall with Denise. You’re just mad because he’s actually good at it.” Tom said, standing up a little straighter and crossing his own arms. The whole group made an _ooooohhh_ sort of noise, and Ezekiel’s eyes widened.

Lily stared at Tom for a moment, before her eyes returned to look Ezekiel up and down. As if appraising his worth versus the toxicity of his mere presence.

“Can you do it again, then?” one of the girls asked hopefully.

“Sure I can. Not like i’ve got anything better to do.” Ezekiel shrugged. He knew he had to get off campus before Eve or the others decided to come looking for him like they always did, even if Jake and Cassandra were caught up in giving each other heart eyes. 

“Fuck yeah!” came as a chorus from the group, all besides the esteemed head dogs, Tom and Lily. Tom’s smile did widen a little, though. Lily stood up a little straighter, a glint to her cold blue gaze.

“Not so fast! If he’s _really_ that good,” she declared smugly, raising her chin, “he can steal a lot more than some booze.” 

Tension tripled in the air, and Ezekiel straightened his spine as he met her gaze.

“Name it, Ice Queen.” Ezekiel challenged.

\-----------

“Nice of you to join us,” came a bitter tone, as Ezekiel slowly shut the door. The afternoon light was choked off as the door met its frame. Ezekiel turned to find Jake and Cassandra sitting at the bottom of the chairs across the foyer, side by side. He schooled himself into his casual expression, sticking his gloved hands in his pockets as he approached them. His expression remained neutral and disinterested, but inside his pockets, he rubbed his thumb anxiously over the plastic thumb drive on his keychain. 

“What the hell, man?” Jake asked, as they both stood to confront him. “Eve looked for you all day. She has enough to deal with right now, can’t you just calm down for like, a week?” Jake asked. Ezekiel’s mind provided a myriad of responses, but a particularly cruel one stood above the rest. Something that would hurt. Which was what Ezekiel needed to do, show them he wasn’t worth mercy.

“You’re the reason she has so much to deal with it. Not my problem.” Ezekiel huffed. Jake’s eyes widened, and Cassandra blinked in shock he would say something like that. Before they could reply, and before Ezekiel could break and start to apologize, he pushed past them and headed quickly up the stairs. 

But when he reached the top of the stairs, Eve slide into view, arms crossed and eyes blazing.

“ _What_ did you just say?” she demanded. Ezekiel crossed his own arms.

“You heard me, GI Jane. It’s not my problem,” he said, sticking to it. Maybe this would be the push they needed. Ezekiel only hoped Eve didn’t push him down the stairs - he’d been down that road before, broke his ankle. Not fun, being immobilized. 

Eve’s eyes narrowed. “Ezekiel Jones, I don’t know what you think you’re accomplishing, but you better cut it out. You’re groun-”

“Yeah, yeah, grounded from my laptop and my phone, grounded to my room maybe? Grounded from the wifi forever? From Stumpy? From Jake and Cassandra?” Ezekiel asked mockingly. “You really still think that’s going to work? Talk about a dumb blonde,” he sneered, trying his best to emulate the exact sharp edge that Lily was so good at producing. It really seemed to get to people.

Eve’s eyes widened, taken aback. She honestly didn’t know how to process this level of disrespect from her own foster child - she didn’t know how to process any of this! She had gone in blind.

“Ezekiel, what the heck? You take that back!” Cassandra exclaimed, from below him. He paid her no mind. 

“Whatever. Ground me all you want, tell me when dinner’s ready,” he said, as he pushed past a still bewildered Eve to head down the hall. Then he paused, and turned to look back at them.

“Unless you’re grounding me from that,” he said, nearly hopeful. That would be new, that might be a start.

“What? No. I’m not going to starve you, no matter how much of a jerk you’re being. Now go take all of your electronics, and put them on my desk, and then go to your room!” Eve exhaled as she put her hands on her hips. Ezekiel rolled his eyes, exasperated and disappointed. 

“Whatever you say, Baird. You really trust me alone in your office?” he asked skeptically. Eve looked at him sternly.

“Yes. I do. Now go,” she ordered. He blinked, before shaking his head and stomping to do as she said. Once he had disappeared down the hall, her stern demeanor fell, and her shoulders sagged. She spun to look down the stairs at the two other teenagers, and they all shared an air of confusion helplessness. 

Alone in his room, Ezekiel brooded and stewed. He soon grew tired of his own miserable mind, but had nothing left to distract himself. As a last resort, he pulled out that stupid book about a firefighter, and curled up in the window seat to struggle with it. It was even harder than usual, because his mind kept pulling away to imagine what the others were doing downstairs.

\------

Eve let Cassandra and Jake hang out in the living room while she talked more to Jake’s aunt. At the end of their particularly long discussion, she passed the phone to Jake. In order to give them some privacy, Eve left to take Cassandra home. 

The drive was interesting - it had been awhile since Eve and Cassandra had gotten any true alone time with each other.

“So, you and Jake, huh?” Eve asked, to pierce the silence. Cassandra turned to her, giving a slight blush.

“Uh, yeah. I guess,” she replied. Eve nodded at the road ahead of her.

“I’ll be honest, I was worried you two would never get around to it,” she admitted. Cassandra tilted her head, ignoring the smell of pancakes. 

“What do you mean?” she asked. Eve shrugged.

“It just seemed like neither of you were going to make a move,” she replied. Cassandra looked down at her lap.

“Things are...complicated. I didn’t intend on pursuing it, but...Ezekiel changed my mind,” Cassandra murmured. Eve’s interest piqued.

“He did?” she asked. Cassandra nodded.

“Yeah. He...god, he cares so much, Eve,” Cassandra said, shaking her head sadly. Eve clenched her jaw.

“I know.” Eve sighed.

“But then he keeps doing this - I just - what did we do? It doesn’t even make sense, he’s like this one second and so sweet the next, and we can’t seem to tell what sets him off. It’s like a rollercoaster. I wish I could understand him the way he seems to understand me,” Cassandra lamented. 

“It’s an uphill battle. He’s been hurt; I think he’s afraid.” Eve sighed. 

“Of us? We would never hurt him! He must know that!” Cassandra exclaimed morosely. 

“Maybe not. Sometimes, the world hurts someone, especially when they’re young, and that’s all they learn to expect. And it’s hard to figure things out after that, it’s hard. He’s got a good heart, but he’s just all messed up in his head. He needs compassion, but he also needs proper discipline. And I just pray to god I don’t screw it up more. I’m flying with no map here, no plan, I just…” Eve felt her chest tighten, as the light in front of her turned red and she slowed the car down. “I just want to help him.” 

“We know. And he knows, I think, deep down. I’m sure you won’t screw it up. You love him so much. It’ll work out,” Cassandra assured her earnestly. Eve turned momentarily to offer her a sad, appreciative smile.

\------------------------

“ _We already talked to a real estate agent up there, and Jamie’s already got that job offer of his in the bag. We’ve got some people down here thinking about buying the house, so we should be up there with everything worked out next week at the least. Jessie is so excited to see you, and she’s excited to move up North._ ” Laurie’s voice informed him happily. Jake smiled, sadness mixing with warmth.

“I’m glad. I think she’d like the people up here. What does she want to do again?” Jake asked.

“ _Be a vet. Just loves animals to death._ ” Laurie replied.

“I’m sure she’ll be a great one. And, uh, I don’t really know what’s gonna happen to the pipeline business. Dad was uh...already putting it under, with not getting permits, you know. And with this whole investigation, I think they’ll find that out, so…” Jake shrugged, grimacing.

“ _Don’t you worry about that. Jamie says he’ll help your dad’s people work that out, we’ll see if we can salvage it. If not, it’s not your concern,_ ” She told him firmly. He picked at one of the stray fibers on a worn out part of his jeans. 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Everything’ just...hard.” He sighed. 

“ _I know, honey. I’ll try as hard as I can to make it easier. Look, sweetie, i’ll talk to you more in the morning, i’ve got to go pick up Jamie. I love you, don’t you let anyone make you feel like any of this is your fault, alright?_ ” She added firmly, as if able to read his mind. He flushed, caught between exposure and safety. 

“I’ll try. Thank you, Aunt Laurie. Tell Jamie and Jessie I said hi! I’m excited to see them,” he said, trying to sound upbeat. They bade farewell, and the line went dead. Jake stayed on the couch in silence for a good while. He set his phone down on the cushion next to him, swallowing reality like a bitter pill. Eve was gone dropping Cassandra off. 

His gut seemed to jump every time he thought of her. It was almost too good to be true, that they were really together. She was definitely making things a little easier to bear. 

Unlike someone else he could name.

His eyes flicked towards the ceiling, towards the knowledge of another contorted soul, in his room. They were alone in the house, but it felt like miles separated them. That’s how it felt, yes, exactly. Like there was so much _distance_ between Ezekiel and him. Hell, between Ezekiel and all of them.

But sometimes...god, it was the exact opposite. It felt like Ezekiel _saw_ him. In a way that nobody else, not even Cassandra did. Sometimes, they were so close, Jake swore he could hear their hearts sync up. Jake’s mind wandered back, to the closet, to the bruise salve, to the fight with Tom. It seemed like every time Ezekiel took a step forward, he took two back. 

Jake found himself heading up the stairs, and stood frozen in front of Ezekiel’s bedroom door. Just when he changed his mind, and was going to go back down the stairs, a curse word and a loud _thud_ echoed from the other side of the door. Jake blinked, and then turned the handle, stepping into the room looking for the source of his concern.

Ezekiel was curled up in the window seat, and was glaring across from him. Jake looked to find a book spread open on the floor, across the room, as if Ezekiel had thrown it at the wall. Jake returned his gaze to the other boy, who was now looking at him in surprise. Ezekiel quickly reached up and scrubbed at his eyes - had he been _crying?_ you want?” Ezekiel demanded, trying to look haughty. Jake frowned at him.

“Didn’t they give you special colored reading glasses or something?” He asked, not rising to his bait. Ezekiel looked away, crossing his arms.

“I don’t like them. The world looks dumb in green. I look dumb in green,” he muttered. Jake felt a spike of irritation rise above his general discontent.

“God, you’re such a child. Since when do you care about whether you look dumb over necessity? What do you think those gloves look like?” Jake asked. Ezekiel whipped to narrow his eyes at him.

“They’re cool! They’re fashionable _and_ useful. Unlike those glasses. Image is everything. I wouldn’t expect someone like _you_ to understand.” Ezekiel snapped. Jake stood a little straighter.

“Oh, really? Someone like me? What’s that supposed to mean? My entire _life_ is about aesthetics. And I happen to have a very good one myself, thank you very much,” Jake replied, needles stuck in the spine of his pride. Not that he had much to be proud of.

Ezekiel’s eyes glinted, like the keen edge of a knife under a lack of light. “Your entire _life_ ,” he said lowly, with a particular amount of venom in his words as he tucked his gloved hands into his armpits, as if to hide them, “is a fucking _lie._ All you do is lie. At least i’m honest. No wonder everyone keeps leaving you,” he spat. 

Jake’s eyes widened, and he opened and closed his mouth. He raised his hands, curling them into fists, before releasing them back out in a jolt of emotion. His face screwed up and he couldn’t seem to form words for a moment. “You- I -” His jaw pumped, and tension rippled through him, like the twang of a string too tightly strung. He tried to swallow his anger, tried to remember that Ezekiel probably didn’t mean that. _But what if he did? He probably did. He’s right._

“Honest?” Jake asked, voice tight. He then gave half a distraught, hysterical laugh. A laugh that cut itself short. “ _Honest_? Since when is hiding everything about yourself _honest_? And then eavesdropping and snooping in everyone else’s private business?” He erupted. 

“I didn’t _deny_ that I was doing that stuff, did I? That’s honest. I don’t _say_ what I don’t want to say, but I don’t try and pretend either. You’re dad’s not around anymore and we both know he’s not coming back,” Ezekiel spat. Jake felt like an icicle had just been plunged through his heart, followed by an uproar of hot anger. He took a violent step forward, pointing a trembling finger at Ezekiel.

“Shut the fuck up. You don’t know that. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He tried to keep his voice steady. Ezekiel’s eyes followed the tense, violent jerk of his frame, and for a moment he looked...excited?

Then his gaze fell into its harsh venom again, and he swung his legs over the seat, standing up and taking a step towards him. 

“Why? Do you want him to come back? I bet you would have never told anyone, would you? You don’t deserve it, and we both know it, but you still would have let that drunk degenerate use you as a punching bag. Are you that desperate for approval? Or maybe you just like being beat up?” Ezekiel sneered, fully aware of how hypocritical his words were. But still, they might get the job done. As long as he could ignore the part of him screaming to take it all back and beg for forgiveness. 

Heat flashed in Jake’s chest, and it burned behind his eyes. “Well, _excuse me_ for wanting to have parents! We can’t all be like you!” He exclaimed. 

Ezekiel took another step closer, now pressing into Jake’s personal space. 

“Well, you are now! You’re just like me, an orphan. And it’s not as fun as it looks! You really think you can trust that aunt of yours? What if they leave you just like your parents did, huh? Then they’ll stick you in the foster system and toss you around like garbage, and even if you wanted to stop living a lie and go to a fancy college, you’d never get there. You’d just be _nothing_ , and everyone would know it!” Ezekiel practically shouted. 

“Shut up! You don’t even know my aunt!” Jake shouted. “She’s not a prostitute, for one thing! And neither is my mother!” 

Ezekiel’s eyes widened, having not expected that. Jake felt a satisfaction in that, at having finally gotten to him in some way. He pressed further, rage begetting the desire to reciprocate hurt. 

“At least I have a dad, I bet you don’t even know who yours is! For all you know he could be half the guys in Australia!” Jake snarled viciously. Ezekiel seemed to flinch at that.

“Shut up!” He shouted, taking a step to now press right into Jake’s face. Pain coursed through him, regret and insecurity and desperation. _Just do it already._ “At least I - you - you’re pathetic!” he said, his disposition starting to fall apart. 

“

“Shut up! You don’t even know my aunt!” Jake shouted. “She’s not a prostitute, for one thing! And neither is my mother!”

Ezekiel’s eyes widened, having not been expecting that. Jake felt a satisfaction in it, at having finally gotten to him in some way. He pressed further, rage begetting the desire to reciprocate hurt. 

“At least I have a dad, I bet you don’t even know who yours is. For all you know it could be half the guys in Australia!” Jake snarled viciously. Ezekiel seemed to flinch at that.

“Shut up!” He shouted, stepping right into Jake’s face. Pain coursed through him, regret and insecurity and desperation. _Just do it already._ He was so close, to the edge, but he couldn’t bear his own cruelty. “I - you - you’re pathetic!” he stammered, disposition starting to fall apart. 

Jake narrowed his eyes, and reality seemed to snap back into place. He pulled away from Ezekiel, suddenly riddled with confusion and remorse. He shook his head and turned away, slamming the door behind him. Ezekiel was left standing alone, bewildered. All that, and Jake hadn’t even thought about hitting him? 

\-------------------------------------

Jake slept on the couch that night, and when Eve came home and tried to knock on Ezekiel’s door to talk to him, she got nothing.

She didn’t sleep that night, instead laying awake to fret over the chaos she had invited into her life. After fitful tossing and turning, she eventually gave up around 3 AM. Upon coming down to the dimly lit kitchen, she found she was not alone in her predicament.

Ezekiel was standing at the stove, fully dressed in the same outfit he’d been wearing yesterday. He was staring down at the burners, but the pot he’d apparently gotten out was still sitting on the counter above the cupboard. He seemed to be just staring down at the elements, lost in thought.

“Ezekiel?” She asked, flicking on the light. He started, flinching before spinning to face her. He had bags under his eyes. For a moment, he looked unassuming and surprised, his face open and eyes wide. But then something seemed to slide into place, and he fell into a glare. 

“Making breakfast?” Eve asked. “Might help smooth over yesterday.” 

“It’s not my job. Why would I want to smooth anything over?” he said, trying to sound as cold as possible. Eve’s shoulders sagged in exhaustion. 

“Seriously? Did we do something? What is up with you?” she asked. 

 

Ezekiel didn’t answer, striding past her and bumping into her shoulder, knocking her aside as he headed out of the room. Eve let him push past her, resisting her long standing instincts to react to something like that. She thought about calling him back, but decided against it. She listened to him stomp blatantly up the stairs, and put her head in her hand. 

Jake woke up soon, and Eve thanked the heavens _someone_ got some sleep. Jake didn’t look any better for it, though. He looked sullen, and wouldn’t look her in the eye, let alone even acknowledge Ezekiel’s existence. They got in the car, and Eve cranked up the radio to avoid the unbearable tension.They dropped Stumpy off, and Ezekiel said goodbye with all his usual love and affection. At least the dog was spared from his miserable warpath.

“No skipping!” Eve called as firmly as she could, as they two boys walked away from her. Jake looked over his shoulder to exchange a hopeless glance, and Ezekiel made no response. She sighed as she watched Ezekiel split off and head down an opposing hallway, abandoning Jake’s side the minute they entered the school. Jake watched him go, shoulders sagging, before shaking his head and going off to find Cassandra.

Sure enough, first period, Ezekiel’s class roster marked him absent. Eve stared at the screen in her office, feeling disappointed and somewhat...defeated. She had a lot of work to do, and a lot of work she’d been neglecting that she needed to catch up on. She couldn’t ditch everything to go looking for him every day. And Jake and Cassandra really needed to stop missing class to look for him.

She texted them both such, instructing them not to go after him. Jake replied that he wouldn’t if he could. Cassandra replied with a slew of distressed emojis. Eve then texted Ezekiel, telling him that he better meet her in Flynn’s classroom at lunch, or he’d regret it. She sighed, rubbing her temples miserably. 

\--------------------------

Ezekiel did not come to Mr.Carson’s room for lunch, and as such became the main topic of discussion.

“Maybe you should suspend him again?” Flynn suggested.

“The whole point is that he doesn’t want to be in school,” Jake muttered. 

“How about in-school suspension?” Flynn tried to salvage. Eve tilted her head.

“I kinda hate those tiny rooms they put the kids in. They’re hardly bigger than closets. And we all know how much he hates small spaces,” she worried. Flynn frowned at her.

“It’s not like you're locking him in there. Besides, they aren’t that small,” he replied.

“He’s right, maybe that would work. You could keep an eye on him easier if he was in the office,” Cassandra reasoned. Eve looked down at her lunch, punching her thumb absently into the bread of her sandwich.

“No. I still don’t like it,” she decided. 

“You’re way too soft on him. That’s why he thinks he can get away with being like this. He can rot in the detention hall for the rest of the semester, for all I care,” Jake muttered bitterly, sunken low in his chair, glaring out the window. He had yet to touch his lunch. Cassandra glanced at him in concern. He’d been acting like that all day. Eve wondered if something else had happened she didn’t know about.

“He’s just acting out because he’s hurting,” Cassandra tried to say sympathetically. 

“That doesn’t mean he has to make everyone else hurt! Then he’s no better than the people who hurt him in the first place,” Jake exclaimed angrily, clenching his jaw. 

“Hey now, calm down. We don’t have to start fighting over this amongst ourselves,” Eve said, sensing dissension in the ranks.

“I think Jake’s right. Problem kids need to know they can’t act without consequences.” Flynn butted in. Eve whipped to look at him suddenly, something in her hardening.

“He’s not a _problem!_ ” She said sharply, and Flynn’s eyes widened in regret. “He’s _got_ problems. There’s a difference.” 

Tense silence settled over the group for a moment.

“Either way, he doesn’t have to make problems for everyone else.” Jake huffed.

\-----------------

Ezekiel slid into the back seat, laughing as he did, nearly falling into Jordan’s lap. Tom hit the gas before he even managed to get the door closed.

“What’d you get?” Lily demanded, leaning back over the passenger seat. 

“More than I should have. Got a little sloppy, guy almost caught me. You should have seen his face,” Ezekiel huffed, straightened himself up in the seat and winking at the football player in the back with him, who only glared.

Lily rolled her eyes. “I don’t care about that. Show me the stuff.” 

“Alright, alright, patience, Ice Queen. This is an art, you know,” Ezekiel said, in a mockingly wounded tone as he started to pull jewelry out of his pockets. Lily snatched up one of the rings, inspecting the stone.

“Yeah, right, thief. You wouldn’t know art if it bit you in the ass,” she said, settling back in her seat after grabbing for the rest of the jewelry, looking over it with a greedy grin. 

“Hey, that ass just got risked to get you some dumb girly shit, Lily. Back off,” Tom barked from behind the wheel, giving her a glower. She sneered at him. 

“Oh, you’re on the fag’s side now. In my opinion, you spend too much time paying attention to that _ass,_ ” she said, earning a laugh from Jordan. Tom’s face turned red, and he stiffened.

“Shut the fuck up! Nobody asked for your opinion, bitch,” he hissed, pulling too sharply around a corner and almost hitting a curb. It didn’t phase anyone in the car. Ezekiel moved into the middle of the back seat, leaning forward over the console to put himself between them.

“Hey, hey, calm down ladies. There’s enough of me to go around,” he said suavely. Tom seemed to turn even redder, and slapped at him, trying to push him back in the backseat.

“I’m not a _lady_. Cut it out!” he snapped. Ezekiel leaned back in the seat, raising his hands in surrender.

“Alright, calm down, it was just a joke,” he replied, slightly disconcerted.

“Yeah, Tom, don’t get your panties in a twist,” Jordan said from behind him, kicking the back of his seat.

“I hate you guys,” Tom muttered. “Who wants to go to James’ and drink the rest of what we got yesterday?” he asked. Both Lily and Jordan instantly voted yes.

“I guess you can just drop me off, then,” Ezekiel said. Jordan, a bulky football player with permanent helmet hair, looked him up and down.

“C’mon, Jones. You never enjoy the shit you score. What are you trying to get out of it anyway?” he asked. 

Lily turned back to them, narrowing her eyes and looking Ezekiel up and down.

“Jordan’s right. You need to loosen up,” she announced.

“Loosen up? I’ve stolen you whatever you wanted for like, a week,” Ezekiel asked in confusion, getting a strange vibe from the way the girl was looking at him. Suddenly, the usual hateful, icy look she gave him melted. She gave him something akin to puppy dog eyes, and a kind smile.

“You really have. I guess I misjudged you, you’re pretty cool. A lot cooler than those losers you were with. C’mon, _Ezekiel_ , what are you, a pussy? Afraid of that bitch, Baird?” She cooed, raising an eyebrow. Ezekiel glanced down at his phone in his hand, where he had more than a few unread messages from Baird, Jake and Cassandra. 

 

Jake’s dad had been a drunk, so drinking would _really_ piss him off. He was underage, so it would really piss by-the-book lawwoman Baird off. It would probably just disappoint Cassandra. Or maybe she’d take Jake’s perspective. Maybe it would be what he needed to finally push them over the edge.

“A drink wouldn’t hurt, I guess,” he replied.

“You’re damn right about that,” Tom said, suddenly grinning, and pressed harder on the gas.

James was Jordan’s brother’s thirty-year-old drug dealer’s house, who was still living in his teenage years, and pretty much ran a flop house. He was a nice enough guy, he was just a deadbeat, who let a bunch of teenagers use his house like a trashcan. Ezekiel had been in worse places, though. This was a palace compared to some of the places he’d lived in back in Australia. 

Ezekiel didn’t mind alcohol that much, taste and burn-wise. He just had a history of avoiding things that compromised his mental state. Had to stay on his toes, after all.

One drink turned into shots, which turned into half a bottle of rum and more than a little bit of something he couldn’t even remember the name of. His body was warm and tingly, feeling as if he was floating on air. His head felt like it was somehow outside his head, if that made any sense. Laughter and trying to watch some stupid movie blurred past, and soon he found himself in one of the trashed bedrooms, trying to help Tom find something.

“Hey Tom?” Ezekiel asked, feeling a bit more lucid. He sat back on his heels, trying to gather his thoughts. How long had he been here? How much had he drank?

“Yeah?” Tom asked, still frantically pushing through piles of clothes and garbage.

“What are we lookin’ for?” Ezekiel asked. Tom paused, and then he sat back, stumbling over himself and plopping down on his ass.

“I don’t remember,” he stated dumbly, turning to look at Ezekiel. There was a moment of nothingness, and then they both burst out laughing. The kind of laughter that takes over your whole body, and they fell over each other. Every time the laugh seemed to subside, it came back in full force. 

Eventually they regained their breath, and found themselves lying on their backs. Ezekiel grinned dizzily as the world spun above him. 

To his right, Tom propped himself shakily up on his elbow. His hair was mussed up and sticking in all directions, and at one point in time he’d spilled a drink on himself, and reeked of it.

“Yo, Jones. Do you really like guys?” he asked, words slightly slurred. 

“Yeah. Does that really bother you?” Ezekiel echoed, unable to find himself concerned on the matter. Maybe getting beaten up by a bunch of drunk football players for being queer wouldn’t be the worst. 

But Tom didn’t look disgusted or angry. In fact, Ezekiel squinted at him, trying to determine just what that expression meant -

When suddenly, Tom was leaning over him, and pressed their mouths together sloppily. Ezekiel was shocked at first, but his drunk mind quickly categorized the action as _lips, warm, good_. He made a pleased sound, moving to try and return the messy kiss. Tom reached to curl his fingers into Ezekiel’s shirt, licking his way into his mouth. He tasted like cheap tequila, which reminded Ezekiel of their situation, and the fact that _Tom_ was the one kissing him.

Before he could react to that properly, Tom seemed to realize as well, and suddenly was throwing himself away from Ezekiel as if he’d been burned. Ezekiel shot up, blinking at him. Tom’s chest was heaving, and his eyes were wide in uncharacteristic terror and vulnerability. He rapidly started to shake his head, going pale.

“No, no, no, no…” He started to hyperventilate. Ezekiel’s shock at seeing the macho football player so small and weak lasted for a moment longer than if he’d been sober, before he shook himself back into some form of focus.

“Tom?” he asked warily. Tom’s eyes flicked to him, then seemed even more terrified, and then rooted themselves to the ground between them. 

“No, no, no, that’s wrong…” he breathed. Ezekiel frowned, and reached up to rub his eyes. _I’m way too drunk to deal with this,_ he thought to himself, before squinting up at the other boy. 

“It’s not wrong, it’s alright.” Ezekiel tried to say as soothingly as he could muster. 

“No it’s not! It’s unnatural!” Tom shouted, shaking his head harder. Ezekiel cocked his head, unimpressed.

“Bro. It’s 2016. You expect me to buy that?” he asked incredulously. Tom stared at him, and then gulped visibly.

“My parents…” he said, voice choking away. Ezekiel groaned, rolling his head back.

“Ugh. It’s always, like, the parents...why do we even _need_ parents. We should all be raised by machines,” Ezekiel muttered, struggling to roll onto his knees and shuffle closer to Tom, before plopping down in front of him. 

“Shit.” Ezekiel said, squinting at him as he started to blur. He blinked his eyes a few times, and the effect went away. “Right, what was I saying? Parents. Oh yeah. Homophobic parents, repressed sexuality, taking it out on other gay people and shit? Wow, Tom. Way to be a stereotype.” Ezekiel pouted as if disappointed with him. Tom opened and closed his mouth, and no sound came out. Ezekiel rolled his eyes.

“Lemme...guess...never even let yourself think ‘bout it, did ya?” Ezekiel asked. Tom slowly nodded, seeming to be frozen in horror. 

“Did you like kissing me, then?” Ezekiel asked, eyes wandering down to Tom’s lips, a line of spit dribbled down from his lower lip across his chin. Tom was frozen for what seemed like an eternity. Ezekiel started to forget what they were talking about, when Tom finally replied.

“Yes,” Tom admitted, as if it were some horrible secret. Ezekiel grinned.

“It’s not as bad as you think. Besides, it’s not like your parents have to find out,” he said, hoping that would be a comforting fact. Tom blinked, having not realized that. There was a beat of silence, and Ezekiel began to realize he should probably back away. Before he could, however, Tom was moving forward again, grabbing onto his shirt and pulling him into another haphazard kiss. Ezekiel knew, in whatever remnant of his mind that hadn’t been touched by the liquor, that this probably wasn't a good idea. But it was a distant, quiet voice, drowned out for the intoxicating need to just forget everything in something exhilarating. 

Kissing turned into full fledged making out, and Ezekiel ended up in Tom’s lap, trying his best to give that muscular neck a hickey. 

After what seemed like maybe minutes, maybe hours, Tom bucked up into him with a groan, and their equally hard crotches brushed. Tom seemed to want more, moving up again, but logic finally kicked in and Ezekiel found himself pulling back, almost falling over as he slid off of Tom. He blinked in a daze, eyes settling on Ezekiel, and he looked suddenly like a deer caught in headlights.

“Whayd’ I do?” He asked in confusion, words more slurred than ever.

“Nothing. But, uh, we’re drunk. And you’re probably already gonna hate me in the morning just for kissing you,” Ezekiel told him, rubbing the back of his neck and trying to regain his sense. Tom blinked, and then he giggled, shaking his head.

“Nah, I don’t hate anybody...I just act like I do,” he laughed, as if it was funny Ezekiel didn’t already know that. 

“I know the feeling,” Ezekiel agreed. Then his eyes widened. “The morning,” he said in horror.

“What?” Tom asked.

“The morning! Fuck, what time is it?” Ezekiel exclaimed. Tom just blinked, not moving, and Ezekiel scrambled to pull out his phone. Countless missed messages and calls.

_12:34 AM_

“It _is_ the morning,” Ezekiel realized. Tom sat back a little, looking around. 

“Oh, damn, really? Shit. C’mon, i’ll drive you home,” Tom said, trying to stand up, only to drunkenly slide back down the wall. Ezekiel looked at him in devastation.

“I can’t go home this late, not like this. She’ll kill me. And you’re to drunk. I mean, I know that’s what I wanted, but, oh god...I’ve never stayed all night, I drank so much, she’s going to know, oh god…” Ezekiel’s heart started to flutter like the wing of a hummingbird, and he felt dizzy as panic overtook him. Tom frowned over at him.

“What you wanted?” Tom asked in confusion. Ezekiel looked back at him, and froze for a moment, thinking on that fact. Then his panic was overcome by a light bulb shining bright.

“Exactly! That’s right! I gotta get home somehow. This is perfect. She’ll have to hit me now,” Ezekiel exclaimed as if he’d struck gold, and shoved his phone in his pocket, trying to stand himself. 

“Woah, woah, Jones, what?” Tom exclaimed in confusion and alarm, pushing himself to his feet and swaying slightly. Ezekiel gained his height once more, and went to race out of the room, only to slip on plastic bag and fall smack onto his back, cracking his head painfully against the dirty hardwood floors. He cried out, and then groaned, reaching to grab his head.

“Fuck! Are you okay?” Tom exclaimed, falling back to his knees. 

“Ugh, my head...gotta get back to the house…” Ezekiel maintained as he struggled to sit up, wincing. 

“No, man, you’re right, I can’t drive. We should just sleep it off.” Tom said.

“Here?” Ezekiel looked around the garbage filled room, at the bed without any blankets.

“Yeah, James doesn’t care. And nobody will fuck with you if i’m here. C’mon.” Tom got to his feet, swaying before he steadied himself and reaching to pull up his groaning companion. They stumbled to the bed, and Ezekiel pushed some garbage off it as he crawled to collapse on the far side.

They lay side by side for a while, an acceptable amount of space between them, catching their breath. They both didn’t have to do much to ignore the dirty room, focusing on the beckoning siren of sleep.

“Hey, Jones?” Tom said, right before Ezekiel had succumbed to her. He blinked, turning his head to try and focus on the other man.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t tell anybody I give a fuck, okay?” Tom asked. Ezekiel found himself smiling, and nodding.

“Ditto.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to listen to the soundtrack, I mix up the songs a lot.
> 
> Come talk to me at queerseth.tumblr.com, I love people!!


	25. just desserts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezekiel goes too far, and the situation climaxes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I had to re-upload this, something messed up...

The morning came hand in hand with the worst headache Ezekiel had ever had since the last time John had given him a concussion. Groaning, he surveyed his surroundings as the night’s events became apparent. Tom was already up, pulling on his shoes. He looked haggard. A tension was strung between them, like a tightrope. And if Ezekiel was anything, he liked to think himself an emotional acrobat. But that was all surface dreams, he knew deep down he had to be a real person before he could go around being anything else.

“Well, that was...fun.” Ezekiel said, swinging his legs off the dirty bed. 

“It’s five in the morning. Should we go? We could go get breakfast or something.” Tom suggested, voice hoarse. 

“No, I should get home as soon as possible.  
If you wanna drive me. I could walk.” Ezekiel said, standing and patting his pockets to make sure he had everything. Tom glanced at him, with an apprehensive expression.

“No, i’ll drive you. Least I could do for getting you plastered. And, you know. That other stuff.” Tom looked away, obviously still trying to mentally process his own actions. Ezekiel pursed his lips, wondering how that shit storm was going to play out.

They walked out of the house, which they found to be empty. Even James wasn’t there. Tom unlocked his car, and they slid into the front seats, simultaneously groaning. Tom hesitated with the keys near the ignition, glancing over at him.

“Are you...sure you want to go home?” Tom asked awkwardly. Ezekiel frowned at him. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“I mean, last night…” Tom sat back in his seat, instead of turning the car on. “You started talking about getting Baird to hit you. Like, what the hell, bro?” 

Ezekiel felt the shutters draw closed, and he cocked his head. “I was drunk, dude. It’s nothing. Besides, if we’re gonna be throwing around _what the hell_ ’s, we should probably talk a bit more about _last night_. I’ve gotta hand it to you, you’re a damn good kisser, even if you were drunk.” Ezekiel said, deflecting the focus off of his own blunders. 

“You can’t tell anyone!” Tom suddenly shouted, whirling on him with wild eyes and grabbing his wrist. Ezekiel flinched, and ripped his wrist away. 

“I won’t! Jesus, I wouldn’t.” He exclaimed, pressing back a little more into the door, away from Tom. The football player’s gaze slowly lost it’s wild fever. He looked back down at his lap, face scrunching up.

“I don’t know. I guess I...like guys. This sucks.” Tom sighed, shaking his head. Ezekiel cracked a grin.

“Yeah, I guess it _does_ suck. Well said!” He chortled. Tom rolled to give him an unimpressed glare. 

“Shut the fuck up, asshole. It’s not too late to kick your ass.” He snapped, slamming his key into the ignition and revving the engine up. As the car swerved into the street and took off at well over the speed limit, Ezekiel just laughed. 

\-----------

Ezekiel hopped out of the car before Tom had even finished parking. “Thanks, see you later.” He called, walking around the car and stepping up the curb.

“Hey, Jones, hold on a sec!” Tom called from behind him, and Ezekiel turned. Tom looked...pale? And very disgruntled. Ezekiel leaned down to be level with the car window. Tom glanced in the other direction, and then back to him. 

“Give me your phone.” He said.

“Why?” Ezekiel asked suspiciously.

“So I can give you my number. In case you need a getaway driver.” Tom said, glancing up to give him a surprisingly meaningful look. Ezekiel blinked, and did as the other boy asked. Tom hurriedly plugged his number in, and then handed it back to him.

“Text me so I know it’s you and I can save your number. And don’t go texting me anything gay or illegal. My parents watch my phone ever since you assholes got us busted.” Tom told him sternly. Ezekiel laughed, sliding his phone into his back pocket. 

“Yeah, cause that was our fault.”

“Look, Jones-” Tom started to say, when he was interrupted by a voice from the doorway of the house.

“Ezekiel Jones!” Jake’s anger announced, and Ezekiel bit the inside of his lip. 

“You’d better go.” He said to the popular boy, backing away from the car. Tom, nodded, and started the ignition.

“Is that _Tom_ -” Jake started to exclaim, striding down the porch steps and across the lawn towards them. But Tom was already speeding off down the street before he could get halfway there. Ezekiel schooled himself, taking a deep breath, and getting ready to make another go at this. He turned to Jake, grinning.

“So what if it was?” He asked. Jake stared at him, eyebrows nearly clenched together, and then whipped to stare at the corner Tom had just whipped around.

“Why the hell were you with him? Where the fuck have you been? Eve is still out looking for you! Why didn’t you answer our calls?” Jake demanded angrily. Ezekiel shrugged.

“Because I don’t care. I can stay out if I want.” He replied. Jake’s face started to turn red with anger.

“Wha- you - I - what? You - No you can’t!” He sputtered, enraged. Ezekiel rolled his eyes, and pushed past Jake, purposely bumping into him and knocking him aside. Jake whirled on him and grabbed his wrist, causing Ezekiel to freeze and turn to him. But he did not rip his arm away. He didn’t move at all. He stared at Jake, waiting. And Jake stared at him, seeming to be caught in his own surprise. Then he blinked, and let go of Ezekiel. As if he’d been burned.

Ezekiel made no remark, turning back to walk towards the house. He ignored Jake as the other boy started to sputter from behind him.

\--------------

Eve was beyond mad. Anger was one emotion. In regards to Ezekiel, she felt more than she could count.

Over the next few days, despite Eve’s attempts to lecture and discipline him, he only pushed his limits more. She grounded him from everything she could think of, but he didn’t care. She tried to make sure he didn’t leave the house or school, but he only found more ways to slip out around her back. No matter how she yelled at him or even pleaded with him, he only pushed back further. Some of the things he said...she didn’t want to let it get to her, she knew he was just acting out…

Jake was frustrated, Eve was a lot of things, but Cassandra was just distraught. On the fifth day of him not even bothering to show up to school, Jake didn’t even want to bother looking at the other boy. They went on their date, but the mood was dulled by their circumstances. They found themselves discussing Ezekiel the whole time.

“You know,” Jake said bitterly, swirling his pasta around his plate. “Even if we like him, it doesn’t matter. There’s no way he likes either of us, let alone both. So it isn’t even worth being upset about.” 

Cassandra pouted at her salad. “We don’t know that.” 

“Yes, we do. Besides, even if he liked one of us, he’d never like us both. That’s not how things work.” Jake huffed. Cassandra looked at him, leagues of distance between their thoughts on the matter. And yet part of her worried he was right.

“That’s how we both feel. Maybe it’s not as taboo. Maybe it’s not as easy as black and white.” She suggested softly.

Jake stabbed his fork into a piece of chicken. “Maybe.”

\-------------

“I can’t call it in, Flynn.” Eve sighed, sitting in Flynn’s chair while Flynn sat cross legged on the desk. Jake and Cassandra had insisted on using their lunch period to go look for wherever Ezekiel and Tom’s crew had gone.

“Eve, this isn’t just acting out, he hasn’t been home in two days. You can’t keep calling him in sick.” Flynn tried to reason.

“If I report him missing, or truant, Freya will be notified and social services will be on his ass again. And then he’ll be shipped off and locked up.” Eve sighed, shaking her head. 

“You don’t know that!” Flynn protested. Anger sparked in Eve, anger born of fear. She sat up straighter, pushing herself forward.

“Yes, I do! That’s what I stepped in to stop! The last time they caught him, in Denver, they were done playing nice. They were going to press him with hard charges. And not just any correctional facility, Flynn. John and Maria showed up, but they didn’t show up to fight for him. They showed up to demand they send him somewhere that could handle him. They showed up to advocate for him being sent to juvi! They won’t let him have any last warnings, and I can’t do anything. One more strike for Ezekiel and he goes away until he’s eighteen, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I can’t let anyone know he’s skipping out on me, I have to deal with this myself!” She exclaimed, stress causing her voice to warble. Flynn swallowed, and pushed himself off the desk to put a hand on her shoulder.

\----------------------

Eve finally managed to track Ezekiel down that day, and practically dragged him home and grounded him to his room. Cassandra came home with them, and the two lovebirds watched a movie downstairs while Eve worked upstairs. They were also in charge of keeping an eye on the door.

Which proved pointless, as Eve soon entered Ezekiel’s room to discover the window was open. Her heart twisted, and she stared at the curtains fluttering in the evening wind. Stumpy sat on the bed, ears drooping, nuzzling Ezekiel’s pillow and whining sadly, which only served to break Eve’s heart more.

Pulling herself up with resolution, she hurried down the stairs.

“He’s gone again, climbed out the window and down the tree! I...I really thought he wouldn’t stoop that low!” Eve exclaimed, putting her hand to her forehead as the two teenagers jumped to their feet.

“Maybe I should call him?” Cassandra asked.

“You know he won’t answer.” Eve replied. 

“Well why are you just standing there? We have to go get him, we can’t let him keep getting away with this anymore!” Jake exclaimed.

“I’ll go look for him, you two stay here.” Eve said, pulling her jacket off the hook and heading into the foyer.

“But we can help!” Cassandra protested.

“You can help by staying here in case he comes back, and taking care of Stumpy, and yourselves. I can’t on good conscience have you out all night as well.” Eve said sternly, in a tone that meant she was not asking. And then she was gone out the door, and Jake and Cassandra were left alone in misery.

“We haven’t done anything but be good to him. Why is he doing this?” Cassandra nearly whined, wringing her hands together. 

“Maybe we should-” Jake started to say, but was then interrupted by a knock on the door. They looked at each other, and then at the doorway to the foyer. They headed out of the living room and Jake reached to answer the front door, Cassandra close behind him. 

To their shock, they found none other than Tom standing on the porch, looking like he couldn’t decide whether or not to run away. They stared at each other for a minute, Jake in particular absolutely dumbfounded.

“Ezekiel isn’t here right now.” Cassandra broke the ice, both boys turning to look at her as she spoke. Jake felt anger spike. Half the reason he was so monumentally pissed at Ezekiel was because Ezekiel was hanging out with Tom and Lily instead of them, of all people!

“I know.” Tom replied. Then he straightened up, and visibly swallowed. “That’s why i’m here.” 

“Why the hell do you think we want to hear a goddamn word out of your mouth?” Jake demanded, glaring with unchecked hatred. Tom narrowed his eyes, and his own temper seemed to flare. But then, to Jake and Cassandra’s utmost surprise, Tom seemed to take a deep breath and school himself.

“Look, I…” Tom sighed, and he looked down at his feet. There wasn’t any rigidness in his frame, only...remorse? Neither of them had ever the jock look unsure of himself, let alone ashamed. They stared at him, slightly alarmed, waiting for whatever it was he was struggling so much to say.

“I’m sorry.” Tom finally blurted. Jake’s eyes widened. Tom looked up at him, and then at a blinking Cassandra, and then back at his shoes. “For what I did to you.” 

There was a heavy explosion of silence as the two of them processed what was happening.

“Did you just _apologize_?” Cassandra asked incredulously. Tom ran a hand through his hair.

“Yea, alright, i’m sorry. I’m an asshole but I didn’t...I didn’t mean to ruin your life. I just wanted to get back at you. I didn’t know all of this would happen.” Tom huffed.

“That’s not much of an apology.” Jake said, narrowing his eyes. 

“What do you want me to say?” Tom exclaimed indignantly. 

“You’re just apologizing to make yourself feel better! Doesn’t change how homophobic and mean you are!” Cassandra spat, crossing her arms. 

“I’m not - whatever! That’s not what i’m here about!” Tom threw his arms up.

“It’s not?” Jake asked.

“No. I’m here about Ezekiel.” Tom said, shoving his hands in his pockets. 

“What about him? Did something happen?” Cassandra asked, fear entering her tone.

“No, but something’s gonna happen.” Tom replied.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jake demanded. Tom rolled his head and rocked back on his heels.

“Jones is on a bender.” Tom deadpanned. 

“What?” Cassandra furrowed her brow.

“A bender. Hasn’t been sober in days. And tonight there’s a giant kegger. Real exclusive. He stole a shit ton of weed off of some guy in Portland for it, so he’s practically the guest of honor.” Tom said, jerking his thumb over his shoulder.

“ _What_? Alcohol? Pot? We thought he was stealing!” Cassandra practically squeaked. 

“Well, he has. But he’s been stealing booze and weed. James got him into the latter when I wasn’t there.” 

“Like it would have made a difference.” Jake huffed. 

“It would have! He’s being fucking weird, man! Everytime he gets fucked up he starts trying to pick fights and shit.” Tom exclaimed at his defense. 

“Really?” Cassandra reached to take Jake’s hand. 

“Yeah, he’s being weird as hell. He’s going to get himself hurt.” Tom’s voice gained a more serious manner. Jake’s eyes narrowed in suspicous slits.

“Why do you care?” He asked. Tom took a step back.

“What? I don’t! I just don’t want to have to deal with him getting hurt. After you fucks got us all in trouble.” Tom said, but it was obvious to both of them he was covering his ass.

“Where’s this party?” Jake said, stepping past Cassandra to grab his keys off the hook.

“I can show you.” 

 

\---------------------

Tom took them in his car, and drove far too fast for Cassandra. But she said nothing. 

“It’s a few miles out. It’ll be a drive.” Tom told them, pulling around the corner. The ride was silent, and tense. It wasn’t till they passed the city limits that the silence broke.

“So, why were you and Ezekiel hanging out? And what has it got to do with your suddenly turning into a guilty, decent guy?” Jake asked from the passenger seat. Cassandra was sitting in the back, but pressing forward to be nearer the front. 

Tom glanced over at him, then glared ahead at the road. His grip tightened on the steering wheel. 

“Dared Jones to steal some shit. Then we started making a habit of it. Then he started coming to the parties and...going off the rocker.” Tom answered.

“You sure seem to care a lot.” Cassandra pointed out. Tom’s jaw clenched. Jake raised his eyebrows, and felt slightly...threatened? The car was silent again for a while.

“When we were drunk,” Tom started to say, and they both turned back to him. “He started saying stuff. Weird stuff. Freaked me out.” Tom admitted it as if it were some terrible secret. Jake and Cassandra exchanged a look. 

“What kind of weird stuff?” Cassandra asked. 

“Stuff about how he wanted to go home drunk like he was, because it would make Eve mad. And then…” Tom’s voice wandered away, lost miles back down the highway. Farmland, green and lush under the setting sun, rolled by. 

“And then what?” Jake prompted. 

“And then Eve would hit him. That’s what he wanted.” Tom spat out, as if had a bad taste to it. Jake and Cassandra sat back a little bit, taken aback. Tom glowered at the road ahead, as if he’d eaten something sour. 

“I don’t understand…” Cassandra breathed, staring down at her lap. The heavy sentiment was shared by the entire population of the car.

They finally arrived to some out of the way farm, and pulling around the corner, light and music began to filter through the trees. They pulled into a gravel parking lot, full of other cars. Some colored light fixtures were shining on the side of the barn. People were in between cars and on top of them, talking, dancing, and making out. Kegs were scattered this way and that, and music hit Cassandra like a punch to her senses when she got out of the car. Along with the strong, unmistakable scent of marijuana.

“They know it’s not legal in Oregon, right? Just Washington.” Cassandra whispered in an aside to Jake, as they followed Tom, weaving through the crowd of party-goers. They pushed past drunk jocks, girls in crop tops falling over each other, weirder older guys with long hair leering at the high girls. Cassandra grimaced every time the lights flashed or someone so much as laughed, flinching from the stimuli assaulting her in every direction. Jake reached to grab her hand, squeezing it. She moved closer to him, grounding herself to his warm, calloused hand. Like a beacon in a raging sea.

“Hey, you seen Jones?” Tom yelled over the music to some guy holding up the top part of a beer bong, while some poor sap drowned himself chugging the other end. 

“Last I saw he was in the barn with Danny.” The guy called, before returning his attention to cheer on his friend. 

“Who the hell is Danny?” Jake asked, but got no response. They pressed on, pushing through the mob to get to the door of the barn. 

The inside of the barn was dimly lit, and was less rambunctious. People were sitting, in groups, in the hay or on the floor. Smoke wafted through the air, disrupting the light. The sound of lighters and laughter echoed through the space.

They found Ezekiel far in the back, sitting in a circle of unfamiliar people, a joint in every single person’s hand. As they approached, none of them seemed to notice. Cassandra let go of Jake’s hand, rising up, and strode forward to pluck the joint out of Ezekiel’s hand. She dropped it on the floor and stomped on it, and the whole group of people jumped, scrambling away from the newcomers. Ezekiel blinked up at them, shocked.

“You brought them? Are we going to the ocean?” Ezekiel asked, narrowing his eyes at Tom. Tom furrowed his brow, but didn’t dignify a response.

“Get up. We’re taking you home.” Jake announced sternly, glaring down at the intoxicated boy. The group of people watching made _oooo_ noises and giggled. 

“Gotta ‘ave a home to go there. I’m a turtle, Jake.” Ezekiel said, putting his hands on his hips as if this was irrefutable fact. 

“What?” Jake asked, bewildered. 

“I’m a fucking turtle! And i’m going to the ocean, not with you. I’m a sea turtle.” Ezekiel exclaimed, louder. 

“I think it means he’s his own home?” Cassandra suggested. Ezekiel pointed a finger at her.

“We should go on a gameshow together, brain grape!” He exclaimed. Cassandra blinked, and then narrowed his eyes.

“Don’t call me that!” She snapped. 

“If you call her that one more time, i’ll slap it out of your mouth. I heard about what you said to her the other day. You need to fucking reel whatever this is in, right now.” Jake said, stepping towards Ezekiel, reaching to grab his arm and pull him to his feet. Ezekiel stumbled to stand, giggling as he did. He doubled over laughing, at what, they did not know. 

“Cut it out!” Jake exclaimed. 

“You’ll really hit me if I say it?” Ezekiel asked, straightening out a little, cocking his head. Jake realized he’d made a mistake.

“Ezekiel, don’t -” He started to say, but it was too late. 

“Brain grape, brain grape, brain grape…” Ezekiel started to say, in a sing song voice. He laughed at Cassandra’s face, as it twisted up, trying to resist tears. “Oh come on, brain grape, just cause it’s gonna pop-” He started to sing, when a hand across his face knocked the words out of the air. The loud sound of skin against skin rang out, forcing a heavy, ringing silence.

It was not Jake’s hand. It was not even Cassandra’s. It was Tom’s. Jake and Cassandra stared at the other boy in shock, as Ezekiel reeled, reaching up to rub his face. 

“You shouldn’t have done that!” Cassandra hissed, tears leaking out of her eyes, which she furiously reached to scrub away. Tom shrugged.

“He asked for it. Besides, every word he said he’s just gonna hate himself more for. I did him a favor.” Tom said, glaring at Ezekiel. Ezekiel finally seemed to regain some semblance of awareness, turning back to them. He looked doubly dazed.

“So _that’s_ the money shot.” He said, mostly to himself, in some sense of realization. It was deeply disturbing.

“Shut up, and get in the car.” Jake growled, grabbing Ezekiel’s arm and pulling him towards the barn doors. Ezekiel resisted, ripping away and stumbling back. The others had long since flooded out of the barn, and as one last person dipped out, it was just them.

“No! You don’t get to drag me around!” Ezekiel exclaimed angrily. 

“We’re trying to help you!” Cassandra begged, trying a more sincere approach. Ezekiel’s face twisted up in anger and resentment. He seemed to argue with himself for a moment.

“Well, you’re not doing it right!” He shouted.

“What? Yes, we are.” Jake threw his hands in the air. Ezekiel seemed frozen for a moment, and they stared back at each other. Then, like a frantic animal, Ezekiel whipped around and made a break for it. But he didn’t make the logical route for the door. No, instead he tried to go up the wall, attempting to climb his way up the piles of hay towards the window. It was frankly ridiculous looking, and a little pathetic. Cassandra and Tom exchanged a confused look, but Jake just sighed before striding forward. He reached up, and wrapped his arms around Ezekiel’s waist. He pulled him away from the slope of the hay, and they flailed for a moment. But then Jake managed to flip Ezekiel over his shoulder, and turned to start carrying him away, firefighter style. All the fight left Ezekiel, as if he’d forgotten what he was trying to do. He was too busy giggling at the feeling of blood rushing to his head.

Cassandra and Tom awkwardly followed after Jake. Everyone in the party parted to make a pathway for them, staring in confusion and alarm as Jake carried a limp, giggling mess over his shoulder towards the car.

“You’re really strong…like a skyscraper…” Ezekiel informed Jake, words bouncing with his steps. As Tom’s car came into view, Ezekiel’s keychain fell out of his pocket. He watched it fall onto the ground with wide eyes, and it was only then he started to panic and struggle. He only calmed down when Cassandra stooped to pick it up and press it back into his swinging hands.

They arrived at the car and Jake dropped Ezekiel back onto his feet, only to push him into the back of the car before he’d even regained balance. He landed in the back of Tom’s car with a hoof, and started to laugh, wiggling over to make room for Cassandra. It seemed he’d forgotten his reasons for not wanting in the car. 

They all got in, and it was only once they were a few miles down the road that Ezekiel started to remember. His face screwed up in anger, and he kicked the back of Tom’s seat.

“Hey, dickwad, this is Italian leather!” Tom shot back angrily. 

“What the fuck, man? Why’d you bring them?” Ezekiel exclaimed at Tom, kicking the seat again.

“Because I was worried about you, you fucking piece of shit, so cut it out!” Tom replied. Silence fell over the car again, as Ezekiel blatantly turned away from all of them to glare outside the window.

The tension back to Eve’s place was unbearable. Cassandra had texted the distraught foster mother when they’d started to leave the party, so she was waiting in the front yard when they pulled up. 

Tom got out, and opened up Ezekiel’s door for him, trying to help him to his feet. As Eve rapidly approached the teenagers, Ezekiel stumbled over Tom and had to catch himself. He teetered back upright, giggling like an idiot. Tom nervously glanced at the woman rounding on him, hoping that she wouldn’t actually hit Ezekiel. He didn’t know the officer well. Maybe he should stick around, as much as he just wanted to get back into his car and peel away.

“Is he _drunk_?” Eve exclaimed, stopping to stare Ezekiel up and down in utter disbelief.

“And high!” Ezekiel added gleefully. Eve’s eyes filled with anger.

“High? On _what_?” Eve demanded. 

“Just weed, don’t worry.” Tom told her.

“Don’t _worry_?” Eve demanded. “That’s still very illegal here, you know! If Freya or Maria found out about this, they’d have him in juvie before I could blink! And there’s nothing i’d be able to do about it! Do you understand that? Do you know what’s at stake here?” Eve asked, directed towards both of them, with the latter bit more towards Tom.

“Hey, don’t blame me for your fucked up kid!” Tom shouted back, glaring at her. “I didn’t hand him the damn emotional issues or the damn joint. Back off, lady.” 

“Yeah, Baird, back off.” Ezekiel said, wrapping an arm around Tom’s shoulders. Tom shoved him off, and wiped off his jacket. Eve rounded on Ezekiel, and her face grew darker. 

“All of you! In the house! _Now!_ ” Eve practically shouted, grabbing Ezekiel’s shoulder and marching him up to the door. The others followed, including Tom, who was still rather unsure what the best course of action here would be.

Eve marched them all into the living room, and she slammed the front door so hard behind her the house practically shook. It made _everyone_ flinch, even Ezekiel.

“All of you, take a seat. We’re going to have a little talk.” Eve commanded, ushering them all into the living room. Jake and Cassandra sat on the couch. Tom sat in the lazy boy chair. Ezekiel stayed standing.

“Ezekiel, I said to take a seat.” Eve said sternly, pointing to the other end of the couch. He defiantly raised his head, and cross his arms.

“No.” 

“That wasn’t a request!” Eve exclaimed, throwing her hands up. 

“And that wasn’t an answer!” Ezekiel shouted back. Then he frowned. “Wait, maybe it was? I don’t know.” 

Eve stared at him in bewilderment, before shaking her head and looking to the other teenagers in the room. They were all sitting on the edges of their seats, with straight backs, as if worried they too were in trouble. 

“How long has he been drinking and smoking?” She demanded. Jake and Cassandra glanced at each other, and looked to Tom. Tom said nothing. Eve took a step towards the rich boy.

“How. Long.” She said lowly, fixing him with a gaze that said loud and clear this was also not a request. 

“About a week.” Tom reluctantly answered. 

“Same time he started hanging out with you.” Eve said, narrowing her eyes.

“Hey, don’t blame him!” Ezekiel spoke up, stepping to stand between Tom and his angry foster mother. “It was my choice! You’re supposed to be blaming me.” 

“Okay, fine.” Eve agreed, drawing herself up a little bit. She put her hands on her hips.

“What makes you think,” she started to demand, “you can do drugs and stay out all night doing God knows what?” 

“Because I want to. Trick question!” Ezekiel said, snapping his fingers in a Z formation as if he’d said something witty in the 90’s. He swayed slightly as he did, trying not to fall over. Eve’s jaw dropped at how intoxicated he must be. Jake put his face in his hands, Cassandra grimaced, and Tom tried not to laugh.

Eve rubbed her face, shaking her head. “Oh my god. I can’t believe this is happening.” 

Ezekiel rolled his neck, and put his own hands on his hips to mimic her. “Well, believe it! I told you so!” He proclaimed.

“Told me _what_?” Eve asked. 

“That I wouldn’t be sticking around!” Ezekiel gesticulated wildly, as if frustrated with a simple concept none of them were grasping. 

“Ezekiel, this is ridiculous. You have to stop acting out like this. I don’t know what you’re trying to accomplish, but it’s pointless. You were doing so well! I know school is hard but -” Eve tried to use a more compassionate tone. 

“I don’t care about school!” Ezekiel cut her off. 

“Yes, you do! I know you do!” Eve spat back. 

“No, I don’t! You don’t know what I think about knowing things!” Ezekiel denied. Eves eyebrows pinched.

“Maria told me how hard you used to work in school. You used to stay up all night studying, every night. John had to threaten to ground you to get you to go to sleep.” Eve informed them all. Ezekiel’s face fell from it’s confidence, into a darkness. As sure as the night. 

“Shut the fuck up.” He said lowly, and surprisingly sober. The atmosphere of the room shifted. 

“Excuse me?” Eve’s hands dropped off of her hips in shock. Everyone whipped to look at Ezekiel. His heated gaze did not fall from Eve.

“Shut the fuck _up_. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You never know what you’re talking about!” Ezekiel snarled. Eve’s eyes widened in shock at his venom. He took her shock as a chance to move even further. “You have no idea how to do this! You’re in over your head and you know it!” He growled.

“Ezekiel, cut it out!” Jake said, standing up. Ezekiel rounded on him, catching the scent of blood. 

“You cut it out! You’re such a fraud!” Ezekiel balled his hands into fists. 

“Me? What did I do? We’re trying to help you! You’re the one making things harder on me when I really needed my _friends_.” Jake spat with a river of hurt running in his words. Ezekiel’s heart twisted, but instead he let his face fall into a more vengeful shape. 

“You wouldn’t have needed your friends to save you in the first place if you weren’t such a coward!” Ezekiel retorted. This slashed through the righteous anger Jake had withheld, leaving behind only a hollowed out, hurt expression. Cassandra stepped into his place.

“Ezekiel, stop! We’re not the ones trying to hurt you.” She begged. Before he could summon a reply that was designed to hopefully anger her, Tom joined them all standing.

“That’s not going to help, that’s what he wants!” Tom exclaimed. Eve’s eyebrows raised, and Ezekiel whirled on the boy in the letterman jacket. 

“You shouldn’t even be here! You don’t really care about me! You just want someone you can use who’ll stay quiet.” Ezekiel accused. 

“What?” Eve asked weakly, all this information flying around her head.

“Hey, Tom’s the one who came clean. You’re being a bigger douchebag than Tom, what does that say about you?” Jake called. 

“Can we please stop yelling? We should all calm down…” Cassandra suggested, in as soothing a tone she could muster.

“What, is it too loud for you, brain grape?” Ezekiel demanded viciously. 

“Ezekiel!” Baird yelped. Ezekiel paid no mind to her, he had his head turned aside to Cassandra. He opened his mouth again, expression twisted in hate. But tears were pricking at his eyes, and Eve glanced down to see his hands were shaking. She tried to pull herself back into logic.

“Ezekiel!” She said again, this time desperate. Pleading. “Please,” She said, and stepped towards him a little. “Just, _please_ , just - stop it. Stop, please, just stop it!” 

This seemed to the height of the tension in the room, the last straw. Ezekiel turned on her, with as raw an expression as she had ever seen on his face. 

“Well, why don’t you just _hit me_ already!” He shouted, as if it was obvious, as if she was being stupid. Or somehow stubborn. As if the room had suddenly become a vacuum, all sound and heat dissipated. Pressure surrounded them on all sides, like the weight of the ocean pressing in. A silence followed, for one whole, achingly long heartbeat. A silence with so much ringing weight to it that it made one dizzy. 

Then the heartbeat again, and white noise followed. Pain, and a swarm of puzzle pieces flying together.

“What?” Eve breathed quietly, face full of heartbreak. They all watched, holding their breath, as Ezekiel realized what he’d said. And then, he recovered quickly, shifting into a stubborn stance on the matter.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that! Stop pretending you don’t know!” He huffed, as if they were all withholding their real feelings from him.

“Ezekiel…” Cassandra started to say, saturated with concern.

“No! Stop being so Hallmark! I’m not good and you know it!” Ezekiel crossed his arms again. “I don’t know how much I have to do to get you people to wake up!”

“That’s why you’ve been being like this? You want to make us think we should hit you?” Eve realized, horror dawning on her. 

“No! Not make you think! Make you realize the _truth_!” Ezekiel got more frustrated by the minute. The others just stared at him, transfixed in their agony on his behalf. 

“Ezekiel, that’s not the truth. You don’t deserve to be beaten.” Eve said, with steel in her voice.

“You don’t _get it_! That’s the only way I can be good, that’s the way it’s always been, he-” Ezekiel cut himself off, swaying, reaching to run a hand through his hair. He looked daze, trying to focus on the situation through the intoxicated fog. 

“He who?” Eve asked sharply. Ezekiel stomped his foot.

“What’s it going to take to make you realize!” He demanded. 

“Ezekiel, we’re not going to-” Jake started to say, but was cut off.

“But you _should_!” Ezekiel grieved. 

“Ezekiel, no-” Cassandra piped up, but it was just as fruitless.

“None of your understand-” Ezekiel started to exclaim. Now it was his turn to get cut off.

 

“No, Ezekiel, _you_ don’t understand.” Eve said intensely, silencing him. “We are never going to hurt you. It doesn’t matter what you do, or what you say.” 

Ezekiel stared at her for a very long moment. Then his eyes dragged to Jake and Cassandra, and the found the same truth there. Then he returned to state at Eve, blown away. He had a look on his face, as if he was falling off the face of the earth. It was a long while till he spoke.

“You really won’t.” He said, as if it was just starting to dawn on him. It seemed to be earth-shattering.

“Yeah, we really won’t.” Jake agreed with gravity. 

Ezekiel stared at them all, dumbfounded. Then his face started to screw up, and he backed up, bumping into the wall. He put his hand over his mouth. They all watched, concerned, unsure what to do.

“Oh my god.” He breathed. They all glanced at each other.

“Jones-” Tom tried to say.

“I’m such a dick!” Ezekiel exclaimed in turmoil. They all blinked. “I’m an asshole! I can’t believe you’re this good to me, this is ridiculous, do you realize how much of a dick i’ve been being! I’ve had to punch _myself_ a few times, i’m such a raging ass.” Ezekiel exclaimed, near hysteric. 

“Oh yeah. We noticed.” Jake said bluntly, crossing his arms. 

“Ezekiel, we know you don’t mean it. You’re just trying to drive us away. But you don’t have to. We’re never going to hurt you.” Cassandra said sincerely. Tom pursed his lips awkwardly, glancing towards the doorway. 

Ezekiel curled his fingers into his hair, distressed. 

“How can you-” Ezekiel’s throat closed up, and he felt a sudden wave of uncontainable emotion. His face screwed up, and tears pricked his eyes. The fog overtook everything, his mind becoming a scrambled, disjointed mess of emotion. They all watched as the drunk boy slowly slid down the wall, pulling his knees up to his chest.

“You should hurt me, I deserve it, I don’t deserve you, i’m sorry…” He lamented, shaking his head back and forth. Cassandra put her hands over her mouth, and Jake suddenly understood a whole lot of things all at once. 

Eve kneeled besides her foster son, reaching hesitantly to put a hand on his shoulder. 

 

“Ezekiel, it’s alright. We know you didn’t really mean it. “ Eve assured him. “Now come on, you’re faded out of your mind. We should really be having this conversation in the morning, okay? Let’s get you to bed, I promise everything will be fine.” Eve assured him. He nodded weakly, and let her help him to his feet. She steered a shuffling Ezekiel up the stairs, and they all heard the drawn out sound of Ezekiel muttering morbidly and dragging his feet. Finally, the sound of a door clicking rang through the house.

“Well, that’s my cue. Bye.” Tom announced, quickly heading into the foyer. Jake and Cassandra followed him as far as the foyer, waiting at the bottom of the stairs for Eve as they watched him go.

“Hey, Tom!” Jake called, as Tom was halfway through the door. Tom stopped, and turned to look around the door.

“What?” Tom asked, suspicious.

“Thanks. For being sorry. And for helping with Ezekiel.” Jake said, in a tone of begrudging respect. Tom shrugged.

“He’s a good kid. See ya geeks later.” Tom said off handedly, and then he was gone. 

“Maybe he’s not 100% a dick. Still a douchebag.” Cassandra remarked, causing Jake to laugh. But once the laughs fell away, they were somber. They looked up the stairs, and then back at each other.

“I can’t believe he thinks he deserves to be hurt so badly, he’s willing to try and force us. How awful is that?” She mourned. Jake looked down at his scuffed up work boots.

“The world’s a pretty awful place, Cassandra.”


	26. to be, or not to be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THINGS ARE ACTUALLY HAPPY?
> 
> Warnings for a flashback of extreme child neglect 
> 
> Otherwise this is tooth rotting fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _There was a time when I was alone_
> 
>  
> 
> _Nowhere to go and no place to call home_
> 
>  
> 
> _My only friend was the man in the moon_
> 
>  
> 
> _And even sometimes he would go away, too_
> 
>  
> 
> \- "Lost Boy" by Ruth B

The next morning, Ezekiel woke up with the worst hangover he’d ever had. So bad, in fact, he had no memories of the night before. Or of anything, really. All he could think was _pain throbbing pain_ , and then he dragged himself out of bed and shuffled in his boxers down to the kitchen. He groaned lowly, not too unlike a zombie in his mannerisms as he made his way slowly down the stairs. When he got to the kitchen, he found Eve waiting for him. She was boiling something in a pan, still in her pajamas. Ezekiel stopped in the doorway, wrinkling his nose at the scent assaulting his nostrils.

Eve looked over at him, cracking a slight smile. “Someone’s feeling the price of the party.” She commented.

Ezekiel narrowed his eyes at her. “Party…?” He said, reaching to rub his head thoughtfully. Then his eyes widened, and his hand dropped to his side in shock. It all came rushing back to him.

“Party. Jake. Cassandra. High. Drunk. You! Shit.” He exclaimed, in a rapid succession, putting his hand to his forehead. Eve only smiled, stirring whatever was in the pot. Then she turned the stove off, and lifted up the pan, pouring it into a mug. It was a steaming red and green looking sludge. She set it on the island in front of him.

“Baird family recipe, hangover cure.” She said, waving her hand. Ezekiel gulped as he looked down at the steaming mug.

“I don’t deserve that. The hangover’s the punishment, right?” He muttered, still staring at the mug as his mind replayed the horror of last night’s events. Eve’s face fell, and she sighed heavily. She took a step towards him.

“Ezekiel...it’s not your fault. I know you didn’t mean any of what you did, we all know that. We know what you were trying to do, and why. And we know that’s not your fault.” She said softly. Ezekiel clenched his jaw, shaking his head.

“No, it is, I’ve been so awful. Jake’s going through so much, Cassandra’s fucking dying, you’re either the nicest or the dumbest woman on Earth, and i’ve been being terrible to you!” He exclaimed in remorse and disgust.

“Ezekiel, it’s okay.” Eve said, stepping right in front of him. She reached out and took his gloved hands into hers, causing him to look up into her eyes.

“Ezekiel, listen to me.” She said earnestly. She swallowed. “I know that you’ve been hurt. Abused. We know that you’ve been abused.” Ezekiel’s eyes widened just a little bit. And then he just stared at her for a moment, before he looked away.

“It wasn’t like that. They were helping me. They had to.” He says, quietly, and it sounds like he completely believes it. It tears what’s left of Eve’s heart in pieces. She took one of her hands away, reaching to cup Ezekiel’s face softly. He flinched, just slightly. She pulled her hand away. Then Ezekiel, still not looking at her, reaching his own hand up to cup hers, pressing it to his face. She smiled, and pulled just slightly, coaxing his ashamed gaze to meet hers again. Hers burned, with so much love, and so much sorrow. It was almost too much, like trying to look a the sun.

“They weren’t helping you, they were hurting you. We will never do that to you.” She promised. He stared at her, caught in headlights.

“Why?” He asked, weakly. Her face crumbled just slightly, and she gave his hand a small squeeze.

“Because you don’t deserve it. You don’t, okay?” She tried to convince him. His eyebrows furrowed.

“But I…” He still seemed to be in a state of shock. Her heart clenched, and she couldn’t handle the weight of how much he didn’t love himself. It might be too soon, but she couldn’t bare it any long.

“Ezekiel,’ she began, with a swell of emotions in her voice, “I love you.”

Ezekiel’s jaw practically dropped, and his hand went a bit slack. He just stared at her, before he started to pull away, shaking his head.

“No, you don’t, you can’t, I-” He started to mutter. She caught him, and pulled him back to her a little, causing him to freeze and blink.

“Ezekiel, I love you, okay?” She said, desperately. Then she reached both hands up to cup his face. Her eyes were prickling with tears, and all he could do was stare at her, trying to wrap his mind around what was happening.

“You are so good, you’ve got such a good heart. You care so much about your friends, and Stumpy, and me. You are smart, you just need a little help. You’re funny, and passionate, and you’ve been hurt. And whoever hurt you made you think you deserve that, but they were lying, okay? I love you, and I know you, no matter how hard you try to prevent that. I love you. And you don’t have to say anything back to this, okay? You just need to know that.” She stated firmly. He just stared at her, trying to take it in. Like trying to swallow a tidal wave. Eve took his silence for processing, and turned to pick up the mug.

She pressed it into his hands, and smiled at him. “Take this and drink it, and go rest in your room for a little more. Then we’ll talk more, with Jake and Cassandra, alright?” She said. He nodded mutely, turning and heading out the door.

Ezekiel sat on the window seat of his room, petting Stumpy. He drank Eve’s concoction - which wasn’t half bad - as he stared out the window thinking. Well, this whole debacle had proved one thing for sure. These people...were never going to hurt him. They really weren’t.

He could...really be happy here. If he could make himself better. For them. If he could make himself a real person, someone worthy of them. Then he could really maybe...not run. He knew that Operation : Hawaii was a tiny sliver of a chance. Maybe he should let go of that dream. Let go of his mother. Well, more, let go of the chase. The endless chase. He was always chasing ghosts, nothing but a ghost himself. He was nobody. Nothing.

Maybe...maybe they were right. Well, a little bit. Maybe he didn’t need to be punished, or beaten, or anything. Maybe he could find it in himself. To make himself better. For them. Give up the endless road ahead of him, focus entirely on being better here, and now.

Could he really do it? Give up the run, the endless thrum of his beating heart? Give up the sea, and the sun, and the hope that maybe, just maybe his mother was across the water?

Even if he did, would it really be enough? Could he possibly make himself better? All by himself?

Ezekiel looked down at his near empty mug. Maybe. Just maybe. For them.

But even then, how could he ever make up for all the awful things he’d said to them? He’d hurt them when they needed him most.

Ezekiel sighed, looking down at the dog under his head.

“I really fucked this up, Stumpy.” Ezekiel confided to the dog, who only tilted his head at him curiously.

“Oh, come on. It’s not that bad.” Came a familiar voice. He whipped his head over to find Cassandra leaning against the doorframe. Ezekiel froze in shame. She sighed, and pushed off the wall, coming to stand next to him. He stared up at her, and opened and closed his mouth a few times.

“I’m so sorry.” He finally managed to get out. “I said the worst -”

Cassandra yanked him into a hug, pulling him into her waist. He froze, before slowly wrapping his arms around her.

“You didn’t mean it.” She said surely. “It didn’t hurt that much. I was mostly just scared you were going to get hurt.” She said, before letting him go and stepping back. He rubbed his eyes, giving a little laugh.

“Yeah, I guess I was really out there.” He said dryly.

“Yeah, you’re telling me. C’mon, the others sent me up here to get you. We gotta talk.” Cassandra said, jerking her thumb towards the door. Ezekiel grimaced.

“Shit.” He muttered, swinging his legs off the window bench.

“I know.” She said sincerely. He followed her down the stairs, trying to resist the urge to bail. Emotional confrontation. This wasn't going to be fun.

When they came into the living room, Jake was sitting on the couch and Eve was sitting in the lazy chair. Ezekiel didn't look anyone in the eyes.

“Good morning.” Jake said. Ezekiel took a seat at the other end of the couch, and Cassandra sat between them.

“Morning.” Ezekiel replied. There was a silence.

“Ezekiel, about last night…” Eve started to say.

“I'm really sorry!” Ezekiel cut her off, desperately. They all sat back a little.

“I'm so sorry,” he carried on. “I was being a complete asshole.”

“We know you didn't mean it. We understand.” Cassandra said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Someone hurt you.” Eve said. “And made you think you deserved it. That got in your head, and you got confused. It happens to the best of us.”

Ezekiel nodded, and there was a long pause. Ezekiel stared down at his lap.

“Who was it?” Jake finally asked. Cassandra turned and slapped his lap “What?” He exclaimed. “It's an honest question.

“He shouldn't have to tell us!” Cassandra hissed in concern.

Ezekiel felt partial truth fight for freedom. “Foster parents.” He heard himself whisper. Everyone turned to look at him.

“Which one's?” Eve asked.

“Long time ago. Australia.” Was all Ezekiel could muster. It was a complete lie, and he knew it. Lie's tasted so bitter in his mouth.

It was obvious that that part of the conversation was over.

“The point is, we forgive you. Will you stop this nonsense?” Eve asked. Ezekiel looked up at her, and then around at them. A spark of raw awe was born in his eyes.

“Yeah. Yeah, i’ll stop. I promise. I'll do better. You won't hurt me and I won't hurt you.” He promised, swallowing past a lump of guilt in his throat.

“And that's how it should always be.” Eve said firmly, glancing over at Jake to make a point. Then she looked back at Ezekiel.

“Now. You. Get ready for school. You are not missing another day unless you’re sick.” She decided. Ezekiel rolled his eyes, shaking his head as he looked down at his lap.

“Baird, about that…” He started to say.

“What?” She asked. The other two teenagers were looking back and forth between them as if they were attending a tennis tournament.

“There’s just...no point.” Ezekiel said, shrugging.

“Of course there’s a point!” Cassandra was first to protest. He sighed.

“No. There’s not. Look, I -” Ezekiel sighed once again. “I spent a lot of the time on the street.” He admitted. This surprised them all somewhat, Eve less than the others. But they didn’t try to show it too much.

“ I didn’t go to school as a kid when everyone else did.” He carried on. “I didn’t start school until my first foster home. And then, when I did, I didn’t try, so…” He shrugged. “It’s just too late, you know? There’s no point in trying anymore. It’s a waste of my time.”

They were all quiet for a moment, contemplating the new information. This all felt almost surreal. Ezekiel? Opening up to them? It was hard to even dream about, let alone experience.

“Just because it’s late doesn’t mean you have to give up.” Cassandra suggested. “You just need to take longer learning what you missed. So, you graduate late. Lots of people do. It’s not a big deal.”

Ezekiel blinked at her. “Wait, really? People graduate late?” He asked in surprise. Jake furrowed his brow.

“You didn’t know that?” Jake asked. Ezekiel whirled on him.

“Dude, I just said! I didn’t know people came from monkeys until yesterday!” Ezekiel exclaimed, in disbelief. Jake nodded.

“Ah, right. Well, yeah, people don’t just get kicked out if they don’t graduate on time. Lots of people graduate late.” Jake agreed. Ezekiel blinked. Then he looked back down at the floor.

“I don’t know if I’d be able to, even then. It’s just a waste of time.” He said again. Eve felt something, something just beyond her reach. She had a vague feeling of it, a vague idea. Not quite sensible, just a … sense.

“You,” Eve announced firmly, drawing all their eyes up to her. She locked gazes with Ezekiel. “Are not a waste of time.”

Ezekiel stared up at her, and he looked to have been deeply affected by her words. She knew whatever sense she’d gotten was somewhat right.

“And neither, “ She added. “Is your education.”

Ezekiel stared at her for a little while longer, till he looked back down, with a thoughtful expression. “I’ll...think about it.”

Well, that was progress.

“Now, as for your...behavior over the last few weeks.” Eve said, crossing her arms. Ezekiel cringed a little, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“You’re grounded.” Eve announced. “To your friends. For a month.”

Ezekiel nodded. Grounded wasn’t bad, even if it was from everything for that long, it was way less than he deserved - wait, what? He blinked up at her.

“ _To_ my friends? What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked. Eve looked smug, and smiled to her own satisfaction.

“It means that you don’t leave this house and you don’t leave school without my permission. It means you don’t use any computer, phone, or electronic without my permission. It means the only people you get to see are Jake and Cassandra. You’re going to make up for those mean things you said in a healthy manor, you’re going to study together, you’re going to hang out, and you’re going to like it! And you’re going to take Stumpy on lots of walks.” She said. Cassandra and Jake grinned, glancing at each other in amusement. Ezekiel blanched at her.

“That’s not...that’s not a punishment, really.” He realized, catching on.

“No, it isn’t. I’ve always considered rehabilitation and compassion an under stressed part of discipline. Now, i’m going to make lasagna for dinner tonight, and I expect you all to be there.”

\-----------

Ezekiel was quiet all day. There was still a bit of awkwardness between Jake, Cassandra, and him. He went to class with them, but he didn’t skip, he didn’t pull out his phone. Most of the time, he seemed to try to be paying attention, but more than once Jake and Cassandra caught him lost in thought.

They didn’t say anything. After all, Ezekiel sure had a lot of thinking to do. Which was why they’d also avoided saying anything about their situation in general. He needed some time. He mostly scribbled in his notebook absently, staring at the blue repetitive lines. Jake and Cassandra talked amongst themselves.

Lunch was interesting, to say the least. Flynn eyed them as if they were specimens to be inspected.

“Yeah, lots of people graduate later.” Flynn agreed, as the subject came up. “Based on what i’ve seen for how much you have to learn, you’d be in high school classes for another three years or so. But it doesn’t have to be in an actual school, you can do online classes now.”

Eve smiled, nodded to Ezekiel as she swallowed her bite of apple. “See, there you go. Doesn’t even have to be awkward. You’re good at computer stuff. And you’ll have the house to yourself with Stumpy for a while most of the week, while I work, so you can concentrate.” She said happily, forming a perfect image of how their lives would work. Jake and Cassandra, to the side of Ezekiel, nodded along. Ezekiel stopped eating his pizza mid bite, blinking at Eve. Then he swallowed what he did have.

“Three years?” He asked.

“Yeah. Then we’ll work on college.” Eve said happily. Ezekiel looked down at his food.

“That’s a long time. You sure you want me around that long?” He asked. That changed the easy atmosphere of the room drastically

“Of course we do.” Eve said. Ezekiel drank in that, and went back to silently eating his pizza. Jake and Cassandra glanced at each other.

\-----------

 

The treaty of silence that had lasted the day faded when they got back to the house.

“I’ll make dinner tonight.” Ezekiel said, as Eve unlocked the door. Behind him, Cassandra was holding Stumpy, petting him happily and making little cooing noises. This earned a smile from Jake.

“You don't have to.” Eve said, as they entered the house.

“Yes, I do. I've been a dick. The least I can do is cook.” Ezekiel said.

“Well, if you insist.” Eve agreed.

“You wanna hear about this book I just bought?” Jake asked, as the three teenagers headed up the stairs. Eve watched them go, a smile drifting onto her features.

They hung out in Ezekiel’s room, Jake in the computer chair, Cassandra on the ground with Stumpy, and Ezekiel on his bed. He still wouldn’t look at them, and he was still uncharacteristically quiet. He grabbed his laptop and rapidly started typing almost instantly after he sat down. But he nodded to what Jake was saying, and Jake knew him well enough to know he could listen and do stuff at the same time.

Finally, the two grew curious of what Ezekiel was concentrating so hard on.

“Whatcha doing?” Cassandra said, tilting her head up at him. He glanced over at her, then back at the screen.

“Well, if i’m going to stay here,” Ezekiel started to say. “I’m going to need a job.”

Jake and Cassandra were both surprised. “What?”

“A job. I can’t steal anymore, and if she’s going to keep me around, i’m not going to be a freeloader.” Ezekiel explained. His hands were shaking as he typed.

‘That’s...really responsible. Do you want to stay here?” Jake asked.

Ezekiel opened his mouth, but then closed it again. He shrugged.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Cassandra asked. Ezekiel kept his eyes on his screen.

“It means I had other plans that I have to rethink now.” Ezekiel finally allowed.

“What other plans? To leave? Just for the sake of leaving?” Jake said, and he had something personal under the depths of his words.

“ _Jake!_ ” Cassandra admonished.

Ezekiel finally looked over at Jake. He opened his mouth, his face full of anger. Jake waited for a harsh reply. But then the anger left Ezekiel’s features. He swallowed. He already felt so exposed, like he’d been lain out for them to pick apart. But something about this situation...he wasn't as scared as he would have usually been.

“For your information, I have a destination in mind.” Ezekiel said as evenly as manageable.

“You do?” Cassandra asked, now interested. Ezekiel opened his mouth, then stopped again. If he told them where he was going and why, it would be easier for them to find him when he left. If he left. God, it felt so weird to think if.

So instead, he pointedly ignored her inquiry. He shut his laptop, and set it aside. That could wait. He shrugged, and swallowed past the lump in his throat.

“You guys want me here,” He started. “Which i’ve only had once before. But you guys don’t seem to care what a peice of shit I am, which i’ve not had before. So, it’s just a new concept, you know? I have to think about stuff.” Ezekiel tried to explain.

“That makes sense. I’m sorry you’ve been treated so badly before.” Cassandra said, unable to restrain her empathy. Ezekiel dismissed it, waving his hand.

“I haven’t been treated badly, I just haven't been treated.” He said, as if it were no big deal. It felt like more of a lie than most things he said, which put him off. But he didn’t show it. Besides, everything he did felt like a lie.

 

Jake and Cassandra went home, and Eve gave Stumpy a bath while Ezekiel made an attempt to sort out all of the work he’d missed. Eve walked in on him, holding a damp Stumpy wrapped up in a towel. Ezekiel was cross legged on the floor, surrounded by various stacks of paper. He looked up at her, helplessly, and she gave him a sympathetic smile. Then she took a seat on the floor across from him. Ezekiel looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

“How ya feeling, kid?” She asked, softly. He looked down at the floor, tossing another piece of paper into the pile next to him.

“I really messed this up.” He said, quietly.

“Mmm, more like _you_ are really messed up.” She corrected playfully. He looked up at her, affronted and amused.

“Oh, wow, thanks. I thought you were supposed to be the one who spouts a bunch of positive love yourself mumbo jumbo.” He said dryly.

“Oh, like loving yourself is mumbo jumbo.” She raised her hands and did sarcastic air quotes, paralleling a movement Ezekiel did far too often. Ezekiel’s face cracked into a grin.

“Well, they are both unattainable fantasies.” Ezekiel said, with the smugness of someone who had just dropped a mic. Eve winced dramatically.

“Ooooh, that’s cold, Jones!” She said, and he chuckled at her mannerisms.

“Just spitting truth here, Eve.”

They fell into a warm, soft silence, a lull as they both fell back into a less playful reality.

“Look, Ezekiel.” Eve started, smiling at him sincerely as she rubbed the towel around Stumpy a bit to dry him off. “It’s not that bad. We’ll figure it out, and it’ll all be fine.” She assured him. He didn’t look convinced. His expression grew more troubled at her supportive words.

“Do you...really want me around that long?” He asked again, in a tone somewhat akin to disbelief. Eve’s heart broke, not for the first time today.

“Of course I do.” She said earnestly. “I want you around forever, Ezekiel. Well, not around around forever. Like you can go off to college and have a life but I still want to be in your life. I want to be here for you. That’s all i’ve ever wanted.”

He seemed shaken by her words. “Why did you even fight for me in the first place? You didn’t even know me.”

Eve smiled wider, but it was the kind of smile that felt more like a sob than a laugh.

“I felt like I did. Besides, we’d met before, I knew you.” She said. Ezekiel blinked.

“Wait, we had? What?” He asked in confusion.

“You probably don’t remember me. The Reynolds went to god knows how many events and parties. I was at a couple. I’d seen you before, and shook your hand. Back before you wore those stupid gloves. I’m good at reading people, Ezekiel. Some are easier than others. I knew you weren’t a bad kid. I head about what they were going to do and I just...couldn’t let them.” She explained. His eyes widened as he tried to remember all the events the Reynolds had dragged him too.

“I guess...i’ve never thanked you for that. Thank you. I really wasn’t all that keen on going to juvie.” Ezekiel said.

“You’re welcome. So, I want you around, we’ve established that.” Then Eve looked at him seriously. “But the question is, do you wanna stick around?”

Ezekiel, suddenly feeling like he’d been put under a spotlight, gulped.

“I…” He was frozen, unsure what to say.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to answer that right now.” Eve said. He shut his mouth and gulped again.

 

Before going to bed, Ezekiel headed to the bathroom. After brushing his teeth, he leaned against the sink, staring at himself in the mirror for a while.

“Is this really happening?” He asked his reflection softly, staring at nothing. “Am I really considering _staying_?”

He leaned back, running a hand through his hair as thoughts assaulted him. What did this mean? Could he really pull of making himself better for them? Could he really stop stealing, could he really stop depending on it to make himself feel real? Could he really actually get an education? Do something with his life? Have...friends?

It was a lot to imagine. He’d longed for it, once. Worked so hard for it, only to fail. He’d then sworn himself off to trying to make himself better. But what if he gave it one last shot? Maybe this would work. Maybe these people…

Maybe.

A slight spark of light shone into his mind, from the concept of the future. Through the cloud of confusion, doubt, and questions - a light shone through. An idea began to form, an image. Of him, happy, a real person, doing something important. Something he still liked, even? Surrounded by people. People that were real. People that saw him, knew him, cared about him. People with light behind their eyes, people who talked and answered you when you talked to them. People who were alive, not shells, not empty shadows with nothing inside anymore.

The image was terrifying, because he’d never allowed himself to imagine something so bright. But maybe...just maybe. It was attainable. Something deep down inside of him, it started to ache. A part of him he vaguely remembered, a part of him that had died a long, long time ago.

Hope. Real hope. Not desperation, not winging it because you have nothing else.

\----

_Ezekiel was struggling to pull apart the sticky pages of the papers. The papers that were stacked almost up to the ceiling in the corner of the living room. It had occurred to him a few days ago that maybe underneath all the old newspapers and magazines, there might be stuff about his parents. Or maybe him. Personal stuff. He’d spent three days pulling apart the rather disgusting, towering pile, lump of paper by lump of paper. Some was unreadable, either stained, torn up, or moldy._

_ That being said, it was one of the least disgusting areas of the apartment. The sound of the door unlocking caused the young boy, barely more than a toddler, to whip his head up. Through the front door shuffled a familiar figure, and Ezekiel’s tiny shoulders drooped. His heart fell to the pit of his stomach. He’d been hoping for Rain - he was starving, and neither she nor his father had been around in weeks. He’d run out of things in the trash or the kitchen to eat. Anything that was in the kitchen was either moldy, or unable to be made or comprehended by a child that couldn’t be over six or seven. He wasn't really sure, Rain didn't know his birthday._

_The corpse that was his father shut the door behind him, and made a slow shuffle through the one clear pathway of bare floor that lead through the living room, into a horrendously stinky kitchen. Every time Rain came over, she tried to clean, but it was just too much for anything she did to make much effect. Ezekiel himself had taken a ridiculously long time to understand the concept of personal hygiene, let alone figure out how to clean the dump he’d been born into. He’d once tried to use the vacuum, which he’d seen being used to clean in a commercial, but he’d only ended up setting a large part of the hallway on fire._

_The young boy watched his father’s sunken in skeleton-like body make its way to the kitchen. He got up and followed, watching his father open the fridge. The man stared straight ahead, not even looking at what he was doing. His face was as expressionless as always, those eyes as dead as trees in the snow._

_The man reached into the fridge, and wrapped his hand around the first thing in range. Which was a bag of tomatoes that were very, very rotten. Ezekiel suddenly felt guilty. He’d tried to save the vegetables Rain had gotten him last time, for when his father came home, but he must have put them in the wrong place in the fridge. On TV, people were always talking about how important it was to eat healthy. Ezekiel thought maybe, if his father ate the good things you were supposed to eat to be stronger and smarter, then maybe he’d get better. He’d told this to Rain, when he’d first thought of it, but it had only made her terribly sad for some reason._

_Ezekiel’s father turned away from the fridge - leaving it open - and shuffled to the clearest spot on the grimy counter. Ezekiel reached to shut the fridge for his father, then blanched when the man attempted to pull one of the rotten tomatoes out of the bag. Ezekiel hurried forward and grabbed his arm, stopping it from pulling the food to his mouth._

_”You can’t eat that, it’s bad!” The young boy exclaimed, trying to pull the tomato out of his hand. The food fell apart, moldy rotten sludge breaking apart and falling through the man’s fingers, slapping onto the floor with a gross, wet splat. His father didn’t even look at him, or at the tomato. He didn’t react to the hands on his arm. He just let his arm drop again, and seemed to abandon the idea of food. He numbly moved away from Ezekiel, shuffling back out into the living room._

_Ezekiel looked around the kitchen, distressed. There was nothing for either of them to eat. God, he was so hungry...it made him dizzy, and the sound of his stomach kept him awake at night._

_He wasn’t supposed to go outside, Rain said, because it was dangerous. Where was she? He knew she had her own problems, but she was all he had. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t go out and get food, he was just a kid, and whenever he went out on his own it ended badly._

_He followed his father back into the living room, lit only by the half lit window. The electricity had turned off a few weeks ago, and Rain hadn’t been back to talk to the big mean man who made things work for them._

_Helplessly, the boy’s stomach rumbled as he stared at his father, wishing he’d just do something. Anything. The man was sitting in his chair, a ratted up armchair that had never moved in Ezekiel’s entire life. This was where his father spent most of his time, when he was home. He even slept in it. When he was home, he went through what he needed to do, and any other time he spent sitting in this chair, mute, staring blankly at the wall. He didn’t even pay attention to the TV when Ezekiel turned it on._

_Frustration welled up, not for the first time. The child balled his hands into fists, tears spilling over his cheeks._

_”Dad?” Ezekiel called. No reply. He swallowed, and moved closer to the chair. He nudged his father once. “Dad?” He asked again. No response. His father didn’t even blink at his presence. Just like always. On TV, whenever kid’s went to talk to their dad’s, their father’s would pull them onto his lap and devote all of his attention to them. He would always tell them what to do or do what they needed. Ezekiel didn’t even know what his father’s voice sounded like._

_”Dad! Are you hungry? I’m hungry. Can we go to the store?” Ezekiel attempted, starting to shake his shoulder. Nothing. More hot tears spilled over his cheeks, and his weak arms shook the frail man with more desperation. “Please, I know you’re hungry! Don’t you want food?” Ezekiel tried to appeal to a basic human thing. Everyone got hungry, right? But he got nothing, not even a twitch. Ezekiel didn’t know how many times he had tried this, tried anything. He must spend half his time when his father was home, just trying to get some sign of life._

_Pain turned to anger. “Dad!” Ezekiel said, and slapped the man’s arm. Nothing. Tears blurred the child’s vision, and he weakly punched his knee, pinched his leg, even slapped him in the face. His father reacted to none of it, save just letting his head be pushed to the side, and then staying in that position._

_Ezekiel pulled back, accepting defeat, and sulked off to his bedroom. He hated watching someone else watch nothing at all. Maybe there was something under his bed he’d missed that he could eat._

_\------------_

He looked at himself in the mirror again. If he was going to do this, he needed to commit to it. He’d already screwed these people over enough.

He would stay. He would make himself better for these people.

\-------------

Weeks passed, and Ezekiel tried harder than the others had ever seen him try. He didn’t skip class once, he did his best to pay attention. Eve had held a meeting with Ezekiel and some important school people, and Ezekiel had been prompted to tell a lady the extent of his schooling. They’d worked out a rather long test packet for him, on each subject, so they could know what he did and didn’t know. Anything he didn’t know, he was to leave blank, never guess.

Suffice it to say, he’d left a lot of questions blank.

After that, it was decided that effective immediately after their return from winter break, Ezekiel would go to the classes he was sufficient at in the morning, and after lunch he’d do online classes in Eve’s office. With a tutor coming in every Tuesday and Thursday to help him.

It was rather intimidating, to have an entire system made to accommodate just him, but both Eve and the principle assured him they were easy accommodations. After that, he would be set to go to summer school, and a few extra years in online classes before he could get a diploma.

If you had told Ezekiel Jones a few years ago that one day, he’d be lying awake in bed, daydreaming of having a diploma, he’d have laughed in your face and probably stolen your wallet.

A new level of friendship brought Jake, Cassandra, and Ezekiel together. Now that a few of the walls had been brought down. He was still sort of in love with both of them, but he shoved that pain down and focused on what he had. He laughed easier, and smiled more. In general, his mood swings went down by a longshot. He still grew distraught, working through his lingering confusion. Eve did her best to comfort him whenever he became especially stressed out with school work. It was almost jarring for the others, to watch him go from not caring at all to being committed entirely.

Eve now understood what the Reynolds had been telling her about Ezekiel’s determination, when he’d been with them. When he really decided to do something, he really did try. Thankfully, what he was attempting was finally not something self destructive.

She often found herself wondering what had happened to make Ezekiel go back to a devil may care runaway. And what had happened to make the Reynolds give up on him. The Reynolds never gave up on a kid. They’d once taken a kid off the streets that had killed his own father to save his sister, and they’d taken the sister. Eve had met those kids. They had problems. And last she heard, the older boy was a brain surgeon and the girl was a National Geographic photographer. As was the way with all the children the Reynolds took in, until now.

It must have been something drastic. She wondered if he’d tried to sabotage his relationship with them, as well. Maybe he’d tried to get them to hit him, and of course they hadn’t, and he’d run? Whenever Ezekiel discussed it, he had an air as if he’d been the one at fault. Not that that was a reliable vibe to go on, from someone who seemed to think they were worthless.

Or perhaps the Reynolds had been overworked. They’d given so much of themselves to so many people, maybe they had run out of themselves to give to Ezekiel. Which was awful and unfair. But that’s where Eve came in.

Ezekiel, true to his word, soon found himself a job. After he’d started taking Stumpy down to the dog park, per Lucy’s brother’s advice to socialize him with other dogs, the vast majority of dog owners in the area soon discovered that Ezekiel Jones must be some sort of dog whisperer.

“He never let’s anyone pet his stomach!” One young woman exclaimed in surprise, as he enthusiastically rubbed the belly of her rottweiler boxer mix.

“I guess he likes me. I don’t see you or him a lot, are you new in town?” Ezekiel asked, having learned to make small talk when out on his trips with Stumpy. Who was currently rubbing against the leg of the young woman with the short hair he was talking to.

“No, I’m just a bad dog owner. My wife and I really don’t take him for enough walks, but we both work a lot of hours, and we can’t afford the dog care place downtown.” The woman explained, sighing in disappointment. Ezekiel, ever the entrepreneur, felt a light bulb spark above his skull.

“Well, if you’d like,” Ezekiel suggested, face spreading into a smile. “I could walk him for you. Real cheap. I love this guy, and I don’t have a job.”

The woman’s face lit up. “Really? You would?”

And so began Ezekiel’s quick rise in the ranks of local dog walkers. Considering there were no other dog walkers in town. And people in Oregon where busy, but also loved dogs. It was unexpected, but soon Ezekiel found himself content to be pulled down the street by a trio of excited labradors every day after school, doing the rounds around the area. On Saturdays, he went farther downtown. He made a surprisingly fair amount of money, most of which he saved in his shoebox. Some of which was spent on fast food.  
Some nights, Ezekiel laid awake, pondering his situation. He was afraid to put so much faith in this new idea, but he couldn’t help it.

While he didn’t skip class, Ezekiel did sometimes leave campus with Tom during lunch, to go get something to eat with the other boy. While the others hadn’t invited Tom into their trust circle with open eyes, they did have a somewhat wary respect now. And Tom for them. He kept the popular clique from wreaking too much havoc, but didn't really hang out with them. Except Ezekiel. But when the two of them hung out, it was always alone. Ezekiel never invited Tom over when Jake or Cassandra was there. But Eve began to find Tom coming over when the others weren’t there. She kept an eye on him, but he seemed not to cause much trouble. She didn’t want to be snoopy, and she didn’t get along well with Tom herself, so she made herself scarce whenever the popular boy was around.

Of course, this tactic presented a problem, when she went to the store instead of being around when Tom was over. And when she came home, she was greeted to the rather scarring sight of her foster son in a compromising situation, straddling Tom in his computer chair and receiving a rather loud hickie. She froze, two deli sandwiches from the store stacked in her hand, face turning red. Their faces mimicked hers, as they too froze, staring at her like deers caught in headlights. Then Ezekiel almost fell over himself scrambling to get out of Tom’s lap, and Tom stood up, spine ramrod straight. As if he was in boot camp.

Eve raised an eyebrow. “Uh…”

“You can’t tell anyone!” Tom blurt out desperately, face painted in pale terror. Eve blinked at how intense he was being. “Please, i’m sorry, I’ll do anything, please just don’t-”

“Jesus, Matthews! Calm down, i’m not going to out you. Unlike some people, I would never do something like that to someone.” She said, causing him to turn paler in guilt. Ezekiel’s eyebrows shot up.

“Oh, shit, served! That was a good burn, Baird. That was such a good burn, i’m standing all the way over here, and I got a peripheral burn so bad i’m going to have to go look for the Avatar.” Ezekiel exclaimed, earning an exasperated look from Eve and a glare from Tom.

“Are you two together?” Eve then asked, causing them both to turn even redder and exchange a panicked glance.

“No, it’s not like that-” Tom started.

“We’re just friends -” Ezekiel said at the same time.

“It’s not a big deal -” Tom’s sentence cut in.

“- I’m helping him figure stuff out.” Ezekiel finished.

Eve narrowed her eyes, glancing between them. “Am I going to have to buy condoms?”

“What? No! It’s not like that!” Tom practically squeaked, voice uncharacteristically high.

 “Are you sure?” Eve asked.

“Yes!” They said simultaneously.

“Alright, well...whatever you do, uh, while you’re figuring things out or whatever, make sure you do it safely. A lot of people-” She started to say, clearing her throat.

“Oh my god, Eve, we were just making out! You don’t have to give us the talk.” Ezekiel exclaimed in mortification. Eve tossed the sandwiches for Tom to catch, then raised her palms in surrender.

“Alright, alright, I get the message. I won’t tell anyone. Just remember,” She turned to Tom, and pointed her index finger at him sternly. “If you hurt him, i’ll take a bat to your car, and then to your face. Capiche?” She asked. Tom nodded mutely. Ezekiel put his head in his hands in embarrassment as she retreated back out the door. It took a full twenty minutes for all the color to return to Tom’s cheeks.

Eve later tried to get Ezekiel to discuss his Tom situation more, on one of their rides to school. He once again maintained that whatever they were doing was entirely casual. She had grounds to be worried, though. She didn’t trust Tom as far as she could throw him.

Jake and Cassandra didn’t seem to be aware of the whole making out thing Tom and Ezekiel liked to do, which made watching them interact with Tom doubly interesting. Not that she would ever say anything. It was just amusing to know something others didn’t. Not that she was living vicariously through teenage drama. That would be ridiculous.

“So, Tom’s giving Ezekiel hickies now?” Flynn asked one day, when the kids had left to go to class and it was just them sitting at his desk. She looked up from her salad, blinking.

“How did you - wait, don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.” She changed her mind mid sentence, shaking her head. Flynn pursed his lips, kicking back in his chair.

“Sometimes these observational skills of mine feel like a curse.” He lamented.

“Oh, I can imagine. At least you didn’t have to walk in on them.” Eve said dryly. Flynn shuddered.

“Trust me, I don’t want to know. Besides that, how’s the kid doing?” Flynn asked. Eve immediately brightened up.

“Great! I really think things are coming around for good. I think we really got through to him.” She said, feeling like a great weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOOO! Two triple sized chapters only days apart!


	27. and the award for the worst timing goes to:

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Out of the darkness, and into the light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS FOR THREATS OF SEXUAL VIOLENCE

_Ezekiel walked down the beach, feeling the cool waves wash over his toes. The sand slipped and shifted as he moved, and for some reason, even though his head was facing forward, he was looking behind himself. At the footsteps he was leaving behind, only to be washed away in the water. As if he’d never walked there at all._

_It was nighttime, and the moon seemed too big in the sky, too bright. Like a cold, white sun. He felt a tug in his gut, like something in him was ebbing and flowing with the tide. He could feel the pull of the moon just as easily as he could hear the roar of the waves. The overlapping noise of the ocean brought a sort of silence. A silence suspended in non violent noise._

_Along the curve of the white beach, with palm trees and foliage drooping over the border, stood a woman. She stood up to her knees in the water, staring up at the stars. She wore a long white dress, the bottom part of which spread out in the water around her, seeming to glow in the moonlight. The same moonlight that reflected off the water strangely, casting an aura around her head. He’d say it was a halo, if he didn’t think that sounded dumb._

_After what seemed like a disproportionate time walking towards her, he finally got near enough to wade into the water in her direction. He disturbed the water as he approached, but her dress didn’t move at all. As if his ripples passed right through her. He reached out a hand, to put on her shoulder, not entirely sure why he’d come to talk to her. But as soon as he touched her, white hot pain shot through his hand, and he cried out, ripping away from her and bending over in agony as he gripped his right wrist._

_The woman turned to him, and she had the face of his mother, but without the makeup, or the wrinkles, or the scars. He stared at her, everything else forgotten. She smiled easily at him, as if this wasn’t the first time they were meeting, as if she hadn’t just burned the flesh off his palm._

_”Hey, baby. I’ve missed you.” She said, with the same kind of smile Eve gave him whenever he laughed. He stared at her, and felt tears well up in his eyes. He straightened up a bit, forgetting his hand._

_“...Mom?” He asked, breathlessly. The ocean roared - or was that the blood in his ears? Probably both. “I...don’t understand.” How had he gotten here? Why did she look so young? Why had she burned him?_

_The easy, beautiful light of the moon slowly fell away, as clouds grew over the sky. The water turned dark, and ominous - suddenly unable to know what was around him, Ezekiel found himself looking all around. Even with clouds covering the moon, it shouldn’t be this dark, he couldn’t see a thing...besides his mother. She still glowed, the halo remained, as did the glow underneath the drifting spread of her dress over the water. She turned entirely to him, and he found she was crying. Beautiful, shimmering tears, that couldn’t be human. She gave him a miserable smile, and reached a hand for his face. He felt the heat before she even touched him, but he did not move, he couldn’t. He did scream when she cupped his face, pain exploding out, and felt his knees buckle out from underneath him. He collapsed, splashing into the water. She didn’t take her hand away, instead she brought her other one to the other cheek. Cupping his face in searing hot pain, he stared up at her as tears spilled over his eyes. It hurt so much, he felt dizzy, and the world started to swirl around her halo. All he could do was stare up into her heartbroken eyes._

_”Why don’t you love me?” She asked sadly. He just stared at her, trying not to blackout, increasingly confused. “Why would you abandon me? I’ve been waiting so long to see you! Why would you give up on me?” She begged, distraught. He tried to shake his head, but that only caused more pain. Her face twisted up, and she started to push back. Weakened and on the verge of fainting anyhow, he sunk into the water. They were still in the shallows, so his back hit the sand almost instantly. Just a foot or two of water separated him from the surface._

_Her light was distorted through the rippling water, but her hands pushed down on his throat now, keeping him under the water and squeezing down on his neck. Overkill, much? C’mon, lady, he was already drowning. Did she really need to pull a John?_

_And then, out of the dark edges of his vision, realization came with the burning of his lungs. She was drowning him. Choking him. He was going to drown, to die. He started to struggle, reaching to pull at her hands, but only burned both his palms on her slender wrists. He screamed, but that just let air bubbles escape. He kicked at her legs, but his flailing limbs only seemed to pass right through her. How could that be true, when the solid, unnatural weight of her hands was keeping him pinned to the sand?_

_Just as his world was reduced to darkness and panic, and he started to lose the fight, something changed. The hands stopped burning. They turned cold, like ice, and started to soothe the burns around his neck. The light of the moon suddenly lit up the sea, and he could see that whoever was standing above him did not wear a white dress, and was not bathed in light. The hands holding him down suddenly stopped. Not only did they stop, but they left his neck, and buried themselves in his shirt. With one strong heave, he was being pulled up from the brink of the abyss. With a violent gasp, he rose above the surface, breaking into the air with a panic._

_”Ezekiel?” Eve asked, reaching to run her strangely cold hands over the burns on his face. “Jones? Are you alright?” She was drenched in water, pieces of hair sticking to her face, clothes hanging awkwardly off her. She had wrinkles, and her small touches of eyeliner were running away from their proper place. She was real. Imperfect. Suddenly, the sea stilled. Eerily, the waves stopped pulsing, and the water settled around them. The wind stopped howling, and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. He felt like everything was going to be alright. It was almost too good to be true._

_He reached out for her, to touch her, make sure she was as real as she seemed. But just before he could, everything turned white. A loud unexpected, unfamiliar scream broke through reality, shattering the illusion._

Ezekiel bolted up in bed, hands flying to his neck as he gasped for breath. Sweat dripped down his back, and the room felt strangely muggy. Once he was sure he was awake, that this was real, he threw the covers off and scrambled to pull the window open. He slumped against the wall of the window seat, letting the cold morning air wash over him. He closed his eyes, but white light burned behind him. He remembered the dream almost too vividly. He hated dreams like that. It left him with a deeply unsettled feeling, like bugs crawling under his skin, chewing holes in what he had left of a heart.

Behind him, his alarm clock carried on it’s screaming. He sighed, not wanting to drag himself up to turn it off. Eventually he managed it, hitting it with a heavy hand. Then he yawned into the reprieve, and checked his phone. 6:03 AM. Not bad.

**hit that like button if u up- Ezekiel Sent 6: 03 AM**

After hitting send, he tossed his phone on his comforter, and headed to the closet. He leaned over to pull clothes from his suitcase, but then stood there holding them for a moment. He frowned down at the suitcase, mind moving back to Jake’s comment on it.

After a moment of decision, Ezekiel started to pull his clothes out, and folded them in a half-assed manner, before tossing them on the shelf above the hanger rack. He’d have to invest in some coat hangers. The phone buzzed behind him, and he abandoned half his clothes still unfolded. He could finish that after school. He pulled on the jeans he’d chosen, and then pulled a t shirt on. He only had his t shirts left clean, and he didn’t have time to do laundry. But based on what he’d seen out the window, it’d finally snowed last night. It was probably going to be cold.

His eyes moved to his jacket, tossed on the ground. Which hadn’t been washed in a good while, and smelled like weed. Big time. Then his eyes roamed over to the back of his computer chair, where Cassandra had left her jacket. Well, where Cassandra had left Jake’s jacket, which Cassandra had stolen from the southern boy. It probably wasn’t a big deal, right? He saw just friends sharing clothes at school all the time. Plus, it was a warm looking jacket...and if there was one thing he hated, it was winter, and the cold. Winter break sounded nice, though. Even if it just meant more online classes for him.

He grabbed the jacket and pulled it on, taking a minute to admire how it managed to smell like both Jake’s stupid Axe shit, and Cassandra’s strawberry peach perfume. Then he shook those thoughts out of his head, and grabbed his phone.

**What does that even MEAN - Cowboy Sent 6: 04 AM**

**You know about almost every painter that ever lived in France but you don’t understand memes. I love you. - Cassandra Sent 6:05 AM**

After that followed a rather sappy, honeymoon era couple conversation, which both made Ezekiel smile and want to throw up. As was just the state of his life, lately. He didn’t feel like butting in on their virtual moment, so he just shoved his phone in his bag, and headed downstairs to feed his dog.

\-------------------

Jake’s aunt and cousins finally arrived, having bought a house just a few blocks from the school. Eve and Ezekiel went with Jake to the airport to pick them up, and Jake nervously held up a sign. It’d only been like a week or two, so the largest, deepest bruises on Jake were the only ones left. And they were more than half faded. Still, visible, though.

Jake’s aunt was a smiling woman, heavy around the hips, with dark hair and bright eyes. Her husband was thin and lanky, with a narrow nose, but a warm expression. Their daughter was somewhere in between, with long dark hair, and a flat chest. She ran ahead to embrace Jake, causing Eve to smile.

The adults socialized on the ride back, which was being taken in Jenkin’s car, as it was the only thing with enough seats. It was old, and smelled like books, if that were even really a smell. While Eve, Laurie and Jamie talked, the kids got acquainted. More like Jake made it a point to acquaint Ezekiel and Jessy. Which was nerve wracking, considering all he could think about during this time was how he’d screwed over Jake when the boy’d needed him most.

They spent the rest of the afternoon waiting for the movers, and eating italian take out as they did.

“Once we settle in,” Laurie announced to them as she swallowed a bite of her pasta. “I’m taking you, and Jake’s little girlfriend out to dinner. I’m so grateful for the good friends my boy’s got!” Laurie said earnestly. Everyone smiled. Ezekiel made an attempt to smile, but it felt rather forced. He wasn’t a good friend.

But he would be, someday. If he tried hard enough.

The next day, after school, both Ezekiel and Cassandra headed to Jake’s house to help unpack. Jake’s family was overjoyed to meet Cassandra, and when Laurie heard about the brain tumor, she hugged poor Cassandra straight to her chest and said a prayer right there in the kitchen. Ezekiel grimaced, but Cassandra seemed honored.

It felt weird, to have Jake out of the house. Ezekiel had just gotten used to him being around. But it also felt a lot easier to breathe.

“So,” Flynn said, looking over Ezekiel’s reports from the packets he’d done. “Your worst subject is history, and you’ve got a rather close tie with an overqualified history professor, but you never asked for help?”

Ezekiel swallowed, and Eve cocked her head. “He’s got a point.”

“You know why I didn’t ask for help. I didn’t think it mattered,” Ezekiel admitted. Flynn set the papers down.

“Okay, I get that. Sorry. Well, it does matter, so I’m glad we’re all in agreement on that. I’d love to give you some help,” Flynn said.

“After school?” Ezekiel asked.

“Yeah, sure.” Flynn agreed. “If Eve can stay after, or not, I can just give you a ride home.”

“Why don’t you just come over to Eve’s house?” Ezekiel asked in confusion. Both of the adults glanced at each other, and blushed. Ezekiel furrowed his brow.

“Aren’t you guys friends?” He asked.

“Yeah, of course! Uh, yeah, that’s fine.” Eve said, crossing her arms. Flynn nodded along with her.

“Yeah, sure, sounds easier.” Flynn agreed, tugging at his collar.

\---------------

They went home with Flynn that afternoon. Eve was acting weird the whole time she showed Flynn around the house. They were both acting weird. Stiff, awkward. Like puppets. Ezekiel was genuinely surprised that this was the first time Flynn had been over to Eve’s house.

“Have you ever been to Mr. Carson’s house, Baird?” Ezekiel found himself asking, as Flynn was telling Eve the interesting thing about her house’s architecture. They both turned, and blinked at him.

“Uh...no.” Eve answered, visibly swallowing.

“She wouldn’t want to, it’s a mess.” Flynn dismissed, laughing nervously. Ezekiel raised his eyebrows.

“Oh, I can imagine.”

After Eve was done giving him a tour, Flynn and Ezekiel settled down in the living room. Since Ezekiel barely knew anything about anything besides what he’d experienced in day to day life, Flynn decided to start at the beginning. He explained, in layman’s terms, how the big bang had happened and how the universe was ever expanding. Then he went on to discuss how planets and solar systems formed, and how life then began on Earth, and humans evolved into what they are. He kept that part as short and sweet as possible, not to blow the boy’s mind. Luckily, Ezekiel seemed to grasp the concept, and even knew bits and pieces already. From TV and such. Flynn supposed the media was good for some things like that, even as it was today.

He then went on to explain how civilization formed, skipped along some big points like Mesopotamia, Greece, the Roman Empire, the British Empire, and made a specific point to tell Ezekiel that wars and books have shaped mankind’s path more than anything else. Then he went over some civil wars, showed him on various maps how countries shifted into the countries they where now.

By the time it was time for dinner, Ezekiel felt like he’d been staring into an abyss. His brain was humming with white noise.

“Time for a break, fellas. Anyone for mashed potatoes and pasta salad?” Eve called, poking her head into the living room. Ezekiel almost shot up, going to follow her.

“Yes, please!” He exclaimed, desperate for a reprieve from the flow of information.

It turns out, dinner with two awkward idiots in love who haven’t confessed yet is not much of a reprieve. Especially when he was currently in the same boat, and didn’t need other people’s love problems thrown in his face. Ezekiel had never seen Eve smile like she did at Flynn, or get quite as flustered. It was cute, if he was being honest. Flynn dropped food in his lap four times, he was such a mess around her. Ezekiel decided to keep his eyes on his plate, unable to bear witness to their puppy dog eyes.

“It’s later than I expected. You sure you want to drive all the way to Ray’s?” Eve asked, after glancing at the clock.

“You live with the principal?” Ezekiel asked. Flynn nodded.

“Me and Ray go way back, we’re like brothers. He’s why I came here. I was out in Geneva, working on an exhibit, but my mother got sick, so I came back to the US. After she died, I figured i’d take a bit of a break.” Flynn explained, giving a smile faint with distant, flattened pain. Ezekiel nodded. There was a beat of silence.

“I’m sorry about your mother. Lost mine when I was a teenager. It’s hard,” Eve said, reaching across the table to squeeze Flynn’s hand.

“Where you really that close with her? That you had to take a break from your life?” Ezekiel heard himself asking.

“Ezekiel!” Eve said, signaling that that was an inappropriate question. But Flynn waved his hand.

“Oh it’s fine, he never knew his, so I get the question.” Flynn said quickly, to reassure Eve. But then he winced, realizing what he’d said. Ezekiel sat back in his seat.

“What? How did you know that?” He asked in alarm. Flynn looked extremely regretful. Eve was staring between them both with wide eyes.

“It’s kinda, my, uh, thing. I’m good at picking up things. Observational. Photographic memory. Just a bunch of little things come together to tell stuff about people, you know? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, uh, say that…” Flynn apologized, gesturing towards Ezekiel’s...everything. Ezekiel huffed.

“Okay then, Sherlock Holmes. What else do you know about me?” Ezekiel demanded. Flynn’s eyes widened, and he glanced towards Eve.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. And it’s fine, I can drive to Ray’s, it’s not that dark. Thank you for the meal, I hoped I helped, I’ll see you later!” Flynn said rapidly, getting up, rinsing his plate, and then bolting out of the house. Ezekiel and Eve didn’t even get a chance to stand up.

“Sorry for scaring off your boyfriend,” Ezekiel said, standing and clearing the table. Eve just shook her head as Ezekiel took the dishes to the sink.

“Don’t be, he stepped over a line. He does that a lot, but he doesn’t mean to. Did you at least get some good help?” She asked. “It looked a little overwhelming.”

Ezekiel laughed, turning back to her. He had just set the dishes in the sink, rinsing them would get his gloves wet.

“You can say that again. But I could tell how hard he was trying, so I tried too. I got the gist of the big picture he was trying to paint. Kinda crazy, if you think about it. We sure did a lot of stuff really fast.” Ezekiel said, running a hand through his hair. Eve nodded, standing, and stretching her arms above her head.

“And we’ll do more tomorrow. Makes you think about a pretty bright future ahead, right?” She asked.

“Or a wasteland that we brought upon ourselves, when we try to play God and eventually destroy our own society.” Ezekiel deadpanned. Eve laughed, putting the salt and pepper back on the shelf.

“You watch too many movies, Jones.” She said fondly.

“Hey, Eve?” He asked, tone changing. She looked to him, recognizing the change, and cocked her head.

“Yeah, kiddo?” She asked.

“Why haven’t you and Professor Flower-Power gone out yet?” Ezekiel asked, pointing to the place on his chest that a pocket would be, if he were wearing a jacket. Eve’s face turned red, and she clenched her jaw, trying to appear neutral to the question.

“We- I - it’s not like that. We’re just friends,” she said, and he narrowed his eyes. He gave her a look that needed no words, and her facade broke. She huffed, rolling her head back and letting her shoulders drop.

“We just, haven’t, okay? Things are complicated.” She said.

“How are they complicated?” He pressed.

“They just - they are.” Was the only answer she could find.

“Baird, come on. Life’s too short to be afraid of stuff like that. You know you both like each other. There’s nothing that’s really stopping you, besides excuses.” He stated, crossing his arms.

Eve opened her mouth, then decided against it. She considered him for a moment.

“Why do you care?” She asked, curiously.

“Because he makes you happy.” Ezekiel said. Eve’s face softened. “And it’s getting kind of annoying watching you both pine.” He added quickly, so it wouldn’t be too sappy. Eve just smiled knowingly at him.

“Well, I guess I’ll...take that into consideration,” Eve said.

 

Ezekiel sat in the window seat that night, petting Stumpy, and thinking over his situation. Everything seemed to be going well...maybe staying here was the right choice.

But in the long run, what would this mean? It was dangerous. These people...if he really chose to stay, to devote himself to being better for them...it left him open to them hurting him, even if they promised otherwise...he’d been in a similar situation before. He’d been vulnerable before. And it hadn’t ended...well. He turned his head towards the coming night, as memories washed up on the shore of his mind.

_Ezekiel had managed, finally, to sneak the key to the handcuffs off of Maria. Once she was gone, off to work, he struggled to unlock himself with the key in his mouth. The blankets underneath him clung to his clothes and back, plastered there with sweat. The blacked out windows made the room hot as hell, and he was pretty sure he’d been cuffed to the bed for what, a week now? She let him eat and go to the bathroom, but she had yet to let him take a shower or change his clothes. He felt like he was a kid again, having to wait for Rain to come over to do the laundry, stewing in his own filth. But he wasn’t a little kid anymore, he could handle himself._

_After what felt like hours of struggle, he succeeded, freeing one wrist. With that wrist, he made quick work of the rest, and pulled himself away from the bed with a sigh of relief. He bolted for the door, ripping it open, running through his mind everything he needed to grab and how he was going to get out of town._

_His plans and him were stopped mid-track, however, by a looming figure waiting on the other side of the door. From the looks of it, John had just been reaching for the handle, to enter. John’s face went from surprise, to dark, blistering rage. Ezekiel felt the world drop out from under him. He was screwed. Completely screwed. Talk about bad timing._

_Ezekiel barely had time to be terrified before John’s fist was slamming into his face, sending him crashing to the ground. A shoe plunged into his gut, causing him to curl into himself. John kicked him a few more times, and he gritted his teeth to keep from crying out. Then, suddenly, strong fingers were grabbing onto his hair. Ezekiel yelped at the new pain as John hoisted him up by his hair, and dragging him, failing in pain, to the bed. John tossed his down beside it, and Ezekiel reached up to gingerly touch his scalp. Pain now throbbing through his head and all the way down his spine._

_”Get back up there,” John demanded, pointing to the bed and the menacing handcuffs still hanging off it._

_Ezekiel felt tears well up in his eyes, and he gave John an imploring look. “Please, don’t make me, I’m sorry, I’ll be better, I promise. Don’t leave me here again, please, I-” The rest of his rather unmanly begging was cut short as a hand wrapped around his throat. John lifted him up at the same time he cut off his oxygen, and the act of being shoved back onto the bed made his whole body scream in painful protest._

_The hands around his throat were gone, but before he could regain his senses, his wrists where in cuffs again, as where his ankles. He struggled against them in distress, kicking weakly and then slamming back into the bed in despair and anger. John glared down at him, and then started to shake his head at his display._

_”Obviously,” John said in disappointment. “You aren’t getting the lesson here. You don’t decide what you do. I do. That was the deal. All of this behavior is unacceptable. I’m tired of going easy on you, Ezekiel.”_

_Ezekiel stared up at him, taken aback by the insanity of that. “Easy?” he exclaimed, shaking his bound wrists for emphasis. John’s face darkened. He adopted an expression that Ezekiel had never seen before, and he fell very still in fear of it. He’d really done it now, hadn’t he?_

_”Yes. Easy. You think I’m being mean? You think this is harsh? Extreme? This is nothing. This is basically house training. I suggest you start behaving properly…” John said, in a low snarl of a promise. Then John reached down, and undid the handcuffs around Ezekiel’s ankles. Ezekiel frowned down in confusion, and opened his mouth to ask what was happening. But his question was quickly answered when John undid the button of his pants, causing Ezekiel to freeze in confusion and fear._

_”Wha-” He started to say again, but the word denounced to a panicked noise when John grabbed the bottom of each pant leg, and yanked them off of him. Left in his boxers, Ezekiel pulled his knees together and pulled his legs away on instinct. “What the hell-” He exclaimed, alarmed. John reached out and grabbed both his ankles painfully, yanking them back to secure them once more. Ezekiel had a very, very bad feeling, clenching deep down in his gut. He strained against the cuffs around his wrists weakly, unable to take his eyes off of his foster father._

_”What you don’t seem to understand,” John said, moving along the side of the bed. “Is that you are completely helpless. Even when you aren’t tied down. I’m stronger, smarter, I’m in control. I could do whatever I wanted to you, Ezekiel. So, trust me, I’ve been taking it easy. Because I like you. I care about you. I want to help you, I don’t **want** to hurt you. But if you keep carrying on like this…” John’s voice died into an ominous feeling, and he leaned over Ezekiel menacingly. Ezekiel was frozen, holding his breath in fear as he stared up at John. Then he felt John’s meaty fingers dig into the inner part of his thigh, far too close for comfort. Ezekiel stiffened at that, eyes flicking down in fear, before he looked back up at John. His blood ran cold, and he suddenly felt like chewing through his damned ankles, if that’s what it took to get away. His heart started to pound, and his breath sped up. _

_”Do you get it, now?” John asked, and he dragged his hand just a bit higher, and Ezekiel felt his whole body start to shake. He felt lightheaded, and every rapid breath he took didn’t seem to provide any oxygen. Was this what hyperventilating was? Ezekiel nodded frantically, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. This couldn’t be happening. Why hadn’t he just listened, why couldn’t he ever be good? His mind was invaded by the knowledge of exactly what John was talking about, and he was so terrified, he would have done anything John asked to get him to just take away that hand, that threat, such a miniscule movement, but it was a looming threat the size of a guillotine._

_Seemingly satisfied with the way all the blood drained from Ezekiel, John smiled smugly, and pulled away. The minute his hand was gone from Ezekiel’s thigh, the young boy could suddenly breathe again. His mind screamed still, in shock of what John was apparently capable of. He still felt cold all over, and he was unable to stop trembling. He watched, still engrossed in fear, as John walked a few steps away. The tall man stooped down, and picked both Ezekiel’s pants up, and the handcuff key. Which Ezekiel had dropped in their initial struggle. John turned to Ezekiel, and raised up the pants._

_”Do you want these back?” John asked. Ezekiel couldn’t bring himself to speak, but he nodded desperately. He felt like he’d been ripped open and laid bare, and the thin layer of boxer shorts against the world suddenly didn’t feel like any sort of covering whatsoever. Not that putting his pants back on would take away the fear. But maybe he’d feel a little better._

_”Too bad. I think being locked up doesn’t drive the message home enough, maybe a little modesty is what you need. You can have them back when you’re punishment’s over. It was going to be over at the end of the week, but we’ll see.” John said, and tossed the pants across the room. Watching them fly away, and hearing the news that he may be bound to this bed for even longer - Ezekiel’s heart withered and twisted at the bottom of his stomach, and the tears started to leak out. Silently blurring his vision, he didn’t even try to blink them away._

_Then, John walked over to the nightstand right next to Ezekiel’s head. He set the handcuff key right next to where Ezekiel’s left hand was hanging._

_”Get out again if you want. It's up to you. Just remember, if you do, and I catch you, it won't be this bed you’re handcuffed too. Do you understand?” John asked, straightening up and crossing his arms. Ezekiel nosed once more, still mute. John smiled, and the darkness suddenly left him._

_”Now, what do you say?” John asked. Ezekiel swallowed past the dryness in his throat._

_“T-thank you…” Ezekiel whispered weakly, lowering his eyes, unable to look at John any longer._

_”Good boy.” John said, and then he was gone, shutting the door softly behind him. Once he was gone, Ezekiel craned to look at the key. He considered his options for only a moment, before, with a heavy heart, he turned his head away from the key and squeezed his eyes shut._

_Whatever dignity Ezekiel had left broke. He started to sob, tears cascading down his face as he shook. And they weren’t average sobs, no, they were heart-wrenching, wet, nasty sobs. For the next few days, he lay bound to the bed, in just a shirt and his boxers, feeling more naked than he’d ever been in his life. He lived forevermore after that in absolutely paralyzing fear that John would make good on his promise. After he’d finally gotten away, having avoided that punishment, the fear of it put an extra kick in his step._

 

Ezekiel swung his legs over the end of the window bench, pushing off the cushions, standing with a slight teeter. Exhaustion ached in his bones, and fear weighed down his heart. If he stayed here...he’d be tying himself down, leaving himself bare, making himself vulnerable. Something he never, ever wanted to be again.

But he also didn’t want to be alone again. He wanted to be loved and safe. He wanted a family and friends, he wanted people to hold him and touch him, look at him like he was...real. Talk to him. Tell him he was real.

Was it worth the risk? He was pretty sure. Nearly completely sure. Surer than he’d ever been in his life, that these people weren’t going to hurt him.

But, logically...there was still that two percent chance. Maybe five percent. Hard to tell right now. Regardless, there was still a chance. And that chance...it was as miniscule as a hand on the thigh. But just as terrifying. Because that sliver of a chance, it promised agony. Violation. The freshest hurt of all, the act of opening up to someone, only to have them hurt you. Even if you knew you deserved it. He supposed it was hard to fight instinct.

It was a scary chance...but it was one Ezekiel was willing to take.

\-------------

“You know i’m just a rebound, right?” Tom asked one day. They were sitting in his car, eating sub sandwiches. They’d been making out in an out of the way parking lot, and then had gotten hungry.

Ezekiel turned to him, blinking. “What?”

Tom didn’t look at him. He seemed casually fascinated with what was left of his sandwich. He picked out an unwanted onion, and flicked it out the window.

 “I know you’re in love with someone else, and I know you can’t have that person, and whatever you have with me was just an easy, casual rebound.” Tom said matter of factly. Ezekiel blinked a thim, and Tom carried on, shrugging.

“Not to say that’s a bad thing.” Tom’s southern tone got a little richer as he talked, because he was speaking with meaning. “There’s no way I could be talking shit, either, because this ain't been something profound for me, it never was. This, to me, has always been about testing myself with someone, where that’s not going to blow up in my face. It’s physical and casual, and ya know, that’s alright…”

“Yeah. I know.” Ezekiel said softly, still shocked by Tom’s accusation of love. Then he swallowed, and looked down at his lap. “I didn’t mean for you to be a rebound. My first thought was helping you, and having some fun.”

“Well, that means a mighty lot to me. Honestly, it does, I swear. You’re a good guy, Jones. A great one, actually. And I...even if I did have profound feelings for you, I sure wouldn’t deserve you.” Tom said, turning to look at him finally, smiling a shrewd smile. Ezekiel returned it, leaning back a little.

“Funny. I was just about to say the same thing to you.”

They each gave a weak, dry laugh. Tom looked back at the steering wheel in front of him. There was a beat of silence.

“So, uh, this has been fun. And enlightening. And hopefully a good rebound for you,” Tom added, with a gracious nod in his direction.

“Oh, absolutely. 10/10.” Ezekiel assured immediately, with a solemn, ironic nod. Tom nodded.

“- but, uh, I think it’s about time we called it a day. On the whole, making out thing. Hopefully, uh,” Tom looked down at his lap, clearing his throat. He looked uncharacteristically insecure. “You’d still want to hang out? Sometimes. As bros.”

Ezekiel smiled. “I think you’re right. And hell yeah, we’re gonna hang out. Who’s ass am I gonna beat at basketball otherwise?”

Tom huffed dismissively. “You know I let you win.”

“Oh, shove off.”

\------------------

Ezekiel nervously fixed his hair in the mirror, leaning over the bathroom sink. Luckily, he’d had enough money from his dog walking gig to rent himself a suit. Cassandra’s parents were throwing a fancy rich people party for her birthday, and she’d desperately begged them all too go for backup. While Ezekiel was nervous, he felt worse for Jake. He was the hick boyfriend she’d be introducing. Not that he was jealous of that at all. Well, maybe a little bit. Which was weird. Actually, he was the only one who didn’t have a date. Damn, couldn’t Tom have waited just a little longer to break off their whatever it was? He’d probably fit right in at these rich people things.

Once satisfied, he headed down the stairs to join the others. Almost immediately upon entering the living room, Eve pointed her finger towards the stairs and shook her head. Ezekiel froze, raising his shoulders and spreading his hands.

“Hey, what’d I do?” He asked, affronted.

“Ezekiel, you can’t wear hacker gloves to something like this. C’mon, leave them in your room. Just for tonight.” Eve instructed. Ezekiel stiffened, glancing at his hands. His gloves. Taking them off hadn’t even occurred to him.

“But...c’mon…” He said, trying to stall for some explanation to keep them on.

“Ezekiel, take them off.” Eve said, firmly. Ezekiel hesitated. But if he put up too much of a fight, it would raise suspicion. Instead, he turned, and headed back up the stairs. He took his gloves off, leaving them on his desk. Nervously, he stared down at his palms. White scar tissue rose up, marring them, ropey and in the way. He could feel them when he clenched his fists. He remembered looking down at his hands when it had first happened, staring down at his own muscles. He shook the images out of his head, and stuck his hands in his jacket pockets.

He headed back down the stairs, acting as casually as possible. If he kept his hands in his pockets or at least turned down the whole night, nobody would notice. Ezekiel Jones was a master of slight of hand, he could do this for one night.

Eve, Flynn and him took Eve’s car, and met Jake and Cassandra outside her house. Ezekiel got out of the car, and promptly stopped moving whatsoever. He stared up at the gigantic house, mouth dropped open completely. Cassandra blushed, hurrying up to them. Flynn got out of the car, and whistled.

“Cassandra, you didn’t tell use you lived in a mansion!” Ezekiel exclaimed loudly. God, there was a fountain. A fucking fountain with a statue. In front of her house. Her house, with ivy climbing up the walls. What the fuck.

“I’m sorry.” She apologized meekly, brushing her hair behind her ear as Jake approached behind her. That cause Ezekiel to snap out of it, closing his mouth finally and looking down at her for the first time. Then he was frozen in a whole other kind of awe.

Cassandra was wearing a pale blue dress, with long sleeves and a long skirt. Her hair was curling away from her face in rivers of red. But with that shaved part still proudly on display. Her makeup looked professional.

“Don’t be sorry! I’m just surprised. You...look really good.” He said, swallowing. Cassandra smiled at him, and he felt the world fall out from under him.

And then he looked over at Jake, and god, it was a double whammy. Jake was freshly shaved, hair soft and styled upwards, shoulders filling out a suit nicely. Really, really nicely.

They went inside, and Ezekiel tried his best not to oogle. He really didn’t belong in a place like this. He used to steal from places like this. It felt...surreal.

Ezekiel soon discovered why Cassandra had been desperate for moral support. These rich people were vicious. Everything they said sounded nice, but was really dragging your entire existence through the mud. They spent so much time telling Cassandra their condolences on her impending death, but instead of saying how much they missed her, they babbled on about what a loss of a pretty face or a bright mind. Ezekiel wasn’t even the one it was directed at, and he felt dehumanized. Just from proximity!

He could tell that Jake felt the same. Eve and Flynn had gotten swept away by the Mayor a while ago. Because, yeah, the Mayor was at Cassandra’s birthday party.

Eventually, they managed to slip away, hiding in the alcove between the servant's entrance to the dining room.

“Oh my god, these people are insane. No wonder it’s so easy to steal from them.” Ezekiel muttered in disbelief.

“I know, right?” Cassandra said, in a whisper yell of exasperation.

“Hicks may be hicks, but at least they’re upfront.” Jake muttered. Ezekiel nodded at him.

“Same with the streets. People at least have the decency to stab you in the back when you’re not still looking at them.” He said, and then they all burst into laughter. It was a laughter, born from the need to release tension.

A servant girl came through the swinging kitchen door, and smiled as she passed them. As the door swung back and forth a few times, they got bursts of what was happening in the kitchen. It was easy to make out a group of partygoers had snuck into the kitchen, and where drinking from a bottle of wine they’d taken out themselves. Cassandra narrowed her eyes. Her mother’s servants would never let anyone just -

“Honestly, I don’t know how you deal with something like that. After all the work you put into her.” Said a blonde woman, who Cassandra vaguely recognized. The door swung shut, then open again.

“I know. Breaks my heart every day, I wake up, every morning I remember what a waste it is.” A voice said, a voice that was out of sight. Cassandra’s eyes widened. It was her mother. The door swung shut, and this time it didn’t swing back. Jake and Ezekiel looked at Cassandra in surprise as she crept forward. Then they shrugged, and followed her. They craned to look from behind her as she slowly pushed open the door.

“-be honest with you, Janet. Sometimes, I wish we’d gone through with the abortion we were thinking about. Then we wouldn’t have to deal with this.” Her mother was saying, with a tone as if she were letting a great weight off her shoulders. The woman all nodded and murmured, in understanding.

Jake and Ezekiel stared at her, in horror. Cassandra was frozen, eyes wide, blood draining from her face. There was a long moment of silence. Cassandra let the door slowly shut. They stayed there, for another moment. Jake and Ezekiel looked at each other again, in fear.

Then Cassandra stood, shakily. Jake and Ezekiel did with her, watching her in fear that she may start seizing. Stress had a tendency to set her off. They followed her quickly through the house, ignoring many calls and greetings, to barrel up the stairs. Cassandra’s eyes started flowing with tears halfway up the stairs, but she didn’t stop till she reached her room. Jake and Ezekiel were right on her tail, and Ezekiel shut the door behind them while Jake wrapped an arm around her.

Jake lead her to sit on the edge of her bed as she doubled over, hands over her mouth as tears burned out of her eyes. He rubbed her shoulders, whispering comforting nothings Ezekiel couldn’t hear. Ezekiel’s heart wrenched in his chest. He wanted to go down there and teach that bitch a lesson, but he knew that’d be the wrong choice.

Unsure what to do, he kneeled down in front of her, and reached to pull her hands away from her mouth.

“Let it out, it’s okay.” He said, wrapping her hands in his and looking up at her, imploring her to understand what he was trying to portray with his gaze.

Her face screwed up as they made eye contact, and she did as he said, starting to sob as she leaned into Jake. She gripped Ezekiel’s hands, shaking as she cried. Jake kissed the top of her head, and Ezekiel rubbed his thumbs in circles on the backs of her hands.

She cried for a while, before her tears started to dry. She blinked them away, sniffling, coming back to the real world. And the first thing she registered was the feeling of the hands tightly holding hers. She frowned, forgetting her pain, letting go of Ezekiel’s hands just to grab his wrists, pulling them up a little. Ezekiel froze in alarm, as did Jake.

Cassandra’s reddened eyes widened. She whipped to look up at his mortified face.

“Oh my god, what happened to your hands?” She asked. Ezekiel pulled his hands away, standing up and moving away from them. He folded his hands underneath his armpits, and looked like he was wrapping his arms around himself. His eyes flicked between Jake’s sympathy and Cassandra’s horror. Like an animal ready to bolt.

Cassandra realized, with all the suddenness of the sun, what she’d done.

“Oh my god, i’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so rude!” She said, wincing. Ezekiel opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Cassandra gaped in horror at her own insensitivity, before she seemed to come to a firm decision. She stood, and reached behind herself, starting to unzip her dress. She bent her shoulders forward as she did, so that the silky arms were easy to pull out of when she was unzipping. Through this, she was able to shuck the entire upper body of the dress in a matter of seconds. She straightened up, the dress hanging around her hips, wearing a grace, lace sports bra. Both Ezekiel and Jake’s jaws dropped. Jake shot up off the bed, and Ezekiel backed up till his back hit the wall. Cassandra pushed the dress all the way off, letting it fall to the floor.

“Woah, woah! What the hell?” Jake exclaimed.

“I need to even the score.” Cassandra explained.

“What does that -” Ezekiel started to ask, but then his eyes found the answer. Over the top of Cassandra’s slender thighs, were scars. Some older, some fresher. Self inflicted. None of them new, though. So, that was something.

“Oh my…” Jake breathed, heartbreak writing across his face. Cassandra swallowed, and lifted her head a little higher. Despite her tear stained face, and the fact she was standing there in her underwear, she looked remarkably strong.

“I started after my first visit to the hospital. I started to feel like my body was a prison, it was trying to kill me. So I dealt with it by hurting my body. But it wasn’t healthy and I stopped. But...I can’t ever get rid of these. And I can’t pretend i’m not ashamed of them. But I…” She seemed to lose both the strength and the direction in her voice, faltering. Jake stepped forward, reaching to brush her hair behind her ear. She turned to him, and he kissed her on the forehead. She bowed her head into it, letting her eyes close to the comfort.

Ezekiel swallowed, and looked down at the floor. Cassandra cared about him enough, to expose something like that to them, just to try and make Ezekiel feel better? That was...it seemed everyday, these people surprised him with the capacity of their love.

Except...the score wasn’t even. Cassandra hadn’t just shown her scars, she’d explained them. That was...another level. If they really loved him as much as they said he would...maybe opening up to them was the right call. Really invest in this place. Maybe that was the path to getting better.

“I had this foster mother…” Ezekiel heard himself say, in a hesitant tone. Both Jake and Cassandra turned to look at him, surprised. He glanced up at them, vulnerability radiating from him. They nodded, listening, with somber expressions. He licked his lips, and then took a breath to go on.

“She really didn’t, uh, like my stealing.” Ezekiel said. His words were slow and awkward, halting. He was so unused to this. He cleared his throat. “So one night, I came home after being arrested for some dumb shoplifting, and…” His words dwindled off. Jake and Cassandra stayed silent, in respect.

Ezekiel pulled his hands out from under his armpits, and slowly unfurled them in front of himself. He spread them out, and it was easy to see the raised white curling scars. He stared down at them himself, swallowing again.

“She was making food, in the kitchen. I came in and she...we started argueing. About my stealing. She got really mad and took the pots off the burners, and….she, uh, grabbed my arms. I didn’t realize she was putting my hands on the burners until it was too late. And she was a lot stronger than I thought, so it was a while...burned really deep, so, gloves for me.” He said, trying not to sound like he’d undergone trauma. “It worked, for a while. But it couldn’t last. I guess my hands only know how to steal.” He joked, for good measure.

Jake and Cassandra stared at him, their pain evident in their very open expressions. Cassandra moved forward, face filling with tears again. She slowly moved towards him, arms outstretched. Her face searched him, asking silently. He gave one slight nod, unable to move himself beyond that. She reached out, taking his hands. She leaned down while bringing them up towards her, and took one, gently kissing it. Ezekiel was so transfixed, watching her, feeling her soft lips press against his skin, that he didn’t notice another hand taking his, another pair of lips meeting his free pond. He looked over to see Jake had moved closer, and was also leaning to kiss his palm. He was frozen in shock, trying to process the emotions that were welling in him.

Then they both let go of him, and reached to pull him into a hug instead. Ezekiel, unused to hugs, was stiff at first. But soon his hopes got the best of his dread, and he wrapped his arms around both of them, returning the embrace. And that was how they stayed, for how long, Ezekiel didn’t know.

Eventually, their emotions settled down a little.

“I should probably put my dress back on, shouldn’t I?” Cassandra asked, voice muffled by the hug.

\--------------------

Time flew by, and soon, it was the first day of winter break. Jake and Cassandra had been over, hanging out with Ezekiel in his room all day.

“Why don’t you guys just stay the night?” Ezekiel asked.

“What, both of us?” Cassandra asked.

“Sure, why not? It’s not like you’re going to do anything. Unless you are.” Ezekiel added.

“What? No.” Jake said quickly.

“Well, then, we’re all good. Both of you, ask your caretakers. And just don’t mention the other one is also staying the night. I’ll go ask Eve.” Ezekiel declared, hopping up and heading out of the room before they could protest to his suggested lie. Besides, it wasn’t really a lie. It was just omitting the truth.

He headed down the stairs, skipping two at a time just for the hell of it. When he looked down the stairs, from his angle he could see Eve talking to someone in the doorway. Probably a solicitor, they got a lot in the area. He didn’t mind interrupting. After all, he was still Ezekiel Jones.

“Hey Eve, can Jake and Cassandra stay…” He started to say, as he made the last jump down the stairs. But as his head rose to meet the other people in the foyer, he found himself frozen in shock. His muscles went stiff, and his voice died in his throat.

“Hello, Ezekiel.” Maria said, face splitting into a sincere smile. “Long time, no see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, three extra long chapters in a week! I'm on a roll!


	28. I've been dancing with the devil, he was always good to me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group goes to dinner with the Reynolds, and all does not go smoothly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO MANY CHAPTERS SO QUICKLY
> 
> i can't be stopped

Ezekiel felt like the whole world had exploded. His spine dropped out of him, as he stared at John and Maria Reynolds, in the doorway of the only house he’d ever felt safe in. Eve smiled awkwardly, sensing the tension. She clapped her hands together.

“John and Maria were just in town, visiting. What was that about Jake and Cassandra?” Eve asked. Ezekiel’s eyes remained glued on the familiar couple. As his mind attempted to process the situation, the functional part of it recognized the need to respond.

“If...uh...they could spend the night?” Ezekiel heard himself ask. He swallowed, and felt cold all over. John was staring him down, and it was the same look John gave the deer when they used to go hunting. Which Ezekiel had always hated.

This couldn’t be happening, right? There was no way this was real. 

“Oh! Yeah, sure. Actually, uh, though...John wanted to take us out to dinner…” Eve said, rubbing the back of her neck.

“Oh, are these friends of Ezekiel’s? We’d love to meet them! He never brought friends home when he lived with us. We can take everyone out to a nice dinner.” Maria said, happily. Ezekiel felt sick to his stomach, as the floor seemed to spin. 

“If you’ll wait here, we’ll go ask them if that’s alright, and i’ll grab my coat. Feel free to make yourselves comfortable.” Eve said, walking quickly to Ezekiel. A hand on his shoulder turned him around, and pushed him up the stairs. Ezekiel just let himself be lead away, too busy inside of his own head to care. 

They reached the doorway to his room, and Jake and Cassandra seemed to be able to tell immediately that something was wrong. They sat up straighter, alarmed.

“Why is Ezekiel so pale? Did something happen?” Cassandra asked.

“Ezekiel’s last foster parents are here for a visit, it’s awkward as hell, they’ve invited everyone to dinner.” Eve quickly laid out the basics, and then turned away from surprised looking teenagers to a still pale Ezekiel. She put both her hands on his shoulders, looking at him seriously.

“Ezekiel, listen to me. You don’t have to do this if it will be too much. I can figure out a way to get them to go away.” She said. Her heart was hammering - she knew some sort of painful emotions were harbored between the Reynolds and Ezekiel, and she’d _just_ gotten Ezekiel to mellow out. She couldn’t risk him losing his emotional balance just when he was making progress. Making up with the Reynolds would have to wait. 

Ezekiel stared at her, and then he shook his head, as if trying to clear his head. His mind was racing, and he crossed his arms.

“No.” He said, frowning down at the floor as he thought. 

“ _No?_ You want to go to a dinner with them?” Eve asked in surprise.

“They don’t like being told no. It’s better if we just go. It’ll be fine. Put on your good faces, people.” Ezekiel said, straightening up and steeling himself. As if it was something he’d done before. 

“It’ll be fine?” Eve asked, unsure. 

“I can be civil. Besides, free food.” Ezekiel tried to pass off, and they all knew he was set in the idea. 

“Well, I guess-” 

“I need you to go stall them so I can put on better clothes.” Ezekiel said suddenly, snapping his fingers in realization. Eve blinked, looked at the others, then back at him.

“Okay. You guys get ready. Be quick.” She said, and then she was gone down the stairs. Ezekiel flew into a near panic, ripping apart his closet.

“Woah, woah, Ezekiel, you look fine!” Jake said.

“No, I don’t!” Ezekiel shouted from the closet, shirts flying over his shoulders as he dug. “I look like a line snorting degenerate who’s never worked a day in his life!” 

“That sounds repeated…” Cassandra said slowly, narrowing her eyes. Ezekiel ripped his hoodie off, and pulled off his band t shirt, scrambling to pull on a white button up, gloved hands shaking as he started to button it. He looked down at his red pants, frowning. Then he spun to the others, looking more nervous than they’d ever seen him.

“Is this alright? It looks put together, right? Put together but casual. Not trying too hard but trying hard enough, right?” He asked, gesturing to the shirt and pants. Jake and Cassandra glanced at each other.

“I don’t...I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean. And I go to fashion shows in Milan.” Cassandra said uncertainly. Ezekiel huffed, shaking his head. 

“It’ll have to work, I don’t have time…” He muttered, hurrying over to grab his phone. He turned it on and flicked open the camera, using it to look at himself as he combed his hair back, trying to push pieces into place. 

“Okay, this is weird, since when do you care about what people think of your clothes?” Jake asked. 

“Image is everything, Cowboy.” Ezekiel said, in the same tone that he was once again echoing someone else’s advice. 

“Wooow...he really wants to impress these people.” Cassandra said, raising her eyebrows as he licked his hands to help his hair situation. Ezekiel whirled on her, face screwing up.

“What? I don’t want to _impress_ \- oh, shut up!” He dismissed, turning back away. He looked around for a moment, before diving for his discarded jacket. He rummaged through the pockets, pulling his wallet out and shoving it in his pocket. Next, he pulled off the thumbdrive, and then hurried to his desk.

He shoved it in the back of his drawer, and then turned to them.

“Okay. Let’s go. Good faces.” He said, sounding like a robot.

“Okay, you’ve got to stop saying that, it’s downright creepy.” Jake muttered, as Ezekiel lead them into the hall. He didn’t reply, he was too busy trying not to panic. He could do this. He could just sit through a night of pleasantries, and trying not to cry as his skin crawled. Just act casual. Everything would be fine. 

He couldn’t let his past failures screw up the future he was working so hard to build. He couldn’t let the Reynolds make Eve and the others realize how worthless he was. He had to be on his best behavior. One night. Maybe a few more of these, he didn’t know how often the Reynolds planned on visiting. But he could keep it together, whenever they did, 

Walking down the stairs felt like voluntarily walking through the gates of hell. Every step threatened to drag him into a great abyss. You could only outrun the hellhounds so long, he supposed. Had he ever had a soul to sell in the first place, he wondered? Real people have souls.

Behind him, Jake and Cassandra were their own kind of nervous with this whole matter. They didn’t know what had gone down with these people, but Ezekiel obviously cared a lot about what they thought. This was going to be awkward, and there was nothing they could do but come along for the ride. 

When they reached the bottom of the stairs, John stepped forward, reached out a hand to shake with Jake. Jake nervously smiled at him and his wife, returning the shake as strongly as he dared. This guy was fucking beefed. He looked like an action movie hero, not a real person! And she looked like an angel right out of white washed biblical movies. The light in her smile could probably give power to a small town for at least a year, maybe two. 

“Friends of Ezekiel’s? Where’d you meet? Holding?” John asked, cracking a playful smile and winking at Ezekiel. Ezekiel felt dizzy, and tried not to bolt for the door. Everyone besides Ezekiel and John laughed nervously, and it was evident nobody besides Maria actually found it funny. 

“No, school.” Jake replied, after the (mostly) forced laughter had died. John pulled back, clasping his hands behind his back as he nodded, exchanging a look with Maria.

“So, what grade are you in?” Maria asked, directed the question towards Cassandra. 

“Uh, eleventh.” She answered.

“All three of you?” Maria asked.

“Uh...yes…” Cassandra asked, swallowing. Why did she feel like she was being interrogated? Cop’s wife, she supposed, from that badge on the towering man.

“And is that the grade you’re in by age, or education level?” Maria asked, in that same, casual, pleasant voice. 

“What exactly are you asking?” Jake said, in a slightly too confrontational tone. The atmosphere shifted, and Ezekiel started having trouble breathing. Oh, god. That kind of tone? Hadn’t Jake learned anything from the debacle with his own dad? Ezekiel stared at the carpet in front of his feet, considering how fast he could open the window in the living room and get through it.

Maria leaned back, putting a hand on her chest, as if surprised she may have offended him. 

“Oh, I didn’t mean anything. I was just wondering, because if you’re in the same grade level as Ezekiel, well, I can’t help but wonder how that would work.” She explained apologetically, as if it were a perfectly acceptable answer. Jake clenched his jaw. John noticed this, because he laughed, waving his hand.

“Oh, don’t take anything by it, my boy. Some people are more intellectual than others. Some people are better with their hands, it’s the way of the world. Now, if only those hands could stop stealing, we’d all be on the good train.” John declared, wrapping an arm and giving his wife a jolly squeeze. Ezekiel curled his shoulders in towards himself, bowing his head a little more. Nobody noticed it, they were all too busy looking at John. Everyone besides Cassandra. 

“Now, speaking of the good train, how about we all head out to eat? Any suggestions, Eve?” Maria asked, turning to the door, and everyone started to usher out. Ezekiel waited, intending to let everyone else go ahead of him. He looked so...small. As if all the gusto that made him so beautifully infuriating had been sucked out of him in a single instant. Cassandra’s heart twisted. She knew how he felt like he was stupid, and she knew it wasn’t true. Maybe these people weren’t the angels Eve had described them as. Sure, they seemed to be nice in general, but it seemed they were lacking in a couple of areas. Silently, she slipped her hand into his pocket, to wrap around his. He looked over at her in shock, and she offered her most supportive smile. They followed the others out, and for the sake of it, Cassandra had to let go of Ezekiel’s hand at the door. But that moment, it had been enough. 

“The kids can take Jake’s truck, and we can take yours?” Eve suggested, as they walked down the pathway. The others agreed, and soon they were off the road, on their way to an expensive irish restaurant. Cassandra had let Ezekiel have shotgun. She sat her chin on the top of Jake’s seat as they all sat in silence. Ezekiel stared down at his lap, Jake at the road, and Cassandra glancing between them.

“So...these guys. They’re the ones who...wanted to send you to juvie?” Jake finally asked, trying not to sound like a dick. He had a feeling he failed regardless. Ezekiel didn’t move his gaze.

“Yes.” He replied.

“And...how do you feel about that?” Cassandra asked.

“Well, _obviously,_ I didn’t want to go to juvie. But...they were in the right. I don’t hate them.” Ezekiel said, words stopping and starting a few times. 

“Do you...love them?” Cassandra asked softly. Ezekiel made no huge reaction to the question. He merely raised his head, and looked out the window instead of his lap. Those seemed to be his only two modes, looking out the window or at his lap.

“Love’s a strong word.” Ezekiel said, with not a trace of finality. There was a pause.

“That wasn’t an answer.” Cassandra said.

“I guess it wasn’t.” Ezekiel replied, and they knew they’d be getting nothing else from him. 

They got the restaurant, and whatever conversation Eve had had with Reynolds had apparently gone way better. They were laughing, practically doubling over each other as Jake pulled into the spot next to them. 

John lead them into the restaurant, procuring them a private table. He had that air about him, everybody wanted to do what he wanted. It made Cassandra suspicious.

They took their seats, and nobody noticed Ezekiel digging his fingernails into his thigh as the Reynolds managed to sit directly across from him. Eve took one side of him, Jake took the other, with Cassandra next to Maria across from him.

Ezekiel kept his face blank, and his eyes on the menu. He wasn’t hungry at all, but he had to order something…

Unfortunately, he was interrupted by the worst thing on the planet. _Small talk._

“So, Ezekiel, how _is_ school?” John asked smoothly, eyes burning him like this was the Lord of the Fucking Rings. Ezekiel supposed that made him the one disappointment to rule them all.

He stared up at John, everyone’s eyes on him. Nothing came out. Just this situation alone, he could barely process it. Talking to them, looking at the, and they were asking him all the same question they used to every night at dinner. But everything was different now, and he was just so _afraid_.

Finally, he swallowed his silence. _Get through this, Ezekiel. Not for you. For them._ His mind told him, and he glanced at Jake beside him before looking back to John.

“Uh, better.” He answered. He internally winced. That wasn’t at all an acceptable sentence.

“Uh?” Maria asked, with a very paternal tone. “When do we say uh?” She asked, routine. 

“When we want to sound like animals.” Ezekiel replied, on instinct. Then he flushed, and looked back down at his menu. He shouldn’t feel familiar with her, they shouldn’t be reciting their old things, she shouldn’t give him that motherly tone. He wasn’t her son. He’d failed her, he’d lost all of that. 

Eve’s temple throbbed slightly, but she wasn’t sure why. Could she be …. Jealous? Jealous, worried, on edge. All of the above. Ezekiel, poor thing, looked like he wanted to just sink right through the floor. She’d only ever seen him so ashamed the night he’d come home drunk and then broken down crying once he realized what a dick he was being. Ezekiel must have done something pretty bad to bail John and Maria, if this was how he was acting. 

She cleared her throat, smiling tightly at Maria. “He is doing so much better, though. Really been trying hard. We’ve worked out an arrangement with the school, to get him the extra help he needs.” She said proudly. She was momentarily terrified of how PTA she sounded, but she soon shook the realization aside.

Maria nodded, pleased at the news. John made a scoffing noise, smiling as he took a drink of the ice water. 

“Extra is putting it lightly, eh?” He laughed. Ezekiel bit the inside of his cheek. Jake frowned, very blatantly. Cassandra ducked her head. 

Eve sensed an imbalance. “Yeah, and you’d know, eh, John?” She laughed in return, slapping the table and sighing nostalgically. “Why, it was just yesterday you paid me in coffee to give you extra training when we were on tour.”

John’s smile faltered slightly. Maria’s glass, on it’s way to her lips, paused for just a moment, before carrying on its journey. He regained his pleasant expression just as quickly. No one caught it, besides Eve.

“Ah, well, she’s right. We all need a little help. What do I always say?” He said, and then gave actual pause, waiting for someone to answer him. Maria’s eyes locked onto Ezekiel, and Ezekiel knew it was a question directed at him. Why did he feel like he was being attacked? With pleasantries? The food wasn’t even here yet...he supposed he deserved it. The least he could endure.

“ _A little help on the shelf and a little hard work in the dirt._ ” Ezekiel recited by heart, but it was very obvious his heart wasn’t in the chant. John smiled wider nonetheless, and reached to wrap an arm around Maria.

“That’s advice everyone in this country could use. Some more than others.” John sighed. Cassandra exchanged a look with Jake, and Jake saw she had her phone in her lap. He stealthily pulled his own phone from his jacket, keeping it under the table. He chanced a glance down to read the screen.

**IS THIS NOT THE MOST AWKWARD THING IN THE FUCKING WORLD - Cassie Sent 9: 14 PM**

**Preaching to the choir. Let’s eat fast.** \- Jake Sent 9: 14 PM

They soon ordered their food, which gave a slight relief to the tension and the passive aggressive small talk. John then started asking Jake and Cassandra about their schoolwork, and he was far less glary with them. Which was to be expected. They hadn’t done anything wrong. Cassandra excused herself to the ladies room, and almost immediately afterwards, the food arrive. Just her luck.

Ezekiel was never happier in his life to see the waiter coming. He himself had ordered what had looked the best tasting, which was a spicy chicken hot skillet. The waiter was wearing an oven mitt as he set it down on the table, giving a warning of the dish’s heat before moving on to serve everyone else. Ezekiel tried to focus on the food, trying to build up an appetite. He reached for the fork, figuring he’d try his best. 

“Oh, do be careful, Ezekiel,” Maria said earnestly across the table at him, as she picked up her own silverware. “I’d hate for you to burn yourself.” 

Ezekiel froze, mid-picking up his fork, staring at her. She smiled at him, with all the innocence and grace of an angel. Ezekiel felt all the blood run out of him as his mind dragged him, kicking and screaming, back to that night. His heart started to pound, and his head grew light. Oh no. No, no, no, not here, not one of these damned things. Ezekiel bit the inside of his lip, shakily putting his fork back down and pulling his hands into his lap.

Everyone else was busy getting served to notice the exchange - everyone, besides Jake. He watched the whole thing, transfixed by the sudden tension. He frowned between the two of them. He opened his mouth to ask, but then it hit him.

_I’d hate for you to burn yourself._

Jake’s eyes widened, and he glanced down at Ezekiel’s hands. In their tell tale gloves, which he knew his scars. Burn scars. From a foster mother. Could it be…? Jake glanced at Maria. She didn’t seem the type. Then again...appearances could be deceiving. 

Ezekiel stood up suddenly. “I’m going to the bathroom, be right back.” He announced, and then vanished in a blur of pale teenager. They all watched him go, then returned to their food. Eve started up a conversation about a mutual acquaintance, but John soon stood up.

“I think i’ll take a round at the loo, see you lovely ladies and gents on the other side.” He bade farewell, and Jake’s eyes followed him suspiciously. But he didn’t get up. Causing a scene would probably just make it worse, after all. Besides, it wasn’t like John would do anything here in public.

\--------------  
_A FEW MOMENTS EARLIER_

Cassandra turned to corner, to find a line of woman at the bathroom. She pouted, shuffling in line behind an angry looking bussiness woman. After only a second of standing there, though, she decided against it. She didn’t want to leave Ezekiel alone long enough to stand in this line....

Her eyes wandered behind her, to the very open, empty doorway to the boy’s bathroom. What did she care about the gender binary, anyway? One had urinals, one didn’t, big deal. She had a friend to backup in case drama started flying across the table. 

She turned and hurried into the boy’s bathroom, peeking around the side. No one, the coast was clear. She locked herself in a stall and paid careful attention to see if anyone walked in.

Just as she was done relieving herself, she heard rapid footsteps approaching. In panic, she lifted her feet off the floor, pulling them up on the seat. She hugged her knees to her chest, and peered through the crack in her door. If she looked at just the right angle, she could get a surprisingly good view of the sinks. 

Into her field of vision came none other than Ezekiel Jones, looking like death himself. She watched in concern as he grabbed onto the edge of the counter, hunching over it. He was trying to breath, and looked like he was going to throw up.

She was about to get up, and go see if he was alright, when another pair of footsteps rang out. Her eyes widened as she watched John walk to stand next to Ezekiel, who was frozen. There was an impossibly tense silence, where Ezekiel didn’t breath, staring down at the counter. Hoping if he didn’t move, nothing would happen.

“Ezekiel.” John said, and his was dark. In the mirror, Cassandra watched Ezekiel squeeze his eyes shut.

“I’m sorry.” Ezekiel whispered.

“ _Sorry?_ ” John asked incredulously. “You could have killed me.” 

“You were _trying_ to kill me!” Ezekiel exclaimed, turning to him in disbelief. Then he froze again, and he had just a moment to regret his outburst before John’s fist connected with his stomach. He doubled over, grunting, and Cassandra jumped, letting out a little gasp. Luckily, they didn’t hear her. 

Then she watched in horror as John grabbed Ezekiel’s neck and ripped him up from his doubled over pose, slamming him into the wall next to the paper towel dispenser. She wanted to get up, and help, make him stop. She knew that’s what she had to do and yet - she was frozen, unable to move, just watching.

Ezekiel helplessly had to try and stand on his tiptoes, tears of pain and panic pricking his eyes as he reached his own hands to wrap around the wrist pinning him. But he resisted the urge to try and pull and claw at John. Remembering himself, he let his hands fall back down. John watched the movement, and smiled. 

“Well, at least you remember something. Maybe you’re not so stupid after all. If only you’d remembered not to fight back last time. Now, I wasn’t trying to kill you. I was trying to help you. You should know that, you should have known better. You had a choice, to stay in that closet. You’ve always had choices, Ezekiel. But every time, you make the wrong one. Do you know why?” John asked. Ezekiel, who seemed to know what was coming, shook his head as far as it would go, giving a tiny plea. The plea was ignored. John moved in ever closer, a predator with prey trapped beneath it’s claws.

“Because you just can’t make choices. Because you don’t even exist. You don’t know anything, you can’t understand anything, you don’t belong anywhere. And the only people who care, you run away from. These people? It won’t last. You’ll run away from them too.” John hissed lowly. 

“No.” Ezekiel managed to bring himself to, little more than a whisper. John blinked, taken aback.

“ _Excuse me?_ ” John demanded. Ezekiel seemed to gain a little more spine.

“No. I-I won’t run.” He stated, clearer. John’s face adopted an amused expression, and he chuckled slightly.

“Why? Because they won’t hurt you?” John asked, and by Ezekiel’s expression he could tell he’d hit the mark. He seemed even more entertained.

“Oh, Ezekiel…” John shook his head, tutting his tongue. “That’s exactly why you’ll run. These people, they don’t understand how to help you. They don’t understand you. But eventually, they will. And do you know what will happen then?” John asked. Ezekiel glanced towards the door desperately, trembling slightly under the hand holding him back. 

John leaned in super close, so they were practically nose to nose. “They’ll forget about you. Once all the lies you’ve built up fall away, they’ll see you for what you really are. _Nothing_. And then, well...they’ll probably stop talking to you, first. And then forget if you’re in the room or not, and well, eventually…” 

“Stop, please…” Ezekiel breathed, tears welling up and spilling over his cheeks as John easily stabbed a needle right into his deepest, darkest fears.

“...eventually, they won’t even see you.” John said, looking between his eyes. “You’ll be invisible. Null and void. _Nothing_.” 

Ezekiel stared at him, tears streaming down his face, as the horrible weight of reality crashed down on him. Oh, god, he was right. That was exactly what was going to happen. He was so screwed. What had he been thinking? A moment of overwhelming hopelessness crashed over him. He couldn’t go back to that, he couldn’t, he’d rather die...

“I don’t...I can’t...please…” Ezekiel swallowed. “Help me.”

John’s face screwed up.”I already tried. You screwed it up. I’m just here for that fucking flash drive. I know you have it.” His sickly hiss turned into a growl. 

Ezekiel’s eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t.”

“Yes, you do!” John said, starting to squeeze on his throat. Ezekiel desperately started to shake his head. 

“I-I destroyed it, it’s gone, I swear!” He lied earnestly. John narrowed his eyes, and then he seemed satisfied with the answer. He pulled away, suddenly letting go, causing Ezekiel to drop to his knees. He turned away, heading wordlessly towards the door. He knew Ezekiel wouldn’t tell anyone.

But before he could turn away fully, he was stopped by a hand grabbing the leg of his pants. John turned to look down on Ezekiel, on his hands and knees, looking up at him with desperate eyes. Tears still falling, he had to gulp before he talked. John was sure he’d never seen anything as pathetic as this, which was saying something.

“Please.” Ezekiel begged. “I need help.” 

John just huffed, and ripped his leg away, leaving Ezekiel alone with no answers. 

At least, he thought he was alone.

Cassandra felt like she was going to throw up. What should she do? She’d just sat here, the whole time, when she could have stopped it. Shame plunged her into an icy isolation. She should have done something. He couldn’t know she’d been here, watching, not doing anything. It would make everything worse…

Meanwhile, Ezekiel was still on his hands and knees. He curled in on himself, shaking as he started to sob. The sound snapped Cassandra out of her paralyzation. They were, hands down, the most heartbroken sobs she’d ever heard. 

\----------------

John returned to the table, and resumed his meal, jumping right back into a conversation with Eve and Maria. Jake watched him suspiciously. He’d gone right after Ezekiel had, after that little exchange…

“Where’s Ezekiel?” Jake finally asked. Everyone at the table looked over at him, and then to John, as the question had been directed at him.

“Still in there. I think he’s avoiding us. Which is understandable.” John said, shrugging. Jake’s eyes narrowed slightly.

“What about that redhead girl?” Maria asked, suddenly curious. “She’s been gone a while.”

\-----------------

Cassandra’s heart tore itself to pieces as she watched Ezekiel try to sit up, trembling like a leaf as he desperately tried to wipe away his tears. 

“ _Stop it, stop it, stop it…_ ” He muttered to himself, brokenly, squeezing his eyes shut. A moment of nothingness, and then he buried his head in his hands as the sobs carried on, wracking his body. Cassandra couldn’t stand it anymore, she couldn’t. She stood, pulling up her tights and flattening her dress. Then, taking a deep breath against her own set of tears, she pushed open the door. Ezekiel jumped, nearly slamming his head into the sinks. 

She knelt besides him, empathy pouring out of her, reaching out her hands. 

“It’s okay, it’s alright.” She assured him. He started at her, tears stopping as he just gazed at her with wide-eyed horror.

“You - how - “

“T-the girl’s bathroom had a long line, and I…” Cassandra finally felt a single tear escape, but she held the rest in. Didn’t need both of them looking like messes. “I’m so sorry, I should have done something...i’m so sorry.” She said, and moved a little closer, pushing Ezekiel’s hair back out of his reddened face. Her face was full of so much sorrow, and love, and empathy, Ezekiel momentarily forgot the connotations of her watching everything that had happened. Logic was out of reach, all he wanted was for this hole inside of him to stop hurting. Her arms were outstretched, hovering, hesitating. He pushed into therm, reaching to wrap his own arm around her as he buried his head in her shoulder.

She embraced him, running a hand through his hair as he cried. Luckily, her sweatshirt absorbed easily, and would dry the tear stains quickly. Not that that mattered right now, what mattered right now was whispering in Ezekiel’s ear that he was okay, and that he wasn’t nothing, that she loved him and would never let go of him. 

After a few moments of this, Ezekiel seemed to finally calm down, regaining his faculties. And then the reality of what John had said conflicted with what he’d recently been learning, and he had no idea what to think of all of it. One thing he did know, was that it was very very bad that Cassandra had seen all of that.

He pulled away from her, but only a little, to where they could see each other. Cheeks nearly touching, eyes downcast. He should say something, but his mind was so foggy, he didn’t know what. 

He soon lost any thought he had on the matter, when Cassandra turned, tipped up his chin and pressed her lips to his. He was in shock, first, unmoving. But then the warmth and softness of her lips melted into him, and he turned his head a little to move against her, hand moving up her back to cup her head. 

In the next second, however, reality came calling again. He ripped away from her, this time really smacking his head, but he didn’t care. He scrambled away from her, standing up. Cassandra pushed herself up as well, reaching out a hand to placate him.

“Ezekiel-”

 

“No!’ He exclaimed, eyes wide and nostrils flaring. He backed away from her, shaking his hand. “No, no, no, that didn’t just happen. You - Jake - no! Just, it never happened, okay? Okay?” He demanded, eyes wild. Cassandra bit the inside of her cheek. One problem at a time, she supposed.

“Okay. It never happened.” She conceded. She’d deal with that later. Ezekiel swallowed, turning to the mirror. He turned to sink on, and splashed cold water in his face until the redness faded a little. Cassandra watched, stuck in some sense she should be waiting, and didn’t have the right to talk. She’d really messed that up, hadn’t she?

Then Ezekiel dried his face, throwing the paper towel away and taking a deep breath. He turned on her, looking like he’d gathered himself. His eyes were still a little wild, though, and it was scary. 

“And what you saw before, it never happened either. Do you understand? Never. Happened. Forget about it. Just, please, don’t say anything. Please.” He said, half a command, half a beg. She hesitated, wringing her hands. 

“Ezekiel…” She started to say, tone apprehensive. 

“No! It. Never. Happened. Is that clear? _Please_ , if you really care about me that much, you won’t say anything. At least until I, uh, figure some stuff out, okay? Please. Act normal.” He begged, manic with desperation, taking a step closer to her. She glanced at him, and then at her own reflection in the mirror as her mind raced.

“O-okay. Nothing happened. I won’t say anything if you don’t want me to. But, can we talk? Later?” She asked, after she’d compromised shakily. He hesitated, then turned away from her. 

“Yeah. Later. But, until then…” He thought for a second, before nodding to himself, jerking his head at the door. “I’ll leave first, and then you’ll wait a little while, and leave. And act completely normal, okay?” He asked, again, trying to keep his hands from shaking. She grimaced.

“Yes.” She replied, but it didn’t feel right. Then he left, a picture of a man with no care in the world. God, how did he _do_ that? 

When it was her turn to go out and act as if nothing had happened, she was sure that the minute she sat down, everyone would know. She tried her best to smile and walk normally, nervously saying hello as she retook her seat. Everyone was almost finished with their plates. Ezekiel was eating his normally, but not looking up. Acting just as he had before the bathroom incident. How could he make it look so easy? Cassandra felt like she was going to explode, and had to look anywhere but at the Reynolds. She feared that if she did, she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from jumping over the table and shoving her salad fork in John’s eye.

Finally, it was over, and they parted ways in the parking lot. Ezekiel went with Eve to ride with the Reynolds, because Maria had something she wanted to discuss with both of them. Jake seemed tense, when they got into his truck. They followed the Reynolds car back to Eve’s place, for the first few blocks in silence. 

“Cassandra, I think those people hurt Ezekiel.” Jake suddenly announced, into the silence. Cassandra’s head whipped up.

“What?” She exclaimed, in shock. “Were you in the bathroom too?” 

“Well I - wait, what? What about a bathroom?” He asked, now confused. She gulped, hesitating. Ezekiel had said not to tell anyone, but...Jake already knew. And she really, really needed to talk about it. It was driving her insane. She explained what had happened in the bathroom. Jake was practically simmering with rage, and she could tell his mind was plotting the various ways to kill John Reynolds. She even told him the part where she’d kissed Ezekiel. Jake raised his eyebrows at that part. 

“I’m sorry! I know I shouldn’t of, I don’t know what happened!” She apologized to her boyfriend sincerely, suddenly terrified he’d be hurt as well. Jake shook his head.

“Oh, no, i’m not mad. I understand. Besides, this is....well, we’ve talked about this situation. No, i’m just surprised. Do you have like, a crying kink or something? Cause chopping onions before sex is probably not the weirdest thing -” Jake started to joke, wanting to lighten the mood. Cassandra slapped him on the arm, and he laughed. 

“No, silly…” She huffed.

“Then why did you kiss him?” Jake asked, genuinely interested. Cassandra sat back in her seat, mulling over the question.

“I guess...I wanted to make him feel better. I wanted to show him how much I loved him, that he wasn’t invisible. I wasn’t really thinking straight.” She murmured. Jake nodded. She looked at him, biting her lip. 

“Do you think I did the wrong thing?” She asked.

“I...don’t really know what the right thing is, in that situation. It doesn’t feel entirely wrong. It didn’t go over entirely well, though.” Jake answered. Cassandra shook her head.

“No, not the kiss. When I promised not to tell anyone. Should I have done that? I don’t know what to do, Jake. Should we tell someone? I feel like we should. But I promised not to. I don’t want to betray him.” She lamented over the dilemma. 

“I didn’t promise anything, and I knew before you told me. I can tell whoever I want. Which is exactly what i’m going to do, when we get to Eve’s house.” Jake declared. 

“You’re going to tell Eve?” Cassandra asked.

“Hell yeah I am. We’re spending the night tonight, so once Ezekiel falls asleep, i’ll go talk to Eve. You don’t have to betray anything.” Jake explained.

Cassandra looked at the road ahead of them, considering the situation. She watched the Reynold’s car move ahead of them. She felt a moment of sympathy, for Ezekiel, having to sit there in that car with his abusers. 

“She’s going to kill them, isn’t she?” Cassandra asked.

“Oh, for sure. Definitely. They’re goners.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love comments more than I love myself ngl
> 
> Come talk to me at queerseth.tumblr.com, the next chapter might be up by the end of the day, who knows.


	29. thE MOMENT WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EVE FINDS OUT.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit shorter of a chapter, but the next day! And it sets the pace nicely for the next chapter. Enjoy! 
> 
> WARNINGS: graphic depictions of violence, threats of sexual violence

Finally, after what felt like an eternity of sitting in the back of John’s car listening to Eve and Maria talk about the foster system, they got back to the house. The Reynolds bade their goodbye, and John’s eyes lingered on Ezekiel in the rearview mirror as they pulled away. The angelic smile slid off Maria’s face, like makeup.

“Did you get the footage?” She asked, staring ahead at the road. 

“No. He destroyed it.” John said.

“And you believe him?” Maria asked, turning to look out the back window with narrow eyes.

“Yes. He’s still broken, begged for me to take him back and everything. Groveled like the piece of shit he is. He wouldn’t lie to the only father he thinks he’s ever had.” John informed her. 

Maria laughed, sitting back in her seat. “God, that kid is stupid. It’s almost too easy with him. You think he’ll run? He seemed pretty cozy.” 

“Oh, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was gone by morning. We don’t have anything to worry about. That kid’s fucked in the head, he’s either going to end up in prison, or he’ll off himself before he’s 20.” John said, and they chuckled darkly as they faded into the dark streets of the night, merrily on their way. 

Jake, Cassandra, Eve and Ezekiel had watched the Reynolds drive down the street before all letting go a breath of relief.

“Well, that was awkward. But we got through it fine! Get to bed you guys, I imagine you’ve got big plans.” Eve said, turning and ushering them inside. Ezekiel was silent, but so were the others. There was still tension, of several layers. 

It was decided that Cassandra would sleep on Eve’s bed, and she’d sleep on the couch, and Jake with Ezekiel. Eve insisted. It wasn’t like she was going to let the _dying_ girl sleep on the couch. 

 

Once they were all set up with bedding, Eve bade them all goodnight. Jake kissed Cassandra in the hallway, and then headed into Ezekiel’s room. He noted that Ezekiel was already in bed, turned towards the wall. Not in the window set, like every other night. But Jake supposed he couldn’t blame him. 

Jake laid down on his makeshift bed on the floor, and waited. He knew from his time staying here, once Ezekiel fell into deeper sleep, he snored. But it was soft, not very loud. Easy to hear in the silence, though. The minute the soft puffs of sound began, Jake carefully got out of bed, creeping out the door.

He carefully walked down the stairs, careful not to make any noise. But he must have made some, because Eve was already sitting up when he entered the living room.

“What’s up, kid?” She asked, throwing the blanket off her. 

“The Reynolds hurt Ezekiel.” Jake announced, seriously. No sense beating around the bush. Besides, he didn’t have a clue how to ease into this conversation.

Eve was completely taken aback. “What?” She whisper-yelled, in disbelief. “Is that a joke? If so, it’s not very funny.” 

Jake huffed, nostrils flaring in frustration. “It’s _not_ a joke, Eve. They abused him. Both of them. And i’m not just stating what I _think_ , Eve. I know for a fact.” He hissed, urgently. Eve’s eyes widened, and her expression grew extremely serious. She stood up.

“How do you know this?” She asked.

“Cassandra saw it.” Jake replied. “She would tell you, but Ezekiel made her swear not to tell anyone.” 

“Then why did she tell you?” Eve asked.

“Because I already knew.”

“How?” She asked. Jake swallowed past a lump in his throat.

“Ezekiel has...scars. On his hands, his palms. Huge ones. That’s why he wears those gloves. Both me and Cassandra saw him without his gloves, and he told us how he got the scars. He told us a foster mother of his forced his hands onto a red hot stove top, to get him to stop stealing. He didn’t say the foster mother’s name, but at dinner, when we got our food, Maria warned Ezekiel not to burn his hands. I think I was the only one besides him who heard it. It was condescending, like she was teasing him. And he got super weird, and that’s when he went to the bathroom forever. Because she was teasing him about the fucking scars she gave him. Right in front of us!” Jake had to fight to keep his voice down, he wanted to yell, he just wanted to yell and scream until the universe cracked in half. 

Eve looked like all the blood had left her body. She gulped visibly, balling her hands into fists as she processed this information.

“And what did Cassandra see?” Eve asked, trying to keep her voice level. Jake explained everything Cassandra had told him, and Eve looked like she was going to throw up. 

“...so, Cassandra told me, since I knew. And I never made a promise…” Jake’s voice wandered off. Eve looked off to the side, distracted, nodding.

“Yeah, yeah, you could...you could tell me…” She said, voice weak. She sat back down heavily. She stared at her lap for a little, before putting her head in her hands. 

“I can’t believe this.” She breathed.

“I know they’re your friends…” Jake said.

“How couldn’t I have seen it?” Eve whispered, shaking her head. 

“That’s the thing about people like that. You can’t see how fucked up they are inside. Especially if they don’t want you to see.” Jake offered, as support. 

“I’m going to kill them.” Eve said, drawing her head up and balling her hands into fists again. “I’m going to fucking kill them, kill them both. Slowly. I’ll burn that bitch like a witch in Salem. After I make her watch her demon of a husband choke on his own fucking testicles!” She seethed, but her eyes were filling with tears. She stood violently, tilting her head back and angrily blinking them away. Then she took a deep breath.

“Okay, I have to deal with this carefully. I need more proof, for one thing. You say Cassandra is sure John was looking for a flash drive?” Eve asked. 

“Yeah, she’s sure.” Jake nodded. 

“Do you think it could be the one he carries around all the time? And rubs his thumb on?” Eve asked.

“It must be, he doesn’t let that thing out of his sight. Why would he lie?” Jake asked.

“Because he was afraid, but he couldn’t give that flashdrive up. There must be something important on it, that has to do with the Reynolds. I need to see what’s on that flash drive.” Eve decided.

“How do you plan on doing that? If you ask him he’ll bolt for sure, he’s probably already thinking about running again.” Jake said. Eve locked onto him with a very, very serious look.

“Who said I was going to ask?” She inquired. Jake’s eyes widened.

“You’re going to steal it from him?” He asked.

“Necessary evil, Jake. You said it yourself, he’s a flight risk right now. A big one. But I need to see what’s on that thumb drive.” She said.

“I’m sure someday, he’ll understand.” Jake offered hopefully. Eve clenched her jaw, looking at the ceiling. Her heart was so heavy it threatened to drop out of her, taking all of her internal organs with it. That would be far less painful than this.

“I hope so. Because the two of you are going to help me.” 

_This is for your own good, kiddo._ She prayed, to whichever god was listening.

\---------------------

Meanwhile, Ezekiel slept on, locked in a nightmare. He tossed and turned, but no noise escaped him. It was the kind of nightmare born from a memory, and it was a dream he re-lived often.

_Ezekiel cried out as John dragged him down the hall, trying to keep his feet under him and failing. Painfully, he was brought to a halt as John ripped open the closet door. There was nothing in there but coats, why -_

_John practically threw Ezekiel in, but the coats kept him from crashing into the wall. Before he could turn to question what was happening, the door slammed closed. Terrified, Ezekiel ran at it, but before he reached it the bolt lock clicked into place. He rammed it, only to fall on his ass, this time smacking his head on the back wall. Why did this closet suddenly seem smaller than normal?_

_”No! Please! Don’t leave me in here, please, i’m sorry! I won’t do it again!” Ezekiel begged, scrambling to the door so he could yell through it._

_”What do we say about promises, Ezekiel?” Maria’s voice called through the door. Ezekiel swallowed._

_“If you can’t keep them, don’t scream them.” Ezekiel recited, on reflex._

_”Good boy.” Maria coed, cruelly. Ezekiel’s felt helpless tears stream down his face, and he slammed on the door a few times._

_” **PLEASE!** ” He nearly screamed, terror ripping from his vocal cords to introduce itself._

_”Another outburst like that and I will fuck you until you bleed, you ungrateful brat!” John shouted, kicking the door sharply. Ezekiel scrambled back, curling up in the far corner and wrapping his arms around his head. He started to sob into his knees, and made no attempt to keep it quiet. He should have never tried to run again, after the bed incident. But he just couldn’t learn, could he?_

_”Oh, don’t cry! We’re helping you. You’ll understand when you’re older.” Maria reassured him, but it did nothing to cease his crying. He sobbed into the dark, because he didn’t know how long they’d keep him in here, and he was suddenly sure that he was going to die. He was going to die in here, all alone, in the dark. Worthless, nothing, forgotten. A literal skeleton in their closet. He couldn’t tell if he’d have rather John raped him. He was never going to see the sky again, he was never going to see the ocean again, he was never going to find his mother, he was never going to be someone, a real person, he was going to die locked in the dark, trapped, trapped, trapped..._

Ezekiel didn’t wake up with a gasp or a cry, but with a sob. He found himself in the middle of soaking his pillow in his sleep. Disgruntled, he pushed himself up, looking to make sure Jake hadn’t seen him crying in his sleep. He found Jake’s bed empty. He must be in the bathroom, or somewhere around here. Maybe he was doing Cassandra on the couch. Okay, no, not a good train of thought there. 

Ezekiel sighed, scrubbing his face. He tried to push both that mental image, and the memories of his time with the Reynolds away. In their place, came the events of yesterday, and the cloud of panicky, miserable confusion they brought. 

He laid back down, curling up under the blankets and squeezed his eyes closed against more tears. He just wanted to sleep forever, so he wouldn’t have to deal with it.

\---------------

“We’re _what?_ ” Cassandra whispered to Jake, as she pulled on her sweatshirt. They stood in Eve’s bedroom, Jake having come and woken Cassandra up first thing in the morning.

“Eve’s going to steal the flashdrive off of him, and we’re going to go with him while he walks his dogs, and make sure he doesn’t realize it’s missing. Keep him distracted for as long as possible.” Jake explained in a hushed tone.

“This is going to be the most awkward walk of our lives, isn’t it?” Cassandra asked, with a nervous huff. 

Ezekiel was silent when he met them at the bottom of the stairs, and handed Cassandra Stumpy’s leash, since he was the easiest to handle, and he feared her falling and hitting her head. As they made it out the door, Eve brushed past Ezekiel on her way out of the kitchen. She turned, waving goodbye to them. When the door closed behind them, her smile fell, and she let the thumb drive drop from her sleeve into her palm. She’d hoisted it up her sleeve, after lifting it from his pocket, after pulling it off the chain. 

Ezekiel may call himself world class, but Eve Baird had been all over the world. She knew a thing or two. 

She headed up the stairs, shutting and locking her office door behind her. She didn’t know how long it would take Ezekiel to realize it was gone, he was perceptive to that sort of thing. She sat down in the chair, pulling herself into the desk. She turned on the monitor, and plugged the thumb drive into the usb port. After a second of waiting, the little disk symbol popped up, named _Vacation Pics_. Eve narrowed her eyes. An innocent filename. Too innocent. Also, Ezekiel wasn’t the kind of guy to seriously use the term _pics_. She clicked on it, and the window opened up to reveal only two files inside of the flash drive. 

The first was a file type she didn’t recognize, and it was dulled out, showing it couldn’t be opened on this computer. Not with any software she had, at least. It just had a bunch of meaningless numbers as a name. The other file seem to be a video file, which was playable, labeled _leverage_. She frowned. It didn’t have a thumbnail image. What could this be?

Taking a deep breath, Eve glanced at the door before clicking on the leverage file. Another window popped up, opening her video player software. Her heart was frozen in place as she waited, holding her breath as it loaded. Then, an image filled the screen. It looked like...video camera footage? Grainy, at night, and in black and green nightvision type. But still, you could make out the image. It was a backyard, a nice looking one. She could only see the bottom corner of the house, with the angle of the camera. The yard spread out, framed by yards, and well kept. A big oak tree sprang in the far middle of the back end, lush and thick. In the middle of the yard, to the left, a shed was half built. Construction tools and benches sat there, and a stack of boards. Eve frowned deeper as the tape played on, seconds ticking by on the timer, while nothing moved in the yard. She was about to reach for the mouse to see if she could scrub through it, when something changed. In the bottom half of the camera, a figure came bolting out of what she assumed would have been the back door. At first, it was in the shade of the house, and hard to make out. But then it moved into the line of the moon, and Eve gasped. It was Ezekiel. Not too much younger. He wasn’t running, he was limping. Something was wrong with his leg. But despite the obvious pain he was in, he was trying his best to make it across the yard as fast as -

Another figure came into the shot, bigger, and faster. Eve’s eyes widened, and her blood ran cold. It was John. No, no, no...not John. She had been hoping, in some part of her, that it hadn’t been true. She’d known, logically, it probably was, but...right here before her eyes? She watched in horror as John quickly caught up with Ezekiel, reaching out and grabbing him by the back of the hair, yanking him backwards. Ezekiel’s bad leg gave out and he slammed to the ground painfully. John kneeled on top of him, pressing his knee into his chest. Eve’s hands slapped over her mouth as she watched the friend she’d gone through boot camp with wrap his meaty hands around the boy’s throat. He strangled Ezekiel, and Eve’s horror grew as the seconds ticked by, Ezekiel’s legs kicking out in a flurry of panic. But John didn’t move, he didn’t pull away. If anything he seemed to start to yell, moving his mouth as he bore down. 

Then, just when the kicks started to lose their power and Eve was sure he should be passing out, Ezekiel’s left arm start to reach out, flailing to the side, unnoticed by John. His hand finally reached it’s destination, pawing at the pile of wood at an awkward angle. Eventually, his hand closed around a board, and Eve jumped in her seat as he brought it up sharply, slamming the flat side of it into John’s temple. She felt a surge of pride, satisfaction and relief as John slumped to the side, unconcious. 

Then she watched, broken hearted, as Ezekiel struggled to drag himself away from John, gasping for breath before pushing himself up. He fell down a few times, before finally standing upright. Then he limped back towards the direction of the camera, and now that Eve could somewhat see his face, she saw it was so bruised it was barely recognizable. Then, presumably, Ezekiel went back inside the house. The video cut off, and Eve was left silently sitting in her office, staring at a black square, mind reeling.

How could the Reynolds have done all these things? Tried to kill him, abused him, burned him? The events of this video seemed to have happened after the burning, as Ezekiel was wearing his trademark gloves in them. God, it felt so surreal, to look at those familiar gloves, which she associated so strongly with Ezekiel, now knowing what lay beneath them. And who put them there. 

Eve felt a great storm of emotions welling up in her, and she stood, trying to breath. She walked around her office for a few moments, slowly, seething. Trying to get the red edges to recede from her vision. She’d trusted them! Believed in them! Everyone did, so many people! God, how long have they been doing this? Lying to everyone and abusing their foster kids? She had met some of those kids, none of them...how could she be so blind?

With a sudden flash of horror, Eve froze, as events replayed in her mind. Everything made a bit more sense, now, of course. As far as Ezekiel’s behavior went. But now her mind was racing through every time she’d preached about her friends, how many times she’d brought them up and used them against Ezekiel. How many times she’d felt _sorry_ for them! Guilt burned her up from the inside out, hot and unbearable, as she realized she’d automatically assumed whatever had happened was Ezekiel’s fault. _God_ , what kind of guardian was she? What kind of foster parent? How could she have been so _stupid_? How could they have done this?

Before she knew it, all the heat and pressure whipped out in the sound of a cry and the velocity of her fist hitting the wall, breaking through the drywall and smacking into the boards behind it. There she stood, momentum gone, breathing heavily as the red started to fall back. With an ashamed sigh, she pulled her fist out of the wall. Taking deep breaths, she looked around, before she found a tack and a picture to hang over the hole in the wall. That was the last thing she needed to deal with right now.

Once she was done with that, she sat back down in her computer chair, leveling her head and compartmentalizing. She couldn’t let her emotions get the best of her, she needed to think and act clearly. She couldn’t risk just confronting Ezekiel about this, he’d run for sure if she spooked him. She’d have to ease the subject in. 

She was going to have to pretend she knew nothing, and that everything was fine, for a little. Then, tonight, she’d made them both a nice dinner, and they’d sit down and talk. Hopefully, she could broach the topic easily enough not to scare the boy. And once she got Ezekiel to trust her and open up, she could handle this, find a way to help undo the damage they did. Find a way to make them fucking pay for what they did.

And number one on the to do list: Never, ever let _anyone_ touch a hair on Ezekiel’s head, ever again.

Just as she was considering the details of her plan, she heard the front door unlock. She froze, head whipping towards the door. He must have realized it was missing. She dove for her computer, ripping out the usb drive. Then she lunged for the door, tore it open, only to fly across the hall through Ezekiel’s bedroom’s open door. After a moment of hesitation, she tossed it onto the ground by the desk. Then she hurried out, flying back into the office right as she heard Ezekiel start to run up the stairs. She sat quickly at her computer and pulled up a random Word document.  
Ezekiel stuck his head in, looking frantic. She turned to him, the perfect picture of a relaxed, nonplussed adult.

“Something the matter?” She asked casually. He looked at her, and then he shook his head, leaving. A few seconds later he heard him let out a sigh of relief from his room. Her gut twisted in guilt at the dishonesty, but she would never let it show. Necessary evil. Not to mention how unbearable it was not to rush out there and rather him in her arms, never to let go. But no, she had to keep herself in check. She had to handle this carefully, for fear of losing him for good.

After that, Cassandra’s parents came to pick her up. She kissed Jake goodbye, and Ezekiel looked away. Then it was just the three of them, along with Stumpy, standing silently in the living room.

“I guess I should go home too. Thanks for letting me stay over.” Jake said politely to Eve, reaching to shake her hand goodbye. She accepted the shake, but then she smiled tightly, jerking her thumb towards the stairs.

“Actually, before you go, could you come help me with something? Uh, real quick?” She asked, and her eyes flicked towards Ezekiel, before returning to the southern boy. Jake also glanced towards Ezekiel, which only made the bow furrow his eyebrows in suspicion.

“Yeah, of course, lead the way.” Jake said, in a tone that sounded forced. Then the two of them hurried up the stairs. Ezekiel watched them go, narrowing his eyes. Something about everyone’s behavior gave him a bad thing. Well, being around Cassandra all day had given him it’s own kind of bad feeling, but this was different. His head had been clouded with emotion and fear since last night, but when he smelled something fishy, he knew it. 

Unable to resist the dread that was creeping up on him, Ezekiel waited a few moments before tiptoeing up the stairs. He crept towards the closed office door, softly pressing his ear to the wood and seeking out the vibrations of the hushed voices inside. Man, he’d been in this position before.

“...Did you see what was on it, then?” Jake was asking, urgently.

“Yes. I did. No wonder they came after it, it’s a video -” Eve’s voice faltered. “-it’s a video of John having a confrontation with Ezekiel. A brutal one. God, Jake, it was awful. I’m going to fucking kill him.” Eve whispered angrily. 

“God, that makes me sick. And he just carries it around?” Jake said. Eve must have responded with something, but Ezekiel could no longer hear anything distinct. His blood was roaring in his ears, light flying in front of his eyes as the world spun around him. They knew. They’d seen what was on the flashdrive. Cassandra must have told them. They all knew how pathetic he was, how he’d betrayed the Reynolds, from the sound of it. Cassandra had told them, had told them how worthless he was. They finally knew. 

Oh god. Eve was angry? What was going to happen now? Would they make him leave? Would they go back on their promise and hurt him? Would they just forget about him, treat him like he’s nothing? He stood, suddenly sharp, and held together. Drawn up like string. He clenched his jaw against the tears his shriveled heart begged for. Denial, and diligence. 

He silently stepped away from the office door, uncaring for the rest of their plot against him. He didn’t care what they were going to do. Because he wasn’t going to be here to see it done.

 _I’m coming, Mom. Sorry for the hold up. Won’t happen again._ He prayed, to whichever heaven was passing by. He told himself he was praying to a heaven, so that they could pass on the message. But deep down...maybe he knew better. Maybe he didn’t. Whatever the truth, that didn’t really matter anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! Please comment if you did! Or even if you didn't, really, that'd be interesting. 
> 
> Come talk to me at queerseth.tumblr.com!


	30. california dreaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THE EMOTIONAL CLIMAX OF THIS ENTIRE STORY

After Jake went home, Eve spent the next few hours digging into the Reynolds. Give Ezekiel some space before dinner. But she couldn’t find anything, no other lawsuits, nothing. God, how long had they been getting away with this?

Finally, emotionally exhausted, she decided to call it a day. She headed out of her office, towards Ezekiel’s closed door. What should they have for dinner? Probably pasta...she took a deep breath, schooling herself to act normal as she reached to knock on the door.  
No answer. She listened, for movement. Nothing. Was he downstairs?

“Ezekiel?” She called curiously, a bad feeling worming it’s way into her gut. No reply. From downstairs, or the room. Then a sound did break out, but it wasn’t human. It sounded like Stumpy, on the other side of the door, clawing at it and whining. Gritting her teeth, Eve reached for the handle, and opened the door.

The room was in a disarray, things tossed this way and that. The laptop wasn’t on the desk, and his duffel bag wasn’t at the bottom of the closet. Half his clothes were missing from his closet. Stumpy wined at her feet loudly, tail and ears drooping. She just stared down at the dog in horror as her mind caught up with her. Then she watched as the small dog hobbled over to the window seat, pulling himself up onto it and whining back at Eve, before slapping his paw a few times on the window seat. The window was open, wide open, curtains fluttering in the cold evening wind. Reminiscent of absence so painful Eve was sure she had to be having a nightmare. Ezekiel was gone. He’d run for good. Right out the window she had been so sure he wouldn’t use. God, this couldn’t be happening.

Finally, she snapped out of her shock. She whirled around, practically jumping down the stairs, and ripping the front door open. She ran around the whole house, and then ran down the street, to make sure he hadn’t just left.

She finally came to a stop at the top of the street, taking a breath underneath the street lamp. Tears pricked her eyes as panic gripped her chest, making it hard to breath. It was freezing and already dark out, being the end of November, but she couldn’t find it in herself to give a fuck. She ripped out her phone, and sent a group message to Jake, Cassandra and Flynn.

**EZEKIEL RAN AWAY. HAS ANYONE SEEN HIM? - Baird Sent 6: 40**

**WHAT? - Red Sent 6: 40**

**No. I’ll drive around and start looking, have you tried calling him? - Jake Sent 6: 41**

**I’ll help look! - Flynn Sent 6:41**

**I doubt he’ll pick up, but i’ll try. - Baird Sent 6 : 42**

After sending that response, she hit three on her speed dial, which was Ezekiel. She held the phone up to her ear, and her hands were shaking. _Please pick up, please pick up, please…_

The phone went straight to voicemail. _Shit_. He must have turned his phone off. Maybe even tossed it. That kid was too smart for his own good. And if wasn’t like she could track him, because it was the phone he’d brought with him. He had left the other one, the one she’d gotten him, on top of his desk. 

Just in case he turned his phone on, she left a quick slew of messages begging him to come back, promising she wasn’t going to hurt him and that he wasn’t nothing to her. He was _everything_ to her, truth be told. Her heart felt like it was being ripped out of her chest, which sucked, because she’d always hated those Indiana Jones movies.

Eve took a moment to breath, pinching the bridge of her nose. She had to go back to the house, and figure out where he’d gone. He had a history of disappearing, unable to be tracked, only popping up again when he was arrested in a new place. But she couldn’t let that happen, she had to find him before anyone else did. Or she would lose him forever.

\-----------

_A FEW HOURS EARLIER_

Once he’d gathered his shit, cursing himself for getting so comfortable, he’d been out the window without looking back. One kiss on the top of Stumpy’s head.

“You’ll be alright with Eve.” He had whispered to the dog, before he was gone into the night. Once he was a good few streets over, he’d stolen the car of some people he knew were on a long vacation. They’d take longer to report it stolen. 

It was a silver Dodge truck, easy to get open, a little harder to hardwire. But eventually, he got that spark, and the lights flickered on. He sat up in the driver’s seat, tossing his duffelbag into the backseat. Slapping the dashboard proudly, he pulled the door closed and was on his way. He pulled up the hood of his jacket over his face, and even if he drove the speed limit to avoid being noticed, he’d be out of town before Eve even realized he was gone. 

The silence was deafening, and gave him too much space to think, so he turned on the radio and turned the dial almost all the way up.

\----------------

Eve had ripped through almost the entire house for a clue as to where Ezekiel would go, when Jake and Flynn showed up at her door, looking haggard. The clock rudely informed her it was three in the morning.

“We’ve looked all over town, and I went out to where I know Tom’s people party, but he wasn’t there. I called Tom, and now he’s out looking too. But…” Jake looked pale, and grim.

“He’s probably out of town, Eve.” Flynn said. 

Eve turned away from them, hands running through her hair. She started to shake her head.

“I failed. I failed him.” She breathed.

“Eve, don’t say that -” Flynn started to say, and Eve whirled on him, tears welling up in her eyes. Jake and Flynn froze in shock. Never once in their lives had they ever imagined Eve as anything other than her strong, level headed self. Eve Baird and hysterical crying just didn’t exist on the same plane of existence.

“But I did!” Eve practically cried. She balled her hands, grabbing clumps of her hair and breathing in deep. “I - I wasn’t good enough! I tried to save him, I tried to help him, and the whole time I was praising his fucking abusers right to his face and I - I can’t believe I let this happen! How could I be so stupid? They’re going to find him and he’s going to go to that horrible juvie that’s practically a violation of human rights and he’s probably alone, and scared, and thinking that we don’t love him! And it’s all my fucking fault!” 

“Eve, it’s not your fault. It’s their fault, they’re the ones who hurt him, they’re the liars. You’ve done nothing but good by that boy. This isn’t about you, this is about the horrible things the world has put in that boy’s head. He’s got problems, remember? You can’t love that away in a few months. That’s not how it works.” Flynn said, firmly but gently. He reached out, squeezing Eve’s shoulder. She bowed her head, squeezing her eyes shut and taking a moment to breath. 

“We have to figure out where he’d go.” She said, more collected.

“He said he had a destination in mind.” Jake remembered suddenly. Eve and Flynn turned to look at him.

“What?” Eve asked. Jake’s eyes were bright with a spark, and he snapped his fingers a few times, trying to think.

“He told me and Cassandra, a while ago. He’s not just running away for the sake of running. He’s trying to get somewhere, he has been this whole time.” Jake explained. Eve blinked, taken aback by the information.

“Where?” Flynn asked. Jake’s face fell.

“He didn’t tell us…” 

“How are we supposed to have any idea where he might be going? We don’t know anything like that about him!” Eve exclaimed, fresh panic rising up. Jake opened and closed his mouth, but another voice cut through their tension.

“Hawaii. He’s going to Hawaii.” Cassandra said, and they all jumped. They hadn’t heard the front door open. 

“Cassandra? What are you doing here?” Flynn asked.

“I snuck out. Didn’t want to bother arguing with my parents. But that doesn’t matter, he’s going to Hawaii.” She said, marching over to stand in their circle. Jake’s eyes widened as she approached, and he slapped his hands together, pointing to her energetically.

“She’s right, fuck! Of course!” He exclaimed in excitement. 

Eve furrowed her brows.” Wait, what? Why? How do you know that?” 

“It’s where his mother and his aunt always wanted to move, where they used to go all the time. He has pictures of them in Hawaii, they’re the only pictures of his mother I think that he has. If he’s going anywhere, that’s my best bet. Maybe she’s there? Or maybe his aunt is there? Maybe he just really wants to go to Hawaii because it’s become so immortalized in his mind?” Cassandra explained. 

Eve’s heart panged at that explanation, but her jaw clenched. “But Ezekiel has a history of evasive maneuvers. When he left the Reynolds, he took a bus line, and he bought tickets for a far away town, but then snuck off the bus at an earlier stop so that the paper trail would throw them off. He’s smart. And he opened up to us, so he’s not going to take his chances being direct if there’s a chance we know where he’s going. He could be anywhere up and down the West Coast! Not to mention, that’s a long term goal, but we have no idea how long it will take him to get there!” She exclaimed. Everyone exchanged tired looks, their one spark of hope quickly drowned out by the impossibility of their situation.

“We’ll find him, Eve. We have to.” Jake said softly. 

\---------------

Eve spent the next two days looking as much into Ezekiel’s files as possible, and looking through everything he’d left behind. Searching desperately, for anything. Flynn spent all of it with her, half helping her and half trying to take care of her. She wouldn’t eat, or sleep, no matter what he did. Jake, Cassandra and Tom kept calling and texting him, and trying to contact him through any of the rest of his social media. But it was all dead. 

Finally, a lead came in, when a truck down the street was reported stolen, and then the license plate was found in a trashcan in a town just outside San Francisco.

“He’s already in California!” Eve exclaimed.

“Well, San Francisco is only ten hours away. He’s probably way past that by now, assuming he’s still moving south.” Flynn said. 

Eve stood, and grabbed her keys, laptop and her gun, before heading out the door of her office with no word of explanation. Flynn chased after her, as she swiftly headed for the front door.

“Eve, where are you going?” He asked.

“San Francisco.” She replied, as if it was obvious. Flynn was forced to chase her down the porch steps, running a nervous hand through his hair.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to -” He started to say, but she stopped and whirled on him, causing them to come to skidding halt.

“To what? Go after my fucking kid?” She demanded, eyes blazing. Flynn swallowed.

“Foster kid.” He corrected, and then regretted it. She rose up, seeming to tower over him.

“I love him. I may not have given birth to him but I- I care about him more than I think i’ve ever cared about anyone. And obviously, I didn’t tell him that enough, I didn’t get that sentiment through. And _when_ I find him, I won’t make that mistake again. I’ll call you when I get there.” She said with conviction and venom all at once. Flynn swallowed, watching her pull out of the driveway and disappear down the road. No plan, going God knows where, chasing after a ghost. But who knew, maybe she would find him. Maybe she was the necromancer she seemed to imagine.

If anyone could catch smoke, it would be Eve Baird.

\--------------

Ezekiel stood in a gas station bathroom, glaring himself down in the mirror. Small changes in appearance did wonders, when trying to disappear. He pulled off the flat bill hat he’d been wearing, and mussed his hair up. It wasn’t long, but it wasn’t short. It was black and straight, coming down just around his ears and eyebrows. He’d been thinking about a hair cut for a while, so he supposed this killed two birds with one stone. He plugged the electric trimmer he’d stolen into the outlet, and as it started to whir, he tipped his head forward, bringing it up behind his head.

About twenty minutes later, he was inspecting the undercut in the bathroom mirror. He’d cut his hair before, it was nothing new. And he hadn’t gone that overboard, nothing extreme. Just taken a bit off the sides. Once he was satisfied, he haphazardly cleaned up the clippings and shoved the trimers into his bag. 

He had stopped in some town off the Monterey Bay. He’d been driving for days now, and had made it a good ways down the coast, sleeping occasionally at rest stops. It was a beautiful drive, and he’d made a good haul of stealing whatever he wanted in every few towns he stopped at. After ditching the truck’s license plate, it had been easy to find somewhere in the grandiose town of San Francisco who could sell him a less than legal replacement, so he wouldn’t be driving down the road with no license plate. It was almost funny, how easy it was for Ezekiel to find people of his caliber wherever he went. Birds of a feather, he supposed.

Throughout his trip, he had shut himself down, focusing only on getting from point A to B. He did his best to shove away the tsunami of emotions calling his name. His insides felt numb, and his head felt like he was half awake. Just get to where he was going. Steal some stuff, to take his mind off of the numb feeling. Keep his eyes out for cops, enjoy the radio and the scenery. Try not to think about how much he’d loved them, how worthless he was, how much he wanted to just die already. 

If he did, it wasn’t like anyone would notice. And that alone kept Ezekiel from considering the feelings too much. A certain stubbornness remained in him, an anger at his situation, himself included. He couldn’t let it end up so mediocre. At the very least, if he did die, he’d have to die some super awesome way. Something news worthy. For heaven’s sake, if he was doomed to live a meaningless life, he better have a meaningful death one day. 

But that day, it wasn’t today, or any day soon. Because despite the misery and agony that seemed to make up every fiber of his being at this point, there was still a spark of hope. A tiny flicker, that he barely dared believe in. 

It was a child’s dream, with no real foundation. The vague, idealistic hope that maybe if he chased the setting sun across the sea, he’d find someone who would made him feel like he was real. It would probably only leave him farther disappointed, he knew, but that little boy’s dream was all he had left. And it was easy to rationalize, the actions that he was taking to follow that dream weren’t entirely pointless. Even if he did get there, and he couldn’t find his mother or Rain, well, he’d still be in an island paradise with lots of other people trying to escape their lives. Lots of dumb, rich tourists to steal from. 

He’d let himself get distracted by shiny, new dreams. Dreams that had been too good to be true. He’d let himself believe in them, fully, even if only for a moment. But that moment was enough to shatter him, just as he’d felt like maybe he was coming back together. 

Everytime he started to think about it, it threatened to overwhelm him, and he shoved it away. He just had to forget it, forget them. Leave that all behind. It didn’t matter anymore, it had been a mistake. One he wouldn’t make again.

Despite his efforts, those emotions still got the better of him, and he cried himself to sleep every time he stopped to rest. Often, he was tempted to turn his phone on, but he didn’t. He didn’t even know why he’d kept it, he would need to get a new one anyways. He supposed it was in the same boat as the damned flash drive. He just couldn’t seem to let them go.

He’d been tempted to turn his phone on to use Google Maps, but instead he’d stolen a California atlas. According to it, he had about six more hours to go until Los Angeles. He figured he’d hang out there, see the sights, steal, get acquainted with the rampant criminal underground. All taking some time to gather himself, and plan a way to get on a boat to Hawaii. And after that, well...he tried to tell himself that Hawaii was the last stop. The ideal place to stop running. But he knew, deep down, that was a false hope. He’d move again, he’d keep moving around. Forever. Alone, never settling down. Invisible. Meaningless. 

His knuckles tightened on the steering wheel, and he tried to focus on whatever pop song was playing, instead of the darkness knocking on the door of his mind. He didn’t have time for that, he had to _focus_. 

\------------------

“Ma’am, I understand you’re credentials and I have the upmost respect for you, but we’re very busy-” The short haired cop told her, sipping her coffee as she walked in the direction of her precinct.

“Please, Captain Nell. You seem like a good person, I just need a little bit of help. And...a little bit of discretion.” Eve was practically begging, dogging after her heels.

“For one thing, we’re next to one of the biggest cities on the coast, we’ve got enough problems without stopping everything to look into a stolen vehicle from another state. I’ll send a beat cop out on it once things settle down.” The Captain told her curtly. Eve finally stepped in front of her, forcing her to stop. The woman stiffened, glaring her up and down. Eve took a deep breath.

“That’s actually what I need. I need you to...forget about this case. I’ve already asked my own people to leave it to me.” She said.

“The vehicle is in my state, Officer - Baird, was it? Now, I don’t know what kind of cop you think I am, but I uphold protocol-” She started to declare.

“Do you have children?” Eve cut in. The woman blinked.

“Yes, I do. I don’t see what that has to do with anything.” She replied.

“I’m not just appealing to you as a police officer, i’m appealing to you as a person, and as a mother. The person who borrowed that truck, he’s not a criminal. He’s just a scared little boy, who i’m trying to help.” Eve said softly. 

“Is he your son?” Nell asked suspiciously.

“Foster son. Hopefully, soon, I was...I was going to adopt him.” Eve admitted, something she hadn’t told anyone yet. “But - I just found out that some very bad people abused him, and those people came back, and he ran off. I have to find him before anyone else does, or it will end very, very badly. Please. I know I can find him, and bring the truck and him back just fine. I talked to the owners on the phone, they’ve given me a week to find it. Please. You seem like a smart woman, a smart cop. You want to do what’s right. You know as well as I do that protocol isn’t always right.” Eve implored her, bearing her soul to this woman, searching for a connection. Anything.

Captain Nell looked her up and down, sucking in her cheeks and pursing her lips. She had hard eyes, that considered her, weighing the situation. “Fine. I’ll forget about the issue for a week. You better find that stolen property and that runaway.” She decided. Eve smiled in relief, and then winced slightly.

“Actually, uh, there’s one more thing...where was the liscence plate found?” Eve asked.

“Outside a truck stop, in a dumpster.” The woman replied.

“...is there any video camera footage?” Eve asked. Nell rolled her eyes.

“Fine. But can we look into it inside, please? I’m not a fan of loitering on the sidewalk in ninety degree weather.”

\--------------------------------

Los Angeles was as crowded, hot, and tourist heavy as the television promised. He ditched the truck in the worst looking neighborhood he could find, and left it unlocked. It’d be in a scrap shop by the end of the day. Hopefully, a good one, and he wouldn’t be tracked down through it. Then he took a bus to the more famous part of town, and spent a few hours hanging around and seeing the sights. He thought about turning on his phone to take selfies, but that would be stupid. 

As his day of wandering and sight seeing drew to a close, he caught a taxi, paying with it from cash he’d pick pocketed throughout the day. 

“Where you want to go, kid?” The man asked, wearing a beanie and a fashionable scarf, despite the heat. Westerners were weird.

“The beach.” Ezekiel replied. The man turned, frowning at him through his beard.

“In the middle of the winter?” He asked. Ezekiel nodded. 

“Alright then, which one?” He inquired, pulling back into traffic. Ezekiel shrugged.

“The closest one.” 

“That’d be Santa Monica. The one you see in all the movies. Not many people there right now though, but still, a good crowd.” The man explained. 

“Why would they still go to the beach in the winter?” Ezekiel asked. 

“You’re doing it right now.” 

“I’ve got my reasons. What reasons would they have?” Ezekiel huffed. The man just laughed. 

“Because it’s always summer in California, my friend. You think this is hot for winter? This shit is like the ice age compared to the summer. But you probably wouldn’t get it, isn’t Europe like, really cold?” The man asked, referring to his accent. Ezekiel raised an eyebrow, put off.

“I’m from Australia.” He said, in an annoyed tone. The driver didn’t seem to think much of it.

“My bad, Crocodile Dundee.” 

The rest of the ride was thankfully silent, with no condescending remarks from young Gandalf. He finally dropped Ezekiel off by the beach, and Ezekiel did not tip him. He sped off rather rudely after that, but Ezekiel didn’t care. He was too consumed by the sight before him.

The ocean itself was a familiar sight, rolling forever into the horizon until it merged with the burning sky. But this time, the sun was _setting_. It was already starting to dip into the line of the sea, spilling golden blood across it’s surface. 

When he’d first come to America, he’d come for a few reasons, but mostly because he knew Hawaii was in America. Besides that, he really hadn’t had a grasp on geography. It was embarrassing to look back on, because now he knew that Australia was closer to Hawaii than New York. But, all’s well that ends well. Couldn’t take it back now. 

He headed onto the beach, the soft white sand shifting underneath his converse shoes. He stuck his hands in his pockets. It was colder on the beach, the wind whipped off the water and gave birth to a constant, cold breeze. The beach seemed to wind on forever, pale and dotted with people. People walking their dogs, jogging, reading, surfing. Not as many as you saw in bird’s eye views in all those action films, though. Where he was, there was only one other person nearby, sitting in a dune with his head tipped back, and a hat on top of his face. Sleeping in the sand. Looked comfortable, if exposing. 

The smell of salt hit his nose, and he breath in deep, relishing the direct heat that a few uninterrupted rays of sunlight touched him with. The clouds were smeared with the essence of the day, red and orange, and hard to look right at. Ezekiel stopped a little over halfway across the beach, closer to the water than to the streets, but not by much. He didn’t need to get super close. He just wanted to look, and listen. 

He sat down in the sand, sticking his heels into it and leaning forward against his thighs, crossing his arms over his knees. He rested his chin on the crossover of his arms, gazing out into the endless light of the west. A light that was so far away, so brilliant, so massive, that the horizon almost seemed to melt into it, an endless vat of light so intense it was tangible. 

The sound of the sea was as familiar as the pain in his heart. A feeling he had bore with him, since he was old enough to comprehend how alone he was. Which hadn’t been very old at all. If there was one thing a child could grasp, it was the presence of others. The presence of the mother was probably the first piece of reality people experienced. 

People always had such interesting bonds with their parents. They loved them, but they drove them crazy, but they still wanted to go shopping and spend holidays with them? They saw each other, knew each other. Talked to each other. Parents raised their children and they tried their best to protect them, to educate them. Everything seemed to be children this, and children that.  
It seemed to him that family meant people who you were related to, that loved you despite your flaws. Even if you were a murderer. Families on the news always seemed to care so much, even if their kid had slaughtered like, twelve orphans or something equally as messed up. That seemed such a strange concept, that genetic relation required unconditional love. Even for people who didn’t deserve love. 

But he didn’t have any genetic relations. That ship had sailed for him. He had to earn his love. People who aren’t your blood aren’t going to love you if you don’t deserve it. 

Ezekiel frowned to himself, really thinking about everything he’d seen and heard. But...was that really true? Adopted kids seemed just as exempt of any of their mistakes counting against them, when it came to the love department. TV these days never seemed to have blood families, it was always people who weren’t related _deciding_ to be a family. But that was different. Those people deserved love. But then again, that was also fantasies and TV Shows. Maybe not the best thing to base his philosophical wonderings on. Or, maybe, it was. He had no idea, really, he wasn’t the smart one. That much was obvious.

This thought brought him back to the Reynolds, mind flashing to the dinner, and the things they’d said right in front of everybody. Not to say they weren’t true, but, still...it had been mortifying.

God, not as mortifying as Cassandra seeing _that_. By that he meant the encounter wherein John had ripped down all the lies Ezekiel had convinced himself of, the single moment that ruined any chance at happiness that he ever had - 

Ezekiel squeezed his eyes shut against the burning light of a half drowned sun, burying his head in his arms. His heart hurt so bad, he could barely breath. Tears pushed past his clenched eyelids. He just couldn’t bear it anymore, now that he wasn’t on the run the numb feeling was wearing off. It all crashed down on him, in the same rhythm as the waves.

He didn’t belong anywhere. He never would, even in Hawaii. He knew his mother wasn’t there, and Rain probably wasn’t either. He knew, but....still. 

God, why had he let himself fall for it again? He’d sworn to himself, he wouldn’t fall into a false sense of hope again. It hurt so bad, now more than ever, like his very soul was being ripped out of his body. It was an ache so deep, something inside him hurt that he’d never felt at all before. 

He shouldn’t feel like this! He should have known better! God, why was he so _stupid_? 

_Because you aren’t real._ A voice that sounded suspiciously like John’s whispered. It was a fact that was repeated and echoed into his mind on a near constant basis. But this time...the feeling gave him pause. Something inside of him responded to it, that aching feeling way down in his core. They seemed to contradict, and Ezekiel felt a sensation he’d never known before. 

He shook his head, pushing the confusing feelings down. Instead, he tried to distract himself with business. He was in Hollywood, for god’s sake. What was he going to steal first? Something big, something glamorous...it had been so long since he’d stolen something good. 

As his mind recalled his last big job, his mind also recalled all the petty theft while he’d been in Oregon. Fun stuff, nothing big, just to keep him…

Ezekiel stopped, and sat up, lifting his head. He blinked away his tears, furrowing his brow. He could feel his heartbeat in the pit of his stomach. When had he stolen, last? Before he’d run?

The last he could remember was booze for Tom and them. But that had been what, weeks ago? He had to have stolen after that, why couldn’t he remember? His eyes widened, and he shook his head. It wasn’t possible. He couldn’t go a few days without stealing. How had he gone _weeks_ , and felt just fine? It didn’t make any sense. He’d suffered beating after beating after beating, because he could never bear to stop stealing. 

Ezekiel reached to run his hands through his hair, distress turning his blood to ice. It couldn’t be. It didn’t make any sense. 

The only thing different in those two weeks, compared to the rest of his life…

The most jarring revelation of his entire existence sprang forth, crashing through his mind and bleeding out of his heart, staining everything red as he stopped breathing, and the world itself seemed to cease spinning.

He’d forgotten to steal, because he hadn’t needed to. He’d gone weeks, and not started to feel like he wasn’t real, he had never started to slip into that horrible, numb place...because he hadn’t needed to steal to make himself feel substantial. He hadn’t needed to steal, because...because of them. Eve, Cassandra, and Jake. Maybe even Tom and Flynn and them...they all made him feel...like he was _real_. 

As he reeled over this revelation, he felt his heart break clean down the middle. And then, something terribly wonderful happened. A feeling blossomed out, spreading through his chest and filling up that huge hollow spot inside of him. But it was not entirely pleasant, it was ...pain. It was an ache, so deep it filled up every empty part of him. Pressure pouring into his soul, squeezing his heart back together painfully. It was an unfamiliar emotion, something he’d never come close to before. 

Regardless, it took him seconds to understand. It was homesickness. He has homesick. Because he had a _home_.

He finally had a home, people who loved him, and would never hurt him. People he’d wanted to be better for. And he’d left it, he’d run away! All because he’d let John get in his head. John didn’t know those people like Ezekiel did. They wouldn’t forget him...if they made him feel real, how could they ever see him as anything else? 

Oh, god. He’d made a horrible mistake. He scrambled to stand up. He needed to get back to his hotel room, to his dufflebag, to his phone. He needed to call them, he needed to beg for their forgiveness. He prayed to every deity ever prayed to, that he hadn’t screwed this up completely.  
He turned towards the streets, towards the towering city lights. He broke into a desperate run, feet kicking up the sand as he drove forward. His heart was pounding, vision tinged with a desperation he’d never known. 

And for the first time in his life, he was running _towards_ something, instead of away.

\-------------

He made it back to the hotel room in a blur, and dove towards his bag, ripping through it till he found his phone. He waited breathlessly as it turned on, the screen lighting up before fading into his lock screen. Before he could even swipe it to the right, before his eyes, notifications rolled by at the speed of light. 

As he thumbed through them, reading them more carefully, all his fears about the others not wanting him back melted away. Texts from Cassandra, Eve, Jake, even an angry Tom. All begging, pleading, demanding he come back. God, he wished he’d turned his phone on sooner. 

He abandoned reading all the messages, to unlock the phone and pull up speed dial. He hit Eve’s number, which was three, and nervously brought the phone up to his ear. As it started to ring, he sat down on the edge of the bed, running a shaky hand through his hair. He had never been so nervous in his whole life. 

Miles away, Eve Baird was stopped at a motel for the night, staring blankly down at a microwaved meal, making no move to eat it. She was pulled out of her thoughts when her phone rang. She grabbed it off the bed, expecting Flynn. But the screen read _Ezekiel_ , and she almost dropped the device in shock. Catching it, she slammed the answer button and practically clocked herself in the head bringing it to her ear.

“Ezekiel?!” She exclaimed, almost too afraid to hope. “Is that you? Are you okay?” She asked desperately.

Ezekiel’s heart seized at the sound of her voice, and her tone of concern. He swallowed the tightness in his throat. He balled his free hand into a fist, taking a deep breath. First and foremost, he needed answers.

“You stole my flash drive.” He said, trying to keep his voice even. He stared at the wall in front of him, the patterns of the paper swirling in front of him as he waiting for an answer to a question he hadn’t even asked.

“I’m not sorry, I know it was invading your privacy but there are things that are bigger than that. I was just trying to help, I just want to help you, Ezekiel, I swear. I’m so sorry they hurt you and I swear to god I’ll make them pay, I will, I’ll never let anyone lay a hand on you again, please, just tell me where you are and we can go home and I swear i’ll never hurt you, ever-” Eve was talking at a mile a minute, and the more she said, the more he felt all his walls start to crumble down. Before he knew it, he was cutting her off with a choked sob. He put a hand over his mouth, eyes overflowing with hot tears.

Towns and towns over, Eve sat back in her chair, blinking. “Oh my god, are you _crying_?” She asked in shock. 

“I’m sorry, i’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have left, I’m sorry.” He finally managed to force out, after taking another deep breath. He closed his eyes, and let the simplest truth break free.

“I want to come home.” He breathed, wiping his tears away.

As those words came over the receiver on Eve’s end, she felt as if the whole world had stopped. Holy shit. She had done it. She’d given him a home, they were his home, he wanted to come _home_.

“You have nothing to be sorry about, sweetie. It’s all going to be okay.” She said, her own eyes pricking with tears. “It’s all going to be okay.”

For the first time in his life, Ezekiel let himself really, truly, completely believe it.


	31. sensory depravation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezekiel and Eve reunite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for threats of sexual violence, and normal active violence.

Eve and Ezekiel had agreed on a notable location to meet the next day. After telling him to get some sleep and meet her there in the morning, she promptly left her motel and drove through the night to get to LA as early as possible. Then, she parked in the best parking spot she could find in front of the giant shopping mall, and waited. Once it hit about eight in the morning, her eyes caught a familiar head weaving through the crowds on the sidewalk, hunched over, a duffle bag over his shoulder. Her heart skipped a beat, and her throat closed as she noticed the all new clothes, and new haircut. Classic steps to avoiding recognition. He’d really been ready to disappear completely. But he hadn’t, he’d changed his mind on his own, he’d called _her_.

She got out of the car, shutting the door and walking around the front. She leaned against it while she waited for him to emerge from the crowd. When he finally broke free into the more open space in front of the mall, his eyes moved up to meet hers. They were red from crying. Had he stopped at all since the conversation last night? Her gut twisted and heaved and cried out to hold him and tell him how much she loved him. She took a step forward, and her arms moved in his direction on their own, before she stopped herself. Her breath caught in her throat and she came back to herself, freezing and pulling herself back. The last thing he needed was sudden movement and touching. He wasn’t the hugging type, anyways.

Ezekiel saw her, and felt a million things all at once. He watched her move forward, freeze, and then step back as if regretting it. He understood. It was insane to him, thinking about it in an objective way. How well he knew what she was thinking right now. He wondered if she could tell the same. He swallowed, part of him agreeing with her silent body language. Touch was bad, people were bad. An instinct learned. Could it be unlearned, then? At the very least, it could be ignored, because the other part of him was screaming louder, that overwhelming ache that plagued every part of him. It rose up like a riptide, drowning out every other thought. He felt his arm let go of the bag, forgotten as it slipped from his shoulder so he could move forward. Free of the baggage, if only for now, he ran forward, jumping over the parking barrier so the wave could crash into the shore. They stumbled slightly together, as he fell into her, wrapping his arms around her and burying his head in her shoulder. She was too shocked to respond for a beat of her heart, before she squeezed him tight, eyes filling with tears. Both of their hearts rioted the same rhythm, warmth blooming between them. As they held each other tight, barely able to breath with the fury of it, all the cold darkness inside them melted away.

“I thought I’d lost you.” She said, voice breaking.

“I’m so sorry…” He practically sobbed into her shoulder, not surprised to feel more tears forcing their way out. He’d been trying all night and morning to stop crying, he’d never been a crier. He supposed now he was making up for a lifetime of holding it in.

Eve shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut and pressing a kiss to the side of his head, squeezing him a little tighter. “Don’t be sorry kiddo, it’s okay, it’s okay…” She said breathlessly, relishing the embrace, the weight of the world lifting off of her shoulders. She was never going to let him go again.

Finally, they pulled away, and Eve reached out to wipe the boy’s tears away, smiling at him brightly through her own. Then she let her hands cup his face, and both of their souls cried out in harmony.

“Let’s go home.” She said softly, and the tension fell away from his frame, _home_.

They went back to retrieve his bag, which he put in the backseat after he got into the passenger side of her car. The car smelled like coffee and the cookie dough scented air freshener hanging from the mirror. It was familiar, in a way he had taken for granted. He took a moment to breath it in as Eve buckled herself in, before doing the same.

“So, first order of business,” Eve announced, turning to him. He swallowed. “Where’s that truck you stole?” She asked.

Ezekiel’s eyes widened, and then he winced in remorse. He looked down at his lap.

“Uh...probably in pieces by now, sorry. I left it to get stolen. Figured someone would pick it up soon and have it through a scrap shop before the day was out.” He explained, reaching to rub the back of his neck. Eve sighed heavily.

  
“I promised the Lees i’d get it back...I guess i’ll have to pay for a replacement.” Eve said, reaching to put her keys in the ignition. Guilt twisted like a knife in Ezekiel’s gut.

“No, I can pay. I can get money.” Ezekiel insisted, near desperate to make up for his mistakes. Eve looked over at him, and quirked an eyebrow.

“How, by stealing other people’s stuff and selling it? No, I don’t think so. No more of that.” She said, sternly. Ezekiel looked at her, and that big hollowed out space deep down in his core started to tremble, starting to collapse in on itself. He sat back in his seat, and nodded.

“Okay. No more stealing.” He said. Eve blinked, eyes widening. She just stared at him for a minute, as if waiting for the punchline to a joke.

“ _What?_ ” She exclaimed, taken aback. He looked up at her, with the most even expression he could muster, swallowing past a lump in his throat.

“I mean it. No more stealing. I promise. Besides, I don’t need to anymore.” He told her, earnestly. Her expression softened, one of awe and of confusion.

“What does that mean?” She asked. Ezekiel looked away from her, rubbing his thumb along the seam of his glove.

“It’s a long story.” He said, mind both surging and recoiling at the thought of opening up.

“Well, we have a long drive.” Eve said, as she started the car and pulled into the busy street. Ezekiel cracked a half assed smile, sparing on goodbye to the lights of LA before he turned to keep his eyes trained on the woman next to him.

“Yeah, I guess we do.” He agreed.

\-----------

_Ezekiel kept track of how many days went by, based on when Maria brought him food and let him go to the bathroom once a day. But when she did, she entered the closet first, closing it behind her and then forcing Ezekiel to put a pair of handcuffs, along with a heavy blindfold she carried. That was the only glimpse of color and light he ever got, and it was always gone so fast. Swallowed up by the darkness, smothered by her soft kisses and harsh hands._

_”The world,” She explained on what he was pretty sure was the seventh day. “Is real, and it is hard, and it is beautiful. But the real world is for real people, Ezekiel. It’s time to really start thinking about what you want. Until then, you will stay in the dark.” No amount of begging got anywhere with her, no amount of crying or yelling. The door was firm, he’d beat himself half unconscious flinging himself against it before he finally abandoned the pursuit. At the very least, she always took the handcuffs and blindfold off when she put him back in the closet._

_Days turned into weeks. A few times, at the start, he’d tried to make a break for it every time she pulled him into the hallway. Each time, he was on the floor with her nails digging into his throat in a matter of seconds. She may be a doctor, but she was not always gentle. And every time he tried to make a break for it, the food was taken away. Eventually, he realized the attempts were fruitless. Not as long as she put those cuffs and that blindfold on him, not to mention how weak he could feel himself growing. Once he stopped, the food returned, but somehow it only made him sicker._

_After he gave up on the door and trying to make a run for it, the only thing he had left to do was scream. He screamed as loudly as he could, letting his agony and hopelessness tear up his throat and burn his eyes. He screamed over and over, until it was hard to breath, as often as he could stand. His mind explained to him that maybe, at some point, someone would be over at the house or passing by, and they’d hear him. But really, deep down, it was just a release. A last ditch effort to fight the darkness, to push away the numb silence. If he made sound, he was real, right? Pain stopped hurting, his head grew cloudier and cloudier each day. With nothing to see or touch, nothing to steal, nothing but darkness...screaming was the only way to stop the numbness from reaching his heart._

\---------------

There was silence for the first part of the drive, while Eve focused on navigating LA traffic. Once they got out of the city, and the buildings got smaller and sparser, the tension between them had room to breathe. And from that breath, came the inevitable.

“So, what made you change your mind?” Eve finally asked. Ezekiel couldn’t bear to look anywhere but down at his lap.

“I…” How to put it into words? “...the good things outweighed the fear, I guess.”

“You’re afraid of me? Of us?” Eve asked, heart aching at his words. She tried to keep her eyes on the road, but the gravity of the conversation kept pulling them to glance at Ezekiel. “You know we’d never hurt you.” She reminded him. He nodded.

“I know. You’d never hit me, or be mean to me. That was the problem.” He confessed. Eve whipped to look at him fully at that, so surprised she almost hit the brake before she stopped herself. Ezekiel clenched his jaw, fully aware of her shocked gaze, but he didn’t raise his head.

“Why? Do you really think you deserve it?” She asked, dragging her eyes back to the road, gut twisting in fear of his response.

“It’s more complicated than that. Even if I don’t...even if you’re right and I don’t deserve it, it’s...not just about whether I deserve it. They were helping me.” Ezekiel struggled to say, throat constricting against the openness.

Eve swallowed, and her eyes burned. “Did the Reynolds tell you that?” She asked, trying to keep her voice even. Ezekiel closed his eyes at the name.

“Not exactly.” He attempted softly. Eve swallowed again against the anger in her throat.

“Ezekiel, you’re going to have to tell me what they did to you.” She stated. Ezekiel curled his fingers into his jeans, holding on to them as if grounding himself. He turned his head away a little, opening them to focus on the landscape moving past them.

“I know. But … can that part wait, please? I just-” He felt his voice crack, and winced.

“Of course. You don’t have to tell me right now. We don’t have to talk about any of this right now, if you want. But we will talk have to talk about it eventually.” She said sincerely.

“Okay.” He said, nodding. There was a beat of silence.

“But, there is something we should talk about.” Eve said, and her face split into a nervous smile. Ezekiel finally managed to look over and meet her eyes, his own still red. He cocked an eyebrow.

“What?” He asked, apprehensively

“How do you feel about adoption?” She asked, and then held her breath. Ezekiel frowned in confusion.

“What about it?” He asked, not understanding.

“...what do you think of the idea?” She asked slowly, hoping he’d pick up the hint.

“What idea?” He asked. Eve rolled her eyes.

“The idea of me adopting you, Jones!” She finally huffed.

Ezekiel stared at her for a minute. And then another minute. His jaw slowly fell open, and every time she glanced over his eyes seemed wider. She started to become concerned.

“Are you alright? Jones, you still with me?” She asked. Ezekiel blinked, and then stared down at his hands, eyes still wide. The blood had drained from his face.

“You’re joking.” He whispered, almost to himself.

“No, i’m not. I love you. I already think about you as my son. I want to be your mother, I don’t ever want to let you go. I love you, I really do.” She said earnestly, sparing more and more glances his way as they cruised down the freeway. He slowly closed his mouth as he drank in her words, unmoving as he visibly swallowed. And then his face slowly screwed up, and he brought his gloved hands to cover the lower half of his mouth. He hunched over slowly as he started to sob, eyes squeezed closed against the tears. Eve’s heart broke, and she whipped back and forth between him and he road, not sure what to do.

“Oh, kiddo…” Was all she could say, feeling her chest constrict. She just wanted to wrap her arms around him. He continued to cry, choked off sobs that he was trying his hardest to stop. Luckily, she immediately spotted an upcoming exit. She hit the gas and pulled into the off lane, speeding down it until it let off into a suburban street, and pulled over to the curb as soon as she could. As the car turned off, Ezekiel was hunched so far over his head was resting on his knees, face entirely covered with his hands as he shook. He looked so small, and fragile, like he was going to shatter at any second. Eve was out of the car and ripping open the passenger door before she could even blink, crouching down and wrapping her arms around him, half hanging off the curb.

Ezekiel hiccuped as he tried to pull himself up, tears streaming down his face as he struggled to unbuckle himself. As soon as he did, her turned to face her fully, leaning to wrap his arms around her .His fingers curled into the back of her jacket, holding onto her for dear life. She put one foot down to the street so she could lean in further, squeezing him tightly before reaching an arm up to cup his head.

He cried into her shoulder for a while, shaking as he struggled to get control over the ugly noises he was making. Her jacket was soaked with tears, but she didn’t care. They pricked her own eyes, but she blinked them back. She needed to stay strong, she couldn’t break down. Ezekiel was just a kid, who had been strong for too long. He was the one that needed to fall apart, and Eve was the one who had to take care of him and protect him while he did. Eve was the one who had to be strong, so that he didn’t have to be. Her heart felt like it was being run over by a tractor.

Finally, Ezekiel slowly quieted, and pulled himself up. He looked down at her, sniffling as he wiped his face on his sleeve. Eve’s stomach turned as her eyes fell on his hand, covered in that familiar glove. But now she knew what was under it, and her heart pulsed painfully.

“You really want me?” He asked, in a small voice. He felt like he was stripped bare to the bone, he felt like he was a little kid again, asking his own father to be seen.

“Of course. With everything I have.” She said, reaching to cup his face. He reached to cup the back of her hand, nestling it between his own palm and his cheek. It’s warmth spread through his tear stung skin, making him close his eyes and breath for a moment. He was real, he was alive, his heart was beating so hard he felt it was going to flood him any moment. The ache of every breath echoed through him, reverberating across that hollow, cold place down deep.

“Forever?” He questioned.

“Forever. I promise.” She replied instantly. He bit his lip, and let his hand fall down, pulling hers away from his face. He swallowed, still holding onto her hand as he looked at the empty space between them instead of at her.

“I don’t think you should make that promise. Not yet.” He said, levely. She frowned, shaking her head.

“No, I don’t need to wait.” She denied. He looked back up at her, with the raw edge of hesitation in his gaze.

“I-I want that, I want you to, I’d love that. But…” He stopped, swallowing.

“But?” Eve asked.

“Saying for sure, uh, can that...wait? Until I’ve told you everything. Then you can know if you’re sure.” He explained. She pursed her lips.

“I won’t change my mind, no matter what you tell me.” She declared. He pleaded with her through his eyes, and she sighed.

“But, I guess, we won’t make any final decisions until you feel ready.” She concurred. He sagged with relief.

“We, should, uh, probably get back on the road…” He said awkwardly, after a moment of silent hand holding. She blinked, and then nodded, standing up.

They pulled back onto the freeway, and then the tense silence returned. Now with added layers. Ezekiel spent a good hour turned entirely to the window, while Eve turned the radio on softly and focused on her own thoughts. She was pulled out of them just as the soon was highest in the sky.

“Would I change my last name to Baird?” Ezekiel asked out of the blue, turning to her. She was surprised by any noise at all, and it took her a moment to process what he said.

“Well, only if you want to. You can keep Jones, that’s up to you.” She said. Ezekiel pushed a hand through his hair, and gave her an ironic smile as he leaned back in his seat a little.

“Wanna know a secret?” He asked, in a playful tone.

“Sure.” She replied.

“Jones isn’t my real name.” He admitted, grinning. She looked over at him, and then shook her head.

“Wait, what? It’s not?” She asked, bewildered.

“Nope!” He said smugly, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Just the first last name I could think of, when the cops arrested me the first time.” He explained.

“Then what’s your real name?” Eve asked in disbelief. Ezekiel’s face slowly fell, and the glint receded into a dark fog. He look down at his lap, shrugging.

“I don’t know.” He said.

“You...don’t know your last name? How can you not know your last name?” She asked, hoping she didn’t sound too insensitive.

Ezekiel crossed his arms. He chewed the inside of his cheek, considering his options. She’d said they didn’t need to talk about things right now, but…

“I need to tell you something, but...you need to promise you won’t try and put me in a nuthouse or something, okay?” He asked, turning to look at her with fear in his eyes. Her face screwed up in concern.

“I wouldn’t do that to you, but I don’t understand what you mean.” She said slowly. He took a breath, shaking his head.

“There’s something wrong with me. There always has been. I mean, there’s probably a lot of things wrong with me, but, I mean, this is like...I don’t know how to explain it. But I know it’s not normal.” He sighed. Eve remained neutral looking as she listened. He took another breath, tilting his head as he carried on.

“I didn’t know my parents. Never even met my mother, that I can remember.” He said.

“Is she…?” Eve dared to question. Ezekiel shrugged, staring out the window.

“Dead? Probably. I always...I think she is. Nobody would ever tell me. But...deep down I always knew. I think it was the way Rain talked about her. Rain was my parents friend, my aunt. She was...the only person who ever took care of me.” He explained.

“And she was...a sex worker?” Eve asked, trying to put it nicely.

“Yeah. So was my mother, and my father.” Ezekiel said, an edge of unpleasantness to his tone. Eve’s eyebrows shot up.

“Really? Your father too?” She asked in amazement.

“Yup. Son of whores.”

“There’s nothing wrong with...well, there is, but not in the way society says.” Eve said, trying to reassure him. Ezekiel nodded.

“Yeah, I figured that out eventually. Took me a while to figure out anything, because nobody taught me anything. I was pretty much raised by TV and occasionally Rain. She couldn’t be there all the time. I think she was there more often, when I was a baby, or there’s no way i’d be alive... when she was there, she tried her best, but...there was only so much she could do.” He said.

“So you were alone?” She asked. He shook his head, turning to look at the console between them.

“No. My father was there a lot, he only worked once or twice a day. We lived in the basement of his pimp’s place, so, even then it wasn’t far. But I wasn’t allowed upstairs, and nobody ever really came down stairs. So, he was there....he just wasn’t… _there_.” Ezekiel’s voice drew out, halting around the painful memories.

Eve’s eyebrows furrowed. “What’s that mean?”

“He...never talked to me. Ever. He didn’t pay attention to me, to anything but when he had to go upstairs. He didn’t even hear me, I don’t think. He didn’t see me, didn’t ever acknowledge I even existed. I only knew he was my dad because Rain told me. He was...he wasn’t alive, on the inside. He wasn’t a person, he was just a shell. He only knew how to go through the motions, do what people told him. But never me. He never heard me. I didn’t exist to him. I didn’t go to school, I didn’t go out, I barely ate, the people upstairs didn’t care if I died or not. All I knew about the world came from watching the TV, and what Rain told me. And when Rain stopped coming...I didn’t exist to anyone.” Ezekiel whispered, words echoing with a pain he’d carried his whole life.

Eve felt her gut falling out of her, her heart following. She gaped at the road ahead of her, opening and closing her mouth in the moment of silence.

“I’m...god, that’s awful. I’m so sorry. Nobody should have to grow up under those conditions. I can’t imagine what that felt like.” She replied.

“It felt like I wasn’t real.” He said, as if disclosing some terrible truth. “I’m not. I wasn’t. And I started...I started to really feel like it. And i’ve been fighting against it my whole life. That’s what i’m really running from. Or, what I was.”

“Feel like...you weren’t real? What does that feel like?” Eve inquired, mind filing with tragic mental images. The pain that radiated from Ezekiel took her breath away.

Ezekiel clenched his eyebrows together, glaring down at his lap as he tried to describe it.

“It...feels numb. And my head gets all cloudy. I can’t think, and everything feels like it’s a thousand miles away. Feeling just...drifts away. Feeling anything, anything at all. It’s like i’m alone in the dark, and i’m just...hollow. I’m buffered from the world. It’s like my brain’s made of lines that are all disconnected. I’m not - i’m not a real person.” Tears welled up in his eyes, and he uncrossed his arms to clench his hands in fists in front of him. Eve’s frown of concern deepened as she watched him shake out of the corner of her eye.

“I’m not a real person, Eve, i’m nobody. I’m nobody, and it’s like...it’s like i’m a puzzle, but all the pieces are blank. And they don’t - they don’t even fit together right! They’re all loose and smashed together like somebody took them from different puzzles!” He exclaimed, in near outrage. Then it all whooshed out of him, and he slumped back into his seat. His hands dropped to his lap. He took a moment to gather himself, before he came to some final heart wrenching finish.

“You make me feel real. Realer than i’ve ever felt in my life.” He whispered. Eve felt like there was nothing in the world besides them, in that moment. She tried her best to focus on the road while her mind rolled over on itself.

“I do?” She asked, heart stuttering.

“Yes. You and everyone...that’s why I…” His voice wandered away from him.

“Why you changed your mind?” Eve asked. Ezekiel nodded.

“Part of why.” He replied. Then there was a drawn out silence, as Ezekiel waited for her response. The sun was falling towards the endless blue of the west, burning the sky azure and gold as it spread over rolling green.

“I’m so proud of you.” She announced, heart wrenching in her constricted chest. Her eyes filled with tears that the afternoon light reflected. He turned to her again, finally, furrowing his brow. He had not been expecting that response.

“What?” He asked.

“You’ve been so strong, for so long. You’ve taken such good care of yourself, you are such a good person. You’ve been hurt unimaginably and abandoned, and you overcame it. You’re so young, and you were strong enough to stick your feet in the sand, and take a moment to fight all the darkness, to decide to turn against how the world’s treated you and do what’s best for you. I can’t...I can’t even imagine being strong enough or smart enough at your age to deal with any of this as well as you are. You’re so brave, Ezekiel.” She gushed, one hand on the steering wheel while the other reached to grip her chest.

Ezekiel’s face softened. “You...you really think so?” He asked, in that painfully small voice again.

“I do. So much. I’m beyond happy that I can do that for you, that we’re what you need like I always hoped. I’m so...god, i’m so sorry. I can’t imagine having to fight against something like that. I wish you could never, ever have to feel like that again.” Eve swore sincerely. Ezekiel nodded, shrugging slightly again.

“I wish so too. But...I have no way of knowing. And that’s why i’m still so...scared. That it’ll...go away.” Ezekiel confessed.

“If you ever start to feel that way again, you need to tell me, alright? So we can fight it together.” Ezekiel spared another glance over at him, and then let go of her chest, to reach over and take his hand. She squeezed it tightly, and he looked up at her with warmth in his gaze.

“You’re not alone anymore, Ezekiel. And you’ll never be alone again. I promise, you’re real. God, you’re the realest, most substantial person i’ve ever met.” She said.

Ezekiel bowed his head, pressing a kiss to the back of Eve’s hand. He had no more words to describe the feelings blossoming in his chest.

\-----

_After a few days, the screaming finally gained a response. Maria ripped open the door, and John was with her. This was a first. Maria reached forward, and slapped the handcuffs on him._

_Before Ezekiel could react, John was reaching forward to grab him by the hair and slam him to the ground. He cried out, handcuffed wrists slamming between his chest and the floor. His heart hammered with terror - was John going to rape him? Right here, in front of Maria? Or just beat him?_

_The answer turned out to be far worse._

_”You think you can howl like a dog and you won't get muzzled?” Maria demanded, from the doorway. Ezekiel tried to think of something to say, but all he could do was helplessly struggle._

_John’s hand came around near his face, holding a bulge of rolled up socks. Before Ezekiel could blink, the ball of dense cloth was being shoved into his mouth, painfully smashing against the back of his throat and stretching his jaws apart too wide. Before he could even start trying to push it out with his tongue, John’s hand left his back to wrap a strip of cloth around his head, tearing his lips apart and forcing the wad of socks farther in._

_Ezekiel struggled, trying to cry out, but no sound escaped. John then took the heavy blindfold from Maria, and tied that around Ezekiel’s head. John dropped him back onto the floor, leaving the handcuffs, the blindfold and the gag on him. Unable to see, the only way Ezekiel knew what was happening was the sound of the door latching shut. Ezekiel rolled onto his side, and tried to cry out. Nothing._

_And that was how he stayed, for an amount of time he lost track of. Laying there, unable to move, unable to see, unable to make any sound to reassure himself he was real. The numbness won him over, infecting him down to the core. He laid there, limp, lost as he was pulled away from his own body. As his mind became nothing but white noise, and all of reality fell away._

_Sometime later, how long he didn't know, he heard the distant sound of the door opening. Then he was tugged up by his shirt, and as he started to reawaken and remember who he was, the blindfold was ripped off._

_As John glared down at him, he blinked as he tried to adjust to the light he hadn't seen in so long. It was just John, no Maria. He was disorientated as hell, and John seemed to be able to tell. He let Ezekiel come back to his senses while he undid the gag. Ezekiel slowly flexed his jaw and swallowed a few times, blinking more. Then, John crossed his arms._

_”Have you learned your lesson?” John demanded._

_”Y-yes…” Ezekiel struggled to choke out, his voice rough and awkward. But god, it felt so good to talk, to see, to start to reinhabit his own body again. He wanted nothing more to be let out, to be loved again, to try again, to feel real._

_”Are you sure you’re completely ready to commit? No more funny business? Only when you give yourself to it completely, will you take the first step to being real. We’re helping you.” John said sternly. Ezekiel swallowed as he nodded desperately again, his throat dry._

_John narrowed his eyes. Then he lowered his hand, and slowly undid his belt. Ezekiel’s eyes widened as he watched. As John undid the top belt of his jeans, the first emotion Ezekiel felt in full was absolute terror. It struck through him like lightning. His heart, he could finally feel it again. And as each pump grew quicker and harder, underneath how broken and empty he was, how desperate he was, something else awoke. Something primordial, something that was like steel lining the very core of him, hardening him. It was the same feeling he’d felt when he’d found his father dead on the ground, with a needle in his arm. The same feeling that had caused him to run before his father’s pimp killed him, that drove him from city to city. The metal that forced it’s way into his bones, and dragged his feet every time he ran._

_And that part of him had only one thing to say clearly. **Not today. Not any day. Not that.**_

_Before John could even finish bringing his dick out, Ezekiel surged forward and up. He slammed his still handcuffed fists directly into his crotch while headbutting him in the chest, sending him screaming back. Ezekiel swayed for a moment, dizzy, before he charged forward, slamming into the wall above John on his way out. Then he took off as fast as his adrenaline filled body could go, managing to get out of the handcuffs as he did. He’d been working on figuring those out. He tossed them over his shoulder, and used the momentum of his arms to throw him towards the back door. He ripped it open, throwing himself out of it and jumping down the back porch steps. John was right behind him._

_They raced through the yard, but Ezekiel’s exhausted, starving body could only do so much. John soon had him on the ground, knee on his chest and hands around his throat. He strangled him far longer than he ever had before. Just as he was on the edge of giving into the darkness, Ezekiel’s hands finally wrapped around a piece of wood. He brought it towards the side of John’s face with all the strength he could muster. Thankfully, it was enough. After some time to breath, Ezekiel bolted inside and grabbed his things as quickly as possible. Then he’d paused on his way towards the window, blood pulsing in his ears as he thought. John would erase the video footage the minute he got up. And there would be no proof any of this happened. So, telling himself it was for leverage, he’d run to John’s office and pulled the video camera footage onto his flash drive. Then he was out the office window and jumping off the roof, racing into the night as fast as his feet would carry him. That usb drive clutched in his fist, he swore to himself this was it. This time, he’d get away for good. And he would never bother getting close to anyone, ever again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come talk to me at queerseth.tumblr.com!


	32. the scenic route

Jake lay awake in bed, clammy hands clasped behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling. His room was bigger than his last one, with dark wood paneling instead of wallpaper. The window was next to his headboard, with heavy red curtains blocking the light. Darkness swallowed it at this time of night, the only light coming from the alarm clock on his nightstand that read _8:02 PM_ in red LED letters.

As far as his room went, the first thing his aunt had bought him when he’d moved in had been a bookshelf. It was an old, wide, tall one. Made of a deep red stained wood he didn’t know the name of. It had been a while since he’d started living here, but everything still felt...strange. He’d lived with his father his whole life. His instincts to hide who he was still ruled him, and he often panicked whenever anyone walked in on him with all his books so blatantly on display.

As far as living with these people...one of the first things they’d done when they’d gotten here was sat him down and asked him about his _“smarts”_ , as his aunt put it. Flynn had apparently gotten to them before Jake would get to work dumbing himself down. It had been torture, apprehensively admitting that yes, he had an IQ of 190. His aunt later broke out drinks to celebrate, and he’d blushed redder than the wine the whole way through the night. Maybe things could really be different.

 _”Your father ain’t coming back, and if he does, i’ll be putting him in a grave.”_ His aunt had declared, jerking her thumb at her gun rack for good measure. _”Whatever you want to do with your life you do, you hear? Don’t let any of that hold you back.”_

Did he dare dream of really living? Really being himself, going out there and doing things, writing papers and studying art and language, studying thousands of years of human expression?

His mind flashed back to the first day he’d met Ezekiel. It felt like nearly a lifetime ago, sitting in the library after school, intrigued by this new face.

_”A man’s reach should exceed his grasp,” Ezekiel had said, big words coming from such a small mind, it had seemed, at the time. “Or what’s a heaven for?”_

Jake turned onto his side in bed, curling in on himself and squeezing his eyes shut. With every beat of his heart, it broke more. He missed Ezekiel so much. It was an ache, deep down inside of him. Accompanied by an all consuming fear, a constant worry. Where was he? Was he ever going to come back? Would Eve find him? Would Ezekiel ever forgive him for telling her?

He regretted telling Eve first, now. In hindsight, he should have tried to talk to Ezekiel. Should have tried to relate to him, should have told him that he understood. He understood what it was like to be scared, and to fight against the feeling that you deserve to be hurt. Maybe he didn’t understand it to the _extreme_ extent Ezekiel did, but...he should have tried. They shouldn’t have gone behind his back. And now they might never see him again.

And then what would Ezekiel’s future be? To keep on running forever, trying to get people to hurt him, hurting himself? Trying to fix something that wasn’t broken? Always empty, always in pain, always afraid, always _restless_. He could see it now, Ezekiel spending the rest of his life on the streets, in and out of prison. His beautiful mind going to waste, his wonderful heart broken and twisted, until it hardened into a shell of itself. Home to nothing but the next empty thrill.

If Ezekiel hadn’t helped save him, and helped make him realize he deserved better, a future like that could have well belonged to Jake. And now his friend was out there, running like a panicked animal cut off from it’s pack, all because Jake didn’t think the situation through.

\------------

Ezekiel and Eve stopped for the night at a motel in some coastal town. Ezekiel was fairly quiet as they settled into the room. He sat cross legged on his bed, while she was in the bathroom changing into more comfortable clothes. When she came out, he was still sitting in the same position, staring down at his lap. He was holding his phone, but not doing anything on it. Just...staring down at it blankly.

“I’m surprised you didn’t toss it.” Eve said. Ezekiel didn’t look up.

“I...just couldn’t, I guess…” He shrugged.

“I’m glad you didn’t. I’m so happy you made the right choice. Before it was too late. I-” Eve’s words caught in her throat a little, and she swallowed. Ezekiel finally looked up at her, noticing the pause. She smiled down at him, going to sit on the edge of her bed across from him.

“I was so afraid i’d be too late. That you’d get caught, and they’d take you away. Not that i’m doubting your abilities or anything.” She added. Ezekiel nodded.

“I understand. I’m sorry I put you through that,” He said softly, returning his gaze down to his phone. “I’m sorry I put all of you through that.”

“Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault.” She said sternly. He only nodded. She glanced down at the device in his hands.

“Have you responded to your friends yet?” She asked. Ezekiel shook his head.

“I don’t know what to say…” He said softly.

“Well, you should probably at least tell them you’re coming back. They’re all worried sick, even Tom.” She said. Ezekiel winced, looking guilty. Then he took a deep breath, and lifted the phone up. He figured it would probably be a good idea to address them all rather than one by one.

_**To: Cassie, Bitchy Cowboy, and Lover Boy:** _

**I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have ran. I’m on my way back now. Safe and sound with Baird Sorry again. See you soon. - Sent 8:09 PM**

It was awkward and felt like it fell flat, but it was all he could think of. He’d never been that good with words. Once he was done, he nervously set the phone on the nightstand, hoping to avoid their responses for as long as possible.

“Oh, kiddo…” Eve sighed. She got up, and moved to sit down next to Ezekiel. Instead of flinching away or stiffening up, Ezekiel just moved to make room for her. She took this as a sign to move just a little farther. So, she hesitantly reached out an arm, making sure it was obvious she just wanted to hug him. It only took him a moment of hesitation before he leaned into her embrace. She wrapped her arm around him, letting him rest his head on his shoulder. He was surprisingly cold. They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, but the nagging in the back of Baird’s mind would not be ignored.

“I know you don’t want to talk about it right now, and that’s alright.” She started, and Ezekiel instantly began to feel a sense of tired dread. She pursed her lips, staring down at the carpet and trying to quell the guilt eating her up. “But I just want to say how sorry I am. For being so stupid, and for praising the people that hurt you right to your face.”

Ezekiel closed his eyes, suddenly overcome with a wave of resigned exhaustion.

“It’s okay. You weren’t wrong.” He said softly.

“Of course I was. They hurt you, no matter what justification you think they had, and it was right in front of me, and I just wouldn’t see it. Instead of helping you I was just throwing it right in your face.” She sighed.

Ezekiel didn’t have the strength to try and explain the truth. He wasn’t sure he’d ever have the strength. So instead, he left that for another day, and let his heart focus on a softer, but more persistent pain.

“I’m sorry that everything with them happened. I just...I really did want to be better. But no matter how hard I try at school, I failed. No matter how well I behaved everywhere else, I couldn’t stop stealing. I…” he gave a small laugh, a nostalgic, almost ironic huff, before carrying on,” ...you know, it’s funny. I didn’t show it of course, but when they started telling me about where they were sending me...I was excited. Everyone told me how great they were, how they turned so many lost causes around. I started feeling like I could actually start to hope for a better future. I’d never felt that before. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them, they made be believe I could be worth something someday.”

“Someday? Is that what they said?” Eve asked, mind starting to weave a clearer picture. Ezekiel nodded.

“I was even more of a nobody then, when they got me. They said if I did what they said, I could really be someone. Someone worth something, a real person, a good person. They said it might take a while...I guess they just underestimated how long it would take…” Ezekiel said, shrugging matter of factly.

Eve’s heart felt like it been cleaved clean in half, as the root of it all became so painfully clear. She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. Her heart ached so much, it physically hurt to breath. God, he said it like it was just common sense. _Fact._

Then she gave him a slight squeeze, before sliding her arm off him, turning to face him. He sat up straighter at her movement, turning to her, with a questioning expression on his face. She gave him another tragic smile - those seemed to be becoming a theme - and reached to brush his hair back into place.

“You are real. One of the realest people I know, I told you that. And you _always_ have been. You have always had worth, and you’ve always been good. You have always mattered, so much. And that’s why it’s so horrible, what you were put through from birth. That feeling, the idea you’re not worth anything - it was never correct, never true.” She swore with all the sincerity of every heartbreak humanity had ever endured. Ezekiel’s eyes widened, and then, overwhelmed, they flicked down to stare at the sheets between them instead. But she didn’t let his apprehension stop her, not with this.

“ _That’s_ the thing that isn’t real, it was put there by the horrible actions of other people, and you never deserved that. The Reynolds...” The name was so bitter in her mouth, she might vomit. “They took advantage of you. They recognized the trauma you’d been through, and instead of telling you the truth, they made you think it was set in stone. They used it to control you. But it’s not true, it’s not, I swear. And i’ll never do that to you, and i’ll never let anyone do that to you again. Ever. You’re my son now and I’m going to spend the rest of my life helping you realize just how much worth you’ve always had, or i’m going to die trying.” As she spoke, her voice grew in determination, and was colored with an unwavering devotion that could only ever come from a mother. Blood or not, it was an undeniable bond that had formed between them.

Ezekiel stared at her, unable to summon up words. He felt like he’d been pulled apart like taffy, and strewn across the room. For the last few days, he’d been so emotionally raw, he was more exhausted than he could ever remember being in his life. He decided just to let the details wash away for another day, and focus on the love and the life he had almost lost.

“Thank you. For everything.” He said softly, almost a whisper. Eve smiled, and stood up.

“You look tired, Kiddo. Let’s get some sleep.” She said, turning away to pull the covers back on her own bed, and then reached to turn off the light. As dim evening descended over them, they both crawled into bed, taking a moment to shuffle and get comfortable. Both laying on their backs, staring at the ceiling. Yet acutely aware of the presence of the other across a few feet of space. It felt like an hour of silent restlessness went by, but it was probably only a few minutes. Bored and too emotionally on edge to sleep, Ezekiel reached to grab his phone off the nightstand. He could see via the light leaking through the curtains that Eve’s eyes were closed peacefully. But before he could even get near his phone, her voice stopped him.

“Don’t you dare, Jones. Get to sleep. Your phone can wait. Besides, it’ll just make you more wound up if you look at their replies right now.” She said, softly but sternly, not even opening her eyes. He pouted ( _how on Earth could she hear that well?_ ) but couldn’t help but concede that she was right. Not that he would ever directly admit it. It was strange - he felt admonished, but also somehow warm and happy at her authoritative tone? It had been commanding, but affectionate. Just like a mother’s. At least, based on his observations of other people and their mothers.

He settled back into his bed, folding his hands, unable to stop a small smile from spreading across his face. Then, a thought occurred to him. An idea, a dream resurfacing, a long held secret desire that finally had the chance to become a reality. His heart started to pound, and he glanced over towards Eve’s bed, nervously debating the issue back and forth. Goosebumps rippled across his skin as he finally threw caution to the wind and made a decision. He licked his lips anxiously as he opened his mouth to speak, clenching his hands together tightly.

“Whatever you say...mom…” He tried to say bravely into the room, but his voice cracked, and he winced. Eve’s eyes shot open, and her head whipped to stare at him in shock and awe. He gulped, unable to look away from her, waiting for a response. Nearly trembling at the fear of rejection, already starting to feel a wave of remorse head his way. Was it too soon?

Then her awe melted into love, and she smiled at him happily.

“I love you too, Ezekiel.”

\----------------------

The next morning, Cassandra woke up with a start, from yet another nightmare. She winced, a spike of pain through her forehead coming as a formal greeting from the world of the living. She sighed as she rubbed the bridge of her nose, slumping over in bed and trying to forget her nightmare. To no avail.

Once she felt ready to open her eyes, her first order of business was to check her phone to see if there was any news on Ezekiel. Of course, after the last few days, when she opened her phone that morning she didn’t _actually_ expect there to be any news. Let alone a direct message from him.

She shrieked, and her phone flew out of her hands. Then, in a flail to try and catch it, she herself slide of the edge of her bed and landed in a heap of blankets and distressed teenage girl. Once she sat up again and regained her faculties, she didn’t even bother to get back up onto the bed. She scrambled to grab her phone and practically broke the screen, she tapped the notification so aggressively.

_**Sent To: You, Jake <3, and Unknown Number** _

**__I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have ran. I’m on my way back now. Safe and sound with Baird Sorry again. See you soon. - Zeke_ _ **

Her heart exploded with relief and joy after she read that message, and she flopped onto her back into the pile of blankets on the floor, clutching the phone to her chest and wiping fresh tears from her eyes. It took her a moment to regain herself, before she brought the phone back up to read it the rest with red, tear filled eyes.

**___Don’t be sorry. I’m the one who told her and I shouldn’t have. I should have talked to you first, I’m the one that’s sorry. We never meant to hurt you and we won’t ever hurt you, and when you get back here you’re going to see just how much we all love you. Also: really, man, Baird caught you that easily? cmon….get it 2gether jones - Jake_ _ _ **

**____SPEAK FOR YOURSELF JONES BETTER GET HERE IN TIME FOR THE ASS WHOOPING HE’S ABOUT TO GET I’VE BEEN UP FOR DAYS WORRYING ABOUT YOU YOU ASSHOLE I NEED MY FUCKING BEAUTY SLEEP - Unknown Number Sent 4: 16 AM_ _ _ _ **

 

Ah, that must be Tom then.

 

**____don’t threaten him jesus christ tom is that you?? don’t even joke like that man this is not the time - Jake <3 Sent 4:18 AM_ _ _ _ **

**____*baird voice* blaze it - Zeke <3 Sent 4:20 AM_ _ _ _ **

**____wtf - Unknown Number Sent 4: 21 AM_ _ _ _ **

**____Seriously Ezekiel? That’s what you’re going to enter this extremely serious conversation with? - Jake <3 Sent 4:22 AM_ _ _ _ **

****__for 8000 a month i will stop_  
_and excuse me, baird saying blaze it was the most serious moment of my LIFE_  
_and for your information I changed my mind and called HER so suck on that cowboy_  
_\- Zeke <3 Sent 4:24__

___The rest of the messages was Ezekiel vaguely giving the facts of the situation, he’d changed his mind, called Eve, and now they were on their way back. Interspersed by Ezekiel trying to lift the mood with abstract jokes and sarcasm. Tom seemed to go along with the jokes, while Jake adamantly stayed on the subject._ _ _

**____EZEKIEL I’M SORRY IT WASN’T JUST JAKE WHO DECIDED TO TELL HER FIRST I’M SO SORRY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I AM SO HAPPY YOU’RE COMING BACK TELL BAIRD I SAID HI ALSO IS CALIFORNIA NICE I’VE NEVER BEEN DID YOU STEAL ANYTHING BIG DID YOU GO TO THE OCEAN I’M SO GLAD YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND!!! WHAT MADE YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND OR IS THAT TOO SENSITIVE TO TALK ABOUT OVER TEXT BECAUSE IF IT IS I UNDERSTAND I AM JUST REALLY RELIEVED AND HAPPY I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU I’M NEVER GOING TO LET YOU GO AGAIN YOU JERK - Sent by You 5: 34 AM_ _ _ _ **

It wasn’t till after she sent the message that she realized it was a little too...intense. Story of her life.

****__hi cassie shit don’t feel bad you did the right thing_  
_I think idk_  
_I don’t really know what to say about it it’s a lot_  
_\- Zeke <3 Sent 5: 34 AM__

**____We’ll talk about it when you get back. Some stuff just has to be said face to face. - Jake <3 Sent 5: 35 AM_ _ _ _ **

**____ugh...talking...- Zeke Sent 5:35 AM_ _ _ _ **

___\-------------------------------_ _ _

The rest of the drive up through California went comfortably. There seemed to be an air of agreement between them, to let all the heavy stuff rest, and have a good time together while they were at it.

Now that he wasn’t on the run, distracted by a whirlwind of panic and emotions, he found he enjoyed the west coast a lot.

They drove for hours, talking or listening to music, occasionally stopping to get food or walk around cute little coastal towns. They were in a town on the coast in the very north of California, almost to the Oregon border. They were in some mash up of a clothing store and a souvenir shop, and Ezekiel was looking at a bunch of pirate coin replicas under one of the counters. He’d always liked pirates. Living on the high seas, hijacking boats, getting drunk, the wind in your hair? He’d been born in the wrong century for sure.

He was so engrossed in the shiny baubles under the counter, he didn’t hear Eve come to stand next to him. She had a bag she’d already paid for on her arm.

“We better get going if we want to get to Oregon before night. See anything you like?” She asked. He shook his head.

“No, just looking. Want me to drive now?” He asked, concerned she might be tired again.

“And give up control of the music? In your dreams, Jones.” She chastised as they exited the shop and headed towards the car.

Once they were inside and ready to go, Eve paused to glance into her shopping bag, and then over at Ezekiel. He raised an eyebrow.

“What’s up?” He asked.

“I, uh, got you something, but I don’t want it to seem insensitive.” She said, brushing a stray hair behind her ear as she reached into the bag and pulled out a pair of dark blue fingerless gloves. He blinked, surprised.

“Uh, Jake told me about your hands. And, well, those gloves look pretty worn out. I thought you might want some new ones.” She said, offering them to him with an awkward smile.

He took them, running his fingers over them. They were nice, they couldn’t have been cheap. He’d had his own for a while now, he realized. He’d become so used to them, he hadn’t realized how frayed and roughed up they were.

“You don’t have to put them on right now, I just thought you’d like more options…” Eve said nervously, as he’d yet to give any definitive response. She occupied herself with turning on the car and pulling into the street, while he mulled over the gloves. As he sat there, running his fingers over them, he considered the whirlwind of emotions he could prolong, but not avoid.

“What exactly did Jake tell you?” Ezekiel asked.

“That, uh...Maria burned your hands.” She said, trying to keep her voice as neutral as possible. Ezekiel’s head whipped up, and he furrowed his brow in surprise.

“Wait, what? How did Jake know it was her? I never told them that…” He asked in confusion.

“So it was you? She - she made you burn your hands?” Eve whispered in horror, the image filling up her mind and making her want to throw up. How could she have never known what horrible people they were? She wasn’t just some average Joe, she used to be NATO. She should know better. She should have known better.

Ezekiel looked down at his lap, gritting his teeth. He wished he could go into this new life of his without having to deal with the past, he just wanted it to go away. He didn’t want to deal with it. But he knew he had to, however confusing it may be.

“She was trying to get me to stop stealing...” He said softly, knowing it wouldn’t do anything to help. However, honesty seemed to be getting him farther than everything he’d been doing before. Didn’t stop his skin from crawling, though. Stop being such a wimp, his mind uttered to him bitterly, Make her understand, so that she doesn’t hate her friends when you’re the one who ruined everything.

“How did she…” Eve’s voice trembled and drifted off, and she swallowed past the horror in her throat. She just didn’t know. She didn’t know what to say, think, do. It was like some bad dream she couldn’t awaken from. Don’t be so dramatic, she chided herself, Ezekiel’s the one who was tortured and manipulated for god knows how long. Don’t go feeling sorry for yourself because you were too stupid to see the truth about these people.

The highway rolled forever away from them and forever towards them, cutting through the countryside like a concrete mobius strip. Ezekiel wanted to make light of the situation, make a joke, laugh it off. He also felt like the weight of it all was pushing out of him, yearning to finally be free. He’d never realized how much he’d been holding in, he’d never imagined that one day he’d actually want to get it all off his chest. But the more he let go, the lighter the load felt. It was a constant conflict in his heart. Oh, who was he kidding? His head had always been a battleground.

Maybe not for much longer.

“I came home after skipping all day, “ He started to say. Eve stiffened instantly, mind rolling back through the past weeks. He kept his eyes on his hands as he talked, trying to sound relaxed. “And she asked me if i’d been out stealing things. I...I love her, and I really did want to be what she wanted, but I couldn’t stop stealing, because, you know...but I hate lying...so I told her the truth. I was hoping maybe she’d understand, because I told both of them...I told them about, you know. The problem. But she said it was all in my head, and that I was just using it as an excuse…” Ezekiel shrugged.

Eve’s knuckles turned white, and she started to bite the inside of her cheek to hold in the emotions bubbling up in her. Maria was a doctor. She would have known the minute she heard it that it was a serious issue. She was supposed to protect him, and help him, and help other people, and she just - Eve mentally checked herself, shoving that all away. She could be angry another time. She glanced over at him, at his distant expression. It ripped her gut right out of her.

“It’s not an excuse. She shouldn’t have belittled you like that.” She said, trying not to seem too aggressive, worried if she tried to call out the Reynolds right now, he might close off again. He didn’t react to that, except with a quirk of his lips.

“Then we got in an argument and - I was just so frustrated, I acted like I didn’t care again, and she got so angry… we were in the kitchen when this all happened, I got home late, she was making dinner when we started fighting...s-she grabbed my arms, and I didn’t-” His voice cracked and he put his face in his gloved hands, sighing. Eve’s heart was beating like a drum, threatening to crack her ribs from the inside out. She didn’t want to hear it, she had to hear it, she could barely believe it.

“She put my hands on the burners. Hel- uh, held them there for a while. Hurt like a bitch. Really went all the way through the skin. Never felt anything like that before, i’ve always had more of a history of impact injuries. Good ol’ Jones. Hitting it hard. Nevermind, I don’t know what that means…” Ezekiel gave up talking, sinking into his seat and staring out the window as his face burned red. Trying to ramble away the darkness didn’t seem to work.

Eve took a deep breath, keeping herself in check.

“I am so, so sorry. Nobody should ever do that to another person. That must have been one of the most painful things ever, that I can imagine.” She said softly, the world blurring at the edges of her vision.

Ezekiel shrugged. “Not the worst thing they did.” He stated, and then winced. He probably shouldn’t have said this. He suddenly felt guilty, like he was betraying them. Again.

“I’m so sorry. Nobody should hurt you like that. And I know - I know you have other feelings on the matter, and we’ll talk about it later, okay? Thank you for telling me this. It’s okay for you to tell me anything. I’m so sorry that happened to you, and I will never, ever do that to you.” She swore intensely. He looked over at her, and offered a hesitant smile. She glanced over and caught it, and felt a rush of relief as she forced a smile back.

“I know. I knew you guys wouldn’t hurt me after that party incident. I haven’t doubted that since.” He admitted.

“Good. And i’ll never doubt you. I promise, okay?”

Ezekiel turned to look down at the new gloves, smiling as he rubbed his thumb over the material.

“Okay.”

\--------------

They got back to town sooner than Ezekiel expected. As they pulled up to the house - his house - Ezekiel felt a happiness and relief like he’d never known. Like all the weight of the world was off his shoulders. It was as close to safe as he’d ever come.

They stepped out of the car, and the front door opened. Flynn was there, looking relieved. Before Flynn could even step forward, a ball of white and brown came shooting out from between his legs, flailing down the steps and crashing so hard up into Ezekiel’s arms that he stumbled and nearly fell.

Stumpy started aggressively licking his face, and was practically vibrating with happiness. His tail was wagging so hard it was like a barely visible blur in the air. Ezekiel couldn’t help it, he started to giggle as the dog’s tongue and snout tickled his face and neck. This made Stumpy even more excited, and the dog practically tried to climb on top of his head.

Flynn came down the steps to stand next to Eve, and they both smiled at the sight of the boy trying not to fall over while his dog tried to love him to death. Then Flynn turned to Eve, looking at her with awe. The same kind of unadulterated wonder that he gave to fruitfully discovered artifacts at digs, she knew, because she’d visited one once and watched him work.

She returned the smile, glancing over at the puppy and the laughing kid. Her kid.

“You did it. You caught smoke.” Flynn said, voice full of pleased disbelief. Eve shook her head, crossing her arms and jerking her head towards Ezekiel, radiating pride.

“Nah, I didn’t do a damn thing. He came back to me.” She said, voice gentle but full of emotional. Flynn’s brows quirked up in surprise, and then he nodded, taking the information in stride.

Once Ezekiel got the dog to calm down, they grabbed their bags, and went inside.

“Thanks for watching Stumpy and the house while we were gone.” Eve said sincerely to Flynn, while they stood in the hall.

“No problem at all, it’s a good house and a good dog. I, uh, i’m happy you’re both back and safe. I should probably go though.” Flynn said, jerking his thumb towards the door. Ezekiel didn’t look him in the eyes, feeling the weight of this entire situation being his fault.

They bade Flynn goodbye, and then they were alone.

“Well, it’s only Saturday morning...if you want to invite your friends over to talk to them, you can.” Eve suggested. Ezekiel looked down, scuffing the carpet with his shoe.

“I know I have to talk to them...doesn’t mean i’m really excited for it.” He muttered. Eve nodded in empathy.

“It’s hard, I know. You don’t have to talk to them right away. But you know they care about you a lot and they of all people will understand, if you give them the chance to. I am so proud of you for everything, for coming back on your own, for opening up as much as you have. If you need a break, you can have a break.” Eve said earnestly. Ezekiel sighed, and then shook his head, pulling out his phone.

“No, I should probably talk to at least Jake and Cassandra today. Tom is...a different situation…” He said softly, in resignation.

“I’ll make din - actually, I won’t. How about I order a pizza? Double cheese pepperoni sound good?” Eve decided. Ezekiel looked up at her, grinning.

“How is that even a question?!” He agreed wholeheartedly, to which she laughed.

“Never change, Jones.”


	33. lessons in love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group sorts through the fallout of recent events, and hope for the future is at an all time high.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this chapter un-beta'd because i'm on drugs. Hope you enjoy it!

Seconds ticked by achingly slow as Ezekiel waited for Jake and Cassandra to get there. How did one handle a situation like this, the build up to such an emotionally charged event? Once he was done unpacking and getting resettled into his room, he found himself pacing back and forth, wringing his hands together, rubbing his fingers over the frays and seams in his gloves. After a few rotations around the room, Ezekiel stopped, and looked down at the gloves on his hands. Gears began to turn in his head, and he frowned down at them. What was the point of hiding it anymore? Everyone knew now. And if strangers saw the scars on his hand, he knew from experience that only assholes asked about shit like that. So why keep them on? If he was really going to stay here, with these people, he knew he had to give it his all. And all these little ways he used to distance himself, they had to go. Maybe he’d wear the nice blue gloves Eve had gotten him, whenever he went somewhere he wasn’t comfortable showing his hands off. But otherwise…

Taking a deep breath, Ezekiel shakily undid the velcro straps around his wrists, and tugged the gloves off. He tossed them onto the bed, and then stretched his fingers, grimacing at the white patterns over his palms. All the scar cream in the world, for the rest of his life, would probably only help a little bit. He’d just have to live with them. 

Just then, he heard Stumpy start barking downstairs, and he heard Eve’s heavy footsteps heading towards the door. His heart skipped a beat, flooding with a thousand emotions at once. They were here. 

\------------

Eve opened the door to see Jake and Cassandra standing there, both looking breathless, as if they’d ran here. She smiled at them, knowing just the kind of relief and joy they were feeling. 

“He’s upstai-” Eve started to say, but before she could finish the two looked at something behind her shoulder as if it was the most beautiful thing they’d ever seen. Cassandra lunged forward, pushing Eve out of her way as she rushed to throw her arm around Ezekiel, who had just stepped down from the last stair. He stumbled a bit, but caught her and returned the hug. Eve turned and watch as Jake came to stand behind Cassandra, smiling happily at his friends as they hugged. Cassandra stepped back a little, looking up at Ezekiel with tears rolling out of her eyes. Ezekiel’s smile left when he saw that, and he reached to wipe them away. More only came, and Cassandra squeezed her eyes shut against them.

“I’m so sorry, i’m sorry, we should have talked to you -” She started to exclaimed, breath hitching on every word as she clung to Ezekiel’s jacket. Ezekiel stared down at her, shocked at the display of such heart wrenching emotions for his sake. Ezekiel glanced up at Jake over her head, and his expression betrayed the same. Ezekiel swallowed, before he cupped Cassandra’s face and brought it back up to look at him.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Don’t go crying over a spilled can of worms. You didn’t do anything wrong, I just panicked, that’s all. It wasn’t that big of a deal, in fact, it’s a little embarrassing. Really, you did the right thing. Thank you.” He said sincerely, trying to reassure her. She nodded, smiling through her tears. 

Eve, sufficiently heart wrenched by the scene, cleared her throat. 

“I’ll be downstairs if you need me, dinner’s at 6.” She said, ushering them up the stairs. Ezekiel picked up Stumpy so that he wouldn’t have to struggle up the stairs as they walked. Once they were inside his room, Ezekiel hadn’t even fully turned towards them before Jake’s arms were suddenly around him. Ezekiel froze in surprise, and Stumpy wiggled up between them to lick Jake’s face. Jake laughed, taking a step back so that Stumpy could hop down from Ezekiel’s arms and weave between their legs. Then Jake’s gaze was back on him, and holy shit, it was full of so much emotion Ezekiel felt like he was ensnared. 

“I’m glad you’re back, man. We were real torn up. But things can be better now, you don’t have to be afraid of anything with us.” Jake assured him. God, he was being so nice. Guilt gnawed at Ezekiel, and he glanced over at Cassandra. If he really wanted to start a new life, he couldn’t do it with another secret.

“I kissed Cassandra!” Ezekiel heard himself exclaim. Cassandra blushed, and Jake blinked. Ezekiel took a step back, in fear of the off chance he’d get a black eye over it. 

“I know, she told me.” Jake said simply, as if he wasn't bothered at all. Ezekiel stared at him, not quite comprehending his calm.

“I kissed your girlfriend and you’re fine with that?” Ezekiel asked in confusion. Jake smiled, and rubbed the back of his neck, exchanging some sort of knowing look with Cassandra.

“Well, first off, she kissed you. And secondly...uh, in that situation, I wouldn’t be jealous of you for kissing Cassandra, i’d be jealous of Cassandra because she got to kiss you.” Jake said, voice a little tight, as if he was confessing something. Ezekiel narrowed his eyes, only further confused.

“Wait, what?” 

Jake’s face turned red, and he ducked his head. Cassandra teetered back and forth, seeming to be vibrating with bottled energy. Finally, she couldn’t seem to bear it anymore, and threw her hands in the air. 

“We like you!” She exclaimed, in the pure excitement of letting something go that she’d been dying to say for god knows how long. 

“You...what?” Ezekiel asked. Of course they liked him, they were his friends, weren’t they? 

“Both me and Jake have feelings for you. Romantic feelings.” Cassandra clarified. They both watched him as if holding their breath. 

“But...you’re dating each other. You like each other. You’ve liked each other since the day you met, everyone knows that.” Ezekiel said, mind not accepting the new information easily. 

“Well, yeah. We both have romantic feelings for each other, yes. But we both also have them for you.” Jake said, slowly, as if Ezekiel was a child. Ezekiel turned away, putting a hand to his forehead as he tried to process this. Could he be dreaming? This must be a dream. There was no way…

“You don’t have to return any of those feelings,” Cassandra quickly corrected, a little worried at how shaken up he seemed to be over the confession. “We just want you to know. Just wanted to clear the air. We only want whatever you want.” She said.

“First and foremost we want to be your friends, no matter what.” Jake added on, to which Cassandra nodded. Ezekiel took a deep breath and sat heavily on the side of his bed, staring at the floor in dumbstruck shock.

“I never thought anybody would have a crush on me, let alone two people…” He murmured, expression distant.

Jake and Cassandra looked at each other, before both taking a seat on either side of Ezekiel on the bed. 

“That’s what you meant.” Jake realized. The other two looked over at him.

“What?” Ezekiel asked. 

“When we were stuck in that closet. I asked you why you ran away and you said it was because you were afraid. Now I know who you were afraid of.” Jake explained. Ezekiel swallowed, looking back down at his lap. Time for this conversation, apparently, when he hadn’t even finished processing the one they’d just had.

“I”m sorry that I just hid in the stall, when he was hurting you. I should have done something.” Cassandra said remorsefully. Ezekiel shook his head. 

“No, no, you shouldn’t have. That would have made everything worse. Besides, he wasn't hurting me. He was just talking to me.” Ezekiel replied, digging his fingernails into his palm. 

“He threw you against a wall. That’s not talking.” Cassandra argued. Ezekiel closed his eyes as a barrage of memories assaulted him. Memories of being shoved against walls and stomped into the floor. If only she knew how docile that bathroom encounter had been, compared to what he’d gone through back in New York and Denver. 

“We know it was Maria, who hurt your hands.” Jake said. Ezekiel opened his eyes, and uncurled his fists, staring down at the hands in question.

“I know. Eve told me you told her.” He replied softly. Jake and Cassandra also looked down at his palms, and both their hearts bled with pain on their friend’s behalf. 

“I’m sorry they hurt you so badly. Eve and us, we won’t let anyone hurt you again.” Cassandra swore.

“Because...you love me?” Ezekiel asked, asking confirmation for something he was pretty sure he already knew.

“Yes.” They both said simultaneously. He smiled down at his laugh, giving a slightly ironic huff. And then he frowned, heart twisting. How could he possibly handle this?

“Look, I...I’m flattered, really, that you both like me that way….but…” Ezekiel felt them both sag slightly at the last word, and he resisted the urge to flinch. Let them down easy, hopefully everything would go back to normal.

“I don’t even know how to be a real person, yet. I gotta figure that out, and then I have to figure out how to be with people, as a friend, and as family. Eve wants to adopt me, she wants me to be her son and I-” He felt tears well up in his eyes, and his words caught and broke over the lump in his throat. “I don’t know how to do that! I can’t - I can’t _be_ with anyone, you know? I just can’t. I don’t even know how to like another person like that.” He said, a bit helplessly. It wasn’t a lie. But part of it was an omission of truth. 

“You don’t have to! You don’t have to feel anything or do anything back, it’s completely fine!” Cassandra dived to reassure him, smiling desperately.

“Yeah, it’s okay, we’re still your friends.” Jake agreed passionately, nodding intensely. Ezekiel, somewhat reassured he hadn’t fucked this up, gave a slight huff of a laugh.

“Thank you. For being my friends. And for never reporting me when I stole your credit cards.”

“You _what_?”

\-----------------

“How’d that go?” Eve asked, as Ezekiel watched his friends drive away into the night out the living room window. 

“It was...interesting. But good. I think we’ll be fine. I really don’t deserve them.” He said, eyes distant as he stood by the window, his arms crossed. If Eve noticed he wasn’t wearing any gloves, she didn’t say anything.

“Yes you do.” She said, not so much a denial as a statement of the truth. Ezekiel didn’t respond to it, either way. She sighed slightly, and then walked over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. He offered her a slightly forced smile, and she could see how heavy the burden of his thoughts were. But there was a warmth emitting from him that had been stifled before. 

“You’re safe now.” She said.

“I know.” He said softly, leaning into her touch a little.

“I have...a friend. Who’s a lawyer. A very good lawyer. He can help us, with what’s to come next.” She said. Ezekiel furrowed his brow.

“Why would we need a lawyer?” He asked, confused.

“John and Maria can’t get away with what they did.” Eve replied. Ezekiel’s face instantly closed off, she could practically hear the shutters slam closed. Ezekiel pulled away from her.

“I don’t want to press charges.” He said, pulling his arms tighter around himself. She pursed her lips, and let her hand fall to her side.

“We’ll talk about it later. Get some sleep.” 

\---------------

The sun flowed over the mountains like honey over bread, breaking through the thick layer of snow to bring warmth back into the dying landscape. 

“First time seeing so much snow?” Eve asked, when she came into the kitchen to see Ezekiel’s wide eyes craning out the window. 

“No, I saw snow for the first time in New York. Still get excited, though. Guess i’m just lame like that.” He said. Eve got to work starting a pot of coffee, feeling the tension leaving her shoulders. It was so nice, to be home, with Ezekiel, knowing she wouldn’t lose him. 

“That’s not lame, snow is fun! I hate the holidays, but I like the season.” She said matter of factly. Ezekiel turned, cocking his head at her.

“You hate the holidays?” He asked. She nodded.

“I just…” She wasn’t a fan of opening up, herself. But this was the boy she wanted to be a mother to, who had been through so much. If she desperately wanted him to open up to her, she should be open herself. She shrugged, swallowing as she prepared her voice to transmit the truth.

“I was actually born on Christmas Eve. Hence the name. My parents always made a big deal about the holidays, and as I got older, I started spending my holidays in warzones, watching people I loved kill and be killed, all for reasons I knew were bullshit, in the end. It never ends. And then you come back here, and the holidays aren’t real. They’re just commercials, better ways to make money, just more meaningless stress hiding behind tinsel and egg nog and fairytales. The irony started to make me a little bitter.” 

Ezekiel frowned, thinking over what she was saying. 

“Yeah, that makes sense. They’re pretty fake. Not that i’d really know. I never really celebrated any. The biggest thing I’ve ever done for the holidays was rob a Santa.” He said wryly. At that, Eve laughed, and Ezekiel’s smile widened. But then Eve’s face fell a little, and she turned to him.

“I guess, yeah, you must not have celebrated anything.” She realized. Ezekiel just shrugged, and looked down at the floor.

“Well, not really, but not completely. I don’t even, uh,” He reached to scratch the back of his neck. “I don’t even know when my birthday is. Rain didn’t either, so she just had me pick a day on the calendar so she could bring me a cupcake. Dollar store cupcakes on special days whenever she could afford it, which wasn’t often. Once I was on my own I started stealing nicer stuff on special occasions, though, so that was always fun.” He reminisced. The image of young Ezekiel stealing himself treats and eating them alone on the streets during the holidays was both adorable and heartbreaking. 

“I’m sorry.” She said, unsure what else to say. She now felt somewhat guilty for griping about her stupid holiday related angst. But Ezekiel just smiled.

“It’s fine. Ready to go?” 

\------------------

“Good to see you’re back, Mr. Jones.” McGuire sneered from the front of the class, but with a more refined amount of self restraint. Eve had tried to get him to drop this class and replace it with an online one, but Ezekiel had insisted on staying. He wouldn’t let McGuire know he’d won. Ezekiel was sitting in between his two friends, and he had decided not to even look up at the old language arts teacher. Cassandra narrowed her eyes and noticeably stiffened, and out of the corner of Ezekiel’s eye he could see Jake’s fist tighten around his pen. Protective, weren’t they? 

_We both have romantic feelings for each other, yes. But we both also have them for you._

He still couldn’t believe it.

“While you were away, the class was assigned a paragraph analysis of one of the many messages in _Fahrenheit 451_ , to be read aloud to the class. Presentations start today and end Friday, so I assume you’re just in time to be assigned a zero?” McGuire asked, adjusting his glasses. A few of their classmates giggled. Ezekiel’s frown deepened. 

“No. I’ll do a presentation.” He announced, crossing his arms. Everyone glanced at him in disbelief but he didn’t let his self regard slip.

McGuire raised an eyebrow. “Forgive me, Mr. Jones,” He began. _This should be good._ “But in order to analyze a novel, one must first _read_ the novel.” 

 

Ezekiel grinned smugly. “You’re forgiven, Mr. McGuire, because it just so happens that I read the book.” He’d actually taken it with him when he’d ran, on accident. It had been in his backpack, which he’d stuffed with clothes and shoved inside his duffel bag as a way to organize his stuff on the go. The first night he’d been on the road, sleeping in the truck, he’d taken it out and read it in order to resist the urge to check his phone or get lost in his own thoughts. And then he’d read it again the next night, and then the next. Who knew it took an emotional breakdown and a desperation to escape reality to get him to be able to focus on a book long enough to struggle through it?

“Well then, Hemingway, I expect a full presentation at the end of the week.” McGuire said, somewhat surprised. 

“Sounds like a plan.” Ezekiel replied confidently. 

\--------------

“I’M SO FUCKED!” Ezekiel cried out in anguish, once they’d sat down at the library after school. He’d spent all day worrying over the promise he’d made in Mcguire’s class. 

“Hush, Mr. Jones, this is still a Library. Despite you somehow managing to get all the bean bags in here.” Jenkins scolded him as he approached where they were all curled up in blue bean bag chairs, in between the conspiracy theory shelf and the fantasy shelf.

“Don’t be so prickly, you haven't taken them out. We know you’re really a big softie.” Cassandra said teasingly, shuffling her bean bag closer to Jake’s so she could lay her head on his shoulder while he openly read a very old book that was apparently written in Latin. 

“What is this you’re so distressed over?” Jenkins inquired down at them while he slid a thick book about Bigfoot into the shelf.

“He’s freaking out because he peacocked around and made everyone think he could give a big presentation on a book by Friday, and now he’s panicking because he doesn’t know how. Which he really needs to stop doing, because i’m going to help him.” Jake said matter of factly.

“You are?” Ezekiel asked. Jake squinted over at him.

“Of course I am, man. I’m coming over tonight, your mom already said yes. I can probably come over every night, we’ll nail the thing to the wall, don’t worry.” Jake said, grinning. Ezekiel flushed slightly, unable to stop a smile from spreading across his features. Jenkins raised an eyebrow over the word _mom_ , mentally filing away the development as he walked away.

“Well good luck, i’m sure between the two of you you can work something magical out!” Cassandra chirped supportively. Some of the tension left his frame. With Jake’s help, how bad could he do? 

\--------------

For the next two days, Ezekiel worked on sorting out all the work he needed to do, and Jake not only came over to help him with the language arts project, but gave him a hand with his history and some of his science. When he wasn’t at school they were studying (with the occasional Netflix break). Luckily, being as busy as he was seemed to be a reason to Eve to hold back on the Reynolds conversation. Ezekiel wondered how long he could keep stalling.

Halfway through their Wednesday study session, Jake got a text from his young cousin, begging to be picked up from a school function, as her ride had ditched her.

“Go, i’ll be fine. I need a break anyways.” Ezekiel insisted.

“You sure it’s alright?” Jake asked, already up and halfway into his jacket. Ezekiel scoffed, standing with him.

“Since when do I complain about getting to not do work?”

Once Jake was gone, Ezekiel pondered his options for a while, before coming to a decision. He pulled out his phone, and clicked on the messenger.

_**To: Lover Boy** _

_**Wanna shoot some hoops at the park?** _

\------------

“I let you win!” Tom huffed as they both sat down heavily on the ground, leaning up against the fence. The ice and snow had been cleared off the court by salt, but not on the grass, so the back of their pants where going to be wet. But they didn’t care. 

They sat there silently for a moment, taking deep breaths. Then Tom glanced over at him thoughtfully.

“So, what’s wrong?” He asked.

“What do you mean?” Ezekiel feigned.

“You’re distracted, and not in your normal ways. What’s up?” Tom asked, no bullshit about it. Ezekiel sighed, looking down at his lap.

“Jake and Cassandra...confessed their love to me. Both of them. Together.” He explained. Tom blinked.

“Damn, I wasn’t expecting that. Wait, why aren’t you happy? You’re head over heels for the two of them.” Tom asked quizzically. Ezekiel whipped to stare at him in shock.

“What? I’m - i’m not - “

“Oh, don’t even _start_. I know, okay? I know. And it’s fine.” Tom said sternly. Ezekiel blinked, and then flushed. 

“Of course I was happy. But…” 

“You _didn’t_.” Tom said, dread in his voice. Ezekiel sighed.

“I don’t deserve them. I had to nip it in the bud. But it’s okay, we’re still friends. But i’ve been wandering around in a state of shock ever since.” Ezekiel muttered.

“And now I get to wander around in a state of shock at how dumb you are!” Tom exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air.

“Oh, like you’re any better.”

“True.” 

\------------------

“On top of stressing over all this work,” Ezekiel sighed to Eve over dinner, “I lost half my customers, because I just randomly stopped showing up. I don’t want to tell them why I didn’t show, but I don’t want to lie, so…” 

“Tough break, kid. How about you just go to them and be as honest as you can? Just say you were indisposed for a few days, you’re sorry, and ready to make it up. Gotta go door to door, be personal.” Eve explained. Ezekiel considered this.

“You think that’ll work?” He asked. 

“Trust me.” She assured him. He hesitated, then nodded. 

“I’ll go out tomorrow. Unless i’m an emotional wreck after bombing in McGuire’s class.” Ezekiel said, grimacing as he remembered tomorrow was Friday. 

“Listen, kiddo.” Eve said firmly. “You better tell me if that old fart pulls any of his shit tomorrow, okay? If you don’t, Jake and Cassandra will.” Ezekiel rolled his eyes. 

“Sure.” He replied. Eve realized that they might not tell her again, because they seemed to deeply regret telling her the last thing they’d told her behind Ezekiel’s back. She sat back in her seat, suddenly deeply concerned. 

“Actually, on second thought, maybe I should just come down there during your period and pop in -” She started to say. Ezekiel’s eyes widened.

“No, no, no! You don’t need to do that!” He exclaimed.

“But-” She started.

“The last thing I need to help my social status is my mom coming to my class to hover over the teacher!” Ezekiel exclaimed, cutting her off again. But she just smiled brightly, a sudden rush of love and happiness pouring out of her expression. Ezekiel’s himself suddenly felt all warm and fuzzy on the inside, and he blushed. 

“Okay. I won’t intrude. But you better tell me if he starts shit, you hear?” She said sternly, pointing her index finger at him across the table.

“Whatever you say.” Ezekiel replied cockily, grinning wider. She rolled her eyes, returning her gaze down to her plate.

“...mom.” 

A smile split once against across the ex-colonel’s features, pointed down at the table, but radiant nevertheless.


	34. the gift of hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezekiel's first time really celebrating the holidays.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a shorter chapter, i'm not in a great place. But this is almost wrapped up! I am super excited for a character that's about to show up!

This was it. The highly awaited moment.

 

“Mr. Jones, I believe it’s your turn to present.” Came McGuire’s smug voice. Jake and Cassandra gave him looks of support. Ezekiel felt like he was going to throw up. For a moment, he couldn’t move. Then Jake grabbed into his knee, just enough to get Ezekiel to look up at him.

 

“You can do this,” Jake whispered. “Not just because I helped you. Because you really poured what you got from the book into this essay, and that’s what matters.” 

 

Ezekiel blinked. Jake’s hand was gone as soon as it had come, and Ezekiel found the strength to stand up and walked to the front of the class. He took a deep breath and smiled at the sea of blank faces. He had never felt a smile so fake in his life. He let it drop, and got down to business. Just get it over with! Say it with confidence, and they won’t question it. He took a deep breath, focusing as hard as he could on the words in front of him. They started to swim, and he fought a battle of will to keep them straight. Luckily, he’d practically memorized it, so just the vague swimming shapes of the words were familiar enough. 

 

“One of the most prominent themes in Fahrenheit 451 is paradoxes.” He began, swallowing as he paused. The silence was deafening in his ears.

 

“A paradox is the combination of contradictory things. In this novel, the people who are alive aren’t really living, and the inanimate objects always seem to have a life. People aren’t connecting anymore, unless it’s with devices. You can’t spend light - “ Fuck. He stumbled, and then corrected himself. “You can’t spend life disconnected from the people around you, or you aren’t really alive. The core message of Fahrenheit 451 is that you can’t have life without love.” 

 

He kept staring down at the paper while silence followed. He was too afraid to look up. Had he fucked it up? It wasn’t great, but it was better than he’d ever imagined he’d be able to do…

 

When he finally gathered the courage to look up, all the eyes in the classroom weren’t even on him anymore. They were on McGuire. McGuire was glaring Ezekiel down. While his face displayed decidedness, he seemed to be deliberating. Finally, he sat up a bit straighter, eyes gleaming and sharp as he addressed Ezekiel. 

 

“Average, at best. But impressive for someone of your caliber. Well done, Mr. Jones.” He announced. The class all collectively let out the breath they’d been holding. Ezekiel nodded, and hurried back to his seat. Jake and Cassandra were waiting for him, both of their faces beaming with an alarming amount of happiness. Ezekiel sat between them, slightly alarmed at their expressions.

 

“Did you guys bang while I was up there or something?” He whispered. Cassandra slapped his arm.

 

“No, silly, we’re proud of you!” She said. Ezekiel looked down at his phone instead of at their smiling faces, but couldn’t help but split into a warm grin. 

 

\--------------

 

“Come on, Stumpy! Bring it to me!” Jake called, hitting his hands against his thighs as he called to the dog from across the yard. Stumpy, a big red ball in his mouth, stood up to his chest in the crisp white snow as he stared between the three teenagers in front of him. 

“Don’t listen to him, bring it to me! C’mere sweetie, c’mere!” Cassandra cooed over Jake, getting down on her knees in the snow and patting the ground in front of her. The dog cocked his head between the two of the, undecided. Ezekiel just stood to the side watching, with his arms crossed. He watched his friends fight for the dog’s attention for a few more moments, before he decided to show them who the real boss was. 

 

Ezekiel uncrossed his arms as Cassandra resorted to trying to make barking noises, and it only took him one smug whistle. One whistle from Ezekiel, and Stumpy raced to his side without hesitation. Ezekiel laughed triumphantly as the three-legged dog dropped the ball at his feet, tail wagging in enthusiasm. Ezekiel picked it up and held it, smug in his victory. 

 

“Oh, come on, that’s not fair!” Cassandra complained.

“What do you mean, unfair?” Ezekiel asked.

 

“Of course he brought it to you, you’re his best friend!” Cassandra complained. 

 

“I don’t see you bringing Ezekiel any slobbery balls, and you’re his best friend too.” Jake pointed out. 

 

Cassandra threw her hands in the air in defeat. But really, as she turned away, she was only scheming for revenge. Her eyes lit up, and she dove to stick her bare hands in the snow, eager to cause mayhem. As fast as she’d stooped down, she slung up, slashing a huge wad of snow directly into Ezekiel’s face, sending him tumbling back into the bushes. Jake started to laugh so hard he tripped over an excited Stumpy, and landed face first in the snow himself. Cassandra stuck in her arms in the air and cried out in victory, as she was the last woman standing. 

 

In the house, Eve was standing by the living room window, sipping hot chocolate while she watched the kids play. Her heart swelled with affection. Besides her stood Jake’s aunt, Laurie, was standing next to her, enjoying the same scene. She was a sturdy woman, not to be trifled with. 

 

A silence between them was broken finally, as Laurie turned to address Eve.

 

“So, I hear you’re not a fan of the holidays?” She asked. Eve shrugged, looking down into her mug, feeling a bit on the spot.

 

“Never been my thing.” She replied. Laurie’s eyes flicked back to the yard.

 

“It’s never been their thing, either. Your boy and the redhead, I mean. Cassandra’s parents don’t do a lick of anything, and Ezekiel’s never had anyone to do anything. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. About that little girl alone on the holidays in a giant empty house, and that little boy alone in the streets somewhere on the holidays, probably just tryna stay warm. Breaks your heart, doesn’t it? Not to mention Jake, I mean, our family has always done a lot for the holidays. I always tried my best to give him and my girl good memories, even if Isaac didn’t always help. The last time Isaac spent the holidays with us, he threw a bottle at the wall next to Jake’s head. The boy didn’t even flinch. Just cleaned it up right away like it was nothing. I guess I should have known then.” She sighed, brown eyes lost in the past. 

“You can’t blame yourself,” Eve told her sincerely, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Almost everyone misses things like that until it’s too late. Because we love people, and we don’t want to see the worst in them. It’s not something you should feel bad for missing.” 

 

Laurie nodded up at her. “I reckon you’re right. But Eve, what i’m trying to say is...I know you don’t like the holidays, and that’s okay, not everyone does. But look at them! They’re still just kids. They’re just kids, and they all have more bad memories than I think even I have myself. Why don’t we do something, try and give them some good memories? Before it’s too late?” 

 

Eve blinked, and then turned to look out the window again. Her heart wrenched when it did - Jake was teaching Ezekiel how to make snow angels, and the poor boy looked more confused than if he’d been trying to read. 

 

“Of course. You’re right. We should do something.” Eve agreed. She was a mother now, she had to put her own discomfort aside.

 

Laurie’s face split into a huge grin. “I have just the thing in mind.” 

 

\--------------

 

“Hey Cassie,” Jake called, turning towards his girlfriend with a grin. “Wanna put the angel on?” 

 

Cassandra’s eyes widened, and her face split into the most excited smile Ezekiel had ever seen. She stood up and tittered across Laurie’s living room, which was heavily decorated, to join Jake by the large sparkling Christmas tree. Jake helped her up the step ladder and handed her the angel figurine once she reached the top. Cassandra happily adorned the top of the tree with it, and then Jake lifted her by her hips and swung her down off the ladder. They spun in a graceful circle, her dress flaring as he set her gently on the ground. She giggled (she had earlier drank some of the peppermint liqueur Ezekiel had brought in a flask, so she was a little tipsy) as she regained her balance, and pecked Jake on the cheek. 

 

Ezekiel's heart both melted and panged at the same time. Boy, was he one confused motherfucker. In the corner, Stumpy was asleep in his new plush dog bed Jake had bought him for Christmas. It was only Christmas Eve, but Jake was a big softie, and had given it to him early. 

 

He had been surprised when Eve had told him they'd be spending the night at Jake’s house for Christmas. She had admitted to hating celebrating the holiday, and yet here she was, sitting next to Flynn (who Cassandra had prompted her to invite) wearing a pair of fake reindeer antlers. A result of losing a bet to her soon-to-be adopted son. Man, that was hard for Ezekiel to wrap his head around. Even now, he could barely believe it. Someone actually loved him _so much_ , they wanted to be responsible for him forever? It was just impossible. 

 

And yet here he was, celebrating the holidays in a nice warm home surrounded by...family. Yes, that’s what this was. Family. 

 

“Ezekiel, honeybuns, is something wrong? You look a little bit pale…” Laurie worried, peering over at him over her cup of spiked hot cocoa. He smiled at the woman, his smile slightly unstable. 

 

“Just got dizzy all of the sudden. But i’m fine.” He assured her. Laurie raised a knowing eyebrow, and went back to sipping her cocoa. 

 

They watched a few classic holiday movies, with the adults taking up all the actual seats, and the kids doing their best to get comfortable on the floor with a pile of blankets and pillows Laurie had whipped up. Laurie herself was curled into her husband’s arm on the loveseat, looking like the picture perfect suburban couple. Jake’s aunt and uncle had big hearts, and had accepted not just Jake, but all of them, into it. Ezekiel could only marvel at how easily they had done it. How easy it was for some people, to look at someone and know they were trustworthy. Worth loving. Or maybe not, maybe they were just too stupid to know better. 

 

“Have you ever seen Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Ezekiel?” Cassandra asked eagerly, as Jake’s cousin Jessie slid the disc into the DVD player underneath the flat screen TV. 

 

“I watched a lot of cable when I was a kid. It was about all I did, actually.” Ezekiel replied, popping a handful of kettle corn in his mouth. Cassandra, Jake, and Ezekiel were all laying on their stomachs side by side, with pillows to prop up their elbows on. And with a giant bowl of kettle corn in front of you, and a movie about to play, what more could you ask for?

 

“Are you guys thirsty?” Jessie asked, as she laid down on the other side of Jake. She was a sweet girl, a few years younger than them, with braces and a penchant for horses. Yeah, she was _that_ girl. What more did you expect? 

 

All three of them replied in the positive, so Ezekiel stood up.

 

“I was gonna get us some juice!” Jessie protested, as she watched him stand. Ezekiel shook his head. 

 

“You just sat down, i’ll get it. I need to use the outhouse, anyways.” He said, jerking his thumb over his shoulder. Jessie conceded, turning back to the screen as Ezekiel left the room. Jake and Cassandra glanced at each other, and then jumped up to follow Ezekiel the minute he was around the corner of the doorway.

 

The adults and Jessie all glanced at each other, but said nothing. Cassandra and Jake were sure to stay quiet as they hung back at the start of the hallway, watching Ezekiel head into the bathroom. Once the bathroom door latched, Cassandra raced as softly as she could up the stairs and bolted for Jake’s room. She had hatched a plan the _second_ Eve had asked them to come to Laurie’s for Christmas. Jake had hesitantly agreed, after a lot of begging and convincing from his often-too-adorable girlfriend. There was a devious mind hidden behind those cute red beanies, that was for sure. 

 

While Cassandra retrieved the instrument, Jake stood in the middle of the hallway, nervously straightening his shirt and pulling up his pants. He licked his palm and ran his hand back through his hair, to make sure it hadn’t squished weirdly. God, he hoped he didn’t have bad breath. 

 

He heard a giggle above him, and looked up to see Cassandra leaning over the railing of the landing at the second floor. She had Jessie’s fishing pole - which Jessie had gladly donated to their cause - with a mistletoe tied to the hook. She held the pole over the railing and started to unreel the line, slowly lowering it down till it was a few feet above Jake. Her face was split into the most self-satisfied grin Jake had ever seen. 

 

The door to the bathroom opened, and Jake smiled nervously, unsure what to do at this point. He hadn’t really thought this through. Ezekiel frowned at him in confusion as he approached, and Jake didn’t move. Since Jake was standing smack in the middle of the hallway, Ezekiel was forced to come to a stop a step or so in front of him. 

 

“Uhhh...you okay there Cowboy?” Ezekiel asked, glancing over his shoulder to see if there was anything interesting. Jake swallowed nervously, and opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Ezekiel and Jake just stared at each other for a moment, both seeming to be equally confused. Finally, a _pssst_ from above them caused them both to look directly up. Cassandra waved down at Ezekiel and then pointed her index finger at the mistletoe dangling above her two friends. Ezekiel’s eyes widened, and then he whipped to stare at Jake.

 

“What is this?” Ezekiel asked, in slight alarm. Jake rubbed the back of his neck.

 

“Well, you kissed Cassandra, and you seemed to be held up on that...so she thought it would be a good idea if we evened the scale. Per se…” Jake tried to explain, looking anywhere but into Ezekiel’s eyes. Ezekiel blinked.

 

“Oh…” He said slowly, as the explanation washed over him. Above them, Cassandra was getting impatient. 

 

“KISS THE GIRL!” Cassandra called, in her most theatrical voice. So loud, everyone in the living room _must_ have heard it. They both glanced up at her again, and then back into each other’s wide eyes, both of them burning red. 

 

“You don’t have to, it wasn’t the most well thought out -” Jake started to backtrack, but before he could finish the sentence, Ezekiel’s arms were around his neck and their lips were pressed together. Ezekiel was warm, warmer than Jake expected. Jake responded almost immediately once he realized what was happening, pulling Ezekiel up even closer as he twisted his head to fit their mouths together better. Jake’s lips were too chapped, and Ezekiel’s heart was beating so hard Jake could feel it in his own chest. 

 

They pulled away after a push and a pull, both of them even redder than before. Ezekiel’s hands were shaking - and bare. Jake did a double take, his embarrassment forgotten. 

 

“Where are you gloves?” Jake asked, as Cassandra bounded down the stairs and down the hall to join them, having left the fishing pole upstairs. 

 

“In my pocket. I took them off in the bathroom.” Ezekiel said, looking at the floor. Cassandra and Jake exchanged a glance, and then they both reached to take one of Ezekiel’s hands in their own as they walked back to the living room.

 

Luckily, as they settled back down into their blankets, nobody asked any questions. 

 

\-------------

 

“You sure it’s alright for them to all sleep in the same room together?” Flynn asked. Eve and Laurie both gave him an exasperated look. The three of them were cleaning up the dishes from dinner, while everyone else got ready for bed. 

 

“They’re almost adults. And Ezekiel’s there. It’d be weird and creepy for a couple to do anything around their friend like that.” Eve said. 

 

Flynn turned away, whistling. “I wouldn’t be so sure…”

 

Eve turned to look at him, raising her eyebrow. “What are you saying?” She asked.

 

Flynn shook his head. Eve crossed her arms, standing up straighter. Laurie repressed a snicker from behind her as she watched the scene unfold. 

 

“What did you mean by that?” Eve demanded once more. Flynn smiled smugly, shaking his head as he dried a plate. 

 

“It's not my place.” He replied simply.

 

“How convenient for you.” Eve stated dryly. 

 

\----------

 

Ezekiel woke up in the middle of the night, blinking as he sat up. Cassandra was sound asleep on the bed, and Jake was snoring in the floor besides him. He looked around for any indicator as to what had woken him up. He had always been a particularly light sleeper. 

 

He’s about to go back to sleep and dismiss it, when he hears shuffling downstairs. The hairs instantly stand up on the back of the neck, and his mind assumes a burglar. He remembers how many houses he broke into on Christmas Eve. It’s every thief’s favorite part of the year. All those valuables, clearly marked by wrapping paper and bows.

 

His phone tells him it’s 1: 03 AM. Perfect time to strike, every must be asleep right now. They’d never know what hit them.

 

Luckily, Ezekiel was here. And he didn’t take lightly to other people trying to take from him. He only had so much - these people, that was it. He’d be damned if he let their Christmas get ruined. 

 

The boy crept down the stairs, hearing more shuffling as he approached the first floor. The sounds were coming from the living room. He moved stealthily down the hallway, and was happy to find a baseball bat nestled in the corner. _Thank god for rednecks,_ Ezekiel thought to himself, as he picked up the weapon and held it in anticipation. He finally reached the doorway to the living room, and with one last deep breath, spun to face the intruder, bat held high. 

 

“Jesus, it’s just me!” Eve exclaimed, jumping back and putting her hands in the air. Ezekiel blinked, and let the bat drop to his side. 

 

“Eve? What are you doing down here?” He hissed. Eve brushed a stray hair away from her face.

 

“I’m playing Santa. I drew the short straw.” She huffed, gesturing to a garbage bag on the floor full of presents Ezekiel had yet to see. Ezekiel frowned.

 

“Wow...people really do that? I thought parent’s only did that for little kids.” He asked. 

 

“Laurie’s a stickler for tradition, and i’m a little tipsy, so I said whatever...go back to bed, or i’ll put coal in your stocking!” Eve threatened, waving to the door. Ezekiel set the bat against the wall and then moved towards the tray of cookies. 

 

“Yeah, sure. If there’s gonna be coal in my stocking it’s already there.” He dismissed, reaching to take a bite out of one of the cookies Laurie had baked for Santa.

 

“Hey, those are for me!” Eve protested, in a whisper yell. Ezekiel rolled his eyes at her.

 

“You hate oatmeal cookies.” He replied, taking another delicious bite. 

 

“Oatmeal doesn’t belong in dessert!” Eve justified. 

 

“Picky, picky, picky...try telling that to people from Oklahoma.” Ezekiel said, finishing the cookie and licking his fingers before he reached for the next one. 

 

Eve gave up, and went back to stacking the presents under the tree. Ezekiel watched her work as he finished off the cookies, lost in his own thoughts.

 

Once she was done, she wiped her hands on her pajama pants and came to stand beside him, chugging the entire glass of milk.

 

“Thirsty.” Ezekiel commented, as she set the empty glass back down and wiped her mouth.

 

“Tipsy and dehydrated, there’s a difference. Now, we should both be getting back to bed.” She said, poking him in the shoulder. Ezekiel was about to give in, but then he hesitated. 

 

“First, I want to give you something. Is that okay?” He asked, not looking her in the eyes. She frowned curiously.

 

“What is it?” She asked. Instead of answering, Ezekiel walked around her and reached into the bowels of the tree, pulling a small palm sized gift. He turned and handed it to her, nervously. She frowned as she to it - it felt solid and heavy. It was wrapped in green foil, with _to: Eve from: Ezekiel_ written in sharpie.

 

“Just because it’s after midnight doesn’t mean we can start opening Christmas presents.” Eve chastised. Ezekiel shook his head.

 

“It’s not a Christmas present. It’s a birthday present. Sort of.” Ezekiel admitted. Eve blinked, taken aback. She hadn’t been expecting this. She swallowed, turning her attention to the package. She opened the foil with careful hands, pulling it away to reveal a handprint, of blue paint on wood, with the words _haPPy MoMs Day_ painted on it in shaky, hard to read, messy scrawl. The wood was cracked in the back, and duct taped together. The paint was faded, there were some stains on the corners of the wood, and water damage on the bottom. The whole thing was scratched all over. 

 

“The first time I ever went to school they made us do this for mother’s day, but I had nobody to give it to, so I kept it. I kinda forgot about it, it was in the back of the bag i’ve had for years. I found it when I was running away. I know it’s not mother’s day and that it’s a piece of shit but I guess I though-” Ezekiel was in the middle of rapidly explaining his gift when Eve cut him off with a hug. A hug so tight Ezekiel thought he might suffocate. He returned the embrace, surprised to feel hot tears spilling down Eve’s face onto his shoulder. 

 

“It’s perfect.” She whispered, and he closed his eyes to avoid matching her tear for tear.


	35. the changing of the seasons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final piece of the puzzle is finally revealed, and Eve has everything she needs to wage the war she's been aching for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come talk to me at queerseth.tumblr.com
> 
> season three is in a week! i'm so excited!

The holidays came and went in a blur of emotion and light. On New Year's Eve, Jake and Cassandra had both chosen to kiss him on either cheek, as opposed to each other. His face burned red almost every time he was around the couple now. He didn't know how to react to their affection, he didn't know what to think of this new unspoken dynamic between them. It wasn’t romantic, because of course he had said he didn’t feel that way and they respected that...but more and more they pushed closer and closer across that line. And the thing was, he didn’t make any move to push back. He couldn’t help but accept the affection, even invite more silently. God, he didn’t know what he was doing anymore. He was playing a dangerous game, his more cynical instincts worried. He felt like he was walking a very thin line. 

 

Not to mention, the elephant that followed him into every room. The Reynolds. The sob story of the poor little foster kid who got beat up by the mean foster parents. He knew that was what they thought, and he...he didn’t know anymore. He was all sorts of conflicted and it just drove him crazy to even start to try and unravel the knots. He just wanted it to go away. Was that really too much to ask for? Was it really too much to ask for just a fresh start?

 

Nobody had pushed the subject since Eve’s mention of a lawyer, but he knew they were thinking about it. He saw it in their eyes. He saw it when they hesitated to touch him, sometimes. As if they could ever hurt him. They’d established that well and clear. 

 

At least, nobody had pushed it until today.

 

“That’s really taking a long time to fade, isn’t it?” Cassandra asked, tone full of worry, as Jake changed his sweaty shirt after a round on Laurie’s treadmill. Jake liked to go on jogs every Saturday morning, like some sort of crazy person. But in the winter, in Oregon, that was a bit hard to do. So, he made up for it on the treadmill while Cassandra and Ezekiel studied. Well, one of them was studying. Surprisingly, it was Ezekiel. Cassandra was reading a book on advanced quantum physics and french braiding her hair. 

 

Cassandra was, of course, referring to the last few bruises left scattered on Jake’s inner torso from his father. Who had yet to turn up anywhere. _Good riddance_ , Ezekiel thought to himself, as he worked on his online classes on his laptop. 

 

Jake paused slightly, before finishing pulling his shirt on. He shrugged. 

 

“I guess I just heal slower.” He replied. 

 

“No, your normal bruises healed pretty quickly.” Ezekiel countered, not even bothering to look away from his screen. “Your dad wore steel toed boots. They leave fucking deep bruises, man. John once left boot prints on my ribs for a month.” 

It had slipped out so matter of factly, so casually. He hadn’t even realized he’d said it until it was too late. He froze, blinking ahead of him at his laptop screen, wondering why on Earth he’d thought it was okay to share that. 

 

Naturally, Jake and Cassandra got real quiet, real fast. He glanced over, and Cassandra was looking at him sincerely, while Jake was gazing at the ground in contemplation. Cassandra glanced over at Jake, before looking back at Ezekiel. 

 

“Neither of you talk about it.” She whispered. 

 

“Well, of course he doesn’t want to,” Jake said, shrugging. “And how could I?” 

 

“What do you mean?” Ezekiel asked, eyebrows furrowing. Jake looked down at the floor.

 

“I got pushed around a little and got my mattress taken away. Big deal. You…” Jake’s voice abandoned him, and he just shook his head. Ezekiel’s eyes widened in realization. He shut his laptop, sitting up straight. 

 

“You think you shouldn’t complain because you think I had it worse?” Ezekiel asked incredulously. Jake didn’t reply, but that was all the confirmation Ezekiel needed.

 

“No no no no, that's not how this works. Those are two completely different situations, you can't compare them like that!” Ezekiel protested. Jake sat down on the bed next to Cassandra, looking at Ezekiel in confusion.

 

“I don't see what you mean. I had a bad week, you’ve been getting beaten down by people who were supposed to be takin care of you for god knows how long!” Jake replied. Ezekiel started to shake his head.

 

“It's not the same.” Ezekiel bit out.

 

“What do you mean?” Jake asked, eyes squinting in further confusion. Tension built in Ezekiel, until it finally snapped.

 

“You didn't deserve it!” Ezekiel exclaimed. Silence rang out after the words. He looked back and forth between the widening eyes of his friends. They both looked suddenly horrified, and he knew what they were going to say. 

 

“Ezekiel, you don't still think you deserved it, do you?” Cassandra breathed. Ezekiel gulped, and looked away from them. He started to pull his notebooks back into his bag. They watched him stand up with heavy hearts.

 

“I need to go.” He said roughly, still not looking at them. Then he was gone out the door, and Jake wrapped an arm around Cassandra to keep her from bursting into tears. 

 

\---------

 

Ezekiel stressed for the next few days over the conversation. He was worried they'd try to press the issue, so he found himself avoiding them for a little. Which didn't do him any good, because the second they finally managed to get him alone, it didn't go well. Well, if you can count with Eve present as alone.

 

Ezekiel should have known that Jake and Cassandra wouldn't let him get away with being distant. He was sitting on the couch when he heard the curt knock on the door, and he sighed. Here it was, it had been coming his way the whole time. 

 

“Hey, guys! Zeke’s in the living room.” Eve said happily as she greeted her guests, leading the couple into the room where her soon-to-be son was. Ezekiel looked up at them, unable to hide the guilt in his face. He looked like a deer caught in headlights. 

 

Jake and Cassandra looked troubled, but resolved. Eve glanced between all of them for the initial moment of silence as she realized something was going down. 

 

“Do you guys want me to give you some privacy?” She asked awkwardly. 

 

“No. This involves you.” Cassandra told her. Eve’s brow furrowed in concern.

 

“No, she doesn't - she doesn't need to be here for this…” Ezekiel protested, somewhat weakly. 

 

“She cared about you, and she knows better than anybody that you didn't deserve it.” Jake said sternly. Ezekiel flinched, and looked down at his lap. Eve’s face settled into solemn realization.

 

“You’re talking about the Reynolds, aren't you?” She asked.

 

“Those awful, horrible, evil, abusive-” Cassandra started to curse, her hands balling into fists. Ezekiel couldn't bear it. He stood up, balling his own fists to hold the tension coursing through him.

 

“Stop it! Don't talk about them like that!” He exclaimed, somewhat desperately. Even after everything he’d done, he was still dragging their name through the mud. He couldn't stand it. 

 

Jake and Cassandra both stared at him, in utter and complete confusion.

 

“But...they hurt you! Maria burned you!” Cassandra exclaimed in confusion. Ezekiel just shook his head. Eve’s face softened, eyes full of heavy wisdom.

 

“You haven't tried to explain this part to them yet, have you?” Eve asked softly. Ezekiel looked over at her helplessly, almost begging her to save him from this situation. But Eve clenched her jaw, unsure of what to do.

 

“Explain what? Do you understand what is going on?” Jake asked her. Eve shrugged.

 

“He's only told me a little bit…” Eve sighed. Ezekiel crossed his arms, feeling more and more on edge. This was starting to feel like they were all ganging up on him. 

 

“Ezekiel, please, don't take this as an attack. We just want to understand. We all just want to understand you so badly, because we love you. You don't have to be afraid of us.” Cassandra begged, taking a step towards him. Ezekiel glanced between all of their open, desperate expressions. He gulped, thinking over the situation. Maybe...maybe they could understand. Maybe if he really tried to explain himself, completely, they'd finally understand. And then they would all be on the same page, and he could focus on becoming a better, realer person without worrying about everyone thinking he's some innocent victim that's gonna snap.

 

“They were helping me. At first. They didn’t - They were helping me.” Was all Ezekiel could bring himself to say. 

 

“How is hurting you helping you?” Jake asked. “You said that I didn’t deserve it when my dad hurt me, why are you any different?” 

 

“I asked them too!” Ezekiel practically shouted all the sudden, the truth ripping out of him like a bird free of a cage, frantic and ready to rip itself apart in the name of freedom.

 

They all took a step back, shocked at his outburst. Three pairs of wide eyes reflected back his own horror and confusion. But they needed to understand. Ezekiel swallowed thickly and stood up straighter, setting his jaw steady. 

 

“I - I was desperate. To get away from some people who i’d pissed off. So, I stowed away on a boat and came here - it really wasn’t that hard - and I was having the time of my life! Until I got caught. And the guy who caught me was good. I lied and told them I was born here, but they couldn’t find anything on me. I kept trying to get away but they were too good - they knew I was a hard case so they sent me to the Reynolds. And Freya - Freya came, and she said they were the nicest people in the world. They specialized in turning problem kids into perfect role models. The more people raved about them the more - the more I started to have a little hope. I thought maybe this is it, maybe this was my chance to become someone better. Someone real, someone who’s life was _worth_ something!” He gushed. Cassandra took a slight step forward, and he could feel the righteous pity radiating from her. The same righteous pity she herself abhorred. 

 

“Ezekiel, you -” She started softly, but he cut her words from the air.

 

“No! You don't get to tell me I was always worth something! You don't know what it's like to be nothing! Nobody! I didn't exist! I didn't even have a real name!” Ezekiel exclaimed, emotions pouring from his face, urging them to understand. 

 

“I had no identity, nobody even knew I was alive!” Ezekiel exclaimed. “I didn't know anything - I couldn't read, write, I could barely talk - the only things I could do was steal things to eat and places to sleep. People wouldn't look at me! Anyone who saw me looked away or right through me! I wasn't just invisible, I wasn't just alone, I wasn't just uneducated. I was basically an animal! I was nothing! I felt like I was losing my mind! Do you understand me? I was _nothing_!” He might have been shouting or he might have been crying, he didn't know. He watched as the pale faces in front of him slowly nodded. 

 

He took a moment to breath, reaching to pinch the bridge of his nose as he turned away. _Just get through this while you can. It's the best shot you’ve got._ He told himself.

 

“You have no idea how badly I just wanted to do whatever they told me to. I tried so hard, harder than I have in my entire life. They - they were so nice. And they taught me so much. But they couldn't - I couldn't - I messed it all up. I couldn't stop stealing. No matter how hard I tried, no matter what they did, I couldn't stop. I’d last a week, tops.” He sighed in shame. 

 

“Ezekiel,” Cassandra asked softly. “Are you a kleptomaniac?” 

 

“Uh, I don't think so? What I'm talking about is something else I think, but who knows, maybe I am. Another fucked up thing to add to my list…” Ezekiel scoffed, squeezing his eyes shut against the flood of feelings. 

 

“If you have something like that wrong with you, it's not your fault, it doesn't make you any less of a good person. Especially if you’ve spent this long fighting against it.” Cassandra reassured him, stepping forward more to put a hesitant hand on his shoulder. He glanced at her, but only for a moment.

 

“I was Pinocchio and I thought they were going to be my Blue Fairy. I thought they could finally make me a real person.” Ezekiel sighed. 

“Ezekiel, you _are_ -” Jake started to say, but Ezekiel was ready to cut back again.

 

“I wasn’t. Not then. That’s what i’m trying to tell you.” He nearly snapped. Jake’s mouth fell closed. Another beat of silence. Almost done, almost there…

 

“I...couldn’t stop stealing because every time I did, I started to feel bad again. Numb, and invisible, and empty...nothing they did could fix it. And stealing, even when I didn’t need to anymore, it just...it made me feel better. It made me feel like I was real, like I mattered, even if it was in a bad way. Because by stealing, I was taking something away from someone else,” Ezekiel reached out in front of him and pantomimed taking something away from someone else and pulling it towards himself. He glanced towards the others again, shame blossoming over his features.

 

“I know it’s wrong, I knew, but...if I take something _away_ from someone else, it means i’m affecting them. It means that I did something that mattered.” He explained, shrugging. 

“I think I understand that. Cause and effect.” Jake said, brow furrowing thoughtfully as he watched Ezekiel, gears turning behind his eyes at the speed of light. 

 

“Only something that takes up space can be matter. Only something that takes up space and does work can affect its surroundings.” Cassandra added, eyes lightening as she found a way to translate the idea into a scientific concept. Ezekiel turned to her, nodding.

 

“Exactly!”

 

“So, you can’t stop stealing, because it was the only thing that made you feel like you were taking up space?” Jake asked in concern. Ezekiel looked at him, and then over at Eve. 

 

“No. I _couldn’t_ stop stealing, back then. I don’t have that problem anymore. I...found something else to make me feel like I was...taking up space, like you said.” He said, waving his hand towards the three of them. 

 

“Us? We make you feel like that?” Cassandra realized, her eyes starting to get glassy. Ezekiel offered her a small smile, a bead of light in the dark landscape that was being revealed to them. Finally, all the pieces were coming together. 

 

Then, his smile fell away. 

 

“They tried everything, but - nothing worked. Nothing. And they were too nice, they never resorted to physical discipline with kids, it was like their thing...but I couldn’t stand to disappoint them, I was desperate, I asked them -” Ezekiel was suddenly overcome with emotional. Conflicting feelings and voices suddenly gushed through his mind, causing him to feel somewhat dizzy. He took a deep breath and put his face in his hands, partly to orient himself, partly out of shame. 

 

“Ezekiel, are you trying to say...you asked them to hit you?” It was Eve’s voice now, the first time Eve had spoken in a while…

 

Full of conflict and dread, Ezekiel pulled his hands away and took a deep breath, shrugging as he slowly nodded. 

 

There was a long moment of silence, nobody knew what to say or think as they processed the… interesting information.

 

“I ruined them!” Ezekiel finally exclaimed in despair, breaking the silence. He pulled away from them to pace across the room, suddenly full of anger. 

 

“Ezekiel-” Eve tried to say, but it was no good.

 

“They were fine until me, don’t you understand, Eve?” He sighed, turning to her in self-defeat. He spread his hands apart in the empty air, somewhat helplessly. “This isn’t some long lived plot. This isn’t some thing that’s been going on to every kid for as long as they’ve been together. It isn’t...it isn’t like that. You can’t ruin their lives, the lives of all those kids who are perfectly fine. It was just _me_!” 

 

Eve started to shake her head as he slowly moved towards her, pursing her lips. “Ezekiel, no, it’s not -” She tried to say, in vain. 

 

“It is!” He stamped his foot for emphasis, halting in his approach. He took a stand, pointing at his chest. 

 

“It was _me_. I was too much for them to handle, and when they were at their most insecure, I - “ He halted over a hitch in his throat, swallowing it down. The truth belonged in the air, no longer trapped in his lungs. “I drove them to it. And then I abandoned them. I told you in the beginning. They never did anything wrong. Nothing that was their fault.” 

 

Eve, along with the others, stared at him in absolute heartbreak. And the pain didn’t know what direction to go in, so it was stuck clouding up their minds. Ezekiel took the last few steps forward, taking Eve’s hands in his. He was _begging_ , now, just like he had then. Then he turned and looked desperately at Jake and Cassandra.

 

“I know you love me. I love you too, I really do. I know you just want to help me. Well, please, god, you can help me by just forgetting about all of that. Please, I don’t need justice or anything like that. If anything, I need redemption. But just- please, forget about all of that. I don’t need that, and I don’t want it. I need a fresh start. Please. All I want is you guys, and this place, to be a home, to be a home that I do good by. I’ve learned from all my mistakes, I just want to work towards the future, please. Please, just let the past stay in the past.” 

 

He whipped to look back at Eve, who was frozen, holding his hands limply, tears in her eyes. He took another deep breath, imploring her as best as he could with his eyes. He squeezed her hands. 

 

“That includes my mother. No more looking for her. No more wondering. She’s gone. But you’re here, you’ll always be here, you proved that, I know that now! I want to be your son just as much as you want to be my mother. Let the past stay in the past, please?” He was speaking much softer now, a near intimate request. It made her spine tremble. She bit her lip, closing her eyes, and finally breathing for the first time in what felt like an eternity. 

 

“Eve, we -” Cassandra started to say, but Eve whipped her hand up and held it in front of the girl’s face, cutting her off. 

 

“Ezekiel, can you give me and the happy couple a moment to talk alone?” Eve asked calmly, forcing herself to collect her bearings as she opened her eyes and smiled down at the boy. 

 

Jake and Cassandra looked at each other, as Ezekiel blinked up at Eve. He pulled away from her. 

 

“Uh, okay, I guess…” He said, awkwardly moving past them to head into the other room. Eve turned, watching him go, her heart feeling like it was going to tear itself into shreds and then weave a blanket from the remains. So that she could cover him and keep him safe from harm, of course. 

 

“Eve, what the hell? That can’t be - this can’t be right! You can’t think he’s right!” Jake hissed, once they were sure Ezekiel was out of earshot. She whipped to make intense eye contact with him. Her gaze was blazing, full of a sudden determination.

“Of course I don’t think he’s right. I think the Reynolds have had so much practice with this gig, that they’ve perfected brainwashing. And Ezekiel was a beyond perfect subject. They twisted his head up so much, they managed to convince him to blame himself for them being abusive when he knows they are abusive. They knew…” Eve look down at the floor, the truth dawning on her further as she began to think about the tactical sense of John Reynolds and the understanding that Maria had for the human psyche. “...they knew his natural instinct was too strong, he was too smart for that, no matter how uneducated. So they made sure to shut all the doors on him, so he only has himself to blame. The wool is pulled so far over his eyes, we’ll never get it off on our own.” Eve declared. 

 

“Oh, god. How do we help him?” Cassandra breathed. 

 

“We have to pretend we agree with him right now, we have to let him think everything is the way he wants it so he won’t run. And then, i’m going to go get proof. The cold, hard, undeniable evidence is the only thing that’s going to pull that boy into the real world.” Eve said firmly, a nearly excited gleam in her eye. 

 

“Evidence of what? They beat him and scarred him for life, what does he need evidence of?” Cassandra asked in confusion. 

 

“I don’t need evidence of them abusing _him,_ ” Eve replied. “I need evidence of them abusing their _other_ kids. Don’t you see? He just gave us the final piece of the puzzle. That’s what staples the whole mess together. The idea that it was just him. While, I refuse to believe that. I refuse. And I know just the person to help me prove it. I just need you two to play along and keep him happy until I get back, do you understand that?” Eve asked, pointing at the two of them. Jake and Cassandra turned to exchange a glance, before looking back at her, looking sick.

 

“Okay. We’ll play along. How long will it take?” Jake asked softly, sounding uneasy. 

 

“I don’t know. Hopefully, not long. A week, maybe two. Until I can complete the first part of my plan at least. Okay, let’s do this.” She decided, turning away from them and stepping towards the doorway. As she called Ezekiel back into the room, Jake and Cassandra looked at each other again, both thinking the same thing : _**first** part?_

 

Ezekiel shuffled back into the room, eyeing them with worry. Eve clasped her hands inside of each other, glancing towards the two of them, as if to say _be cool_. 

 

“Ezekiel,” She started, facing melting into empathy and resignation. They attempted to adopt the same expression. “We understand. At least, we’re trying to. And we want to respect your wishes. We’ll let it go. It’s in the past. And now you’re future is with us, and nobody has to worry about hurting each other again, okay?” She asked. 

Ezekiel’s eyes welled up with tears, and he rushed forward to wrap his arms around her, flooded with relief. Every muscle in his body finally lost it’s last ounce of residual tension. He finally had nothing to worry about. 

 

Over his shoulder, Eve’s face fell into a grimace. As she embraced the boy back, she prayed to every star in the sky, _please help me find the truth_. 

 

\---------------------

 

“What kinda business trip is it?” Ezekiel asked the next day, legs swinging back and forth as he swiveled in the high stool at the kitchen counter. Eve riffled through her purse, searching anxiously for her phone.

 

“Well, my friend’s father just died, and she really needs my help with it. Luckily, work is paying for me to get over there, because her father was a cop and so is she.” Eve lied. Ezekiel knew that Eve _never_ did anything spontaneously, and would have told him about a trip weeks in advance. So, she had to make up something insane and severe, to keep him from being suspicious. Especially after the extremely heavy conversation they had last night. She was still rattled from it. 

 

She finally found her phone and finished paying for her ride to the airport. It should be here soon, then. 

 

“Alright, well, I hope everything goes alright. I’ll hold down the fort while you’re away.” Ezekiel assured her. She gave him a look, shaking her head as she slung her bag over her shoulder and grabbed her luggage. 

 

“Uhm, no. Sorry, kiddo, but the Sheriff will have my ass if I leave you unattended for this long. You stole a car and dumped it in a scrap shop, remember? It wasn’t easy to get you out of that, so you’re going to be dealing with a roommate for a week or so, alright? And I swear to god, you better be nice to him, because it was a miracle I got someone to drop everything for this long -” She started to stand up straighter, ready to rant, and Ezekiel held up a hand. 

 

“Okay, okay! Whoever it is, I promise, i’ll get along with them. Who is it?” He asked. Eve opened her mouth to answer, when the doorbell rang. Her face lit up, and she spun around, heading for the foyer. 

 

“There he is!” She said. Ezekiel chased after her, dreading whoever it was. That weird old lady from across the street that Eve loved? Jenkins? Laurie? 

 

When he rounded the corner of the doorway to the kitchen, he came to find that Eve already had the doorway open. Mr. Carsen - Flynn - was standin there, with a suitcase. He grinned at Ezekiel. 

“What’s up, mate?” He said, in a mock Australian accent. Ezekiel squinted at him, and Eve grimaced, shaking her head. Flynn’s grin fell. 

 

“Oh. Sorry.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck. Eve sighed, shaking her head.

 

“Alright! You two, you know the rules. Stumpy goes to the care during the school day, and gets a walk right after he gets home, and then a few hours of being allowed to go in and out before the back door is locked for the night. Every night, all the doors locked, okay?” She instructed. Ezekiel rolled his eyes. 

 

“Whatever you say, mom, god. I know how to take care of my dog!” He complained. Eve huffed, and then spun to address Flynn more directly. 

 

“Ezekiel has online classes in the morning, and then normal classes in the afternoon. If you can help him with anything, please, please, do, okay? Thank you again, so much, for doing this. Make sure he has money everyday for lunch, if he doesn’t have it ready to go. You can sleep in my room or the guest room, whatever you want. Eat whatever you want, there’s an envelope with five hundred bucks that’s only for food or emergencies, okay?” 

“Eve, really, we’ll be fine!” Flynn said, cutting her off to gesture outside. Through the window in the door, they could see a car had rolled up. “Isn’t that your ride?”

Eve bit her lip, and moved past Flynn to open the door. Before she stepped through it, however, she turned back to Flynn. 

 

“If Ezekiel has a panic attack, call Jake. He knows what to do.” She whispered, but Ezekiel still heard it, and his face turned red in mortification. Eve winced, waved at him, mouthed _”I love you”_ and then she was gone out the door. Ezekiel and Flynn watched out the door as she drove away, and then Ezekiel pushed it closed. There was a moment of silence. 

 

“I don’t, like, have panic attacks all the time or anything…” Ezekiel said, voice somewhat rough. Flynn nodded. 

“Oh, oh, of course not. Yeah, I totally understand. Uh…” He cleared his throat awkwardly. “I’ll go put my bags away in the guestroom, then, and then we’ll do something for dinner. Craving anything?” He asked. The younger boy’s eyes lit up, gleaming with desire. He grinned, rocking back on his heels. 

 

“Pizza sound good to you?” 

 

\--------------------

 

Eve sat alone in a diner, the rest of the day later, on the east side of New York City. It was evening now, here, and the city roared with incandescent shadows. She had no friends here, anymore, besides the Reynolds. Not that they counted as friends anymore. Besides, they only lived here part of the year. Part of the year in Denver. But it was _here_ that she would tear them down.

 

No, she had no friend with a dead father waiting for her. She was waiting for someone else, however. The one person she could count on to help her do what needed to be done to figure this mess out once and for all. The steam from her coffee rose to her nostrils, and she inhaled deeply, relaxing as she exhaled the pleasant aroma. She had a moment of relaxation, at least, until a familiar british accent wafted up from behind her.

 

“Duchess, we meet again.”


	36. devil's advocate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eve's quest to the get justice against the Reynolds begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! Super close to the end! Thanks for sticking with this for a whole year guys! _(It was the one year anniversary back in November!)_

The man across from her. What a puzzle. She was sure she had him figured out by now. She had thought she’d been in love with him, once upon a time. But that was then, and this was now. They were still friends. She had called in a favor, and he had come without hesitation. 

“Duchess, to what may I owe the occasion?” Moriarty asked, sipping his tea. 

“I...have a son now.” She started. Moriarty’s eyebrow raised, and his eyes flicked down to her torso. She screwed up her face, throwing a sugar packet at him.

“No, you idiot! I’m adopting him. He’s a teenager.” Eve clarified. Moriarty nodded.

“So, what do you need my help with? The legal part?” He asked, taking another drink of his tea. 

“No, the adoption isn’t what I need you for. Look...he was with John and Maria, before me. But it didn’t go well with them.” She started, unsure how to explain this. 

“It didn’t go well with John and Maria? That’s a first.” Moriarty commented. Eve gritted her teeth.

“That’s the point, James.” She said lowly, her expression solemn. “It isn’t the first time. They abused him. Badly, so badly. They did the most horrible things to him. They’re frauds. And the thing is, they’ve convinced Ezekiel he’s the only one they hurt. But I _know_ he’s not, James. You have to believe me. They’ve been hurting kids for years and we need to get justice for all of them.” 

Moriarty’s smile had fallen away, and his expression was as serious as the plague. 

“That is...disturbing. But I always knew there was something off with them.” Moriarty admitted, eyes distant. 

“You did? I didn’t, I never knew…” Eve sighed, frowning down into her mug. 

“Do not blame yourself, Duchess. You see the best in people. It’s not your fault that people take advantage of that. Now, how do you plan to take down some of the most well venerated people in the country?” The man asked, puffing out his chest. He was ready to do whatever she asked. He had always had so much trust in her. Eve looked up at him, and she couldn’t help it. Her face slowly split into a predatory grin.

“Oh, I have a plan.”

“You are truly terrifying sometimes, Duchess.”

\-------------------

Anger coursed through Eve as she glared up at the building. It had been a while since she’d been to the Reynolds’ New York home. It looked comfortable, and full of light. She nearly snarled at the sight of it, her hatred burned so hot. Moriarty sat in the passenger seat besides her, watching her with wary eyes. 

There was only one other car in the parking lot. John’s. _Perfect,_ Eve thought. They climbed out of the car, and Moriarty followed her up the steps. She banged on the deep red door. 

John was smiling when he opened the door. _Smiling._ But his smile quickly dropped when he saw the murderous anger in Eve’s expression, and the solemn doom in Moriarty’s presence. 

“To what do I owe to the pleasure, you two?” John asked. God, the very sound of his voice, his presence, it made Eve nearly lose it. But she had to keep it together. 

“We know what you are.” Eve sneered. John’s eyes widened, and then blinked, and then laughed nervously. 

“I’m sure I have no idea -” He started to say, going to push the door closed. Eve’s foot whipped to shove the door back open, causing John to stumble back in surprise. She followed the motion through, charging through the door. She lunged at John, grabbing onto the front of his shirt. She pulled him towards her while spiking her knee into his gut, bending him over his knee and knocking the wind out of him. Then she shoved him back, slamming him against his wall. 

“You piece of fucking shit, I could kill you right now!” Eve shouted into his dazed face, angry tears starting to pour down her face. She bared his teeth at him, tempted to rip out his throat. “I should fucking tear you and Maria apart for what you did to Ezekiel.”

John’s eyes were wide in terror - he knew he couldn’t take on Eve physically. Especially not Eve _and_ Moriarty. Eve glared him down, as the murder in her gaze was slowly pulled back by her willpower. She closed her eyes finally, taking a deep breath. She let go of him, stepping back. John straightened himself up, hands trembling, still somewhat disheveled. 

“I could have you in jail for assault-” 

“We both know you won’t do that.” Moriarty contradicted, holding up a finger. “We have evidence of your abuse of one Ezekiel Jones. You wouldn’t want that flashdrive to fall into the hands of the law, would you?” 

John’s eyes started to dart around the room, like an animal being backed into a corner. He tried to draw himself up straighter. 

“You’re bluffing. The boy destroyed the flash drive. He wouldn’t lie to me.” John declared. Eve felt another surge of anger strike her, but she bit it back. 

“I wouldn’t bluff. Not over this. You underestimate how his fear of being locked up outweighs his so-called _love_ for you, you fucking twisted monster!” Eve shouted. John winced. Then Eve took a step back.

“Besides, I'm not here to bust you for abusing Ezekiel.” Eve announced coldly. John narrowed his eyes in confusion. 

“You’re not?” He questioned. Eve raised her chin proudly, looking down the slope of her nose at him.

“No. I'm here to bust you for abusing all of your foster and adoptive children.” She declared.

“You could never do that!” John exclaimed in disbelief. But Eve didn't back down.

“I can and I will! I will get testimony from every one of your children, I swear to god! That much evidence, there's nothing you could do! Nothing all the money in the world could do!” Eve said, smiling in wicked delight at the thought. 

John crossed his arms. “You’ll never pull it off!” 

“Oh, I will. And when I do,” Eve took a few steps forward again, until she was looming over John, suddenly a thousand feet tall. Her fury could block out the sun. Her nostrils flared, and John’s very soul nearly quivered. Whatever was left of it. 

“You better pray to _God_ that they put you and Maria away for life,” Eve swore, “because if they don’t, I _will_ put you six feet under. That’s a promise.” 

John was petrified, frozen in her gaze like a warrior before Medusa. He saw the end of everything he was in her eyes, and it terrified him like no firefight ever had. After a moment of agonizing doubt, Eve whipped away from him, stalking heavily towards the door. John, still frozen, could only watch in horror as they left. 

“What’s our next move?” Moriarty questioned, as he followed Eve through the man’s yard towards the car. 

“ _His_ next move,” Eve said, walking around the car and ripping her door open. “will be to call his weasel of a lawyer, Sesselmann. Which means that _our_ next move is staking out Sesselmann, and watching his every move.” 

They both climbed into the car, and Moriarty cocked his head at her as she started the ignition. 

“And how exactly will following Sesselmann around aid us in our endeavor?” The lawyer inquired. Eve buckled her seatbelt, sitting back and giving him a smug smile. 

“Sesselmann isn't just John’s personal lawyer, he’s also his financial advisor, and his executive counsel. He’s practically the man’s right hand. He does all his dirty work for him.” Eve informed Moriarty. The man’s eyes lit up, and he sat back in his seat. 

“I see. Following him will lead us to the primary abuse victims.” He realized. Eve pulled into the street and hit the gas, heading for Sesselmann’s office. 

“The most recent and the most severe, that are in the New York area, those are the ones Sesselmann will try to silence first. He's our North Star.” Eve said, full of adrenaline at the thought of her plan working out. Hopefully, Lady Luck was on her side. 

\------------

The first few days or so spent with Flynn were rather uneventful. Ezekiel mostly avoided Flynn, because he figured that was the easiest way to keep from fighting with the older man. 

The ice finally broke between them on Friday night. Ezekiel had been up late watching YouTube videos, and fell asleep still in his clothes. To start off, it was a rather uneventful sleep, until darkness started to creep into his dreamscape. Hands all over him, blinding him, hurting him, steel toed boots kicking at his sides...he couldn’t get away, he could _never_ get away…

“Ezekiel!” A voice broke through, and the darkness dissipated. Ezekiel flew awake, a cry half swallowed down his throat. There were still hands on him - he scrambled back, ripping away harshly, his heart starting to pound. But when his vision cleared, it was just Flynn standing at the edge of his bed. Wearing...the most ridiculous striped pajamas Ezekiel had ever seen. 

“Shit. Sorry.” Ezekiel said, once he’d swallowed his panic. He couldn’t look Flynn in the eye, embarrassed to be caught in such a situation. 

“Everyone has bad dreams.” Flynn said, in a tone of reassurance. Ezekiel scoffed. 

“Yeah, probably not as pathetic as mine, though…” Ezekiel muttered, disgust with himself starting to churn in his gut. 

“I call out for my mother in my sleep sometimes.” Flynn stated. Ezekiel looked up at him, slightly taken aback. Flynn winced, realizing the sentence sounded even stranger than he intended. “No, I mean, she died a while ago and I’ve seen her in my dreams ever since. Talk about pathetic, i’ve always been a total momma’s boy. Even in death.” 

Ezekiel blinked up at the professor, before he rubbed the back of his neck. 

“I’m...sorry?” He asked more than he said. 

“Don’t be. She died peacefully. Now, we should both get back to sleep.” Flynn declared. Ezekiel shrugged. 

“Go ahead. I’ll stay up.” He said. Flynn pursed his lips. 

“Not the kind to go back to sleep after you wake up?” Flynn inquired. Ezekiel nodded. A lightbulb appeared above Mr. Carsen’s head. 

“Well, then, grab your jacket. Who says that three in the morning is too early for breakfast?” 

\------------------------

Eve made a pleased noise as she bit into her food. They were sitting in their rental car - the lojack having been temporarily disabled by her dear ex-criminal ex-boyfriend - down the street from Sesselmann’s building. They’d been taking turns keeping watch on Sesselmann, while the other went to the hotel room they’d rented and rested for a while. Moriarty joined her now, back from his short nap, with food in tow. She’d been getting hungry, so the minute the food was within arm’s reach, she was already half done devouring it. 

“Nothing like a New York burger.” Moriarty commented, enjoying his own at a slower pace. 

“My, my, what would Queen and Country say?” Eve asked. Moriarty rolled his eyes. 

“Not everyone from England is so pretentious, Duchess.” Moriarty chided her. 

“Says the guy who insists on calling me _Duchess_.” Eve shot back. Moriarty was undoubtedly forming a witty reply, but it was lost when his eyes spotted a prize hurrying across the street in front of them. 

“Sesselmann’s off work. Looks like he’s in a hurry.” Moriarty said, pointing to the white haired man in a suit who was striding towards an open car door. Eve sat forward, watching as Sesselmann got into the back of his personal car. She started the ignition and pulled onto the street, keeping her eyes trained on that car, always remaining a few cars back. 

Sesselmann lead them through Manhattan, into a rather busy residential part of the city, with nice apartments and bare limbed trees lining the street. The car pulled up to a tall brick building with blue doors. They parked at the nearest intersection, and Eve narrowed her eyes as she watched Sesselmann knock on one of the exterior doors, number D45. 

“Who lives there?” She asked. Moriarty already had his laptop out in the passenger seat, and was typing calmly. A few keystrokes, and he smiled. 

“A single young woman named Vanessa Thatcher. 23, the first violinist of a local all women’s symphony. They’re rather popular, it seems. Oh, look here...has a criminal record, no surprise there. Parents were killed in a car accident when she was twelve, and she bounced through the foster system with the occasional petty theft and assault. Picked up for grand theft auto of a Ferrari she then _crashed_ when she was fifteen. That’s when they sent her to the Reynolds. Her criminal activity ends there. After living with them for the rest of her time as a minor, she graduated at the top of her class, went ahead to be accepted at NYU.” Moriarty read off. Eve crossed her arms, glaring at the door as a smiling young girl opened it. She looked white, with long black hair that was braided up. Eve remembered her. God, she remembered that girl. She had gone to a yacht party with the Reynolds and that girl, she had been so bright...they had undoubtedly been hurting her then. Right under Eve’s nose. Vanessa’s smile visibly fell at the site of Sesselmann, but she instantly stepped inside to let him in. 

“He’ll be twisting her arm for loyalty to the Reynolds, first. Guilt tripping her. Telling her they’re responsible for all her success. And then he’ll offer her a bribe, and if she doesn’t instantly take it, he’ll threaten her. He’ll do it carefully, but if she’s that smart, it won’t take much to tell her just what the consequences will be.” Eve said matter of factly. “She might take it off the bat, she might ask for time to think about it. She might refuse it. I don’t know, I’ve only met her a few times.” 

“What’s our plan?” Moriarty asked, shutting his laptop and sliding it back into it’s case. 

“We’ll wait till Sesselmann leaves, and then i’ll go up there and talk to her myself. We have to find out the truth, and then we have to convince her to help us tell the world the truth.” Eve replied. Moriarty grimaced.

“She might not be so willing to betray them.” He said. 

“They betrayed her first. We just have to hope that deep down, she knows it, better than Ezekiel does.” Eve sighed. 

“This Ezekiel of yours, he’s in such deep denial that you have to go to all these lengths?” Moriarty wondered. Eve’s mind flashed with the image of Ezekiel as a little boy, all alone, with nothing but a catatonic husk of a father and a tv set.

“He’s a special case.” 

\----------------

“I’ve never been to Denny's before.” Ezekiel said, as they were seated in a red booth. They were the only ones in the restaurant. It was...eerie. 

“It’s not the worst place. But it’s really not the best. Nothing fancy. I just figured we’d get a bite to eat and get some fresh air.” Flynn said, pulling his jacket around himself tighter. “The food is subpar, and takes a while.”

“Just the way I like it.” Ezekiel replied. They ordered their food - Flynn got endless pancakes, Ezekiel got an omelet - and then they waited. In silence. Until finally, someone made the first move.

“So, you and Eve…” Ezekiel said, wiggling his eyebrows at Flynn. Flynn just sat back in his seat, and arched one brow, like he knew something Ezekiel didn’t.

“So, you and Jake and Cassandra?” Flynn countered. Ezekiel blinked.

“Wait, what? What about us?” He asked, suddenly nervous. Flynn sighed, rolling his eyes. 

“Don’t bother. I can read it all over the three of you. They both like each other, and you. You like both of them. But you aren’t together, are you?” Flynn asked. Ezekiel’s eyes widened in terror. How did he know, how could he know? Flynn seemed to realize Ezekiel’s panic, because he sat up again, looking concerned. 

“Jesus, don’t get so pale! It’s okay!” Flynn exclaimed. Ezekiel swallowed, and looked down at the table. 

“No it’s not…” He muttered bitterly.

“Of course it is. Polyamory isn’t as foreign to the world as everyone in Western society seems to think. Trust me, i’m a student of learning. And one thing i’ve learned in my time is that sometimes, people have relationships that are far from the conventional, but still successful.” Flynn explained. Ezekiel looked up at him, suddenly intrigued. 

“What do you mean?” He asked. 

“Plenty of societies and ethnic groups, since the dawn of civilization, have had various forms of more than two people in a relationships being acceptable. The types of relationships that are acceptable by societies are always changing. Who knows, maybe one day it’ll be accepted in the West. Things are constantly coming in and out of style to humanity, you could say. If you limit yourself to what a certain society expects and tries to force on you...you might miss out on happiness you and they deserve to experience. Yes, it might not be common...but life is unusual. And you, Jake, and Cassandra…” Flynn waved a hand over his head. “Well, you’ve all been through some shit, to put it in causal terms. After everything you’ve been through...is liking two people at the same time such a big deal?” 

Ezekiel considered his words, heart troubled and mind conflicted. He took another drink of his coffee, grimacing at the bitterness. 

“So you’re saying...it’s really not that weird?” He asked. Flynn nodded, reaching for the dessert menu. 

“Really isn’t. Yeah, people might judge you, but...you have to live your own life. I’m sure you know a thing or two about that. I mean, think about it, kid. You like both of them. A lot.” Flynn pointed at Ezekiel’s chest. The Australian boy nodded, somewhat flushed at the confession. 

“And they both like you and each other, by what seems to be somewhat equal amounts. There’s no losers in this situation, nobody has to get hurt. Everything lines up perfectly.” Flynn announced, clapping his hands together. Ezekiel wasn’t so keen. 

“Cassandra’s dying, Jake is still pretending not to be a genius, and I’m a criminal. How is that perfect?” He asked. Flynn only smiled wider. 

“How is it not?” 

\------------------------

Once Sesselmann finally scurried off, Moriarty followed him in the car, while Eve stayed behind to talk to Vanessa. 

She took a deep breath before ascending multiple flights of stairs. When she finally reached D45, she knocked curtly, but still felt it too much.

Vanessa opened the door and looked somewhat startled. She was pale, and she looked around nervously before she spoke.

“Colonel Eve?” She asked.

“It's just Officer now. Unless you want to be really formal. But I'm not here to talk formality. I'm here to talk about the Reynolds.” Eve said. Vanessa’s eyes widened, and then she tried to shut the door quickly.

“I have nothing to say to you!” She said, as Eve fought to keep the door open. Eve used her other hand to take her phone out, and shoved it through the gap that was left in the door.

“Look! Look at him!” Eve shouted, with a massive amount of desperation. Vanessa paused in her shoving, craning to look at the lock screen of the woman’s phone. It was a picture of a young Asian boy, with bright eyes, laughing while a three legged dog excitedly licked his face. It was a rare snapshot of a moment of pure joy, and it gave Vanessa pause. 

“W-who is that?” Vanessa called through the door, afraid of the answer. 

“His name is Ezekiel. He got sent to the Reynolds when he was fourteen. He ran away from them when he was sixteen. In those two years, they abused him _horribly."_

_“God have mercy.”_

\-------------------------

“That was clever, back there.” Ezekiel said suddenly, disrupting the silence of their car ride back to the house. Flynn glanced over at him.

“What do you mean?” 

“Distracting me from asking how you feel about Eve by asking me about who I like.” Ezekiel said, crossing his arms. Flynn pursed his lips. 

“Contrary to popular belief, you’re not stupid. In fact, you’re pretty brilliant, according to Eve, when it comes to people. You know how I feel about her.” Flynn stated. Ezekiel nodded smugly, and then turned to look out the window. The sun was rising, and people were starting to mull about. Ezekiel watched as a woman shook a rug out her window, eyes following the dust as it rose through the air, becoming entirely immersed in the day’s first light. 

“She likes you back, you know. She’s just holding back because she’s afraid to depend on people.” Ezekiel informed him. 

“I know. It’s not about whether we like each other.” Flynn replied, his voice tighter now. Ezekiel cocked his head, turning it back towards the man behind the wheel. 

“What else could it be about?” He wondered. Flynn took a deep breath, eyes locked on the road ahead. 

“I...have been through a lot of goodbyes. With people I got close to. Sometimes it feels like I say _goodbye_ before I even get to say _hello_...” Flynn admitted, voice tinged with pain. Ezekiel felt something in his words resonate. 

“I know the feeling. It’s scary. I guess I shouldn’t be such a hypocrite. We’re in the same boat.” Ezekiel realized, sighing down at his lap. Flynn nodded, unable to deny it. 

“It’s not our fault! Getting close to people also means giving them everything they need to ruin you. It’s just not fair.” Flynn complained. Ezekiel mulled over the idea, and silence settled over the car for a few more moments. 

“Life isn’t fair, or nice, or forgiving.” Ezekiel finally said, softly, with all the resignation of a ship before a wide horizon. “But some people can be. If you get lucky enough to find them.” 

“You think I should ask her out?” Flynn asked. 

“Well, I give my blessing, if that’s a thing. And yeah, you should. She deserves her happy ending.” Ezekiel said. 

“Thank you. I...appreciate that.” 

\-----------------

“He threatened me.” Vanessa explained. “He said they gave me everything, and that they could take it away. Eve, they’re powerful, I don’t know if-”

“Hey. Nobody is above the law. Not if it’s done right. I promise, i’m going to keep you safe. If you stick with me, nothing bad will happen, okay?” Eve swore. Vanessa nodded, feeling a little calmer. Eve was a badass, and she was sincere. 

“What’s your plan?” Vanessa asked. 

“We already have enough evidence to arrest them. But I wanted to build as much of a background as we could, get to all the kids we can first. Form a united front. My friend James is a lawyer, and he used to be a felon, and he’d make a damn good private eye if he wanted. He’s helping us.” Eve told her. Vanessa nodded.

“Sounds like quite the plan. I’ll help however you want. I’ll do whatever it takes.” Vanessa said, full of a sudden steel that Eve hadn’t expected from the girl. 

“Are you sure? It _will_ be dangerous, and hard.” Eve countered, just to make sure. Vanessa nodded firmly. 

“I can’t live with myself if I don’t. How could I? They just got another foster child last week. We have to save them. We have to stop this.” Vanessa said, as if it was the worst news in the world. Eve’s heart stopped in her chest. 

“Well, that’s horrible, but…” Eve’s mind started to race a mile a minute. “That means this might be easier than I thought.” 

Vanessa furrowed her brow. “What do you mean?” 

“The most concrete evidence we have is a flash drive, with video footage of John practically trying to kill Ezekiel. Ezekiel took it with him, as leverage, but he never really used it. He’s too far gone into the illusion they forced him into. I thought that maybe you could talk to him, and make him realize he’s not alone.” Eve gestured towards the girl, who nodded. 

“Of course.” 

“But I was wondering if that would be enough to get him to testify. He’s not - he’s not a talker. If he had his way, he’d never breath a word about the Reynolds again for as long as he lived. But...if we tell him that another kid is at stake…”

“I understand completely. I know that I...I might have…” Vanessa’s voice left her, and she turned towards the window, lost in her own mind. Eve gave her her silence, closing her eyes as she imagined how difficult her task ahead was going to be. 

Could this spell truly be broken?

\----------------------

Turned out, there were no more of the Reynold’s children in New York. 

“I’ll follow him, he's traveling across the country. I've already booked a seat on his flight.” Moriarty assured him.

“Are you sure? That's a lot to ask of you.” Eve worried. Moriarty scooped up her hand and kissed the back of it.

“Anything for you, Duchess.” He swore. She rolled her eyes, tugging her hand away. 

“Vanessa should be here soon. You plan to take her back to Oregon?” James asked. 

“It'll keep her safer. And she agreed to help me help Ezekiel.” Eve replied.

“Are you sure forcing him to face this will work in your favor?” Moriarty wondered. Eve shook her head.

“It's not about my favor. It's about him, about what’s best for him.” She answered. Moriarty nodded, satisfied with her answer. 

\--------------

“What’s he like?” Vanessa asked, halfway through a so far silent airplane flight. Eve cracked an eye open to look at her.

“Who?” She asked. 

“Your kid, Ezekiel.” Vanessa clarified. Eve’s heart instantly filled with warmth and pain. She smiled softly. 

“He’s a little shit. Mischievous, loves to have fun, loves to talk back. But in a good way. He’s a little cynical even for your average teenager, but, can you blame him? I sure can’t. He’s been through a lot, and the Reynolds are just the tip of the iceberg.” She sighed, running her hand through her hair. 

“He’s got so much pain and confusion internalized in him, he acts out sometimes, but never out of malice. He’s never cruel towards anyone but himself. He’s just really confused, but…”

Vanessa was enraptured by the love pouring out of Eve’s expression. She propped her hand on the armrest between them.

“But what?” She asked, intrigued. Eve let her head rest back against the chair, lost in thought. 

“He’s done things that just amaze me. I don’t know how to put it, i’m not the best with words. But he’s strong, and smart, in a lot of ways. But, he’s got a strength in him, on the inside, that I don’t think i’ve ever seen in anyone else. If he could just get his head out of his ass…” Eve sighed, turning to look out the window. 

“I’m sure this will all work out for the best.” Vanessa reassured Eve, patting the top of her hand. 

“I hope you’re right.”

\--------------

“Oh, thank _god_!” Ezekiel exclaimed, when he heard Eve’s car pull into the driveway. He shot out of his chair and scrambled down the stairs. By the time he made it to the hall, Eve was just pushing the door open. A familiar face was standing behind her, with a backpack slung over her shoulder.

“...Vanessa?” Ezekiel exclaimed, narrowing his eyes in confusion. He had seen many pictures of her and heard of her, from the Reynolds. One of their proudest achievements. But he had never met her.

“Ezekiel, meet Vanessa Thatcher. Vanessa, this is Ezekiel Jones.” Eve said, smiling tightly as she gestured between the two of them. Vanessa nervously smiled at him, but she had weight in her eyes. Another child of the Reynolds, from New York, here...Ezekiel’s face fell, and he looked at Eve in a knowing dread. 

“You lied, didn’t you?” He asked. Eve’s face twisted up in remorse. 

“I’m sorry. I promise it’s for the best.” She replied. Vanessa’s smile fell, and she looked down at the floor. Ezekiel took a step backward, stance wary. 

“What do you mean? What’s for the best? What were you really doing?” Ezekiel asked, alarm growing. 

“Ezekiel, you know I couldn’t really leave this alone...” Eve said in resignation, reaching out a hand. Ezekiel pulled away, backing up a few steps to put distance between himself and the two women. Eve put her hands in her pockets so they wouldn’t start visibly shaking. 

“You promised you’d just let it go! What is she here for? Actually, on second thought, I don’t care!” Ezekiel exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. He spun around, intending to flee to the safety of his room. Vanessa, sensing the precipice of greatness and agony, lunged forward, stepping up a step to latch onto his arm. He froze, spinning to stare down at her in shock and alarm. Her eyes locked onto his, unwavering and intense as her grip. Painted in desperation, she took a deep breath, fearing her breath would shake upon the final delivery of the truth into the air. 

“They hurt me too.” She whispered to him, and in that moment, the turmoil in her eyes morphed into a mirror.

Ezekiel’s eyes widened, and the world shattered around him. The foundation on which he had climbed his whole life disintegrated, and if not for the girl’s hand around his wrist, he surely would have finally faded out of existence. She wasn’t lying, he could tell. If they...if they had hurt her...if the Reynolds had _hurt Vanessa_ , that meant...that meant...

“W-what do you mean? How did they...why…” Ezekiel asked, voice weak, searching for confirmation of something he didn’t want to believe. It couldn’t be true. He knew it was. How could it be?

Vanessa visibly swallowed, but didn’t let go of Ezekiel’s arm or her resolve. She glanced down at his wrist, in fact, and it summoned the first usable instance. 

“Did they ever tie you to the bed and leave you there for days?” She asked. Ezekiel stared at her in ever growing horror and resignation. 

“Weeks.” Was all that came in reply. Eve’s eyes widened, but she forced herself not to react. She had to step back, this had to play out like this. 

Ezekiel’s eyebrows furrowed as he attempted to wrap his brain around this information, this truth he had never asked for. How could it be the truth? If this was true then...then...what did this mean? This didn’t make any sense! None of it...was everything a lie? How was he supposed to know? What was he supposed to think, to do? He had spent his life searching for an answer, and he had finally found it. He had finally found it, no matter how hard it had been. But now? Now all of that was for nothing, it meant nothing. Nothing had ever _meant_ anything!

“But...you didn’t...did you deserve it?” Ezekiel asked, trying to strain for some sort of reason. 

“No. And neither did you.” Vanessa said, tilting her head. Ezekiel winced back from her words like they were a blow, pulling away from her. Numbly, in a daze, he started to head up the stairs. 

“Ezekiel -” Eve said, stepping forward, but Ezekiel held up a hand, not looking at her. 

“I just...I just need to think, for a while…” He said, voice distant. Vanessa and Eve watched him walk away slowly, turning to each other when he was gone. 

“I think that went well?” Vanessa said, grimacing. Eve shook her head. 

“I don’t know. He seems like he’s in shock, and that’s a scary thing for him, because he...let’s just say it has reason to worry me. But I know him, he needs his time to process things on his own. I don’t think he’ll do anything rash, at least, not right now. C’mon, let me show you my bedroom, you can have it while you’re here, I’ll take the couch.” Eve said, gesturing for the girl to follow her upstairs. 

“Oh, you don’t have to do that!” Vanessa exclaimed from behind her. 

“It wasn’t a suggestion.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes, how is ezekiel gonna bounce back from that one? stay tuned to find out! 
> 
> come talk to me at queerseth.tumblr.com!


	37. and the hole in the heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter of this tale has arrived, and Ezekiel gets the final push he needed from an unorthodox source.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG, BUT HERE IT IS, THE CONCLUSION! 
> 
> (ALTHOUGH PLEASE REMEMBER THIS IS TECHNICALLY NOT THE END, BECAUSE I'M GOING TO BE POSTING A FEW CUTE TIMESTAMPS THIS SUMMER ABOUT THE FUTURE OF THESE CHARACTERS, KEEP YOUR EYE OUT FOR THOSE EXTRA INSTALLMENTS PLEASE!)

Eve couldn’t sleep a wink that night, she was so worried. Had she done the right thing? Or had she just shoved Ezekiel into feeling numb and nonexistent again? Was this shock or …. the other thing? She didn’t know if she’d be able to live with herself if she’d done that to him. She only had to hope this would all be better for him in the long run. 

Instead of lying awake in bed, she was at her computer, working on yet another thing she needed to pull off. Ezekiel’s adoption. Nobody had warned her how long this process was. Well, it was worth it, no matter what. Luckily, Freya and Moriarty were more than willing to help her get started.

When morning came, Eve found Ezekiel sitting in his window seat, petting Stumpy, with a void expression. She hesitantly approached, and he made no move to acknowledge her presence.

“Good morning, kiddo. How are you feeling?” She asked. Ezekiel furrowed his brow slightly, but still kept his gaze pointing towards the horizon.

“I...don’t know.” Ezekiel replied softly, voice sounding distant. Eve grimaced.

“Well, uh...I can’t blame you for that. Look, I…” Eve put her hand to her forehead, shaking her head, voice tormented. “I’m sorry if I went behind your back with this. I don’t want you to ever feel like i’ve betrayed you or your trust. I just-” 

“It’s okay.” Ezekiel said, finally turning to look at her. The tiniest amount of warmth managed to make it’s way through the haze in his features. He said it genuinely, still a little distant, but with love. Eve’s shoulders fell, some of the tension leaving her. Ezekiel looked her up and down, nodding slightly. She had been expecting far more resentment.

“I know...that you did the right thing. It’s your job to protect me, even if it’s from my own lies to myself.” Ezekiel sighed, a bit of shame and anguish returning to him. He turned his head towards his lap, expression now troubled, as he started to refocus on the truth they were discussing. 

Eve pursed her lips. “Sometimes, you sound wiser than Jenkins.” 

“I told you, I watched a lot of TV as a kid.” Ezekiel defended himself.

“Yeah, sure...How does breakfast sound?”

\-------------------

“Ezekiel should be over soon.” Jake announced upon entering the room. Cassandra looked up, azure eyes holding the majority of her smile.

“Try not to swoon.” She teased. Jake scowled at her playfully. The doorbell rang, and they raced each other to answer it. 

On the other side waited Ezekiel, his hoodie pulled tightly around him. They both beamed at him and pulled him inside, and he almost seemed somewhat surprised by their enthusiasm. Not that he protested. They both linked their hands into his and lead him into Jake’s living room, as comfortable as it was warm. 

“Thanks for inviting me over. I really needed to get out of there.” Ezekiel sighed, plopping down heavily onto Jake’s couch and pulling his hood back. He had an air of...defeat. Jake and Cassandra took the love seat across from the couch, glancing at each other in concern. 

“Must be hard. What’s Vanessa like?” Cassandra asked. Ezekiel shrugged, looking down at his lap. 

“She’s nice. More than nice. She’s...better than me. Which is why I can’t stand to be in the same room as her.” Ezekiel admitted, crossing his arms. Jake tilted his head, furrowing his brow. 

“What do you mean, better than you?” Jake asked, all too familiar with this line of thought. Ezekiel shook his head.

“She’s so smart, and beautiful, and funny, and talented, and hardworking, and kind, and she cares about other people and doesn’t break the rules and never disappoints anyone.” Ezekiel lamented. Cassandra reached to grasp Jake’s hand in hers, as Ezekiel’s words against himself cut at their hearts. 

“Ezekiel,” She began carefully, but with earnest intent. “You know that you’re all of those things too, right? Besides maybe breaking the rules, but you’re getting better at that, and rules are overrated.” 

Ezekiel looked up at them, eyes full of swirling turmoil. 

“That’s the thing, I _don’t_ know. I don’t know anything. Nothing makes sense anymore…” Ezekiel burst out in frustration, before sinking back into the couch and looking back down at the floor. 

“You really needed to believe you deserved it, didn’t you?” Jake asked, in something between a breath and a whisper. Ezekiel glanced up to lock gazes with him, before looking over at Cassandra, with an ashamed and desperate expression. 

“I...I was all alone.” Ezekiel admitted, eyes flicking desperately between the two of them, begging them to understand. “He was alive but he wasn’t and nobody would tell me why. I was alone but I wasn’t and nothing made sense. I didn’t exist but I did. I didn’t know anything, but I knew some things but they didn’t make sense. I was in so much pain, no matter how much I learned or how far I ran, no matter how much I stole - it couldn’t fill the hole in my heart. I wanted to know why. Why. And the Reynolds -” Ezekiel got more and more life in his voice as he spoke, as he finally expressed all those warring emotions for a moment before their eyes. But at the mention of their names, he slammed shut again, cutting himself off and sighing. 

Cassandra and Jake stared at him, clutching each other’s hand tightly between them, frozen in their own pain on their friend’s behalf. 

“They told you why. They gave you a reason, something that made sense. Something to ground you, to give you perspective so you could finally see the world clearly.” Cassandra filled in, her mind racing with empathy and understanding. Ezekiel nodded, not surprised that she was so spot on. 

“That reason was a lie.” Jake said. Ezekiel groaned, rolling his head back and putting his face in his hands. 

“I know!” He exclaimed angrily. 

“Wouldn’t you rather have the truth than a lie, no matter how confusing?” Jake asked. Ezekiel rocked back forward, pulling his hands down. He looked Jake in the eyes, his expression suddenly full of exhaustion and defeat once more. 

“I would, if the truth could give me a reason. If the truth made sense, i’d take it any day. How am I supposed to believe you, either?” Ezekiel pointed out. Jake and Cassandra both rolled their eyes at that, near simultaneously. 

“We know you know it’s the truth or else you wouldn’t be so upset about it.” Cassandra stated, but as she did her eyes lit up in realization. “That’s why you can’t face Vanessa! She’s the evidence! She’s human evidence of everything you didn’t want to know!” Cassandra exclaimed, snapping her fingers. Jake and Ezekiel both looked at her with unimpressed grimaces. 

“Next time, maybe not shout that out like you’re on Jeopardy?” Ezekiel asked. Cassandra pursed her lips, lowering her hand and sinking back down into the seat. Jake sighed, rubbing his forehead.

“Right. Sorry.” 

“Look, it’s okay. You’re right, anyways. I just...feel like i’m right back where I started, except now it’s even worse.” Ezekiel huffed. Jake and Cassandra moved closer to him, taking up a seat on either side of him. He stared down at his lap, arms crossed and shoulders hunched. 

Cassandra reached out to wrap an arm around him, and rested her head on his shoulder. For a moment, she just listened to his heartbeat. 

“Don’t you guys wonder why your parents did what they did?” Ezekiel asked. 

“My parents care more about what they wanted me to be than they care about me. It doesn’t make sense - i’m here. I’m still me. But they’re disappointed in me anyways, for something I can’t control.” Cassandra whispered with a sigh. Both the boys looked over at her sadly. 

“That doesn’t make any sense, see? You’re so amazing, just the way you are!” Ezekiel said earnestly, looking into Cassandra’s eyes. Cassandra pursed her lips, tilting her head. 

 

“Sometimes...people do things that don’t make sense.” She said. Ezekiel shook his head helplessly, glaring down at his lap. 

“I know I didn’t deserve nothing my dad did to me,” Jake finally managed to work up the courage to say. “He was just taking all his own pain out on me.” 

“What are we supposed to do with that pain now?” Ezekiel asked. “Keep it to ourselves?” 

“We can make better memories!” Cassandra suggested. Her boys turned to her again, and she had tears in her eyes, and a smile on her face. She glanced at Jake, and they had some silent exchange. Then she glanced back at Ezekiel, reaching out to put her hand on his knee. Before she could even carry on with what she was going to say, Ezekiel shot up, standing and putting distance between them. 

“I’m sorry, I know - I know you both like me but I just _can’t_!” Ezekiel exclaimed, even more helplessly, wrapping his arms around himself. Cassandra and Jake also shot to their feet, Cassandra wringing her hands in guilt, Jake awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry, I -” Cassandra started to say, but Ezekiel was already heading for the door. They both deflated when they heard the door close behind him. Cassandra flopped down onto the couch, putting her head in her hands. 

“Great! Now he’s even more confused and it’s all my fault!” Cassandra exclaimed. Jake sat down next to her, wrapping an arm around his girlfriend, drawing her into him. Cassandra went eagerly, curling into the warmth of his embrace and resting her head against his chest. 

\--------------------

Eve was on the phone with Moriarty when Ezekiel got home, soaked from the evening rain, after he had walked (ran) the whole way home. He came shuddering up the stairs and, after a moment’s hesitation, knocked on her office door.

She paused in her conversation, setting the phone down. Ezekiel was sopping wet, shivering, and he looked shaken. Her heart twisted in concern and she rushed to him, reaching to wipe his wet hair out of his face. 

“Sweetie, what happened? Aren’t you supposed to be at Jake’s?” She asked. Ezekiel looked down at the floor, face twisting. No reply. She bit her lip, and then took a deep breath, pressing a kiss to his forehead to check for a temperature.

“We need to get you out of these wet clothes, and then we’ll talk, okay?” She suggested. He nodded, and turned to head to his room to change. She watched him go with a heavy heart, wondering what on earth could be wrong this time. Remembering herself, she turned and picked up the phone, apologizing to Moriarty before she hung up on him. 

Eve headed into the hall and came to a stop before Ezekiel’s door, reaching up to knock softly. 

“Come in.” Came a weak reply, and Eve entered the room, smiling sadly at the teenager in front of her. Ezekiel was sitting on the edge of his bed, in dry clothes, hair still wet from the rain. He looked rather like a soaked, kicked puppy. Which caused Eve to glance over at Stumpy with a smile, as the dog slumbered on the floor by Ezekiel’s desk. 

Eve walked over to Ezekiel, hesitating when she was a few feet away from the bed. She was unsure the right approach here. She opened her mouth to ask what he wanted, but his head finally tilted up towards her, and he looked hopelessly vulnerable. 

“Can you….” Ezekiel started to ask, but then his voice halted as he swallowed. Eve took an eager step forward. 

“What is it, kiddo?” She asked gently. 

“Can you...hold me?” Ezekiel asked quietly, so much so Eve could barely hear it. Eve almost choked, and rushed forward to sit next to Ezekiel and pull him into her arms. He returned the hug, curling into her embrace and resting his head in the crook of her shoulder. They just stayed like that for a while, basking in the insurance of each other’s arms. 

“What’s wrong, kiddo?” Eve asked finally. Ezekiel closed his eyes. 

“I lied about something I shouldn’t have…” He began hesitantly. Eve’s eyebrow raised, but she didn’t press. She waited for the truth to come to her. Ezekiel swallowed, balling his fists.

“Jake and Cassandra...they, uh, told me something a while ago. And when they asked how I felt I lied. And everytime I see them I have to keep lying.” Ezekiel lamented shamefully. Eve grinned, realizing what he was talking about. But he couldn’t see the smile, because his eyes were locked on the floor. 

“I didn’t mean to feel like this and I didn’t tell anyone for so long. I thought i’d leave and never have to deal with it, but then things changed but I thought I would be fine hiding it. I’m good at hiding things! Especially since it was never going to go anywhere. But they - they just dropped this _bomb_ on me! And they seem to think it’s okay but I thought - I thought that was something people didn’t do for a reason, it was wrong, and everything said it was wrong until Flynn told me it was okay and now I don’t know if it’s right because I don’t think I know _anything_ anymore…” Ezekiel was rambling, and Eve decided to get to the point. She pulled Ezekiel up, turning him by his shoulder until his wide, frightened eyes were facing hers. 

When Eve saw the fear in them, at first she thought it was just his fear in general of what he was saying, fear of what he didn’t know how to deal with. But after a second, she was suddenly sure that a good portion of this fear was directed towards _her_. His entire body was poised in shame. He was ashamed, and he thought she would be too. She was stunned for a second - it hadn’t occurred to her in all of this that Ezekiel would really be that afraid of telling her. She thought she had made herself clear by this point, but maybe it was something that would never really take hold. But that was okay, because she didn’t mind repeating it. She reached out to cup Ezekiel’s face, their gazes locked together. 

“Ezekiel, it’s _okay_. I don’t care what anyone says, one lesson you should learn is that society doesn’t know shit. If you love them, it may be unusual to other people, but to you - it’s not unusual to be loved.” Eve said sincerely, trying to pour her heart into her words. At first, Ezekiel’s eyes widened as he started to drink in her words, but at the end his left eye twitched. She realized what she had said, and held up a finger in between them before he could blurt it out. 

“Yes! I know that’s a Tom Jones song! My point stands.” Eve hurried to say, and Ezekiel grinned. His shoulder laxed underneath her other hand, and some of the fear faded. 

“So...you think it’s okay if I like them both? And they like me?” Ezekiel asked. Eve nodded. 

“Yeah. And don’t worry, i’ve known for a while now.” She said, letting the hand fall down to pat his leg. 

“Wait, you did? How?” Ezekiel exclaimed. 

“You’re good, kiddo.” Eve said smugly, leaning in closer. “But I’m the world class one in this house.” 

Ezekiel laughed, and then he shrugged, shaking his head. Eve frowned. 

“What is it?” She asked. 

“I appreciate that, I really do, but...even if it was okay in theory, that doesn’t mean I should…” 

“Ezekiel, not to sound cliche, but you should follow your heart. But you already know that, you do it better than anyone I’ve ever met.” Eve swore. Ezekiel shook his head again.

“I don’t know what my heart is saying anymore. I don’t know anything anymore.” He whispered, looking over at her with tears in his eyes. Eve’s urge to strangle the Reynolds rose in her throat, but she swallowed it in favor of wrapping her arms around her son once again. Neither of them said anything for a long time, before Eve finally broke the silence.

“When I was in the military, I...saw and did a lot of things I wish I hadn’t. My whole life growing up, I thought I knew right from wrong. But when you’ve seen things that I have...you realize that every conflict is pointless. Everything feels like it’s never going to change. People are always going to rip each other apart and make each other miserable. Sometimes, the only reason I kept fighting was because it was expected of me. For a long time I felt like I’d been disillusioned, like everything we try to make important really isn’t.” Eve explained, and Ezekiel’s eyes turned up to her with a new type of understanding in his eyes, but the rest was just as lost.

“What changed?” He asked. She brushed her fingertips through his raven hair, heavy truth in her palm. 

“Nothing, I still feel like that a lot. But...you just have to try and live your life anyway and find good things to fill your life with. And it’s always a good idea to try and fill other people’s lives with good as well.” Eve suggested. Ezekiel nodded, resting his head in the crook of her neck as they both contemplated just what their lives were filled with.

\--------------------

When Ezekiel woke up, white noise was crowding his skull and clogging his throat, making it too much of an effort to breath. He groaned, rubbing his eyes. He hated this. 

But even the dread, the fear of the numbness...even that was far away. It took far too long for him to get out of bed, but when he did, he was vaguely surprised to find it was 3:00 AM. How hadn’t he noticed that before? Did he feel strongly about that? He didn’t care enough to be annoyed. His stomach grumbled, and Ezekiel didn’t see any reason to argue. Taking care of his body seemed like the kind of thing someone was normally supposed to do. Then again, as he recalled the events of the past few days, nothing was for certain anymore. Did it even matter if he ate anymore? What if he just let himself starve, didn’t even put in the effort of killing himself…

_Okay, that’s an unusual road to go so far down for me._ Ezekiel suddenly realized, like he was waking somewhat out of a stupor. He tried to refocus, shaking his head and running his hands through his hair. The last time he had thought about that...his mother, that stupid dream of Hawaii and maybe _finding_ something...that had been his final end-all justification against all such trains of thought. So much so, that when he was younger, whenever things had been bad, it had sometimes been his only comfort. But things were different now, he had abandoned - okay, not, not abandoned...he had _moved on_ from that little kid’s fantasy. 

He had found something here worth sticking around for, and he couldn’t forget that, even when he was having a hard time remembering if he was even a person or not…even if things didn’t make any sense to him anymore, the people here did. That, at least, he had. Jake, Eve, Cassandra, Tom, even Flynn and Jenkins...they had been confusing as hell in the beginning, but now they felt like the only things in the world that made sense. He supposed that was what love was. _Maybe the chemicals in our brains just make it feel that way._ A voice wondered, but Ezekiel disregarded it on his way towards his door.

_Why is it always so bad on mornings like this?_ Ezekiel found himself wondering as he slowly stepped down the stairs on his way to the kitchen. As he watched his socks flare out every time he stepped against the wooden floor, he found himself somewhat entranced, forgetting anything else he had been trying to think about. He was so immersed as he slowly walked across the entrance hall, he didn’t realize he wasn’t alone until two hands were stopping him in his place gently. 

He looked up to see Vanessa craning her head at him, concern embroidered into her. The moonlight through the window in the door cast its beam between the hanging curtain of her dark hair, and he almost winced against it’s light. 

“Ezekiel, are you alright?” She asked. He blinked.

“Yeah. Just hungry.” He said, and his own voice sounded far away. Vanessa must have heard it somehow, because her eyebrows snapped together, and she leaned closer, studying his eyes. He took a step away, tensing up. 

“Sorry, I was looking to see how dazed your eyes are.” She explained, holding her hands out, offering peace and comfort. He hesitated, but something about how sure she sounded and the warmth of her presence, even after what she represented...he couldn’t help but be drawn in. 

“Why?” He asked. 

“You feel out of it, don’t you? For no reason you caused?” Vanessa asked. 

“I woke up early. Shakes up the system.” He filled in, not believing himself. _But god, he wanted to. Didn’t that count for something?_

“It’s more than that, isn’t it? Does it feel like everything outside is far away, or everything inside?” Vanessa asked, raising her chin. His eyes widened at the specificness and accuracy of her inquiry. He swallowed, trying to grasp onto his own mind again so he could find a way out of this social situation. 

“A little bit of both…” He heard himself ask, without really knowing why he was admitting this. Vanessa sighed. 

“I know the feeling.” She replied, with the exact tone he would expect from someone who knew what he was feeling. He stepped towards her, eyes widening even more, trying to hone in focus because this was _important_. 

“Really?” He asked, softly. Vanessa smiled sadly.

“Let’s have something to eat, and then we can talk, okay?” She suggested, jerking her thumb towards the kitchen.

\--------------------------

Vanessa and Ezekiel sat opposite each other on stools at the kitchen counter. The moonlight swept over them gently as they each took a moment to blow on their tomato soup. Ezekiel picked up his spoon and began to eat, focusing on the warmth. While Vanessa had cooked the soup, they had talked about the experiences they shared, and the differences between them. Vanessa told him her problem was more that the world around her didn't feel real, and couldn't relate as much to his more internal conflict. But still, her understanding even a part of what he felt shook him to the core in a way he has never known before. But now that they were seated, a silence seemed to come over them, each waiting for the other to break it. 

He didn't know how long they ate in silence, it was all a blur to him. One moment he was looking down and the next he was looking up, and Vanessa’s mouth was moving. He blinked, honing back in on reality. 

“I'm sorry, I didn't hear that…” He admitted. Vanessa didn't seem bothered by repeating herself, but her face held a carefully tragic quality. 

“I asked you what the Reynolds thought of this. You said you told them? I didn't start having problems like this until I was already with them, and I never told them. I can't help but wonder…” Something remarkably familiar flashed in Vanessa’s soft eyes, and she looked away. Ezekiel bowed his head, the dull ache of the past rearing its presence into the hazy void inside of him, pushing pressure outwards, making him feel as if he didn't belong in his own skin.

And he realized, suddenly, Vanessa was probably feeling as close to the same feeling as anyone possibly could, right now. He looked back at her, and her at him, and when their gazes met this time they both knew the other understood something nobody else ever had before. 

“They said they would help me.” Ezekiel whispered, and the tiniest changes in Vanessa’s expression told him her empathy, her knowledge of their manipulations. 

“They weren't helping you. They never were.” Vanessa whispered. Ezekiel’s lip quivered slightly, and a bitter taste stained the back of his throat. 

“I know that now. They were just hurting me. I was so _stupid_ -” 

“Ezekiel, no-” Vanessa attempted. Ezekiel shook his head at her, clenching his jaw. 

“I let them break me. I let them convince me to ask- to _beg_ for them to hurt me. And when they would, I let them train me to just take it and not fight back, not even a little bit. And the people I love got hurt because of it. Because I slumped like a sack of potatoes the minute someone started beating on me!” Ezekiel’s voice was tighter, louder, the white noise in his head finally giving way, only to allow anger and overwhelming despair to start to trickle back in. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. 

“You can’t blame yourself for what they did.” Vanessa said earnestly. He opened his eyes to gaze at her harshly.

“Why not? Who’s to say we didn’t deserve it? As if we matter so much, as if anything matters. As if anything really happens for a reason!” Ezekiel huffed, standing up and stalking away, leaving Vanessa with only the company of the moon. 

\-------

The next day, in first period, Ezekiel hesitated when he spotted Jake and Cassandra waiting for him at their usual table. Being close to them right now...didn’t seem like the smartest idea. He looked at the floor as he turned away and walked towards a table on the other side of the room, gritting his teeth as he felt their gazes linger on him. 

Luckily, the class was active and loud, so they never got a chance to come over and confront him. He did his best to avoid looking towards them and tried to focus on his work, instead of the emotions sparring inside of him. At the end of class, Jake and Cassandra got up quickly, intending to catch him before he left, but he managed to slip out the door and hurry down the hallway before that happened. Once he was around the corner, he let out a breath and ran his hand through his hair. 

Luckily, the next few classes he had were the online ones he did alone in a room in the office. It was actually a pretty bright room, and it had good reception. As Ezekiel worked his best to understand some of the basic concepts he had missed out on, he spared himself minor breaks to talk to Tom. 

**ur the only person right now that I can talk to without feeling like im awake during brain surgery - _Ezekiel sent 8: 34_**

**Glad to be of relief, as you well know ;) if you’re really not interested in being with jake and cassandra, my friend Mia thinks you’re hot. You know, the one I have Bio with? She asked me for your number the other day! - _Tom sent 8: 35_**

Ezekiel flushed, staring down at the message. He had seen Mia around, talked to her a few times when he’d been hanging out at parties more often. She had long hair and blue eyes, and always wore something denim but made it look amazing. She wasn’t hard into anything, but she liked weed and she liked to be social. Ezekiel remembered thinking her laugh was really nice...maybe this was what he needed to get Cassandra and Jake out of his head? 

**Well? Did you give her my number?- _Ezekiel sent 8: 36_**

**No, figured it wasn’t a good idea with everything...why, you want me to give you her number now? - Tom sent 8: 37**

It only took a second of hesitation before Ezekiel came to a decision.

**Yeah.- _Ezekiel sent 8: 37_**

\-------

Eve sighed as she read over her emails from the principle, deep in thought. So deep she didn’t notice Flynn entering her office, until he was right next to her desk. She startled, and then smiled up at him.

“What can I do for you, Mr. Carsen?” She asked, the picture of professionalism. Flynn had his hands clasped behind his back as he rocked on his heels. He glanced towards the door, then at her, before visibly swallowing. That meant he was nervous. Eve raised an eyebrow, and sat back in her chair.

“Flynn? Is something wrong?” She asked in concern. Flynn cleared his throat, reaching to run a hand through his hair. Now that she thought about it, he looked a bit more cleaned up than usual. 

“Yes! Yes, something is wrong. Something has been wrong for a while and it took some unorthodox intervention for me to realize i’ve been being a fool.” Flynn announced, voice tight. Eve nodded, as understanding dawned on her. She knew what this was about. She just smiled and nodded.

“You, being a fool? Stop the presses!” She drawled with a good nature, standing up and slowly passing him to shut the office door. As she did, Flynn carried on with the speech he obviously seemed to have rehearsed.

“You and I- we’ve been growing closer over the last few years ever since I moved here. I moved here after my mother died to take a break from my life, and I - I never thought I’d stay here this long, I’d never thought I could be so happy in one place.” Flynn carried on, tugging at his collar. Eve turned back to him, her heart speeding up in her chest despite herself. 

“Teaching is a rewarding experience.” She agreed, even though she knew that wasn’t where this conversation was going. Why not toy with him, he was fun when he was flustered. She had waited a long time for this. Almost made the first move a thousand times, but she had always pulled back. As had Flynn. If anything, she was giving him opportunities to back out. 

“It is, yeah, more than I expected...but that’s not what I mean, not why i’m here. I am here because…” Flynn drew himself up, looking at her fiercely as he tried to muster up his courage. There was something new in his gaze, shining through, that took Eve’s breath away. _Here it comes, finally._

“Because I’ve been in love with you since the first time I saw you.” He announced, with an air of exhilaration, as if it was the most terrifyingly exciting thing in the world. Eve’s face spread into a smile in return, she couldn’t help it. She’d been holding back for so long, to hear such passionate confirmation- she couldn’t let this fizzle out. Before she knew it, she was lunging forward, pulling Flynn towards her with a yank of his jacket so that their lips could meet like waves and the shore. 

They kissed for what felt like forever, professional environment be damned. Eve sure had a problem with yielding to authority for someone who was such a stickler for it. Potential consequences be damned, they pulled apart, but stayed near each other. They stared at each other, centimeters apart, breathing the same air as they waited for the gravity to bend.

“This is gonna be a nightmare of paperwork…” Was the first thing Flynn could think to say, at which Eve threw her head back in a laugh. 

\--------------------

“He _what_?” Jake exclaimed. Cassandra’s eyes were filled with tears that she was desperately trying to fight back as she fiddled with her thumbs. They were sitting in Jake’s truck, but he hadn’t even put the keys in the ignition yet. 

“He’s going out with Mia Angelo, you know, with the pixie cut and the leather jackets?” Cassandra explained. Jake felt pain and inevitable jealousy push at him, but he tried to be rational.

“We already knew he didn’t want us like that, Cassie…” Jake murmured. Cassandra’s hair bounced as she turned to look at him skeptically. 

“Are you telling me we both got the same mixed signals?” She asked helplessly. Jake sighed, rolling his shoulders miserably. 

“It doesn’t matter what signals we think we felt, Cassandra. If he doesn’t want to act on them at all, we need to let it go. Or else he might not want to even be our friends anymore, because we keep shoving this down his throat even when we don’t mean to.” Jake admitted, having spent a lot of time thinking over it the last few days. 

“I guess you’re right. He must really not want us. I just thought…” Cassandra sighed. Jake reached over and grabbed her hand, pulling her towards him.

“I know.”

\------

“So, you and Flynn finally, eh?” Ezekiel asked, glancing up from his dinner. Eve flushed, but raised her eyebrow at him in return.

“You and that Mia girl, eh? She’s cute…” Eve asked, but Ezekiel could tell her question was pointed in another direction. His face fell, and he looked down at his pasta. He pushed it around his plate for a moment, and knew Eve was still watching him, waiting for an answer to the question she hadn’t really asked.

“It’s not really anything. Just having some fun. Trying to take my mind off of things I can’t have.” Ezekiel admitted, such deep truth still tasting strange as it was born from his tongue. It was...a disconcerting feeling, one he had yet to fully adjust to. But there was something addicting to it, as well. Eve’s face had changed, and she set her fork down. When he glanced up at her, she was obviously looking for the right way to proceed. 

“What do you mean by ‘can’t have’?” Eve asked softly, dipping her toe into dangerous waters. “I thought...I thought they said - “ 

“Just because I want them and they want me doesn’t mean we should be together!” Ezekiel exclaimed, frustrated, but unable to look her in the eye. 

“I...think that’s _exactly_ what it means, kiddo.” She replied, rather matter of factly, hoping honesty would work. 

“Oh, you make out with Flynn in your office and suddenly you’re the relationship expert?!” Ezekiel snarled at her viciously, his teeth making an audible snap when he shut his mouth. Eve flinched visibly at the amount of sudden acid in his voice, eyes widening at his words. She opened her mouth, to chastise him probably, but then something flickered behind her eyes. Something Ezekiel recognized. _Fear_. Then she said nothing, seeming to change her mind.

The minute he saw that shadow of fear behind Eve’s eyes, Ezekiel felt like all his bubbly hot anger had been sucked out of him, and in it’s wake was the vacuum of regret. Why had he just bitten her head off? She was the one person who wanted him for sure! Even as rudely as Ezekiel had just spoken to her, why on Earth would she be afraid of Ezekiel?

“I-I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you, I didn’t mean - “ Ezekiel began to stammer, but Eve jumped forward to cut off his worry. 

“Ezekiel, it’s alright. I shouldn’t have probed and prodded at you about it, I’m just … so afraid of making you feel like I don’t care about you. I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.” Eve said sincerely, reaching across the table to take Ezekiel’s hand. The familiar warmth and her words made him relax.

“Isn’t that what moms do? Stick their nose into their kid’s business?” He asked, flicking his eyes up to meet hers, nervously but with excitement, daring to ask for confirmation. Just like they did every time he called her _mom_. Her heart warmed instantly, and she grinned widely. 

“Yeah, I guess it is. I must be doing a pretty good job.” 

\----------------

It was light that drew Ezekiel from sleep. The disc of the sun burning through his room in a pillar of gold that demand he awaken, causing him to groan as he rolled over, turning his back to the open window. 

Wait. 

The _open_ window?

Ezekiel sat up swiftly, whipping around to stare at it. His window was wide open and the room was _freezing_ cold. Snow whipped around as the breeze tossed his curtains. Ezekiel scanned the room, looking for anything out of place. With a thump of his heart, he realized what was missing.

“ _STUMPY!_ ” He cried out, jumping up and yanking clothes on as fast as he could. He ran down the stairs, wrapping a scarf around his neck and yanking on the blue gloves Eve had gotten him as he headed out the door. Once in the yard, he was able to find Stumpy’s tracks - only three, after all, easy to spot. 

And this was how Ezekiel Jones found himself walking through town for quite a ways early in the morning, the sun having just risen, snow blanketing the Oregon landscape. The closer he got to the end of the trail he was following, the more sure he became of Stumpy’s destination. Of course he would head for the dog park, it was his favorite place in town. 

When he reached the dog park, he found it was rather eerie in the dead of winter, especially this early in the morning. A slight mist hung everywhere, making the white snow covering everything even more pale. The morning light refracted off of the facets in the snowflakes, making the whole park look like it had been covered in glitter. The snow was mostly undisturbed, like a giant blanket across the field and the trees, save a few paths of footprints winding through. One of which he followed through the middle of the park, until he cleared the treeline and came upon a surprising scene. He had assumed nobody would be here, but he was wrong.

None other than Mr. Jenkins was sitting on a park bench in front of him, Stumpy sitting happily in his lap as the old man petted him calmly, sipping tea from a to-go cup all the while. 

“Ah, Mr. Jones, there you are.” Jenkins greeted him as he approached with a bewildered expression on his face. 

“Jenkins, what are you doing here?” Ezekiel asked. Jenkins shrugged nonchalantly.

“Waiting. I do that.” He replied, as if it was obvious. Ezekiel furrowed his brow further.

“This is a dog park, it’s winter, it’s the crack of dawn, and you don’t have a dog!” Ezekiel exclaimed. Jenkins just patted the spot next to him.

“Care to join me, young man? It’s a fine morning, and you look like you could use some fresh air and a kind ear.” Jenkins said. Ezekiel’s gut rippled a bit as he debated his options. Part of him wanted to take Stumpy and curl back up in his bed until the world ended, but another part of him could already feel the tension leave him slightly as there was nobody but the two of them in the whole park. It was actually kinda peaceful. Ezekiel caved, sitting next to Jenkins and sighing in relief when Stumpy jumped into his lap. 

“Don’t scare me like that! I would have taken you out when I got up, idiot…” Ezekiel reprimanded the dog, hugging him close and stroking him while the dog licked at his chin, obviously not perturbed by his actions whatsoever. 

“Ah, sometimes the taste of freedom and the unknown can be intoxicating. I should know, I spent 7 months on a tour bus with Ozzy Osbourne.” Jenkins decreed, voice dripping with age, experience and nostalgia. Ezekiel blinked at him.

“You’re yanking my natters, aren’t you?” Ezekiel demanded. Jenkins just kept looking ahead of him and took a sip of tea, a smug smile teasing his features. 

“I assure you, I don’t make it a habit to yank anyone’s anything.” Jenkins replied. Ezekiel rolled his eyes as if in disbelief, but deep down his mind was filled with images of bat head eating competitions and god knows what other illicit activities. The man was pretty old, after all...maybe Ezekiel should be giving him the benefit of the doubt when it came to the unknown. 

They sat there in silence for a moment, drinking in the picturesque winter morning. The cold air made Ezekiel’s face tingle, and made his breathe announce itself visually when it danced into the air. Despite the fresh air, there was still a tight ring of tension around Ezekiel’s chest. 

“There’s something on your mind, isn’t there, Mr. Jones?” Jenkins asked knowingly. Ezekiel shook his head.

“There’s never anything on my mind, remember, Jenkins? I’m a bigger airhead than Tom, and that guy thinks that Osama Bin Laden started WWII! I mean, come on. You think you’d remember a name like Ferdinand.” Ezekiel groaned. Jenkins raised an eyebrow, finally looking over at Ezekiel, an unreadable twinkle in his gaze. 

“I see Mr. Stone and Mr. Carsen have been successful with their history lessons, then.” Jenkins noted. Ezekiel flushed slightly, looking at his shoes.

“Barely. It’s not like i’ll ever know as much as everyone else….” Why was it so easy to talk to this guy? Ezekiel’s stomach didn’t twist at the thought of Jenkins knowing how afraid he was. It was...new, but not unwelcome. 

“Well, nobody knows as much as anyone else. We all know more about certain things than other people do, we’re all spending our entire existences learning and unlearning and relearning with every second. You may not have been enrolled or successful in school at times throughout your childhood, Ezekiel, but you were still learning. You learned skills that most of us can never imagine possessing, and you managed to learn to be a kind and caring person despite the world trying it’s hardest to teach you otherwise. That is no small feat, Mr. Jones.” The old man reached out, and laid a hand on Ezekiel’s shoulder. Ezekiel didn’t pull away. 

“What is _really_ on your mind, Mr. Jones? Why are you here still, sitting in an empty dog park with a forgotten old man, instead of with the people you fought so hard against yourself to be with?” Jenkins said seriously, concern in his eyes as Ezekiel stared up at him. 

Ezekiel was struck to the core by how spot on Jenkins assessment was. Jenkins was looking at him like he was a book that had been lost in translation. Ezekiel felt his eyes water slightly, and he shook his head.

“I don’t know how, Jenkins.” Ezekiel confessed. “It’s too confusing, it’s too much. I think i’m broken.” He confessed, turning his head away in shame. 

“What don’t you know how to do, Mr. Jones? You forget, I am a teacher.” Jenkins’ calming voice suggested, his palm starting to rub warm, comforting circles into Ezekiel’s back. Ezekiel hunched over a bit, staring at the dirty snow on the concrete path.

“I don’t know how to be a real person. I don’t know how to live- life, _life_ doesn’t make any sense. Some people get off fine, and then the rest of us get trampled through the mud, and it just doesn’t make any _sense_! Code makes sense. You tell a computer how to do something, and it listens to what you say! The outcome equals the appropriate results! Logic dictates, not strength or goodness or chaos or whoever has the most money. _Stealing_ makes sense! If you want something, and you have the balls and the skill to go after it, if you can pull it off, it’s yours now! I thought I had all the answers figured out, I thought I had a way to at least try to be better, to be real, to be someone…” Ezekiel’s voice died with his hope, and he hung his head, nuzzling Stumpy and trying to breathe again. Jenkins hand on his back was helping to remind his lungs to expand and deflate, but it was a distant signal. 

“Mr. Jones - Ezekiel, please. Look at me.” Jenkins insisted softly. Ezekiel took a deep breath, slowly sitting straight again, hugging the dog to his chest as he dared to look up at Jenkins through his eyelashes, afraid of the compassion in his face.

“Ezekiel, the universe itself will never make sense, because it _is_ chaos. Tragedy, miracles, nonsense, logic...it’s all arbitrary.” Jenkins told him. 

“What do you mean? That there is no answer? What’s the point of living if it’s nothing but pain that makes no sense?” Ezekiel begged, becoming more and more distressed. “Why - why does it hurt so much? Why did they have to hurt me so much? _For nothing?_ ” With his last words, his voice cracked, and Jenkins squeezed his shoulder, staring deep into his watery eyes.

“They hurt you because they were confused once, just like you. The world hurt them, and the only way they could make sense of it was to hurt others. I’m not saying there is no answer, Ezekiel. I’m telling you that the answer will never come from the outside, it will never come from even the love of others, despite what the songs tell you. No, that is not what makes the universe clear to you, that’s not what gives you a reason to embrace the tragedies and the miracles. It’s not about who loves you, it’s about what you love. The world doesn’t make sense, Ezekiel, it never will. That’s why you have to find something that _does_ make sense, and hold onto it. _Hold onto it, and never let it go_.” Every word Jenkins said was dripping with sincerity, and wisdom beyond time. 

Ezekiel felt like the world had stopping spinning, the snowflakes suspended in the dawn around them while he stared up at Jenkins, as his heart pounded in his chest. As the meaning of Jenkins’ speech made itself clear in Ezekiel’s mind, he felt a soul shaking pang in his heart as his whole world narrowed down to one feeling, one massive, complex, overwhelming feeling he had been trying to keep suppressed for so long. The dam broke, and it flooded his entire being, drowning everything he knew in terrifying, exhilarating clarity.  
_Oh. Of course. There it was. He’d had the answer the whole time, hadn’t he?_

“I have to go!” Ezekiel exclaimed, jumping to his feet with wide eyes and a hammering heart, as if he’d been possessed. Heat and adrenaline flooded his veins, and everything seemed to be sharper, more intense, as everything finally became clear. He had felt like this once before, but not to this degree, when he had almost jumped off of a bridge in Australia. He remembered this same heat, this same throbbing focus, as he had leaned over the edge and let the vast distance to the roaring water taste him. 

But this was different. This was not the edge of death, but of life.

“Can you watch Stumpy? Thanks, bye, I owe you one!” Ezekiel shoved the dog into Jenkins’ arms before the man could protest, and then he turned on his heel and took off sprinting through the snow as fast as his legs could carry him, the fire of need burning his muscles to pitch themselves farther into the fight. The cold air whipped at him as he recklessly tore through town, cutting off cars at intersections and nearly skidding on ice all the way down 32nd street. 

Ezekiel’s breath rolled into the air raggedly and with a wet, loud harshness as he pumped his body harder, his entire being consumed with the desperate, entrancing need to journey to the center of his earth. 

Finally, like the sea parting for Moses, the suburbs opened up to reveal Jake’s house down the street. Instead of slowing down, Ezekiel drove himself harder, slamming up the steps of the porch before he stopped to heave in air in front of the door. He doubled over, clutching the door frame, dragging air into his lungs before straightening out. He raised his fist hesitantly, still a little out of breath, staring at the grains in the wooden door that held back the storm he so desired. 

_That’s why you have to find something that **does** make sense, and hold onto it. Hold onto it, and never let it go._

He knocked, and then stood there still as a statue, trying to remember how to breathe. When the door opened, it revealed two faces, not one.

“Ezekiel? What are you doing here? Why is your face so red, are you alright? Did you run here?” Cassandra asked, tilting her head as she instantly examined everything about him. He swallowed past his dry mouth, hands starting to sweat. He could do this. He had once stolen a gun out of a cop’s hand with three fingers, he could do _this_!

“Oh! G-good! You’re both here, that’s easy, that makes this easier, yeah…” Ezekiel yelped a little too loudly, rubbing the back of his neck as he started to move his weight back and forth from one foot to the next. Jake frowned at him.

“Dude, what’s up? You look like you just saw a ghost!” The other boy exclaimed. Ezekiel licked his lips, mind racing. 

“The Reynolds,” He began, voice breathless. Both Jake and Cassandra froze, realizing what was about to happen, eyes glued to him. “...they locked me in a closet. When I - when things got bad and I really tried to leave, they dragged me back, and locked me up in the coat closet. I did everything I could to get out but they never- no matter how much I screamed or begged. Eventually I was in there so long I forgot I was alive.” Ezekiel confessed, voice coming out too fast, too high pitched, too emotional. _Damn it all to hell._

Jake’s eyes were filled with an dawning understanding, and Ezekiel knew he was remembering the incident with the supply closet at school. God, that felt like a lifetime ago. Cassandra’s eyes were watering, and she seemed to be fighting it, fighting the urge to fling her arms around Ezekiel and weep. 

“How long?” Jake whispered. Ezekiel’s normally silver tongue felt remarkably lead-like at the moment.

“I didn’t know at the time, but later, I figured out it was about a month, give or take a couple of weeks…” Ezekiel replied, and Jake turned away, cursing, unable to stop himself from punching the wall of his house, causing his two companions to flinch slightly. But neither of them could blame him for the impulse, and Ezekiel found he wasn’t afraid of the action at all, knowing that it was born out of love for him. _Love_. That was why he was here. 

“Ezekiel, I’m so…” Cassandra’s voice was tight with the tears that had escaped her eyes, and she reached out hesitantly for his hand. Ezekiel rushed to take it, pulling her closer, and wiped the tears off of her face with his thumb. She blinked up at him as he did it, her heart as fast as a rabbit’s foot. Cassandra glanced over at her boyfriend, who was watching the scene with a raised eyebrow as he calmed down from his earlier outburst. Ezekiel looked over at him as well, and reached out his free hand for Jake’s. Jake moved forward slowly, as if he was afraid it was a dream.

For a moment, they just stood there, close enough to touch but only holding hands, their heads bent towards each other, breathing. Jake and Cassandra’s faces were both filled with questions, and Ezekiel only had one true answer. He knew that now. Maybe he had always known, without knowing he knew, because _this_ is what he’d been looking for his whole life. The one thing he could never steal.

“A wise man once told me that life isn’t about who loves you.” Ezekiel whispered, glancing between the two of them. His words were soft, allowed to fill the space between them only, and he liked to think that they could never escape into the rest of the world. “It’s about who you love.” 

Cassandra made a strange, strangled squeak, her face twisting as his words washed over her. Jake couldn’t believe his ears. He felt like at any minute, his alarm clock was going to crash through the sky. Ezekiel pulled them a little closer, until all their sides were pressing together, and their arms found their way around each other tentatively. Ezekiel summoned the last of his courage to break through the bulwark of his heart, to let the truth set him free.

“I don’t think I really left that closet when I ran away.” He whispered. “My body got out but the rest of me stayed behind. When I met you I was still in the dark, where nobody could reach me, where nobody loved me. Where I had nobody to love. Or maybe it goes back farther than that. Maybe I never left the basement I grew up in. Where I didn’t really exist, where the world moved on without me. Either way, it doesn’t matter now. I thought I couldn’t have this, I thought the door was still locked, but a weird conversation with Jenkins in the dog park made me realize that I already had the key in my hand.” Ezekiel’s smile was stretched from ear to ear, heart heavy with something other than sorrow for once in his life. 

“I have him, and Stumpy, and Eve, and Flynn, and I have you. I want you. Both of you. I lied, I’ve wanted both of you since I got here. I think I’ve been in love with you since I first saw you.” Ezekiel finished, holding his breath as his confession hung in the air. They both stared at him, drinking it in for a split second, before they both surged to kiss him, intending to show him just how much they returned those feelings. 

Unfortunately, the passion of the moment took precedence over coordination, as Jake and Cassandra ended up banging their heads together and stumbling back before they could even reach Ezekiel. Cassandra cried out, doubling over as she clutched her forehead. Jake and Ezekiel both felt their hearts skip a beat as her nose started bleeding, as it always did when she had any range of an attack.

“Shit, shit, shit, i’m so sorry Cassie, i’ll go get an ice pack!” Jake exclaimed, ripping open his door and rushing inside. Ezekiel grabbed onto Cassandra, helping her stand straight, pulling a handkerchief out of his pocket so she could wipe her nose. She blinked a few times, shaking the things only she could see out of her vision. Then she gave him a smile, happiness shining out through the pain. 

“I guess we’ll have to work on our throuple timing.” She said gleefully. Ezekiel shook his head, sighing.

“We _are not_ calling ourselves that.” Ezekiel said, but he was smiling like a fool just as much. Cassandra leaned into his arms, resting her head against his shoulder and letting her eyes closed in contentment. God, it felt so good to hold her like this. He never wanted to stop. The only thing that made it better was when a concerned Jake returned, hurrying to join the embrace, wrapping his arm around the other side of Ezekiel as he reached to gently press the ice pack against Cassandra’s head. She blew him a kiss to say thank you, and Jake smiled from her up to Ezekiel. His eyes were shining with pride and joy. Then Jake leaned up, pressing a kiss against his cheek, making his face flush again.

Ezekiel drank this in for a moment, the peace he suddenly felt, along with the exhilaration. For the first time in his life, he was truly content. And for the first time in his life, when he thought about the future, it wasn’t with fear or with despair. It was with excitement, and hope. He had a family. He had a home. He had needed to find something to make everything else made sense, and boy, had he found it. It almost felt like it was too good to be true, but at the same time, he had never been so sure in his life that he was real, that this was _real_. 

Overwhelmed with happiness, he felt a tear leak out of his own eye, but not one of pain. He pulled Cassandra’s head up gently to press a kiss against her lips, losing himself in the noise she made and the softness of her mouth. And the feeling of Jake’s breath speeding up as he pressed himself closer to them, breath knocked out of him by the sight. Then Ezekiel turned his head to give Jake the same treatment, and Cassandra giggled as Jake’s knees almost gave out. Once he pulled away, they all took a moment to grin at each other like absolute idiots.

“That musta been one hell of a talk Jenkins gave you. What did he say to you that made you run all the way here?” Jake asked. Ezekiel pondered how to respond in a timely manner, too tired and emotional to explain the whole thing. 

“Well, you know how he is, he said a lot and it was pretty cryptic...” Ezekiel explained. 

“To sum it all up, I guess you could say...home is where the heart is?” 

 

 

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit, guys. This has been a JOURNEY. But it's actually NOT OVER YET, I'M LYING TO YOU. This is the end of the main story, yes, but I will be posting those timestamps that I promised for this story this summer, so PLEASE STAY TUNED FOR THOSE IF YOU LOVE THIS STORY AND IF YOU LOVE YOURSELF BECAUSE I'VE GOT A FEW MORE TASTY MORSELS FOR Y'ALL ON THE WAY!
> 
> That being said, I can get on to the sappy part of this author's note. I've had a really hard life myself and a lot of what I write is various forms of projecting or catharsis, and this story in particular has been very important to my life the past - woah it's almost been two years. 37 chapters, god knows how many words and god knows how many typos, but we made it! Thank you all so much for sticking with this story and giving me amazing feedback and love, you have no idea how much it means to me that so many people (John Harlan Kim included, apparently) have enjoyed this story. 
> 
> Yes, that's right, John Kim (the actor who plays Ezekiel Jones) read this fic a while back and you can read his response HERE:
> 
> http://queerseth.tumblr.com/post/153933725487/throwback-thursday-to-when-outruneverything-and
> 
> I'm still in shock, especially considering what a morbid and queer mess this fic was... but the heart of it had a specific message, and I hope that message has gotten where it needs to go. This has been so much fun, I can't thank you guys enough! It's been my absolute honor to provide this fandom with this story, and it's been one of the best times of my life being in this fandom in the first place! 
> 
> Please feel free to check out my other stories, I write a LOT of Librarians (mostly Ezekiel centric) fanfiction and I will continue to write more for the foreseeable future. 
> 
> Come hit me up on queerseth.tumblr.com or @snorkleworld on twitter for more The Librarians content!


	38. Author's Note - ATTENTION LITS!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Important information on the premiere of Season four, and some info on upcoming installments in the Home is Where the Heart Is universe. I promise you'll want to read this!!
> 
> (If you already know the information about Season Four, please scroll to the bottom to read the info on HIWTHI)

Hey guys! Sorry, this isn't a random new chapter. I wouldn't be doing something as drastic as this if it wasn't extremely dire and important to all of us, trust me. As you may or may not know, **Season Four** of The Librarians has been changed from it's original air date of December 20th, to air on **Wednesday, December 13th, at 8/9 Pacific Time.** That's tomorrow! Dean Devlin himself has struggled with getting this initial schedule change to be heard by everyone recently, but then TNT went and changed the scheduling AGAIN, TWO DAYS BEFORE THE PREMIERE.   
  
Yesterday, they changed it to where the _first three weeks_ will all have BACK TO BACK EPISODES AIRING. This means **two new episodes, every night, for the next three Wednesdays!** This means the ENTIRE FIRST HALF OF THE SEASON (It's a _**twelve episode season**_ this year, in case you didn't know that) WILL BE OVER AND DONE WITH WITHIN THREE WEEKS. 

Now, this is cool in some ways, but it's also really scary in others. This means that there are currently hundreds of fans out there who not only have no idea of the NEW PREMIERE DATE, they won't know there's ANOTHER EPISODE after the first one, and they might miss it! And if an entire fourth (or more) of the season has horrible ratings because nobody was aware of these confusing last minute schedule changes, it sadly puts us at risk of not getting renewed for season five! Plus, you and your fellow fans will miss out and be confused!

Dean has asked us as fans to help spread the word as fast and loud as possible, especially for the premiere. They simply do not have time to change their advertisements or release enough new promos with this double episode information. So please, please, please take time out of your day today and tomorrow and even for the next three weeks to remind people that SEASON FOUR OF THE LIBRARIANS IS BACK, and it will have THREE WEEKS OF DOUBLE EPISODES! 

[(source)](https://kanencyclopedia.wordpress.com/2017/04/19/the-librarians-season-4/)

 

And now, back to discussing what we're actually here for: _**Home Is Where The Heart Is!**_

  
As I said in the notes at the end of the final chapter, this universe isn't entirely over. I have a few snapshots in time (aka timestamps) that I plan to write blurbs on, and you'll see them added to the SERIES that this fic is in, they will not be added as CHAPTERS. This means you should make sure to subscribe to the SERIES, and not just the fic itself!

  
  
_**SUMMARIES OF UPCOMING TIMESTAMPS:** _

\- Jassekiel moves into their first college apartment as a trio (very domestic ot3)

 

\- Eve/Flynn Wedding!

 

\- Eve/Flynn pregnancy! (Eve is scared Ezekiel won't take the news well. What do you guys think his reaction will be?) 

 

Now, as you can probably tell, these all will be taking place in the future. HOWEVER, i'd like to open up the invitation for anyone to come into the comment section here, or my inbox at [jedijenkins.tumblr.com](http://jedijenkins.tumblr.com/), and request blurbs/ficlets about things you might be interested in from this universe, things you would like to hear more about, ideas you yourself might have for stories that take place within the story - hit me up! You wanna read more about Tom and Ezekiel's friendship? About Jassandra's relationship, before they met Ezekiel? Wanna hear about cute fluffy things for the ot3 to do, or cute family vacations? Tell me!

(yes, i've had a url change. I suppose I better go back and change every time i've mentioned my url in notes before, for new readers...) 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, kudos and the like are super amazing and help me get through my day! Thanks for reading!


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